Why does he care if I have found his replacement?
Q. I was dating a guy for almost a year when he out of no where decided he wanted to date someone new. I was very hurt, angry, and confused. We talked and of course he said he still wanted to be friends. I told him he needed to give me some time. I ...
A. 10 October 2011: It was probably a misunderstanding. You know you did not send him a text that Friday he mentions.
So, either he is A-confused or B-curious if you are dating someone else.
If the answer IS B..that does not mean he is interested again.
... (read in full...)
My husband (who cheats) wants to go off his anti-depressants, and it is way too soon!
Q. I've got serious issues, and no one to talk to. I have a great family, wonderful friends, but I'm so afraid of judgment. And now the plot has thickened. I'm 25, he's 29. My husband and I have been together 6 years, married 2. He is a former...
A. 10 October 2011: You are right, your husband should NOT be going off his meds now because he is still in therapy and has a past serious history of suicidal tendencies AND attempt.
I would talk to his Dr (who may not be able talk to you due to client confiden... (read in full...)
My husband (who cheats) wants to go off his anti-depressants, and it is way too soon!
Q. I've got serious issues, and no one to talk to. I have a great family, wonderful friends, but I'm so afraid of judgment. And now the plot has thickened. I'm 25, he's 29. My husband and I have been together 6 years, married 2. He is a former...
A. 10 October 2011: You are right, your husband should NOT be going off his meds now because he is still in therapy and has a past serious history of suicidal tendencies AND attempt.
I would talk to his Dr (who may not be able talk to you due to client confiden... (read in full...)
Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 10 October 2011: Yes, there is something he is withholding from you. The affection you crave to feel wanted, desired and attended to. The two of you do not run at the same speeds. You have been going together 5 mos and the most he has ever given you is a simp... (read in full...)
I made a comment about her name, now she thinks I was stereotyping!
Q. Ok here's the deal. I met this girl and her name is Diedra, now we were on the bus heading home from school and I made a comment out of nowhere (without thinking) stating girls with the name Diedra are typically fat. Now she got pissed and I thought ...
A. 9 October 2011: Who knows what she thinks now. Good for apologizing,but saying Im sorry does not always get the reset button.
What to do? Go be a good friend and think before you speak next time. ... (read in full...)
If I was so repulsive then how can he not think that now?
Q. My spouse is 1/2 my age and had an affair with a woman closer to his age (actually his step daughter, my own child). I am 40 and durring his affair he told her, and his best friend and a few other people that touching me was disgusting. He ...
A. 7 October 2011: Wait. You just had two people BETRAY your trust!
You should be repulsed by the both of them.
Who cares what he said about your body? Why are you concerned with his feelings and what does or does not turn him on?
Work on the bigger issues at... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my inner lips ever since one guy said they looked weird!
Q. hi, so this is more of a body issue question.. I am 21 years old and I'm a virgin. I have had oral sex once a couple years back but it has really made me isecure. I have larger inner lips 'down there' (labia minora) and the guy I had oral s...
A. 7 October 2011: Body parts come in different shapes and sizes. He was a bumbling fool.
If a guy told me that my parts looked wierd I would be tell him, "Thank you for your assessment. Your services are no longer required."
Trust me, the guy who truly adores... (read in full...)
Love my job, but! Married Boss is badgering me to have an affair. What's the best realistic thing to do in this situation?
Q. I have been at my job for about a 18 months. about 6 months ago, my married boss started badgering me for sex. I emphatically told him I wasnt interested because he had a wife. plus he is not my type-- although i couldnt say that to his face beca...
A. 7 October 2011: Stop "playing nice" with him and ignoring his advances. Look him straight in they eye and say NO. Let him know that any further approaches on the matter is considered stalking and harrassment.
Tell him, "I want you to treat me as if your wife wer... (read in full...)
Help! Advice? Am I driving my daughter away? Am I being too controlling?
Q. My daughter will be 21 on her next birthday. She is a high achiever but also could be a handful at times. From the ages from 16 to 18 she was out a lot, yes she was doing her A levels, part time job and cared for her horse. She also did go out with...
A. 5 October 2011: To a Mom, from a Mom...
At the rate you are going, you WILL lose your daughter!
First of all, understand that you SHOULD "lose" your daughter as a CHILD. You need to gain her as an adult now.
I get the feeling that you are most comfortable... (read in full...)
Should I give my husband another chance and risk losing the life I really want, or should I finally file for divorce?
Q. This is sort of complicated...but not at the same time. Just a decision I have to make and would like some input. My husband and I separated almost two years ago. We had a very bad emotionally abusive relationship. He never worked, expected me to do ...
A. 5 October 2011: Your husband/child's Father has not come out and directly said he wants to give your relationship another try.
Dropping hints and taking actions are two different worlds.
Some facts needs to come out in the open. You have no hope of having a... (read in full...)
I made a comment about her name, now she thinks I was stereotyping!
Q. Ok here's the deal. I met this girl and her name is Diedra, now we were on the bus heading home from school and I made a comment out of nowhere (without thinking) stating girls with the name Diedra are typically fat. Now she got pissed and I thought ...
A. 5 October 2011: Imagine if the roles were reversed.
"Gee, men named mannyfresh are usually gay, right?"
Sorry, you made a bonehead move. Go apologize and think before you speak next time.
... (read in full...)
Kisses and being called sexy
Q. I have a quick question.if a guy gives you a kiss on the lips and calls you sexy,does he like you ?...
A. 5 October 2011: Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss!
If a man wants more..he will pursue more than that.... (read in full...)
Does my husband have a problem with me? or sex?
Q. Been married 12 years and sex has always been a problem almost from the beginning. When we were dating I had a higher sex drive and was frustrated about the quality and quantity of sex, although when I married him I reasoned that it would be easi...
A. 5 October 2011: Did the two of you ever have any couples counseling after the cheating came out?
Did you tell him how that made you feel? More importantly, did he HEAR you? Is it possible there are still unresolved issues/emotions from the past infideli... (read in full...)
Husband goes away for extended periods of time. I don't think this is fair!
Q. I need advice. Me and my husband of 9 months have been at item for 8 years. In this last few years he did a bit of backpacking with his mates and i guess you could say he got a bit of the travel bug. Im not a big fan of travelling to farway places ...
A. 5 October 2011: Did he have the traveling bug before you got married?
Did you discuss your expectations of your marriage before you got married? Time together? Time apart? Kids...etc?
Before you form you ask "Should I stay or should I go?" You need to have a c... (read in full...)
Married to rich girl, but her parents don't wana see me attending parties at their place, my wife doesn't know this, what should I do know?
Q. I am married to a girl for last 10 months with whom I was in a relationship for one year before we got married December last year. She is from extremely rich family and my monthly salary is equaled of her daily pocket money . Somehow she ...
A. 4 October 2011: I can understand your motivation to make peace with her parents,but your choice to obey them solidifies the message they are sending to you.
They are letting you know "We do not think you are good enough to be with our daughter, our home, ar... (read in full...)
Is my FWB toying with me? Should I wait and see what he does or should I just ignore him and get over it?
Q. I've had a FWBs relationship with a guy for a little over a year now, I've asked for advice on here before but now there is a different problem I seem to cant understand. He has recently become more affectionate with me and openly telling me he wa...
A. 4 October 2011: When you are clearly a FWB, the relationship rules do not apply. So, if it is not working for either one of you, why continue?
He is wanting you on demand, like hot and cold running sex on tap. When he was thirsty, you said no.
When you were... (read in full...)
I gave him $9000 dollars. Could that be the only reason he stays? He still hasn't paid it back.
Q. My and my bf of 1.5 years had a fight a week back which was not my fault. But anyway i apologiazed and we made up. But the thing is he used to call me/msg me at least once a day. For the past few days he is not calling, even if he does just talk...
A. 4 October 2011: Did you set some terms with him regarding payback? Did you call it a loan or a gift?
You need to talk with him ASAP and discussing him paying it back on a schedule.
Let the relationship and the loan be two seperate issues.... (read in full...)
Any make-up and style tips for me?
Q. I'm a pretty nerdy person. I have never had a boyfriend and I would like to change that. Most guys I like are out going and "crazy" but I'm pretty shy unless around friends. When I'm around my friends, I'm crazy, random, and fun. But with strangers ...
A. 4 October 2011: I am giving you the same advice I give my daughter. You should be comfortable in your own skin!
Since you are in the 13-15 age range, I would reccommend you go with a very natural look, with make-up that just enhances, not covers up your beauty:)... (read in full...)
You don't bring me flowers anymore..
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months...we moved fast and are in a committed relationship. I want to know why things change...We used to text constantly during the day..now? Not as much...He used to bring flowers...Now? Nope..We have been ...
A. 4 October 2011: Dated for two months and now have been living together for 1 month?
The courting period went on the fast track, but the two of you are both responsible for the romancing and pampering.
You have not been together long, this should still be ... (read in full...)
When married guys flirt are they looking for the "emotional attachment" that I miss too? Or are they just looking for no frills sex?
Q. Does anyone else have a difficult time getting over a crush? I am married with kids and in my late 30's yet still wonder whether my married crush thinks about me etc. My husband is very attractive and athletic - more so than my crush but is some...
A. 4 October 2011: I think it differs from person to person...but I wonder if you are missing some "spark" with your husband.
Put the focus and energy into your marriage to find out how to crush on him again!
Obessing on the married crush will only lead you to... (read in full...)
She refused to go out with me.Says not yet. what is she afraid of, or is she afraid at all?
Q. Ok, earlier I said, "I am jealous of my friend going out with my other friend", so to get her out of my head I looked for another girl and said, "how do I get my friend to like me". She said no when I asked her out, so now I went back to the girl...
A. 4 October 2011: The answer was no. Respect it. She said NOT YET, so she is not ready.
Relax, go on with your life and school, etc.... (read in full...)
Should I confront my cruel sister for what she has done? She's ruined my education, I miss my husband and she destroyed my passport.
Q. Help help help Please. I got married and was to travel for honeymoon with my husband the next day. as we were to pursue our masters degree in england. On The day, we went to the aiport but We couldnt go. We had to return home because we found out ...
A. 4 October 2011: You confronted your sister with the evidence. You told her your anger and heartbreak.
What do you hope to happen by exposing her misdeed to the family? Do you think that would make you feel better for your loss?
What good would come out o... (read in full...)
Was I Wrong for Talking to Another Guy?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago. We were having some troubles about a year ago and just took a break for about two months. In that two months he talked to other girls and i talked to this guy. I had a crush on him and so di he. We ...
A. 4 October 2011: No, you were on a break from the relationship. That applied to BOTH of you. If the rules ONLY applied to him, then he is being a jerk.
Consider yourself fortunate to be free!
... (read in full...)
No husband or boyfriend. Am I wrong to feel bad about this?
Q. Is it wrong for me to think that my life is over because I don't have a husband OR boyfriend? I'm 35 and I hardly even date. I'm extremely shy and not a positive thinker. ...
A. 4 October 2011: Is it wrong? No..who says you NEED to have a partner?
Now, if you WANT a partner or to change your outlook to be more positive and choose NOT to do anything about it...that may be wrong. So, if you know what you want out of life (and no, your lif... (read in full...)
Gyno thinks the pill is a good idea, but I don't want to tell my mom I'm sexually active
Q. So today i went to the gynecologist and she said that the only thing that would help with the issue i have is birth control. My mom does not know that i am sexually active and isnt sure about the idea... I on the other hand want to go on the pill ...
A. 4 October 2011: If you are mature enough to address being safe with sex, making health choices regarding your medication and menstural cycle, then you are also mature enough to talk to your Mom.
:) You can do it! It just a better policy to be honest.
Yeah, y... (read in full...)
Girlfriend uses emotional blackmail and I'm not sure how to deal with it anymore
Q. We’ve been dating for about 15 months. I am 27. My gf is 26. We attended my friends’ wedding. I know both the groom and bride. My gf came along as my guest, but she didn’t know neither of them. The wedding was ending since other guests were ...
A. 4 October 2011: DO you fish? Have you ever caught a fish that was not regulation size? What do you do with it? Toss it back into the water and give it time to grow.
Sorry, but this girl is a high-maintenance, passive aggressive princess with all her mind gam... (read in full...)
His antidepressant medication is ruining our sex life
Q. Hi there My boyfriend suffered from depression for a few months and was subsequently put on sertraline. While he was on it we had an active sex life, however he had difficulty maintaining an erection and achieving orgasm. He also was unable to sl...
A. 4 October 2011: It can take a LONG time for the body to detox from the medication effects. Even if he is no longer taking the med, the body chemistry still needs to adjust to new levels.
Encourage him to seek a Urologist who can check his hormone levels. If he is... (read in full...)
4 yrs with my bf who still married but separated..still no sign of filing for divorce!
Q. hi everyone, I needed help and advice as I'm in so much pain.. I love my bf so much.. i am single mum and currently in a relationship with a man whos 18 yrs older than me and still married. were in a long distance relationship for 4 years now ...
A. 4 October 2011: You are painfully UNhappy! This man is not going to change that situation.
Dear, he LIED to you about his availability status right from the start. He was MARRIED then..and still is. If he really wanted to be divorced and moved on as a single m... (read in full...)
My wife says I don't care about her because I don't help her with her resume enough!
Q. I've known my wife for several years, and we got married a few months ago. She has had a tough situation at work for the past 2 years or so, and she gets very angry and upset about it. I listen to her talk about her situation at work frequently,...
A. 3 October 2011: You have approached her and asked her directly what she needs, so you can examine if you can provide that.
Seems to me, you have gone above and beyond with making life easier on her, offering help, etc. But this is out of your expertise.
You... (read in full...)
4 yrs with my bf who still married but separated..still no sign of filing for divorce!
Q. hi everyone, I needed help and advice as I'm in so much pain.. I love my bf so much.. i am single mum and currently in a relationship with a man whos 18 yrs older than me and still married. were in a long distance relationship for 4 years now ...
A. 3 October 2011: You have been with this man four years and you have not met his family?
Listen to your instincts. You are wasting your time on this man.
When the two of you have your visits-what is the focus of the visits? You only see him a few times a year... (read in full...)
How to get him into running? I do not want to suggest too obviously that he might think his huge belly is bothering me
Q. I have been seeing this shy guy for six dates. I started to like him and he seems to like me too, otherwise he will not ask me out :) We have entered this friend zone. I like his intelligence, some sense of humor, quietness, and like me, he is a...
A. 3 October 2011: It would be better to care for this man for who he IS-rather than who he could be.
BE his friend, but it does not sound like he is good romantic potential because his belly is in the way.
Date folks who already have physical fitness in their... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my b/f to give a week's notice when he has the kids?
Q. I would be grateful for some ideas and practical solutions from people who understand what I’m talking about or experience it themselves. Before I start: I know the kids of the partner by ex come first, that’s a given. The problem is this: My boyf...
A. 3 October 2011: No, you are not unreasonable. The kids should be on a set schedule anyway! It is better for them and does not run everyone else ragged.
It is all about balance. You are not saying you do not want to be around his kids-you are saying you want to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend finished oral sex rather than stopping so we could have sex!
Q. last night i gave my boyfriend a blowjob thinking that it was just a starting way for us to have an intimate moment that very same time. but then i was surprised that instead of him getting into the mood, he just blew it all by himself and nothing ...
A. 3 October 2011: Then your BF is a selfish lover. If he lost control or just wanted to finish that way-he should have STILL made sure you were satisfied too!
... (read in full...)
Living together vs. the FIOS contract
Q. Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles, How would you take this comment? Dating exclusively 11 mos, we're seeing each other 4-5 nights a wk (includes sleeping over), we're had a couple of vacations together but talk of the future has been minuscule other...
A. 3 October 2011: It means he has not seriously thought of the two of you living together AT ALL.
He is not letting you know WHEN he will be available to do so-he is letting you know he is fine with things the way they are.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with feeling so Betrayed? My husband told family intimate details of our sex life.
Q. My husband recently told my family that I let him try anal sex. This was really rude, disrespectful, and certainly uncalled for on my part. I am really upset that he felt it was 'ok' to share this private and personal information with my family of a...
A. 2 October 2011: Wow, was your husband a dumb@ss! He just took something that was private and intimate between lovers and broadcasted/boasted to family.
Obviously, he was only thinking of himself and disregarded your feelings and your private life. You are vali... (read in full...)
Why would this guy still be on the dating site? I feel so used and disillusioned!
Q. I met a guy last week from a dating site for the first time. We had an amazing time and had sex which was fantastic! Of course this all sounds quick, but I believe it was the right thing to do at the time even though we only knew each other couple ...
A. 2 October 2011: This is one of the hardest lessons to learn:
Dating rule #1- If you are just looking for a good time-have sex with someone as quickly as possible when you meet someone.
Dating rule #2-If you are looking for a LONG time. Get to know the person,... (read in full...)
Are people with borderline personality problems looked upon as monsters?
Q. Hi guys! This is more of a general question than a relationship question but I do hope you will give some of your time even to read over it. I was diagnosed some time ago with borderline personality disorder. Since then I have done some extens...
A. 2 October 2011: I have had a bf and two close friends with a BPD. I do not think they are monsters and I know it hurt them when others
have confronted them about their angry lashouts.
Having a BPD does not make you less valuable or less loveable. It makes you... (read in full...)
This girl asked that my best friend stop hanging around so much
Q. So I don't really know what to do, now. I really like her and I genuinely think she's sweet and cute and all, but there's this nagging feeling always in the back of my mind. She hasn't had a good history with boys, because all the guys in her crow...
A. 1 October 2011: I have a teenaged daughter and am privy to many converstations she has with her friends.
At such a young age, boys and girls are figuring out romantic relationships and how they work. Sadly, having a bf or gf for most people at this age really i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue
Q. I'm 33 and have been in a fabulous relationship of 6 months with my boyfriend. He speed up things since we met by introducing me to his friends and family very quickly, inviting me to go with him to a wedding 3 weeks after our first kiss, making ...
A. 1 October 2011: I experienced this before. I suspect your bf freaked himself out and needed someone to blame for his actions. I might also suspect your bf had a personality disorder or is possibly narcissistic.
HE was the one that moved way too fast, made the... (read in full...)
Do we tell the parents of my son's girlfriend that we walked in on them having oral sex?
Q. My husband and I walked in on my 17 year old son performing oral sex on his girl friend who is 16. My husband and I disagree on what we should do. I think that we should call her parents and tell them what happened. My husband on the other hand said ...
A. 1 October 2011: The ONLY person you need to be talking to is your son.
Discuss all your reasons of concern in a calm manner. Health, emotional, consequences, etc. Whatever you feel is really important.
Discuss respect. If you do not want him having sex with ... (read in full...)
My HUSBAND was interviewed, but I saw that he kept looking in the direction where girls were?
Q. he is a theater actor and was interviewed at a talk show. i noticed that he was frequently looking the direction where many girls were sitting there were men too but the staring became too noticeable. i saw that he kept looking in the other di...
A. 1 October 2011: I would caution you to learn to compartmentalize your husbands public persona and his private one. He was acting this way in public, nothing was sneaky or improper about it.
Men look at pretty women. That is simple truth. It does not mean any... (read in full...)
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