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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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I yelled at her and due to her past it's left her feeling traumatized. Now she's ignored me for 2 days. How can I make things right?
Q. in need of help... two nights ago, out of frustration and in the heat of the moment, i slightly raised my voice at my girlfriend of 6 months. this was the first time I ever did that. I simply got upset over something involving us. later on i...
A. 18 May 2013: I wonder what has happened in her past that causes her to be traumatized by what happened between you two. I say this because "ignoring" someone is a method that is common by people who have trauma personality affect that is a method of punishing. ... (read in full...)
So hung up on my ex that I can neither move forward nor ask for closure
Q. Hello, let me just say that I appreciate any and all advice I may receive on here. Three years ago when I was just seventeen, I met a man in his thirties and we spent the next seven and a half months together. I was entering my senior year of h...
A. 28 April 2013: You keep trying to relive the past, instead of accepting and entering into new experiences. Sure, another guy is not him, but he is a new experience, and that experience can end up being a treasure in your life as well. There was something special ... (read in full...)
She's never been with anyone else and want to try a new relationship
Q. hi i have been with my gf for about 6 years now we have two kids and and im 20 she is going to be 21 in a couple months. Well recently everything is fine she was my first i was her first and up till now i love her so much i dont want to leave he...
A. 25 April 2013: Why does she want to try a new relationship? Have you two ever sat down and discussed her reasons? It seems to me that she's young and is trapped in between being a responsible mother and partner to you, but at the same time wants to experience ... (read in full...)
He's separted from his wife but still legally married . We've been dating but now he wants a break. What should I do?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, this may be long so I apologize in advance. I have found myself in a situation I can't really talk to anyone about, except all of you. For seven months now I have been in a relationship with a gentleman who is separat...
A. 25 April 2013: You experienced so many firsts with the wrong man. It's normal when a female looses her virginity to feel emotionally attached to the one she looses it to. Unfortunately you're with a man who is in a transitional state with his marriage. Back and ... (read in full...)
How can I quit basing my worth on whether I'm single or not, with guys pursuing me or not?
Q. I'm 24, recently out of a long, troubled relationship. I think we broke up for good a couple months ago already. Anyway, when I was with him, I wanted to be single. Now that I'm single, I feel very lonely despite having many friends and my family, ...
A. 25 April 2013: Your issue is about you, not about guys or relationships. When you don't find worth within yourself, for yourself, you seek to supplement it with how others view you. You need to feel attractive by how others view you, because you don't view ... (read in full...)
I screwed up with the girl I really like!
Q. Ok, so there is this girl that goes to my school that I really like, and I think she likes me back for a while too. But recently, I asked her to smoke weed with me and she agreed( it was her first time), and now it seems like she hates me, she has ...
A. 25 December 2012: I would just see what happens. You should not bring someone who does not smoke to smoke. See, if she regrets trying it, guess who asked her to? You then become part of what she regrets. "If I hadn't met him, If I hadn't liked him, I would not have ... (read in full...)
Help me help my friend
Q. I have a friend and we've been talking about his current problems and I keep telling him the same thing over and over again but now I don't know what to tell him. I would like some help to make him feel good again. You see, he just met this gu...
A. 25 December 2012: Our actions do not define who we are. Our hearts do. It sounds like he has deep seeded protection over his. This happens when someone has been hurt by someone else that was once truly in their heart, but now it's being protected from letting someone ... (read in full...)
How should I react when he upsets me?
Q. My boyfriend and I are both in our mid twenties. We've been together 2 years. I've always been the kind of girl in a relationship that when something bugs me, I freak out, start yelling, threatening to break up etc. I also have some trust issue...
A. 25 December 2012: You recognize that your anger doesn't get you anywhere. That's a big step in changing it. When you get upset, that's the choice you make in reacting to something he has done that you feel violated you. It's that being upset that needs resolved. Were ... (read in full...)
Our marriage deteriorates day by day. Sex is almost non-existent. Problems beset us. What can you advise? Because we need help now.
Q. I am having difficulty sleeping with my husband. We have been together for the past 6 years but our relationship seems to deteriorate by the day. In the beginning we couldn’t keep our hands off each other but these days the very thought of bein...
A. 25 December 2012: I agree with the other poster. You have anger in your marriage that you are holding onto. When you do, you set up mental blocks. These mental blocks are causing you to see your husband through the anger you are holding onto. This is damaging your ... (read in full...)
Am I being a complete fool?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a man I'm very much in love with for the past 2-1/2 years. We are both going through a separation however he's a very kind hearted person one of the reasons I love him so much but he also enables his wife quite a ...
A. 25 December 2012: It seems old habbits die hard. I'd sit him down and talk to him about this, and be firm with how you feel. Let him know that until he stops catering to her, you two won't be able to move forward together. ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find true love?
Q. Hello y'all I'm Amanda I'm 20 years old about to be 21 in May 8th, I was born with brain damage and my mother died when I was 6 years of age and I'll live with my grandma forever. Okay here's my question why is it so hard for me to find a guy who ...
A. 12 December 2012: So you think differently. That doesn't make you brain damaged, it just means you think different than what society considers the norm. I do as well, having ADHD. It's interesting tho, because others with ADHD understand my train of thought, as I do ... (read in full...)
Can chemistry be built up over time??
Q. I currently have an intimate relationship with my best friend, but when I bring up being in a relationship, she says the chemistry isn't there. I really think it's just because im not a big muscle tatted bad boy. We already get along great and ...
A. 12 December 2012: You may or may not have chemistry, but it seems like she's not ready for commitment. That is something that will come in time. If chemistry is not there, no it won't build up in time. However, if she's not ready, she may be ignoring the chemistry ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, doesn't care to see our child or pay for anything,
Q. My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, we already have a child together and he has two before me. When we broke up the first time, he was on craigslist looking for men and women for sex and i took him back, he was looking at porn also and when we were ...
A. 12 December 2012: It seems your relationship was based on sex, so it isn't meant to last. You dated a guy who it seems has a "baby is the girls problem" attitude. It's sad to say that what he wanted from you is sex, but it's evident when your split up, and he's ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks.
Q. I need some outside advice... We've dated for over 2 years now. My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks. Each time, she had what sounds and feels like a reasonable excuse why it happened. First time, she had fallen asle...
A. 12 December 2012: I agree with the other poster that you may have to back off a bit and give her more space. What I would do tho is apologize for the argument. Since you saved all this money from the date that didn't happen, send her some flowers (not roses, a nice ... (read in full...)
Why do I find so many similarities between my dead boyfriend and my current one?
Q. Dear Cupid; I was one of the most blessed people alive, I had everything, the family, the friends and a love story that blossomed since I was young, I fell in love with my high school sweetheart and we went to collage together then got engaged...
A. 12 December 2012: First of all I'm not psychic, so I don't have the ability to seek answers, per se, from those who have passed. However, as I've gotten older, and have worked with a large number of individuals with lifes issues, I've found myself to be empathic, so ... (read in full...)
I'm from a broken home and find myself attracted to older men but I don't want to be!
Q. I am a person with a very mature mind tho I act my age sometimes but my reasoning is very well above my age. I feel older I do not know why like I have been in some past life and I am a reincarnation of my self. Even people who meet me for the first ...
A. 7 September 2012: Both... I believe we've all lived many lives, each one we learn more about who we are, and become closer to the oneness between physical reality, and spirit. We are heading toward a critical time in history. The earth vibrates at a faster rate than ... (read in full...)
We both had a similar bad dream on the same night, does anyone have any ideas what this was all about?
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice, or I'm not sure what I need, maybe some clue as to what this means... Alright, so last night, me and my fiance both had bad dreams, a little about us first; We've known one another for four or so years, it's been ...
A. 7 September 2012: Moving in together, and getting married are huge changes in your lives. In that change, there is a subtle fear, because you both want it to work out, and as in all relationships, there is a chance it may not. It's that little bit of fear that you ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 7 September 2012: Adoption, not abortion. I can't stress enough the negative mental affect women get cursed with when they have gone through having an abortion. I know your young, and this was unexpected, but it doesn't mean things won't work out, or that you'll be a ... (read in full...)
How do I cancel the date I have planned now I am exclusive with my partner, but still keep this other man as a friend in case this one doesn't work out?
Q. I have been single for about 14 months, dating casually here and there, I've been seeing a guy that I've known for years the last couple of months casually and also been seeing and texting other people. (as he has as well)This guy and I have ...
A. 4 September 2012: How long have you been dooming your relationships? You are skeptical, but you don't allow yourself to move deeper into a relationship because your fear hinders that. How would you feel? "I want to make a go with you, but just in case, I'm keeping ... (read in full...)
Guy at a bar leant in for a kiss and got my lips before I could turn away, do I tell my boyfriend about this?
Q. Hi everybody, just a quick question! I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him so much, I went away for a night out with my girls Saturday night and a few men were chatting me up I think I must of said "sorry, I've got a bo...
A. 4 September 2012: I would because it's keeping this secret that is tearing you up. Reason being, relationships foundation are built by the honest and trust they hold. I don't think you did the wrong thing. In fact, you tried turning your head. The guy, who I'm sure ... (read in full...)
What options do I have? I love him very much I do not find our love life very satisfying.
Q. My BF prefers oral and anal to intercourse. I prefer intercourse to oral and anal. Despite my repeated requests to have him "cum" inside me during intercourse using a condom it still has not happened. When he does make love to me (which does n...
A. 4 September 2012: Talk to him. You need to find a medium that can satisfy the both of you. Some do prefer anal, because of it being tighter, but not having a compromise is what's causing the issue your facing. You need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel. ... (read in full...)
I love her but I think our relationship is dead, what should I do?
Q. Hello everybody, Me and my girlfriend, we have been together for more than a year now, but recently she started to act like she does not want to see me anymore. We used to have fun together almost every single day, but now I haven't seen her ...
A. 4 September 2012: It seems you already know what to do, and are asking for some hope that their is a magic cure to fix this. Unfortunately there isn't. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and have this planned in the same direction that I would ... (read in full...)
I asked g/f if something was wrong and she said she didn't know. Now I feel insecure!
Q. Hello everyone I wanna ask what is up with my girlfriend and what you think is going on Ok so I started dating a girl over long distance two months ago and she said she would come and see me no matter what well her parents said no twice and that m...
A. 4 September 2012: It seems she has issues she's dealing with. It may or may not be related to another guy, but it does deal with your relationship. It may be that she's saying "she doesn't know" because she's trying not to hurt you while sorting out her feelings. Who ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 4 September 2012: Your boyfriend cannot make you do anything you didn't choose to do. You have a child coming into this world, so the first thing you must do is to take responsibility for your actions. When a guy is controlling, dump him. You are to young to begin ... (read in full...)
I think my best friend slept with my FWB
Q. I think my best friend slept with my friends with benifits. She brings him up alot. How do I find out ? I slept with him two daya ago thimgs were good...
A. 4 September 2012: I agree with the other poster. It doesn't matter, because they are a FWB. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my wife really loves me?
Q. My wife and kids are my world. My wife and I have been together for 13 years, living together for 10, ( Ive concidered her my wife that long), married for 7. She was my first love and I hope my only love. Before we were married, she moved out for ...
A. 4 September 2012: Only you an answer that...but if it took "sex" to make her choose between you and another man, it seems she puts to much stock in the physical, and not emotional bonding with someone. What I wonder is what are you feeling that is causing you to ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him that the one night stand meant nothing?
Q. I'm after a little bit of advice. I really have messed up and don't know how or if I can fix this. I really like this guy, but I thought he had made it clear that he wasn't interested in me. His best mate started flirting with me and I stupidly...
A. 4 September 2012: You can't. You have to be realistic here. You like a guy... he doesn't show interest, so you sleep with his best friend. How is he suppose to feel? Pushed aside? Replaced? Not worth to much to you, if you'd be willing to just jump on his friend as ... (read in full...)
How can my husband say he loves me when he is seeing someone else?
Q. Here's my situation. I have been married for 13 yrs. Three out of these years my husband and I have been apart. He rented a house but still comes here and sleep at times. We have four kids. When I asked him where are we going with our lives he ...
A. 18 May 2012: I'd recommend divorce. Do you really feel that low about yourself that you would even consider waiting while he's out screwing someone else, and giving you a run around? He says you can file...so do it. The reason he said he won't and that you can ... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 18 May 2012: Do you love her? Is your experience with her now, or in the past? You are making a choice to let her past affect your present. It's a choice. It's yours and really has nothing to do with her, other than it will end up causing conflict, and can ... (read in full...)
After looking on his phone and on Facebook I'm suspicious about him and this girl he used to hook up with, should I confront him?
Q. My boyfriend and I got in our first fight after 5 months of dating and now 4 months of being boyfriend/girlfriend.. not so bad for just having our first fight. It was a HUGE fight and I won't go into details because it will take a very long time to ...
A. 26 April 2012: The problem with cell phones and social network sites is that they allow for privacy. It's okay to want privacy, but when you're with someone, the book of who you are needs to be more open than it would be with someone outside that relationship. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend drunk texting/sexting a girl he slept with. Need advice!
Q. My boyfriend keeps texting a girl that he slept with way before we started dating, but he only texts her when he is drunk. Sometimes it's sexting and then just being friendly. It really bothers me, because of things that his mates tell me about her ...
A. 26 April 2012: If he is your boyfriend then it is inappropriate for him to sext another girl, period! It doesn't matter if he's drunk or not. If he knows that drinking increases his desire to be "emotionally" or "physically" unfaithful to you, then he needs to ... (read in full...)
Should I say happy birthday to my ex?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We had a long distance relationship and dated for about 2 months, but we've been friends for almost 2 years. The break up was weird and about a week ago we had a huge fight (I broke the no ...
A. 17 April 2012: Was the no contact order issued by the police or by a court? If so, it'd be breaking it by wishing him happy birthday as well. ... (read in full...)
I told my creepy co-worker to back off, now he has should I give him his stuff back?
Q. I posted a question on here about a creepy security guard who is six years older than me (he's 26-I'm freshly 20) and constantly following me around, staring at me while standing over the front desk (I work in a museum) and always wanting to walk me ...
A. 17 April 2012: You consider him creepy, but you have accepted gifts from him, and added him as a friend on your Facebook?
I think their is more to this story than what you're telling, because. 1. If is was creepy, throughout, someone with intelligence would no... (read in full...)
My jealousy of other women is going to ruin our relationship!
Q. Ok the first thing Im going to point out and admit is that Im very insecure. I dont need to be told this because I know, and need to work on it. My problem is my insecurities. I dont like my boyfriend looking at ANY other females. I found some pic...
A. 17 April 2012: You have to realize it's your issue, not his. You're the one who is comparing yourself to these other girls. It has nothing to do with how he sees you. There are a lot of guys who do not go for girls with big boobs. He's saying your body is perfect ... (read in full...)
Husband accusing me of cheating when he had said we were seperated and could do what we wanted!
Q. My husband has cheated numerous times during our marriage. Most recently I became suspicious and recorded a female voice in the house while I was at work. He will not admit to having a woman in the house but he admits to previous activities. I ...
A. 17 April 2012: Technically not, but emotionally it is because when you were naked with these other guys, and when he did what he did, you were emotionally attached to one another. It doesn't matter if he said you two could do whatever, because in doing so it can ... (read in full...)
25 year old friend of mine having sex with a 16 year old, is this wrong?
Q. Short question for you all. A male friend of mine is 25.He is dating a 16-year old girl,and they are having sex. I can't help but think it's wrong.Am I totally out of line??...
A. 16 April 2012: According to your laws, it's legal. With that being said...let's ask this question. If she was not having sex with him, would she with someone else? If so, the only difference would be who's thingy is going into her. If they are seeking a ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think I'm not attractive and no guy could like me
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a little something on my mind, and just wanted to know if you had some advice. So I was at a party last night, and hooked up with a guy that goes to my school, and it didn't mean anything to me. We ...
A. 16 April 2012: Stop accepting these negative thoughts. You are becoming worried what others think. In doing so you are judging your self worth by the view of others. There is reason why it's called self-worth, because it's how you view yourself. If you determine ... (read in full...)
Is it still cheating if I was with a girl not a guy?
Q. hey guys..so last nite i had friends over..two girls and a guy..we had some vodka and ended up drunk..this girl and guy left about 2am..and i was left with the other girl..we went inside the house and had sex..it was my first wit a girl.she is ...
A. 16 April 2012: Sex is sex, it's cheating... If you can't tell him, my recommendation would be that you end the relationship and let him go. It's selfish to say you can have sex with a girl, keeping this from your boyfriend as if nothing happened. In doing so, your ... (read in full...)
Why do these woman believe that a man is seriously in love with them so soon after meeting them?
Q. What does it say for a man who professes his undying love for a woman he has just started dating. In my opinion, there is something wrong with this person if he continues to move on from one woman to another claiming he ia in love with them and ...
A. 16 April 2012: People do not understand what love is...so many falsehoods are created to provide the illusion that it is love, when it's just infatuation, or lust. Until people begin to understand who they are, they can't understand what love is and what it isn't. ... (read in full...)
This girl I work with is cheating on her fiance! Should I tell him or stay out of it?
Q. Should I say something? Or say out of it? There is a girl Ive worked with at work that I got to know very well. Ive even met her fiance about four or five times when he stops over at are work to pick her up which they will be getting married ...
A. 11 April 2012: I would bring up to her seeing photo's. I would tell the guy who showed them to you that you don't appreciate being shown photo's of them or her while they are together. It's rude and disrespectful.
As far as telling the fiance...that's up to yo... (read in full...)
Have I missed out by not having sexual experiences with any guy other than my boyfriend?
Q. I lost my virginity a bit later than most and have been with that boy ever since which is four years. I can see myself marrying him one day but I have one problem. He's slept with other girls before me and I feel a bit weird thinking I could marry ...
A. 10 April 2012: No you have not missed out. People think they need all this sexual experience, with multiple people, that's not true. Let me put it this way... I have a penis and I assume your boyfriend does as well? (or their may be other questions you need to be ... (read in full...)
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