I am worried about first time sex
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while now, but have yet to have sex. It seems as though we are getting closer to us both being ready to take things to the next level. Unfortunately for me, I'm not sure how that will go...
A. 27 April 2013: It probably won't feel amazing for a while, it takes time to get to know someone sexually and to learn to enjoy sex. Don't worry about what you say or do, as long as you trust each other and take things slowly it will be fine. Your boyfriend knows ... (read in full...)
Where is my marriage ending? Unhappily ever after?
Q. I'm unhappily married to a man more than twice my age approaching his 70s. While we dated, I knew he was not the right person for me. I however admired his maturity and intelligence. I was at downnest point with no money, career and basically messed ...
A. 26 April 2013: You two shouldn't be together. I don't see what you get out of the marriage other than financial stability.
Relationships should be about love and companionship. It sounds like you didnt take time to get to know each other properly before you marr... (read in full...)
Should I seek counselling let go and forgive, or Should I leave and not bother trying to fix this?
Q. Everytime my boyfriend and I have a huge argument I would leave for a night to go to my parents house to cool off or to go and speak to them and ask advice. When my boyfriend and I argue, we stay mad, irritated, etc., at least a whole day/night. So ...
A. 26 April 2013: I think messaging other women is pretty unacceptable. Does he meet up with them? Why do you go back?
Counselling can help two people communicate better with each other but it can't fix a relationship that doesn't work. ... (read in full...)
When did the term "nice guy" start to have a negative meaning?
Q. Quite often, that term is usually not viewed as a compliment (at least amongst many guys). Has this always had a dual meaning?...
A. 26 April 2013: That's an interesting question... When I use the term nice guy it's normally 'he's a nice guy but...' He's nice but he's not great. There's something you don't like enough about them.... (read in full...)
I'm hurt that my boyfriend didn't get me anything for my birthday
Q. I am with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am happy being with him. The thing is...he didn't give me anything for my birthday. He simply said "happy birthday babe." We are in a long distance relationship but I came home for my birthday....I was ...
A. 26 April 2013: He should have bought you something. As you say it could have just been a card so it's not about money it's about showing he cares. I couldn't imagine not giving a friend a card/present and definitly not someone you are in a relationship with.... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend need to get a life? Or do I? Not sure I can continue to support my disabled Bf
Q. Well thanks for take the time to read this,, Ok, so I've been with this girl for over 2 years now, and I feel like I'm being held back,,, like I have to watch all opportunities pass by, I work Monday - Friday and occasional put in 2...
A. 25 April 2013: I think you both have some serious issues that are going to take more than counselling to sort out. You need to get your life back in order, what you have described here is no life at all. Work out what you want then set yourself small achievable ... (read in full...)
Married 19 years and my wife has never had an interest in sex. Why does she not like sex?
Q. Hi, I, too, have the common (and perhaps the oldest) question: Why doesn't my wife like sex? I have been married for 19 years. I've been very successful, we've traveled, and we even purchased our dream house and live a comfortable life. 19 ...
A. 25 April 2013: If you didnt have a sex life before you got married why the hell did you think it would kick in when you got married?!? If she just isn't a sexual person no amount of counselling is going to change that. What was her sex life like before she met ... (read in full...)
I don't want to break up. What can I do? She wants to tell everyone we are dating and I am not there yet.
Q. I am in a very complicated situation. I've been dating this girl for a couples of months now. I had never dated a women before and before I met her I always considered myself straight 100%. I don't like women, I just like her. I have actuall...
A. 25 April 2013: You need to explain to her clearly and openly why you aren't ready to come out as gay. This is very personal to you and she can't rush you. But from her point of view she doesn't want to be used while you figure out your sexuality. Are you really ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and b/f has a large penis. Will sex hurt?
Q. My boyfriend has a large penis. I want to satisfy him. I am a virgin. will it hurt ?...
A. 25 April 2013: It might do but only for the first few times. Your vaginia is designed for sex and will adapt itself in time. Don't worry, relax.... (read in full...)
I don't want to move into my guy's "boy apartment"! How do I tell him?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over 3 years, i am just finishing my final year of studying, we have had to go long distance for a couple of months whilst i complete. after i finish uni he wants me to move into his place, i miss hi...
A. 25 April 2013: Maybe tell him your fears as described in your post but be willing to compromise - ask him to sign a 6 month lease so you will both live there in the short term but start looking for places together. You can't blame him for liking his apartment so ... (read in full...)
Which cheater is worse? I want your opinion of the women in these scenarios.
Q. i was just having a discussion with someone and i was wondering what you guys think of these 2 situations. my question is regarding the females of these situations. Scenario A: a couple (Tom and Lisa) has been together for 1.5 month. the girl,...
A. 24 April 2013: Cheating doesn't make you a bad person it's just evidence that a relationship isn't working and there is often fault on both sides. Women rarely cheat for sex it is normally because they are not happy in there current relationship.... (read in full...)
I found a sex toy in my boyfriend's room.
Q. Hi, Today I visited my bf in his house. We don't live together yet. It was a little mess, so I started to clean his place a little. Then I founf this, a sex toy, quite like a simple hole cup. Maybe it was there before, I just didn't noticed? ...
A. 24 April 2013: Why are you worried? Of course he is going to have sexual urges! Maybe it is time you two had sex, you can't wait for ever!... (read in full...)
Girlfriend makes me wash my hands after touching my penis because she's afraid of getting pregnant. Could it happen like that?
Q. hi all. i have a big question to ask. my girlfriend and i fool around, as in oral sex. she is afraid while im giving her pleasure with my finger that sometimes i have to readjust my erection and she makes me go wash my hands because she is afraid ...
A. 24 April 2013: It's very unlikely but technically possible.... (read in full...)
Hubby has no job and exchanges sexual pictures with girls online. Help?
Q. Ok im not sure what way to turn... i can really go to my friends like i want too because i dont want them to judge.... but all ive done is cry today... i been with my husband for 15 years off and on but only been married 4 months... we have 5 lil ...
A. 21 April 2013: You need to sit down and really talk to him. so he isn't satisfied with his sex life - that's pretty common of married men with kids - you are looking after 5 kids, working etc - I expect sex isn't always your top priority. But unfortunately you ... (read in full...)
I want this to be more than just "One Night Stand". What should I do guys to make this work?
Q. Dear All So here it goes, I have a colleague at my work place that I truly am attracted to him and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him. He lately been flirting with me sexually, his been touching my waist when he has the ...
A. 21 April 2013: It will only be a one night stand if you have sex with him. It's hard to give advice on this without knowing what he is thinking! But don't do anything sexual, a kiss can't hurt though... Maybe less sexual flirting and try to initiate some deeper ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying to me? He said I was accusing him of lying and then he gave me a sad look.
Q. Back in January, I remember I was at home and my boyfriend hadn't responded to my texts for over two hours. He finally texted me back, saying he was in his aunties house visiting them. I thought it was so odd, for him to visit relatives as it is so...
A. 21 April 2013: You are sure he wouldn't cheat? Then maybe he is only lying because he was with a friend or something unimportant. People do lie, it doesn't make them a bad person. It depends if its an important lie, only you know that, but I would be tempted to ... (read in full...)
Should I give up everything, and move interstate to be with my boyfriend? It would mean giving up my own home, which I purchased before I met him.
Q. I have been with my BF for 4 years. We are each in our late 20's/early 30s. I have my own house. He still lives at home. He was studying which is why he stayed there, but he could have moved out by now! (has it too good!). A big concern for me ...
A. 21 April 2013: I think if you are having major doubts (which are fair enough - building/owning your own place IS a big achievement) then don't rush into anything. Let him move, if he's worth it you will stay together and when it feels right you can move out to be ... (read in full...)
My girl who used to have a sex addiction, now thinks sex is dirty and won't be intimate with me. What can I do?
Q. Recently, my GF admitted she had a past sexual addiction. I was not totally unaware of this, but recently we've been having our own tension when it comes to sex. She now views sex as "dirty." She now is not capable of being intimate with me...
A. 21 April 2013: If she won't have sex with you now she definitely won't after you get married! She possibly needs some kind of therapy to work on these issues. But if she has decided sex is not for her then you need to respect that. Either agree to a life without, ... (read in full...)
What is seeing a psychiatrist like?
Q. Hey all. I don't want to sit here and write a sob story but throughout my entire life (I am 18 right now) I have been through some really bad things. Not only am I not over the things that have happened in my past, but even right now in my life I am ...
A. 21 April 2013: A psychiatrist normally monitors your medication, they will talk to you as well but as they are doctors they are paid a lot more so you don't get much of their time. A counsellor is much like you would expect - talking therapy, you can work through ... (read in full...)
He really has ruined this girl emotionally. What can I do please I don't want to not be with her, why wont she let me in! Any advice would be helpful?
Q. I've been dating this girl for the past few weeks, not long I know but I like her so much and the more I get to know her, I'm sure of it already I want to be with her as my girlfriend. But last night I was left crushed at what she told me, that I'm ...
A. 21 April 2013: She did the right thing ending it, she obviously needs time to sort things out herself. She does not need you to rescue her. The only way she will truly feel secure is to believe in herself. When she is ready to date you two can get together, please ... (read in full...)
Did my panicking ruin my relationship for good?
Q. Hi! My boyfriend and I broke up after two and a half years together at the end of January because of my over the top overreacting and how I handle things sometimes. It started out as a break but I panicked and it turned into a break up. I kept...
A. 20 April 2013: Clearly this relationship is over. I don't think you are crazy though, you have low self esteem at the moment and that with the recent events can cause you to exhibit some extreme and abnormal characteristics. You need to delete his number and ... (read in full...)
Family issues: I am so tired of having to apologize for something I didn't do. What are my options?
Q. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips or ways to deal with a person who feels like they are always right. My mom gets super upset when she feels that we are "missing the point entirely" and that she is always the one who gets blamed when she...
A. 19 April 2013: If the things you are blaming her for are that bad then it doesn't matter whether she admits her guilt or not. If she isn't sorry and won't apologise then you need her to see how much what she has done has hurt you. Try and sit down and talk about ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and my BF says its over, is this a patern as he did teh same in the first pregnancy!
Q. Hi everyone, i've been in a relationship with my partner for two and a half years now. we have a one year old together. I am now 7 months through my second pregnancy. However on monday i was shopping with him and went to hold his hand and he stopped ...
A. 19 April 2013: We need more info here. Something must have happened, he wouldn't just have changed his Facebook status without there being any warning signs... Was he growing distant? Did you argue? Anything change?... (read in full...)
Sexually charged BF after a fight?
Q. hello, After my boyfriend and I have an argument and sort things out, he tends to ask for a lot of sexual attention. why does he do this? Thank you....
A. 19 April 2013: Stress relief ... (read in full...)
Family issues: I am so tired of having to apologize for something I didn't do. What are my options?
Q. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips or ways to deal with a person who feels like they are always right. My mom gets super upset when she feels that we are "missing the point entirely" and that she is always the one who gets blamed when she...
A. 19 April 2013: What kind of things are you blaming your mum for? She is your mother so you so have to give her some respect. Maybe this is just the way she is and you just need to accept her for it. We can't choose our parents can we?!... (read in full...)
Girlfriend accepted an offer to go for a drink with another guy
Q. Hi Basically, my girlfriend works and there is a shop she visits everyday on her breaks. A new guy has been working there for a while till the end of the month and she was telling me there is a little flirting when she sees him. Anyway, one rand...
A. 19 April 2013: I would imagine she was just being friendly. Men and women spend time together all the time doesn't mean anything is going on. If she is going to leave you she will, nothing you can do and life will go on. But to be honest it sounds like you are ... (read in full...)
Broken hearted over a truly nice guy who backed way off by overhanging things on his own without talking to me
Q. I started dating a man i have liked for years, about 3 months ago. He knew I had kids and my age (43) when we started dating. We live about an hour away, don't see each other alot, but texted every day. Things have been great, he's said i am ...
A. 19 April 2013: He clearly wants his own kids so the question is do you want to have more children? (It is possible in your 49's!) if the answer is no then walk away and let this man meet someone who can give him what he wants. He may love your children when he ... (read in full...)
Why, if we have no contact, does my BF show up as number one in my "people you know" on my FB? Does it mean that my ex-Boyfriend has been recently viewing my profile?
Q. Why is my ex-boyfriend consistently the number one person in my "people you may know" on Facebook? i haven't viewed his profile in a long time, and recently he has been the top person on the list every time I log on. We've never been facebook fr...
A. 19 April 2013: I don't think people come up more because they have viewed your profile think its just because you have mutual friends. Just ignore it, who is Facebook to tell you who you should or shouldn't be friends with!... (read in full...)
Why aren't Christian guys ever interested in me?
Q. I'm a second-year student at university and I converted to Christianity in my first year here. I've never really been the type to "sleep around" and don't want sex before marriage, and I'd prefer dating someone who shared my religious beliefs, too, ...
A. 19 April 2013: Maybe you aren't really as Christian as you want to be therefore maybe Christian boys aren't for you. If you believe in science and aren't against the things that the church is then why do you want to go out with someone who has these beliefs. Being ... (read in full...)
Don't have a boyfriend and it's depressing me
Q. I've never had one my entire life. I've always been very ambitious and hard-working, and I have high standards regarding guys, but the type of guys I fall for always seem to have girlfriends or just aren't interested in me. They're also really rare ...
A. 19 April 2013: Just get out there and meet new people, they may only be come friends but one day you will meet the right one.
Your first boyfriend is unlikely to be your last but it is important as you need to date different people to find yourself and work out ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed. I had an abortion 2 years ago and still haven't gotten over it
Q. Two years ago I had an abortion. I don't agree with abortions, and I didn't want to at the time but my parents wanted me to and my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with my friend. I really regret what I did, there isn't a day that goes by ...
A. 19 April 2013: Yes your gp can refer you for counselling or give you antidepressants, or both. It's all free so a good place to start.
You could also approach a woman's organisation/charity - type it into google to find out what's out there. Lots of charities spec... (read in full...)
Has taking the hormone balancing pills done this to me? Have I gradually killed my sex drive this way?
Q. This isn't a relationship problem, but I'm curious about it anyway. Back when I was 18, I started taking a women's hormone balancer. I did this because I always felt I had more body hair than I should, my chest was underdeveloped, and I had an ...
A. 19 April 2013: I would stop taking them. It's hard to tell what's in them from what you have said but obviously anything that affects your hormones can affect your sex drive, periods, mood swings, fertility. Having excess hair is perfectly normal that's why there ... (read in full...)
Experimenting SEX, and I am Virgin
Q. Okay, I'm 13 and I'm a girl and my girlfriend is 15 she tells me she wants me to get a toung ring so I can eat her out . But were BOTH virgins nd I feel that I should finger her first befor I eat her out but I don't know how to tell her or know if ...
A. 18 April 2013: I think at 13 you definitely need to take it very slow and at a pace you feel comfortable with. Saying no to your girlfriend will be hard but it is better than how you will feel if you go too far too quickly. ... (read in full...)
Three communicable diseases hold me back from dating
Q. Ok so i have a dilemma. Im 29 and consider myself good looking n a great catch for someone but i have hep c from past drug use n i also have mrsa that sometimes reoccurs mildly and my ex gf cheated on me 3 years ago n got hpv n than gave it to me so ...
A. 18 April 2013: It is early days. They normally say you should wait 2 years from rehab before you get into a relationship. Why not use this time to get hep c treatment, with all the new drug trials out there it can be as short as 3 months! Sort your health out get ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he thinks he doesn't make me happy
Q. My ex and I were together just over a year, we then had a few difficulties and spilt for about a month, we had time apart to think, do our own thing etc. We then got back together, made sure things were sorted, that we wern't making the same ...
A. 17 April 2013: You could try and find out the real reason he wanted to end it, as previous posters said he just gave you a line there. But ultimately if he doesn't want to be with you then there is nothing you can do about it. Get out there and look like you are ... (read in full...)
How stand by my decisions, without feeling like I have to be a certain way, to have friends?
Q. I have decided to make some changes in my life such as stopping drinking and trying to love myself more so I dont get involved with losers which just leads to getting used and abused. My concern is that I won't know how to communicate with the peop...
A. 14 April 2013: You may need to find other friends, or spend more time with others. No one is saying these are bad people but you need to do what is best for you. ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is on the brink. How can I understand my husband and his actions?
Q. A year and a half ago I would have said I had the best marriage ever. Three great kids, a devoted husband and good father for our kids. So much so much can change so quickly. It started with a move. Husband took a job transfer and the...
A. 14 April 2013: Sounds like a typical mid life crisis. My friends and I (who all work in similar professions with people) were discussing this recently, and whether it is linked to a reduction in testosterone. Best advice is to google midlife crisis and follow the ... (read in full...)
Why do girls like guys with attitude? Why can't they admit they don't like swet guys?
Q. I’m in a relationship with my current girlfriend for the last 14 months. Before that, I was in relationship twice : for two years and one year respectively and I was dumped because I was too sweet and loveable boyfriend. Before entered into...
A. 14 April 2013: What you are doing now is treating her badly, reducing her self esteem, making her feel worthless. She may stay with you but only because she feels too insecure to leave. The previous girl just probably wasn't that into you. The thing about men who ... (read in full...)
Her mother caught her doing a hand job on me and I had to leave.
Q. My girlfriend and I were at her house we were cooling about and she was giving me a hand job her parents are strict and against us doing anything however, while she was giving me a hand job her mother saw and called josie out of the room said that I ...
A. 14 April 2013: You could apologise, make it clear that you respect them and their daughter and that it was a one off mistake. Also be the model boyfriend, ie good manners, respectful, always home on time etc. parents worry about their daughters, they are hard to ... (read in full...)
Slept with him before I discovered he was in a LDR
Q. My problem is that I slept with a guy a few times before he told me he has been in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He keeps telling me he really likes me though. The problem is I really like him too. I know I wouldn't ever be able to ...
A. 14 April 2013: The only way to lose feelings for him is to keep your distance and to focus on the negatives about a relationship with him. He lied to you, he is in a relationship with someone else, he lied to her and he is a cheat. I'm sure he can come across as ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my boyfriends father!
Q. I'm 15 years old about to be 16 and I used to date this boy that is now 19. We broke up because he wasn't in a stable environment at the moment. We still remain extremely good friends, though. We talk almost everyday. Now, I don't know what has ...
A. 14 April 2013: An explanation as to why you are feeling this way? Well he is like your boyfriend who you were attracted to and had feelings for yet he is more mature and experienced. Perfectly natural to feel this way. I could suggest you have father issues, but ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend need to get a life? Or do I? Not sure I can continue to support my disabled Bf
Q. Well thanks for take the time to read this,, Ok, so I've been with this girl for over 2 years now, and I feel like I'm being held back,,, like I have to watch all opportunities pass by, I work Monday - Friday and occasional put in 2...
A. 17 March 2013: This is a complicated story with a lot going on. You haven't really explained why you were homeless and living in a car, that sounds fairly important to the story as it appears you would have been fairly vulnerable and needy yourself. You are c... (read in full...)
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