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| | purple1234's profile:I live in Australia and like most people, I've had my share of relationship problems and I've made my own share of mistakes. I'm here to hopefully help others out and give friendly advice when I can, I'm not a judgemental person, everyone makes mistakes and everyone is different. Hope my advice helps. :) |
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Do I choose romance, compatability... or neither?
Q. There's this one girl, and she and I are so compatible that you'd think we were made for each other. We typically have urges to watch, eat, and do the same things at the same time. When we need to work as a team, we're like a well-oiled machine... ...
A. 24 July 2008: its true what you wrote romance does fade a bit in time, but u can work at it,as long as you still love yr g/f - if you dont love her then maybe move on, that would be fairer to you both. Maybe you can try different things to get the spark ... (read in full...)
Being a lesbian is my worst nightmare so how do I prevent it?!
Q. So, I'm 17 years old and I'm pretty certain I'm a lesbian. When I was 12 I realised I was bi-sexual, but when I was 16 my feelings for men gradually grew distant. I wasn't happy about being bi-sexual, but I dealt with it, I even came out to ...
A. 24 July 2008: Sorry you are feeling unhappy but the most important thing is happy with yrself - loathing yourself for yr feelings yu will only make yrself more unhappy. You are an OK person who deserves to be happy in your life,like snyone els,e whether ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of the way my sister and her daughter treat my daughter.
Q. I had my sister's daughter, Kate, spend the night with my daughter, Sam. The next day we went to play at my mom's where another sister lives with her children. While I was outside with my daughter, Sam, my sister made arrangements that Kate would ...
A. 24 July 2008: I think distanceing yrself is good - it sounds like yr sisters child is maybe a little spoilt and her mother only thinks of her and not yr child at all- this child shouldnt be bullying yr daughter and I would definitely talk to yr sister about this ... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual and I need to know how to tell my parents.
Q. Im for sure for sure bisexual and I need to know should I tell my parents about it,they tend to be extreemly closed minded and Im not sure they will understand. My family is going through crisis after crisis and im not sure wether I...
A. 23 July 2008: You must be feeling very strssed - but I think it might be better to wait a couple of years, like you said -you dont need to tell them just yet, I would maybe wait a bit, they might not be ready to hear it at the moment - esp if yr family are ... (read in full...)
He claims our relationship meant nothing to him and now I'm afraid I'll take out my anger on a nice guy!
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me one-two months ago for many reasons. He was very very much in love with me for a very long time before we started dating (about 8 years), treated me like gold (until the break up) and just basically smothered me with ...
A. 23 July 2008: sorry you are feeling crap- its hard to forget about yr bad ex b.f that screwed around on you and its totally understandable that u are angry!
but.. maybe you need to try and see that this new guy isnt yr ex, he is a different person and not ... (read in full...)
I'd trade the world for her but how do I ask her out?
Q. Alright guys this is the situation im in right now. I met the most beautiful girl i've ever seen in my life about 11 months ago, we become real close friends, we talked, went out, etc.... while the 11 months she told me about her ex-boyfriend..at ...
A. 23 July 2008: if the two of you are already drifting away because she knows how oyu feel then she might only want to be freinds or be unsure of how she feels- i think that Being honest with her might be better or you will torture yrself by being around her and ... (read in full...)
She says she's not gay but she holds me and kisses me. Is she scared to come out?
Q. ok im a lesbian and i've been for three years. so i know like how things go and what not. but i have a bestfriend who like claims she's not gay. but when it comes to me and her being together just chillin'. she holds me and kisses me and what not. ...
A. 23 July 2008: Its hard when you fall for a friend - She might be scared to come out possibly - I think that maybe honesty is better with her as she may not be upfront with you if she is scared,so you have might need to talk to her, maybe tell her that shes a ... (read in full...)
Are we both playing hard to get or am I being dilusional?
Q. I had been dating a guy for a few months and at first things were absolutely perfect. After a few months of dating we had our first arguement. After that he became distant towards me and I distanced myself even more. After a couple of weeks of ...
A. 22 July 2008: He might be a jerk or playing hard to get, he might not be sure of what he wants, or yes like u wrote he may have changed his mind after the arguement, which isnt fair - everyone agrues! if this is the case he isnt worth it anyway - you will be ... (read in full...)
Should I leave her alone now that she is free from my ignorance?
Q. My ex girlfriend of almost five years and I just recently broke up. We had a rocky relationship, that was mostly due to my taking her for granted. I always had a problem telling her that "I love you", i don't know why. I truly do love her, and ...
A. 22 July 2008: if yr r/ship was rocky maybe at the moment its better for you both that u just remain friends, its great if you can remain friends, esp if u are living together. - she needs time out to herself and so do you.
have u told her what u w... (read in full...)
When will my shy boyfriend ever kiss me?
Q. Im a 14 year old girl and i have been going out with my boyfriend for exactly a month. the problem is he is really shy. he tells me he wants to kiss me but any time we have a chance he doesn't. we went to the movies last we and kissed me on the head ...
A. 22 July 2008: he sounds nervous and probably just wants to make a good impression on you - and wants to get it right when he does kiss you - but you can make the first move - agree with other poster it is 2008, why dont you kiss him first?at the right moment ... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend has forgotten me.
Q. I'm heartbroken because I feel like my best friend has abandoned me. Why do friends forget about each other sometimes? Is there something wrong with me? My best friend and I are both in different countries and have really busy lives, and I don't ...
A. 22 July 2008: sorry u are feeling bad - its very hard when friends do this - ive been there and you feel tho you mean nothing to them and wonder if its something you have done wrong, what u have said, and will they contact you again? if he is yr best friend ... (read in full...)
We have trouble communicating, help!
Q. In met this guy who I fell in love with or at least I think I did. There was a communication barrier there but I think it's because we were both so shy and nervous of each other because we liked each other so much.He is a devoted dad to his child ...
A. 21 July 2008: You must be feeling a bit confused - but when two nervous ppl are together - its easy to let the nerves get in the way, noone makes the first move, noone calls each other and its easy to lose contact - you have a right to be hurt,he could have ... (read in full...)
I hurt one of my friends badly, what do I do?
Q. My friend Hannah (not her real name) lost her Dad (he was 42) in a car accident and she been annoying me ever since it happen. One day Hannah wining about her Dad and I lost it (didnt mean to) and told her shes being obsessed with him and needs to ...
A. 21 July 2008: If you are really sorry and you mean it and you do regret what u said then you need to apologise yrself - be brave dont let anyone else do it for you - thats the easy way out - speak to her yrself. - you did hurt her and you were insensitive, shes ... (read in full...)
I feel like he takes me for granted! Help!
Q. I'm extremely confused about my relationship. I have been with him for over 3 years now. I feel like he takes me for granted every six months or so. We have a row and then things better for a while but then the cycle continues. My boyfriend is a ...
A. 21 July 2008: sounds like it might be better to move on from this guy - i know u really love him but - he sounds like he really isnt sure of what he wants and you dont come near the top of his list - he isnt really working at this r.ship as much as yu are - ... (read in full...)
Is he just dating me so he can say he has a girlfriend?
Q. Ok ... i have been goin out with my boyfriend for almost 2months now and im still not sure if he actually likes me or if he is just goin out with me so he can tell people he's got a girlfriend, whenever im with him he's so sweet and makes me feel ...
A. 21 July 2008: maybe to impress his freinds or.. maybe he is embarassed to let you know he really likes u in front of them - guys like to impress their friends, and looking good around them is important, this might mean playing hard to get in front of them. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to leave everything behind and start a new life?
Q. hi i have a very honest question to ask you and would like some honest opinions! i am a 21 year old girl, quite pretty with a pleasant,gentle and unique personality! at this point in my life i should be brimming with excitement, boys and nig...
A. 21 July 2008: im going to be honest here - im sorry that u are feeling bad about yr life and I understand that yu would like to start fresh and get away from things, find another job, meet ppl, do a course, get a b.f but - running away and changng yr name isnt ... (read in full...)
Is my best friend just assuming I'll go with her to an event? Or should I let a guy take me even though I don't really like him?
Q. My best friend is going to this major event in our city in a weeks time. We always do things together, especially events like this. But the thing is she never invited me. I was out with her the other day at shopping and she ran into lots of her ...
A. 20 July 2008: I wouldnt go with the guy alone unless you do like him - u are right it might give him the wrong idea, (unless there are a few others going with him also, then it isnt so much like a date with him.) She doesnt sound like a very good or ... (read in full...)
World's best boyfriend...
Q. I'm trying to figure this out... my girlfriend keeps telling me that I am the most amazing boyfriend out there, and I say the same about her. We both love each other to death and seriously speak about marriage. However, and maybe this has to deal ...
A. 20 July 2008: how do u make her upset? maybe u should think about it and think about what causes it - maybe you should talk to her and calmly ask her what it is that u have said that has made her upset? maybe let her know u want to try to communicate better ... (read in full...)
Could extreme shyness prevent someone from getting involved in a relationship or is it just the old cliche of having sex on the first date and ruining your chances?
Q. I had a date last weekend with what i would consider the perfect man, the only problem is he was very nervous and shy.. despite this we chatted for hours and the date lasted til the next morning. We arranged another date but the problem is I never ...
A. 20 July 2008: yes shyness definitely does affect someones confidence in sex or r/ships, a shy person will be more nervous and lacking in self confidence,when it comes to dating, talking to ppl and sex, and sometimes more likely to drink to make them more ... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 20 July 2008: soryy u are feeling bad - but dont hurt yrself, its not worth it and it wont help - it will just leave scars that will remind you of why u did it. There is someone for everyone and yes its possible that they might live in another country - but ... (read in full...)
Could extreme shyness prevent someone from getting involved in a relationship or is it just the old cliche of having sex on the first date and ruining your chances?
Q. I had a date last weekend with what i would consider the perfect man, the only problem is he was very nervous and shy.. despite this we chatted for hours and the date lasted til the next morning. We arranged another date but the problem is I never ...
A. 20 July 2008: i agree with the other poster - think he might have been playing you, he certainly wasnt shy if he slept with you, if he was shy then he would have probabaly waited till after the first date. If yu have attempted to contact him and he hasn returned ... (read in full...)
Help with love of my life/best friend and now my ex-girlfriend
Q. HI. I am am really needing some help with letting go of my ex-girlfriend. We were together off and on for over a year. We both have been wounded, just like everyone else, and obviously carry unresolved issues into the relationship. In the 14 months ...
A. 20 July 2008: You cant just blame yrself - that isnt being fair to yrself - relationshps are very much a two way effort, this also includes when things go wrong, both ppl are to blame in part when things dont work out - both ppl mess it up in some way - u ... (read in full...)
I need to meet new people. Where's the best place to meet girls?
Q. i want to get out and meet some new people (particularly girls) but i dont know the places to go or what to do when i get there. any advice?...
A. 19 July 2008: sport or fitness groups, clubs at school?, through friends maybe, yu could try online, i made one of my best friends through a club. smile, be friendly - but dont come on too strong, be interestsd in girls when u meet them, ask them about ... (read in full...)
Is my new girlfriend trying to break up with me, stringing me along or what?
Q. Two weeks ago, I met a girl near my age (25) and we connected right away on the first date that lasted from 7 PM to 1 AM. It included talking, laughing and talking some more. The subsequent dates were also quite intimate and we ended up holding ...
A. 19 July 2008: it sounds like this girl is either really unsure of her feelings or is playing being hot and cold - affectionate, contacting you and liking you one minute,and ignoring yu and making excuses the next - too many mind games here... i think that maybe ... (read in full...)
Please help, I'm lacking the self-confidence for intimacy!
Q. I have recently fallen in love with the most wonderful man ever, he makes me so happy but I'm so nervous about letting him touch me down there. I don't know why I just am. I don't like my body and I am worried about what he will think, he says he ...
A. 19 July 2008: we all have s/thing about our body that we hate but if yr b.f says he likes yr body and wants to touch you then im sure he does! im sure your b/f cares about you and loves you for you! dont worry so much -we all are are who we are - only a small ... (read in full...)
I have never found true love, but why can't a nice man find me?!!
Q. I feel quite "depressed" I have never found true love even at my age. I was married young and it lasted a few years but I loved him and in hindsight not sure if he ever did love me and I have had dates and male friends - bu-rt do you know no one ...
A. 19 July 2008: sorry you are feeling low - I can understand why, but i think it is important too for yu to having a bit more confidence in yrself - confident ppl that are interested in others, smile and are happy are attractive, im sure that u are just as nice ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her I like her or just keep it to myself?...
Q. Okay, so I've been best friends with a girl for nearly a year. I've always been attracted to her, but not until we started to be good friends did I feel a strong attraction. But now she's one of my best friends, and I really like her, but I'm afraid ...
A. 18 July 2008: yes, it is a risk in telling her, she might not feel the same way and things could get weird between you, if you value yr frienship more and dont want to risk yr it, then yes keep it to yrself, but I guess u have to ask yrself how much u are ... (read in full...)
Messy Breakup, what's my next step?
Q. First things first, I know that I am very young, but my boyfriend and I have been through quite a lot in the past 2 years. From getting pregnant and losing the baby, to living together, we had a lot on our plate to work out together. Well basically, ...
A. 18 July 2008: Im sorry you are feeling bad, you have been though lot from what you wrote - but it does sound like you both do need to have a bit of time apart from each other to think and to breath a bit - especially if you spent a lot of time together when ... (read in full...)
My friend got a boyfriend, and I feel like I've been replaced.
Q. I use to be real close friends with this girl we were best friends. A part me likes her. and the other loves her like a family. but recently she got a bf. and it seems she replaced me. adn so me and her drifted apart, mainly because i couldn't...
A. 18 July 2008: You must be feeling bad - and i understand why u are annoyed, its really hard sometimes when yr friend gets a b/f or g/f, you feel tho you dont exist., like yu have been replaced, like yu said, because they are so into their new partner that they ... (read in full...)
I live in a small town, what can I do to pass the time?
Q. I am bord I think I need some one to talk to.But I live in a huge farming valley with only one small town.It gets soooo boring.What should I do to pass time?...
A. 18 July 2008: do u play any sport? maybe throw a ball around, go for a run or a walk, what about reading, listening to music or the internet? are there any kids yr age u can talk to at all ? just a few suggestions? - it must be hard sometimes - have fun
... (read in full...)
Was this break-up my fault?
Q. k, well i'm 17 and i've had some serious depression issues. about a year ago towards the end of sophmore year i had my first serious relationship. I had never kissed a girl, i was completely unexperienced in everything. she was as experienced as she ...
A. 17 July 2008: I dont think that it was anyones fault - it might have been a mixed signal problem between u - maybe she thought that u wanted to kiss her? did you give her any sign that u did want to kiss her, did you like her enough to kiss her? if you were ... (read in full...)
I don't just want him to email me, I'd like him to call sometimes - What can I do?
Q. Hi all, I've been reading this site and there is some EXCELLENT advice here, so thanks to all of you who're willing to dish it out. My question is - I like this guy. We've been casual dating for almost two months, no sex yet since it take...
A. 17 July 2008: of course you dont want an online r/ship! he should be making more of an effort to actually call you in person, he might be busy or maybe he doesnt know that it bothers you. i agree, u dont want to comes across as too needy or wanting him to call ... (read in full...)
Can I stay friends with the woman who hurt me, or do I just move on?
Q. Well my question is am I a fool to remain friends with the girl who hurt me? What happened is we've been close friends for over 2 years, I kinda knew she was attracted to me, we started to have these discussions and one thing led to the other where ...
A. 17 July 2008: moving on is the best thing for yu - i wouldnt bother trying to stay friends with her, it will only hurt you more, focus on yr marriage and try to forget about her, dont contact her - better for you. - it might hurt u now but yu wll forget about ... (read in full...)
I don't understand my husband's uncaring attitude.
Q. My husband is not understanding and have no patience for our kids. I have told him many times that I feel very lonely. He always thinks about himself first and waits for me to fix and correct everything. i very tried of taking care of him and he ...
A. 16 July 2008: Maybe talk to him, tell him calmly how yu feel and that he need to make more effort & also to be nicer to his kids and to you, if he shows no interest in trying or changing his ways then maybe u need to think about whether you should remain in ... (read in full...)
I love my husband, but I still have feelings for a highschool sweetheart. I feel terrible.
Q. I am 26 years old. I have been married for two years, and I have a 1yr old son. Im currently pregnant with me second child. I love my husband, and he's a good man. He works hard, never raises his voice to me, nothing to complain about, and yet I ha...
A. 16 July 2008: Our teenage loves often hold a place in our heart yrs later and it is hard to totally forget them, sometimes we can wonder what if.. or think that we rally love them still, but he is in the past - maybe you may possibly be in love with the ... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed by my girlfriend!. What should I do?
Q. I met my first girlfriend last year. We started dating a few days after we met, which was at a "Relay for Life" event. We dated for around 9 months, with some breakups and other rough spots in between. 2 months later after the breakup I find out...
A. 16 July 2008: I feel sorry for u - yu have a right to be annoyed with her - she has betrayed you and now might be pregnant with some other guys kid! - she doesnt sound like the sort of girl u really need to be with, she has cheated and saying it just happened ... (read in full...)
I think he's into me, but he has a boyfriend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship!
Q. Hi, I am a gay male and I am 18 years old. I have a friend who recently helped me accept myself for who i am. Anyway, me and him have shared some past experiences with each other. Not serious. But since I met him I have been highly attracted to him. ...
A. 15 July 2008: hmm... honesty/being upfront is better but being too serious might scare him off, maybe when yu see him you could start talking about whatever and then say that u think u that you might like him a bit more than a friend but (and this is being ... (read in full...)
Gay, not out yet, and in love with a straight guy, don't want to harm his reputation or, face rejection from my friends, please help??
Q. I am thirteen years old and I am in love with a boy who I am almost positive is not gay. I want him so badly but to get him I would have to come out, which would mean certain rejection from "freinds" I am sure this is not a phase because I have ...
A. 15 July 2008: you are very young to be so sure that u are gay - yes u might be, but it might be a crush too, which happens sometimes and your feelings to guys might change as u get older - if not and u are gay then thats OK - u have the right to be who u are ... (read in full...)
I think he's into me, but he has a boyfriend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship!
Q. Hi, I am a gay male and I am 18 years old. I have a friend who recently helped me accept myself for who i am. Anyway, me and him have shared some past experiences with each other. Not serious. But since I met him I have been highly attracted to him. ...
A. 15 July 2008: he has a b/f so this makes it tough for you unless he breaks it off with him, before dating yu, and from what u wrote he sounds not totally happy in his r/ship. To befair to you, and his b/f he needs to decide what he wants - if he is attracted to ... (read in full...)
Want to do something special for, or with my partner, on a tight budget, any suggestions?
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for advice on special things to do for or with my partner (on a tight budget) just to suprise him. Any ideas? We're both 22 and only realy get to spend nights together as we both study and work through the day....
A. 15 July 2008: what about the traditional romantic dvd and pizza at home? or a picnic in a park somewhere? a special dinner at home, where u both get dressed up and make it a romantic night?
a walk somewhere nice, on the beach or in a nice nature setting? movi... (read in full...)
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