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*olarkite

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How do I know if a guy is flirting? And how do I flirt back?

Q.   i was wondering if anyone can tell me how i can tell if a guy is flirting with me or not as i'm new to the whole dating scene also what should i do if a guy flirts with me? should i flirt back and if so how do iflirt with him? if it's a guy that i ...

A.   18 February 2008: Send him cute notes, call him, ask to hang out, just keep him thinking about you. Pace things, be confident, and in-control but make him make the first move if possible. This will help boost his ego. If you are only going to meet a guy once ... (read in full...)

Do I tell the affair partner's fiancee about his affair with my ex?

Q.   My ex-fiancee cheated on me with one of her male friends for several months. We broke up because she continued to keep in touch with him behind my back even when we were "fixing" the relationship. So this question is more a moral dilemma... The ...

A.   16 February 2008: What sweet revenge! Yeah, I'd just go for it. Send her a telegram or something. ... (read in full...)

He's going way too fast here!!!

Q.   He said to me thinking I was a bit drunk that he can see himself falling in love me with me after only meeting a few times! Should I get out now or get to know him better?...

A.   16 February 2008: haha.. if this lover gets out of hand, just tell him to cool it. i'd say if he's totally obsessive regardless and not just passionate, it's a bad sign that he's too needy, and that you might want to look for other options.... (read in full...)

Am I normal??? How can I overcome this shyness with women?

Q.   I want to know if I'm a normal guy. I'm 26 years old and I don't date at all. Not because I don't want to date, I find woman very attractive, I'm just shy. I have gone on a total of 5 dates my whole life, and have never been on a second date. ...

A.   16 February 2008: I think the key is to just to step outside of your comfort zone, and go for it, whenever possible. There are so many missed opportunities every-day to talk to women and get their phone number and a chance to get some "coffee" with them. The key ... (read in full...)

Do I just go with my boyfriend and leave my dad a note?

Q.   Hi Yesterday, my mom and I got into a fight she was totally wasted and when she gets drinking she's a fighter. I was sleeping for about 15 mins then out of the blue she tries to strangle me in my sleep. I told my boyfriend about this and he told ...

A.   16 February 2008: It sounds like your bf is also moving really fast and in "protect" mode right now. But this can wear off easily and cause problems. I'd suggest you deal with the issue with your parents without too much help from your bf, as strange as this sou... (read in full...)

Do Girls Really Like it When A Boyfriend Writes Them a Poem?

Q.   I have a question for all you good natured girls? If I were to write a poem to a girl telling her that I wish she was mine; that, I would protect her; that, I would hold her in my arms when she is cold; that, I would wipe her tears away when she is ...

A.   16 February 2008: Dear anon, The quality of your poem will depend on how well the writing and delivery are executed. I would say that you should write your poem, and put it in a storage box and save it for your 1yr anniversary with this girl. Too much com... (read in full...)

He works part time and when he has time off he says he needs alone time. All he does is play video games!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for six years we rarely see each other, he works part time and when he has time off he says he needs alone time. All he does is play video games! I don't know what to do. We talk for hours every day on the ...

A.   16 February 2008: Video games are addictive. Sort of like pulling someone away from a hard drug, without all the nasty long-term effects. I would recommend you keep your distance. Tell him, you don't want to talk over the phone anymore, unless he's calling to make ... (read in full...)

I want to have sex and there's this specific guy in mind.

Q.   Here's the thing I want to have sex and there's this specific guy in mind. I told him already and he's cool with it. He's a friend of mine and sexy as ever. But here's the things I don't want a relationship and he has a girlfriend. Is is right for ...

A.   16 February 2008: That doesn't sound so cool. Is she cool with it? If not, you are most likely going to mess up your relationship with your friend if you do it. He will feel guilty afterward and it will taint your relationship with him. He will have to choose a ... (read in full...)

Do you think I could win him over without annoying him??

Q.   I am friends with this guy that I really like. We hang out a lot and he seems to like me as a person. We went out a few times and I told him how I felt, how I wanted to be more than friends with him. He said that he only wants to be friends. Is it ...

A.   16 February 2008: If he said he wants to be friends then that's what he means. Respect his decision. I don't think there is a way around this. It sounds like he values your current friendship a lot, and doesn't see things going much farther than that. Value what ... (read in full...)

Any thoughts on the game he might be playing??

Q.   Hoping someone can help me here as I need it. I dated a guy for a bit last year. I must admit that it was one sided...more on my part. I would not sleep with him as fast as he wanted so he let me go...in a nice way but it was still a blow. Both of ...

A.   16 February 2008: He obviously resents you for still liking him after you didn't sleep with him. Sucks. Best way to play him is to be assertive and not really give a crap about him. He's obviously being a d--k, by flicking around his pen (e.g. penis) around at... (read in full...)

Is this man worth my time?

Q.   I am in a almost 2yr realationship. My partner has taken a 2wk trip with his ex since I have been with him. He shortly after that broke up with me to go back to her. After he tried that for awhile he came back to me, relizing that she was not ...

A.   16 February 2008: Right off the bat, it sounds like this guy is using you for emotional stability. He really doesn't deserve you. If he wants to be with you, he needs to be honest. Otherwise what is the point? Obviously, he has positive attributes, but mak... (read in full...)

I can't tell if my college guy friend likes me more then a friend or not.

Q.   I can't tell if my college guy friend likes me more then a friend or not. We have been friends for a while and have had sort of a flirty relationship, but he was dating another girl and nothing went out of bounds. Recently, he and his girlfriend ...

A.   16 February 2008: Usually the more people like each other, the more insecure they get, and therefore the more risk adverse they are, even though the rewards are so much greater! Both of you really need to grow a pair and go for it, and stop dancing around each othe... (read in full...)

Falling in love with a much younger woman...what to do?

Q.   Hello all. I'm seeking advice on a very heart wrenching problem I'm trying to sort out. I'm a 36 year old man who works with a 23 year old woman. Both her and I are in exclusive dating relationships but not married. I think it's safe to say that ...

A.   16 February 2008: Part of the excitement with this girl might just be due to the fact that it's forbidden play, not only because you are both in relationships but because your little tryst is happening at your work. I would really go with anon here and suggest you ... (read in full...)

Concerned about my penis size and the effects of masturbation!

Q.   I am from Hyderabad , India aged 27 years unmarried guy. I have a problem. I am masturbating since 7 years ago on an average 4 times a week from the age of 21. now i feel my penis became narrow in the base and the penis size is drastically reduc...

A.   8 February 2008: Well, honestly, some male's sexual drives are often stronger when they are 21 than 27. Try cutting back on the masturbation, and see if that helps. It might give you some more drive back, by building up some sexual tension.... (read in full...)

We have had a "so and so" sex life. Her orgasms are not very intense, how can I surprise her?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 4 years, and all through that time, we have had a "so-so" sex life. My main problems are: In order for my wife to have an orgasm, she has to be on top. Now, most of the time, I cannot keep from coming long e...

A.   8 February 2008: There are a few techniques you can use so that your female partner comes once or multiple times, notably before you do. 1. The Masters-Johnson method. This only works with the woman on top. Basically, you have to tell her when you are getting ... (read in full...)

I can't even think of being with another man, please tell me how I can forget my ex!

Q.   he had been my boyfriend for 7 years ,he had been always the one for me,during this 7 years we broke up 2 or 3times and i went for other guys but he was always diffrent so i came back to him,finally we broke up last year ,now i want to forget him ...

A.   8 February 2008: I think the easiest way to forget about him is to think about him. Think about the good times, then think about the bad. Think about why you guys broke up so many times. Think about the "happy ending" of a life you hoped for, and how those ... (read in full...)

Is my virginity a problem?

Q.   Hello,there!i have a question,I have a problem coz im not virgin anymore then he doesn't appreciate it that im still a virgin at my age now...He knows all my past that i have many boyfriends before but i never give up to them of my virginity,i ...

A.   8 February 2008: I think, no matter what, whatever guy you are with should value and be sensitive to what is *important to you*. Especially when it comes to sex, after all sex is very sensitive. It sounds like being a virgin and who you give it to is a part of ... (read in full...)

My gf calls my best friend "hun," is that a form of flirting?

Q.   hey just want to know what you guys think, i just got back, i was away from my gf for a year and 4 months; i was reading some of her msgs and that's when i seen msgs of her calling my friend hun, for example "hun dont worry about it" - would u say ...

A.   8 February 2008: waitresses say hun all the time to their patrons. is that flirting? i doubt it.... (read in full...)

Why am I so scared of SEX!!!

Q.   Hi, I am 20 year old male and it might be funny I had a lot of chances for sex, but I never got the guts to. Here is a bit of background. I am bi and no one in my family knows about it and I am probably more gay than bi but I want a family and chil...

A.   8 February 2008: Honestly, it's normal not to find prostitutes attractive. It sounds like you live in the red light district of town or something. :) I think you just listen to your inner-feelings and not get rushed into sex. You probably want to be honest wit... (read in full...)

...he was watching porn and masturbating, without even asking how I'm feeling!

Q.   My boyfriend and I were having sex when I felt a severe abdominal discomfort and I asked him to stop. After taking a rest for about 5 minutes, he wanted to force himself into me again but my pain was still there so I said I didn't want to do it ...

A.   8 February 2008: What a tool! You are totally justified to feel pissed. ... (read in full...)

Does he just want somebody to talk too or to take it further??

Q.   There is a guy at work who I have started to become friendly with due to a mutual acquaintance. Whilst talking on the phone last week he was feeling sorry for himself with a cold and as we talked he said to me that 'he needed the love of a good ...

A.   8 February 2008: He said, 'I wouldn't mind you coughing if I was lying next to you in bed'???? That's just creepy, I don't know what that means! This guy doesn't have enough confidence to say what he really means.... (read in full...)

I am 12 years old. Is it wrong to think about sex and at times want to do it?

Q.   ok, i am 12 and i find myself very appealing and so do guys but the thing is i am already thinking about sex. I know i am too young but i think about sex constanly and having a baby and just everything about sex. People say i am an addict to it but ...

A.   8 February 2008: No it's not wrong. It's actually pretty natural to start thinking about sex at your age. I started masturbating when I was five! But I didn't first have sex until I was 19. I'm also thinking maybe, you want to be a grow-up or do grown-up... (read in full...)

I am finding it hard to trust my boyfriend and it's killing me...

Q.   I am finding it very hard to trust my boyfriend and it's killing me, he has kissed another girl and then a few weeks later asked the same girl to dance with him when he knew how I felt. I have also found messages he has sent to other girls telling ...

A.   8 February 2008: Unless you two have an "open relationship", this guy's behavior is *not cool*. An "open relationship" is where you are together, but can have other partners as well. Maybe this guy wants an "open relationship" because he's acting like it. You... (read in full...)

How do I get my ex to notice me again?

Q.   I am having a hard time wondering if my ex is still into me. I mean I see him and he flirts a little and he calls once in a blue moon but I don't know. He gives me little signals that want me to think he likes me but I don't know if he does. I ...

A.   8 February 2008: it may sound strange, but next time he's flirting with you, you could take the lead and ask him if he wants to go out and do something like when you were together. if he says no, or asks you why? or something, that leads me to believe he's jus... (read in full...)

Nasty Ex - How do you get over an ex that won't let you go??

Q.   How do you get over an ex that won't let you go?? I have been apart from my ex for just over a year, he dumped me on new years day 2007, we are in a really complicated place, he apparantly doesn't want a relationship, yet he sleeps around with ...

A.   4 February 2008: Cut him off cold-turkey!... (read in full...)

I need a release to move on and forget that I used to allow dogs to lick my intimate area, as I now realise the wrongness of it.

Q.   When I was a young girl in grade school, a handful of times I allowed dogs to lick my private parts. My rationalization for this cannot be given, for I cannot explain today why I did it. I stopped doing it, but it deeply disturbs me that I allowed ...

A.   4 February 2008: Honey, this is not a big deal, and is not wrong in the slightest. I would laugh this off, maybe confide in a close friend, and see what they think! Children are amazingly curious. I did all kinds of weird things when I was a little kid, and ... (read in full...)

I'm clueless as to how to tell if someone is genuinely interested in you as a person or if they are just trying to use you.

Q.   A few months ago I ended a long term relationship. So newly single, I've been meeting new people. There is this one person I am interested in but when I rationally look at his personality and lifestyle, I know that it would be really hard for a ...

A.   4 February 2008: I think if they are interested in you, they will play it cool and be genuinely romantic. They won't try to have sex with you or complain about it until the right moment comes. Most of all a person who is interested in you will *respect* you.... (read in full...)

My bf of 4 years lied to me about his age. How could I trust him again? Should I move on?

Q.   I recently found out that my boyfriend who i have been with for 4 years just lied to me about how old he was. I started getting suspicious about his age only a few months ago when he refused to show me his drivers license, i knew something was up. ...

A.   4 February 2008: Why would someone lie about something like that? Sounds pretty sketchy to me. This guy's a liar, and can't even come clean. Blah!... (read in full...)

What can I do to make my present situation work and stop thinking about my ex?

Q.   I have been married to my loving wife for more than 6 months now and i do not know if i really love her. Before my wife came around i fell in love with a girl and she ended up cheating on me after 2 years of dating. i was so heartbroken and ...

A.   4 February 2008: Well, unless you live in Utah, you are going to have to decide between your wife and your ex, and then commit. It's not easy, but is it really fair to your wife to be married to her and not love her? That's not really what marriage is supposed to ... (read in full...)

I want to be back with my ex but I am unsure if he is in a relationship.

Q.   Me and my ex have been broken up for about 7 months now, but are still like best friends, he has a girlfriend *his ex* (as far as I know.). He invited me over his house, and we had a small glass of alcohol, in which he said he almost kissed m...

A.   3 February 2008: Why can't you ask him about it? Go ahead and ask. Next time things are getting awkward, just ask him, "Are you free buddy, or are you on the hook? If you aren't free, we'll just need to stay friends." ... (read in full...)

I am crazy in love with him despite him treating me so bad.

Q.   Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, like every other relationship we had our ups and down. Two weeks ago we broke; he never gave a real reason why. Desperate and confused I lied to him about being pregnant so he c...

A.   3 February 2008: You are not crazy, but your ex-boyfriend's lack of communication and cruelty is clearly making you crazy. Given how shitty your boyfriend is treating you, I think it was okay what you said. Also his response further confirmed what an asshole he ... (read in full...)

My husband has ED and hasn't taken steps to improve it... and it's killing me!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have 3 children. I know he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me, but he has ED and will not talk about it or try to resolve it. I got him t'to take Viagra and it helped for about a week and that ...

A.   3 February 2008: You guys need to find a good sex therapist! And I think he should be the one finding the therapist! I'm sure he feels bad about ED, but he's dealing with this through some mix of black humor, denial, and emotional detachability (another form of ... (read in full...)

Does he just want somebody to talk too or to take it further??

Q.   There is a guy at work who I have started to become friendly with due to a mutual acquaintance. Whilst talking on the phone last week he was feeling sorry for himself with a cold and as we talked he said to me that 'he needed the love of a good ...

A.   3 February 2008: Who knows? Maybe he's a hopeless romantic, or maybe he was shy and trying to see if you liked him, or maybe there's some other explanation. *Slow down*, and be his friend, and see how things work out. If he starts talking about *specifi... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to pursue a relationship with somebody 1-2 years younger??

Q.   dear cupid, I would like to know is it wrong for a person to go out with someone who is 1-2 years younger than themselves. I recently saw this good looking girl, went over to her found out how old she is and that, she seems to be 1 year younger tha...

A.   3 February 2008: I don't think it's wrong, per se, but depending on the state that you live sex with this girl could be considered "statutory rape." Like for instance, suppose she's 16 and you are 18, in some states this would constitute statutory rape. You c... (read in full...)

My best friend and I are in love, but he does the same things he does with me with another of his friends and I'm jealous! Any advice?

Q.   Me and my best friend are amazingly close, well we are pretty much in love, we are always hugging and holding hands and he has even told me he loves me, i know he means it, and i know i love him too, but the thing that makes me angry is that he has ...

A.   3 February 2008: Why would you want to stop your friend from having fun? Don't you love him? What kind of relationship do you guys have, is he your best friend, your boy friend, are you in an open relationship? You guys are really young. I'd suggest taking it ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for your period to come after Sex?

Q.   Is it normal if after sex, your period comes??? I was just wondering. Thank you very much....

A.   3 February 2008: Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and only took remedial Biology in high school. It is possible that sex (with orgasm) can improve and ease your menstrual cycle. If you are getting cramps after sex without orgasm, it might be you are already in y... (read in full...)

Work is making me very stressed. What can I do about it?

Q.   I'm a 24yr old male, and under alot of stress with work. I've always had lots of hair and strong, and clear skin and as of last year i've noticed my hair taking strain and when i wash my hair i have some hair that stays on the comb, and occasi...

A.   3 February 2008: Stressed Guy, You need to loosen up. Do a risk/reward analysis of quitting your job and taking a break, or at least taking a long vacation. Maybe you need to go to the gym and work out. Also, have lots of sex! Okay, I'm not sure if that las... (read in full...)

Many dating guides suggest that you should talk to random girls to boost your confidance, EVEN if you don't like them. Do girls think this is *wrong* to do?

Q.   Hi, Many dating guides say you should just talk to random girls to boost your confidence even if you don't like them. I was wondering do girls think this is *wrong* to do? Or is it possible that since it's unknowable if in advance if it's ...

A.   3 February 2008: So girls do not mind if you talk to them randomly? How do you not lead someone on when talking and trying to interest them? And if you do lead someone on, how do you "undo" it. I'm afraid that I naturally give off passionate, flirtatious... (read in full...)

22, My mother is ruining my life! What should I do?

Q.   I have one more question for the day/night. Ok. My mother treats me like a 2 year old and I'm actually 22 and she baby-sits me and she won't let me do things like go out with my friends or anything. I have to come home at 10 or before she gets home ...

A.   3 February 2008: I'm sure you must be wanting to set the streets on fire at this point. You have a couple options here: 1. Go to college (in another state) 2. Get a job and find an apartment. 3. Find a supportive friend or relative who will let you crash at th... (read in full...)

What can I do to get my wife to want me?

Q.   Okay, so I've been on here before, seeking help because my wife has (what I consider to be) a low sex drive. Some background...she's 25, I'm 32 and we haven't been married long at all, and we only met a few years ago, but we've never had a heal...

A.   3 February 2008: Hi Anonymous, You sound pretty frustrated. No, you can't go forcing people to have sex with you. You want her to be your whore? This is sounding more and more like a David Lynch movie. Mulholland Drive? Communication, Communication, C... (read in full...)

She is the love of my life, but her ex is in the way

Q.   Last June, I bumped into a girl I once worked with. We never had a relationship at that time - in fact we were both married. A few weeks later, she contacted me saying she was single and miserable (recently broken up from a two-year relatio...

A.   3 February 2008: Well, you probably aren't going to win her over by being desperate, even if she is the love of your life. I would say *back off* and let her sort things out on her own. *Play it cool.* Don't assume that she's going to end up with you just bec... (read in full...)

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