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*inksuze

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*inksuze's profile:

Hey :o) I stumbled on this site quite by accident and very quickly got hooked! I have had what could be called an interesting life, and have gained lots of insight because of this. I'd like to think that this means that I am able to offer balanced advice, and I certainly enjoy trying to help.

My name is Suze and I live in the UK. I am a single parent to 3 children who sometimes drive me round the bend but also make me smile every day. I left work recently to write, and have since had some work published, and am hoping to get more published in the future.

He calls me names, gets really jealous, and slapped my leg really hard...is this an abusive relationship?

Q.   Me and my bf of 2 years were broken up for around 9 months. He broke up with me. DUring that time, things were very dramatic between us. He would get very jealous at any new guy I meet. A couple times we got into heated arguments and he would te...

A.   6 March 2008: No you are not being too sensitive, this is an abusive relationship and you should get out of it straight away. Even without the physical assault on you this relationship was abusive, and the fact that he has used physical violence on you makes it ... (read in full...)

Where should I take her on our date? Should we go alone or bring some friends?

Q.   i like this girl im not to sure how to ask hir out for a date?? if we do go out on a date where should i take her ? should we go alone or with some friends? how can i tell if she likes me? ...

A.   5 March 2008: There's no magical way of finding out if somebody likes you or not, but asking her out will answer that question for you. If she likes you she'll accept. If she does accept it may be a good idea to at first go out with a couple of friends, but it ... (read in full...)

I would love to be more than just friends with her but does she feel the same way?

Q.   I have a friend who I have known now for about 9 months. Gradually over this time, we've become very close. I see her probably 2-3 times a month, mainly at weekends when we go clubbing with all my friends and her friends. Every time we go out...

A.   5 March 2008: I wouldn't necessarily think that her having tried to make another go of it with her ex is a bad thing. It's very easy to blame somebody else for inteferring and thus splitting them up, but really if it was going to work it would have worked with ... (read in full...)

Desperately need advice about my partner's porn watching.

Q.   Hi, I'm so unhappy at the moment. I work full time but my boyfriend works from home. Every day he watches porn, despite at the beginning of our relationship him telling me he doesn't watch videos. Today I went to the shops for one hour and came bac...

A.   5 March 2008: Unfortunately we live in a society that says that it's acceptable for men to use porn (and then makes up excuses for this - ie men are more visual or have higher sex drives). Many women who have a problem with their partners' use of porn are told ... (read in full...)

How do I spot the good ones?

Q.   I am tired of being alone and would like to meet someone already! I'm not necessarily looking for someone to fall in love with right now, but someone to get to know, spend some time with whos actually a decent human being! I was reading a di...

A.   5 March 2008: I believe that in life you get not what you deserve but what you think you deserve. I had a very difficult childhood and when I grew up I had a series of abusive relationships with people who treated me very badly indeed. I would cry and cry about ... (read in full...)

Help me save my 2 year relationship!

Q.   I would very much appreciate any sensible advice that you can offer me, I am at my whits end. My 2 year relasionship has been heading downhill for a year now - I'm only seeking help now after trying to solve the issues myself, after failing that I b...

A.   5 March 2008: You say you'll never leave him, and yet he is clearly not making you happy. You're doing everything you can and yet still things are not changing, and the reason for that is that it isn't you who needs to sort yourself out, it's him. He is ... (read in full...)

Betrayal - from my boyfriend and my sister!

Q.   Okay SO! I dated this guy 2 years ago and we had a rocky relationship but we both seemed to care about each other a lot so we worked through it. At one point during our relationship he was really close with my sister, but I trusted him. Finally, I ...

A.   5 March 2008: This was a terrible betrayal, both by your boyfriend and by your sister. Feelings of anger and hurt are completely natural, and nobody would blame you if you were mad at both of them. However, how mad you feel really depends on how much he still ... (read in full...)

Am I Nuts?

Q.   My wife and I have a male friend (Mark) who's been very close to us for about 4 years. The 3 of us spend a lot of time together, going to the movies, dinner, weekend trips, etc and my wife and I enjoy his company, respect him and appreciate his ...

A.   5 March 2008: No you are definitely not crazy. You are obviously secure in yourself and in a good stable relationship with somebody you love and trust completely. Good for you! Wish there were more like you out there!!... (read in full...)

He is the one with a declining sex drive. Is this normal? How to address it?

Q.   I have a dating/love/life advice question. I am always hearing how men are supposed to have such a raging sex drive, how women are more likely to lose their sex drive in a long-term relationship, how men are more likely to seek sex outside of the ...

A.   5 March 2008: I absolutely believe that it is a myth that men have higher sex drives than women - when this is cited it is usually to excuse bad behaviour "oh he had an affair because he has a high sex drive" or "I have to use porn on my own because my sex drive ... (read in full...)

I would love to be more than just friends with her but does she feel the same way?

Q.   I have a friend who I have known now for about 9 months. Gradually over this time, we've become very close. I see her probably 2-3 times a month, mainly at weekends when we go clubbing with all my friends and her friends. Every time we go out...

A.   5 March 2008: Clearly she likes you, but it's impossible to tell whether that's as a friend or if she's interested in anything more. The only way you're going to find out is by asking her! A year after splitting up with her last boyfriend she should be ready ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to tell my mum I have vaginal thrush...please help.

Q.   I think i have vaginal thrush, i have all the sumptoms. My friends say the main cause is sex, so i dont know how to tell my mum i have it. I want treatment for it but my mum thinks im a virgin. please help :(...

A.   4 March 2008: Sexual contact isn't, in fact, the most common way of getting thrush. The commonest cause is wearing tight trousers or nylon underwear. I get thrush occasionally at around the time of my period. So you don't need to worry about your mother ... (read in full...)

I proposed and he said "no" and now I don't know what to do!

Q.   I'm not sure what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. We don't live together. I proposed to him on the 29/2 and he said no. First he said he wasn't ready yet and needed more time. I don't really believe that and asked what more ...

A.   4 March 2008: How important is marriage and living together to you? And how important is this man to you? I think you need to weigh the two things up so that you can make a considered decision. Which is the most important to you? Being married or being with ... (read in full...)

I have this urge to cheat on my fiance...

Q.   I lived in Georgia for about 2 years, I'm originally from Wisconsin and I have a loving fiance. He's back in Georgia taking care of business. I'm getting urges to but the thing is I want to cheat on him with my first whom I haven't seen in about 4 ...

A.   4 March 2008: Why do you want to cheat on him? Are you not happy with him? Are you in a rut and bored? Do you harbour a secret fantasy of getting back with your first? You need to work out the answers because you cannot cheat on him and hope that things will ... (read in full...)

She initiated our first kiss and soon after that she changed her mind about us having a relationship, why?

Q.   hi my name is steve please help me get my girl back my story starts with my friend she was lonely i was lonely so we started spending a lot of time alone then she asked me if she could put her head on my sholder i sead ok then i cought her gazi...

A.   4 March 2008: She sounds very confused. For a start, she's come out of an abusive relationship and she needs to find herself and work on getting her self-esteem back - abusive relationships always take away your self-esteem and that's why she believes she's ... (read in full...)

Cheating on Internet sites

Q.   How can I stop my boyfriend from going into porn and the chatting sites? He says he loves me but then again his talking dirty to all this women and lying to them. ...

A.   4 March 2008: You can't stop him. You can tell him you don't like doing it and ask him not to, but ultimately you can't stop him. You need to think through whether you can handle him doing this or not. If he's not being physically unfaithful then maybe you ... (read in full...)

How do I speak to this guy?

Q.   Heres the problem.I have no idea how to speak to this guy.I don't want to make him feel like i don't want him around.he's special to me.And im afraid that i'll say something really stupid.i havn't seen him in ages because i'm kind of avoiding him.i ...

A.   4 March 2008: I completely empathise with you, I went for years and years and years not talking to blokes I liked. The problem is that if you don't talk to them you're not going to get very far. You might have done something which showed you liked him ages ago ... (read in full...)

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