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| | phiatiger's profile:I have more life experience than my years give me credit for, lets say i have been through the mill a bit.
I think I can give realistic, no nonsense advise on a wide range of situations especially those I have been through.
I live in the West Midlands, with my partner and 2 children. |
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I've been a faithful girlfriend for years - why am I tempted by this new guy?
Q. Im in a long term relationship and can honestly say Ive never even turned my head at another guy in the 5 years we have been together but recently a guy at work has caught my attention and Im confused. I have only known him since december but he ...
A. 22 July 2008: I believe this may have been mistitled? (if thats a word) The post does not mention being long distance?
I would say that you need to take a step back and look at your current relationship, have you lost interest?, has it run its course or is it... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin? Sorry, but I'm a bit confused!
Q. Hey, Just a few questions regarding sex, sorry if they are a bit vivid, but don't know how else to word it! Basically, I was a virgin before last night, but was in bed with a girl (who wasn't a virgin), and the following happened.. she tossed ...
A. 22 July 2008: If u penetrated her vagina with your penis then this would class as losing your virginity. Men tend to have an easier first time that girls, I believe this may be because most boys have masterbated at some point in their lives before sex, where as ... (read in full...)
I've just found out his passwords - do I sneak a peak at his emails?
Q. I'm having another moral crisis in my relationship, and dont know what to do... I've known my boyfriend for aboutfour years, we've been in a relationship for nearly two. Basically at Christmas last year I saw he had messaged one of his ex girlfrie...
A. 22 July 2008: I completely understand the views here but personally I would look, he shouldn't have anything to hide and Im sure he would do the same if he couldn't trust you. x... (read in full...)
Age difference question.
Q. How old is too old, I'm just friends with this guy, but I think he's really attractive. He's 25 years old and I'm 19, all opinions are appreciated. Would a relationship work out?...
A. 16 July 2008: Hi, I think it would be fair to say that age gaps matter less as you get older. I had a boyfriend 7 years older than me when I was 16 - that was a problem with my parents, as you can imagine.I dont think that your ages would be a problem, you are ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend's sexual history normal?
Q. Hi everyone, hoping someone could help me out a little here. This may seem odd, but I’m too shy to bring this up to any of my friends, for fear of sounding strange. I was never a guy who dated too much, and tended to keep to myself most of the t...
A. 14 July 2008: Sorry to admitt Ive had many more one night stands than that and Im not proud of that but I didnt want any kind of relationship at the time. In this day and age it is not abnormal to have many sexual partners, nor is it strange to have none at all. ... (read in full...)
Sex causes pain for my wife. What should I do?
Q. A few years ago my wife had a vaginal hysterectomy. We have not had intercouse since as it causes her so much pain. I have tried discussing this with her but she pretty much refuses. This has destroyed the intimacy that we once shared. I get the ...
A. 25 June 2008: Has she been to the doctor to discuss the pain? What were the reasons for the procedure? I am just wondering whether as well as some discomfort, she has a mental block not letting her get over it and therefore she has created such a big thing in her ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but I think its failing...any advice?
Q. For the last 4 months I have been in a relationship however in the last 2months my girlfriend (And best friend) has been "Off" with me, certain things have been buging me, for example she says things like "I hate love" and "I don't trust anyone" ...
A. 20 June 2008: Have you got anything she needs to know? I mean these comments sound like insecurities to me, like she is hoping they will get you to confess something and confirm her thoughts. If there are no secrets then next time she comments simply ask why she ... (read in full...)
I feel as I am running out of solutions and am considering prostitution...
Q. i want to be a prostitute i am struggling with money at the moment and i need some to help me life and enjoy myself i live in england does anyone no of how i can do it or of any agencies to call ? ...
A. 20 June 2008: Okay 'prostitution' is not formally illegal but solicitation is - which makes the task out on the streets illegal. Also it is illegal to pick the girls up in a car so unless doing it from a property or somewhere very shadey you and clients may be ... (read in full...)
Sex with a new boyfriend - how soon is too soon?
Q. How soon is too soon, to have sex with a new boyfriend? Im just curious to know....
A. 20 June 2008: Whenever you are BOTH ready for it and not until then. It does depend on many things, like whether you have known them as a friend for years etc - then obviously you are bound to feel more comfortable with them as there is less of a 'getting to no ... (read in full...)
Man charged with sexual assault to me, I feel sorry for him and am scared.
Q. This isnt really about relationships but i value everyones advice on this site and iv always came here in the past with troubles. so im hoping you guy can help me now. A good few months ago a man who i new from a rival store to the one that i w...
A. 20 June 2008: You have done the right thing sweetie and I will tell you why. Often people do things that they think are clever at the time some later regret it and have to face bad consequences some dont regret it and have the same fait - I dont know how that is ... (read in full...)
I feel as I am running out of solutions and am considering prostitution...
Q. i want to be a prostitute i am struggling with money at the moment and i need some to help me life and enjoy myself i live in england does anyone no of how i can do it or of any agencies to call ? ...
A. 4 June 2008: Prostitution is illegal and not really the right road to go down hun. Its not the fun, exciting lifestyle that the telly makes it out to be. The men dont treat you to nice hotels to do the deeds, they use you for their pleasure in back alley ways ... (read in full...)
I want to propose to my girlfriend. I know I'm being shallow, but her saggy breasts are putting me off
Q. I love my girlfriend very much and we have a really good relationship. Recently i have been wanting to propose and i have brought a ring. As is natural i guess, since then i have found myself questioning lots of things to make sure it is the right ...
A. 4 June 2008: Trust me after kids and with age they will get much saggier - if you love her it shouldn't matter. In the real world everything is not perky.... (read in full...)
Aghhh!!!!! He won't communicate!
Q. My BF and I have been together for 3 years now. We don't fight much or at least we let it escalate to fighting. It started out that way because I just felt like maybe some things aren't that critical to get heated about. Also he is the type of ...
A. 4 June 2008: Your absolutely right. Communication is such a huge part of successful adult relationships. Remind him that you are adults and you do need to discuss things to resolve them, not run away to mommy and daddies.
I notice that you have not disclose... (read in full...)
Whilst I have been able to ignore the problem and hope it goes away or changesi now realized it cannot go away now. Does anyone understand this problem and have any advice?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years (no children) and have not had sex for 7 years. Before that the sex was unemotional. When we first got married it was ok for a couple of years but then became difficult - although I would say there ...
A. 4 June 2008: Hi, it is clear that although the abuse has not reguarly been displayed, it has still left mental scars that have slowly assisted in shutting down the physical and emotional sides of your marriage.
The main question you have to ask yourself... (read in full...)
My childhood sucks! Need advice, please!
Q. Hey, im 13 and my childhood sucks!! but its not any1 persons fault.... its bout everyones fault mainly mine..... see i have a very large anger problem, a.d.d, and o.c.d.... i don't take any medication cuz they cost alot and i would have to be th...
A. 3 June 2008: Sweetie the only way things can get any better is to get yourself on some meds. I dont know how the us works but here in the UK there is help for people who can not afford to pay for the medication they need and they can get it free. Please go and ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a MFM threesome, but I do not want to...
Q. my wife of 10 months wants to have mfm threesome but i dont think i want to. what should i do?...
A. 3 June 2008: Say no. Many people that do agree to threesomes, later find that they cause problems within their relationships.
If you are not comfortable with the idea then imagine the problems that would be caused if you went along with it. Gosh your marriage... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any advice or stories about how long it took to become pregnant after stopping birth control?
Q. I was on birth control for 8 years and I have been trying to concieve for 10 months. Does anyone have any advice or stories about how long it took to become pregnant after stopping birth control?...
A. 30 May 2008: Hi, it depends what birth contorl you have been on, if it was the pill the pregnancy should follow quite quickly after stopping this method, unless there are other factors that may be effecting you getting pregnant.
Other forms of cont... (read in full...)
Been sleeping with my friends father. What do you think I should do?
Q. Hi cupid, I am in a really hard situation. ok my best friend and I are really close we do everything together. I am 16 and she is 17. I really don't have much of a family of my own my dad left us and my mum spends more time at the pub getting ...
A. 29 May 2008: Its not rape guys - lets be fair, shes a willing party.At no point has she said she didnt want it nor does she mention ending this 'thing' they have. I find it astonishing that she clearly sees no wrong in their actions and no care for the 'best ... (read in full...)
Been sleeping with my friends father. What do you think I should do?
Q. Hi cupid, I am in a really hard situation. ok my best friend and I are really close we do everything together. I am 16 and she is 17. I really don't have much of a family of my own my dad left us and my mum spends more time at the pub getting ...
A. 29 May 2008: Its funny because Im sure that he has told you that his wife does not please him, that you are the most amazing person he has ever met, that he never has sex with his wife anymore, that she doesnt understand him etc etc and you have bought all that ... (read in full...)
My husband has been diagnosed as having 3 months to live, could the doctor be wrong?
Q. hi guys. i have been married 2years to the love of my life. I mean THE love of my life. Im 5months pregnant with twins. My husband got a lump on his neck checked out a few weeks ago. he came home yesterday to tell me that the doctor says at best ...
A. 27 May 2008: I would get a second opinion to be sure,think it would be strange for a doctor to say such things without doing any tests but you did not state if this doctor was at a hospital and if any tests were done.
Your reaction was down to hormones and shoc... (read in full...)
My match is 10 years younger, which worries me. Share your experience please, if you've lived a similar situation.
Q. Has any woman had a long-term relationship with a man at least 10 yrs younger than her, how did it go? i have met a very mature man that is 10 yrs younger than me and it is getting serious but i have some concerns about the age, i look very young ...
A. 19 May 2008: Some relatives of mine have 10 years difference between them and celebrated their 40th wedding anniversay last year - so it can work and if he is your match, then go for it, you only live once. x... (read in full...)
Good memories of one night stands?
Q. There are topics on regretting, or feeling hurt after a one night stand. This topic is about the opposite. They say having a one night stand changes you, or it stays with you. So does it stay with you in a good way? I was wondering if any of ...
A. 18 May 2008: I have to say I have very fond memories of one night stands.
I think people differ their opinions depending on whether it was ment to be a one night stand or whether they thought it would end up going somewhere.
At that particular time in my life ... (read in full...)
My mum get's angry when I stutter!
Q. When I talk to my mom she rolls her eyes, and she looks angry. I could tell sometimes she doesn't want me to talk to her. Sometimes when I talk I stutter or cannot get the words out of my mouth. Maybe my mom doesn't like the way I talk.I can't help ...
A. 18 May 2008: Hi, you could do without that from your mom really, she is probably making you more aware of your stutter and in turn that is making it more frequent.
I dont know how bad your stutter is but from the other angle it is extreemly difficult when conv... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's past bothers me!
Q. I have a problem with my GF's past! I am 24 years old and have slept with about 10 people, she is 20 and has slept with 12 people before me! Should this be bothering me so much, is that alot? She told me that everyone she has slept with wasnt...
A. 17 May 2008: I dont see how her past effects you and your relationship if you make each other happy at this point in time. We all make wrong decisions when we are younger and sometimes we do things because at the time, they make us feel good about ... (read in full...)
Are there no mature women interested in young guys?
Q. I love mature women but I am young (16). Its hard when you know you probably can't have sex with an older woman at a young age. I just don't know what to do....
A. 17 May 2008: When you are of age to go to clubs and pubs, you will find that you mix with a variety of age ranges - and there are alot of older women out there that would be interested in a younger man....many of them however may have baggage attached so it ... (read in full...)
My sister gave me oral
Q. I woke up the other night to my own sister giving me a blow job! I thought I was dreaming it. I woke up I asked her to stop, but she said you must like it as I was ready to complete. She had been drinking I think. She is 5 years older than me. I...
A. 14 May 2008: Report her, drunk or not it is sexual abuse. Im sure your parents would be uncomfortable with the event so perhaps you should share this with them so that they can get to the bottom of her messed up head.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to have small white spots in his underwear?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to have small traces of semen on his underwear even if he did not have sex that day. My boyfriend occassionaly has two or three white spots on his underwear but yet we didn't have sex that day. I don't know how to approach ...
A. 14 May 2008: Not sure why you are looking so closely at his dirty underwear, I wash all my partners stuff but I don't go checking them out.
Anyway, sounds normal to me, women lose discharge without sex throughout the day so why would men be any differen... (read in full...)
Should men pay on the first 'date'?
Q. Question #1 I met a woman on an online dating service. She suggested we should meet up for coffee and I agreed and suggested a time and place. When we finished she said she would go to the restroom while I took care of the bill. She didn’t offe...
A. 14 May 2008: I think that some women would expect for the guy to pay on any dates if they are coming from a traditional angle however manners wouldn't cost them anything so the fact that she had none would ring a little bell for me.
Personally, most people i... (read in full...)
Has any one ever had a fling, and regretted it as much as I do? And what did you do about it?
Q. hi all, please help me, i am so afraid that my husband will find out about a fling i had with a man a few months back. I love my husband with all my heart and am so upset, because i made a stupid, stupid mistake and i just cant forgive myself f...
A. 12 May 2008: Whats done is done, there is no point in torturing yourself, I think you realise now how important your relationship with your husband is to you and from what you write I would say that you are extreemly regretful and on this occassion I would say ... (read in full...)
I want to love him and lose my virginity to him. How do I know if it's right?
Q. i think im falling in love but im not sure if he's in love with me but i wanna trust him but im not sure and im not sure if i should loose my virginity tom him ...
A. 11 May 2008: I would say, if you are not 110% sure for whatever reason, don't do it. I know you probly think you love him....and I dont mean that in a condesending way but it is most likely flattery and lust as most of us later find out.
I would also like to ... (read in full...)
After 3 negative results, could I still be pregnant?
Q. I'm 12 days late and took three pregnancy tests and they all came out negative, could i be pregnant?...
A. 9 May 2008: I would say not. Although it is more likely to get a false negative than a false positive the chance of 3 being wrong is highly unlikely - gosh we wouldn't be able to trust them if we were would we?
If you are feeling under any particular pressure... (read in full...)
My friend's father touched me in places he shouldn't have. Do I let him get away with it?
Q. i was about 14 years old and still in school i used to go to my friends frequently but he used to be in bed and his father would ask me to go in and he would touch me in places that he shouldnt i was real scared, i was really young at the time and ...
A. 9 May 2008: Absolutely not! he shouldn't get away with it, you said now you are wiser you no it was wrong....well then you no he cant get away with it right, who knows how many people have kept his secret. Go to the police and report him. I no this sounds a ... (read in full...)
My daughter is 19, unmarried and pregnant. Any pointers?
Q. My daughter is 19 and lives with her bf. I was against that decision, but she's grown. Now, she tells me that she is pregnant, I don't know how to handle the situation without alienating her. I don't approve because she is not married. It's not what ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, I was living in my own house with my boyfriend and 19 when I got pregnant for the first time.
My mom was shocked but always supportive even though it is not what she wanted for her children but my partners dad was not pleased about the idea and ... (read in full...)
My fiancé is a virgin and I need to build his confidence
Q. The problem is that my fiance is a virgin and has very little self-esteem in the bedroom and so he won't have sex with me because he's afraid he isn't going to be good at it. Well, that's really only part of the reason. The other part of his reason ...
A. 7 May 2008: Move the wedding forward - lol! I dont know what you are ment to do in this situation but the other post certainly sounds like something to try. Mens egos always grow when it is their idea....so find away to turn things around.... (read in full...)
How do you define a "long term" relationship?
Q. OK here I go thinking again, ok its another question about peoples points of views. After reading questions on here about people in long term relationships...How long does a relationship need to be to be long term? I don't know how you would cl...
A. 7 May 2008: I would say a long term relationship is one that you have been in for a while and can see yourself remaining in for the forseeable future. I dont think people talk of long term as a length of time its more as a phrase used to say they are not going ... (read in full...)
Does anybody have experience of getting back after splitting-up??
Q. My partner left me in the fall of last year and since then I've been looking after her daughter and our 5 kids and I'm coping pretty terribly. The eldest three are teenagers so they don't really need any looking after but the younger three are ...
A. 7 May 2008: You are doing a fantastic job....Im not sure that I would cope either. Perhaps the older kids could play a bigger role to the babies to give you a rest from time to time - it could earn them some pocket money or you could pay for them to go to the ... (read in full...)
If I wanted an abortion would the doctor tell my parents?
Q. Just a quick and really weird question but I still would like the answer. If I'm pregnant (still waiting for results) then I really don't want any one to find out at all. So if I went to the doctor and wanted an abortion what procedure would ...
A. 7 May 2008: Hi, I am not going to lie when answering your follow up questions. I can only tell you of my experience.
Get it done as soon as you are sure, its an easier thing to deal with then. I was quite far gone and it was very difficult to deal with but... (read in full...)
If I wanted an abortion would the doctor tell my parents?
Q. Just a quick and really weird question but I still would like the answer. If I'm pregnant (still waiting for results) then I really don't want any one to find out at all. So if I went to the doctor and wanted an abortion what procedure would ...
A. 6 May 2008: No the doctors can not disclose any information to your parents - also it is not always necessary to stay over unless you choose to. I went in, had it done, had to stay a few hours and got a taxi home alone to an empty house...you dont need someone ... (read in full...)
Does anybody have experience of getting back after splitting-up??
Q. My partner left me in the fall of last year and since then I've been looking after her daughter and our 5 kids and I'm coping pretty terribly. The eldest three are teenagers so they don't really need any looking after but the younger three are ...
A. 6 May 2008: Hi, what a difficult life you lead...I am guessing that you can not go out to work either as you have nobody to watch the kids - even that would be a break and earning money at the same time.
I cant say that I understand the situation that you are ... (read in full...)
I invited my father to my house to support him through his recovery, only I just discovered he watches child porn! What should my next steps be??
Q. Where to start... My father had a heart attack nearly a year ago, as he was living on his own I demanded he moved in with me, my partner and our young daughter, until he made a complete recovery. He moved in, retired from his job, moved out his r...
A. 5 May 2008: As the parent of 2 little girls, if I had found that I would have been on the phone reporting him in a flash - it would not have mattered who he was or what I thought I knew,it would be about the safety of my girls. You need to report him and get ... (read in full...)
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