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*eanutButter agony aunt

*eanutButter

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*eanutButter's profile:

I am a lady in my 30's with 3 children and a few pets. I have experienced many a different awkward situation in my life and I have a lot of advice to give! Don't be afraid to ask! :)

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I may have been too honest with her about my feelings, but I never thought I would find another woman who I could be with, and I don't know how to handle things.

Q.   Right, after the awful life I've had and been put thru by my ex gf and struggling to do anything for last 2n half years, somehow I've managed to find another lady out of the blue, because she knows of my past and my dislike for women and seeing them ...

A.   7 December 2012: I don't agree with the view about being controlling. I think you mean that you just don't want to negatively affect the children if it went wrong and that is a safe, sensible way to go. I would suggest taking it slow, see where it goes. You've t... (read in full...)

I may have been too honest with her about my feelings, but I never thought I would find another woman who I could be with, and I don't know how to handle things.

Q.   Right, after the awful life I've had and been put thru by my ex gf and struggling to do anything for last 2n half years, somehow I've managed to find another lady out of the blue, because she knows of my past and my dislike for women and seeing them ...

A.   7 December 2012: I don't agree with the view about being controlling. I think you mean that you just don't want to negatively affect the children if it went wrong and that is a safe, sensible way to go. I would suggest taking it slow, see where it goes. You've t... (read in full...)

My boyfriend didnt invite me to go see the movie and went with his friends instead! Am I overeacting?

Q.   my bf recently shifted to my city.its been 4months since he is in my city.earlier we were in a long distance relationship since 3 years.my bf planned out for a movie with his guy friends and he didnt invite me! this was really shocking for me.when i ...

A.   7 December 2012: Unfortunately men (and women) need their own space with their own friends sometimes and while it sometimes makes little or no sense to NOT do something with you when they are so close, it is often important in any relationship to give eachother some ... (read in full...)

How do I forgive his porn usage so we can be happy?

Q.   Hi all.I am in need of advice. I have looked up numberous articles but the advice is very generalized and not very helpful.How do you forgive someone that has betrayed your trust? I have been with my partner for almost 5 years and we have a family. ...

A.   7 December 2012: I would agree with the advice concerning the professional councelling. I can see that you both love eachother or else you wouldn't have tried to get it to work again and I personally would have said that porn was not a deal breaker - BUT! The... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wont have sex or go anywhere near my "man parts" when she's on her period.

Q.   Is it wrong for me to be extremely frustrated at the fact that my girlfriend won't go anyone near my genitals when she's on her period? We can be hooking up and it will get intense and she'll stop us and tell me she "doesn't want to get too horny, ...

A.   7 December 2012: Many women really do not like to do the deed, so to speak, while they are on a period because it is a lot more intense, sticky and uncomfortable than just a drop of blood here or there - it can be emotionally draining, physically uncomfortable and ... (read in full...)

His wife only wants him back because she knows he was happy with me

Q.   Please help i'm in a muddle! when i started my new job last year i met a lovely bloke in 1 of my calls. we always got on well and chatted. he told me he was married with children and i always asked after them its was strictly professional but i ad...

A.   6 September 2012: Sometimes when children are involved it is very hard for a man to walk away - harder than some of us like to think or realize and I am sure he cares a great deal about you, but he has been with his wife for an incredibly long time and his children ... (read in full...)

Why is he commenting on how I don't stay over as much as he would like, when my life has always been this way?

Q.   Had a good weekend with my boyfriend of 5 months but a couple of things he said has played on my mind. We are both in our 40s, I have a teenage child, he has no children. My home life is a little more chaotic than his and his mum still does his...

A.   28 May 2012: I didn't quite understand the part about the daughter and university, either. Could you clarify that a little, please? Is there a reason that you can't leave the home unattended for long periods of time or is it a personal preference - either w... (read in full...)

What should I do? I apologized for making him angry

Q.   I've been seeing a guy for a month or two. He was texting me some weird poetry. All I said was I hope you aren't faking it/ getting it from a book. As he's never said these things face to face to me. Then he cracked it and said its over. I ...

A.   28 May 2012: He probably feels hurt because you didn't respond in the way he expected and jumped to the end rather than talk it out. This is one big reason that people shouldn't communicate via text because sometimes it gets taken the wrong way or read in a way ... (read in full...)

He was my best friend and now I don't know who he's pretending to be

Q.   I need you to please tell me what happened here: Last year, I became really good friends with a boy in my choir. We spent one whole night together for a feild trip and, suddenly, we became really close. He had such a fun, cute, personality and ...

A.   28 May 2012: Friends often outgrow one another as life moves forward and it doesn't always leave us with a positive view of the friends we thought would be there no matter what. It definitely sounds to me as though you have more than friendly feelings towards ... (read in full...)

My friend told me that his girlfriend likes me, how should I handle this?

Q.   Hi, I have a problem and wanted to ask for some advise since I don't know what to do. Today a good friend of mine which is also a classmate from a class I'm talking told me that things between him and his girlfriend have not been good and that they ...

A.   28 May 2012: I would definitely steer clear of the girlfriend, it does sound like he is testing the wasters to see if you are interested in her or vice versa, he might think you're already seeing her and is trying to dig to find out. It is extremely shady and ... (read in full...)

Although he's fun the heart says "no"!

Q.   Today I went for my first date in a long time, the guy was great- good looking, funny, kind but acted like a big kid. As much I enjoy a laugh and a good time he seemed a little too childish for me. However when he asked if we could meet up again I ...

A.   1 April 2012: I agree with the previous poster, I would give him another chance and see what happens. He may have been extremely nervous or you may be looking for the negatives to make up for the fact he is not the other person you're keen on. There's no harm ... (read in full...)

Porn related questions

Q.   A few questions.... Are there any lucky women here whose partner does not watch/use porn? Did you have to tell them to stop? Did they lose interest naturally, how long did it take? Why is it so vital to men that they get to masturbate over...

A.   25 March 2012: My husband doesn't like porn and cares nothing for it even though I wouldn't mind if he did. I wouldn't worry about someone liking porn, but be careful how you act about it because you can't help how they feel. If you really need to get a move on ... (read in full...)

I was tired of being his mother!

Q.   I just recently broke it off with my boyfriend of nine months, I was tired of being his mother. I did everything for that kid, and he appreciated none of it. I wasn't happy at all in the relationship. I was belittled and treated wrongly. I paid ...

A.   25 March 2012: It is probably too soon to move on but you certainly shouldn't feel guilty. Life deals us curve balls now and then, just go with it to a degree and make good of it. Best of luck!... (read in full...)

Has my ex had a strange change of heart?

Q.   Hello. My name's Brian. I have a very confusing situation. It has been 3 years, since I have been romantically rejected by my first girlfriend. She offered to be my friend. However, I found that she wasn't very trustworthy, after knowing that a m...

A.   25 March 2012: Perhaps she feels as though she can have her cake and eat it too. I would tell her to leave you alone. Tell her there are no hard feelings but that you have moved on. This would be best all around. You are worth so much more to someone you just ... (read in full...)

Post abortion guilt is now setting in

Q.   I had an abortion last November. I had been going out with this guy for a few months, the relationship had all happened very quickly as the boy I was in love with, who I had been seeing but never was officially with for three years got a girlfriend ...

A.   25 March 2012: I agree that you are not in any way a bad person. I also agree that perhaps you need some councelling to get you through some tough times you may have ahead and want to also say that you should not under any circumstances feel ashamed of how you ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband like to mentally undress my female unattractive friend?

Q.   My husband has admitted that he likes to undress my female friend whom we have met on two occasions, mentally in his mind. However, he claimed that he doesn't find her attractive and is not fantasizing about having sex with her but merely her figure ...

A.   24 March 2012: He clearly is having an attack of conscience over this whether he is attracted to her or not or else he would never have mentioned it to you! Perhaps he is looking for some validation that he isn't doing something wrong and I don't think he's going ... (read in full...)

35 years late he insinuates himself into facebook conversations with emotional references to the past!

Q.   my first boyfriend went away to college said we should date and sleep with others while he was away said we should start doing this before he left he did not take me to his prom I found out later that he even slept with my best friend he came back ...

A.   24 March 2012: Some people really like to think about "what if" and mull ocer the past and what they could have. The fact is, the grass is ALWAYS greener and it used to be that we could grieve and get on with life - but places like facebook make it very eas... (read in full...)

Should I leave him for lying about porn?

Q.   Is porn a good reason to leave after 5 years? I've been with a guy for five years and everything was fine until I got pregnant the first time. He used porn everyday although we had sex almost every night the entire pregnancy... 3 years later he h...

A.   24 March 2012: Personally I would not give up a long term relationship because of porn, but I wouldn't be too happy with the deceit aspect of the situation if he has been hiding it from you. On the other hand, there is a reason he feels that he has to hide it ... (read in full...)

How do I stop freaking out about his lack of contact?

Q.   Please help- I don't know if I'm overreacting or reading too much into my boyfriend's actions or not. He's not much of a phone guy, so most of our communication is through texting (we text every day). And we spend at least a couple days/nig...

A.   24 March 2012: First of all I want to say don't feel disheartened. You have the power to control how you feel and you shouldn't let his actions put a dampener on your mood - you should try and remain positive because there really could be so many reasons why he ... (read in full...)

Husband mimics everything I do like he's a parrot!

Q.   My husband mimicks everything I say or do to the point where im just fed up listening to him. If I sneeze (i sneeze a lot!) he acts me and laughs. If I scratch my nose or just move some way he copies me. And he mimicks everything I say...

A.   5 March 2012: I would suggest speaking to him about it because if he is doing it lovingly he might not realise that it is a problem. If it is deliberate than he will either stop now that he realises you've had enough OR he will continue even though he now knows ... (read in full...)

Should I leave him to find an attentive man?

Q.   frist i want to say i love my boyfriend we've been togther for 4 years now. but things are getting wierd . like sex between us is almost nonextint and if we do all he wants is for me to go down on him . and if i dont drop every little thing im doing ...

A.   26 February 2012: Some women are very right for a man that needs a lot of attention and other women are better off looking for men who give as much attention as they get. I don't thin your guy is bad for the way he is but im not convinced that he is the right ma... (read in full...)

I want my LDR b/f's family to accept us but I don't think they do

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm writing this on my phone so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I've been in a long distance for four and a half years now. We've met before. Last year, we both told our families. Our friends already knew. Anyways. Last Chri...

A.   26 February 2012: All a parent really wants is what is best for her son or his daughter or whichever and I think it is sometimes extremely hard to be there and seem supportive in a LDR when you do not see the person involved in that relationship accross the seas! ... (read in full...)

How to fix this after the cheater was cheated.

Q.   Well, let's start it this way. I met this girl nearly half a year ago, and when I we started an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for nearly 4 months already. We have always been in a long distance relationship since the start, and I k...

A.   26 February 2012: Honestly, I would like to say that perhaps you and her are not ready to be in a relationship with one another at this point in time. You both seem to need the physical closeness that can often make or break a relatiobship and the fact that you have ... (read in full...)

Can our relationship survive the distance and years apart?

Q.   So, there's this girl. She is almost seventeen, finishing high school, and I am 18 in first year engineering. We've been casual friends for close to 2 years now. Except 5 months ago, we somehow ended up in a relationship, and turns out, we really ...

A.   20 January 2012: Hey there! I have a few things to say and mostly all are encouraging. First of all, it is wonderful that you have developed this relationship with each other and an underlying friendship that has the potential to outlast anything. The goo... (read in full...)

I cant orgasm during intercourse is it my fault or his?

Q.   Im very physically and mentally attracted to my boyfriend, but when we had sex i NEVER orgasm, i only orgasm when he fingers me, when we have sex it lasts awhile, long enough to where i should have "gotten off" but i dont even though the sensation ...

A.   20 January 2012: It is neither his fault, nor yours - some women are highly sensitive and climax very easily, while others are the complete opposite. Try not to put too much pressure on having to climax every time and it might make it less of an issue - try ... (read in full...)

I just cant seem to like girls my age!

Q.   So in a weird flip of the coin i have recently started seeing older women. I am 24 and im seeing a lady who is 34 and another who is 42. i have fooled around with a lady who was 63 last week. i really dont know what it is. i find them attractive and ...

A.   20 January 2012: You can have a real relationship with an older woman, just as you could if you found a younger woman on your wavelength too - they are out there, you just have to find them! I agree with the other poster that you should perhaps find one woman to... (read in full...)

Do men like romantic, tender sex

Q.   i love to create a romantic atmosphere (scented candles ,rose petals ,silk sheets ,nice music ,food and wine ) making love slowly ,looking into the guy eyes ,hearing his breath and pulling him closer to me.... am i too idealistic ...

A.   20 January 2012: It very much depends on the man, his mood, his desires and preferences. Some love it, others hate it, but as long as you're on the same page, it can be phenomenal! ... (read in full...)

Sticky Situation pregnant and confused.

Q.   So im currently 5 months pregnant, and have been in this relationship for a little over 10 months. We certainly rushed into things real quick and not I am not only regreting the fact that we rushed it so quick but the situation im in as well. I stay ...

A.   20 January 2012: There is a lot more to life than money and a man who shares with his brother is probably a better catch than a man who is frivolous with his pennies. I wouldn't worry too much about the ins and outs of his business, as you say, you are still ge... (read in full...)

Online fling caused my guy to walk out of a 3 year relationship?

Q.   Is a stupid online fling what i had a good reason for my guy of 3 years to walk out on me and our 2 kids? I never even went meeting the guy. The worst i did was a bit of naughty chat. Would you agony aunts think he was looking for an excuse to bail ...

A.   20 January 2012: Unfortunately, to some people, cheating is cheating no matter how it happens and an online fling, no matter how silly it seems to you, could be extremely hurtful to a spouse and signifies all sorts of problems with the relationship. Emotional ... (read in full...)

Scheduled to work 2 years overseas and now I think I've met "the one"! What do I do?

Q.   Why is it that when ever something is planned e.g. overseas travel someone really cool comes into your life. Ive been out of a relationship for a wee while now and around a month or so ago I was set up with this amazing guy. we have gotten to know ...

A.   20 January 2012: I would look at your options, and follow your heart but be a little practical with it too. Talk to him about how you feel and see if he is willing to try and get work over in the UK too? Maybe you could have your cake and eat it too? I would... (read in full...)

I was told he liked me, but he hasn't called or texted in 3 days!

Q.   So I like this guy. His friend that I work with told me that the guy likes me too. I gave his friend my number to give to him... 3 days ago. The guy hasn't called or texted or anything - but his friend still insists that he likes me. Should I make a ...

A.   20 January 2012: If you are a confident person and not worried about the possibility of rejection then I say go for it and make a move yourself - give it another day though in case he plays by the 3 day rules! Life is too short! Ask him out and see where life tak... (read in full...)

Help! I'm obsessed with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend 6 months and he is the most amazing man Ive ever met. However I am completely obsessed with his ex girlfriend who he was with for 3 years. They broke up 2 years ago because he freaked out about committed pressure...

A.   20 January 2012: You need to pull yourself together, and i mean that in the nicest way possible - you are just as good as any ex gf and you can achieve anything you put your mind to, so do not compare yourself to her. Regardless of his hiostory with her, he is with ... (read in full...)

Can this kind of man turn on any kind of woman?

Q.   Hello women out there. Would it be true that any man within the average range of attractiveness, taking into account looks, clothing, job, education, etc, who is also totally comfortable in his own skin, has his own goals that he's heading toward ...

A.   20 January 2012: I do not think that any 1 man could be successful with all ladies as we are all very different in our tastes/likes and a man like that, while attractive to some, might come across as arrogant to others and, therefore, a turn off. There is someo... (read in full...)

Is this common to have chronic impotence without medical cause?

Q.   I need some helpful advice here, because I'm close to lose my wife, after long marriage. I'm impotent, and I had several medical investigation, because I thought it must have a medical cause, as I didn't think, it was psychological issue. But they ...

A.   20 January 2012: If there has been extensive testing and no medical cause has been found, it doesn't mean that one doesn't exist. Having said that, the more often impotence occurs, the more it becomes a psychological issue as you think its going to happen, you get ... (read in full...)

He hardly ever wants to have sex... What's wrong with me???

Q.   my boyfriend of 5 years rarely wants to have sex with me! I have explained how this makes me feel and how it kills my confidence and self esteem. but yet it seems like he does not understand....he always says I have issues meaning I am a nympho and ...

A.   11 December 2010: Im sorry but you should understand that he may NOT have a problem and you may not have one either. It is a myth that all men like sex all the time! Just as it is a myth that all women prefer less sex more of the time! What you have here is... (read in full...)

Unfinished business....

Q.   Has anyone ever found themselves still holding on after a breakup because there's a lot a unfinished business to wrap up or plans that were cut off in mid play?...

A.   8 December 2010: I think this happens a lot - especially when it was the other person who did the breaking up. Usually there is still some underlying issue or residual feeling left but it is sometimes better to let it all go than to hang on in there if there is no ... (read in full...)

Haven't heard from LDR guy in 3 days

Q.   Once again I need some help from My Agony Aunts. I'm in a LDR for 6 months now. It has its trials but I love my b/f enough to make us work. Now I have not heard from hi in three days now. No message, phonecall, emails nothing. What in the world is ...

A.   27 August 2010: I was in a LDR for years, sometimes he wouldn't email or call for days but he was working hard, then sleeping early and never had 5 minutes to call when either I wasn't working or he wasn't working etc, it was a difficult situation. 3 days of no ... (read in full...)

How can I motivate my GF to lose wight??

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend now for 15 months. She's always been overweight and it did bother me, and I spoke to her about it and she said she would do something about it. She became very motivated in working out and eating right, but as ti...

A.   27 August 2010: Unfortunately you cannot make someone lose weight until they are ready to do it for themselves. As her partner you might make things worse by trying to push her too hard as she might think that you don't like her as she is, which might make her feel ... (read in full...)

I'm not masculine and am afraid I will be cheated on!

Q.   I just got introduced into the "world of sex" and I feel really uncomfortable about my body. I am a virgin so I don't have experience but I feel like I am too small. I am only at most 6 inches length with at best 5.o inches around. I think I am ...

A.   25 August 2010: First of all, I think that most people feel exactly the same way when they first come into contact with the world of sex and everything for which that involves. Most men think that they are not quite adequate enough and most women think exactly ... (read in full...)

Not on the pill, no condom! Pregnant?

Q.   im 15, i lose my V 3 days ago to a 16 year old. im not on the pill, and he wasnt wearing a condom. we didnt stop for about 30mins. ist possiable for me to be pregnant?x...

A.   25 August 2010: When I was 16 I had sex with my then boyfriend. I got pregnant and my son is now 13. Suffice to say, it is always possible to get pregnant - no matter how long he is "in there" or how long you take to stop. It is also more likely that you'll get ... (read in full...)

Did he join a dating site, or is it just spam?

Q.   If your man checks out an online dating website, can they get your email address or addresses without joining this site as a member? My guys says he is just getting spam from this website. But he is getting 5-6 emails a day from this site. I ...

A.   7 June 2010: You know, sometimes it is absolutely possible and plausible that a site send emails when the person is not a member. A while back I kept receiving emails from 2 different dating sites saying so and so was waiting for me or so and so wanted to ... (read in full...)

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