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... Send OtherStarfish a private message | | | OtherStarfish's profile:I am an ordinary man who has lived and enjoyed life. I have seen great joy and great sadness and loved all of it. I have no wisdom except what seems right to me. The one thing that strikes me in looking at relationships is how options from the inside are limited and mostly people know what is right thing to do, they just need a push to do it. (....A bit like not seeing a sign on a door that says pull...).
The greatest advice I can give is; LIVE! you have 1 life, live it forever. Don't stay in a trapped and doomed relationship or sit there wondering if x fancies you...go find out. Life is really too short to waste time on such foolishness. There is a chain of restaurants that have a tag line which modified slightly signifies the most important things that I believe in: Eat, Live, Love and Laugh.
Please feel free to leave me a personal message if you prefer to posting in the main area (although you wont get the collected wisdom of the aunts and probably a slightly bias view from me).
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| Latest articles: What is Love?
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2009: I wrote this for someone else in a discussion about what is love...this is my 1000th post. Salutations to you all, its been a fun journey. Hugs Star.x. What is real love... Love, has long been studied by artists, the clergy, scientists,...
Is it fun to take pictures? (Why not)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 February 2009: Is it fun to take pictures? (a minor rant) Ok this is something that might seem obvious. We live in a digital age where everything has a camera. Quiet often people think its fun to take pictures of yourself or partners in various poses ranging fr...
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Fairness... justice...
Q. Its Something that I have been thinking about since my last break up ….. was the most hurtful thing in my life. I have failed in many things in my life. Jobs, friendship, maybe, studies, but I didn’t suffer as much as I suffered in my break up. T...
A. 26 September 2009: why does there have to be justice? if you loved him as you claimed then you should be happy for him?
now to get him out of your mind... hmmm that's a question!
Star.x.... (read in full...)
Taking advantage of Love
Q. Dear Cupid, I didn't think your aim could get any worse, but yet again you manage to surprise me. I look at his bizarre carnival sometimes and I wander if there is truly method to your madness. Maybe I am looking at it too closely. If I just z...
A. 26 September 2009: ....um ok.
Star.x.... (read in full...)
How do I get her off my mind?
Q. I have been crushing over this girl for over 5 years now, but I cant ask her out as she already has a boyfriend(of 3 years). She doesn't know about my feelings for her. What bothers me is that she speaks to me when we are out of school but ignores ...
A. 13 September 2009: easy way to get over obsessive disorders is cognative therapy... a distraction... go find another woman trust me it will work.....spend time and talk....you are thinking too much....
Star.x.... (read in full...)
I want us to have a threesome with a female escort. Is this is a good idea?
Q. Hello, just a quick request for advice, please. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 8 years, and enjoy a healthy loving relationship. We are hoping to get married soon. We are both in our late 20s, professionals, and own our own ...
A. 13 September 2009: my advice would be - what does she say? what does your partner want. - just because she says she likes the thought - does not mean she is....
talk to her.
Star.x.... (read in full...)
I start twitching when my boyfriend fingers me - what is this?
Q. Hi, I'm 17 and I'm a girl. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months and we dont have sex but I give him oral sex and hand jobs and he has tried oral sex on me and fingers me. We dont really have a lot of time alone because our parents are ...
A. 13 September 2009: ...normal, very normal....
its just response to stimulus there.... i would assume it feels ok and the twitching isn't epileptic its actions?
so just enjoy...
Star.x.... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and might be pregnant! Help!!
Q. Ok. Im 14. And maybe pregnant. So i have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We are really in love and i know he's the one. My mom and dad both know we are having sex so they put me on the pill and got condoms. So almost a month ago now me and ...
A. 1 September 2009: Cat's right - Calm down.
just because he climaxed inside of you does not mean you are pregnant. All of the other things do not mean you are pregnant. they can all be caused by many things - oh and you will be a little late this month because ... (read in full...)
Are women's aid calls confidential?
Q. Does anyone know-if you call women's aid are they allowed to pass on information to the police or is it strictly confidential...
A. 29 August 2009: i think the best thing to do would be to call them and talk to them
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100080002§ionTitle=Domestic+violence+helplines
has the contact details. the main number is:0808 2000 247
but there... (read in full...)
Not just a metaphor...
Q. Two weeks ago I was in Germany. The Rhine Valley, to be precise. I went there on a trip with my Wind Band. I wont say what I play, for fear of discorvery, lol. Any one of the 66 people with me could be on this site! One of the other 66 people ...
A. 21 August 2009: i think you achieved more than you know - you are shy by nature and you stepped forward as a brave knight to help a damsel in distress - that takes courage.
be proud - and think back how you felt them and then you use it when you face bigger m... (read in full...)
Is underage sex something you agree with?! I want opinions please!
Q. Ive decided to put myself out here after been severely infuriated by some 'adults' on this site who deem it appropriate for CHILDREN to be having sex from as young as 13! do you think its appropriate for a child of this age to be having sex?? they ...
A. 16 August 2009: hmmm topic post...cool...maybe the forum would be a better place for this? My Two'penneth....
I agree that underage sex is very wrong.
This is a global site, so keep in mind the age of consent varies from country to country (by about 6 year... (read in full...)
Is it a problem if my right breast is bigger than my left breast?
Q. please, is it a problem if my right breast is bigger than my left breast?...
A. 16 August 2009: depends how big the difference is...but as the others have said we aren't symmetrical... my feet are 1/2 a size different...
Star.x.... (read in full...)
20 years old and think I have ED!
Q. Hello. I'm 20, and I think I have erectile dysfunction. I've had a low sex drive recently. Usually my desire for sex is very high, and whenever I go without sex for long periods it only increases. Recently I've gotten into a relationship wit...
A. 16 August 2009: ...if you are able to masturbate then good news...its in your head rather than lower down as a problem....try to stop masturbating for a bit, so your body can rest the important bits ... and follow the advice below.
there is no rush its a marathon... (read in full...)
The psychological effects of an eating disorder
Q. In this article, I wanted to say a bit more about my experience of anorexia. I’ve already summarised how my eating disorder came about, but I wanted to explain more about some of the psychological effects it can have. I experienced, and still do to ...
A. 15 August 2009: Sam thanks for that.
- The body is the sum of what we eat. If we don't eat then we die. By being the sum of what we eat, that includes our mental states, our interaction with others etc. All of which makes you feel worse.
I think you will h... (read in full...)
20 years old and think I have ED!
Q. Hello. I'm 20, and I think I have erectile dysfunction. I've had a low sex drive recently. Usually my desire for sex is very high, and whenever I go without sex for long periods it only increases. Recently I've gotten into a relationship wit...
A. 15 August 2009: How are things in the morning? are they glorious? do you get hard at all? - if so, it suggests the mechanics are still functioning. if not go see a doc.
The good news is otherwise it is stress and stupidity and exhaustion and many other things..... (read in full...)
My teenagers have no time for me!
Q. I am a 37 year old mother and have a 17 year old son and a 15 year old daughter. They seem so wrapped up in their own lives, that right now, I'm not included. I have always ensured they getting the best out of life, and I try to set them on the ...
A. 15 August 2009: From your description you have just described every teenager on the planet....
if you have time see harry enfield playing a teenager (kevin) here -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5J8Q_0myKQ -
skip the first minutes...
teenagers have a lot... (read in full...)
The psychological effects of an eating disorder
Q. In this article, I wanted to say a bit more about my experience of anorexia. I’ve already summarised how my eating disorder came about, but I wanted to explain more about some of the psychological effects it can have. I experienced, and still do to ...
A. 15 August 2009: Sam - Wow - a great article. honest and though provoking enough to make us who haven't been there see some of the pain on that road.
A friend of mine's daughter has been voluntarily sectioned a couple of times (i know that's not the right word but... (read in full...)
Goodbye to all at Dear Cupid
Q. Well, this is not a question. I have just decided to opt out as an agony aunt, "uncle". I seem not to have had much success lately. I think it is just an age thing. I am probably to old to give advice to the questioners who seem to be of a much ...
A. 15 August 2009: Well Said Sam.
Tom - You have given your advice fairly. If they don't want to listen.... sigh, at least you tried.
Good luck.
Star.x.
... (read in full...)
Perverts on the train!
Q. Hi Im 15 and everyday i go on this one crowded train to go to a main public place that me and my friends like to hang out. i am always on the train alone (because none of my friends live near me). One day i was wearing a skirt(it was a mini ski...
A. 15 August 2009: agree with all below....
...try standing with your back to the door. Wear longer skirts
....move a lot. learn akkido.... find the times when it doesn't happen and work out why...
Star.x.... (read in full...)
How do I get her back after she thought I was cheating?
Q. Hi cupid.am nicolas.i broke up with with my girlfriend,she suspected me that i was cheating on her.i have tried to apologize in vain.what can i do to bring her back?.i love her....
A. 15 August 2009: just be honest and wait. Don't go astray. tell her the truth. if you fumbled a bit then tell her. If you want her back that is....
Star.x.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the semen to come back down and out?
Q. I have the implant, me and my boyfriend have both been for check-ups and we are both disease free! We have started having sex without a condom, I'm wondering if it's normal for the semen to come back down/out of me? It's abit messy sometimes and ge...
A. 15 August 2009: yes - very normal.
Gravity sucks as someone said...think all that fluid into you....and no place to go.
suggest a box of tissue by the bed or similar....
Star.x.... (read in full...)
What can I do about my our sex life? Our honeymoon period didn't even outlast the honeymoon!
Q. My wife and I have been married just over a month now and the "honeymoon period" as it were, didn't even last through the honeymoon. We had sex on the wedding night, which by mutual agreement was fantastic. However on our honeymoon, which lasted o...
A. 8 August 2009: I think you should talk to her the diet thing is not the cause -- it will be something else. maybe her, maybe you, maybe both!
is it solvable - yes. but don't worry about it.
so talk to her and find out what she likes. if its sitting hold... (read in full...)
Shy guys :How do you react to a girl liking you?
Q. This is a question for all those shy not very confident guys out there. If a girl was texting you once in a while, and you got the impression she cared about you. How would you react??? You like her but are scared of showing it for fear of gett...
A. 8 August 2009: it could be several things:
could be he cant get a hint? - maybe be more suitable in approach?
could be the work thing? - suggest seeing outside?
could be he is seeing someone else? - hmmm
could be he is gay? - lol
anyway some quick ... (read in full...)
I'm taking the pill and not sure if this is normal what has happened?
Q. I've recently started taking the pill. The doctors told me to only start taking it once my next period came and when it did, I started taking the pills. Normally, my periods only last about 5 days so I was expecting the same with this period, if not ...
A. 8 August 2009: just want to say i second love-strucko's advice its perfect.
Star.x.... (read in full...)
Erection problems are ruining my sex life!
Q. I think I have somekind of erection problem and it is embarrassing me and somewhat ruinging my sex life. I thought maybe someone might have some good advice because I'm too embarrassed to go to the doctors unless absolutely neccessary. I'm ...
A. 8 August 2009: sung to the tune of "we will rock you!" by Queen
boom boom clang
boom boom clang
we will we will rock you
we will we will rock you
boom boom clang
whilst being quick you got a soft dick
you are red in the face, humping all over... (read in full...)
Troubles with sex
Q. i am a 24 year old women and me and my fiance has been together for 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and have a 7 year old from a previous relationship and since and me fiance started having sex everything has been wonderful no problems ...
A. 8 August 2009: simple advice - rest more, take vitamins, stop worrying and see if it changes.
Star.x.
... (read in full...)
How can I distance myself from my toxic Sister?
Q. I have an older sister. We're 3 years apart. We spent a lot of our younger years (before she was 10) being really close. Then, when I was in high school and my first few years of college, we became close again; even closer this times. We partie...
A. 8 August 2009: I have written this and i know i am bias...
Distancing is easy - you just ignore.
But if you want a challenge hang in there... she is your sister...stand by her, even if you don't agree. help her - nudge her - spend time with her. time passes... (read in full...)
Why would he settle for second best when I bring out the best in him?
Q. what do i do i walk round with such a feeling of sadness and lonelyness in my heart. theirs one man i want put hes just not ready to settle down. weve been together 3 yrs on and off he did try but it always raises its ugly had that hes not ready. i ...
A. 8 August 2009: ....hmmm. i know you have done what i am about to say, but i will say it anyway.
Are you going to be 60 and saying this? no. so i think you need to be firm and say look that is it - either we start something now or its over forever - no contact.... (read in full...)
26 and tired of being a virgin!
Q. Hi! I'm 26 years of age male and really tired of being a virgin! have had opportunities in the past but it never felt right so I didn't do it! Lately though I'm becomming incresingly horny 4 it n feel like my lack of sexual experience is holding ...
A. 8 August 2009: hi Al,
... growl...you have a full keyboard...growl...sigh
What is the rush? you don't choose a fine wine in seconds. you don't dive in at the first item in a menu. I suspect your wait will be worth it.
going with a prosi of any descripti... (read in full...)
What DearCupid means to me
Q. I wanted to take the time to say a bit about how Dear Cupid has had a positive impact on my life. Well, I first joined this site in April. I had some free time on my hands, as I had to give up my demanding college course so I could focus on r...
A. 7 August 2009: your reputation speaks for itself. Your score and your answers are strong.... you know this inside you are good. - Use this ability to change yourself into what you want to be.
you are always better than you know! Don't think!
You know the... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with this relationship now hes single?
Q. I met a guy at work four years ago, he had a girlfriend of about five years then, but we would see each other at work and away from work. he recently left that job and lives about an hour and a half from me now and three months ago he broke up with ...
A. 2 August 2009: yes - Are you waiting for a written invitation in gold ink? go live and enjoy.
Star.x.... (read in full...)
They want photos of me with no clothes on!
Q. 0k.. I am currently single but i talk to a LOT of guys they always send me dirty pictures of themself but they want me so send them a dirty picture of myself and i take some HOT pictures but i have clothes on and they want pictures with my clothes ...
A. 2 August 2009: oh i wrote this - um 6 months ago...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-fun-to-take-pictures--why.html
Kind of relevant...
Star.x. ... (read in full...)
I've only let it get to a peck on the lips. I've no desire so should I really be with him?
Q. I'm 27 and I've never been in a proper, long-term relationship. First, work got in the way and then I had a few very short term relationships with guys who didn't treat me well. Recently I met a great guy. He's so nice, treats me really well, res...
A. 2 August 2009: ... hmm in chemistry sometimes the throw in catalysts to get things to go bang. I don't think that would work here.
I think its best to let him know there is no magic chemistry and you are sorry. It will hurt, he will be upset. But thats bett... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to make the first move?
Q. hi all ..... got a question for you or rather in need of help .. here it goes... I met a guy recently in a club abroad who used to be my childhood sweet heart at school i havnt seen him in ages... when i saw him i was gob smacked still scho...
A. 2 August 2009: hmmm sigh time ticks on - do you normally wait for written invitations?
- the joy of love - how to appear keen but not to keen....
Just say hi i enjoyed dancing with you the other night - would you like to meet up sometime.
Sta... (read in full...)
Is she not orgasming because she is still not over her ex?
Q. My girlfriend is going through a divorce and she has a child with her soon to be ex-husband. She goes over to his house when it is time for her to get her daughter, and she goes into his house. She had him pick her up from the airport when I was ...
A. 2 August 2009: you are wrong. you have two things going on here and trying to link them is not the right thing to do.
the non - orgasm stuff as Satin says is from one of million things- mostly the thought of non orgasming that's causing it. Talk to her and buil... (read in full...)
They want photos of me with no clothes on!
Q. 0k.. I am currently single but i talk to a LOT of guys they always send me dirty pictures of themself but they want me so send them a dirty picture of myself and i take some HOT pictures but i have clothes on and they want pictures with my clothes ...
A. 2 August 2009: NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and once again NO.
what are they going to do with the pictures? apart from get themselves off - show them to their friends publish them on Stupidcowwhoshowedmenakedpicturesbecauseisaidshewashot.com
maybe give them to... (read in full...)
No sexual chemistry anymore
Q. I'm afraid,, me and my husband has no sexual chemistry anymore. We never hug in the bad,and never make love. He never says I ;m pretty,and he never looks at me nice. He had erection problems ,no medical reasons,and the relationship slowly turn...
A. 2 August 2009: well first thought when things turn cold is to try turning up the heat. Talk to him find the things he enjoys and try and do them - from just sitting curled up on the sofa to pracing around in your underwear. Talk to him and find what he likes and ... (read in full...)
What is Love?
Q. I wrote this for someone else in a discussion about what is love...this is my 1000th post. Salutations to you all, its been a fun journey. Hugs Star.x. What is real love... Love, has long been studied by artists, the clergy, scientists,...
A. 2 August 2009: Anon,
Valid points - To make those decisions - what do you need first? you need something to trigger it?
Whilst i agree this could be a chicken and egg story - you need the decision to encourage the emotions, which in turn need the emotion... (read in full...)
What DearCupid means to me
Q. I wanted to take the time to say a bit about how Dear Cupid has had a positive impact on my life. Well, I first joined this site in April. I had some free time on my hands, as I had to give up my demanding college course so I could focus on r...
A. 2 August 2009: Samantha,
you are one of the truly great aunts on here - you know enough of the world that both evil and stupidity never sleep.
you have learnt your lessons the hard way and choose to benefit others rather then keep them to yourself. Be... (read in full...)
Squishing menacing creatures.
Q. I posted this before: different screen name though. Instead of telling you how it relates to relationships this time, i'd really like to see who all can figure it out. I may get more insite on is relativity than i ever did think of myself. Apri...
A. 26 July 2009: once again imagine.... you are millipede happily scurrying to find food and with the clearing of decaying matter.... when suddenly whoosh bang you are attacked - you have no form of defence, except to run.... and before you know it you are split in ... (read in full...)
Squishing menacing creatures.
Q. I posted this before: different screen name though. Instead of telling you how it relates to relationships this time, i'd really like to see who all can figure it out. I may get more insite on is relativity than i ever did think of myself. Apri...
A. 26 July 2009: Good afternoon, Sincerely yours, :)
I now have the song "the female of the species is more deadly than the male" in my head.... i thought it was a spider when I read it....
Millipedes eat decaying matter leaves and such like. But not normally... (read in full...)
Do men get put off a girl who is too open?
Q. guys - do you get turned off when a girl is too open? ...
A. 26 July 2009: in what way? in a y shaped coffin way or tells you everything way or declares love quickly or not at all?
Star.x.... (read in full...)
Squishing menacing creatures.
Q. I posted this before: different screen name though. Instead of telling you how it relates to relationships this time, i'd really like to see who all can figure it out. I may get more insite on is relativity than i ever did think of myself. Apri...
A. 26 July 2009: Whilst I admire your unquestionable skills as a hunter ....you killed a thing that kill other things. However the things it kills are things that spread diseases and infections etc. so did you really win?
Maybe next time you need to capture ... (read in full...)
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