I find I am propping up my boyfriend financially. What should I do?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have being dating for 8 months now. What do I do? I can't afford to give him anymore money:( So my boyfriend is having finical problems at the moment and I've helped him. He works but he doesn't save for a rainy day. He...
A. 2 February 2014: If he has a house he has bought then that's his savings, he has put his money into his home.
As he has a room mate then he must be,I assume, getting rent off him so has his own wages plus rent coming in.
DO NOT give him money, you may need it ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and stopped smoking. How do I help my partner quit the habit as well, without nagging?
Q. I could do with some advice on how to encourage my partner to quit smoking. We both used to smoke but when I fell pregnant 4 months ago I quit immediately and haven't touched one since, nor do I desire too as quite frankly the smell of them makes ...
A. 2 February 2014: He will only stop when he is ready to. You are carrying the baby so it's great you kicked the habit. For him its clearly a lot harder.
There are electronic cigarettes which seem to help, maybe that's an option?
Most people I know that quit d... (read in full...)
Four years and I still haven't moved on from my first love
Q. So here is my problem. I cannot seem to get over my ex boyfriend! He was my first love, we were together for 6 years and for 95% we were happy. However it ended with us both cheating on one another (I know - couldn't have been that happy right...
A. 2 February 2014: In this scenario I would cut all contact with your Ex, even after 4 years your still not letting go.
When you do meet somebody special your heart and mind need to be free to let them in.
Your 'stuck' in the past, he was your special first lo... (read in full...)
I am my boyfriend's last priority when wer're around his family and friends. I feel as though he doesn't care. Please advise.
Q. I feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. Whenever my other half (of six years) is around his family or his friends I very quickly become last priority. I could be left there alone at a table without him speaking to me for ages, and occa...
A. 2 February 2014: Why can you not go talk to his family and friends without him, he doesn't need to hold your hand surely. After 6 years you must know them all pretty well so can socialise with them as easily as he does.
Are you a shy person - a different personal... (read in full...)
Stepmother issue: I want to reconnect with my Dad, just my Dad and I. Am I being unreasonable? Honest opinions please
Q. I spoke to my dad the other day on the phone for the first time in a while. I've never lived with him and he has recently married his long-term girlfriend, who I have never got on with. When I was younger and obligated to stay with him occasion...
A. 2 February 2014: Absolutely not,stick to your guns. He should be honoured that you are prepared to spend time with him.
That you do not wish his wife to be there is up to you, your asking no more than a little of his time to build a relationship of some sort. Sh... (read in full...)
How much is too much in weekends away with friends?
Q. Can anyone help me as a married girl of 32 decide where to draw the line on whats acceptable in marriage in regards to weekends away with friends. My partner has always been selfish and spent new year with his mates in edinburgh. I was working so ...
A. 29 January 2014: I can see both points of view here. Your working so can't go, he's at home alone, waiting for you to come home knowing he can go up there, see friends and enjoy himself.
Maybe he could go someplace that doesn't involve a whole 4 days away this tim... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my parents' divorce?
Q. My parents are getting a divorce, and it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life so far. How do I deal with this? Both of them have used me, and I have been the messenger, and while one of them has tried to keep being a pa...
A. 10 January 2014: Be thankful you are not 7years old.
As much as it hurts try to stay neutral, unless one parent really disgusts you. Chances are they have waited until you are a young adult before they split up. Its not your fault and however much it hurts no... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 10 January 2014: You may not wish to lose your wife but you will if you carry on down this route.
Focus on spending the time you devote to this so called 'friend' on your wife and kids instead, they are your future, you took vows.
How would you feel if your wif... (read in full...)
What are some free or available and affordable mental health resources I can use and access in the UK? (just the UK only please) I need help please
Q. I live in London and I desperately need mental health rehab, as in, to go somewhere and check myself in where I can get 24hr care. Such as for a few weeks. I know that there are private places like this available but are extremely costly. Does any...
A. 10 January 2014: A friend in your situation, with deep depression and anxiety was so frustrated she booked herself into the local mental health unit. She had had treatment via medication for many months via her GP and it didn't help, her friends supported her but we ... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend is 31 years older than her!
Q. I have a 19-year-old daughter, an only child; she's in university studying medicine, and wants to work in the NHS. It's not her university I'm writing in about, but her choice of partner; he's 50, and a bathroom salesman. I'm not criticising his ...
A. 6 January 2014: So many girls at Uni fall in love for the first time only to get their heart broken.
If she does take him to student parties I am sure he will feel out of place and the age gap will be a huge issue amongst her friends and comments made after a... (read in full...)
I'm so worried about finding a partner because I'm so out of synch with everyone else!
Q. Can anyone help generally with a predicament that I seem to continually get into about finding a partner as my own life seems to still be 'out of synch' with everyone else's pattern? I'm in my mid forties and would like a partner around the same ...
A. 6 January 2014: A very quick response as I am off out. First stop looking and enhance your life. I have booked 2 long weekends away in Europe already this year, something to look forward to and a chance to meet new people out of my normal circle.
Don't be a peo... (read in full...)
Her leaning into me felt good, does it mean I could ask her out?
Q. I go to this gym where while group exercising they check the heart rate of the exercisers at random. There are 2 or 3 instructors who do the checking. Yesterday a girl checked mine while I was on the exercise bike. She did what no other had done, ...
A. 6 January 2014: Its enough to start a conversation with her next time you go, then you will have an idea where you stand.... (read in full...)
What did he mean, "you don't have to sell your soul"
Q. Hello, I have been having an affair with a separated man. He has been separated for 5 years but remains in close contact with his wife who lives close by. She has never found anybody else and always hopes they will get back together. He has been ...
A. 6 January 2014: The devil remark is the least of your worries here. His actions are worse. After 3yrs you spend very little time together in general, he is closely involved with his Ex wife's life and they still have sex!
I work a lot of hours and worked during t... (read in full...)
He turns up on my doorstep, yet in 10 years has never invited me into his home. Should I get back with him?
Q. I have know a guy for 30 years. I have two children from someone else and that did not work, so Id re-linked with this guy. We continued from where we left off, it was very natural. He has other children too. I now have a 10 year old fathered...
A. 4 January 2014: I am surprised you managed to have a child together. You have never been to his home, he won't communicate and he comes and goes from your life as it suits him
Just because he puts on decent clothes and looks at you in a certain way - doesn't ... (read in full...)
My father has become even more controlling since my mum was diagnosed with a brain tumor
Q. My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour on the day before Christmas Eve. Since then our family has all been together, trying to support my mum. My Dad is very details obsessed kind of guy. There are all these palliative care nurses, district ...
A. 4 January 2014: He is still in shock, in a way angry,its only been a short time since this diagnosis was delivered.
He perhaps needs counselling or just somebody to talk to, outside the family.
He is trying to cope with the news, the fact he will lose her. T... (read in full...)
I'm excited and proud to be married, he hasn't told anyone
Q. I just got married after dating for 5 years. Due to having minor kids my divorce decree said I couldn't cohabit with anyone. My new husband understood that and supported me in getting married. It was a lovely short ceremony at his (now our) home ...
A. 3 January 2014: As his parents were present at the wedding and you have told 'everyone' - then his sisters will find out soon enough, if they haven't already.
I am surprised they weren't invited instead of using friends as witnesses or guests. Perhaps they are... (read in full...)
I'm trapped in a bad marriage and I have feelings for a married man who's in a similar situation like me. Have any of you been in this situation before and did anything ever come of it especially when both of you had children?
Q. Could this man be my soul mate? I have been married for almost 10 years, and I am an extremely faithful and understanding wife. Although people get married with the intention of loving in good times and in bad, I feel like I have been through ...
A. 3 January 2014: If your marriage cannot be fixed then do your husband and yourself a favour and split up.
This 'other' man is a pipe dream, not the answer to your problems. He is married and so are you, you and he are strangers - not 'twins'.... (read in full...)
I've just had a baby and I am stressed, stressed, stressed!
Q. Where to begin! Just gave birth to my baby who I am very protective of due to losing a baby in the past. My in laws can't seem to understand why I will only leave my baby with my mum if/ when I go out. When I go their to visit with my partner his ...
A. 3 January 2014: The reason your SO stressed is because you HAVE just become a mother your body, hormones and life have to adjust.
I don't see why you would need to 'leave' your new baby with anyone for ages yet so I don't know why this is an issue - unless y... (read in full...)
Should I change my look to attract a better man?
Q. What am I doing wrong in dating? I want to preface by saying that I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for five years until I walked away. A big reason why I walked away was because after enough was enough I also fell for so...
A. 12 December 2013: Or this......
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00htyc7... (read in full...)
Should I change my look to attract a better man?
Q. What am I doing wrong in dating? I want to preface by saying that I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for five years until I walked away. A big reason why I walked away was because after enough was enough I also fell for so...
A. 12 December 2013: Or this......
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00htyc7... (read in full...)
Should I change my look to attract a better man?
Q. What am I doing wrong in dating? I want to preface by saying that I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for five years until I walked away. A big reason why I walked away was because after enough was enough I also fell for so...
A. 12 December 2013: Have you ever seen a UK programme (or have one over there) called 'Snog,Marry,Avoid'?
http://www.ovguide.com/tv/snog_marry_avoid.htm
... (read in full...)
Do I date him? I find his personality crazy attractive, but I just don't find him very attractive.
Q. Hi, first of all thank you so much for any help! I'm in a bit of a bind. Backstory: I'm a freshman in college, and I entered college not looking for a relationship. In HS I had two year and a half long relationships, and I entered college wanting ...
A. 11 December 2013: If you don't find him physically attractive then he is no more than a friend.
Don't lead him on and give him false hope if your not sure, he has already told you he has decided to see you exclusively so he's shut off other options.
I think... (read in full...)
Why does he keep on liking and then disliking my Facebook posts?
Q. Long story short, I'm 18, I dated a guy for about two months this summer, our relationship ended by him blocking me on facebook (still have no idea why and still kind of like him). A month ago he added me back because we had to talk about a school ...
A. 11 December 2013: He sounds like he has no life.
It takes time to sit liking and disliking posts, why would you want to do that - if he wanted your attention, which he has now, he could simply phone or text you.
Just hide your posts from him or block him comple... (read in full...)
I really like him so how should I proceed?
Q. I met a guy last week and invited him to a music jam night. He came along, and that was great, but by the time he arrived I was already talking to s group of guys and he then got cornered by a woman, who then asked 'is that your girlfriend? ' and he ...
A. 10 December 2013: He's interested,,,did he take your number - how did he leave it - see you soon or when can I see you?
He knows you have male friends and admirers so your going to have to show him your interested in HIM so he has the confidence to proceed.... (read in full...)
My negativity is hindering my happiness
Q. I am having a REALLY difficult time. I have found myself over the last couple of years becoming more and more disillusioned with life and society. It really worries me but everything about society gets me down. I won't go into too many details...
A. 10 December 2013: In other words your glass is half empty while your girlfriends is half full.
First thing, do you work?
Do you have a close family and friends?
Do you isolate yourself and not have any company except your girlfriend?
My job en... (read in full...)
My sister is jealous of my boyfriend
Q. Myself and my sister used to be the best of friends. We were closer than anything, I'd never been closer to anybody else my whole life (She's 21, I'm 19). However, over the last year or so, something's changed. I've always had a lot more friends ...
A. 10 December 2013: She went away in summer and you didn't go with her, so it's ok for her to have some 'me' time then?!
Just don't mention him to her, ask her what's going on in her life, show her you haven't forgotten her. Have a shopping day together or a night of... (read in full...)
I absolutely hate the degree that I'm doing and cant even get myself to finish it but what will my parents say?
Q. Hi guys, I know this isn't the usual kind of question but i've been on this site before and always been impressed with the advice and guidance given so i thought i'd try it out. I've spent the past 3 years doing a degree that i shouldn't ...
A. 2 July 2013: Hi
Are your parents funding you through Uni or do you have a student loan? If you have a loan then I can't imagine your parents being too upset as your paying - provided you end up with a job/career of some sort that makes you happy, they will be ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend look for a job like he said he would?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend has asked to be left alone at the moment. However, I dont know why. Before he texted me this, we had a quick mobile conversation about him saying that he's been feeling down recently because he doesn't have much money. Which I ...
A. 30 June 2013: Hi
The life he wants - the holiday, moving in together are impossible pipe dreams for him at the moment. The job situation is dire with hundreds of applicants for each position. The things he wants highlight his lack of job and money.
If he h... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be this game he wants to play?
Q. Ok 5 years ago I fell in love with aman 12 yr older than me I am 27 and over the years he took my love as a game I feel he has no care at all. Till I get his total attention him in love or at least acting to be when we are alone. We broke up I liv...
A. 30 June 2013: Hi
Puzzled why you went back to him when you sounded so much happier when your single.
Why let him play you, why not simply walk away and STAY away, all he does is make you miserable.
Your not children anymore so do the adult thing and leav... (read in full...)
Will he ever say "I love you"?
Q. hello everyone.....I have a question which may sound silly but its really messing with my emotions right now. I met this guy we have been officially going out for nearly 2 months. I told him I loved him which I know I do so please don't say I cant...
A. 28 June 2013: Hi
If and when he loves you he will say it and show it with his actions towards you.
You haven't dated for long at all, just a few weeks, so he will be making his mind up still, getting to know you, enjoying the sex, your still in the 'honeymoo... (read in full...)
We've only met once, in a LDR..do all men lose interest?
Q. We've been dating for over a year now and met only once (different countries). I love the everyday talking (chatting on facebook) which usually lasts 30 mins-an hour but sometimes when we aren't busy I want to talk more but he says it's too much. ...
A. 25 June 2013: Hi
I don't see this thing you have going as dating or being in any kind of relationship.
You talk for half hour a day so the other 23 and a half hours are spent getting on with your lives in another country.
You have met once in over a ... (read in full...)
New to "this dating scene" please help
Q. Why is it that at 27, i finally decide to get into the dating scene after feeling guilty about missing out by not having the college, dorm life, on top of having to deal with jerks usually dating girls that I like. Already girls don't care, and are ...
A. 24 June 2013: Hi
Your not too old to date, you are too young to sit in a room playing video games as life passes you by though.
If you want to go clubbing, go. If you want to go to a Bar every weekend, do it. There are lots of ways to get out there and so... (read in full...)
FWB...is am I in for a bad break?
Q. I've been in a fwb relationship for 6 months. I knew within the fourth month, I had very deep feelings for him. I have voiced how I feel about him and even explained that he is my fantasy. He was just outta really bad breakup and new to my area. ...
A. 24 June 2013: Hi
He told you he likes you alot but is not ready for a relationship. He is just out of a really bad break up too.
The fact he has told you all this shows he is being honest. He wants NSA sex and that's what he has with you.
One person almo... (read in full...)
What happened to the chemistry?
Q. okay my guy and I have had a relationship before with a child. split up 14 years later we have been back together going on 2 years. we've alwys have had hot chemistry even when we weren't together. problem is it seems like since we've become more ...
A. 22 June 2013: Hi
Its hard to give a specific reason, only he knows the answer to it.
Could be he is tired after a busy week, could be his sex-drive is less than yours, could be he just doesn't want sex with you as much after all these years.
You do... (read in full...)
I want my ex back but need to know how he feels he has a g/f!
Q. Hello! So I'm a bit confused. I am still interested in my ex boyfriend. Every new guy that I meet reminds me how much I want my ex. Recently I met up with my ex for dinner. It was nice to see him. We talked a lot- about random things and about wh...
A. 22 June 2013: Hi
During dinner he told you why it did not work out, he was doing you a favour really, helping you to see where you went wrong from his view. He can talk objectively now because he has moved onto a new relationship.
You know he is right so y... (read in full...)
Just started talking, then nothing?
Q. Utterly confused and hoping someone could please shed some light! Been flirting with a guy that works in a store I shop in once a week. Really felt a lot of tension between us, definitely a connection. Two days ago we spoke for quite a while. H...
A. 22 June 2013: Hi
Good for you making the move and giving him your number. He used it too so I would stop stressing, carry on as normal and see what happens when you go back to the shop.
His phone could be off for various reasons so if he's single you don't... (read in full...)
Ideas for fun first dates?
Q. You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women be...
A. 22 June 2013: Hi
How about a gallery then lunch, depends where you live in UK and what's available in the day. There might be a outdoor show or fair as its summertime which can be fun, chatting, eating hotdogs etc as you wander round... (read in full...)
Fiance wanted a break, he's talking to another woman about but isn't trying to fix things. What does he want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if anyone can help - five weeks ago my fiance and partner of three years, who I lived with along with his little girl, told me that he was unsure of his feelings for me and we should have a break. I was devastated - we only got eng...
A. 22 June 2013: Hi
This is over, its run its course and the woman he met on the charity do is wanting him for herself. Let her have him.
Yes your 30+ and back at home, but so what, at least you HAD somewhere to go. Don't compare yourself to others just thin... (read in full...)
Its been 3 weeks since I've heard from him but I don't understand his Houdini disappearing act?
Q. Hi I would like some advice.I was in a relationship for 6months. We took it very slow at the beginning. He told me he had alot of wounded damage from his previous relationships and he was hurt in the past, but his ex was no longer in the picture. so ...
A. 21 June 2013: Hi
Sounds like he has issues with all relationships, most folk have one or even two bad experiences but he tells you about being hurt and also being wounded from his past experiences,like none were good.
You seemed to play his therapist in a w... (read in full...)
Is this a FWB arrangement?
Q. Hi everyone i have been having (protected) sex with this man i met 3 years ago was had sex last night all night the last time we had sex was 6 months ago as i met someone in that time we had broken up when i slept with this man i was wondering is ...
A. 21 June 2013: Hi
I would say you were a booty call, if all you two do is have sex then that's all it is and has been.
If you want more with him then stop the sex completely and see how he behaves toward you.If he steps up, dates you, forms a proper relations... (read in full...)
Should I give this jerk who dumped me a piece of my mind or not give him the satisfaction?
Q. I would love your opinion about this. I was dumped today by a low life, cheating prick. He came to my house to tell me. I am really upset by not only the fact he did it but by how he did it and how unfeeling and cold he was about it. He came t...
A. 21 June 2013: Hi
Ofcourse your angry, but he at least came and told you face to face, that won't have been easy for him, he's not a coward.
Don't email or phone him. You will regret it when you have calmed down.
Phone a friend, in fact get them all round ... (read in full...)
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