If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 6 June 2014: Good luck to you, if your both happy to continue then alls well!
Don't write off dating though as we never know who is round the corner, you may meet somebody whilst on a city break.
Or you may continue with your friend until your 90.
Its ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...
A. 25 April 2014: I wish I had a pound for every heart broken by somebody at Uni, I would be a rich woman.
I have seen the devastation it causes from anorexia to just giving up Uni altogether
At least you gave it your best shot, which is all you can do.
N... (read in full...)
Is his ego bruised? How do I make him feel better?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles ,i have been dating a wonderful man for 18months and everything seems to be going well .but he recently lost his job and although i have offered to support us until he finds a new job ,he seems to have become distant and ...
A. 24 April 2014: Poor bloke, losing his job is losing a way of life.
Don't pity him, he must sort this out himself. As somebody else said make him feel useful, ask him to service your car or put up shelves...anything like that will help pass time and keep him feel... (read in full...)
I found out my married lover is not planning on getting divorced after all! Who should I confront, him or his wife?
Q. I fell for my coworker who told me that his wife had left him, only to find out from another colleague that they are actually planning buying a new house together! I feel so stupid and sick to the stomach, but I can't bring myself to say anything...
A. 23 April 2014: I have been the innocent wife, my husband had been seeing this particular woman for over 2 years. I was oblivious until after he left.Then, eventually, the truth came out.
I trusted him throughout our marriage, seems he was a serial cheater.... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 23 April 2014: You sound like a lawyer!
I would just let the FWB know your now dating and won't be 'available' anymore. You don't have to, but it's an adult thing to do, rather than just cut all contact and vanish.
That way your being fair to the new woman an... (read in full...)
My wife's turning into a slob
Q. Hi, My wife's tidying habits leave a lot to be desired. We've been married 10 yrs and previously I let it go to young kids and caring for her mum. But now her mum is no longer here and the kids are at school full time. Examples are finishing a ...
A. 23 April 2014: Take a few days annual leave, while the kids are at school, spend some quality time together, alone, communicate.Go out for the day,have lunch.Surprise her with this.
Find out what's bothering her, if she's depressed or mourning her mum.
... (read in full...)
My cheating ex husband is moving on and I am stuck in poverty with the kids!
Q. Hi there guys, i really need help. I filed separation from my ex on account of cheating and abusive behaviour about 18 months ago. 2 children remain with me. When they went for a visit to their dad I have come to understand that he's sharing the ...
A. 22 April 2014: At least you get CSA, a lot of women don't - that's the only plus though.
Your finances will be sorted out during the divorce. Once the divorce is sorted, and access, then you too can move on afterwards, just as he has, at least you have a roof o... (read in full...)
My wife's turning into a slob
Q. Hi, My wife's tidying habits leave a lot to be desired. We've been married 10 yrs and previously I let it go to young kids and caring for her mum. But now her mum is no longer here and the kids are at school full time. Examples are finishing a ...
A. 22 April 2014: So talk to her, sit her down and ask her why she doesn't like housework.Find out if she is mourning or depressed.
If she cooks,shops does the laundry and cares for the children well - maybe that's how she sees her SAHM duties.
What does she... (read in full...)
Is what I'm doing such a bad thing?
Q. I am in a long term relationship but I still speak to an ex without my partners knowledge. Is this really that wrong? I know having my cake and eating it will probably spring to mind but it's really not like that. My boyfriend is a great guy an...
A. 22 April 2014: It's wrong because your boyfriend is loyal to you by disliking your Ex, because he hurt you, the you he loves and cares about.
While you may have forgiven the Ex, become friends again, your current man is oblivious to this - so you are making a... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about it!
Q. I'm worried about this. My boyfriend and I have had some problems lately. We sorted things out recently, but this is worrying me. I looked on his facebook page today ( he asked me to log in to it, as he wanted to check it on my phone ). I saw some ...
A. 22 April 2014: Why are you two not living together - or is this a newish relationship?
You appear to have been having problems since early December, maybe longer, and as I said before he's very immature, am shocked he's 50 to be honest.
I don't think this... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about it!
Q. I'm worried about this. My boyfriend and I have had some problems lately. We sorted things out recently, but this is worrying me. I looked on his facebook page today ( he asked me to log in to it, as he wanted to check it on my phone ). I saw some ...
A. 21 April 2014: Sounds like he had a drunken FB day to me.
If he had anything to hide he would hardly have let you access his messages and page.
How old is he as he sounds pretty immature?... (read in full...)
I really don't know what I want to do in life and I feel so useless!
Q. I really do not know what I want to do with my life and its sending me into a horrible mind state. I've got a degree in business management, I took this opportunity because at the time I was advised it was the best option. However now I'm wishing ...
A. 17 April 2014: You can't be that thick, you got a degree! My niece has the same one and it was hard work.
If your a caring person then maybe nursing's for you?
What you do is go see a careers advisor at say,Connections or your old Uni and sit down with them t... (read in full...)
He changed his relationship status and I'm confused!
Q. Hello all:) okay so here is my question... i met this guy online about 6years ago. A year later i finally agreed to meet him, and it was great - no awkward silences etc. It felt as if i had known him my whole life. he works on cruise ships, an...
A. 17 April 2014: He was basically keeping you on the back burner until he found a replacement, which he now has.
By you still responding to his messages, even as a 'friend', you gave out the message that even though you were in a relationship, you weren't 'off lim... (read in full...)
Does the CEO like me?
Q. Hello. I really like this guy from work. His really out my league. His the c.e.o, single and very friendly. When i first met him he was very warm and friendly. But i get so shy around him. So i try to avoid him. But i need to work with him ...
A. 16 April 2014: Do not risk your job, focus on your work.
He is doing his job and doing it well, he is encouraging you and praises you - that's his professional role.
There is no evidence what so ever he likes you romantically from what you have written.
... (read in full...)
Is he too bossy or too keen?
Q. Should I be put off by this ?. I have been meeting up with a guy that I met recently. He has told me that he would like to date me, but I'm not sure what to do yet. I recently broke up with someone, and I still miss him. This guy tried to call...
A. 16 April 2014: He sounds fine to me, he probably just wonders why you keep making excuses not to see him.
You don't sound ready to date yet and that's fair enough. Don't lie to him anymore just tell him you need recovery time before you see another man
I... (read in full...)
Is there one person you've never got over?
Q. Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...
A. 15 April 2014: I don't know that you will shake them. Your happily married with children and he is still in your thoughts.
I have been in love more than once but got over them eventually. Yes I may think about them here n there over the years if I do somethin... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is involved in criminal activity!
Q. This is going to sound like a really weird question but I feel like I'm going round and round in circles and going mad. I think my boyfriend is into some criminal stuff. I don't actually have physical evidence of this, apart from what I have seen ...
A. 15 April 2014: I think he has just been 'getting by' financially whilst not working, maybe dodgy but not uncommon. You say he is starting a job soon, so maybe he will change.
I find the way, even after you driving up to his place, he asks for space and you happ... (read in full...)
Does a girl have a right ask for a Bf stay in some Sundays instead of going out every week
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. My problem relates to my boyfriend of 4 years as we had a bit of a disagreement earlier today. Basically, he is good friends with my best friend's boyfriend. They have just moved in together, whereas me and my bf sti...
A. 15 April 2014: The perfect solution would be for your 2 boyfriends to share a flat and you 2 girls to share instead.
Neither of the lads sound ready to compromise or consider a partners needs, whereas you 2 girls 'are' ready.
Is he really for you?
... (read in full...)
How real are those 'hook up tonight' websites?
Q. I was tempted to lie about my age when I was posting this question because anyone as experienced as I am have must leaned these lessons by now but I have not. When my marriage dissolved I had been with him from the time I was 14 until i was 27. ...
A. 13 April 2014: So, in the last 2 years of dating this man has he ever been open, honest not cheated or used porn?
Get on the computer and check out the websites for yourself, you will get a rough idea who you are seeing as a potential husband.
Learn about... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...
A. 13 April 2014: Why not improve your own income in some way? Men are not walking pay cheques/sperm donors.
(You should be able to roughly guess an income bracket a man's in by his home, car, lifestyle)
... (read in full...)
Is it just human nature to be never thankful ?
Q. Hi I was wondering why sometimes in our lives when are having a normal life ; stable relationship and everything going on nicely ; we still think of our few crushes we had in our lives which makes us question that maybe this is something I don'...
A. 13 April 2014: Its 'the one who got away' syndrome.
Sounds like you need to inject some spontaneous fun/romance/quality time into your current relationship.
If you don't feed something it dies, so before your current becomes another one who got away, show y... (read in full...)
Do I confront him or ignore him when he makes these snide comments?
Q. Dearcupid, ive just stopped seeing a guy that i never should have seen in the first place. I was very lonely and his company made me feel good. The relationship started off great but it ended. I kno i am better off witout him. He had a lot of ...
A. 12 April 2014: I think I would be inclined to ignore them, and delete his texts without reading. If you react he will continue.
You are in an ideal position to cut him down to size with an appropriate comment or two, so try thinking of one.
The fact he d... (read in full...)
Late life dilemma.
Q. I have a dilemma I hope somebody can help me with. My partner and are both 61. We've been together 4yrs and are now engaged. The problem is that we live 35 miles apart and I am the one who does all the travelling. This is due to the fact that my ...
A. 12 April 2014: P.S.
Has he met your son and his girlfriend that live with you, and do they get on? Could be he doesn't want to come to you because of them, re privacy or whatever... (read in full...)
Why would my ex boyfriend get mad about me being with someone else and then assume I would tell my boyfriend about him?
Q. Recently my ex boyfriend started calling and texting me. He found out I've been talking to another guy. The new guy is in the army. I'm happy being with the army guy. Its just that my ex boyfriend is acting like doesn't like me being with someone ...
A. 12 April 2014: The Ex shouldn't have any opinion on your current relationship or future ones. Its none of his business. You shouldn't even be discussing it with him
Stop taking his calls and answering his texts. Its not fair on the new man.
Develop your ... (read in full...)
Late life dilemma.
Q. I have a dilemma I hope somebody can help me with. My partner and are both 61. We've been together 4yrs and are now engaged. The problem is that we live 35 miles apart and I am the one who does all the travelling. This is due to the fact that my ...
A. 12 April 2014: I can understand why this man is putting the child first, he has already lost his mum. At 11 he is still going to be around and a consideration for quite a few more years too.
Its hard to meet men as you get older, probably never an easy situatio... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who does drugs?
Q. Would this put you off someone ?. I met a guy recently. He seems really nice,and it seems like we have things in common, but something happened today which made me feel uncomfortable. I was in a pub with him. Another woman who was in the pub...
A. 12 April 2014: If all he does is creep about, sleep all day and be after his next 'fix' - then no don't date him, who would want to
If he works, has his life together and has a social smoke, so what?
I cannot stand heavy drinkers, I find them far worse t... (read in full...)
I thought he just wanted sex, so why would he text me afterward?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site . We text each other for a while and exchanged pictures . He asked if I wanted to meet up and stay the night at his and have a bit of fun . I agreed . When I met him he was really quiet and gave one word answers . I ...
A. 11 April 2014: Could be he has a girlfriend and felt guilty after the deed.
Could be your the first after he came out of a long term relationship.
Whatever the reason I definitely wouldn't get attached, I would move on. Sounds like he has, as he ignored your ... (read in full...)
Facebook friend question
Q. Just a quick question. I want to know would you think it was strange/weird if someone sends you a Facebook request when although you've chatted briefly you haven't exchanged names. Would you think it was odd how they managed to find out your na...
A. 11 April 2014: I would be curious as to who gave him your name or how he found out! It could be either flattering or stalkerish behaviour. Its hard to judge as you don't say how you met
I would just say sorry but I only add people I know well and ask him how ... (read in full...)
Work with my boyfriend at big ambitous company or fun risky independent?
Q. Hi People, I really need some urgent help. I've been offered a job at two places and one of them is with my current boyfriend of 10 years. I've many factors to consider and i'm at a total loss of what to do. Job one: Increases my profes...
A. 11 April 2014: If you take job one and once settled, relocate, as the commute is the major downside and would soon get too much. It sounds more professionally challenging and good for your career
If you take job two then you can stay living where you are, hav... (read in full...)
Has anyone lost the love of their life? Do I keep fighting? And how do I deal with the thought of her with someone else?
Q. Hi All, Here's my situation that I need advice on: I was dating a girl for around 6 month who I was madly in love with, she was the girl of my dreams, I have never been happier. Then all of a sudden one day she turns round to me and says s...
A. 10 April 2014: Time is the greatest healer. You may think she was the love of your life, but you were not hers.
Stop letting her be the focus of your life, stop contacting her.
Yes you probably feel like she will be the only girl you will ever love, but g... (read in full...)
Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?
Q. A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...
A. 9 April 2014: I think if he wanted more than friendship he would have asked you out. He's just a nice guy making you feel comfortable in the group.
He isn't shy and neither of you are teenagers.
As you are recently out of a bad relationship it's understanda... (read in full...)
How much is "too much" in looking up an ex on facebook?
Q. I know exes are exes for a reason ... And some people think that once an ex they should be gone and forgotten. But how often should one think about their ex if they have been split up for over three years and in a relationship with someone els...
A. 7 April 2014: If this person has moved on and is in a relationship then I would say don't look at all?
Why bother with an Ex after 3yrs anyway, especially by snooping on Facebook. Unless you are still interested... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship without causing too much trouble
Q. I'm in such a mess and it's my own fault. I met a guy whilst on holiday in Spain 6 years ago and we fell for each other immediately. We had a LDR for a few years and then he came to live here in the Uk and found himself a job teaching (he...
A. 7 April 2014: Just end it as soon as possible. There is no easy way.
You need to set him free to find somebody new and stop living a lie.
You have given it a go, it hasn't worked, you need to be true to yourself. If you are unhappy then you have no choice
... (read in full...)
Did my suggesting a daytime date put him off the idea? Should I cancel?
Q. After chatting online a guy asked to meet for dinner. I was happy to and we had a nice evening. We paid half each I had no problem with that. He since suggested I go to his for an eve meal. I feel this is too soon as he is an hour away to drive so ...
A. 3 April 2014: Forget him, your gut instincts are right... (read in full...)
Neither one of us is prepared to make the first move
Q. Dear friends, There is a colleague at work to whom I have been attracted to but I have never showed any interest in him because he,s 7 years younger than me. We went together to a business trip and we had a really good time without any explicit...
A. 2 April 2014: He likes a girl from the gym so I would forget him.
He sounds fickle and I am not overkeen on your work colleagues either - all sounds, from what you have said, very suspect.
I would try to meet somebody not associated with work, that also ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 1 April 2014: As you have been together 2 years and the problem is ongoing, it's time she sought help from her GP.
Yes it may be embarrassing but she knows you've stopped having sex so knows it's a problem in the relationship.
It's not deliberate on he... (read in full...)
I like him but he's 11 years younger then me
Q. So there's this guy I have been talking to and seeing for 8 months now. My mother says I should not date him or even think about it cause he's younger then me and that a relationship with him won't last. He say's he's interested in me, wants to be ...
A. 1 April 2014: Why not simply move to your own place - your 32 not 16 and can make up your own mind about who you have visiting without anyone commenting
Yes your Mum may be right, she sees him with you, maybe you should listen to her advice. I would certainl... (read in full...)
Are adults too busy to make new friends these days, do we not even try anymore?
Q. Do we not see those that are alone and may need a new friend? are we so suspicious of someone making small talk or being friendly, say when we meet them, that we ignore them for our own friends? or our own lives, family etc etc. Many ppl have bu...
A. 30 March 2014: My experience is most people have formed their 'clique' of friends and are suspicious of newcomers.
I don't add new people to FB, I use that to chat to people I know well or to see what's on in my area.
Personally I prefer animals, dogs es... (read in full...)
I try my best but he gets angry and irritated with me.
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving this way? I'm really upset.? My boyfriend is really upsetting me. He's get angry and irritated with me and is making me really upset. I'm a good girl. I try my best with him. I go to gym regularly to keep fit lo...
A. 30 March 2014: If your noticing other guys then your relationship with your boyfriend is over, it's run it's course.
Just because you go to the gym, keep fit, it doesn't make you a good girlfriend, but if that's what impresses him, appearance, then he's pre... (read in full...)
Don't know if I want to date him or get back with my ex
Q. Is it ok to go to watch a show at the theatre with a man that isn't your boyfriend?. What do you think about that?. I don't know if I want to date this guy, and I don't know if he wants to date me. I'm also not sure whether I will get back with my ...
A. 30 March 2014: Its a night at the theatre, no big drama. Unless your using the date to make your Ex jealous?
You need girl time not complications.... (read in full...)
How do we help an adopted child give a presentation about her life?
Q. Last year my brother adopted a wonderful 8 year old girl and she's fitting in very well with our family. Thing is, she's about to start my son's school and he had to do a life story project (with the help of an adult) two years ago when he was ...
A. 19 March 2014: I would ask the teacher or head to not include her in this.
They surely can't 'make' her do it, its upsetting for her already and its not until September.
Diverting her instead of her dwelling on it would help, making it sound like its no big ... (read in full...)
How on earth do I thank him for being so amazing?
Q. I have had a very tough year with problems at work and in my family and I can honestly say this has been the toughest year of my life so far. Through it all, my boyfriend has been a total camp. We've been together for a few years so we've shared ...
A. 19 March 2014: What a lovely refreshing post ;o)
How about a weekend away, a surprise? Or just write a poem or find appropriate song lyrics, print it out and give it to him,framed, with a ticket for him to his fave band
or buy him a special ring or bracelet... (read in full...)
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