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Upgraded husband!

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 November 2008: I received this story from a friend. I found it too funny not to share it with you! :) INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system pe...

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He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...

Q.   i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...

A.   21 February 2008: I think you should think again about talking with anybody who says anything like that to you. Probably he is just an immature little boy who has no idea what he is saying, but anyway, if someone says anything like that to you again you should either ... (read in full...)

She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship

Q.   Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...

A.   30 October 2007: p.s. Just wanted to add that from reading your first follow-up, it really does look like she did like you. You weren't crazy to believe that (in case you ever did :)). Whatever happened then is a mystery and you might never find out. She could have... (read in full...)

She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship

Q.   Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...

A.   30 October 2007: Hi again, Yes, I agree, it really would be nice to be told what is going on. To just stop contacting without explanation is not very nice since it leaves you wondering about it. It hurts a lot when these things happen, I know. I'm sorry it happ... (read in full...)

She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship

Q.   Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...

A.   28 October 2007: It sounds like she decided not to pursue this after all. How many times did you contact her? If only once or twice, maybe you could try one more time and just ask her how she is and that you miss talking to her. If you already did take contact many ... (read in full...)

I love her with all my heart...i just wish id met her later in life.

Q.   Okay, here's the situation, folks. I'm in a committed relationship with a woman I love. We're both in our late 20's, we've dated for nearly a year and we've just moved in together. My girlfriend really is my best friend and she's the closest thing ...

A.   28 October 2007: Hi, I see you made up your mind so no need for any more advice, just wanted to pop in to encourage you on the decision you made to talk to her about it. You sound like a smart and caring guy and if I was your girl I would be glad if you told me your... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant but he thinks I'm kidding!

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for a month. we got on really well at first and i practically moved in. after a while he saw and contacted me less and we broke up. but i missed my perod, took a test and it was positive.i tried to get in contact with ...

A.   28 October 2007: I think he has a responsibility as well to not impregnate women if not ready to become a father! If you decide to have the child it doesn't sound though as if he would be very good to have around anyway. I would say get him to take his financial ... (read in full...)

My husband now wants me to obey him, as head of the household. We cannot agree on this particular issue.

Q.   Hello I hope you can help me i'm at the end of my tether. I have been married very happily for 16 years. Recently my husband and I have been discussing how best to talk to our teenage daughter about sex. She already has a little knowledge l...

A.   28 October 2007: I think he is very worried and panicking over the fact that his little girl is growing up. It's one thing I wonder about though, what is it you are really arguing over? Is it that you are trying to decide what to pass on to your daughter as words of ... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend keeps allowing his mother to interfere to the point she does things to destroy us saying it's in his best interest?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and he has allowed his mother to interfer to the point we haven't been able to get married and we don't live together any more. She does things to destroy us and tells him it's all in his best interest. ...

A.   28 October 2007: Has he always been like this? It is not due to his mother being ill or anything? From what you wrote it sounds though as he could be a mummy's boy, as someone already put it. If he is above 40 yrs old, I would say he is beyond help here, he will ... (read in full...)

Why does she never take responsibility.

Q.   why is it that my girlfriend will never admit to doing or being wrong even when she knows it,is it just ignorance or pride as its driving me mad and a wedge between us ...

A.   28 October 2007: Why is it so important to you that she admit to be doing wrong? What are the issues? Is it that she always walk right over you not ever letting you have things your way, or is it that you just want her to admit to the human character of being able ... (read in full...)

I can't get divorced because of religious/ culteral reasons.

Q.   I have been married for 21 years. I have 2 children, both teenagers.My husband is a workaholic, we rarely spend time with each other. Since the birth of our last child in 1993 our sex life has dwindle to almost nothing. If we do have sex, i usually ...

A.   28 October 2007: I agree with the others about being careful with this other man. Not so much for moral reasons but for your own sanity. What you don't need right now is more messing with your feelings. You will be adding another problem instead of solving the ... (read in full...)

Is this a mid-life crisis?

Q.   i am very attracted to a young lady working in my office as an intern.i call her to my office on any excuse i can think of. We do have long conversations about any topic that comes up.We do enjoy talking to each other i believe. My problem is how to ...

A.   27 October 2007: Does your culture allow your wife to have more than one husband? Or is this just another case of life's not fair? Anyway, you are old enough to be able to calculate all the damagerisks here and I'm sure you'll find ways that you can feel at ease ... (read in full...)

Is it love or addiction?

Q.   Hey Aunts, My original post is here is you want to read: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-treat-her-like-a-princess-but-she.html I hav'nt spoken to my ex since sunday night, i was quite angry and I didnt part on good terms. Her depressi...

A.   27 October 2007: Hi, This doesn't feel like a good thing to say, but when you ask whether you should stick around to help her since you know depression is not an easy thing to go through, I can't help thinking that ok, but when will she start taking resp... (read in full...)

Do I stay safe or take a passionate gamble?

Q.   Alright, how to makes this short... I love two men. Man one I have been with for almost a year and a half and was engaged to for a week. But a big problem, he's cheated on me and he lies...ALOT! But he's stopped lying to me... I think. Man t...

A.   27 October 2007: Hi, I think that you should move out and live on your own. Then you date the one/ones you like until you are ready to settle your mind about what you are looking for in a man. Even if you would come to the conclusion that you like Man One most, you ... (read in full...)

Is he the one for me?

Q.   few months ago, I met this amazing guy. we chat everyday and met couple times, shortly I fell in love with him. but unfortunately, I found out that he's still in a relationship with other girl and just broke up 4 days before I know about their ...

A.   27 October 2007: Oh, I'm sorry, this must hurt a lot. I think he likes you but is not yet ready to go into a new relationship just yet. You met too early probably. Four days are usually not a good enough time period to get over a past relationship no matter whether ... (read in full...)

I want to live abroad. What do I do?

Q.   Hello sir, thanks very much for the oportunity geven to me to express my feelings. my question, please am from west africa nigeria, am a very honest young man. but because of the bad reputation of my country people, i find it very difficult to find ...

A.   27 October 2007: There might be dating agencies you can use. I think the best thing for you to do though is to get a job in an international company and from there get a change to be placed in an office abroad. If you don't already have a good education, get one. ... (read in full...)

Regrets from your youth? I missed out on the parties, the girls, been rather lonely and unpopular...

Q.   Do any of you guys ever have regrets from your youth? You know I am about to turn 30 and I look back on my life and it hasn't been that great. I mean I was a loner in high school. I never had any friends, never went to any parties, or went out with ...

A.   27 October 2007: Yeah, it bothers me sometimes that I wasn't brave enough to do what I wanted and instead listened too much on what other said was good for me to do in life. This is when it comes to education, career and so. When it comes to social life and having ... (read in full...)

How should I feel after 5 months?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with the most lovely guy for five months. The problem is I don't love him and he doesn't love me. I am not sure if I should by now? He is lovely, we get on really well and have fun together but I don't want to find ...

A.   27 October 2007: Hi, When I was 28 I moved together with a guy I wasn't in love with, we had then been a couple for 2 yrs. We were really good friends and I loved him as such. Needless to tell how hard decision it was to 5 yrs later brake up. I felt like I had wast... (read in full...)

Is he giving me space or ignoring me?

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago now. It's his 21st birthday in 2 days and I feel like I have to acknowledge him in some way, but don't want to look desparate. We'd been going out for 2 years, and were friends before that. He'd ...

A.   27 October 2007: You must be very sad still, I'm sorry this happened. I think it is very likely that he is giving you space to move on, actually I must say that it is very good of him to not call you and mess with your mind. Also, if he is still with the other girl ... (read in full...)

How can I get her for life friendship?

Q.   Hi, I love a girl so much that i want her to be my wife as the love is so much that i don't feel love for any other girl the way i feel for this girl. She's just 20yrs old and said she won't go into a relationship until she gets to higher institut...

A.   27 October 2007: I think that whatever happens, you must allow her to go through the education that she wants, otherwise she will always regret she stood her chance to get a good degree and that will hurt your future life together. Tell her how you feel and that you ... (read in full...)

Do most people "block" contacts once a long distance relationship goes bad? He's asking for space and keeps changing his mind.

Q.   My bf of over a year (long distance) turned around and said he needed time alone and space and distance to figure himself out. He cut all phone calls and said it was because he needs distance, and that he didnt see the reason why we should talk o...

A.   27 October 2007: Hi, It is not immature of you to block him or delete him. I did the exact circle as you: block, delete, readd, unblock. It was like since I couldn't talk with him about what happened (also long distance) I would just argue with this little icon inst... (read in full...)

I admitted to something I didn't do. How can I win him back?

Q.   I met a nice guy from Burbank, CA, and in the two months that we've been chatting we fell in love. Using his words, we found a connection. He's not been into a relationship for 5 long years and i've never been into a relationship for so long a time. ...

A.   27 October 2007: Oh, this must be very hard for you. It is very hard to sort things out when not seeing eah other face to face. How long time ago did this happen? It could be he needs some time to think this over. I think you should give a last shot to tell him... (read in full...)

Should I be threatened by his ex- girl friend?

Q.   Should I be threatened by his ex- girl friend, who called our home line and held the phone(twice tonight). It's a payphone, so I call the phone # and hold the phone (juvenile, yes I stopped), however, she proceeds to curse me then tell me how I'm ...

A.   27 October 2007: I believe that if she and he had something going on she wouldn't have to call you and say bad things to you. I think she does this because she has lost him and does this to you because she is hurt and want him back. My advice would be to not inte... (read in full...)

I'm feeling hurt and confused after unpleasants texts!

Q.   Things are really playing on my mind so i have to write my story again, im married with children but currently going through a speration for the last few months. because ive just not felt loved during my marriage and felt like i was always taken for ...

A.   25 October 2007: From what you have written here, it seems more like he should apologize to you. It is not very nice to tell you to get lost no matter what it was you were writing to him. Maybe you feel more vulnerable right now because of going through a ... (read in full...)

About being betrayed.

Q.   i am in love with a grl and she says she also loves me.i am 17 years old and she has stopped calling me in phone for 6 months but she used to send me mails but now it is also stopped.i think she was just playing with me or now she has got more ...

A.   25 October 2007: Hi, Does she know how you feel? Did you tell her? If you didn't, then maybe you should. Can you meet up with her or does she live far away? If she is close, go and see her and talk to her about how you feel, if she is far away, write her an e-ma... (read in full...)

Please tell me what you would do if in my situation. I really need your advice!!

Q.   Can someone tell me what the hell they would do in my situation? I'm 23 years old and live with my parents. I am completely independent and fully pay my way - EXCEPT that if I happen to get home from work and my parents have made some dinner...

A.   17 October 2007: Hi anonymous Canadian! I didn’t see this before, your follow-up didn’t come with notice :) Thank you for advice. I think you are perfectly right in that one shouldn’t stay around and try to adapt oneself, it will be killing the sole and spirit ... (read in full...)

Is living alone my destiny?

Q.   what can I do for my low self-esstem? How can i stop humiliating myself and those I love?How can I make myself to enjoy normal everydoay things? since i was child, was constantly told that I do not to love, nor be Loved at anytime...I tried to rewri...

A.   14 October 2007: I don't think you are beyond help. You are asking these questions because you are reflecting over your own and others lives and behaviours, which is a good thing. If you were told constantly from childhood that you don't love, and if you never felt ... (read in full...)

He's a father but not a daddy

Q.   I had a child when i was 15, i reget having a child so young but i dont regret having my daughter. Her dad came from a well off background and because of this didnt want to help raise her, he just sent money every week. I really wanted him to help ...

A.   14 October 2007: I don't think it is possible to get an adoption through without the father's consent. Why do you want your boyfriend to adopt her? If your daughter wants your boyfriend to be her father and he feels the same, then he could still make a terrific ... (read in full...)

He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...

Q.   i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...

A.   13 October 2007: Hi, You are very brave! Probably he is a little embarrassed only and maybe afraid you might have made a joke with him. Ask him again. If he says no again, it is his loss. Good luck, tell us how it goes!... (read in full...)

I feel left out.

Q.   is it to much to ask my for husband to involve me in his son's(my step son)life? like what ever decision he makes with his son's mother at least i should be notified. i feel horoble by me demanding such a thing but i thought it will make things ...

A.   13 October 2007: I agree with Friend Tom. I would also like to add, as having experience of having stepparents, that it is perfectly alright for you and your husband's son to create a relation on your own. My stepparents did that and as an adult I now feel very ... (read in full...)

What does my father want from me?

Q.   hi everyone! im 26 year old still single but had a boyfriend forr a year right now. a clear suggestion would be of use in my case, please help. im still living with my family with my 3brothers their wives and their child..to sum it up were all l...

A.   13 October 2007: If you are finacially independant to live on your own and if it doesn't put you in an awkward situation socially in your society as a whole, then moving to your own place could be a good idea. But if you can do this only with economic support from ... (read in full...)

I didn't know that a penis in a vagina could make you pregnant!

Q.   Hi Everyone, I am looking for a Little help. I am 18 years old, I had unprotected sex with my BF around 30 - 40 days Ago... I did not know that just inserting the Penis can also make a Girl Pregnant. I just recently came to know about it and i a...

A.   6 October 2007: You should get a test done pretty soon. IF you got pregnant you would now be somewhere around 4-5th week (counts from last periods first day) and a home test would work. It is also very important to test for diseases. Then do as Dr Pete says and ... (read in full...)

How can two men feel completely different about me in bed? Which one is right?

Q.   I have had two sexual partners in my life. I slept my with my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend. My ex boyfriend caused me to have horribly low self esteem because he always told me how horrible and cold I was in bed. He called me sexually ...

A.   5 October 2007: Your first boyfriend was a jerk who didn't care about you, therefore it was bad with him, but he should have blamed himself because it was his own fault for being a cold hearted jerk, not yours. Your present boyfriend is a caring guy who probably... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated and confessed and is trying to win me back

Q.   My boyfriend of a year and a half, who I was supposed to marry, recently told me that he got drunk one night and cheated. Well, I consider it cheating. A girl friend of his called and said she had nowhere to stay, so he told her she could stay at ...

A.   4 October 2007: Give yourself some time to think this over, to clear your head about it. It can take weeks or months, whatever you need. If you then still feel you love him and are ready to be with him again, you must also be ready to leave this behind you and not ... (read in full...)

I'm constantly tired. What's wrong with me?

Q.   Hello, i have a health problem. I am always tired, constantly tired and i fel like i have no energy at all. I am 18 now and it has been this way since i was about 9. I have had two blood tests since then for being tired, checking for anemia and diab...

A.   3 October 2007: Did they check for hyper- or hypo-thyroidism? You say you suffered this tiredness since 9-yrs old and thyroidism is very unusual at this age, but if you go back to doctors, ask them for a test anyway. It is simple, just a little blood test. I was ... (read in full...)

I am a kind person, matured early. When people I know die I don't feel sad, when they marry I don't care. I want to care, show affection. How to solve this?

Q.   Issues moving forward with relationships and other things... During the past few years, I have had nostalgic feelings and feelings of regret about my life prior to becoming an adult. At the age of 20, I really want to move forward and start accomp...

A.   3 October 2007: Hi again, Now I’m even surer you are not a sociopath. You have just been growing up learning how to suppress your feelings. It doesn’t mean they aren’t in there. The suggestion to see a counselor was for you to get help with sorting these things o... (read in full...)

I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?

Q.   Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...

A.   1 October 2007: That is a terrific idea, for you to write. I too would read it! :) Hope you're feeling better! ... (read in full...)

Please tell me what you would do if in my situation. I really need your advice!!

Q.   Can someone tell me what the hell they would do in my situation? I'm 23 years old and live with my parents. I am completely independent and fully pay my way - EXCEPT that if I happen to get home from work and my parents have made some dinner...

A.   1 October 2007: Wow! I fully agree with RCN, you ARE an amazing and empowered person! I’m glad to hear you’ve had the “old cogs turning”, let them take you all the way out to an independent life on your own. I have absolutely no doubts that you are not gonna make ... (read in full...)

Please tell me what you would do if in my situation. I really need your advice!!

Q.   Can someone tell me what the hell they would do in my situation? I'm 23 years old and live with my parents. I am completely independent and fully pay my way - EXCEPT that if I happen to get home from work and my parents have made some dinner...

A.   30 September 2007: My advice is that you take control over your own life. Move out on your own even if it scares you and you don't know what will come in future. Maybe your boyfriend will come after to move in with you, maybe he won't. Don't wait for it, go live your ... (read in full...)

When to be used and treated badly in a relation is a "need."

Q.   The last 5 boyfriends I've had have all been lovely, charming, romantic gentleman. Three of them have told me that they love me. But i am SICK of KNOWING that I'm the one thats going to have to end it. Im not the kind of girl who sits pining after a ...

A.   30 September 2007: You can have my broken heart for a couple of months :) I don’t think you should worry, it sounds like you are having a great time and meeting lots of fun people. I understand perfectly what you mean, pain is there to make you understand what goo... (read in full...)

Why can't he accept my heart belongs to him and stop being suspicious, when he loves me, maybe just as much?

Q.   im inlove with my man and someday hopefully i intend getting him to make me his wife,i want to love and be with him forever,but 1 snag he constantly accuses me of hiding things in my email yet i allow him full access to look at anything,it's so ...

A.   30 September 2007: I think you can’t make him stop being suspicious if that is how he is as a person. I think you must set up your own boundaries towards him, put your foot down on how far you are allowing him to go. If you keep giving him access to all of your ... (read in full...)

I am a kind person, matured early. When people I know die I don't feel sad, when they marry I don't care. I want to care, show affection. How to solve this?

Q.   Issues moving forward with relationships and other things... During the past few years, I have had nostalgic feelings and feelings of regret about my life prior to becoming an adult. At the age of 20, I really want to move forward and start accomp...

A.   30 September 2007: Hi, I think many people can feel like this at times, but if you have felt like this for very long time, then it is a problem. It doesn’t sound to me though that you don’t have any feelings at all. You express several feelings in your post, so I thin... (read in full...)

I don't have any friends to go out with or to take my mind off my Internet lover, after the break up, so what do I do?

Q.   i just broke up with my boyfriend who i met online but never actually met in person. we were together for one year and he ended it saying its not going anywhere and im wasting his time. he is completely ignoring me now. i love him. believe me ...

A.   29 September 2007: Of course you can love someone even though never having met. And it will always hurt when someone disappears from your life. You will get over it eventually but it helps to try and find something to occupy yourself with. You really need to get s... (read in full...)

She tells me she has an std, and then blames me.

Q.   Dear cupid, I have been married for a month now my wife came to me and said she had caught an std and the way she said it was like she was blaming me i have not been with any other women and she claims she hasn't been with any other men i think she'...

A.   29 September 2007: It is possible she got it much earlier and just didn't know about it until now. Some std:s take very long time until they show symptoms. Many people jump to conclusions and believe their partner must have been cheating when in fact the desease has ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with someone who makes me so happy... yet, so miserable as well. What do you think?

Q.   I need serious advice on how to handle this. I am in love with someone who makes me so happy yet so miserable at the same time. I lovemy girlfriend. Infact she is everything I could ever want right now. Problem is she fucked things up at the...

A.   29 September 2007: Hi, I think your girlfriend must be in a terrible mess if her boyfriend killed himself. It is very recent too. It seems to me that maybe she is trying to deal with her sorrows in this strange way. Sounds to me that she is not really ready to have... (read in full...)

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