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This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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20 November 2008: I received this story from a friend. I found it too funny not to share it with you! :) INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system pe...
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Is it possible for a man to not like sex?
Q. I'm confused. I started things a little late, but since I've reached 30, I've been with three women one time each. The first time, even though the girl I was with was attractive, I didn't feel turned on. I couldn't finish, and the whole ...
A. 24 November 2008: I think you just didn't meet the "right" women yet. Just hang on and don't think so much about it. The thoughts can in this case be your worse enemies! It will get better over time, I'm sure.
Wish you luck!... (read in full...)
Men have turned me into a Superbitch!! How can I stop being like this?
Q. Ever since the boy I was in love with finished with me for someone else I have turned into some nasty, evil girl who's out to hurt other people at no expense.This has been going on for a few months and today Ive only JUST realised what Ive been ...
A. 23 November 2008: Good girl! Now forgive yourself for everything that has happened. Why would we be harsch to you? I don't think there are anyone out there who have never fallen into doing anything similar at some point in their lifes. It is human. But it is hurting ... (read in full...)
At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past?
Q. At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past? I'm 20 yrs. old and this is really my first attempt at a serious relationship. I was a troubled teen. I used drugs and alcohol. I became sexually active at 14 and had literally dozens of ...
A. 21 November 2008: So you made up your mind. That's good. At least you won't have to worry about it anymore once you're done telling him. Don't worry too much, you are a good person and your past doesn't change that. I think he knows that.
I wish you luck! Tell us ... (read in full...)
Men have turned me into a Superbitch!! How can I stop being like this?
Q. Ever since the boy I was in love with finished with me for someone else I have turned into some nasty, evil girl who's out to hurt other people at no expense.This has been going on for a few months and today Ive only JUST realised what Ive been ...
A. 21 November 2008: I think that firstly you must stop thinking that he makes you behave in a certain way. You do have a choice on your own. I think many people can have those feelings you have but it becomes a problem when you really live it out.
I know this is ... (read in full...)
At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past?
Q. At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past? I'm 20 yrs. old and this is really my first attempt at a serious relationship. I was a troubled teen. I used drugs and alcohol. I became sexually active at 14 and had literally dozens of ...
A. 20 November 2008: p.s. and if you can, move from that awful place where people view you as a whore! Doesn't sound -decent- to me. I guess the "decent" guys who call you that didn't mind being with you back then?... (read in full...)
At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past?
Q. At what point in a relationship do you reveal your past? I'm 20 yrs. old and this is really my first attempt at a serious relationship. I was a troubled teen. I used drugs and alcohol. I became sexually active at 14 and had literally dozens of ...
A. 20 November 2008: I would too say wait till you feel comfortable with him. And you don't have any obligation to tell him about your past life if he doesn't ask you about it. You have taken good precautions when testing for std:s which shows that you are a good person ... (read in full...)
Should I commit forever to a relationship that started with me as sloppy seconds?
Q. The first two times I hooked up with my girlfriend she had slept with her ex boyfriend earlier in each night. These two times we hooked up were a year apart, and the 2nd time a few months before we began officially dating. Once in a while she talks ...
A. 20 November 2008: I'm not a guy, but I hope you don't mind me answering :)
I just wondered, if you really like her, why would you let those two times when you first met up ruin it all for you? I mean, 14 months are quite some time to spend with someone if you don'... (read in full...)
I can't get over the fact she killed my child!
Q. My Fiance and I Have been going through a lot. In the beginning things were perfect, she got pregnant and things were still fine but she was becoming distant. I was sitting watching a football game one night (this was the day before we were going to ...
A. 20 November 2008: Oh, I'm sorry. This is a very sad story. Did you ever talk to her about why she made that decision? Did she ever give you any explanation? Maybe it would help you getting over this loss if you two were able to properly talk it through without too ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to not like sex?
Q. I'm confused. I started things a little late, but since I've reached 30, I've been with three women one time each. The first time, even though the girl I was with was attractive, I didn't feel turned on. I couldn't finish, and the whole ...
A. 20 November 2008: I guess it is a possibility that you might not like it as much as you had pictured it, but I would dare to say that most people, if haven't been through some trauma, should like it because we are physically made that way.
Couldn't it just be that ... (read in full...)
My ex toyed with my emotions, like this new guy is doing. They know each other. Weird? Not a coincidence?
Q. There is this guy who I have gone out on some dates with over the last 3 months. But nothing really ever evolved from them. He would turn hot and cold so I was too scared to ever tell him how I truly felt. As soon as I would show some interest in ...
A. 20 November 2008: I can see why you find this weird. Could be the second guy likes you but feel weird about it since you used to date his friend. Could also mean they are just the same kind of boring guys who like to play around with you.
I think you can do bette... (read in full...)
I'm really scared that I'm going to somehow mess things up with her, or that she'll cheat.
Q. Hi, Forgive me if this sounds a little silly, but if you could help me put my mind to rest I'd appreciate it. I have been seeing a girl at my course at university for the past 3 weeks or so. 3 weeks is a very short time, but I feel like my feelings...
A. 15 November 2008: Hi Andy,
I think that maybe you are afraid of being hurt again and therefore subconsciously protect yourself from feeling too much for her.
My advice would be to just relax, and when those thoughts come, just observe and let them go again. Y... (read in full...)
How do I find that one-night-stand again ? I want to get to know him better.
Q. Hi, I have a question on how far it is ok to go to find someone you met only once before but really would like to know better? The story is this: I met a guy in a club a few weeks ago and we spend the night together. I wasn’t thinking I wo...
A. 12 November 2008: Found him! Now I just need to scramble up the guts to actually call him! I wonder would it be better during a weekday evening? Or during the weekend? If I chicken out now I'll always regret it, right?
... (read in full...)
Whose surname should my new baby have?
Q. Heya everyone =) Ok, well I've just had a beautiful baby boy, we got home from the hospital yesterday. I'm finding things hard but he is definitely worth it... I love him so much. Me and the father are no longer together (His choice, not mine...
A. 12 November 2008: I too don't know about the legal restrictions/possibilities, but I can understand if you in this situation would want only your surname for the baby.
On the other hand, maybe the father eventually will come around even though first reluctan... (read in full...)
She's secretly staring at her ex on facebook, but she says she hates him!
Q. My partner has been lying about going on facebook to me and has kept many secrets about it from me. She deleted her ex's off 6 mths ago when we got engaged. We have since been married and I found out yesterday that she physically types the most ...
A. 10 November 2008: It could be she has unresolved issues from the break up and therefore has a hard time letting go, which drives her to some kind of obsession with him. Not that that would be a good thing, but all the looking him up doesn't necessarily mean she wants ... (read in full...)
How do I let my girlfriend know I appreciate her gifts?
Q. I have an amazing girlfriend who looks attractive and can hold interesting conversations. And she loves to spoil me! I'm 19 and she is a self titled "older broad." (I'm guessing 42-44 but I've never asked her.) I don't know if she's feeling se...
A. 10 November 2008: Who said girls give sexual favors and at the same time don't like doing it? I'm sure she will be very happy with all sexual "favors" you could ever give her, and even better if you do like giving it. Think of it as you being her gift, and it is ... (read in full...)
I woke up hating him for what he'd done and threw him out...
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he was an ex drug user. he lived in Puerto Rico at the time. i tried living out there for a while but it did not go anywere so i decided to come back to new york with him we found an apartment with him ...
A. 10 November 2008: I would say it is a warning sign if someone says anything like "you drove me to" do whatever that is bad, like cheating on you, abuse you or something like that. To me that sounds like not taking responsible for your own actions but blaiming someone ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my fiance I'm a virgin?
Q. Hi, I am 25 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years. We've know each other for seven years and now we are engaged. The problem he is very possessive and now becomes a lot more then before. I used to share things about my male friends ...
A. 2 November 2008: I agree that you must think about your own safety first. This man seems like very dangerous to your health.
I think you should tell your parents, hopefully they can help you and give you support to do what you feel is best for you. If your par... (read in full...)
My ex says he doesn't want me back, but acts as if he owns me! What do you guys think of this?
Q. Last nite i went somewhere with my ex, and his sister a local place, but for someone who said he didnt want to get back with me was very strange, he wispered something in mt ear as in cheak to cheak like he was going to give me a kiss, then he ...
A. 2 November 2008: Hi,
I think he takes you for granted. I think he knows that you will be around even though, and this way he can both have you and still see others since he has told you he doesn't want a relationship, has "been honest" with you. Looks like a p... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is starting to ask my help in paying her bills
Q. I have a girlfriend who i love very much and she says she loves me, she works nights in people care and exhausts herself doing it to pay her mortgage and bills and the money is not going far enough so shes started asking me for money to make up the ...
A. 28 October 2008: I must say I too find it strange that you would give her money while you're having your own bills. Have you been a couple for long? Why do you live in separate houses?
If you have been a stable couple for long time I think it could be fair to ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents exactly where this sleepover is?
Q. I am invited to a sleepover tomorrow with 2 boys and 2 girls. I know them all well and we are all just FRIENDS. Nothing more and just want a good night in watching films and eating stuff. However, I don't know whether to tell my parents I am ...
A. 26 October 2008: I agree you should tell your parents where you are. They need to know in case something happens, as superwoman already has said.
You say you know them all well, does it mean your parents know them too? If not, then I suggest you invite them hom... (read in full...)
How do I find that one-night-stand again ? I want to get to know him better.
Q. Hi, I have a question on how far it is ok to go to find someone you met only once before but really would like to know better? The story is this: I met a guy in a club a few weeks ago and we spend the night together. I wasn’t thinking I wo...
A. 26 October 2008: Hi,
Thanks for all the good advices. I’ve been thinking hard about the option forget all 3 and look at it as medicine, that was sort of what I had in mind at the time when it happened.
Go back to the club I would definitely have done if he ... (read in full...)
How do I find that one-night-stand again ? I want to get to know him better.
Q. Hi, I have a question on how far it is ok to go to find someone you met only once before but really would like to know better? The story is this: I met a guy in a club a few weeks ago and we spend the night together. I wasn’t thinking I wo...
A. 26 October 2008: Just want to clarify one thing: I know very well HOW to find him, my question was rather how do you think he will react on being found by me. I don't want to end up a stalker.
:)... (read in full...)
I'm dating a perfect guy and I feel I might never be good enough for him. Should I talk to him about it?
Q. Hello. I'm 17 and I met my first boyfriend, who's 19 a little less than a year ago and we've been dating for around 5 months. He's absolutely perfect! He's nice, smart, funny, and has a stunning body (bonus!) He is a type of person who is go...
A. 26 October 2008: Hi,
I think that if he is the perfect guy for you, then you definitely should be able to talk to him about all your fears as well as about light-hearted things.
On the other hand, why do you feel so much you might not be good enough? From wha... (read in full...)
I must admit I enjoy sex with men, but also love my wife. should I come out?
Q. I am 37 yrs. old and married with two children. I had my first gay encounter when i was 13, and thru age 23 had about 12 more. after being married about 5 yrs., i had a want to have sex again with a man ( encounters consist of oral and masturbation ...
A. 25 October 2008: Hi,
I don’t really understand if you’re saying that you are seeing other men whilst married to your wife. If I understand right that you are, then my advice would be for you to at least come out to your wife.
It must be very tormenting for y... (read in full...)
My sister got beaten up pretty bad by her ex partner. Now she says that her ex has apologised and has 'problems' and she wants to help!
Q. My sister got beaten up pretty bad by her ex partner, whom she still lives with. She was punched and bitten on her face, and threatened with a knife. Now she says that her ex has apologised and has 'problems' and she wants to help! I unde...
A. 25 October 2008: Hi,
This is such a sad story and so hard to know what to do. I think you can't force your sister to do something she doesn't want to but still I don't think you should give up talking to her about this.
I do agree with you that this is domestic... (read in full...)
I told this man I love him....how can I realistically retract what I said?
Q. Having just returned from France I met a nice english man and we were jsut friends,but because I have lost so much in my life and was bought up in an orphanage etc (NOT feeling sorry for myself just telling the truth) I did a stupid thing and told ...
A. 2 July 2008: I agree that you should be honest and tell him exactly how you feel, that your friendship is very valuable to you and that you wish you two would be able to go back to what you had, but I don't think you must retract what you said. Why would that ... (read in full...)
Wrist injury. Anyone had one and can advise me?
Q. Grrrrrr not a relationship question, but i wonder if anyone can help. I punched someone in self defence about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Wish i hadn't now because its done me no good!Woke the next day with a painful wrist. Thought its probably a sprain s...
A. 18 June 2008: I also guess it might be broken, or gotten a damaged ligament. Especially since it rather gets worse over the days than better. Until you get to a doctor's office, you could wrap an elastic bandage around, not too tight, but enough to keep the ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to keep painting and repainting your nails?!?
Q. Hey everyone I don't know if any of you will know the answer to this question but every question I have asked so far has been answered so maybe I'll get lucky and someone will know this one I like to paint my nails alot and I like to change ...
A. 8 June 2008: It depends on the quality of your nail, I guess. My nails use to crack up a little if I've used nail polish for a longer time, like they can sometimes do when using fake nails. Then I just cut them down and let them rest a couple of weeks without ... (read in full...)
He thinks my sisters picture is me - Help!
Q. Hello, I'm a 24 year old female who has had a rough life I've been using my sisters pictures as passing them off that that's me for about a year now. She knows about it and thought it was funny. Now I've met a great guy who I'm totally in love ...
A. 8 June 2008: I agree with rcn, just be honest. It is not strange to hide certain things about oneself when online dating, it is quite normal. What is important now is that you like this guy. If he would be terribly offended by the fact you hid some facts about ... (read in full...)
How long to wait for him to change?
Q. HI, I am a 20 year old in love with a 26 year old guy. We have been together since the last 2 years. From the beginning it has been like our relationship started by him telling me that dont expect any commitments of marriage. This is my first...
A. 8 June 2008: Hi,
I'm sorry to say this but it has been 2 years, which is a long time for you, and I don't think it is very likely he would wake up one morning and be someone else, someone loving caring person.
I don't think it is anything wrong with you, ... (read in full...)
I think I bothered him to much with all my texting!
Q. I was dating my boyfriend for 4 months and everything was going good. He was txt`n me multiple times a day, every day. I was in no doubt that this guy was `into me`. He lived about 50 miles from me, and i don`t drive, so he was alwyas coming to see ...
A. 8 June 2008: Hi,
I think your gut feelings here are right. Something IS strange about his behaviour towards you. It doesn't have to mean that he really is married and is hiding a wife and kids from you, but it is definitely something that is bothering him and ... (read in full...)
My ex led me on, and now he tells me that he was just teasing me! I'm very hurt...
Q. Hello all agony aunts I need some help in the current situation I'm in, my ex of almost a year who has a girlfriend (his ex) has now lead me on twice. The first time was back in feburary in which he almost kissed me and told me the old feelings have ...
A. 3 June 2008: Oh, this hurt reading about. My advice would be to never trust him again, to never go there again whatever he says to you. I know it is hard if you still have feelings for him, but he doesn't seem stable and doesn't seem to know what he is doing and ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: It wasn't selfish, you were cold and you needed them and he didn't then. To freeze numb because he wasn't around to ask just then, THAT would have been silly. He is your husband, what happened to "in better and worse"?
I agree with Deema, it must ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: Hey,
Yes, you are really very cute!
Good idea for the brave ones on here. I also very much like the watched questions-list you've made. I have missed that kind of function before, thanks a lot.
-O
p.s. had to listen through your video... (read in full...)
Humanity - the other white meat
Q. It has to be said that my time on DearCupid.com has been...Colourful to say the least. Stories of incest,gay incest, lesbian incest, nasel sex, using plastic wrap as a condom, minors and their conquest to destory someones marriage,long di...
A. 13 April 2008: I completely agree with you that to open up and start takling is the best way of spreading knowledge and being able to learn from the experince of others. That is why I seem not to be able to stay away from this site. And all the people that has ... (read in full...)
Please help! I don't want to lose him.
Q. I have had sex with my ex-boyfriend but not intercourse. Sometimes in his room sometimes in mines. We have done it at least 21 times. Once he tried to f*** me but due to pain I was not able to do it. We seperated after 3 years of long relation...
A. 20 March 2008: Hi,
I understand your problem and how afraid you must be that your first boyfriend might tell people things about you. It seems that if he would want to, he could really hurt you. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel strong a... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 13 March 2008: Hi,
I'm so sorry, here comes a virtual *hug*. Is there any councellor at the clinic who you can talk to about how you feel?
Don't feel guilty, you have given this a lot of thoughts and came to the conclusion this is what was best for you and... (read in full...)
Have a proposal from another girl but I am still not over my ex! What do I do?
Q. we were in love for 3 years. we knew each other very well and our families too were well aware of the affair.. We got engaged in may 07 and 4 months before our marriage[supposed to take place in Nov07] she backed out from the marriage since she ...
A. 24 February 2008: Would it have been impossible for her to persue her higher education as a married woman? I understand that she wants to do that and if you wouldn't have a problem with it she could still have done it, right? I'm asking this because it seems to me ... (read in full...)
I continued writing to him, yet he did not answer, what could he be thinking?
Q. hi all i posted yesterday but am telling you how it continued, because im so confused. ive been with my husband for 13 years we have children together. ive felt for years that things have been very one sided and that i wasnt respected so nearly a ...
A. 24 February 2008: Hi,
I don't think it should have been too scary for him to get a valentine text from you. It wasn't silly of you to text him to try and tell him how you think and feel, it is silly of him though, to not tell you what is on his mind. If he does... (read in full...)
He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...
Q. i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...
A. 21 February 2008: I think you should think again about talking with anybody who says anything like that to you. Probably he is just an immature little boy who has no idea what he is saying, but anyway, if someone says anything like that to you again you should either ... (read in full...)
After how many dates should you discuss your relationship?
Q. If you go on a few dates with someone new, and see them alot during the week, talk on the phone, go over each other's houses etc - would you be bf/gf? I was wondering, what is the usual amount of time before you should start assuming you are...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi,
The exact same thing happened to me. I have since then thought a lot of this, like how do you really know that someone really likes you even though it seems very much like it. I think it is impossible to say and one reason is that so many thin... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with him? I'm scared of getting hurt
Q. i'm 18 he's 24. we go to college together and ever since i met him this fall i thought there was something about him. a couple weeks before winter break he started doing simple things and being a sweetie like playing with my hair, leaving all our ...
A. 16 February 2008: I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wished. But at least now you got an explanation and know it is not because of you but because of recent problems in his past.
It seems to me that either he really does like you a lot or he just want the... (read in full...)
Whose problem is it, that cheating happened without one of the involved parties knowing the other was committed?
Q. So I slept with my ex again, and it just so happens it was her first night back in town after break from school. We were at a party and she invited me to her house..... After a couple of days I texted her just to see what she was up to, having not ...
A. 2 February 2008: It is her problem. She was cheating, not you. I can imagine though it must have felt strange to find this out since sleeping with an ex give special emotions, different from the ones you have with a new person. If this happened to me I think I would ... (read in full...)
I don't want to break her heart, how do I let her down gently?
Q. What do I say when a girl says that she likes me but I like someone else? I don't want to break her heart. What should I do?...
A. 2 February 2008: You tell her that she is a good girl but you are already fallen in love with someone else. If she really likes you a lot she might be sad for some time, that's part of life, but I doubt that you will brake her heart. Not if you haven't dated for ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with him? I'm scared of getting hurt
Q. i'm 18 he's 24. we go to college together and ever since i met him this fall i thought there was something about him. a couple weeks before winter break he started doing simple things and being a sweetie like playing with my hair, leaving all our ...
A. 20 January 2008: I understand you must feel somewhat confused now. After what you’ve written I would definitely say you are right at least in your interpretation nr 1, he really does seem to like your company a lot and miss you when you’re gone. I would also have ... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 6 January 2008: I think you should do what YOU feel like and not what he says you should or shouldn't do. I think you deserve a much better man in your life, but if you want to keep this baby, then you should. I think Laurzie gave an excellent advice to talk to a ... (read in full...)
He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...
Q. i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...
A. 13 October 2007: Hi,
You are very brave! Probably he is a little embarrassed only and maybe afraid you might have made a joke with him. Ask him again. If he says no again, it is his loss.
Good luck, tell us how it goes!... (read in full...)
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