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*ikita agony aunt

*ikita

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ikita's profile:

Hi, I'm Nikita. I'm 41 and I have three children, two teenagers and one eleven year old. I also have five cats; Misty, Monty, Binks, Shreddie and Fluffy. I don't have any professional qualifications to be an agony aunt but what I do have is experience of life and relationships and common sense and my friends all tell me that I give good advice and I'll try my best to do the same on this site no matter what the problem is. I've had my fair share of them over the years and I know what it feels like to be alone, afraid and low. I also know how it feels to be content and happy so I know there's always light in the darkness. What makes me tick is writing. I've had several short stories published and Im in the process of writing a novel. I also like reading, red wine, chocolate chip cookies, dancing, walking and being by the sea. I'm currently in a relationship and have been for three years.

< Prev1234 [4 pages, 138 answers]

How can I get over her cheating on me? I can't stop crying.

Q.   How can I stop the tears from falling? How can I get her out of my head? How could she cheat on me when all I did was love her? She was my world and now she has gone....

A.   8 December 2006: I really feel for you. Its the worst thing in the world when you love someone and they betray you. The feeling of hurt you're experiencing wont just go away overnight. its gonna take time and you have to work through your feelings. You may feel ... (read in full...)

He twisted my words about being private on the phone at times - was it b/c of a girl?

Q.   Here is the thing. A long time ago, if my b/f and i had an argument on the phone he did not care that he was talking in front of family at home. It bothered me and i said, i like things like that private. He said fine. I call him at work (and thi...

A.   7 December 2006: Dear Anon, I understand what you mean but like KellyO, I think your're reading too much into this. My fiance doesnt like me phoning him at work either and vice versa because most companies frown on this unless its an emergency. Think abou... (read in full...)

She is mad that I'm flirting w/ others while we're trying to work things out. What do I do?

Q.   me and my ex are trying to work things out. she found out that i had been flirting and now shes mad. what do i do? ...

A.   7 December 2006: Dear monkeyspank, The simple answer is, STOP FLIRTING. No wonder she's mad. Do you want this to work out or dont you? If you do then put all your effort into her not others. Flirt with her instead okay and buy her some flowers to make... (read in full...)

I've been living in limbo for years... do I make the change now I've fallen for someone else?

Q.   Although we have loved each other for a long time, my relationship of 11 and 1/2 years has had its up and downs. We have never married and do not have children. We have only recently been living together under one roof for the past 2 years. Within 3 ...

A.   7 December 2006: Dear Anon, Hmm, this is a complicated situation but Ill do my best to help. it seems to me that after eleven years, things in your relationship have stumbled abit and you're both drifting apart. Your partner seems to be indecisive. One minute buying ... (read in full...)

We're back together after a split, but I feel he has fallen for my friend - I feel totally gutted he might end it with me for her

Q.   My boyfriend and I are on very shaky ground. Over the last few weeks we have split up and got back together a few times. He says he has realised there is life outside of us and thinks he wants to split up. We have been together for a few years ...

A.   6 December 2006: Dear Anon, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. It seems like its a case of the grass is always greener for him now he's had a taste of it. This may be hard for you but I feel that although you love him, you should let him go. You will be gutted and ... (read in full...)

Is it appropriate to ask for an engagement ring for Christmas?

Q.   Is it appropiate when ask what I want for Christmas, to answer an engagement ring?...

A.   6 December 2006: Hello Anon, I think you should, as Stina says, find out where your relationship is going first before you commit to an engagement. If your b/f has never mentioned getting engaged then it wouldn't be appropriate to ask for an engagement ring. he ... (read in full...)

I'm almot 14 and scared when my bf bring up sex! Any advice how to handle this situation?

Q.   Hey people! i'm 14 (in 6 days) and i have been with my amazing boyriend for 7 months almost now. He's 15 lets just call him ,...rob. Rob is great, he loves me to bits and know that i love him loads and loads too. He's caring, sweet, funny and ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hiya JJ, I know how you feel I was there myself when I was fourteen which seems like many moons ago! It seems to me like your b/f is testing the waters a bit with his comments and hints, to see how far you're willing to go. Its good that he says he ... (read in full...)

I sent him a loving poem and now since he's read it...he seems distracted. Did I do something wrong?

Q.   a few nights ago me and my bf were talking online and i sent him a poem that i wrote for him it was very loving and i spent ages writing it. he read it and went silent for a while so i changed the subject and when we said bye to each other he said i ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Atarisrocks, i dont think you've done anything wrong. Its just that your poem probably gave him food for thought and he's digesting it that's all.Some men can be a bit funny when it comes to romantic gestures like this and it may have been a bit ... (read in full...)

HAd unprotected sex and took the morning after pill but..I missed my period. Am I pregnant?

Q.   i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend at least 7 times in the same night 5 weeks ago and i took the morning after pill 4 days later. the lady at the clinic said it is only 65% effective because i took it late. Now i have missed my period and i ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Samie, The only way your're going to know for sure is if you take a pregnancy test. The morning after pill is most effective when taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex so the fact that you were outside that limit is a risk. The ... (read in full...)

I like using the vibrator he got me better than having sex with him!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have a very healthy sex life. However my problem is that I don't get the same "satisfaction" from intercourse as he does. He doesn't know this. Last year he bought me a vibrator as a present, and I'm worried I'm a bit addicted to ...

A.   6 December 2006: Dear Anon, This isn't a problem as long as your sex life is still healthy and you don't admit to your b/f that it gives you more satisfaction! A vibrator moves so much faster than a man's penis that it is bound to give you more sati... (read in full...)

She asked my bf if he wanted to go to the bathroom with her - should I tell my bf she made me mad?

Q.   One night my b/f and i were at a club with his 2 friends and the friend's cousin who i have met about 3 times. At one point she is gonna go the ladies room with her friend and she asks my b/f do you need to go to the bathroom? To me that is being ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Anon, I must admit, it does seem a weird thing to ask someone's b/f in front of their g/f and I would be suspicious too if it had happened to me. If you're worried about it, just discuss it with your b/f in a casual way, something like... (read in full...)

My bf can't handle my past and doesn't want to hear anymore about it - we love each other, so how do we solve this mess?

Q.   i need a solution so plz be fast help me out.i have a loving bf the problem is my past troubles him a lot he thinks of it all the time and comes wth weird thoughts,how do i stop himhe lves me a lot and i love him too, and i dont wanna lose him no ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Smithapatel, You have to reassure him that he is the only one for you. If he asks about your past anymore refuse to talk about it. Say its in the past and that's where it should firmly stay. Doesn't he have a past? Explain that you ... (read in full...)

Hes cheated several times before, I told him he needs to earn trust, but hes hanging out with other girls again!!!!

Q.   I'll give u brief intro of things so u know whats been happening - boyfriend cheated on me many times in 3 years whilst long distance, so we parted. 2 years later we decide to try again (he back home long term). I say he has to earn his trust back, ...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Anon, I would not be happy with this situation at all. You have given him plenty of chances and told him how you feel but he's already broken your trust again. You deserve so much better and there are plenty of nice guys out there who ... (read in full...)

I caught my wife of 28 years, kissing and cuddling with a man she worked with!

Q.   4 months ago I caught my wife of 28 years, kissing and cuddling with a man she worked with.She admitted that the 'affair' had been going on for 18 months but that while he tried many times to grope her she always stopped him and that no sexual ...

A.   6 December 2006: Dear Anon, I agree with Shandypop and i to find it hard to believe that she didn't go further than just kissing and cuddling. I can see why you struggle to believe her. Maybe she's trying to spare you any more pain but I would want to know... (read in full...)

He wants a baby, but didnt mention marriage, He knows I wanted to be wed first, so what do I do ?

Q.   i'm in a dilemma with my boyfriend - he rarely talks about our future and what it holds for us regarding marriage. I dream of getting married and having children and settling down. I know he wants children but i'm not so sure about marriage. When we ...

A.   6 December 2006: Dear Anon, You really need to talk with your partner about this because having a baby is a huge step and commitement and if he's not prepared to get married and its something you really want then you need to tell him how you feel again. I wo... (read in full...)

My man is very into "Watersports" How common is this ???

Q.   My boyfriend an i have a good relatioship and like to experiment, he recently confessed that he really wanted to give me a golden shower so i let him in the shower, i didnt mind it too much but wasnt great. He now bought porn with girls getti...

A.   6 December 2006: Hi Anon, Personally, Im not into watersports although if my man asked me to do it, I might try it to see if I liked it. If i didn't I wouldn't do it again and I think that's what you have to ask yourself really. You tried it but it wasn... (read in full...)

My husband says I make him feel dirty and bad because he enjoys looking at porn

Q.   Hello, I have the most wonderful man in my life. We have been together for over 5 years and we were just married in October of this year. We get along great and enjoy each other's company. There is nothing I can't say to him and he seems to feel...

A.   5 December 2006: Dear Pikabu, I can easily relate to your dilemma and so, I'm sure can a lot of other women. Let me reassure you that because your husband looks at porn it doesn't mean that he loves you any less. To him, its just sexual images. You are the ... (read in full...)

He said "my girlfriend" and "your boyfriend" - does that mean we're back together?

Q.   My ex and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. This past weekend he was making comments towards me like "My girlfriend" and "Your boyfriend". My question is, is this his way of saying that we're back together without exactly saying ...

A.   5 December 2006: hello, In answer to your question, the only real way you're going to know is if you ask him! Do it in a jovial, light hearted way not in an intense way. Next time you're together, say something like; 'Have you ever thought about getting back... (read in full...)

Am I in love with one of these people?

Q.   dear cupid i would like help with what im feeling, i have seem to be interested in two people. one is a movie/soap star and the other one of which i am related to, by that i mean i keep on thinking about them non-stop and sometimes even c...

A.   5 December 2006: Dear anonymous, First of all, I'm so sorry that you feel this way and no you are not stupid at all for having these feelings. Lets deal with the movie/soap star first. The feelings that you have for this person is very real to you and ... (read in full...)

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