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*ytwocents agony aunt

*ytwocents

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*ytwocents's profile:

I'm not your typical urban male living in a major US city.

I have a blend of traditional and modern, unconventional views on life and relationships. I draw directly on my own experiences and observations for my advice, and I'm not afraid to share some of my own problems to help others. I think real-life examples and humor are more effective devices for delivering helpful advice than dramatic, worn-out appeals to follow the norm. In a world with abundant advice for women by women, but very little advice for men by non-women, I like to think of my views as masculine, but progressive. In other words, I offer advice to both genders from the perspective of a modern, educated man--hopefully, with a fresh perspective.

Although I may not always get it right, I aim to give thoughtful, thorough responses to what people are actually asking. My answers may not always be popular or uplifting and positive, but they're always sincere, and usually the product of a realistic assessment of the situation. I don't think people come here for inconsiderate, three-word answers; lengthy religious sermons; or cheesy, and unrealistic, pep-talks.

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Getting to Second

Q.   I'm 13 and im having trouble getting to 2nd. every girl ive dated never wants to go that far. Do you have any tips on moving from 1st to 2nd?...

A.   13 May 2009: Kid, it's been so long since I've heard that terminology that I've forgotten what "second" even is. Is that hand-under-the-shirt? Maybe it's been updated since I was your age. Plus, I think you have to be American to know it, because these Brits ... (read in full...)

Best place to lose your virginity?

Q.   I'm ready, and I'm gonna lose it. The question is where? Ideas anyone? The beach? The woods? Not some sleazy hotel room or my bed. This is the first time you'll always remember. I want to make it memorable in so many different ways, and...

A.   12 May 2009: I won't try to talk you out of it like some of the other contributors, but what I will say is that your two ideas (the beach and the woods) tell me that you have a pretty distorted notion of what sex is really like (which, I guess, is understandable ... (read in full...)

Question about race and dating.....

Q.   Hello there. I am hoping my question does not come off as offensive or racist at all. It's just that I have been dating my boyfriend almost a year now; he is caucasian (blonde hair, blue eyes) while I am asian. This has always made me a bit self ...

A.   12 May 2009: I've lived a life of interracial coupling--personally AND all around me. I've dated within my own race very little, in fact, and many of my friends and acquaintances have MARRIED outside of their race. Many of the girls that I've dated (even ... (read in full...)

Should I tell her about this lap dancer?

Q.   I've been with my current girlfriend since last September. We get on great and I'm generally honest with her. With one exception - sex. Before I met her, I was single for a year and during this time I visited a lap dancing club and paid for an ...

A.   12 May 2009: Honestly, I think you run the risk of making a something out of nothing by bringing it up. If you didn't have sex, you remained fully clothed the whole time, and you didn’t otherwise ejaculate, the vast majority of people your age would consider ... (read in full...)

How can I make myself prettier??? I want to WOW him.

Q.   im looking for advice on how i can make myself prettier. please not i am NOT looking for answers of people telling me beauty is on the inside, or its about confidence or anything like that. i want advice about physical thing i can do. My boyfr...

A.   11 May 2009: Definitely buy a new outfit. Try to find something that accentuates the part of your body that drives him the craziest. If it's your rear, get some nice, thin-fabric pants that make your butt irresistable. If it's your boobs, wear something that ... (read in full...)

Married..travel 900 miles for a hook up with online woman?

Q.   Ok I'm a 26 year old man, who has been married 6 years. I have within the last 6 months fallen into a strange situation with a girl I started talking to online. It started off with me just being horny, looking for a girl to talk dirty with, but ...

A.   11 May 2009: I won't lecture you on the cheating thing, since I agree that's not what you need right now and it wouldn't make a bit of difference to how you feel anyway. I'd love to give you an good, informed opinion but would like to know a little bit more ... (read in full...)

Should I let her give me a bj? Or just say no?

Q.   I have a bad situation, my date which i was taking to prom just as friends really likes me now when i still feel the same about her. We hung out yesterday and she was hitting on me really hard. She just does a lot of things i don't approve of and im ...

A.   8 May 2009: I would TOTALLY go for it. I don't think a bj has to ruin your friendship, and it will more-than-likely be a fun, exciting experience for you. Just tell her right before that you don't want this to ruin your friendship. Then sit back and enjoy, a... (read in full...)

I need to find an excuse to go up and talk to her... any ideas?

Q.   Hi There's a girl I really fancy who goes to the same gym as I do and I have no idea how I can make contact with her. I see her there every friday and she seems really nice. I liked her from the first moment I saw her(over a year ago now)and ...

A.   8 May 2009: There's no such place as a bad place to meet someone. Don't let anyone tell you that. I've known people that have met at the post office, at a funeral, even while driving in traffic. The gym is way normal--just don't be sleazy or creepy. Whatever ... (read in full...)

I am dissatisfied with the choices I have made in my life, and wish I was younger, what to do, please advise?

Q.   I had my 30th birthday last week, and I can't stop feeling sad. I know I need to get on with my life, but I can't help it. I wish and wish I were young again. More than feeling old, I'm wishing I'd pursued my dream of being a musician. I don...

A.   8 May 2009: Oh man, you're having the "30th-year crisis." I've known several people that are going through the same thing. I'm in the midst of mine. I'm constantly OBSESSING over my younger years and the decisions I made (and didn't make). It's bad. People ... (read in full...)

I don't like how my vagina looks now that I've had sex!

Q.   When I was a virgin (about a month ago) I used to have a nice looking vagina. haha might be weird but yeaah.. my labia or the lips of the vagina covering the hole used to be tucked in and 'juicy'. But now that I've been having sex a lot it changed ...

A.   8 May 2009: If your v looks a little different, I'm SURE it has nothing to do with having sex. I'm being 100 percent serious, but it could be something as simple as a change in the weather, the soap you're using, or your bathroom routine (if you know what I ... (read in full...)

Head over heels in love with a guy who doesn't love me back

Q.   I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I've tried eveything possible but i can't help it, i am totally head over heels in love with this guy that clearly doesn't love me back. He could make me the happiest girl in the world if only he loved ...

A.   7 May 2009: I was THAT GUY once and can give you the guy's perspective on this. Please don't interpret this as smug or bragging, it isn't my proudest moment. Sorry it's a little long. I once dated a girl that fell for me much like you describe you've ... (read in full...)

Why does she need to chat to her ex so much and tell him he's great?

Q.   I've been going out with my current girlfriend for over a year - but here is where the problem lies.. one of her ex boyfriends keeps creeping into the picture sending her emails and pictures of them together and she's responded to them by calling ...

A.   7 May 2009: I have strong opinions on this issue. Without writing a novel on here, I can't begin to tell you how much of an issue this was (and sometimes still is) with my current gf. I dealt with her having active friendships with SEVERAL of her exes. It was ... (read in full...)

I'm a serial cheater and can't help it

Q.   I cheat but I don't feel like one. I am in a steady relationship with my boyfriend of 8 months, and we are great together, the connection is intense. The level of sex is, however, nowhere near enough to satisfy me. We have sex maybe once a wee...

A.   7 May 2009: You're hurting TWO people right now. You're not getting what you want, and he's getting something I'm SURE he wouldn't want. Who wants their girl going behind their back with some guy, never mind four? You have to be the bigger person and take act... (read in full...)

I need help! Why doesn't my husband want to have sex with me?

Q.   My husband never wants to have sex with me. Our sex life consists of me giving him blow jobs and very, very occassionally he might grace me with a couple of minutes penetration to stop me grumbling. I am sooooooo sexually frustrated and m...

A.   30 April 2009: Sorry, in advance, for the long response. I'm sorry to hear about your woes. Sex isn't everything, but it matters. This is a subject near-and-dear to my heart. I'm currently in a male-equivalent situation, though yours sounds a bit worse. I'll ... (read in full...)

Tempted to cheat on my boyfriend as the sex has dried up.

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years and everything was going good until we stopped having sex its become like once a week but even then its not amazing. So i went out to a club and met a fella i gave him my number and we have been texting and ...

A.   30 April 2009: You're just bottled up, you poor thing. This is one of those things that crosses gender lines. I'm currently in a situation that's off-and-on like yours. And, I know, it's incredibly frustrating. At times, I felt so crazed that I would have killed ... (read in full...)

We are both history professors and I hate to ask but I need tips on how to pusue this beautiful, intelligent woman!

Q.   I have never been the most confident or the most attractive male and at this point in time. I actually hate to admit that. I am 32 years old, single, have only had three girlfriends in the past, and only had sex with two of them. Now, I know my ...

A.   23 April 2009: Ask if she’s interested in seeing some of your primary sources or, better yet, ask her to show you her CV. Sorry, as a once-aspiring historian myself, I couldn’t resist. I hope it’s going well. I wouldn’t mind having a beautiful 29-year-... (read in full...)

Getting Over Your Girlfriend's Sexual History: How I Did It

Q.   All right, damn it. I've dealt with this stuff in the past and finally got over it. Took me a long, long, long time, but in the end, I did it. However, in my quest for answers, examining my inner thoughts and societal views, talking to both male ...

A.   21 April 2009: Finally--someone is speaking my language. I thought I was alone in the world saying it's okay to feel like a man about this issue. Bro, I re-opened my deleted account to post back to your message. Needless to say, I'm wrangling with my unique ... (read in full...)

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