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*yau

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After being cheated on, I hate myself

Q.   During my most recent relationship, I got cheated on by my girlfriend. She did it once fairly early in the relationship, and even though I hated the guy before it happened, she claims to be blackout drunk so I forgave her. She cheated again and ...

A.   10 July 2016: Your fine. She is just selfish. Some people just think that they can say and do whatever they want and everyone else can just deal with it. All you can be is yourself and yes it is more than enough. You just need to meet that right girl. ... (read in full...)

Does a guy being skinny put women off?

Q.   I'm a skinny lad and I was wondering is this a turn-off? I mean I know some girls like guys to be teddy bears but is there really any market for us skinny guys? I'm 5'11"/180 cm and 143 pounds/64 kg and feel as though I'm not bulky enough for women ...

A.   10 July 2016: I was also skinny as a teen and no girl would look at me. They were actually quite rude. When I hit 19 I gained weight and now seem to get women's attention and have had quite a few girlfriends. Wether it was just growing up or gaining weight o... (read in full...)

How do I tell my LDR guy and get him to understand that this level of contact is not enough?

Q.   Hi everyone, thanks for reading! Im not sure how to approach this - i basically need to talk to my boyfriend about being more in contact. We are doing a long distance relationship at the moment and everything was fine (we were skyping a few t...

A.   21 June 2016: Your not nagging him at all. You have a right to know whats going on. Also, he games and sleeps? He should be available all the time. Its not like he has something better to do. Even playing a game, he can still chat to you.... (read in full...)

Can you please advise what to do? My lesbian partner has been exchanging explicit messages on line with a man

Q.   I found explicit emails between my lesbian partner and a man on craigslist. I found some printed copies of her replies to a mans advert on craigslist. The man wanted to meet her for fun in exchange for money. My partner always brags about being ...

A.   21 June 2016: I would be horrified if this happened and I have to agree with Honeypie, I'd leave her too. I don't think she is playing. I think she is curious.... (read in full...)

Help! What can I say? I'm a gay female being set up at work ! I'm scared and unsure what to do.

Q.   Im a single GAY female over 40 and today at work as I walked in tea room I overheard her talking to another manager about setting me up with a 26 yr old asian guy who used to work with us and who likes me! And how I am " over 40" The other mana...

A.   21 June 2016: I wouldn't say you have a boyfriend as the other women in the office might want to talk about their men and start asking you questions about yours. I don't see an issue here, just say no, when your asked. "He's nice, but I'm just not interested."... (read in full...)

Feeling really depressed that I have never been asked out. How should I approach this problem?

Q.   I get really depressed because I have never been asked out despite putting myself out there. I volunteer, I also work in retail. No guys like me and I see other girls who are always asked out and hit on but I am always left out. I am 5'6 and w...

A.   21 June 2016: How are you around guys? Are you shy? Or uncomfortable? As I always advise guys, you have to get used to being around the opposite sex. Make a friend or two. Now that you are talking to guys you can meet men who are interested in you. It all... (read in full...)

Newly married but feel so guilty about my cheating. What should I do?

Q.   I got married to my boyfriend recently whom I was with in a long distance relationship for 3 yrs. We still live apart as I have not moved to his city yet as he could be taking a transfer to mine. I have dark secret which haunts me even now. Las...

A.   16 June 2016: You have to decide what you want. Do you want to stay married? Will you be happy with him? Or do you want to divorce and try and get back in touch with the other man? It wont be easy and someone is going to get hurt either way. So make sure... (read in full...)

Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like?

Q.   I have a question I wanted to ask and ive been debating it. If there is a co worker a male likes and he's into her. Let's say the special day was valentines day. Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like? not that I'm intendi...

A.   16 June 2016: OK I firstly have to cancel the flowers I was sending to So_very_confused. Bullet dodged there. And you can send her something on valentines day marked as a secret admirer and then just see how she reacts. If shes horrified, then pretend you know... (read in full...)

Cute guy at the gym. How do I get his attention?

Q.   I recently started weighttraining with a guy friend (older gentleman) at the gym, and there is one particular guy. I told my workout buddy (harry) that i think the guy's cute, and he's trying to help me break the ice with him. Because of Harrys he...

A.   16 June 2016: Try the ignore. Don't look at him and see if he comes over to you. Failing that, you could go for the classic, tripping over into his arms routine that actually works. You just scammed a free hug. And failing that, a shared interest. See wh... (read in full...)

Is she out of my league? Should I ask her out?

Q.   I'm a single male and work, there's a female at work whose caught my eye and she is attractive. She always looks at me, smiles and gives me hugs and chats to me. I'd like to ask her out but the problem is, I'm not sure if im her type or not or w...

A.   16 June 2016: Well you could ask her to lunch. Or an after work drink. You could also ask her friends if shes single. That seems the best option.... (read in full...)

How do I get over my needs for a boyfriend and for sex? I'm 16 and a virgin.

Q.   Hi so I'm 16. Obviously I'm a teenager so I have'needs'... Well they're more desires than needs. My first desire is to find someone to love who will love me back. Someone I can trust and talk to who understands me. Will I find him soon? Who know...

A.   16 June 2016: I also only had my first girlfriend when I turned 19. Girls are nicer when they arn't teenagers anymore. I do understand as my hormones also drove me up the wall when I was your age and I also wondered if any girl would have me. The secret is... (read in full...)

Crushed by an ex bf who was a jerk. Will I find a loving guy? Who's fault is it when I guy turns out to be a jerk or a loving and amazing guy?

Q.   How does it feel to have a faithful and loving boyfriend who cares for your feelings, spends on you, and makes you feel special after having a selfish liar and jerk who crushed your world for a long time by being the exact opposite of the and ...

A.   16 June 2016: Thats quite a few questions there. So ok, here goes. 1. Good 2. No, Im a guy who is into girls. My relationships have been ok I guess. Some good, but none great. That's why I'm not married. 3. No. People are who they are. Don't waste your ti... (read in full...)

I can't believe my husband would even consider moving in with female roommates! Am I overreacting?

Q.   Dear Aunts and Uncles, My husband moved to the USA recently and got an unpaid intern position for about 6 months. At the moment he is staying with his cousin but is looking for a place for himself. Yesterday he's been telling me that he has been...

A.   10 June 2016: It might be his only option. I dont know the rental situation where he is, but in Sydney where I live, apartments are hard to get. You take what you can. Its not like he will be hitting on those women, they will just be like sisters really.... (read in full...)

He's turning my space into a slum - help!

Q.   This is going to sound extremely petty rant,but just want to ask other people if they think I am being over the top? Me and my boyfriend don't live together (Im at my mum's still,he has a flat) but my mum mostly stays at her partner's house an...

A.   10 June 2016: Ahh men, arn't we great lol. You are right to want him to clean up and need to make sure he is doing it. Its about good habit forming. Its not like your asking him to clean the whole apartment every day. He can easily put rubbish in a bin and rins... (read in full...)

Has anyone been in a lasting relationship where there was an age difference?

Q.   When I was 28 I was in a 4.5 year relationship with a younger girl, she was only 18 when we started dating. We had a son together and when our son was 18 months old she said she made a mistake settling down with me and wanted to experience her yout...

A.   10 June 2016: It depends really. It seems from what you said that she just wanted to be young while she was. Now that shes older she might actually want the relationship as she was with you before and did love you. She might very well have regretted it. Yo... (read in full...)

Should I be concerned that my girlfriend had her phone with her in the bathroom?

Q.   My girlfriend had her phone with her in the bathroom today. We were having sex and afterwards, she had to use the bathroom. I waited for her outside the bathroom because I had to go. And I saw she came out with her phone. I did not say anything and ...

A.   10 June 2016: She told you what was up. Why would you think it was anything else?... (read in full...)

Do I let my ex's baby mama and child into my nursery?

Q.   Hey I'm not sure what to write here but here it goes, I was with a guy for 6 years and got pregnant shortly after this he left me for a teenager and ignored me and his child I would text, got noting. I did every now again drop him a line to tell him ...

A.   10 June 2016: I dont see what choice you have here. I hope you have moved on and met someone new. I would advise you to stop texting him though, its bad for your self esteem.... (read in full...)

I want my Bf back. How can I attempt to achieve that aim?

Q.   I want my ex boyfriend back , when i first met my ex there was something special there and i felt so comfortable with him as tho i had known him years . But after our first meet he kept cancelling we had a break and decided to try again but agai...

A.   9 June 2016: This isn't a relationship. He just isn't into you but seems like he doesn't want to tell you straight. You need to let him go and move on.... (read in full...)

What's going on with my best guy friend? I'm so confused!

Q.   My best friend is a male, and I'm a female. Everywhere we go, people think we're a couple and that's why I think it's hard for me to get a boyfriend or even go on a date because I find it hard to approach guys because I've been in this situation for ...

A.   9 June 2016: He might have just been confused about who he was. But I would say he isnt gay. As for you, I think you are a little jealous and its time you went out and met a guy of your own. Your friend will still be your friend and now you can double d... (read in full...)

Was this a polite rejection?

Q.   So I have been interested in guy who works the next building from mine.He's always friendly and was giving off subtle signs of interest. I finally gave him my number and told him to call/text sometime.He said sure.Then I ran into him today and he ...

A.   9 June 2016: I'm afraid so. Dont worry though, he wasn't right for you anyway.... (read in full...)

Can I ever escape the guilt from what I've done?

Q.   So here is my story. I'm completely lost and in a bad way. Riddled with shame and guilt. Feel totally out of control and powerless. I'm a serial cheat. I never expected to be in this position. I have strong values and rate honesty highly. I hate ...

A.   7 June 2016: I was cheated on too. But I called her a slut and dumped her and moved on. You didn't. You took it out on your next girlfriend. And have now killed the relationship. You gave two options in your post and option 1 is the answer. You need tim... (read in full...)

My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?

Q.   Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...

A.   27 May 2016: ............................No... (read in full...)

My sister is 3 years older than me and she bullies me. How can I distance myself from her?

Q.   i am from india and i almost 21 years old, i have a sister who is 3 years elder, till before 7-8 months, we were very close like super close as far as i remember we did everything together only like parties, going out and shopping n all stuff. ...

A.   26 May 2016: Theres a pro wrestling term called "no selling" It means when a wrestler pretends to hit another, the second ignores it. Its a no no. Anyway you have to learn to no sell your sister. She is trying to get a rise out of you and you keep falling... (read in full...)

She is wonderful, fulfills all my needs in life, but I'm not in love with her. Should I reconnect with an ex, instead, despite problems likely to result?

Q.   5 years ago me and my partner that I have children with went through a very rough patch and I ended up cheating on her. Me and her friend ended up falling for each other but in the end I couldn't deal with the guilt and told her what has been go...

A.   26 May 2016: Easy to quote the song: Love the one your with.... (read in full...)

I feel as if I am just the girl he made pregnant. Does he really love me? I feel as if I'm second best

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and together have two babies. We have 2 kids each to previous partners. All up we have 6 kids whom we raise together. He was with his ex for about 5 years. They were not married but were...

A.   26 May 2016: I don't see how you can win here. She is the mother of 2 of his kids. They will want their mother and will hate you if you ask her to leave. It might be possible to limit her a bit, but I don't see how you come out a winner here. Sadly I think... (read in full...)

I suffer social anxiety. How can I break the news to my parents that I've met a guy?

Q.   Hey everyone, just looking for some advice and I guess some moral support :-) Brief background story: I've always been shy and introverted, and have been in abusive relationships in the past. After my last long term relationship I moved...

A.   26 May 2016: Its time for you to grow up. You've been the scared little girl for far too long. Your not a girl anymore, your a woman and women don't cower in the corner. Its hard I know, but you need to stand up here and just tell them. You will feel b... (read in full...)

He ignores me and treats me like I don't exist ever since we had a one night stand. How can I better handle this rejection?

Q.   Hi there, I'm married with 10 childrens and had an affair with a man that has 4 Children. We go to the same church and that's where everything happened. He smiled at me all the time and then it ended up into a one night stand we met up and ha...

A.   26 May 2016: There's no real quick fix here. In time you will be over it and then you can find a man who is right for you.... (read in full...)

My introverted daughter is in her 30s and loves animals. She hates her work and hates being single. At 71, what advice can I give her that will help her?

Q.   I'm worried about my daughter. Recently she was upset about something and she blurted out that she hated being single. She is in her 30s and a highschool teacher, and she never got married but she always seemed okay with it. Recently, sh...

A.   26 May 2016: She still has plenty to time to fix both of her problems. I would advise her to quit teaching if she hates it so much. Even if she wont make it as a vet, she could do something else and be happier. I'm an introvert too and I find dealing... (read in full...)

Will it get better? Am I going to regret leaving home as a teenager, in the long run?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm 18 years old and about two months ago I left home. I never got on well with my dad and I was quite distant from my mother. I have serious middle child syndrome, I'm quite selfish and never satisfied. I was yearning emotion...

A.   25 May 2016: Do not cut contact with your family. Moving out was the right move, but snubbing them isn't. You never know when you might need help and your parents are the ones who will give you that help. Now that you don't live with them, you may find tha... (read in full...)

How do I keep a healthy balanced perspective on my finances?

Q.   Sorry, this isn't really a relationship question, but it's really weighing on me. I'm fairly young (or maybe 30 isn't considered that young anymore), I have no debt and as of a couple months ago had low 6 figures of savings. With all that said, I...

A.   25 May 2016: You sound like your all set. Congratulations on your first client. I'm afraid its just a matter of practice. The more you do it the better you will get at it. BTW Denziens =20% is a great idea and I also recommend you go with that. You can nego... (read in full...)

What's the sexiest thing about your partner?

Q.   What's the sexiest thing to you about your partner whether it be past/present/future. What do you find most attractive in someone else? ...

A.   23 May 2016: How stocked her fridge is.... (read in full...)

Does it feel different having another person touch you than when you're touching yourself?

Q.   Does it feel different having another person touch you than when you're touching yourself? I guess I'm a little weird because I can only get off when I just get direct to the point. I've read that you should stroke yourself everywhere like your thi...

A.   22 May 2016: Your not weird at all. I'm pretty much the same. I just like insertion. Even head doesn't do much for me. Dont worry about it too much, just have fun. That's the whole point. And btw my first gf knew how to get off and showed me how to do ... (read in full...)

Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? Can I cut ties?

Q.   Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? This is going to come off terribly rude but I don't know how else to put it. My mother is a drug addict who also has mental issues, and treats me bad. After having a big argument last night over...

A.   22 May 2016: Yes you can, but I would recommend trying something else. Firstly don't giver her money. Its her job to give you money, not the other way around. Tell her that. As for cutting her off. Try spending less time with her. Say if you see her once... (read in full...)

Feeling confused over a crush. What can I do, to overcome the crush, without cutting ties with this man, who has been so kind to me?

Q.   I am looking for advice on this I have became friendly with a man who is 20 years older than myself. He has always helped me out with DIY and other things and been really nice. He is married with a family. I have a boyfriend who travels a lot wi...

A.   22 May 2016: Well I was in a similar situation quite a few years back. I just accepted it. I liked the girl but couldn't be with her, so I just enjoyed being around her and had a good friendship in the end. Don't tell him you like him btw.... (read in full...)

Uncles who lost your virginity at a later stage, how did you do it? Aunts what will really help me lose my virginity?

Q.   How do you shake off being a virgin? While I have kissed a couple girls and have been sexual with some, I feel down on myself for not having had intercourse. I've read articles on this site, other sites about not feeling bad about it but it ...

A.   22 May 2016: Does 19 count as a later stage? I personally think its just right age wise. There's this thing called a relationship. You should actually be looking for it rather than sex. Sex is what comes later. As for being yourself...Well.... (read in full...)

Stressed, tired and fearful he'll look elsewhere

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together five years and we bought a house together three months ago. I've been working full time and studying for the last ten months. I finish my study in two months. I've been really busy and stressed. I've put on 10 ...

A.   21 May 2016: I wouldn't worry too much about it. Keep the once a week routine up until you finish your studies. They are what counts now. Then you can re focus on getting the wight off and your libedo back. ... (read in full...)

Did he or did he not? I am 16, why did my BF lie about losing his virginity and then change his story?

Q.   So I have been with my boyfriend who I met at a concert for a month. We are both sixteen. We hadn't discussed sex at all until now. I was curious to know if he had sex before, but I wasn't bold enough to ask outright. So when we were finally talking ...

A.   21 May 2016: OK as an adult I feel I have to say this first. Your both grounded. Now as for your question, he was just scared that you wouldn't like him or worse laugh at him. The teen years are insanely awkward and it hard to get comfortable with... (read in full...)

Any tips on how to handle grief? Maybe it was not my fault the baby bird died. But I feel guilt about it

Q.   Hello, I am absolutely devastated. My boyfriend and I went to the mall and saw a group of people huddled together near the entrance of a shop. I overheard one of the people there going "Management knows about it." When we left the mall about a...

A.   21 May 2016: You should never feel bad about this. You tried to help and that was all you could really do. If the bird could, I'm sure he/she would thank you.... (read in full...)

What's happening to me? Am I feeling all this emotion as a result of supressing my feelings?

Q.   Hello its Military Man once again. The count down for deployment is 4 days and im starting to experience things I never really strongly felt before.....emotion. I mean Ive been hurt and understood this but I never been able to show it. Like whe...

A.   21 May 2016: I am in the same boat. After bottling it up all my life, I've found that sometimes tears start over the stupidest things. It is all the bad experiences you have had finally overwhelming you, like they did me. As men we are told to be tough ... (read in full...)

Am I seeing too much into this? Or is he seeing me as more than a friend?

Q.   Hello everyone, this is my first time on a site like this and I think it's just so great to find something that allows us to help each other through our own unique experiences. To get to my situation: I am an openly gay male and I recently came in ...

A.   21 May 2016: Its possible that he might want a relationship with you. Its also possible that he just wants someone to help him come out if he is gay. He also might just be a bit too introverted for his own good. The only way your gonna know is by ta... (read in full...)

What causes my GF to go from hot to cold towards me? Could it be depression or a mental health issue?

Q.   I'm a gay female. I have a dilemma I need some advice about. I have been sleeping with a good friend of mine for about six months now. The problem is she blows very hot and cold on me regularly, and I don't know how to deal with it. For a mon...

A.   21 May 2016: Its hard to honestly say. You might be taking advantage of her unintentionally. She might very well want a relationship with you and you keep throwing friend in her face. Also she might not want sex at all but is afraid to say no as she ... (read in full...)

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