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*r. Smith

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She had a one night stand while we were separated and refuses to see it as cheating!

Q.   My wife and i seperated 2 weeks ago. We agreed that until things had settled down and the emotions were not as raw that neither of us would date etc. we have decided now that we want to give our relationship another go. However i have found out that ...

A.   6 August 2012: Whats the deal with continuosly mentioning counseling!!! This is an issue of common sense. OP your marriage is over, she made the decision when the other man's penis slipped inside her! Get a divorce now and stop using your children as excuse!... (read in full...)

Not being told the truth about the past. Am I expecting too much or thinking too much?

Q.   We have been going out for about 10 months and we intend to have a future together and working on it. We are in our early thirties. We are at the dating stage, living separately, and intend to move in together when the time is right. I have a ...

A.   23 January 2012: M friend do not get foold, she is lying!!! I do suggest that you cut off all ties with her and simply walk away. No need to be disrespectful. Rather hurt for a while than to live in pain the rest fo your life. Ps; If youby any chance have inti... (read in full...)

My wife was adventurous with men in her past but I have to beg her for sex

Q.   Can someone explain why is it that my wife could have sex in every sort of way possible with different men and now that I am her husband I am stuck with just nothing. I literally have to beg her for sex...she never wants to experiment like she did ...

A.   7 October 2011: Thank you so much Odds... for me sex is not important but certainly a part of being married. I completely agree with your point. I am completely aware of my child's well being...that being said, I guess I'll have to suck it up and roll with the ... (read in full...)

My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??

Q.   This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...

A.   19 April 2011: 2 so very confused... I seduce her, romance her i don't kiss her feet because tat will be falling to low to make love to my wife...i do try to make everything seem perfect and treat her like a lady but i always get the same response..."i am not ... (read in full...)

My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??

Q.   This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...

A.   19 April 2011: @ Dirtball we have been marreid for 1 year, our sex life hasn't perfect but not to the point it is now... i proposed counseling, still waiting for an answer... (read in full...)

My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??

Q.   This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...

A.   19 April 2011: Whe I say experimentation I mean normal stuff like anal, positions or maybe some place other than our home... @ DirtBall: What really killed me was the comment that she mentioned "I already did that and I am not looking foward to it again".. h... (read in full...)

My wife to be revealed her sexual past. I feel sick to my stomach

Q.   I am 31, she is 29. She is drop dead gorgeous. We fell in love a year and a half ago when she was one of my day nurses when I had spent some time in the hospital recovering from a tumor in my knee (non cancerous) During our time dating, I would ...

A.   19 April 2011: Contrary to what some people might say I will be 100% honest....do not marry her. Avoid all the hurt and misery this will cause you. Nowadays people try to justify things that are simply wrong with stupid excuses like "it is my past and I am a ... (read in full...)

What would you do in the case of paternity fraud?

Q.   What would you do if you were to find out the child your wife/spouse gave birth to you was not yours? ...

A.   19 April 2011: Oh my friend f the DNA says he is not yours... simple separate from her. This event gives you the legal grounds for a divorce due to adultery, thus meaning you get to keep your and her half of eveything. ... (read in full...)

He thinks I would make a "great wife", what does this mean?

Q.   I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now. we're both 26. The other day we were talking about how people in my middle eastern culture are always in search of a mate. He said that he bets that I would have a lot of offers (for marriage), I said ...

A.   5 April 2011: WOMAN HE DEFINETLY LOVES YOU AND CONSIDERS YOU A RARE GEM... but then again like a typical north american woman i bet you want to have fun ,party and meet "new" friends first...come on this man thinks you are the one for him can't you at least be ... (read in full...)

How do you shrug off worries that your ex may have bad-mouthed you to people?

Q.   Has anyone ever worried that your ex will talk sh*t about you? Like exaggerate things about you so that you sound worse than you actually are. Like, I guess I was a little clingy when my ex broke up with me, like I tried to stay in contact even ...

A.   5 April 2011: JUST SMILE AND BE HAPPY...beleive it's not like he told his friends about your sex life or similar stuff...forget it do not waste your time worring on things that do not merit attention. BE HAPPY!!!!!... (read in full...)

Pregnant by an ex lover when I was supposed to be working on my marriage with my husband....what should I do?

Q.   Well please dont judge me, I made an horrible bad decision, and im hurting trendmendously. Separated from husband over an year ago. Had sex with and ex lover and now Im pregnant. Husband and I were suppose to be working on us and I sliped up bad, ...

A.   5 April 2011: BE HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBAND... it is going to hurt him but he will later thank you for you. Regarding your pregnancy, you should definetly tell your lover and decide TOGETHER what to do. Also keep in mind that your husband can easily obtain custody ... (read in full...)

I am not sure if I can deal with her sexual history, should I cancel my marriage plans?

Q.   I recently got engaged with a girl that i love, she is about 35 and i am 30, during our initial dates she did tell me that she had many ex-partners and also a lesbian sex with as many as 5 girls, everytime we make love i have to use my fingures ...

A.   17 January 2011: Honestly my friend what you are feeling will never go away. Contrary to what some people might say.. you have all the right in the world to feel like this. I do suggest you be honest with her and let her know what is going on. she has all the right ... (read in full...)

Am I a whore for wanting casual sex, sometimes with guys from the same circle of friends?

Q.   I'm 24, single, and I have had 10 sexual partners, my sister is younger than me and is in a relationship, and she constantly dissaproves of my "love" life. She thinks I'm a whore. I've had my one night stands, also my serious relationships, ...

A.   17 January 2011: well you do what you want with your life...but there are so meny other ways of enjoyinh your single life besdes opening your legs... i do not know how someone could do such things considering the amount of STD's. I imagine that the day you deci... (read in full...)

Why did she sleep around?

Q.   Why did my good friend sleep around? I have a friend who just broke up with her high school bf of 2.5years. He dumped her in her first week at college. He was an average looking guy at best she is beautiful. My question is why has she suddenly...

A.   17 January 2011: the excuse about getting your "ex" out of your system is ridiculous... Ihave ronken up many times and never had to reduce my self to this level. Many people say it is a period of being a rebel but I do not agree... she was simply confused but this ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend is not 100% honest with me.

Q.   Hey people I REALLY need some advice... My girfriend and I have been dating for over 4 years now and even though we had our rough periods (4months breakup) that happened almost a year ago we still are back together and are going strong.....

A.   17 January 2011: My friend... experience has tought me that a lie lead to another lie and so forth. Ig you feel insecure and loss of trust in her, do your self a favor and split up. Even though some people might not agree with me on this, but I'd rather be at ease ... (read in full...)

Regretting marrying my wife as she isnt the woman I thought she was

Q.   This is my situation... I am married and have a newborn child (4 months) but I can't stand the fact that my wife was what some might consider a "slut". She slept with 16 guys, slept with a married man regardless of her knowing that was his ...

A.   19 November 2010: Actually before I posted my questions I was already getting counseling for this issue. Guess I just needed reassurance of my stupid and unnecesary behavior. Before I even posted the question here I was about to let things go and just be happy, but I ... (read in full...)

Regretting marrying my wife as she isnt the woman I thought she was

Q.   This is my situation... I am married and have a newborn child (4 months) but I can't stand the fact that my wife was what some might consider a "slut". She slept with 16 guys, slept with a married man regardless of her knowing that was his ...

A.   18 November 2010: Thank you for your words my friends... I have realyzed that I have been an immature prick and now I am happy with my wife!!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!... (read in full...)

Just how detrimental is friends with benefits?

Q.   I'm feeling really confused. I've been friends with this guy for many many years now, and it's really special what we have together. He was my first crush, and I believe at different points in our friendship we both got confused feelings for each...

A.   16 November 2010: Friends with benefits is detrimental to you as a woman. do not allow yourself to be used just for your genitalia. You are worth more than that... I do recognize that you feel for him but would you want to risk meeting someone willing to commit just ... (read in full...)

Regretting marrying my wife as she isnt the woman I thought she was

Q.   This is my situation... I am married and have a newborn child (4 months) but I can't stand the fact that my wife was what some might consider a "slut". She slept with 16 guys, slept with a married man regardless of her knowing that was his ...

A.   16 November 2010: Listen... I came across the wrong way. What I meant was that why was it ok for my wife to do all those things with other men but me being her husband can't even ask her to have that sort of fun with me??? I am sorry but I do not judge her I th... (read in full...)

I cheated and never told him

Q.   im with my boyfriend 5 years and we have a daughter together and another child on the way. I should be happy but im not because i cheated at christmas and never told him the truth. Before you judge me listen to my story first. i was just 18 when i ...

A.   31 October 2010: What ever your situation was what you did is wrong so do not try to justify what can't be justified. I do feel for you and I do suggest you be honest with you "man"... in love honesty is key. It will hurt but eventually he will get around it and ... (read in full...)

I'm getting sick and tired apart from frustrated by the fact that my boyfriend doesn't want to give me oral!

Q.   I'm getting sick and tired apart from frustrated by the fact that my boyfriend doesn't want to give me oral... this might turn out really long, in a way I just want to vent, but also some words of advise or opinions that can make me feel better w...

A.   27 October 2010: Looks to me that he actually even though he might not say it... but you are his first but he isn't your first. That being said looks to me that he thinks that putting his mouth were other men have put his penis is nasty... Just being honest..... (read in full...)

What can I do to get my marriage back?

Q.   My wife and I been married for 3 years now. We had our ups and downs too. we have 1 kid together that is 3 years old, a stepson with her that is 6 years. We been separated for 4 months now and she wont return my messages or anything of the matter. ...

A.   14 October 2010: Before you ask for advice... put all the situation clear, what did you do that made your wife act like she does at this moment, please clarify in order for anyone to give you adewuate advice. PS; if your wife is with someone after only 4 months o... (read in full...)

Where are the good men hiding?

Q.   Right now I'm very discouraged. Where are all the good men hiding? In the past years my dating experiences have been bad. I've tried dating friends, acquaintances, co workers, random people.. nothing seems to work. I think I'm a fairly normal pe...

A.   11 October 2010: Looks to me that you need to be clear on what you want in a man...there are plenty of us to go around, just look in the right place... (read in full...)

I'm a near perfect husband! Why has she left me?

Q.   My wife of 2 years (together for 7) moved out about 2 months ago because she needed time to find herself and learn to love herself. After that, things spiraled downward drastically. A man she met on a trip earlier this summer visited her the very ...

A.   11 October 2010: look man your wife is out of order. By any chance you get married to ask for time out or to find love for her self... get real this marriage is over. When someone acts the way your wife does... her situation usually has a first and last name and ... (read in full...)

My girl friend and I have been together for 2 yeas she confessed she cheated on me recently I still love her what do I do??

Q.   Im 16 My girlfriend(17 but same grade) and I have been together for 2 years almost and one day out of the clear blue she just dumped me the night of the homecomeing dance I thought this was very odd and I was devistated and I kept trying to win her ...

A.   4 October 2010: My friend you are just a kid... move on. You will find someone worthy of your time and above all affection. MOVE ON... (read in full...)

How will I ever regain his trust?

Q.   Ok, so I really messed up. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Needless to say we have had many ups and downs over the years. Recently I began talking to an old friend who I used to have feelings for and have slept with. I know he has f...

A.   30 September 2010: Honestly... you need to get one thing straight... you lied and cheated on your boyfriend. Do not expect for him to be "all is nice and perfect" in just a couple of days or weeks. The problem here is that you lied, and that led to a worse ... (read in full...)

He is thinking of leaving his wife for me, but I'm worried he may only be leaving because he thinks the grass is greener on the other side....

Q.   Ok, it's best to start at the beginning. I work with a guy who is 15 years older than me, have always had a soft spot, and the room kinda lit up when I saw him. I hadn't realised that (2 years down the line) he had felt the same as me. He is ...

A.   29 September 2010: If you want to have a relationship with him... wait until he leaves his wife. Many men say that they will leave their wife just to end up being lies. Avoid ending up being his mistress... if he wants to get in your pants (just being honest) make ... (read in full...)

G/f lied to me and was used as a sex toy for 2 years

Q.   When I met my girlfriend, she told me she hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. While "technically," this was true, it turns out she had had a "casual relationship" with a man for two years. And she continued having sex with him for a short time even ...

A.   10 September 2010: Contrary to what people say that the past is past and shit like that... let's get real... men do care about there partners past and so do women. For now it is all cool to say she lovs you and focus on that... try explaining that to your kids if ... (read in full...)

I'm too shallow to overcome her sexual past

Q.   My girlfriend of 9 months has slept with lots of partners and i am finding it hard getting over it. I am 20 and she is 18. She has slept with 9 people before me. Her first was when she was 14, she's slept with someone who was 21 when she was 15,...

A.   3 August 2010: My friend you have done nothing wrong. I do suggest get away from this relationship and start a "fresh" one with someone that is similar to your values. Contrary to what some people say... it is her past and HER's only, you do not have to deal with ... (read in full...)

I want to love her without being disgusted at her past and where she has been.

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now however we have known each other and been close for 3 years. She has had 4 claimed sexual partners including me, I have had 3. Were both 23. She had sexual relations with her much older ...

A.   3 August 2010: I will be honest... contrary to what people might say that "the past is past" and that "she loves you now" , you have all the right in the world to feel this way. SEX is something that should be left to share with people that YOU LOVE AND NOT FOR ... (read in full...)

Will I get hurt having an affair with a married man?

Q.   A few months ago I met a man online just chatting he told me right off that he was married and that he and his wife love each other yet they do allow each other to do whatever they wish . Anyway we clicked and we met up we just had our sceond ...

A.   28 July 2010: YES you will get hurt.... the first thing is that you do not go around sleeping with married men. Have some respect. And since you already served him as his whore... I honestly think this will stay with you the rest of your life. Leave him and ... (read in full...)

Married man is playing games with me and my friend, I'm lost. Please help!

Q.   Hi to you all, I hope you can help!! I am having a lot of attention from a married guy and it has been going on for a long time. we get along so well that I have become very attracted to him , to the point where I think of him more than I shou...

A.   17 July 2010: The answer is easy... HE IS MARRIED... getting into something with him will put your dignity on the ground.. and I believe that you wouldn't want to have a dirty conscience the rest of your life.. do you??? Just tell himto stop, and honey there ar... (read in full...)

I'm scared to have sex again, it's been so long. What should I do?

Q.   Well i haven't had sex but once and that was when i lost my virginity...it wasn't what i expected so that's why i refrained from having sex for a year but now im in a relationship with a guy who i truly love and i really would like to get intimate ...

A.   17 July 2010: If your heart says no... just go with your instinct. If you do have intimacy remember CONDOMS always practice safe sex!!!!... (read in full...)

Do I tell my boyfriend my ex was married?

Q.   Hello I have got a new boyfriend who is very special to me, the problem is do i tell him that my ex boyfriend was married when he asks about previous boyfriends or do you think he won't ask me anything?...

A.   17 July 2010: Well honey let's get one thing straight first... your EX WAS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!! And about telling him... well you should, we all know that the past is the past and nothing can be done about it, but if your current BF wants something serious with... (read in full...)

My boyfriend constantly gives me a hard time for my past, and it makes me miserable!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am writing with tears on my eyes 'cause devastated. I will try to make my story short. I met my bf while in college and while in college I acted a little crazy and mess around with a couple of guys. My bf and I were not together...

A.   17 July 2010: Well allow me to tell you something... it is true the past is past and nothing can be done about it but when things do get serious like marriage and children it plays a really and I mean a really big part. My wife has a really "wild" past and I do... (read in full...)

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