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| | *izz.butterflies's profile:I love knowing I can change someone's life by providing the right advice.Since I was little I was advising my friends and when I couldn't advise myself I would seek the advice of others.
The kind of advice I tend to give is practical.I put the person who asked FIRST,and morality second.I am not worried much about what society suggests,as society views are always altered by the time/area we live in. My faith in God results in Morality,but I will always consider YOUR good first,then societys.
Thanks for reading this Have fun & God Bless |
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Torn between my current stable relationship, and the possibilities of what could happen with this other girl if we were both single.....
Q. Sooo this may seem like a really confusing question but i thank you in advance if you read this all and give advice Sooo me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 3 years now, we started dating in our senior year of high school and this ...
A. 2 September 2010: I met this guy when he was dating his girlfriend for 4 months. He was a perfect gentleman,no booty call thing, I NEVER in my life shared a better connection with someone than i did with him. We couldnt be together due to the fact that i ... (read in full...)
Multicultural marriage becoming overwhelming
Q. I've been married to a Luo Kenyan (we just celebrated 9 years mid-August). We have a 5 and 6 year old girl and boy. We both live away from our families, he, obviously much farther than I as we live in the US. Lately things have been strained b/c #1 ...
A. 2 September 2010: tell him he needs to respect ur culture also,as uve been brought up differently than he has. go out to dinner with him and discuss this away from home,on a neutral ground. remind him all the nice times u had and state u do wanna be with him but u ... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this? it's breaking up our family!
Q. My kids father and i have been on and off for 5 years. The past 3 we were going strong, and never broke up until a few months ago.he filled my head with empty promises of marriage and more kids one day. he has cheated on me one but it was for a few ...
A. 1 September 2010: come on now.u cant get over him? this man treats u like crap,these are ur OWN words,sweety. I might be a little harsh on you but thats only because i dont wanna hear you sufferin with him. the man is a player.and not only that,he has no job ... (read in full...)
Both married, does she want more than what we already have?
Q. Okay to start off I don't give a crap about the morals involved that is not what I'm asking so just keep those comments to yourself. Who I want to hear from is women who are in love with a married coworker (male). Or if your just in love with a ...
A. 1 September 2010: do u want a sexual fling,or a relationship with her?
to me,she seems she is a flirt,and enjoys ur company and compliments.
on the other hand,she could really want u but gives u mixed signal because shes married.
why dont u sit down and have... (read in full...)
Be kicked out or have a happy girlfriend?
Q. Hi, i met my gf when I was 19 n she was 16, for the first year I wasn't aloud in the upstairs part of her house let alone in her room and i wasn't aloud to stay past midnight.. When we had been going out for a year her mum let me go upstairs but i ...
A. 1 September 2010: get ur respect back by moving out ON YOUR OWN. and if u want a place to have sex,u can always find one. Your sister should deal with her mother after you have moved out.best of luck... (read in full...)
Which guy should I choose , if any?
Q. What do you do when you have several guys that like you? I am a 20 year old junior in college, and I'm really not sure what I should do about these guys. The first one is a guy that goes to my college with me; he's an international st...
A. 30 August 2010: tennisstar is so cute and funny lol."cowboy"
anyway,haha. umm about the international dude,yes he would be clingy,if u already feeling like hes a little clingy,if u too date,and if u give up the good good,he most likely will go soooo crazy that you ... (read in full...)
Long distance confusion
Q. In short, I met an American during 3mths over there (I'm in uk) and now I've had to return home due to my visa. He was charming, a gentleman, lovely and funny but totally incapable of expressing an feeling. He cried at the airport when I left but ...
A. 30 August 2010: hrm this guy is a mystery. don't expect him to tell u his true feelings,watever they might be. if he asks you why u wanna come to america,just say its the job thing. if he wants u,he will pursue u.... (read in full...)
I haven't had sex in over a year and am getting worried
Q. I am 25 and I haven't had sex in over a year. I also have never really had a relationship (unless u count my first one of a few months with a guy who turned out to be gay or a few month long distance thing). I am overweight nd always have been...
A. 30 August 2010: are u worried about havin sex or havin a relationship?
if u want sex,dress up,go to a club,have a few drinks and BAM.
if u want a relationship,u need to try harder than that.... (read in full...)
I wan't her back, I miss her!
Q. Ok I meet this girl online about 2 yrs ago. In I gave here my phone number in she called me up. After that we started to talk for a long time. Like for 2 yrs stright. When I meet her she had a boyfriend but she broke up with him after a 8yr ...
A. 30 August 2010: oh boy.where does she live?
and umm,i totally sympathize with you,you invested so much into this relationship where she probably hasn't.u did all the work,u went to her place everytime,while she wasnt makin any effort.u need to ask urself WHY u wa... (read in full...)
Really like this girl but she says the long distance is too much against us. What can I do?
Q. I know this is very long but I'd REALLY appreciate it if you helped me out. Thanks! (we're both 16 years old, both play trumpet, go to diff schools, parents know each other, live 25 mins away) So me and this girl met at a Lions Band tryout last N...
A. 28 August 2010: Come on,the girl REALLY likes you,she just wanted a bit of PERSISTENCE on your part! and I don't mean WITH WORDS. You handled the texts absolutely great. It's in the actions. Keep playing the "best friend" role,until you get her alone. Kiss her,hold ... (read in full...)
Online date doesn't look at all like her photos. I'm not attracted, even a little repulsed by her appearance!
Q. I met this woman online, very quickly the relationship escalated emotionaly, we exchanged many pictures and shared with eachother about our feelings, hopes and fears on a very deep level. We decided to meet, so i went down to where she lives ...
A. 28 August 2010: a good idea is to watch each other on webcam before you meet. Pictures don't do any justice. But u should also keep in mind,women aren't like men.I look 10 times different with curly hair,than I do with straight hair.The hair color is also ... (read in full...)
His gf dumped him...how do I let him know am interested in dating him?
Q. This guy friend of mine, we worked together until his contract was canceled. When we worked together he liked to flirt with me and stuff, but we never get into anything b/c he had a GF and we were just joking. Now, his GF dumped him, so he's try...
A. 28 August 2010: Ok,you need to be smart here. First,guys are a little slow.
So he might not even suspect you like him. Try to get him to spend some time with you. Say you wanna watch this movie,and ask him if he would like to come along. Make it instant : For exam... (read in full...)
I want to know more about my boyfriend's past hook ups!
Q. Hi I have been dating my current bf for a year and 8 months.. He's had more of a past with girls than I have (I was a virgin), he's done it with 6 girls. I ask him questions about his past experiences but he doesn't like to answer them and gets ...
A. 28 August 2010: It doesn't matter what he has done in the past.The present is what matters and the future. Stop asking him. Do you wanna be the girl of his dreams or just another girl who wont stop asking him about his fast? Why do you wanna be a typical woman? ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend didn't seem too thrilled to hear from me after her vacation--WHY?
Q. Hi, I'm just really confused right now. And I really miss my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are both 20 years old, and we were doing very well before she left for a week long vacation. We've been spending nights together, sharing a lot of ...
A. 28 August 2010: play hard to get,if anything don't go to her like a puppy that missed his master. let her contact u.the first time she does so,act like ur a little busy and tell her ur gonna call her back. Play the game like she does.... (read in full...)
Separated from my wife -- and enjoying it
Q. My wife and I are separated. I wanted the separation. We both were at fault, but among other things, she was unfaithful. We are going to a marriage counselor. I thought I wouldn't enjoy this time apart from my wife whom I love, but I do. This h...
A. 28 August 2010: you have already moved on.... (read in full...)
Does familiarity kill desire?
Q. Do all men lose desire for their partner when they've been together for a while? Does familiarity kill desire? It is my dream to have a relationship with someone, that lasts, with someone who I can connect intellectually and emotionally with, sh...
A. 25 August 2010: he's already thinking of dumping you but he's using you for something so he's not breaking up with you yet.maybe hes waiting for another woman to come across before he dumps you.stop being like a puppy,trying to get him in the mood.u tried enough.it ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby in a LDR
Q. I have recently got involved in a LDR, and have fallen in love with my man. I met him while on vacation in the US Virgin Islands, and Im from the states. I am 25 and I am ready to start a family, and he wants to as well. Unfortunately he is on ...
A. 25 August 2010: why are u in such a hurry to have a baby by him? Can't you wai t till he moves to the states with you?why the rush?... (read in full...)
No One Likes My Husband
Q. Help! My husband and I have separated after 10 years of marriage due to the way he treated/rejected my adult child. We are working on our relationship, however, I have just been made aware that no one in my family likes him at all and has only ...
A. 25 August 2010: how did he treat ur child?
and whats important to u? the way u see him or ur family sees ya or the holidays and the family functions?
get your priorities straight.... (read in full...)
Please help.I'm not sure what to do with me and him??
Q. i really want to know what to do... me and my boyfiend met on the internet on begginging of 2008 and met on 14th of august, and were still together, we have soo many memories and so much more i know will become, we do so many different stuff, like ...
A. 25 August 2010: Honey you're still so young. You're growing,and your dreams and desires will eventually change.
There's only one way to stop the fighting. IGNORE HIM. Until he sits down and you calmly talk to him and say you are about to move on if you continue... (read in full...)
Younger sister is disrespectful
Q. Ok,so I am 20 and I have a younger sister who is 18. When we were kids,we used to get along really well,until I fell in love with someone I met online when I was like 15.Since then,I felt she started losing respect for me.When I was 17 I left the...
A. 23 August 2010: About the job thing,it's not like she has a boss or she will get paid. It's 3 dollars per hour (ridiculous) and she just wants to help her friend.I don't care about it,but i care about the fact that she should have told me before she agreed to stay ... (read in full...)
Is she playing hard to get? or do I really mean nothing to her?
Q. Sorry in advance for the wall of text. Ok so I don't have the best track record when it comes to dating. Many of the girls I asked out in high school simply avoided my advacnes all together. Needless to say I was a little jaded from these girls and ...
A. 23 August 2010: she has had bad experiences and to me she seems that ahe's kinda angry with the male gender. Hence she behaves rudely,because she's afraid that she will get hurt again.
her behavior towards you was totally unacceptable. when u said u were serious ... (read in full...)
Police wife, I am considering divorce!
Q. Police wife. I am considering divorce. His job is killing our marriage. We work opposite schedules. Did I mention we are newly weds? Only two months. I lived with him a year-and-half before married, and he was with a different department and worked ...
A. 23 August 2010: Angelripper is 100% on point.
You're not happy.
And the way i see it,you are not compatible either.
Leave him before you have kids with him.... (read in full...)
Is he mad at me or did he just lose interest?
Q. ok so long story short i was texting this guy who everyone said liked me and wanted to go out with me, and he did ask me out. about a month ago i got my phone taken away. this guy and i texted a lot. and i mean a lot. practically every day. but ...
A. 23 August 2010: Don't let him know you saw his facebook page.
Since he lives across the street,try to run into him. Be friendly and tell him briefly the story about your phone,then tell him you need to go to the store. Ask him if he wants to come with you. If ... (read in full...)
Are we seeing each other too much?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years, I'm in my twenties and he's a year younger than me(pretty much more mature than me) we have seen each other every day since we first started going out (we hang out from 2 in the afternoon till 9 in ...
A. 23 August 2010: the only problem with this is if something bad happens,then u will be left with no social life.invest in some friendships too.... (read in full...)
Do I respect my girlfriend... Why do I think this way?
Q. [Mod Note: OP's own title] So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months. WE love each other. We've introduced each other to our families and we're talking long term relationship stuff. HOwever, I don't know if I r...
A. 17 June 2010: 2 points here.
1) do you respect yourself? Do you want to be treated respectfully by a girlfriend? if yes u should respect her. your pasts have been the same,so ur not an angel either.
2) the answer to WHY is because deep down ur a traditional... (read in full...)
Is she lying about her "size" preferences?
Q. OK, I'm having a major issue with something that I know is terribly immature, but I can't help it. I am dealing with the "her ex is bigger" syndrome (his 9 to my 6), and I am OK with myself and my abilities, but I can't understand the mixed signals ...
A. 16 June 2010: if u dont stop being insecure about it,she will soon find you insecure and dump u.since she likes the sex with u,u shouldnt be worried. stop the nonsense bout toys. and its not a good thing to know about someones past in such detail,cuz now u see ur ... (read in full...)
Online communication is great! In person it is almost non-existent!
Q. Hey. I really like this guy, and I think he likes me back. I’m worried that I’m getting my hopes up over nothing so could you tell me what you think, please? We started off as mutual friends just speaking on msn but we’ve grown a lot closer recently...
A. 15 June 2010: This is so cute!!! Just arrange a movie date. This way,ur gonna be watching something,therefore u wont need to talk. Go watch a comedy so u can laugh.if u laugh together,the ice will break. Later that night go for icecream or a donought so u can ... (read in full...)
Is he really interested? Do I text too much?
Q. Been on three dates with this guy. Had a brief kiss on the second date (dinner at his home) and a long kiss on the third date. He is planning to come to dinner at my home and stay the night because he lives 1 hour away. I text him everyday and ...
A. 15 June 2010: Slap urself the minute u wrote "hes going to spend the night because he lives one hour away from me" are u serious? u really need to read WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES. Uh-hellO! in his mind,everything is already done. Hes gon come to ur place,try to sleep ... (read in full...)
Parents' statement "you can do what you want when you are 18 but til then..." seems to have been all a lie!
Q. I'm having major issues with my parents right now. I turned 18 last month and they have always said (in passing, and seemingly without conviction, as you will find) "you can do what you want when you are 18 but til then..." Now, my two best ...
A. 14 June 2010: stop asking for their permission. theyre acting very immature and irresponsible. dont ask them to be reasonable. just tell them they need to trust u and u wont spend ur whole life trying to convince them.dont mention anythin about the trip ... (read in full...)
I know I'm happy with him, I know I love him, so why am I so worried and obsessed with thinking things will never work out!
Q. I've found myself a really great guy. We met in a bit of a sketchy way, and it was completly by chance. I was ill one weekend and needed to kill some time, so I went on a chat site and started talking to him. We both shared a few similar interests, ...
A. 14 June 2010: I dont think ur scared of love. ur scared of the possibility that he wont be the same person when u guys meet. u just know him online.u can only know how he thinks.u cant know how he acts. u need to meet him.... (read in full...)
It's been 5 months but I can't stop thinking about her!
Q. Apologies for the length of this. I met this girl a month ago on a medical course in Nottingham. We met on the first day, and over the four days we got on so so well, everything clicked, our personalities, our interests, our jokes and she wa...
A. 6 June 2010: your classified as a stalker,its hard to change this now...unless...u get a female friend of urs to act like shes ya girl then hang out wiht the rest of them so ur love can see ur new girl and how u treat her and gets jealous....ITS A VERY HARD ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if he calls me baby now
Q. does it mean anything if a guy switches from calling me babe to calling me baby? Ive been talking to this guy for a couple of months but neither of us have talked about a relationship. We see each other when we can. At first he started calling me ...
A. 3 June 2010: Well my ex told me in a joking manner "Imma call u babe and when ur sweet and act right ill call u baby"
so yes,things r getting more intimate.... (read in full...)
It's been 5 months but I can't stop thinking about her!
Q. Apologies for the length of this. I met this girl a month ago on a medical course in Nottingham. We met on the first day, and over the four days we got on so so well, everything clicked, our personalities, our interests, our jokes and she wa...
A. 3 June 2010: Damn this is so messed up. U are a very sweet guy,I can tell.
This is probably what happened = You are a little too soft for her. I dont think distance was the real reason she rejected you.You only live an hour away from each other.that's NOTH... (read in full...)
I know this is my problem and not his, but I really don't know how to handle this!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for four months now, and it's the best relationship I've ever been in. I'm 23 and he's 31, but we have connected in a way that I've never experienced before and he says, neither has he. I was with my ex for four years an...
A. 2 June 2010: dont do anything u already agreed on things. if u see difference in his behavior,u can suspect something is going on but for now things seem pretty normal,so just relax and have a good time ... (read in full...)
I do not feel attracted to my wife anymore, what should I do?
Q. I will start this post by making clear that I love my wife very much, unfortunately, I am not attracted to her. We have been married for about a year now, we are a pretty young couple, she is under 20 and I am under 25. We decided to get m...
A. 16 May 2010: you married a woman under 20? are you serious? and you expect her to be matture enough to recognize what she's doing?she has taken you for granted,she thinks you'll always gonna be there.it's rtime to get bold.its time to see you as a MAN. talk her ... (read in full...)
He won't tell me the results of his STD check--has he cheated?
Q. Hi all. Do you know when you are with someone and suspect that they are cheating on you but can't prove it?? It is the most frustrating thing ever. I've never been in this situation before, so I don't know if it is just me or if the signs are ...
A. 13 May 2010: call the doctor he went to and ask for the results.... (read in full...)
We have only been dating for a month and she is moving abroad, where does this leave me?
Q. ok so ive been seeing this girl for a month. shes told me she really likes me in a text. also told a mutual friend. She told me shes off to ibiza in about 2 weeks to work til september. Im ment to be going out there at some point maybe j...
A. 13 May 2010: Well since she's only going there temporarily and will be back,don't try anything now. Tell her that you will be glad to see her when she gets back and wish her to have fun in ibiza. Add you might go there for a short period of time too.dont tell ... (read in full...)
Should I be embarrassed my marriage isn't working?
Q. I put on a happy front for other people when they ask about my married life, but I am not really happy. We enjoy movies, dancing, and fun together but for many reasons, I am not happy in our marriage. My husband was spoiled when he was younger and ...
A. 11 May 2010: you seem very smart and the smartest thing you can do is DIVORCE HIM.he will beg you to stay,not because he loves you,but because he doesnt want to lose his MOTHER. good luck ur gonna find a new guy soon!... (read in full...)
Why does my dad favor my sister over my mum and I?
Q. I just really want to know why my father treats me like this... I have a 28 year old sister. She lives in Canada; my father talks to her everyday. I'm 14 and, unfortunately, I have to see poor excuse for a father (that's an exaggeration. I'...
A. 11 May 2010: Is she really his daughter or his mistress? I dont know it sounds really suspicious. And if she is his daughter, then yeah, hes trying to make up for the time they didnt talk. She sounds effed up and he does too. Support your mother the best way you ... (read in full...)
Did my wife have gay tendencies?
Q. I have been with my wife for about 2 years total and one year married. I love my wife more then life itself, and we have a baby on the way. However, a past relationship she had with one of her friends (who is a girl) has always vexed me. Just befo...
A. 11 May 2010: She's not gay. I got a very good friend I cuddle with and tell her I love her. It's a girls thing. Don't be so curious and enjoy ur wife.... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision to cut her out of my life?
Q. This is about as complicated as it gets, so I'll try to be as clear as possible - apologies for the length and the spelling/grammar errors below. The story goes: Back when I was 15, I met a girl in my home town. We fell in love, and start...
A. 11 May 2010: Thanks for giving us the whole picture and writing such a clear message to read. Ok,first off let me say that over the years you created an "ideal" picture of that girl. You thought all your past relationships didnt last,so she must be the one.... (read in full...)
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