I've been seeing a married man for 6 years and I think he's talking to other girls online!
Q. Hi: I have been seeing a married man for 6 years now, he tells me he loves me but he keeps chatting with women on line and wanting to get to know them better. When I ask him about he says it is not true but I know otherwise, what should I do?...
A. 5 August 2008: I'm not sure what you are expecting from him? He is cheating on his wife with you so why wouldn't he cheat on you too?
As hard as it may be, it sounds like it is time to let this one go. There are plenty of men out there who would love to be with ... (read in full...)
How do you convince someone you're being honest if they refuse to believe it?
Q. So i split from someone months ago, my choice. Wasn't working, very dysfuncional relationship, split, get back together, split get back together, you get the picture. Anyway, been a bit of a struggle since, but managed to keep it on civil terms, and ...
A. 5 August 2008: He is just trying to pull your chain. Ignore him. Try to put some distance between you two so you don't have to be around him all the time.
Good luck xo!... (read in full...)
We have no sex life. Am I being a selfish bitch?
Q. I am with a guy for the last year and a half and we get on very well in general in that we don't really argue but lately i am getting more and more unhappy, problem is we have no sex life. He has made many excuses as to why we don't, depression, ...
A. 30 July 2008: There is nothing wrong with you at all. You just happened to get two bone heads for boyfriends.
Have you noticed when things start turning sour in a relationship, things seldom get better?
... (read in full...)
Am I justified in saying I can't return to Canada with my wife when my kids are here?
Q. I'm currently married to a Canadian woman who has a 14 year old son from a previous relationship who lives with his father in Canada. I have 3 children from a previous marriage who are 16, 15 and 12 who live with my ex wife. We have been married for ...
A. 29 July 2008: You were fine with her leaving her 8-9 year old to live with you. Her child was just a little thing and still needed his mum.
Why is it ok for her to leave her small child but not for you to leave your much older ones?
An 8-9 year old doesn't... (read in full...)
Is asking my boyfriend for oral sex unfair?
Q. I am a virgin, which my boyfriend knows, but we have had anal. There are a lot of reasons I don't want to have sex with him that I won't include here. But one thing is that he's small in that department (I can't imagine that I would honestly feel ...
A. 29 July 2008: Your boyfriend is the one being selfish. I wonder how long he would put up with getting all aroused but never getting to finish?
And no, you aren't a virgin.
I would tell him and make him give you an orgasm before he is allowed to get a... (read in full...)
He used to be completely obsessive, but now he could care less! What gives?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in our long-distance relationship for eight agonizing months now. We were actually together for four months and then he had to move away. He plans to come back in another year, but the wait is killing me. On top of...
A. 10 July 2008: It does sound like he has lost interest. I would just stop contacting him and see what happens.
Best wishes xo... (read in full...)
Married for a year and I don't understand why I am so miserable.
Q. I am 22 years old and been married a year. My husband is a great man, the type or man that i am beyond lucky to have. i don't understand why im miserable then. I moved away from my home town, and met this man 6 months after i moved. i do love him...
A. 9 July 2008: It sounds like you married too young. Why not try some counseling to help sort things out?
Best wishes xo... (read in full...)
I'm scared to move in together in case it doesn't work!
Q. Dear readers, I am stuck in an unusual situation. I am divorced with a 4 year old daughter, and my boyfriend of 4 months is divorced, no children. We live an hour apart but are very much in love, and he was asked for us to live together to save on ...
A. 8 July 2008: I would say date him for another year first. What is the rush to move in when you can lose everything?
Follow your head and not your heart in this matter.
Most relationships don't work out. You would be really mad at yourself if you gave up e... (read in full...)
Where can I find a decent man? I've tried all the suggestions!
Q. When I read various problems from other people and have one myself similar-I always smile when people say dump him get out there and find a man who really loves you. I dont think there are many men who want love or a steady woman or girl friend. ...
A. 5 July 2008: It really does seem that once men have been burned by marriage, they are hesitant to do it again.
Then men have figured out they have to do very little to get their needs met from a woman so they offer up the bare minimum.
This ties in with the... (read in full...)
Why would a guy have sex with a girl and not want her to be his girlfriend?
Q. If a guy doesn't want a girl to be his girlfriend but still wants to have sex with her, does that mean that shes ugly or doesnt have a good personality?...
A. 5 July 2008: Lazy Guy that is the best post I've read this week! Bravo!
I think women think guys are like women in their thinking so they think they will give sex to say please like me. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
... (read in full...)
I am married but considering leaving for a married man, should I do it?
Q. I am married and I fall in love with a married man.We were together 3 years,then I left with my family(I have a daughter 15yo)abroad.I thought this man would stop me from leaving,but he didn´t...he kept silent till my very last day before the ...
A. 4 July 2008: Does he have any plans on getting divorced?
I think it is a dangerous thing to move to another country and be entirely dependent on a married man. If his wife found out, you could end up homeless in the street.
What is wrong with your curren... (read in full...)
I am feeling overwhelmed, trying to be a good mom, but I really need help, how do I get it?
Q. ok so im a mum of three 6,5,2 and married i feel like i cant cope my husband works long hours so i have to get up early and get the kids dressed then do all the housework dinner is always ready then he will go out to football training or casino and ...
A. 3 July 2008: How about hiring a housekeeper to help out with some of the chores and hiring a babysitter for a few hours at a time so you can have some private time?
Have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling and see if he can help you out some... (read in full...)
Financially dependent on her, using her for sex, hating myself, what do I do?
Q. Wow, so I am in a really bad situation. It really sucks, and I feel like SUCH an asshole for not doing anything about it. Basically, I am in a relationship that I dont want to be in. I dont like her, I for sure dont love her, and I only am with her ...
A. 3 July 2008: I'm wondering why you posted the question?
It would be sad that one day when you really fall in love with someone, it turns out they are using you, wouldn't it?
Why are you afraid to let go of this relationship?... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over 600,000 visitors last month!
Q. Just a quickie We broke the 600,000 unique users/month (i.e. people!) last month. According to google analytics we had 638,310 visitors from June 1st to June 30th. Doesn't seem that long ago we passed the half a million mark. Thanks to all t...
A. 2 July 2008: Well done!!!!! This is such a great place of help for people!... (read in full...)
My husband left me when he found out I lied to him years ago, now I can't make him listen to my side of the story.
Q. My husband left us just before Xmas saying that he 'wanted out' and didn't feel anything for me anymore. This started because many years ago I told him a lie and he found out about it. The thing is the lie was explainable and justifiable but he will ...
A. 2 July 2008: I think your husband is being beyond ridiculous over this. Yes what you did was very wrong but good grief, it was over 20 years ago and I am sure he has told lies and has done things he isn't proud of.
Were there other problems in your marriage... (read in full...)
If I loose weight, will it help me attract guys?
Q. People tell me that I'm not fat, but I would like to lose some weight because the extra pounds on me revolt me. I am going to, for the sake of my health as well as attracting guys, but what I wonder is: if I were to lose weight and improve my ...
A. 24 June 2008: Are you in a healthy BMI range? You can google BMI and plug in your height and weight to find out.
At any weight, a daily exercise regimen is an excellent habit to develop. It will serve you well and keep you healthier longer.... (read in full...)
Why after we dated for a year does he not speak to me anymore?
Q. I was a single woman for two years. I decided to give myself another try with a man after being by myself. The relationship was good in the beginning. I felt that I finally found a good man. We became good friends first then it moved to a more ...
A. 24 June 2008: He is probably ashamed of how he treated you so he thinks saying and doing nothing is better.
What is it that you are wanting from this now?
... (read in full...)
Will my soul mate commit to our relationship?
Q. I fell in love with this guy @ 20 years ago. We dated on and off for many of those years. He always told me that he loved me and cared about me. After a became fed up with the fact he would not commit I ended the relationship and got married ...
A. 24 June 2008: You have spent a lot of time with him over the years; what are the reasons he has given you for not committing to you before?
He may be your soulmate but do you think he thinks you are his soulmate? I would think if he really wanted to be with you... (read in full...)
We both seem to end up using the 'When you live with me routine'...
Q. Me and my boyfriend split up a few months ago, and got back together, we decided to really work on our relationship and spent a lot of time together, and decided we would work on moving in together, we began to get the house he has decorated. This ...
A. 24 June 2008: When are you actually going to move in together? Is there a date? Will it be both of your house or just his house?
Are you saying that you aren't spending enough time together?... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend I caught her daughter having sex while I was walking the dog?
Q. Ok bit of a strange question for you. Well recently I was walking my dog when I came upon my best friends daughter and her boyfriend (well I presume) having sex. Dont get me wrong, it wasnt like an open field, in all fairness it seemed quite a ...
A. 23 June 2008: I think you should mention it so if she doesn't know, at least she will be aware of it. The friend may already know. You could also talk to the daughter about it too and find out if she has birth control etc.... (read in full...)
Do all men manipulate you when you are vulnerable?
Q. I have found in two long term relationships with men that as I get to know them and I start to talk more openly about my feelings and vulnerable aspects of my thoughts or personality they use those very things to either undermine me in an argument ...
A. 23 June 2008: Some people, men and women are manipulators. It is about control and power.
As you know from the other relationships where this happened, it didn't get any better and the relationship ended.
If this is happening in your current relationship, ch... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 23 June 2008: I know you love him and it is hard to let go but I'm sure you see how one sided things are.
The love has to go both ways and he isn't loving towards you at all.
I doubt you would treat someone you love the way he treats you. Think about how ... (read in full...)
He left me for this woman a while ago, now we are back together and I don't know how to deal with their friendship!!!
Q. I do not know how to deal or if I can deal with my boyfriend's frienship with an ex. I left my husband for him 4 years ago as we had an affair and I really do love him otherwise I wouldn't have gotten divorced. I feel that he is my soulmate. We were ...
A. 23 June 2008: I believe if he really loves you, he would get rid of the friend.
How keen would he be for you to be friends with someone you recently slept with?
He can get another financial planner.
Don't let him bully you or make excuses.... (read in full...)
Everyone is better than me? How do I change this mindset?
Q. I have a very low self esteem! I am very insecure of myself. I am very pessimistic. I slightly paranoid. I always think that I am always at the bottom apex; that everyone is better than me. I know I'm not good-looking. Maybe it's because of my size ...
A. 23 June 2008: I think it is common for people your age to not have a lot of self-confidence and a main reason for this is you are still developing and finding out who you are.
There will always be people around who appear to be better or worse!
You tho... (read in full...)
Our kids live with me, can she force me to do a DNA test to prove they're not all mine and take them away?
Q. Split up with my long term girlfriend last year and she's been trying to make life difficult for me since. Our kids live with me and that's where they want to be. Now she wants a DNA test to prove they're not all mine. I'm not going to willingly do ...
A. 23 June 2008: Is she wanting the kids to come live with her?
Is there a chance of talking things over with her in a reasonable manner for the kid's sake?
It would probably be best to get legal advice and let the courts handle it.... (read in full...)
I think he's coming round and wants to do stuff, what do I do?
Q. i met this boy called dillon 2day and he seems ded nice but he came my house while i got a drink we went up to the water dispencer in my room coz it ice cold anywayyzz we ended up play fighting messin about he through me on the bed and sed nothin ...
A. 22 June 2008: You just met this boy. I wouldn't let him into your house. Also, here's a little secret you might not have heard; ladies don't allow boys in their bedrooms. That's a mysterious place kept off limits to boys.
Are you left alone all night a lot? Whe... (read in full...)
Quick.. how can I make my boyfriend stay (instead of staying at a friends house) so we can try to get pregnant like we want to?
Q. quick my boyfriend wants 2 go stay a couple nights w/his friends but im ovulating n we've been tryin 2 get prego 4 awhile soo im tryin 2 figure out how 2 make him stay home without makin him feel guilty and without him thinkn tht im mad abt it or ...
A. 22 June 2008: There's a proper order for things. Courtship, Engagement, Marriage, then Babies.
Having a baby is a huge responsibility and expense that lasts the rest of your life.
Have you and your boyfriend discussed marriage and children?
Do ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to be his girlfriend or should I move on?
Q. Should I stay or should I go? And if I go, how can I cope with the pain and find new love, good love? I've been with this man for almost 2 years. He's been amazing most of the time. Except lately. Long story short, we have issues, I've writ...
A. 22 June 2008: Honestly he sounds a bit manipulative.
I think he is being way over the top over things you have done in the past long before you two ever met.
So what does he think you are supposed to do about the past? It can't be changed. He has a past to... (read in full...)
Should I wait around for him to break up with her like he told me he would?
Q. so me and my ex boyfriend just recently broke up, and right after; he got back with a girlfriend he's been on and off with for about a year. it killed me, but i told him i was fine. after about 2 months of them being together; i finally started ...
A. 22 June 2008: No honey, you always want to be someone's number one choice, not their number two.
Go out and date other boys who will think of you as their Plan A; not Plan B.... (read in full...)
It doesn't feel like i`m in a relationship just feels like she lives with me.
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for 6 years. 2 years ago we had broken up for a whole year, cause "I" didn`t make her happy and she had found someone who did. after a few months she left this other person. then tried very hard to be with me again. i ...
A. 15 June 2008: How about the two of you go to counseling to see if you can work out your differences. I think that really helps when you are stuck in a rut.
Best wishes!
... (read in full...)
Should my husband be paying more towards the household?
Q. I remarried 7 years ago after raising my 4 children alone for 10 years.I mananged all the bills alone for all that time with no help from my ex.Money wasn't really talked about with my second husband i just presumed he would contribute.In the ...
A. 15 June 2008: You said he is seriously ill with cancer. Is he able to work and does he have a regular income?... (read in full...)
Gaining weight on my face and arms. Could I see a difference in just one day?
Q. Recently i've noticed that i gain some weight on my body.i notice the weight gain more on my face, and arms.Is it possible for me to drop 5 pounds in one day? I plan to excercise for almost the whole entire day tommorow before father's day on ...
A. 14 June 2008: No, you can't lose 5 pounds in a day and it won't make a difference in your appearance.
Why do you feel you need to lose 5 pounds in one day? What is bothering you about it?
Best wishes
xo... (read in full...)
I love him, but do his flaws make me want to leave him?
Q. I have been dating a guy for over 3 1/2 years. I love him so much, but there are quite a few things that I'm not ok with. I need to know if I should just ignore his "flaws" and be ok with them because it's normal, or should I move on because he's ...
A. 14 June 2008: He does sound rather immature for his age but his mum is enabling him to remain that way. I'm sure she doesn't realize that she is harming him more than helping.
As for what to do it is pretty much up to you. I really don't see him changing... (read in full...)
I'm having twins and my husband cheated on me... now she is calling saying we have to get along for the kids sake!!!!!!!!!!
Q. Hi im 7 months pregnant with identical twins and have a 2 year old boy aswell i have just found out tht my husbund is cheating on me. And as been doing so for around 9 months. Im heart broken and i cant look at him or touch him he makes me feel sick ...
A. 14 June 2008: They both are being ridiculous.
I agree with what rhythmandblues said.
Put him out of the house and change the locks. Change your phone number and don't speak to him until after the babies are born.
You really don't need all this stress.
... (read in full...)
Please help me with my body-image issues!!
Q. Him I'm 19 y/o. I have a stupid problem, and feel so down about it :( The problem is that I'm very sensitive to the images in the media. So I feel very down about my body. I'm average I guess. I'm not really thin, but I'm not overweight. It...
A. 8 June 2008: It is quite difficult to resist the constant bombardment from the media and society on how the perfect woman is supposed to look.
If you look at the reality of it, most of the time with the media, it is used to sell you something.
What a clever... (read in full...)
Why does he bait me and how do I stop it?
Q. I almost started a relationship with a guy I worked with through volunteer work. I found out he was married and stopped things in their tracks. I still see him at the volunteer meetings. It seems I cannot win with him. He told me he wanted to speak...
A. 8 June 2008: You may be a nice person but someone who cheats on their wife isn't nice.
He baits you because he likes the ego stroke and attention.
Just ignore him. He's inconsequential.
xo... (read in full...)
He's a workaholic. Should I let him go?
Q. dear guru at first i really liked this guy im dating but because of his workaholic habits and the fact that he has no romantic bone in his body im kinda turned off i like him but i feel he is not the one for me should i go with my gut feeling ...
A. 8 June 2008: Yes follow your gut on this. Some people have the habit of workaholic and they never stop. Some people are not capable of being romantic.
Both of these thing would make for a very lonely relationship for you.
Best wishes
xo... (read in full...)
How long to wait for him to change?
Q. HI, I am a 20 year old in love with a 26 year old guy. We have been together since the last 2 years. From the beginning it has been like our relationship started by him telling me that dont expect any commitments of marriage. This is my first...
A. 8 June 2008: It seems like he is the one who is not good enough for you. He is mean and lazy. If you write down the qualities of the perfect partner I bet mean and lazy aren't on your list.
As for him changing, people don't change so it is pretty much wha... (read in full...)
My 15 year old daughter is pregnant, any advice on how I proceed?
Q. well at the mo i should be called sad mommie..my daughter has come home tonite and told me she is pregnant..she is only 15..said she wants to go ahead with the pregnancy..im so confused..i cant think straight..told her we will talk tomorrow as she ...
A. 8 June 2008: No offense but you said, Even in the animal kingdom , they don't do that."
I said it does occur and gave some examples.
That was the point that it does happen in nature. You didn't disprove that.
No offense. Apologies to the OP... (read in full...)
Separated wife dated and I can't deal with it! Help!!
Q. why cant i get over my wife dating someone when we were seperated? weve been married for 13 years, i had some withdraw problems 2 years ago when my mom died then we grew apart and she accused me of having an affair. after months of fighting my wife ...
A. 8 June 2008: Yes you can deal with it. Will being upset over it change anything?
Be happy she came back and work on loving her.
Best wishes... (read in full...)
I had sex with my best friend's boyfriend and now I'm pregnant.
Q. i need help and quick. im 13 and about three months ago i had sex with my best friend's boyfriend. i regret it, because im pregnant. i dont know how to tell people. let alone my best friend. please help....
A. 8 June 2008: Honey, don't worry about the boy or your friend right now. Go tell your mum right now.
You need to get to a doctor and get tested for STDs and also to make sure you are ok.
To the person who is against abortion:
An abortion may be the ... (read in full...)
My 15 year old daughter is pregnant, any advice on how I proceed?
Q. well at the mo i should be called sad mommie..my daughter has come home tonite and told me she is pregnant..she is only 15..said she wants to go ahead with the pregnancy..im so confused..i cant think straight..told her we will talk tomorrow as she ...
A. 7 June 2008: Actually the animal kingdom does do this and often.
Herding animals will kick and kill their own young to protect the herd during attack or kill often crippled or injured.
Mice, hamsters, etc actually will eat their own young.
Fish e... (read in full...)
My 15 year old daughter is pregnant, any advice on how I proceed?
Q. well at the mo i should be called sad mommie..my daughter has come home tonite and told me she is pregnant..she is only 15..said she wants to go ahead with the pregnancy..im so confused..i cant think straight..told her we will talk tomorrow as she ...
A. 6 June 2008: I will go with the have the abortion camp. You are the mother of a minor and if she has the baby, you will be the one taking care of it.
At 15, people aren't allowed to make legal decisions, drive, go to war, get married, etc. and why...? because ... (read in full...)
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