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... Send martini a private message | | | martini's profile:I came here in January 2006 seeking for some opinion/advice on a screwed up relationship I had back then. Regardless, that relationship ended anyway. I spent a good deal of time here for roughly a year, and have gained some new perspectives.
Aside from that, huge cheers for Andrew for making DearCupid.org. 8]www: www.leemanism.com |
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Can you be gay and yet fancy someone of the opposite sex??
Q. Can you actually be gay (and when i say gay i'm not including bi-sexual) and yet fancy or love someone of the opposite sex?...
A. 11 November 2007: Remember, terms like "heterosexuality", "homosexuality", and "bisexuality" are just words to give distinction in society on what you prefer, but ultimately, without those words, you are still what you are, and what you prefer sexually, even if it's ... (read in full...)
I need my mom to cut my hair she will not cut it
Q. my mother will not let me cut my hair i have aked her over 10 times and she will not listen i think i will explode if my mother does not let me cut my hair it is making me misrable i will i really need it cut!...
A. 11 November 2007: Yes, this is totally NOT a problem. If you need your hair cut, break into your piggy bank and take some money for the salon. ... (read in full...)
Worries about masterbation.
Q. I masturbated in the shower, i took care to only cum in the corner directly into the drainhole. No visible cum got onto my fingers and i rinsed them lots afterwards. I even rinsed the bar soap (which i did not use to masturbate) about 3 times and ...
A. 11 November 2007: No not necessarily Ms Anon below me. Sperm can live outside the body up to a certain amount of time. Say it got on your fingers and you fingered yourself, it is possible you can get yourself pregnant that way. However this IS in the shower and it ... (read in full...)
Is my brother correct?
Q. hi, my brother just told me that mixing fruit with pepsi or coke makes a drug and stays in your system for 70 hours and gives you illusions, the thing is i accidently did that and drank it i was wondering if its true, please help me. He also said he ...
A. 10 November 2007: Hahaha, yeah like I said in my reply to your email, if mixing fruit and coke or pepsi does that, then restaurants in Canada would stop serving coke and pepsi along with fruit altogether!... (read in full...)
I have an inconvenient penis. What can I do?
Q. I'm 27 years old man. I have made sex since last year. Eventhough my penis size is not much smaller, my girl friends comment as it is too too small, and I am always embarrassed by this case. Does her hole is exteremely wide or is that my problem? ...
A. 10 November 2007: How small is your penis? And before anyone says size doesn't matter, SIZE DOES MATTER if you're two inches long at full erection!
Mind you, there is nothing to correct here. It's a size that you were 'born' with. It just means she is most lik... (read in full...)
Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female words?
Q. So I was playing Halo with a couple of girl friends the other day,and than her boyfriend and some friends showed up,and there was this one guy that I just wanted to punch in the face. Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female w...
A. 10 November 2007: Actually, when I play games, I rarely refer a moment by a 'female' term. Usually "bastard" or "bastard whore" - my favorite, or "mother of all that is lun".
Mind you, I call my male friends bitches if they do something silly to me, or I call m... (read in full...)
How do I get true love?
Q. thank you. dear Andrew. i am betty from ethiopia. i am 19 years single pretty girl.now i need true love.i need help....
A. 10 November 2007: This is such a broad topic. However, I would like question that - why do you NEED true love, and what do you think 'true' love is anyway?... (read in full...)
Tips on giving a hickey
Q. How do you give a hicky? Any tips? I'm in a new relationship and I really like him. I think that the time for this might come up. When he is giveing me one...can I do anything? Thanks so much....
A. 9 November 2007: As per RomanceClass.com, of the 62000 Google search matches that I found, to give a hickey supposedly, you can do the following:
"What you do is put your mouth against the side of their neck, in a kissing shape. You leave your mouth slightly... (read in full...)
Do long distance relationships work?
Q. Long distance relationships - Do they work? I've met a guy through work who I really like. Only problem is that I haven't met him - he lives about 5 hours away from me. We talk everyday (Monday - Friday) and text each other most evenings. He sa...
A. 9 November 2007: Long distance relationships can work, but through a lot of effort and a LOT of mental restraint to keep your physical needs at bay.
Think, you are missing these vital things: touching, caressing, kissing, hugging, cuddling - all the stuff th... (read in full...)
I didn't go see him to teach him a lesson.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and I travel very often to see him. But, this month our schedule were very difficult and he only has one day off. Nevertheless, I was able to arrange my schedule to be with him that one day; ...
A. 9 November 2007: "What to do?"
You continue to satisfy your own craving, until you come to realize that the man you love and think about constantly is not the right man for you. [wink]
It's like those people who keeps breaking up and going back to their lo... (read in full...)
He refuses to tell people about us.
Q. I'm sleeping with a guy from college who i meet though mates, but he refuses to tell people about us. He took my virginty and he always treat me right, he just won't tell people about us. But the wierd thing is when we get on the bus to go home, he ...
A. 9 November 2007: ON TOP of what I said, I noticed your opening line is "I'm sleeping with a guy from college who i meet though mates" - well he might also see this as a fling. "Sleeping with a guy from college" and NOT "Dating a guy from college". It's quite ... (read in full...)
He refuses to tell people about us.
Q. I'm sleeping with a guy from college who i meet though mates, but he refuses to tell people about us. He took my virginty and he always treat me right, he just won't tell people about us. But the wierd thing is when we get on the bus to go home, he ...
A. 9 November 2007: Why don't you give it time?
There are many good and possibly bad reasons why he's not telling any of his friends and family. Plus remember, you gave him your virginity. He didn't force you. So with that said, why don't you just give your rel... (read in full...)
I love him but find it hard to accept this.
Q. My boyfriend has got money and not willing to take the money out and help me when I really need it. I just feel that is not love. My elderly mum is in hospital in Hong Kong and I don't have enough money to get a ticket to visit her. This upset me ...
A. 9 November 2007: He has what money? Are you saying he is loaded, or are you saying he has something in his bank, but not sure how much?
Yes, it's understandable to feel that it seems like he doesn't love you (enough) to give you the money you need to travel b... (read in full...)
I don't tell friends my secrets.
Q. i no this is an odd question but im a private person and hardly tell my friends any of my secrets or problems is this a bad thing??? ...
A. 8 November 2007: No, no it isn't. Why would you think this is bad? If you think this is bad, because you're keeping things from them, well ask yourself this: By not telling them, are you harming them? By telling them, are you benefitting them?
The thing is... (read in full...)
Worried about pubic hair and a guy's reaction to it. Options to shave?
Q. I am 16, I was wondering if guys expect you to have no pubic hair?? If they do what are good ways to do this? I have tried to shave but my hair is too thick and it does not work. I do not want to go to a salon or wax it myself? any other option...
A. 8 November 2007: At 16, I wouldn't expect anything, let alone seeing a girl naked and willing. Then again, I don't think high school back in the day can quite compare to high school nowadays. [ponders thoughtfully]
Seriously though, I wouldn't suggest you shav... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date a younger guy?
Q. I like this guy for long time. We have been friends for almost 4 years and i seem to have not lost interest in him. I have tried so hard to stop liking him because he is a year younger than me but it's really hard. I even dated other guys to try ...
A. 8 November 2007: "It's completely and utterly wrong. Completely. Totally."
Well, that's what a lot of people will tell you. Mind you, people often 'mistake' "dating" with "sex".
With that out of the way, no, why would you think it is wrong to date someone ... (read in full...)
Is it true most girls prefer taller men?
Q. Hi there I'm very worried about my height being a bloke, 18 and only bout 4ft 10 to 5ft tall n Im probably not going to worry. Is it really true that most girls prefer taller men and if so why would u reckon so? I personally find it harsh not just...
A. 8 November 2007: Since everyone else is giving a lot of sugar coated answers and hopeful opinions, I'll be the devil's advocate and say that unfortunately, a lot of females that I've met and have engaged in conversation with do prefer taller men over shorter men. I ... (read in full...)
I think I am addicted to sex... Do you?
Q. I`m i addicted to sex well i think i am but i`ll like to know for sure. Since i was a little girl i was always strange to other girls, at the age of 3-4 years i had always know my self to touch myself in a sexual way not remembering any sought o...
A. 6 November 2007: Possibly, but sex addiction isn't really that bad if you don't harm yourself or compromise your safety in your sexual pursuits.
You're definitely not alone in this. There are lots of people with super high sex drives. I started masturba... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being a virgin, is it really this hard to lose it?
Q. hi! well I would just like to get advice on sex, am a 19 year old virgin and I just dont get how can it be this hard? Ive avoided doing it before cause I think its too complicated and maybe Ill feel sad afterwards or Ill regret it.. what do you ...
A. 5 November 2007: I don't quite get it. What is the thing about being virgin that you're exactly sick of? Or is it the result of being a virgin that you're sick of, or maybe it doesn't even have anything to do with your virginity and more so to do with your ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to this older guy?
Q. Heya.For about a year now ive been seeing this guy and we get on really well and both really like each other. The only problem is he's 28 and im only 16. The age dosen't matter to me that much its just a few of my friends know and are really teasing ...
A. 5 November 2007: However, regardless of whoever said stuff, I suggest you look up Canada's age of consent on the web to get a better idea on how the laws for sexual consent work.
Here's a site with a table of consent:
http://www.av... (read in full...)
My ex has demanded I give him the 300 £ he gave me when we were still together
Q. Hello I have just split up with my boyfriend of 3 months, during this time he gave me £300.00 to repair my car and told me that he did not want the money back after i offered to repay him when he gave me the money, i have just had a letter deliver...
A. 5 November 2007: Yes as Ms. Waterloo had suggested, I also think it would be good to repay him back regardless of what he's trying to do and how he feels. If you repay him the money, they you have no further connections with him.
Cut it clean.... (read in full...)
I'm embarrased because I have small breasts
Q. I'm embarrased because i have small breasts and get called names for them. Im like an A cup and im 14. 15 in feb. Im wondering if sleeping with a bra stops their growth because i always sleep with one on. I need help...
A. 5 November 2007: Remember, there are always people out there who will make fun of you for something. Even if you have DD36 breasts bulging out from your sleeves, there will be people out there to point and make fun of.
Heck, during high school, I was made fun... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend has a foot fetish.
Q. I have a friend who has a question, Her boyfriend has a foot fetish. Basically he likes her to stand on toy cars and things like that in chunky heeled boots and high heels. She says he's a really nice bloke but she doesn't know what to do? As ...
A. 5 November 2007: I'm not a female obviously, but I don't understand the post. Basically, what is the problem?
So he has a foot fetish, and......................?
Well, I have a 'cat' fetish, sooo..............?
It's raining outside, and............... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to this older guy?
Q. Heya.For about a year now ive been seeing this guy and we get on really well and both really like each other. The only problem is he's 28 and im only 16. The age dosen't matter to me that much its just a few of my friends know and are really teasing ...
A. 5 November 2007: The minimum age of consent in Canada is 16.
To look at this guy more objectively coinciding with your age, it is possible that his range of attraction to women may fall out of the more common ideal for guys that age. Let's look at this from ano... (read in full...)
Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation.
Q. Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation. How do i stop this?...
A. 5 November 2007: You sure it wasn't pre-cum?
Taken from wiki.answers.com:
Pre-cum is pre-ejaculate (also known as pre-ejaculatory fluid or Cowper's fluid) is the clear lubricating fluid that is issued from a man's penis when he is aroused. Slang terms for ... (read in full...)
I discovered my dad is having sexual online relationships with over 20 different men. What do I do?
Q. I am 19 and no longer live at home. One day i went to my parents house to visit but they were not there. So i thought i would check my email while i waited. When i went onto yahoo mail, my dad had not signed out of his account and something just ...
A. 3 November 2007: I think you should not tell your mom, and instead you should confront your dad directly. As much as he is your dad, the problem is really between him and his wife. He is cheating on his wife for reasons you probably do not know about. Even if ... (read in full...)
How do I get a vibrator
Q. ive just turned 14. ive been masturbating for about a year and havent found my g-spot. i use the handle of a hairbrush, my fingers so massage my clit and the shower head. its fun and enjoyable but thats all. i cant seem to find my own way of doing ...
A. 3 November 2007: Try asking a friend or a close relative - eg: older cousin or a favorite aunt to help you. At your age, unless you have a credit card/paypal, you won't be able to order one from the net, and you won't be able to walk into a sex shop either.
... (read in full...)
Why do men look at other women?
Q. Why do married men--or any man for that matter--stare at other women when they want to be with you and they love you and all that stuff? Men are so confusing sometimes I'm surprised I have nerves left....
A. 2 November 2007: Wow this thread is old. Alas, I can't help but rebuttal 60% of the posts here about men being pigs. If men that look are pigs, then women that look are....?
No, that last sentence/question actually doesn't mean anything. Always wondered... (read in full...)
How can I get over this period, or ignor it?
Q. I felt really quite proud. I had got the courage to ask out a girl i fancied. I got rejected (she already had a bf) but i don't really mind. At least i had tried and i can be happy that i had the courage (i am actually quite shy so big achievement). ...
A. 2 November 2007: Well, with sugar-coated illusions aside [wink], what you did was grand. I totally know how you feel though. Nothing to do with rejection mind you, but the same altogether. Especially when you see those same people every weekday at school. Sucks ... (read in full...)
He dumped me 3 times in 5 weeks and now wants back again. Do I give him one more chance?
Q. ive been seeing this guy for 2 weeks then we finally ended up getting together he then asked if we could have a baby together so we agreed and decided he would move in with me. after a month i keep getting people saying his past to me and so i ...
A. 2 November 2007: I think you should continue to give him chances until you finally have had enough and learn to stop going back to this guy. This way may be something that others would not have suggested you to do, but this way will allow you to keep getting ... (read in full...)
Will sucking her breasts increase the size?
Q. Does male sucking females breasts enlarge her breasts or its doesnt affect size of her breasts??...
A. 2 November 2007: Well my girlfriends noticed that having a lot of sex has slightly made their breasts larger, but this is most likely due to constant daily sexual stimulation that makes her breasts and nipples erect. It could be mostly psychological, and partially ... (read in full...)
My husband wakes me up every night at 2am... touching me! Why?
Q. This is sort of an odd thing, but here goes. Every night almost, I am waken up by my husband rubbing my citoris with his fingers. This usually happens at around 2-3 a.m. We have a 6 month old baby and I am 5 months pregnant. Well, he only gets ...
A. 2 November 2007: Yeah I think that's pretty 'normal'. My partner told me before that when she woke up in the morning, she would almost always find my hand on one of her breasts, or sometimes she'll wake up in the middle of the night to find me squeezing her ass. ... (read in full...)
This one is for the guys.
Q. Hey whats up. This one is for the guys. Its partly for my own info. OK any guy who has been asked out by a girl, I would really appreciate your response. This is a two-parter so here we go. 1.Do you like being asked out by girls, is it a turn-on ...
A. 1 November 2007: 1) No preference really. This depends on the person I'm attracted to, and the ambience/mood.
2) Two actually. The first would be to the point - eg: "I like you. Free this Friday night?" The second would be with innuendo. Mind you I can't qu... (read in full...)
My ex is fighting over our past. What can I do to deal with it?
Q. My ex is fighting over our past. What can I do to deal with it?...
A. 1 November 2007: Stay away from your ex. Why are you two still fighting over things when you too are separated? Is it pride? Is it ego that you two find pleasure in doing?
Yes, you may probably still have feelings for each other, since you two are still ta... (read in full...)
Can I overdose on nutmeg?
Q. Ok, so I was just playing around on my computer and i typed in fun ways to get high.I have never heard of getting high off of nutmeg before, but it showed up and i started to read about it. It sounded kinda fun, so I went and looked in my parents ...
A. 30 October 2007: A simple Google search for "Nutmeg overdose" yields 18400 site results. However, you should take a look through this web site:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2603/is_0000/ai_2603000094
In the meantime, here's an excerpt:
Nutm... (read in full...)
Help!, how can I tell if I'm a Lesbian?
Q. Okay, well here's the thing...I am having trouble with the fact that I don't know whether I am lesbian or not. I don't know how to put this all in words but, it seems that everytime I see a girl you would consider hot I automatically start thinking ...
A. 29 October 2007: Give it time. You don't have to give yourself a label. If you end up being whatever you become, you are still you. ... (read in full...)
Umm ... was it sex?
Q. my boyfriends and i were fooling around the other night. it started as just humping, i had no underwear on, but he had boxers on. Then he took them off. we did the same humping motion, and his penis touched my vagina, an went in, but i dont know if ...
A. 28 October 2007: Sex to me includes but is not limited to penetration. Hence "sexual penetration". It can't be penetration, if it's not sexual eh? [shrugs] Other forms of sex are [drum roll] oral sex - hence "oral SEX", anal SEX, and of course, foreplay isn't ... (read in full...)
Divorcing is a disgrace to my religeon... But I feel trapped. Help me!
Q. In my religion, it's a disgrace to divorce, and very rare. And the thing is, I've had a husband since I was 13 and now, I'm 19. I feel trapped, I see myself just doing everything for him, with him forcing me to do things, to have sex with him, get a ...
A. 28 October 2007: Look, I'm sure others will give you their own interpretations of what religion is about, etc, but I can tell you now that if you follow a religion with an absolute deity, and a religion that has scriptures that say do this and not do that, then in ... (read in full...)
Divorcing is a disgrace to my religeon... But I feel trapped. Help me!
Q. In my religion, it's a disgrace to divorce, and very rare. And the thing is, I've had a husband since I was 13 and now, I'm 19. I feel trapped, I see myself just doing everything for him, with him forcing me to do things, to have sex with him, get a ...
A. 26 October 2007: Religion, wonderful isn't it?
Well there lies the obvious problem then. First, think, why do you follow your religion? If your religion conflicts with your personal welfare and happiness, then you have a choice: A) continue to be unhappy,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a trouble past, my friends think he's no good, how can I convince them they're wrong?
Q. My boyfriend is so good to me, He shows he cares, and loves me so much. I met him online and we have been together for 7 months now. My love life is great, not to mention the sex! I have never in my life met anyone as wonderful as him. And he tells ...
A. 26 October 2007: I think you can't *make* your friends approve of him. I think you should really just continue as it is. If your relationship is strong, over time, his efforts will show through you, and when that time comes, your friends will probably start to ... (read in full...)
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