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... Send *anya a private message | | | *anya's profile:I live in the US, and friends always call me for advice! So I thought I could (hopefully)
help out a few people here on DearCupid. The only person I can't seem to advise is
myself. Although, after being a part of DearCupid for a few years, I feel I've gained some valuable insights on life & love.
One thing for sure, I am ALWAYS a believer that Love Conquers All!!!!!!!
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How do I tactfully raise her perfume use with her... and what do you recommend?
Q. Two questions really. How do I tactfully tell my girlfriend that I really don't like the perfume she likes (it smells kinda strong and bitter)? She got some new stuff over Xmas that I adored and kept telling her how nice she smelt but she d...
A. 8 February 2007: She probably likes & feels most comfortable with her usual perfume. Maybe she's even saving the Christmas one! Definitely get her some nice perfume for Valentine's Day,
and maxsteel86 has good advice on that. Some men would come right out and say ... (read in full...)
Torn apart by jealously and rejection!
Q. My boyfriend dumped me because of my jealousy and also because i believe that he misses that excitment you have at the start of a new relationship thats why i now know why he has had a lot of girlfriends. How can he buy me flowers and a teddy on...
A. 8 February 2007: Sounds to me like your boyfriend may be immature.He is just not ready for any kind of serious relationship, likes you but wants to see what's out there. It's awful for you because you seem like you love him with your whole heart.
I would say, don'... (read in full...)
I'm scared if i forget her we will never be together again!!
Q. My Girlfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me and said she wants to be single but she also belives that one day we will be together again. i know the only way i will be ok is if i forget her completely, but i feel like if i do i will never be able to ...
A. 8 February 2007: chrispy, you have my total sympathy! How long have you been broken up? Maybe a little while of being single, she'll come to miss you, because you sound like a real nice guy who is slow to move on because you know when you do, you really do, which ... (read in full...)
My husband took everything we had - trust, love, and ruined it by sleeping with a Thai bar girl...
Q. I had a very happy marriage until about three months ago. My husband went on a business trip to Thailand and visited a go-go bar where he had protected sex with a bar girl. He got back and confessed the very same night but said he only had oral sex ...
A. 8 February 2007: First I wonder how long you and your husband have been married. What he did was terrible, terrible, but if he never did it before and will never, ever do it again, then
perhaps you should consider giving him one more chance? You say that you've forg... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him if he doesnt get me anything for Valentines??
Q. My bf havent gave me a gift on holiday but i did give him a belt as my present for him, are guys like that? My bf just dont want to give me anything.i knew he had money to buy one,but does it shows the he dont love me or dont want me to be happy? ...
A. 5 February 2007: I agree with both answers given so far, opposing as they seem! I know someone who gave up on a relationship precisely because of Valentine neglect, although it was worse: no card , gift or dinner invitation AND no phone call -- finally the obvious ... (read in full...)
What perfume turns a guy on?
Q. What perfume turns a man on? I love cotton candy would guys like that? I have a new date and don't know what perfume guys really like. I heard it's better to go w/out, something about pheromones or something. Any ideas guys? ...
A. 30 January 2007: Victoria's Secret Angel perfume or lotion.... (read in full...)
Do you think that you should accuse somebody if you have no proof of cheating?
Q. Do you think that you should accuse somebody if you have no proof of cheating? But what if they have a history of cheating? Do you think people can change and not cheat anymore or is it once a cheater always a cheater? I been with my boyfriend for ...
A. 30 January 2007: I think that if you are super-stressed about imagining that he is cheating, that
you should just ask him. Especially since he had the problem in the past. It's
no fun to accuse someone, and you've already been through so much already that you must... (read in full...)
Bf broke up with me but says he loves me, then we got back together now but I feel that he just want companionship without commitment. Should I just forget about him?
Q. Hi, please help. I'm very depressed right now cuz my boyfriend just broke up with me. He said that now that he's going back to school he needs to do good and that being in a relationship will just make his grades go down. I asked him why he didn't ...
A. 17 January 2007: It kinda sounds like a confusing situation -- he still wants you in the picture, tries to be physical, but doesn't want commitment. You still seem to care for him a lot, but want commitment meanwhile telling him that you always had two boyfriends ... (read in full...)
My ex says he still cares for me and would date me, but says I could do better and doesn't want me to get hurt.
Q. When a guy tells you that he thinks i can do better then him and that he thinks he's not the one for me? I think my ex has really low esteem. When him and i were dating i always made it known to him that i thought he was the most sexist man in th...
A. 11 January 2007: When they say you could do better, it usually means they think the relationship's not quite right, and want to spare your feelings. I personally hate when guys
say that, and one did to me a long time ago. I still don't know if he was better than... (read in full...)
My bf still visits his old in-laws! I'm not happy about it. Should I tell him to stop?
Q. I have been with my b.f for 3 1/2 years. He was previously married for 20years and he still visits his ex in laws etc. Im not to happy about this should i tell him to stop seeing them or should i have to put up with it as he has known them for such ...
A. 10 January 2007: I think you should put up with it if he only sees them once in a long while, and
if it doesn't interfere with the quality of your relationship.
I think it actually speaks well of him that he remembers these people he's known for twenty years. ... (read in full...)
What is the point to relationships if they always end in tragedy?
Q. I'm 20 and might be starting to date women. You'll probably notice the "might be". The reason why is that I would like to have a relationship with a women, yet everywhere I look it just ends in catastrophe. People getting divorces, people having ...
A. 10 January 2007: Love is always worth it; you sound very sensitive and i think a woman you date will be overjoyed to have such a thoughtful boyfriend! in my experience,
some people are in and out of relationships very fast (like the media personalities), whil... (read in full...)
My long-distance fiance is in Amsterdam and hung up when he heard my voice! What's going on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and we met in England. But my visa ran out so i had to come back home, he said he would come with me once he got his visa. Just before i left he proposed to me. It's been a month and a half since ...
A. 10 January 2007: I hope all these wonderful answers from folks will ease your nerves! In my experience, cell phones are always having technical problems, and country to country, it could be anything! Pamper yourself, and visit a good friend, and start looking for ... (read in full...)
My holiday hasn't even started and I'm in tears from missing my bf. Is it normal to feel this way?
Q. Hey guys, i'm going on holiday at half past 5 tomorrow morning to America (currently in England) i'll be there for two weeks and it has only been 3 days since I said goodbye to my boyfriend but I already miss him so much that I end up in tears ...
A. 8 January 2007: This is not quite out of the blue -- BUT, is there anyway he could come along?
Or, could you shorten your stay? Everyone is boosting you up, which is great, but these pre-scheduled "vacations" can be awful. I know this from personal expe... (read in full...)
He plans to visit strip clubs when we are on holiday in Amsterdam. I am offended by this-what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid I am a 54 year old woman and have been married for over thirty years. Later in the year l am going for a short break to Amsterdam with my husband and another couple. I was really looking forward to my trip as l have been there many ...
A. 6 January 2007: I agree with Irish49! I've never been to Amsterdam, but it is supposed to
be a very liberated & free place. So your husband & your friend's husband
are probably reacting to the Amsterdam image? I'm sure it's just curiosity, though I know my fathe... (read in full...)
When my fiance and I tried our relationship again, she acted distant and cold, so we've split again. Can love really turn to hate?
Q. I recently split with my fiancee as she was unfaithful. After making the decision to take her back, she changed her ways completely for the worse. She acts totally unbelievable and uncaring. She would tell me she was in love with me more than ever, ...
A. 2 January 2007: David,
Thank you for the update! Am so glad to hear that things are looking up for you again. You are so giving and perceptive and funny, too, on the website here, that I can't imagine you being alone... best of luck with your new developm... (read in full...)
It's just argument after argument - is he trying to break up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into an argument and he has been turning the tables on me acting like I am the one at fault. Yesterday he sent me a text saying We never talk anymore. and I responded by saying that everytime we talk he makes it short by ...
A. 14 December 2006: I agree with Lyloo on this "turning tables" thing being typically masculine
behavior. Have definitely been there. It doesn't sound to me like he's trying
to break up with you! if you are texting back and forth so furiously, sounds
like you ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my ex?
Q. Dear cupid, My situation seems to be about the same break up the same downer. I am at the moment VERY confused! my ex gives me mixed messages he acts like he loves me and when a situation arises so where he could share his feelings he tend...
A. 14 December 2006: It worries me that he says he doesn't love you. But you said you've been feeling
happy and secure the last few days. It sounds like your relationship has
some kind of weird stability, even in break-up -- which I could'nt figure out
your exac... (read in full...)
When my fiance and I tried our relationship again, she acted distant and cold, so we've split again. Can love really turn to hate?
Q. I recently split with my fiancee as she was unfaithful. After making the decision to take her back, she changed her ways completely for the worse. She acts totally unbelievable and uncaring. She would tell me she was in love with me more than ever, ...
A. 12 December 2006: David, I felt so sad when I read all the Q. and A.s about your situation. They say there's a thin line between love and hate, and sometimes people say that they hate someone when they love them very much but are very disappointed. What is the... (read in full...)
Why would I tell this peson, I didn't love them ...when I really do!
Q. Have you ever told someone who you really loved and said that you didnt love them but you do but you told them that you didnt even tho you do? If you do love the person but you tell them that you dont to there face but you didnt mean it (and i d...
A. 12 December 2006: What's it called, a tautology? I think that maybe you are trying inadvertently
to test your person. Maybe you are afraid of being hurt -- that if you say you love them,
they won't say "I love you" back.So you say you don't love them even though y... (read in full...)
I like this girl from church but don't have a clue what to say to her! Any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've met someone I really like through church and I think she likes me, but I'm not entirely sure; I'm quite inexperienced. Anyway, I've known this girl for a few weeks now and I think I need to act soon if I don't want to get labelled...
A. 10 December 2006: Talk to her tonight. Maybe ask her for
advice or a gift "problem' you have, like for your sister or something.
Just get to know her a little better. She may be as shy as you seem!
Once you get talking, you could ask her if she'd like company on t... (read in full...)
How do I know if my husband wnats to be with me for a lifetime?
Q. How do I know if a man (my husband) loves me to such an extent that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? ...
A. 10 December 2006: If he married you, theoretically he will love and cherish you for the
rest of both of your lives, and even after that...
It is hard to go on so little information. I've never been married, but
my friends whose marriages work have their ups a... (read in full...)
He says he's too tired and lazy to kiss me? what is going on??
Q. he says he's too tired and lazy to kiss me? what is going on??...
A. 10 December 2006: To really answer this question, you need to give more information.
It could be that he really is what he says, tired and "lazy" or preoccupied.
What is his personality like? When he says "lazy" is he just being
funny?
Don't push the issue, Maybe... (read in full...)
How can you make a guy want you more and be the one to want and ask for it to be official???
Q. What can a woman do to make a guy want her more. I have been seeing a guy (we are not yet official) but I want to keep him interested and would like us to be official, however I would like him to be the one to tell me he wants it to be official. ...
A. 24 October 2006: Having read Yos's reply, I wonder if this website has talked about "The
Rules"?? before. I've never figured out what I think of them. You are
supposed to make him initiate. I think it does work, like a cake recipe
works, though I've never h... (read in full...)
I'm going to a gig and he will be there how do I make a good first impression?
Q. I Was about to get with this guy but it all went wrong. Anyway before i met this guy i had been talking to another guy online and we have loads in common. He stopped talking to me for a few weeks so i figured he wasnt interested but now he's ...
A. 20 October 2006: Been thinking about this. Since you don't really know him, I would go with
attractive but understated. This may sound overly cutious, but think of a
plan just in case he gives you a weird vibe when you meet him in person.
Maybe have a friend to ca... (read in full...)
Whats the definition of a "break" ?
Q. What exactly is the definition of a "break" What can and cant you do while in one? Thanks =)...
A. 17 October 2006: From what I've gathered "breaks" fall in two major categories --
one is what I think of as the best kind of break, where the guy
is just overwhelmed - with job, family, stress, YOU, etc., and wants
some space to think things through. Slow the pac... (read in full...)
He cheated...what next?
Q. i've recently found out that my boyfriend of 4 years was cheating on me,he appologised though and wants me back in his life. we;ve been trying to work aorund it but now i feel like im forcing things because sometimes he seems like hes not interested ...
A. 13 October 2006: I think that Lostandalone has put his finger on something
crucial - the time factor. I would say, slow down & take
a deep breath & really & truly be yourself.... do all the
things that make YOU happy & put HIM on the "back burner".
Sometimes one... (read in full...)
My girl cheated, I really love her! Was it really a genuine mistake ?
Q. My girlfriend has cheated on me and I dont know what to do coz I luv her and I cant let go despite what she has done. She says she luvs me and she does not want this to end thats whats confusing me. my question, can one cheat on someone you really ...
A. 13 October 2006: VERY difficult question. I was raised around families where no one ever cheated, except a few people everyone
knew were unstable. But this is 2006 & complex, but still no excuse! But I know lovers who were forgiven & seems like you want to forg... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to get married again, I've been there twice. What do you think?
Q. I am 48 years old, divorced twice, single since 1990. I have been dating a man for 13 years now, I fell deeply in love with this man from early in the relationship. He is divorced after a 28 year marriage. He and I get along great together and talk ...
A. 11 October 2006: I think he will love to help you with the three children. You sound
so happy! I can see why you hesistate after your previous marriages,
and you didn't go into them. But from the tone of your letter,
my instinct is to say, LUCKY YOU! MARRY ... (read in full...)
What is True Love
Q. My question is short but complex...What is True Love? How do you know you've found it? ...
A. 11 October 2006: "The course of true love ne'er ran smooth," as Shakespeare said, and
he is spoke the truth... True love may be fleeting, ravaged by events
and even other jealous people. I think that true love in romantic terms has
a strong sexual component bu... (read in full...)
I am 13 and in love with a 43 year old.
Q. i am 13 i am in love with a 43 year old we are getting on well we have been in a relationship for ten months i have asked him too always be honest with me and he is. to day he told me that he is in love with a woman 50000 miles away but he says ...
A. 11 October 2006: Dear Ebocanhelp,
All your Agony Aunts are agonizing over whether or not you are safe. Please
let us know how you are!
... (read in full...)
He looks at other girls, am I being to demanding of my own insecurities!?
Q. I have been dating my partner for two years now. It began as a friendship and after quite sometime developed into a love relationship. This was intentional on my part as I wanted to be sure before committing myself totally. I am deeply in love with ...
A. 9 October 2006: Well, I know the feeling and it's happened to me. You're with your guy feeling proud and happy, and then he's smiling at someone else. It's !@##$$%%%!!!!!! Well, at least he's not asking for their phone number! (Not that that will cheer you ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and in love with a 43 year old.
Q. i am 13 i am in love with a 43 year old we are getting on well we have been in a relationship for ten months i have asked him too always be honest with me and he is. to day he told me that he is in love with a woman 50000 miles away but he says ...
A. 9 October 2006: Get away as quickly as you can! You are very vulnerable and you need
protection! Talk to your school guidance counselor or someone you
trust, perhaps a teacher or older friend. It's good he has another
interest so he'll be better able to deal... (read in full...)
I feel like im in limbo, will he leave his current gf to get back with me ??
Q. i was seeing my first boyfriend for five years and i broke it off.i went out with someone else for five years and recently broke it off. in all this time we kept in touch with my ex and he never really went out with anyone. after i became single, ...
A. 9 October 2006: At this point, limbo is probably a good (although exasperating) place to be!
I count 10 years since you first went out with this guy. He must be
very important to you, to have kept in touch. BUT, are you sure you're not just re-roman... (read in full...)
How can I get this guy to ask me out?
Q. Okay. I really like this one guy, and I want him to ask me out more than anything! But he's either shy or uninterested, or not noticing, or something. Because I can see something when I look in his eyes (cheesy, I know) and there's definitely ...
A. 8 October 2006: I go with Baby Girl's answer. How often do you see this guy? I've
always been shy and I think I've missed my chance some times.
Don't miss yours! Start a conversation, about the weather, SAY ANYTHING!
Life's an adventure!... (read in full...)
My casual guy always makes nasty comments. Why is he acting like this?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 5 months on a casual basis,we get really great and the sexual relationship is really good.but he is always saying when we go to places,i bet you bring all the blokes here.and am i seeing some else,and acting like it ...
A. 7 October 2006: What do you mean by "casual basis"? What is the understanding between
you? I think he acts nasty to create distance between you, for one reason
or another. I don't fully understand what's the situation?
Maybe he thinks you OUGHT to be seeing so... (read in full...)
Is it true that all men want is sex?
Q. hi im 14, is it true that all men want is sex? is it true that they dont care about your personality, they only care about looks and sex? thats all they want from girls? ...
A. 7 October 2006: No, that's not true. You are very young, and sometimes
the media makes one think this is true. But if you have
ever been in love, you will know that love is much,
much, MUCH more than sex, and beauty is in the eye
of the beholder.... (read in full...)
Will our rough patch pass with time?
Q. I think my 4 month relationship has grown stale. There's still the good bits that we had before when all i can think about is how much i love him and how i want to spent the rest of my life with him, but a lot of the time when i'm with him or ...
A. 7 October 2006: If your man is unemployed and about to be homeless, then housing
and money may be uppermost in his mind! That is an EXTREMELY
frightening prospect, and you really can't expect him to feel at his
most romantic at this time! But you seem loyal a... (read in full...)
I am 21, but my 54 year old partner can't have sex with me. Is there anything that can help?
Q. hi i am 21 i have been with my partner 1 and a half years now the only trouble is he is a lot older than me he is 54 i lost his wife before we got together. my problem is he cant have sex with me is there anything that could possibly help....
A. 7 October 2006: I agree with previous answers. Is the problem physiological or
psychological? (or both, to think holistically) It must be embarrassing for him, but it
could get better -- I would advise he consult a physician.
But be low-key, because if you pay t... (read in full...)
Am I ugly?
Q. No boys want to snog me because someone asked them and they said no, and then said ewwww. They will snog my best mate but not me. :( Am I ugly?...
A. 7 October 2006: Who were these boys? I bet THEY were plenty ugly.
Don't even think twice about them.
You seem very sensitive,
and beautiful, too!
... (read in full...)
I broke up with my untrusting boyfriend, but I am addicted to him. How can I stay firm with my decision to finish?
Q. I have decided to break up with my boyfriend. i can no longer stand his constant distrust. he gets angry at me for missed phone calls even though i call him right back. he questions male voices in the background even though it's my dad he's hearing. ...
A. 6 October 2006: You've decided to break up, but you are addicted to him.
HMMM. How had he responded when you told him how
uncomfortable it makes you feel when he is so untrusting?
If he really loves you, maybe he could change. Maybe he
had deep psychic scars fr... (read in full...)
I feel like im on the back burner.. How do I deal with it ?
Q. I am dating a divorced man with 3 teenagers that live with him. He has a very demanding job and hardly emails me as he's so busy. I feel like I'm on the back burner. How do I deal with this? ...
A. 5 October 2006: Please don't give up on him -- he may appreciate you
much more than you know. Try gently to tell him how
you feel, that you need more from this relationship.
Are you close in age? Teenagers, especially three, can
be a handful, and what happene... (read in full...)
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