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... Send *anya a private message | | | *anya's profile:I live in the US, and friends always call me for advice! So I thought I could (hopefully)
help out a few people here on DearCupid. The only person I can't seem to advise is
myself. Although, after being a part of DearCupid for a few years, I feel I've gained some valuable insights on life & love.
One thing for sure, I am ALWAYS a believer that Love Conquers All!!!!!!!
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"Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser". Why do they talk like that?
Q. Why is it i constantly hear women with young male children, speaking to another woman. OOOH he's a proper lad he's going to be a bit of a one with the women, then a beaming smile. Like whats this all about? Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser?...
A. 29 May 2008: There are (at least) two views on this question. First, of course I hope these women don't mean that they want their son to be a hurtful womanizer, breaking hearts left and right. That would NOT be good!! Second, I think maybe it's a kind of geneti... (read in full...)
Relationship issues... he just told me that he wants to be just friends. Will he come back to me or should I move on?
Q. Was dating this guy for 10 months, he has past relationship issues that scares him, but we did enjoy each other's company, we have a lot in common, and had planned to do different things this summer together. I saw him 2 weeks ago,then I got a ...
A. 29 May 2008: How do you feel about this guy REALLY? I can't tell from your letter. I think you need to see him face-to-face, the e-mail message sounds cold. If he really cares about you, he wouldn't say this by e-mail. I would say, keep him as a friend a... (read in full...)
Dating and older man who is my grad-school professor!?
Q. I am a 27 year old grad student and considering dating my 50 year old professor. I have taken 2 independent studies with him and 2 classes (undergraduate and graduate). Upon his recommendation, I am transferring to a top 10 university. To be ...
A. 29 May 2008: This is a very good question, because you don't want to ruin a friendship that seems to be good for both of you. If he is writing you poems, etc., then you have captured his imagination and affection! I wonder what field you are both in. If you ... (read in full...)
A poem I wrote...
Q. A hundred causes is between people But for us truly neither To live like we live one without other A hundred causes is separating us But is one of them worth To let us live,like we living? Tonight I lose my breath And I scream in the s...
A. 22 May 2008: Thank you for your beautiful poem -- your extreme sensitivity and embracing heart are a wonderful thing! I don't know why love sometimes doesn't keep going for both partners the same way when it seems so all-encompassing! I hear your agony, and I ... (read in full...)
I dated another girl. How can I go back to how it was?
Q. My girlfriend have known one another for a very long time and were friends for part of this time. A few years back I made a huge mistake, and I can honestly say it was the worst decision on my life. We were talking about our feelings for one another ...
A. 16 May 2008: I agree with orange bunny that, given time, she will slowly learn to trust you again. You may want to re-examine why you drifted to the second girl in the first place. It may just be a matter of your growing up and finding yourself! Now your ... (read in full...)
I love him but have problems trusting him
Q. I have a boyfriend,we started dated 2 yrs ago,at first things were not that great,there was no trust, we loved each other but he still had his girlfriend and that ruined our relationship because sometimes she will call and i will get jelouse but i ...
A. 15 May 2008: I think you have to "start over" with him. He needs to trust you, too! You said you cheated on him twice, was it two one-night stands or what? That wasn't very good, either!! You both have to start taking the relationship seriously and if you really ... (read in full...)
How do I get her number without looking desperate?
Q. Hi, i ask a somewhat similar question a few days back, but i added on to it. I know handing a girl your number is a bad thing, makes them think your desperate or whatnot but what if the only time you see this girl ,its only for a minute each day....
A. 28 April 2008: In the past, men have given me their phone numbers and i was very flattered! I didn't realize till I learned from others that it was supposed to be the other way around!! I wonder how much it really matters these days, it depends on the couple ... (read in full...)
I don't want her new friend to ruin our relationship or anything but at this point I truly feel like he is in the way.
Q. I was very attracted to a girl I was working with for a while. She had just gotten out of a relationship and we began hanging out and hitting it off amazingly well. After a few weeks of spending a lot of time together I told her how I felt about her ...
A. 3 March 2008: It sounds to me as though she is starting to get hung up on this new guy,
but she's not ready to let go of you. I don't think you are being "needy" or
"overjealous" -- i think your reaction is normal! He may be a threat to your
relations... (read in full...)
We just got back together and he tells me he's going out with friends instead of me!!!!
Q. Ok so if it was finished with you and your boyfriend, but you both knew you'd get back together, and you did just this week. Would you be kinda odd if he wanted to be with the boys tonight rather than you??? Well thats my story, we finished ...
A. 29 February 2008: Actually, I CAN see how you'd be hurt. Perhaps, for three days you anticipated a joyful reunion, & only got to see him briefly... And then he wants to see his boys instead of running to you!? (Earlier in the week, you were probably a total wreck ... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend and let her know that he has been playing both of us?
Q. Wondering if i should call my cheating ex boyfriend's current girl and let her know that he has been playing both of us. I am the only one that knows about it. She is only 22 and he is turning 34 this year. So she is young and I would be lying if I ...
A. 27 February 2008: I heartily agree with your choice of nonaction! Best of Luck and may a wonderful man come into your life very soon!... (read in full...)
I'm sure he's cheating, isn't he?
Q. Here is my question. To make a long story short, My boyfriend got a text from a woman that he is supposedly "friends" with, asking if she left a pair of black pants at his house. I calmly asked him how long he had something going on with her. He ...
A. 26 February 2008: Some men do have a lot of female friends, and if this is something that makes you uncomfortable, then you and he may have to talk about it. Imagine if you were dating a movie star! As for the black pants, if he's covering up about it, then you have ... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend and let her know that he has been playing both of us?
Q. Wondering if i should call my cheating ex boyfriend's current girl and let her know that he has been playing both of us. I am the only one that knows about it. She is only 22 and he is turning 34 this year. So she is young and I would be lying if I ...
A. 26 February 2008: I agree with the other aunts, and I'm glad you wrote in rather than acting. If he never even tried to call you since the night of your miscarriage, then he sounds completely odious and contemptible. How long ago did that happen? Hope that you have ... (read in full...)
How do I get him interested again?
Q. my husband and i have been experiencing difficulties in our marriage he tells me a part of him has died and he's not happy anymore. he says that he feels i was never interested in him much and it is definately not true. I was just too busy taking ...
A. 26 February 2008: Hi! You and your husband have been married many years to now have a daughter in law. There are many ways you can re-invigorate your marriage, and mandy7 has fully covered the sexy backflip territory! One thing I learned, is to think back to the time ... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 24 February 2008: Dear Tommy2K7,
It's FAB that you are continuing a previous question! I so often wonder what happens to those who ask for advice, whether it helps, etc.!
The previous answers still are relevant, like about REALLY getting over her cheating and... (read in full...)
I've had to come home alone on the night before valentines day. I feel like I've missed a big chhance tonight. What can I do in future?
Q. Hi. I've had a brilliant night!: I walked around with a women's football team, who were playing something called Pub golf. They walked from pub to pub ordering different drinks each time, and downed them as quick as they could. Most of them wer...
A. 14 February 2008: I think it wasn't so bad tonight, though you hopefully will see the ones you liked the best again. At least, now they are all intrigued!! Also, they will think you a gentleman. You should definitely put aside money for that taxi (or BORROW it from ... (read in full...)
Me and my ex want to be together but she is afraid that I will hurt her again.
Q. Hi all! Here is my problem. I broke up with my girlfriend about two weeks ago. We were together for a year and three months. We were having problems for the last month and we were working hard to overcome them. Just when happiness started coming ...
A. 14 February 2008: Never lose hope! I was so sorry to hear that you are so unhappy about the turn of events. You never can tell, time will tell if she will ever see the light, or if you will meet someone you will love even more deeply. In the meantime, I wi... (read in full...)
Me and my ex want to be together but she is afraid that I will hurt her again.
Q. Hi all! Here is my problem. I broke up with my girlfriend about two weeks ago. We were together for a year and three months. We were having problems for the last month and we were working hard to overcome them. Just when happiness started coming ...
A. 4 February 2008: You sound like you really love her, being afraid that she'll be instantaneously "snapped up" be another man! I agree with Annalisa that if she truly loves you, then she won't get over you so quickly! If she loves you then she will be open to ... (read in full...)
What did he mean in his text when he said I need someone on my own level?
Q. hi, this is a long one so sorry if it takes time. I recently found an old text on my old sim from my one and only boyfreind of about 4 weeks, we split December last year, (this is not all of the text he sent). I never really read it properly ...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi! Please don't "go mad." It sound like your old boyfriend really hit a sensitive spot when he said your level. As birdynumnums suggested, it might have to do with your activity level, but I think it might also have to do with your level of self ... (read in full...)
What levels of detail would you want to know if your wife cheated on you?
Q. Hey all there. I' coming again with an additional question. My wife cheated on me and I want to thank all the persons who gave me quite helpful advice. You can see my earlier question on http:/...
A. 1 February 2008: I think it depends on the individual situation. Not only, could You handle it? (as Troubletoomuch wrote), but can your marriage bear right now? If things are tender and/or sensitive, it might be better to eschew the details, and concentrate on YOUR ... (read in full...)
The Christmas tree!
Q. Oh, heres another story from Waterloo Sunset pages. On Christmas, not that long ago, when my son, James and I lived on our own. I set out to get a Christmas tree on my own, always having the help of someone to get this for me in the past, it see...
A. 30 January 2008: Dear Waterloo sunset, I really liked your Christmas story!! It cheered me up on a cold, rainy January day.... (I still have my Christmas lights up, by the way!) Manya Happy 2008 ... (read in full...)
Tony or Adrien - which do I choose?
Q. Hey I need help. I have two guys I really like ones name is tony and the other is adrien and tony lives here and adrien lives in new york. I've met tony and he's nice but he's very hyper he can't sit still for very long he's very goofy and isn't ...
A. 19 January 2008: Hello! My advice is to give it more time. No one can choose for you, you must
consult your own heart. You're free, so you could even meet a third chap, if you like!
(As they say, there are many fish in the sea!!) It does sound like you're more dra... (read in full...)
Is my Male friend to old for this Girl?
Q. hi everyone i have a bit of a problem with my best mate i dont know what to do he is 36 nearly 37 and recently confided in me that he has been having a relationship (mainly just sexual) with a 16 year old... ok this sounds alot worse its making...
A. 18 January 2008: You are a VERY GOOD friend to this man, and I think he is not being a moral person. As a teacher he shouldn't be involved with a student. Period!!!!
You should tell him that as his friend you have to tell him that he is doing a bad thing, and also... (read in full...)
I'm going mad! I love this other woman and I love my wife...help me!
Q. Help Im going crazy Im a 47 year old married man with 4 kids. About 6 months ago I meet a lady shes 35 years old 3 kids I meet her at work her husband had just walked out on her and I was concerned about her there was nothing sexual about it I was ...
A. 15 January 2008: It's" easy"
(at least for starters) to be helpful to a woman who's gone through the
horrendous experience of having her husband walk out on her, and it must've boosted your manhood to help the damsel in distress. I don't mean to put a nega†ive... (read in full...)
I'm 16, he's 31 and I met him online. Should I meet him?
Q. Hey im 16 i have been talking to this guy online for a few months. To start with i didnt knw his age n he didnt know mine. I recently found out he's 31 he thought i was about 19 but now knows im 16. We both like eachother but know it would be kinda...
A. 15 January 2008: Please don't meet with this guy. You don't know anything about him, and he may
be a bad person, no matter how nice he sounds on the Internet. I think you should talk to your parents about this -- probably you didn't want to hear me say this, but ... (read in full...)
What are the after effects of interrupting a diet, on your birthday? Should I turn down the cake?
Q. hi i have been trying to lose weight for about a week and i am not expecting any results as i am not on a drastic diet, jsut healthier eating. I want to be much slimmer by summer 08 and i want the weight to stay off. however, it is my birt...
A. 15 January 2008: Hi! You sound very resolved to lose weight by summer, and you do not mention your current body type, or if a doctor would say you really need to lose weight, so I will just give a general answer. I would say that, it being January, it will not make ... (read in full...)
Why do I always get paranoid and think I will be ditched for someone else??
Q. Hi all, I am 33 and am currently dating a man of 38. We have only had 5 dates so far. Last night I took him to a dinner party with 7 other friends. There was a single girl there of a similar age to me who I thought was quite attractive. I notice...
A. 2 December 2007: This is a good question which may be answered in date #6. Richard EMids asked a good question about how much this is a recurrent theme in your life. Perhaps you just need to develop more self confidence! I would also like to ask you how the othe... (read in full...)
Do you ever forget your first love??
Q. Hi, i want to ask everyone who has been in love two questions: Do you ever forget your first love? Would you get back with them if you had the chance?...
A. 2 December 2007: I would say that no one ever forgets their first love! But now I can't remember who was first --- only kidding! Some loves you might go out with again, others you realized were impossible, and could never really happen. When I went to
my high scho... (read in full...)
Whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal?
Q. Hi I've just recently met a guy I like a lot. The trouble is, whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal? I keep wretchin...
A. 2 December 2007: That's wonderful! And thanks for getting back to all the Agony Aunts with this
update! It gives everyone hope, that love happens, sometimes in its own
time, but feelings are real!!!
Best of luck!!... (read in full...)
How do I get true love?
Q. thank you. dear Andrew. i am betty from ethiopia. i am 19 years single pretty girl.now i need true love.i need help....
A. 10 November 2007: Dear Betty from Ethiopia,
Writing to DearCupid is a great start, because there is much good advice here in this website! Finding true love may be a bit of a trial and error thing, as one
may have to "kiss a few frogs before you find your pr... (read in full...)
I want to make plans for our future as a family but he won't talk about it. How should I deal with this?
Q. It may sound crazy but I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 3 months and I know I want to be committed to him. It literally took us 3 days to fall in love. I've been engaged twice and been in other long-term relationships, but I knew ...
A. 10 November 2007: I agree with the others that you may be putting too much pressure on this guy! Your biological clock is no doubt going off like a timebomb! I know someone who was in a similar situation, and she wound up ruining things when the guy had been think... (read in full...)
I was just wondering if I call my boyfriend too much?
Q. I was just wondering if I call my boyfriend too much? I call him any time I need to talk. If he doesn't answer the phone I will wait about an hour and then call again until he answers the phone. If he doesn't answer the phone by the time I go to be...
A. 5 November 2007: Have your boyfriend's responses ever indicated that HE thinks you're calling too much? If not, then I wouldn't worry: Sounds like your problems may be circumstantial -- like, he can't call you back late at night because he doesn't want to wake up ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he needs to sample the single life before we marry, now he's sleeping around, I love him but should I wait?
Q. Ok I am in an odd situation... I've been with my boyfriend since high school and we have a great relationship we don't have many big fights. We are both second year university students now and he and I have been talking about the possibility of ...
A. 5 November 2007: He is definitely selfish to say you should "bear with him" until he "decided that he was satisfied." That is so insensitive and cruel! He does sound immature and too self absorbed to marry. You deserve better!
I would definitely throw up in t... (read in full...)
His looking at porn has brought me out in spots! How do I get over this?
Q. 3 months ago i found out my boyfriend of 7 years whom i lived with was looking at porn, searching for very specificthings (bending over ect) and chatting to girls in chat rooms, and was a member of a sex chat site. Most of...
A. 27 October 2007: I think you should see him LESS than you are now, for sure. It sounds like you're not quite ready to really break up. But the stress is having an ill effect on you! Superdopah has good advice about the vitamins and exercise. Especially, if your fall ... (read in full...)
What do I do now? I'm lost!
Q. Any advice right now would be so greatly appreciated...My boyfriend of 4 years has just broken up with me. I am absolutely devastated, and I really didn't see it coming. We got together at the start of uni, and graduated in the summer. He is now in ...
A. 21 October 2007: Dear autumnleaves07,
Poor you, poor you, you have my absolute sympathy! I hope you are making friends there in France. It was pitiless that he broke up with you by e-mail, I knew a woman whose husband broke up a 30 year marriage by e-ma... (read in full...)
How should I treat him to make him a better man?
Q. Help! My bf is an ex-jerk. He is trying so hard to be good to me. But since I don't know the before and after, his efforts to me are so meager. And because of it, he resents me when I don't compliment him. Also, I cannot criticize him because he ...
A. 21 October 2007: This is a good question. I agree wih peoriaman's insights. and also recommend that book. I want to ask you how long you've been going out? It sounds like he's a bit on a different wavelength,
very focused on himself, like when you say he wants to b... (read in full...)
Who is right and who is wrong? I woke up in the middle of the night and my husband was at the PC, chatting.
Q. We had a great day together. Around midnight I went to bed, he was watching a game on TV. I woke up at 2:30am and he was not in bed. Without much thought I went downstairs. He is on his computer, chatting. He said he was chatting with his coworkers. ...
A. 21 October 2007: Well, I can see why you got upset, possibly you felt left out, like why wasn't your nice day enough for him? But he couldn't sleep and had extra energy, so instead of waking you up, he went on the computer. I've had something similar happen to me, ... (read in full...)
I might be an engineer, but how do I avoid infidelity?
Q. I'm going to be graduating this year with a civil engineering degree. I will probably end up becoming a chartered engineer but i'm in a dilemma. I would like to travel and work but i also would like to et married and have children. But that's t...
A. 10 October 2007: There is no easy answer to this question. They say cheating is partly the character of the person and may be
partly circumstantial. From the way you write, you don't sound like a natural cheater, and hopefully have never done so. So you're worr... (read in full...)
Is he trying to trick me into ending my marriage?
Q. I am a married woman ( 6 years) who has been having an affair with a younger man for four years. My lover and i only see each other once every two months or so, we usually spend one night together during that time, although we speak and or text ...
A. 8 October 2007: My gut reaction is to say that you should stay with your husband. You haven't told us much about your marriage, but six years is a long time! You only
see this other guy once a month, so it seems like it's not on an equal basis with your
day-t... (read in full...)
Is he seeing someone behind my back? Why would he lie?
Q. i think my boyfriend is seeing someone behind my back the other night he said he was at home but i knew he was not because his car was not there.when questioned he said it was but i am not blind.he said he loves me more than anything so why lie to ...
A. 30 September 2007: I thought anonymous' reply was excellent. What I've learned, is not to confront or accuse. For all you know, he was planning a surprise for you!
Truly, it could have been anything from a secret errand that he'd rather not
explain to you, or an ex... (read in full...)
I have period problems - can anyone give me some advice?
Q. hi everyone! i didnt have my period for about 2 months, so when it came, i had them for more than 2 weeks. that's "really" annoying, because it takes a long time before it ends and when i go to school it gets more annoying! arhgh! help! ps: do ...
A. 25 September 2007: HI! There are many reasons why your period may have been delayed. If this keeps happening, ask your mother or the school nurse and your family may take to you to a doctor/gynocologist. But one obvious reason is stress. This can make your period ... (read in full...)
My current bf is a lot like my ex. I don't want to repeat what happened - what should I do?
Q. Ive been seeing this guy recently for a couple of weeks and I really like him and he really likes me too. The only thing I have so far seen that may stop this working out in the long run is that he works so much! He works 50, nearly 60 hours a week! ...
A. 19 September 2007: Hi! I think this was the standard reason, at least when I was growing up, why doctors had so much difficulty in their marriages -- the long hours!
I saw a thing on Dr. Phil where it was the oppostite situation, where the woman was very mate... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 17 August 2007: If you really love her and there's a lot of substance between you two, being a shoulder to cry on is not the worse thing to be! But if you want her back for yourself you do need to assert your Manhood, as Danielepew suggests. She was unfaithf... (read in full...)
Whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal?
Q. Hi I've just recently met a guy I like a lot. The trouble is, whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal? I keep wretchin...
A. 14 August 2007: I think if he's sitting on a fence across from your house
that he likes you a lot! It sounds like you both like each
other. He probably did run out of credit on his phone, I
would believe it.
There's no harm in inviting him in for coffee. That... (read in full...)
Whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal?
Q. Hi I've just recently met a guy I like a lot. The trouble is, whenever I see him, I feel sick with nerves, and I feel sick when I hear the mention of his name and even when I see him in person or even think of him, is this normal? I keep wretchin...
A. 7 August 2007: I agree with Polly - you are falling for this guy deeply! I sincerely hope that he
recipricates & that you two start going out. This is the time to look your best
and maybe put some of your thoughts into a poem/journal... Be positive!
Also, i... (read in full...)
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