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| | louxxlouxx's profile:Hiya, I'm Lou and I'm 20 years old. I live in England and am studying towards a degree in English Lit and Sociology at uni. When I graduate I am really interested in writing for a magazine or newspaper, and in particular would love to write an advice column. I love helping others, I don't judge people and I always express my opinion so I think that kind of job would be perfect for me. I'm here to get some experience giving advice to others and to work on my writing technique so I can improve the way I deliver my advice to those who need it.
I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys more and to helping you with those things that just get too much for us sometimes! x |
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Does it hurt worse to lose your virginity when you are younger?
Q. i was wondering if it would hurt worse to lose your virginity when your my age which is thirteen or if it was the same no matter what age you are cause my friend said it was worse when your younger....
A. 13 November 2009: Don't be scared about losing your virginity that is the mistake a LOT of girls make and I think it is that fear which makes it painful lol because you aren't relaxed enough. I lost my virginity at 16 with my (still current) boyfriend :) and it was ... (read in full...)
A few years back, my bf pretty much called me fat. Now that he and I are both ready to hit the sack, I can't get over it. Help!
Q. My bf and I have been together for almost three years yet have been friends since he was 9 and I was 10. I'm overweight (5'7", 190 lbs) and a few days after we started 10th grade I was feeling down and he said to me "if you did some more physical ...
A. 13 November 2009: The fact is this comment upset you so regardless of how he intended it to come across it needs to be discussed. I get the impression there is a good chance he may have meant you will be more physically attractive in your own eyes - it can't be a big ... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss and I don't know how to handle the situation
Q. Just looking for opinions. My BF has been living with me since last November. He had recently divorced and was paying off some things so I didn't ask him for much. He kept saying things like, once I sell this or that, I can pitch in. He does help ...
A. 1 June 2009: I get the impression that this guy is taking you for a bit of a ride. The fact that he is staying in such close contact and helping out his ex yet giving you no financial support suggests to me that he is not completely over their relationship and ... (read in full...)
What is true love?
Q. hey i need help with something and i would love you guys to help me well i don't know what love is ...meaning like how do you know when your in love is it when u miss that person is it when you want to kiss that person every time u see them and also...
A. 1 June 2009: I don't think there is really a firm definition of love, I think it is different for everyone. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now and at the beginning we used to do lots of kissing etc. and go on and on about how much we loved each ... (read in full...)
Please help me decide what to do
Q. I have recently found myself in a messy situation. I have been drawn to a guy and did not realize he felt the same way so I was truly amazed when a couple of weeks ago he made a move. One thing led to another and well we both have acted on our ...
A. 1 June 2009: You have to make a decision, and fairly quickly, on which man you would prefer to be with, or if you would prefer to be alone. Keep in mind that you are both betraying your marital partners and it is unfair to treat them this way. If you don't f... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable or is she letting me down?
Q. Last week my best friend died tragically and today was her funeral. The past week has been horrendous for me. My fiance is away visiting family at the moment and has not really what I would consider supportive of my loss and grief. Today ...
A. 11 February 2009: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :( I don't think your fiance is being fair, I would suggest spending as much time with other friends and family while she is away and letting her make the next move. Something important could have happened that ... (read in full...)
I want a name that is mine..not a generic name!
Q. I've posted before about how I hate my name, and I've decided I want to change it. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but I've never been able to identify with the legal name I got. I feel like it's not even my name and I was meant to be named ...
A. 11 February 2009: Google search "spanish surnames" and for your middle name "spanish names". There are sites that provide a list of spanish names and their meanings so you can find one that has importance to you by the meaning.
However think about this a little m... (read in full...)
We're dating but both still have profiles on dating sites?
Q. Ok, so my bf and I met on an online dating site. The thing is we both still have the profiles up! He brought it up a few times and said, "I'm thinking about deleting the profile." But he never did. I know that he's logging on every day. I haven't...
A. 11 February 2009: He may have kept his profile because you haven't taken yours down and he thinks you may not be that serious.
Next time you are together you should say "I think you're right, we should delete our profiles cuz I really like you and think we should g... (read in full...)
Why is he chatting to some random girl?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend gave me the password to his email account about a couple of years ago to check something for him when he was out. I was boried the other day and I looked in his email account (I know i felt bad as soon as I did it). Well I found ...
A. 11 February 2009: Try to be positive about this, there could be reasonable explanations for this. Maybe he genuinely finds the dating profiles really funny so for some sites he had to sign up in order to view other profiles. However if he has put up a pic and created ... (read in full...)
I love my ex but he hates me because my friends set us a trap...
Q. hi im gonna say it straightforward...my ex hates me well...thats the way it seems and i mean i didnt really say anything nasty when he dumped me over a text after spending almost the whole day together!that was like three weeks ago and when he ...
A. 11 February 2009: Next time you see him walk over to him and ask to speak to him alone, if he is being awkward and won't come away from his friends or whatever just explain. Say that your now ex friends sent it for some pathetic reason and that you never wanted to ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife or not?
Q. I'm not sure how far to push this, or if I should leave my wife or not. I'm really pissed off, not only at what she did, but her attitude that it was no big deal. That just makes me think she will do something like this again. We got married, and...
A. 30 September 2008: It is definitely a big deal and you have every right to be angry at her! It is unbelievable that she was so laid back about it. Ask her how she would feel if you met a woman and "only" touched her in that way, or if another woman had done that for ... (read in full...)
What should I do when my husband cheats every six months?
Q. ok, so i've been married for almost 4 yrs, and my husband cheats on my about every six months it breaks my heart. we have talked and talked. he says he wants to keep our marriage. i beleive that there is hope for us but im tired of hurting. i dont ...
A. 30 September 2008: If you are really going to try and rebuild your marriage then you have to lay down the law with this man. Let him know exactly how it makes you feel to know he has been with other women and that it is completely unacceptable to continue with this ... (read in full...)
I'm a lesbian and I need advice!
Q. dearcupids! i really dont know what to do at the minute, well, im 17 and i am a lesbian, i was pretty ashamed at first, didnt want to admit to myself or my family but it was easier than i thought, when i introduced my girlfriend to my family, she ...
A. 30 September 2008: It is so sad to hear what you have been through. Don't punish yourself for this. It is a common thing to do but you couldn't have done anything more. It sounds to me like all you did was make her last months bearable. She had had to deal with so ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant even though I had my period?
Q. long story short me an my boyfriend had sex 2 weeks ago the day after we had sex my period came my period came late but it still came but ever since then ive been having stomach pains an cramping could i be pregnant even though i had my period?...
A. 30 September 2008: Yes, some women have periods right through their pregnancy, that is why a very small number of women give birth when they didn't even know they were pregnant because they assumed they couldn't be after having periods. Get yourself a pregnancy test... (read in full...)
My husband's ex interferes with our marriage! Any advice?
Q. I hae been married to my husband for two years. His ex-wife has been a constant interference in our marriage. At one point he was discussing our relationship with her and getting advice, he also was talking to her anywhere from 3 to 6 times a day. ...
A. 30 September 2008: Your husband has been extremely unfair to you so you need to have a serious chat with him. Let him know that you are fully aware that he needs to have a civilised relationship with her for the sake of his children and have no problem with them ... (read in full...)
I feel our child kicking in my stomach and it breaks my heart!
Q. I am having another problem, our first problem ballooned to a nightmare. My first blog was that I am 7 months pregnant and found nude pix of his ex and him on his computer, he did not want to get rid of them and days later he said he did, and hated ...
A. 30 September 2008: I know it is a terrifying thought but I think you may be much better off seperating to relieve you of all this stress. You won't be doing your baby any favours by staying in a miserable relationship just for the sake of having 2 full time parents. ... (read in full...)
I feel paranoid about my LDR. How can I ease my mind?
Q. i've been in a long distance relationship for a year now. We live really far away and only get to see each other once every 6 weeks. I suppose i'm an paranoid person at heart and i'm always worrying about how many times i should phone him etc. But ...
A. 30 September 2008: I am in a LDR aswell though prob not as long distance as yours cuz I see my bf once a week. My bf has a habit of leaving the calls to me aswell but it does seem strange that he doesn't ring you even after a week. If I don't ring my bf in the evening ... (read in full...)
My online boyfriend quit speaking to me, why?
Q. ive known this guy over the internet for ages now! we met a while back like twice and then when he added me on msn we got chattin alot, i really liked him and he liked me, he asked me out on a date on friday and i thought it was amazing! i was like ...
A. 30 September 2008: Well done for turning him down cuz he has proven straight away what a horrible person he is. All he cared about was having sex with you and because you had the confidence to turn him down he is throwing a hissy fit. Block him from msn, delete him ... (read in full...)
How can I cover up the bruises and scratches I got from my boyfriend?
Q. How can i cover these bruises i got from my boyfriend and the scratches on my wrists that i did to myself because of him hurting me? They are fresh and just done today. Before u judge me about hurting myself. Its because my whole life from six years ...
A. 30 September 2008: Don't worry about people judging you! You have been through a LOT of hard times so it is understandable that you look for whatever means possible to relieve your stress. Obviously though it is a problem and you need to try and get some counselling ... (read in full...)
I'm not a sex addict, am I?
Q. I'm not a sex addict am I? My wife just tells me I may be but i'm not that convinced I am. She is 6 years older than me and has already been around the block. Im in the military and I have to leave for certain things. Recently I went to another ...
A. 30 September 2008: Sounds like you have a perfectly healthy approach to sex. It is natural to relieve your sexual frustration when you are away from your wife! We are designed to want sex so don't let your wife make you feel bad for what you are doing! A lot of people ... (read in full...)
I have a mental block when it comes to my girlfriend and I lose my erection!
Q. everything is great btwn us ... but we have this problem with our sex life.. we've had sex on and off for the past couple months.. but we've gone awhile without sex.. when we try i lose my erection as soon as we are about to have sex... i'm hard ...
A. 30 September 2008: Try and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You are so worried about not pleasing her that your body is reacting by confirming your worries! Your girlfriend loves you and that is all you have to think about. A technique I read about for ... (read in full...)
My husband acts like I cheated when I didn't! How do I get him to stop pushing me away?
Q. I've been with my husband for 17 years and married for 15. During our relationship I have always been honest and faithful and gone through a lot with him. In the past, he has given me many reasons not to trust him but still, I stayed and moved on. ...
A. 30 September 2008: Sounds to me like he may have finally experienced what you have been throughout your marriage. Try speaking to him again and explain the situation again. Tell him you were concerned about how he would react but appreciate that you have obviously put ... (read in full...)
What did he mean when he said this?
Q. Ok this has confused me abit. Well before i start i'd like you to know that this bullying is mroe or less over but i'm still wondering about this. Basically afew members of the group suddenly took a disliking to me, never found out why or anything...
A. 29 August 2008: I think he probably meant that he didn't want to do that himself but if I'm honest I would suggest you don't even waste your time on this guy. If he likes you and isn't sticking up for you more vocally then he isn't worth it. Regardless of whether ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my friend?
Q. Hi people quick question if you could answer it that'd be so good! Well im 17 and havent really had a bf / sex yet but it doesnt really bother me that much. Me and my male friend whose 18 are soo close and just sit chatting and such in our unde...
A. 29 August 2008: I think if you are gonna go for this you should see how he feels about you 1st. Don't have sex with him in the hope that he will tell you how he feels afterwards because he may only like you as a friend and your feelings may grow stronger and you ... (read in full...)
Was it stupid of me to help the girl I like to meet the boy she fancies?
Q. there's a girl in my school and i've been in love with her for 3 years but i've never had the courage to ask her out, and now she has forgotten how i feel about and recently she has been asking for my advice on a guy and i have been givin it and now ...
A. 25 August 2008: Not at all, it just shows you how selfless you are, you care about this girl so you want her to be happy even if it isn't with you. I would wait and see how it goes with this new guy, if it is going well and she seems happy then try to move on, ... (read in full...)
There's no spark with my current guy, but my ex turns me on.
Q. I have a question. I'm in such a hard spot right now. I been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we should have broken up after the first week. I don't feel attracted to him anymore because he makes me so upset all the time. He is like a f...
A. 21 August 2008: Just read "Lonelybutnotalone"'s response and I would agree with that except you said you have felt like this since the 1st week of your relationship. If everything had been ok until you met with this ex then I would agree with "LBNA" but you said ... (read in full...)
There's no spark with my current guy, but my ex turns me on.
Q. I have a question. I'm in such a hard spot right now. I been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we should have broken up after the first week. I don't feel attracted to him anymore because he makes me so upset all the time. He is like a f...
A. 21 August 2008: Your happiness is worth much more than hurting him because that hurt will eventually lead to his happiness too when he moves on from this relationship. You have been through enough as it is, don't stay with someone who you have no connection with ... (read in full...)
Is he being a little over-sensitive that I still had a photo of me and my ex in an album?
Q. I had a picture of me and my ex in my photo album (we broke up 10 months ago) and my new b/f saw it and got really mad and hurt that i still have it. I'm going to throw it away, i guess i just don't get why he was so mad. i know all of us are enti...
A. 6 August 2008: Definitely so. Your ex is part of your past so you are entitled to keep that memory of him. If you are not sure about throwing the photo away then don't do it! What if your new relationship doesn't work out? Then you will have no photo to remind you ... (read in full...)
Do guys like short girls?
Q. do guys like short girls? im only 5ft but the guy i like is about 6ft, do you think he would like me even though im small?...
A. 4 August 2008: You know what I have the opposite thing with you, I am 5ft 7 and not that much shorter than my boyfriend and I always wish I was a teeny bit smaller cuz I always felt boys would prefer a small girl cuz it is more "cute" and reinforces the whole ... (read in full...)
I'm Muslim and I think I've fallen for my best friend!
Q. I'm a muslim girl, and i think i have started to fall in love with my best mate. Im totally shocked with how i feel and cannot help it. We see eachother almost everyday, she drives round my house to hang out on lazy days, or were usually out ...
A. 4 August 2008: COMPLETELY agree with Collaroy. I respect other people's rights to their opinions i.e. "bebe girlie" and respect other people's religious beliefs but I feel there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Like Collaroy says the real sin is lying to ... (read in full...)
What are the chances he does like me for me, or am I just being prudish about his comments?
Q. I'm not used to dating, as I married young and I guess never learned stuff that most people do while I was worrying about other things. Last week I had my first date since my divorce. It took me a long time to agree to it (about a year!), but in t...
A. 3 August 2008: If he was only interested in you for sex then I really doubt he would have kept asking you out for so long. I really think you should give this guy a chance. If you don't feel ready for a full on sexual relationship with him then you should tell him ... (read in full...)
I'm Muslim and I think I've fallen for my best friend!
Q. I'm a muslim girl, and i think i have started to fall in love with my best mate. Im totally shocked with how i feel and cannot help it. We see eachother almost everyday, she drives round my house to hang out on lazy days, or were usually out ...
A. 3 August 2008: I wouldn't advise rushing into this straight away. A LOT of people contemplate their sexual orientation around the teen years so it could be that, or even just because you have spent so much time distancing yourself from boys that you are confused ... (read in full...)
During the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. Why? Doesn't she find me attractive?
Q. Hi, my problem is that during the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. I asked her why this is happening and she said she doesn't know. She says it isn't me.... but if it is then i doubt she would tell me. Its kind of awkward,...
A. 3 August 2008: Focus more time on foreplay and this should help. Don't worry it isn't you, like lexilou says a lot if not all women have varying levels of "wetness", the human body is a strange thing! It could be that she is stressed about something else and that ... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend won't come and meet me and wants me to go there. Is that normal?
Q. hey Im 15 I have met this girl on the internet and i really like and she really likes me to. She live 2 houres away from me by train but only 45 minutes by car. I asked is she could get in her car and come and met me but she said no she want...
A. 30 July 2008: I met my boyfriend online too, I asked him to come and meet me here and he agreed and brought a friend. I took a friend too and we arranged to meet at the train station then go on to a theme park. My mum took me and the friend to the train station ... (read in full...)
Biology question - can you get pregnant from this?
Q. can you get pregnant if he fingered you and his finger had cum on it but the morning after you got your period, and then.. while you were on your period u had sex? ...
A. 22 July 2008: It is possible if he had sperm on his fingers. If you manage to escape pregnancy this time then make sure he washes his hands first next time. The missed period to indicat could be the next one so you will have to see what happens. Make sure you are ... (read in full...)
What advice do I give to my friend about her boyfriend?
Q. My friends boyfriend is messing her around - they got together a year ago, they've had their arguments, like all couples, and they've broken up more times than I care to think!! Two Thursdays ago she said he dumped her because she was, in his words ...
A. 22 July 2008: I think for now you should let her get on with it because she obviously wants to be with him right now. If they split up again then maybe give the advice. Just tell her to really think about what she wants before she takes him back because you think ... (read in full...)
We've had a complicated over cautious relationship - what do I do now?
Q. Hi, the more opinions the better please, this one has me stumped! I started seeing a guy around mid April, we were boyfriend/girlfriend but keeping it quite casual as I'd just come ut of a long relationshipo and he's often busy with work and is ...
A. 22 July 2008: Why don't you arrange to go out to dinner or something? Invite him on a date somewhere where you can really chat. Explain that you understand why he is being cautious but you can't go the rest of your lives letting past relationships get in the way ... (read in full...)
He gone cold because I was ill and couldn't see him. What do I do?
Q. Okay, Well Im 15, dating this 16 year old guy. My first time dating, hes been in previous relationships and I haven't. I had an accident and I wasn't able to leave the house for 6 weeks. Over those 6 weeks, things started getting a LITTLE w...
A. 22 July 2008: I think you should move on from this relationship. You can't help that you had an accident and it sounds like he is throwing a tantrum and trying to blame you for it. He seems like he needs a lot of attention and it is not realistic for him to ... (read in full...)
I think I want to move on, but he keeps kissing me! Should I just carry on with this weird relationship?
Q. Hi everyone! Well I have a pretty straight forward question so I hope you can all help me. Basically I went out with the most amazing boy for a whole year and for someone my age that is practically forever!!!! Any ways and since we have been broke...
A. 21 July 2008: You need to move on from this loser, you may love him but unfortunately he doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't be doing this to you. Don't feel too bad, I mean you prob could have tried harder to resist but HE is the cheat not you. Don't let HIM ... (read in full...)
We're 15 and the condom broke! How long until do I wait to use the morning after pill?
Q. Hi Ive Been With My boyfriend for 1 year 8 months and we both love eachover so much he isnt a silly immature boy hes the same age as me (15) and weve had sex quite a few times and weve always used protection well yesterday this time we used ...
A. 21 July 2008: You have 3 days to take it but take it asap because the longer you leave it the less effective it is. I would advise speaking to the pharmacist about it too first so you know what to expect or if you don't feel comfortable about it then read up ... (read in full...)
I think I want to move on, but he keeps kissing me! Should I just carry on with this weird relationship?
Q. Hi everyone! Well I have a pretty straight forward question so I hope you can all help me. Basically I went out with the most amazing boy for a whole year and for someone my age that is practically forever!!!! Any ways and since we have been broke...
A. 20 July 2008: If you only want to be friends then you have to tell him, it's only fair. If you keep kissing him he will convince himself that you love him back and you will be in an even more difficult situation. Next time you are alone let him know how much you ... (read in full...)
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