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| | LonelyTwo's profile:I don't know all the answers, and I'm willing to acknowledge I don't.
I read many of the responses by women here how their husbands have become distant, lack of sex and romance. I've heard this to, but I also have recognized the onesidedness to: I'm always wrong. But I have to ask, what about my feelings. The response I hear from my wife and the women here is: no!
Men! Ever been in the delivery room with your spouse giving birth? You always thought she was sweet and shy and loving. But as the pains come, the things she says about you will latter weight on your shoulders and make you feel worthless. Well this happens through out the relationship, the delivery room scenario. It is almost like we have no feelings. We bring gifts and were already viewed as wanting sex. Sex is better then no intimacy at all. And we men learn that sex is easier to get then mental intimacy. It is a fact! Hopefully women will come around and acknowledge this about themselves and work on it. It isn't always the man's fault! |
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| Latest articles: Sitting in front of the TV or computer is the next best thing to relieving stress...or is it.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 April 2008: I hear our wives complain that we men come home and either sit in front of the TV or go onto the computer and play games. It dawned on me, being all stressed out, not sure what to do to fix the problems. I toss and turn in my head, that I realize th...
Guys in marriage (tip-thoughts)
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 April 2008: The need to go with her buying stuff for the house: I now understand the importance of going with the wife shopping. I have a 40 pound decoration she wants me to hang over our bed, but she forgot to get the hangers that go with it. Of course, ...
What causes relationships to fail?
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 April 2008: This post is more of a page of a chapter on good communication in a relationship. The idea is to post examples of what makes poor communication. I believe poor communication is the root of most problems in relationships, if not all. Things said ...
A tip about priorities
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 March 2008: After reading and responding to others, I've noticed that some wives will say they've given their all, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and the children. Out of these 4 items I've listed, children and cooking (to me) is the most important. I recall f...
A thought for women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 March 2008: After reviewing some post here on dearcupid.org, and seeing a few TV shows about how women (not all) feel about sex and their men. Some things we hear are “feel like I’m a slab of beef”; “sex on the brain”, among others. What women don’t ...
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Is my boyfriend putting off proposing because he thinks I'm too young?
Q. I need some advice from people who have experience in this area and know what they're talking about. I am almost 23 and my boyfriend is 28. We have been together for quite a while now and i guess i am hoping for an engagement ring in the next coup...
A. 13 May 2008: I would have to say your paranoid, and maybe desperate. If in fact you feel desperate, for whatever reason, this can usually be noticed, and this may send fears as to what the person might be up to, creating more paranoia now with the other.
H... (read in full...)
Men, please help me understand my boyfriend's jealousy!
Q. My boyfriend gets jealous when he sees me training another guy on my job. It's still dark out (5:00a.m.) so I understand men think weird things when it's dark, especially when my BF can't see us during this training, but why should he call this guy ...
A. 13 May 2008: I agree with peterpan.
To add, under the same clause that I might be wrong, is that the two of you haven't bond enough that the trust is there. Bonded enough that you know where each other stands in the relationship: is this forever, or temp... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 13 May 2008: Ask your doctor. They may not even have an answer for that, were talking chemistry, and nothing is definite.... (read in full...)
Why do I always put down my husband?
Q. I love my husband. Why do I always seem to put him down? I think that he is the most generous smart lovable good person that I've ever met. He is very shy, not real forthcoming with his feelings or affection for that matter. Doesn't like bei...
A. 13 May 2008: The answers have to be found from within. Consider posts to your questions tools to ask of yourself and then search for the answer from within.
Your response could be to your husband that he didn't answer with the correct one. Kind of like bein... (read in full...)
Is commitment really so different for men than for women?
Q. This is a question for the men around! I have read info basically saying that commitment is different for men and women. Apparently - women are looking for the RIGHT man to come along before they get married, whereas men are waiting for the ...
A. 13 May 2008: First, I've noticed when I was younger, late teens, that women just wanted to get married and have children. Men on the other hand, realized that they had to be the sole provider and may realize they are not capable. Why? Because they lack the ... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: After thinking about it for a while, I recall as I was dating this black girl (me white), my brother didn't approve. What I said to him kept us distant to this day, almost 24 years now.
For whatever reasons, we humans are judgemental and cause ripp... (read in full...)
I aborted his child against his wishes-Is he still holding this against me?
Q. i am a lady aged 25 i had an abortion in feb 2006 against my bfs will.he really wanted the kid but i felt we were not ready for ababy at that time.he told me that we forget about the past n later that year i got pregnant again but gave birth to a ...
A. 13 May 2008: I highly doubt it. I think it might be because of the pregnancy and birth and him not knowing it is okay to have sex, or he is overwhelmed with the new child or ...
You must talk to him about it, he may think you may not want to because of all you ... (read in full...)
Why did he give himself a handjob when he has me?
Q. i sleep with my defacto and thought i satisfied him sexually but the other morning very early he i think handjobed himself twice and now i feel i dont make him happy what does it mean when a guy gives himself a handjob when he has a live in ...
A. 13 May 2008: Masterbation is normal and healthy. It isn't healthy when he/she has a partner to do it with or will do it for him/her.
Now I doubt over time you will keep up with this. Sometimes, I wake up at 2 in the morning with an urge and accompna... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: Actually yes. I had placed an add in a dating paper. She, a black woman, sent a very sweet letter to me. We dated for a while, but because of our work and other interest, we moved on, still close friends. I have dated others, and found no ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation murder?
Q. well as u all know ''sperm'' is pretty mutch something alive ,i mean it turns into a human if u have sexual intercourse with a woman ,well if people masturbate is it a sin ,as my freind said it ''mastubation is murder'' then he followed on ...
A. 13 May 2008: Masterbation is healthy period. There are exceptions: when you have a partner and your sexually involved with them, which begins near or in the twenties.... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: I think it is natural that when your looking for someone to love you, you don't necesarily care what color skin they have, your only interested in finding someone who will love you for you, and this could come in many colors.
Society places thes... (read in full...)
Do we have double standards whenever a woman "cheats"?
Q. its funny that.....when men come on line asking for advice about cheating on their girlfriends, you never see many men being judgemental and condeming them. However, when you see a woman who betrays her husband, all the men are so quick to respond...
A. 13 May 2008: Lets be fair! The same applies from women to women. I have seen women bash men and comfort women when they've had an affair.
I think it has to do with understanding our own. Men understand men and women understand women. Our problem (both se... (read in full...)
I am now keen on his fantasy threesome, but I know I wont want him touching another girl, can this work?
Q. Ok so, the idea of a 3some turns me on. Thinking about being with another woman, and having my man have sex with me. Sometimes when I see 3somes on porn, I imagine me being one, my bf being the guy and whatever. My bf's ultimate fantasy...
A. 13 May 2008: Fantasies can have adverse affects on our pyshc. It isn't good if you do it allot, because you can loose touch with reality. Fantasies can be good in getting you horny, but the person your with should do thi, along with the thought f doing it with ... (read in full...)
Are there any men who can settle for hugs instead of sex?
Q. Okay this seems like a REALLY weird question, but...here goes. So I am really not into like, kissing or any of that stuff. I have thought about sex and come to the conclusion that I would like to remain a virgin and not ever have sex, for personal...
A. 13 May 2008: At your age, yes! When they hit there late teens and early twenties, because of all the media coverage; friends etc., they will want to experience it. Sex becomes less a factor when communication is good, you have activities that take up much of ... (read in full...)
Why did he give himself a handjob when he has me?
Q. i sleep with my defacto and thought i satisfied him sexually but the other morning very early he i think handjobed himself twice and now i feel i dont make him happy what does it mean when a guy gives himself a handjob when he has a live in ...
A. 13 May 2008: It is hard to say unless you know what is going through his head. The best thing you could do is talk to him about it.
As a man, I know I can have urges at different times of the day; not sure why. Doctors recommend at least 5 squirts a week to k... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 12 May 2008: I read a web site that stated it could appear 2-3 weeks after being infected. It is easily treated, and if not treated could cause infertility.
You can only get by oral; anal and intercourse which include more then one partner.
I'd say she may ... (read in full...)
He told me the all the other girls he's had sex with, even with out a condom, never got pregnant
Q. Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex ...
A. 12 May 2008: Your boyfriend is very immature, and has no risk if you end up getting pregnant. He isn't looking out for you, and in a way, is using you. Dump him, he isn't worthy of your love.... (read in full...)
I think I may have been date raped by my boss.
Q. I think I was date-raped. I ran in to my boss in a bar after I had already been drinking, and he offered to get me a drink. I asked for a vodka orange, but he asked me if I would prefer vodka redbull, and got me that instead. After that drink, I...
A. 12 May 2008: So besides waking up in his bed, what else did you notice about the scene, and yourself?... (read in full...)
Why are westeners so prejudice, ignorant Bible lovers?
Q. I grew up in one of the biggest cities in North America. I’ve accepted baseball and McDonalds, but what I can't accept are there BS " morals ". Whenever it comes to love, sex or any other issue people turn to the book of lies, distortion and gene...
A. 11 May 2008: Very interesting post. Just remember to play fair, and for the christens, to be more like Jesus: compassionate.... (read in full...)
I'm bi-curious. How do I meet girls other than online?
Q. hello im bicurious but i dont know how to meet girls i have no problem meeting guys but i would like to experiment and explore my sexuality so if anybody has some good tips on how to meet girls (except the internet) that would be great ...
A. 11 May 2008: I hope everyone has considered her age, and that normally, bars are limited to people over 21 years old.
There is no reason to experiment, either you are or your not. I suggest you maintain high grades in school, eventually, you will find some... (read in full...)
Advice on laser hair removal.
Q. can somebody please give me any advice? has anybody had laser hair removal? im considering it, but i am worried that it might not work-i know it is not permenant removal but it reduces the density of the hairs...has anybody had this done? what area? ...
A. 11 May 2008: The lighter skin (white) you have, no tan, I've heard it has a high success rate. It can be costly, and don't pay for a package deal ... you'll be ripped off.... (read in full...)
How can I make money to help out my mum and dad?
Q. The price for gas is going up, Food prices are going up, basically everything costs more! So, my mom and dad are getting low on money. But i'm a responsible and GROWING 13 year old [ha] and i'm tired of asking my mom and dad. Plus, summer is comi...
A. 11 May 2008: You can help by releaving the load around the house, such as do the cleaning, laundry. If you have a yard, maybe you can grow vegetables; tomatoes; carrots; cabbage; lettuce; broccoli. These are also expensive, and can help the family budget. But ... (read in full...)
How do I get better at small talk with strangers?
Q. As much as I try, when I meet new people have trouble making small talk. Part of it also relates to my confidence (nearly non-existent). What are some good topics that don't make me look overly friendly? And how do I generally improve my confiden...
A. 11 May 2008: Read the daily newspaper for a start.... (read in full...)
What sort of things will make a girl "horny"?
Q. My girlfriend claims she's never been "horny" which both kinda slaps me in the face and worries me. Firstly cause, we've done stuff (not sex or oral but stuff) and if none of its made her horny then i dunno what will. Can you help in that asp...
A. 11 May 2008: Maybe she senses your strong desire to put her on a pedestal so you can see a girl when she is horny. Your not desperate to see her horny are you? No one wants to be with someone who is desperate.... (read in full...)
She says she really likes me, but she loves that guy and says she can't get over him.
Q. Basically I've been having this on and off relationship with someone for 8 months now. The problem is she was/is in a long distance relationship with someone from another country that she only sees once a year. He was her first b/f, practica...
A. 11 May 2008: Typical immature woman. If you want to be played, then stay with her, otherwise, you might be better off if you moved on and found someone more worthy.... (read in full...)
She stole him from me and I don't plan on ever talking to her again. Am I over-reacting?
Q. Hey well ive been seeing this guy since august last year. and well basically my best friend has taken him of me. she liked some guy in her work he doesnt like her . She knows how much i like this guy and she pure hits on him and stuff infront of...
A. 11 May 2008: She isn't a friend. On the other hand, she may have done you a favor, because he only looks at the outside and not the inside of a person. There is more to looks and personality. Under certain conditions in life, you can find that a certain ... (read in full...)
How do you break up with a guy when you're just not sure why you want to do it?
Q. I really liked his guy and then when i started to date him I stopped he he done nothing wrong but I don't like him anymore and I have no clue why but I am going to break up with him cause I dont like him anymore how do I do it (break up with him) ...
A. 11 May 2008: Just be blunt with him, tell him you realize your not mature enough for a relationship, and it would be better for the two of you to move on from having a relationship.
If you flip flop in your feelings, your going to have problems in the futu... (read in full...)
She's acting a little differently than usual, and doesn't say I love you as much...Why is that?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles you see i have a question.I have this amazing girl! (she's 17 i'm 18) she is always says i love you but not as she used to say it idk maybe it's just me but she would always say to that she will call me but she forgets ...
A. 11 May 2008: I personally don't approve of making people jealous, and anyone doing that to me was dropped like a hot potato.
Your both young, and women at this age are usually not very mature.
Have you spoke to her about this? If not, your making one of the b... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on my older previous mentor, but she thinks it would be a conflict. Help!
Q. I am a 30 year old married women and I am hopelessly in love with a much older married woman (60) who used to me my mentor at work. I recently left my job because I thought it would be a conflict of interest if we ended up getting together. I don't ...
A. 11 May 2008: Your married and you have the hots for a woman? Why? It seems you need to look in the mirror and understand what your implying here. If you no longer have interest for the man you promised to be faithful to, then you need to start answering ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm turning into a horrible person
Q. i'm scared i'm turning into a horrible person, i keep being mean without the intension, like being nasty without me thinking about it. please help me stop! should i appologise? recently i have become a model for absolute and i'm scared it will go ...
A. 9 May 2008: You sound all stressed out, and this will work against you in being more lovable.
You need to meditate, so to speak. When you having a feeling that you don't like, then investigate this feeling, ask why you have this feeling, explore the reas... (read in full...)
I watch lesbian porn and masturbate. I hate myself. Is this normal?
Q. hi im 13 year old female and just recently started masturbating but i use a hairbrush and masturbate watching lesbian porn i no it sounds discusting and i want to stop because afterwards i feel so dirrty and hate myself for doing in i...
A. 9 May 2008: It isn't bad, and wathcing the same sex actually allows you to explore your own body on your own terms, which is good.
Hopefully you washed the hair brush before you used it ;)
What you might consider though, is understanding why you feel guilty. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has lied to me about her sexual history! I hate what she's done to herself but she says she's different now?
Q. I know this is not a new topic, I know this has been discussed over, and over... i know that some of you will say get over it, but I don't think I can... Or at least, not always. My problem is that my girl friend has been with more people than...
A. 9 May 2008: What your going through is normal for any human being, feeling like second best. You will go through multiple ups and downs in dealing with this ... this too is normal, what you brain is trying to do is sort it all out, what it means for you and ... (read in full...)
My husband offered me to his friend. Does he just want an open relationship?
Q. House party out of control. I am rather confused and upset. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for 3 with two young children. We used to have house parties all the time and my hubby would either not drink or drink very little, he was a...
A. 9 May 2008: I think he has serious issues, and he needs to recognize this and get help. I don't know what his past has been, but it seems it has affected him in a serious way: this isn't normal, at all!
The best you can do is to protect you and your chil... (read in full...)
My husband offered me to his friend. Does he just want an open relationship?
Q. House party out of control. I am rather confused and upset. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for 3 with two young children. We used to have house parties all the time and my hubby would either not drink or drink very little, he was a...
A. 9 May 2008: I would have to say his behavior is extremely odd, and maybe he has a serious issue.
Make it clear to him you do not accept this and will not submit to another man, and that if he continues, the marriage maybe ending (or something best appr... (read in full...)
Where did I go wrong? Why doesn't he respond?
Q. where did i go wrong? should i give him time or just move on? I recently start dating this guy, we get on really well. I felt that we know each other for sometime. We went for a drink then decide to go back to mine and watch a DVD. I suggeste...
A. 9 May 2008: I think you need to move on and not attempt to patch things up with him. Apparently he couldn't accept the no sex thing, and for you, your better off I think.
At your age, one would think this would have been a no brainer and easily acceptable ... ... (read in full...)
I wouldn't leave this teacher alone and now I want to apologize! How do I go about this?
Q. I am leaving school next week and before I go I want to put all my wrongs right and leave on go terms. Sounds good? Yet its going to be soo hard, there is a teacher who I used to get on with yet I had a thing for her n always have had! But she sta...
A. 9 May 2008: If you contact her, do it only by mail, not in person. Send her a letter and then leave it alone and move on.... (read in full...)
Unusual sperm fetish? I even swallow sperm from used condoms..
Q. Hi, I have an unusual fetish. My thing is that I really enjoy having a guy ejaculate in my mouth. My friends think I am mad but I love the taste of sperm and have always allowed a partner to do this for me. I have not had a boyfriend for ...
A. 9 May 2008: I wish I knew you when I were single.
Any ideas why you have this fetish? Have anything to do with missing a relationship? I've heard there is only 20 calories per squirt, so you won't have to worry about becoming overweight by it. But you do n... (read in full...)
Would you stick it out just for the kids?
Q. I am married 11 years with 2 kids. We have been living abroad for the past year. This is our first time away from fam/friends. He has made the move as he moved from another country to mine 15 years ago. Our relationship has never been passoinate ...
A. 9 May 2008: Why do you need to make a decision as to whether you need to be prepared to live the rest of your lives without affection towards one another?
Why not prepare yourself to work it out? Dig deep into the soul and find out what is there and what is m... (read in full...)
Should I believe him after he broke the promise the first time, about visiting lap dancing bars?
Q. Hi, My fiance is going out tommorow night to liverpool with a load of guys who want to go to a lap dancing bar, when I first got with my fiance I explained that I do not like these kind of things and he said he didnt like them either and promised...
A. 9 May 2008: Relationships are about trust, trust him, even if he does go into one that he won't do anything he will regret latter.
For the most part, these places are somewhat innocent that you don't have to worry about your guy either touching any body part... (read in full...)
How can I get more freckles without harming my skin?
Q. This is more of a question than needing advice, is there anything I can do to get more freckles?? weird I know but I get freckles in the sun and they look really cute.. how can I get more, without harming my skin?...
A. 9 May 2008: Experiement with sun tan lotion and the sun. Contact some of these sun tan lotion companies for advice on achieving this.
Thinking to myself on how you could do this would be suntan lotion; the sun; and a template placed over your face. ;)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has lied to me about her sexual history! I hate what she's done to herself but she says she's different now?
Q. I know this is not a new topic, I know this has been discussed over, and over... i know that some of you will say get over it, but I don't think I can... Or at least, not always. My problem is that my girl friend has been with more people than...
A. 9 May 2008: I think you need to cut her some slack. Women at this age maynot be so tuned in to their feelings, as she sounds. Don't bring up the subject, and when she begins to say something about this past, ask that the two of you not discuss it, because it ... (read in full...)
Would you stick it out just for the kids?
Q. I am married 11 years with 2 kids. We have been living abroad for the past year. This is our first time away from fam/friends. He has made the move as he moved from another country to mine 15 years ago. Our relationship has never been passoinate ...
A. 9 May 2008: Your becoming a failure already. You stated some key points in your response, and have left out many.
I suggest you both seek counseling together.
Sexual attraction needs to include a liking of the body of the opposite sex. If you don't find his... (read in full...)
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