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*exilou

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*exilou's profile:

Married to second husband with 3 children with a degree in sociology and psychology living in lincolnshire uk.

Latest articles:

40 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

25 July 2008: Sorry i dont need help just want to share!!! I have had a wonderful day!!!!...

< Prev23456789101112Next > [25 pages, 978 answers]

Laid my soul bare, told him I love him, he is not sure he loves me, should I continue in this relationship, when he doesn't love me back?

Q.   I told my boyfriend of a year and half that I loved him the other night. We have always got along very well and I thought he felt the same way too. But he replied that he doesn't know if he loves me or not. I don't really know what to make of it....

A.   4 August 2008: Wow its taken a whole 18 months for you to say I love you and after a whole 18 months he says he's not sure if he loves you????????? Why are you wasting your time with this guy!? x... (read in full...)

I am having a difficult time choosing between two men, I love, how do I make up my mind?

Q.   i have to choose between two men who i love but i am unsure which one to choose can anyone help with this ?...

A.   4 August 2008: Get rid of both and see which one you miss the most??!! Its very hard to comment with more detail x... (read in full...)

I am worried about a piercing I had done, does anyone know whether what I did is alright, please advise?

Q.   hi i had a auricle piercing its about an inch up from my lobe so quite low. i got it pierced at a professional tatoo, hairdressing and piercing place but pierced it with a piercing gun and have got a stud in it. i was wondering weather it shoul...

A.   4 August 2008: I had mine pierced through cartiledge with a gun and its fine, my daughter had hers done with a needle and its also fine!! If its not hurting you in any way then dont worry about it unless it gives you problems x... (read in full...)

Married to a gay man - do I stay with him for the sake of the children?

Q.   I am married with two children. Three years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with another man. He still lives at home and continues his relationship with this man. I don't have it in me to throw him out and get on with my life. I am ...

A.   4 August 2008: What about your happiness?? You deserve some too. Whilst it will be hard for the kids if he leaves your husband is living a lie and should be open and honest about his sexuality. What are you getting out of this relationship?? I think its time... (read in full...)

I'm 18, seeing a 16 year old... is it wrong?

Q.   I am 18 and i am seeing a 16 yr old he is 17 soon but my parents think this is wrong and make me look immature. i dont no what to do . we both really like each other. please help me . i cant let go of him . i need to no if i am in the wrong. ...

A.   4 August 2008: My friend started dating her boyfriend when he was 16 and she was 19. They used to get the same bus everyday and she thought he was gorgeous. She thought he was her age but by then found he was younger, she didnt care even though she got a lot of ... (read in full...)

This guy I know online calls me 2-4 times a day! How do I get him to go away?

Q.   Well there's this 17 year old guy who i've been regretably chatting to online, he lives local and is insanely obsessed with me! He knows my phone number and often rings (between 2 - 4 times per day) but i never answer as i don't want to encourage ...

A.   4 August 2008: You have to be more honest with him. You have sent him mixed messages, I think thats because you are a nice person and dont like to hurt anyone. Ive been in this situation several times and it is hard but you have to be firm, polite and honest. ... (read in full...)

How can I stop the pain I feel because of my body issues? Girls in movies and magazines make me feel inadequate.

Q.   What can I do to stop the hurt of body issues? Last night I was with my boyfriend watching one of these silly comedies, you know, a la American Pie. It wasn't Amreican Pie, but it was that style. You know, it wasn't even pornographic - but t...

A.   4 August 2008: The movies arent real life and lots of these girls starve themselves, have personal trainers and obsess about their bodies non-stop. They may look good on screen but in person they are probably not all that nice as people. Of course there will ... (read in full...)

Are women put off by skinny guys?

Q.   Are women put off dating skinny guys? Is the build and muscles of a man overly important for a woman?...

A.   4 August 2008: I think it depends on the personality too. My first hubbie was very slim but my current husband is a big bloke and its not all muscle!! My sister's ex hubbie was a real big muscly guy but the last two she has dated have been really skinny, alth... (read in full...)

How can I win back someone who is now married to some else?

Q.   How can I win back someone who is now married to some else?...

A.   4 August 2008: Why do you want to? You will be splitting them up and causing heartache. I understand there is probably more to the story but my advice is to leave well alone, If he is not happy with the person he married leave him to figure it out alone, if it ... (read in full...)

She's a virgin and we can't have sex because it hurts her too much. Any tips?

Q.   Alright, so me and my girlfriend are getting hot and bothered and ready to have sex, catch is, she's a virgin. So I try to be gentle and all, because I hear it's sometimes really painful. I try, she says "OW!" really loud and I stop because I don't ...

A.   4 August 2008: It shouldnt hurt that much, Maybe she is just really scared and tensing up or she has a very low pain threshold. Most girls of her age have already broken their hymen through sports, using tampons etc as it is a very thin piece of tissue covering ... (read in full...)

She's back; a royal pain in my butt...and I can't shake it!

Q.   Lately, I've been sort of dating a woman who I used to date a couple of years ago, but it didn't work out. In fact, she proved to be one of the worst dates I've ever had. So why are we together again? Well, it's a matter of she's my best f...

A.   4 August 2008: So tell her!!! ... (read in full...)

During the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. Why? Doesn't she find me attractive?

Q.   Hi, my problem is that during the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. I asked her why this is happening and she said she doesn't know. She says it isn't me.... but if it is then i doubt she would tell me. Its kind of awkward,...

A.   3 August 2008: Excuse my terrible spelling on that answer, i blame the wine!... (read in full...)

Back with my ex after a year apart, is it wise to get myself tested?

Q.   Hi, I just got back in touch with an ex and we are back together. Do you think he should get tested before i sleep with him, as i haven't seen him for a year?...

A.   3 August 2008: Well to be honest you should be using condoms with a new partner for a while and you have to treat him as a new partner again. yes it is probably a good idea to pop to your local sexual health centre and get overhauled!! x... (read in full...)

I fingered her after having touched my penis, could she get pregnant?

Q.   Hi im 18 and unexperienced, yesterday when i was with my girlfriend fooling around i came all over the place and she's worried some might´ve gotten into her vagina, can she get pregnant if it did??? [Added from the same user] hi, can a girl get preg...

A.   3 August 2008: It is probably very very unlikely but not impossible. Just let this be a lesson to you as Danielepew says and learn from it. Next time get a condom even if you are not planning penetrative sex x... (read in full...)

Should I worry that he's always going on about his ex?

Q.   well i have been seeing this guy for a while now and we flirt alot..but sometimes when i am talkin to him, he talks about his ex. this has not happened once or twice but quite a few times. he seems happy with me but he really loved his ex, he had ...

A.   3 August 2008: No I think its normal. I talk about my ex husband a lot apparantly but that is because I have known him for 25 years and he was a huge part of my life and the father of two of my children. I ended the relationship and have never once wished I ... (read in full...)

Husband says he feels "smothered" and does not know what he wants. Should I stick around to see what he decides?

Q.   I have been married for a little over two years. It has been rocky, but I have been committed and trying to do all I can to make the marriage work. Anyway, a few months ago, my husband simply decided he didn't want to be married anymore, which of...

A.   3 August 2008: No i actually suggest you take a break and look long and hard at your relationship. You say it has always been rocky, you have tried your hardest and yet your husband is still not happy. Maybe it is time to move on and try it alone for a while. ... (read in full...)

The break up came as a surprise as I don't know of his motives. Please help me understand and get over this kick.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have just split up out of the blue after 7 months together. I say it came as a surprise but it shouldn't have done really. The past couple of months he hasn't wanted to touch me and has pushed me away if I have gone to hug him ...

A.   3 August 2008: I dont normally assume that men are cheating but this is so similar to a relationship I had and he WAS cheating. We had our first row after 7 months or so because he was always at my house not his, spending all my money and not contribu... (read in full...)

I always have erections when I'm near my (first) girlfriend, should I be worried?

Q.   I'm new to tis gf and bf thing I just got a first girlfriend about a week ago and it was thnx to advice from this site but now i have a problem i get really hard around her a lot of time i have to litterarly stop what im doing and think about some...

A.   3 August 2008: You obviously find her attractive, physically and mentally. My hubbie has this problem with me even after 5 years together I only have to look at him in a certain way or give him a cuddle and he has wood!! I find it quite sweet, he's 37 and cant ... (read in full...)

During the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. Why? Doesn't she find me attractive?

Q.   Hi, my problem is that during the past week or so, my girlfriend becomes dry during sex. I asked her why this is happening and she said she doesn't know. She says it isn't me.... but if it is then i doubt she would tell me. Its kind of awkward,...

A.   3 August 2008: It maybe that she is due her period women often get dryer at different times of the month. Sometimes I dont get wet quickly but other times its the opposite problem. DOnt take it personally x... (read in full...)

I fooled around just yesterday with my girlfriend and don't remember how "careful" we were. Should we take the emergency pill?

Q.   Hi, yesterday i fooled around with my girlfriend and she doesnt remember if some pre cum landed on her vagina, what do you recomend to do???? please please help i believe im still on time for an emergency pill...

A.   3 August 2008: I think you can take it 72 hours after the event but obviously the sooner the better. If it landed on her vagina and not in it you should be ok but its worth getting her to take it anyway and be more careful next time! x... (read in full...)

I will not tell her how I feel because I cannot hurt the friendship or her husband; feeling depressed, how do I fall out of love with her?

Q.   im in love with a woman who is 30 years older than me and i need to fall out of love with her. i have worked with her for 5 years and have become very close to her, she is married and her husband is like a father to me and always looking out for ...

A.   3 August 2008: You know it would be wrong to ever tell her your feelings as you dont want to break them up or lose either one of them as friends. The best thing you can do is try and meet some girls of your own age either just as friends or eventually leading ... (read in full...)

I know it's said that size is not important but how you use "it", so can you give me a pointer or two of what this actually means?

Q.   I am 20 years old and i am a VIRGIN!!! I know pathetic right. Well anyways I have met this girl and we have been seeing each other for almost 6 monthes and she is starting to pressure me about sex. Everytime we start to do it I get scared and freeze ...

A.   3 August 2008: Well its tricky to answer because not all women like the same thing. I hate what i call schoolboy sex where the man bangs away as fast as he can until he gets somewhere. I like it slower and long strokes mixed with fast strokes. All you can do is ... (read in full...)

Is he entitled to know who I was talking to?

Q.   If a guy you are dating calls you when you are already on the other line and you ask him if you can call him right back, is it okay for him to ask you who you are talking to that is more important than him?...

A.   3 August 2008: He is being a little childish really, is he a bit jealous that you may be talking to another guy?? There is nothing wrong in asking who it is, my husband always tells me who he was talking to or asks me if Im on the phone who it is. Not because we ... (read in full...)

My aunt married his uncle, so we are not blood cousins. Should we feel awkward about dating?

Q.   I recently met a man that I like a lot. I believe we are cousins through marriage only. My aunt (my moms sister) married his uncle (His moms brother). There is no blood connection. Should we feel awkward about dating?...

A.   3 August 2008: No not at all you are not related by blood in any way so go for it x... (read in full...)

Should I accept that he sleeps with other girls -What Does he Mean By I want "more"?

Q.   Recently having met a new man he seems fairly interested BUT he says he doesnt want a relationship and he has also said he "fears" I want "more" because he mentioned someone he was flirting with and I said it wasnt nice when he had invited me out ...

A.   3 August 2008: Your comment makes me think you have been treated badly many times. Not all guys are the same, it took me to 36 years old to realise that and find the right one. You can do so much better than this guy x... (read in full...)

My fiance's grieving is hurting our relationship. Is it normal?

Q.   Hello all, My fiance's dad past away two weeks ago. I have never been through the death of a loved one meanless to say I have no references to help her out. We live in Florida and her dad past away where he lived in California. We flew the...

A.   3 August 2008: It will take her a long time to come to terms with this and she may feel really bad for a long time. You have to be patient with her and just let things go for a while. My nanna died 6 weeks before I gave birth to my first child. After a few mont... (read in full...)

I've recnetly got together with the girl of my dreams, but I'm worried about my inexperience in bed.

Q.   I've (very) recently got together with the absolute girl of my dreams. I thought this would make me happy, but the fact is that sex is a problem. She's very experienced, while the last time I was with a girl was well over two years ago. In fact, ...

A.   3 August 2008: Tell her you are a little nervous as you are inexperienced. Just take it slow, DONT drink a lot of alcohol beforehand and remember that things get better with practice. This other girl sounds like a total loser. We often have different things we l... (read in full...)

This guy is pressuring me to take my clothes off....what do I do??

Q.   Ive been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now and he keeps trying to pressure me into taking my clothes off. I keep saying no because Im not comfortable with that yet as its too soon. But I do like him. Anyway, today he said something to me ...

A.   3 August 2008: Dump him he is not worth the hassle. A decent guy would wait until you are ready. Are you quite young?? This sounds like the sort of thing a young guy would say to his girlfriend, that Jessica ALba would do it for her bf. Next he'll be saying if ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure if my patrner is serious about me. He also smokes, drinks and does drugs. Should I break up with him?

Q.   I have been with my partner for over two years. He is sixteen years old than me and has two children, the youngest of whom is fifteen. He says‘I don’t do marriage’, and that he will never marry me. He refuses to meet my family [I only see them a few ...

A.   3 August 2008: If he isnt willing to change then how do you see your future with this guy? Will he still be sat there in 10-15 years time smoking cannabis, drinking, doing nothing and going nowhere. Is that really how you see or want your future to be?? I thin... (read in full...)

Should I accept that he sleeps with other girls -What Does he Mean By I want "more"?

Q.   Recently having met a new man he seems fairly interested BUT he says he doesnt want a relationship and he has also said he "fears" I want "more" because he mentioned someone he was flirting with and I said it wasnt nice when he had invited me out ...

A.   3 August 2008: Move on!! When guys say they dont want a relationship they rarely change their minds. Why should he settle down with one when he can sleep with lots of women! That's obviously his mentality and thats his choice but you are worth so much more. H... (read in full...)

I'm 21 weeks pregnant, but everything is going down hill with the father. Should I try and make it work for the baby?

Q.   Im 21 weeks pregnant and still with the father of the baby. we have been dating for just under a year now and everything just feels like its going down hill. he is alot older then me therefore he should be more responsible than i am about this. all ...

A.   3 August 2008: Having two parents who fight and dont get on is not a good environment for a child so dont stay together for the baby's sake. Tell him the truth and see if you can get the relationship back on track before you give up on him altogether x... (read in full...)

I've had enough with my abusive boyfriend of six years. What should I do?

Q.   I am still with my boyfreind after 6 years..however I still have not met his parents, he has been abusive towards me and I have seen a girl come out of his house twice he says she come to get somthing but I dont beleive that. He doesnt work and I ...

A.   3 August 2008: It isnt easy to leave this kind of relationship but once you do you wish you had done it sooner. It's time to tell him you have had enough and that its over, if he is betraying you and abusing you now it will only get worse x... (read in full...)

I love someone else and am scared I will lose her if I don't act quick (I'm unhappily married)

Q.   I have been married for about 11 years and not satisfied or happy. Pretty lonely actually. My wife has no desire to do anything, including sex which we may have had 2 or 3 times in the last 3 years. I feel like I have to drag her along and we ...

A.   3 August 2008: I think you are very unhappy and have to do something about it. If you want to make the marriage work then tell your wife that things need to change and she has to start putting the effort in. If you have tried and cant do anymore then leave he... (read in full...)

She's back; a royal pain in my butt...and I can't shake it!

Q.   Lately, I've been sort of dating a woman who I used to date a couple of years ago, but it didn't work out. In fact, she proved to be one of the worst dates I've ever had. So why are we together again? Well, it's a matter of she's my best f...

A.   3 August 2008: You cant be expected to date someone just because she is related to your best friend in some way. You need to be stronger about this and just end it with her. You do not have to justify anything to your friend. Do you pick his girlfriends for ... (read in full...)

Will having sex with my new man hurt?

Q.   I have been seeing my new man for a while now and im ready to have sex with him but im worried that it will hurt. I have only ever slept with one other man and he was much smaller in the trousers department than my new man. my old bf was about...

A.   2 August 2008: You will be surprised at how much nicer it feels than a smaller one!! It wont hurt, you may be tense as its been a while just make sure you have lots of foreplay first to get in the mood. Ive had them all sizes, teeeny tiny to nice big fat juicy ... (read in full...)

Catastrophic phone sex. Does she hate me? Have I messed up?

Q.   I have just come off the phone with my girlfriend after an unsuccessful phone sex session. I feel really bad as she was really horny and I didn’t know what to say as I’ve never had phone sex before. (or real sex for that matter) When I said ...

A.   2 August 2008: No she is just highly embarrassed!!!! im not that good at it either but have managed it when hubbie worked away. I just pretended to be someone else and said what I thought he would like to hear. I think I probably had several glasses of wine ... (read in full...)

How can I explain my church to my parents - they say it's evil!

Q.   hi i am an apostolic christian and my parents dont understand about this type of church. the fact we call on the holy ghost ect, we have tried to explain to her about the holy ghost and that i might speak in toungues but she thinks its evil and wont ...

A.   2 August 2008: I agree wait until you are old enough to go to church without their permission but practice your religion privately for now. Religion is scary to non believers and your mom is just worried about you getting into something she really doesnt ... (read in full...)

Sex is terribly painful.... please tell me why?

Q.   Hello all, I have a problem which has been getting me so, so down. I started sleeping with my boyfriend about a year ago and it's been agonisingly painful every single time. It's got to the point now where I'm brought to tears and really can't do ...

A.   2 August 2008: Excuse my spelling should have read endometritis x... (read in full...)

It's a big risk financially to finish my degree, will it be worth it?

Q.   I'd just like some "life advice" please aunties. I have just finished my second year at Uni, and am due to start my third in September. However, I have lost interest in a large part my course (it wasn't really what I was expecting) and d...

A.   2 August 2008: I nearly gave up half way through my degree too but stuck it out and came out with a 2:1. I got married moved house and had a baby in my final year ( I was an older student!!). I am so glad I didnt give up and in hindsight I wish I had done it ... (read in full...)

Sex is terribly painful.... please tell me why?

Q.   Hello all, I have a problem which has been getting me so, so down. I started sleeping with my boyfriend about a year ago and it's been agonisingly painful every single time. It's got to the point now where I'm brought to tears and really can't do ...

A.   2 August 2008: If the pain is in your tummy area sort of above your vagina then go to back to your docs it might be endomertitis. If it is in your vagina then still go to the docs as there maybe some problem. Dont take no for an answer and ask for a second ... (read in full...)

I need a way to look older. It's ridiculous everyone who sees me thinks I'm between 12 and 14

Q.   So in the past year or so i have been constintaly mistaken as a being between the ages of 12 and 14. I am now 18 and about to start college. I find this so frustrating because i am convinced that this is keeping guys from talking to me. I sometimes ...

A.   2 August 2008: I have to say having really long hair will make you appear younger but dont go from really really long to a bob. you will hate it. Have it cut to about just around where your bra is first. See how you like that and then go gradually shorter, ... (read in full...)

I need a way to look older. It's ridiculous everyone who sees me thinks I'm between 12 and 14

Q.   So in the past year or so i have been constintaly mistaken as a being between the ages of 12 and 14. I am now 18 and about to start college. I find this so frustrating because i am convinced that this is keeping guys from talking to me. I sometimes ...

A.   2 August 2008: Take advantage of it and eat for half price. Seriously you may complain now but wait until you are older and everyone is shocked when you reveal your true age!! I turned 40 last week and in the local pub my hubbie went for a wee and a young lad ... (read in full...)

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