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*exilou

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*exilou's profile:

Married to second husband with 3 children with a degree in sociology and psychology living in lincolnshire uk.

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40 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

25 July 2008: Sorry i dont need help just want to share!!! I have had a wonderful day!!!!...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [25 pages, 978 answers]

I need some help with my bikini shopping!

Q.   This might sound like a very stupid question but I'm actually stuck. I went shopping today for a bikini (I'm a happy size 14) but when I tried the bottoms on they were slightly tight, are bikini's meant to be like this or is it when they get we...

A.   12 September 2008: I too lost 2 stone before my holiday so well done. The bottoms go a bit saggy when you get out of the water but dont shrink. Dont feel embarrased asking for a bigger size its about what you are comfy with. Freya do great bikinis in mix and match ... (read in full...)

I didn't mean to make him cum!

Q.   I stayed at my mom's friends house, while my parents left town. Her son, whom is 24, has always picked on me, and He was tackling me and tickling me on the bed, so I rolled over ontop of him, and started tickling him, he moaned my name after a few ...

A.   12 September 2008: He's embarrassed that he came so easily. Just ignore it, dont mention it again and be nice to him when you see him. I dated a guy who ejaculated into his pants when I put my legs up on his knee but he was a lot older then your friend. I didnt ... (read in full...)

They'll only be able to see each other every other weekend, can this work?

Q.   Hi just a quick question about distant relationships, iv got a friend who has met a really amazing girl who lives about 1 hours 30mins drive away, and they see each other like every other weekend, will this work? and can they work if any one is in ...

A.   12 September 2008: When my husband and I first met we only saw each other fri night to sun night for 3 years as he worked all over the country. 5 years later still going strong although he has been working closer to home since jan 2007. It was hard but boy was it ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and my husband doesn't want sex with me. I feel so unwanted!

Q.   i was wondering if anyone could help me out. i am 3 months pregnant and my husband wont have sex with me. he has never had a problem with it with my other pregnancies. but 8 months ago i had a miscarriage and i dont know if that would be the reason ...

A.   12 September 2008: He is scared that if he penetrates you he will hurt the baby this is a normal response to previous miscarriage for some men even though you feel he is being irrational. Maybe he hasnt come to terms with his grief as it would have been a very hard ... (read in full...)

Am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents?

Q.   Okay I need your help. In light of the terrible crimes in uk recently regarding knife attacks, am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents? My son (middle child) is 14 and not what i would call streetwi...

A.   12 September 2008: I didnt take it as criticism, it was a very good answer, thank you. I think I will lift the grounding for the second week and say Im am doing it because he did do the right thing, I will admit that its was his subsequent behaviour towards us that... (read in full...)

Am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents?

Q.   Okay I need your help. In light of the terrible crimes in uk recently regarding knife attacks, am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents? My son (middle child) is 14 and not what i would call streetwi...

A.   11 September 2008: Thanks guys, I know he did the right thing and Ive only punished him because he insisted that he would be okay to go back to that area and refused to accept that it was out of bounds. I AM overprotective with him because he was my 'baby' for ten ... (read in full...)

Will quitting smoking give you symptoms that mimic pregnancy?

Q.   my husband had a vesectomy nine years ago,im 38 and missed two periods,i feel tired all the time,moody ,and irate all the time,i have put on weight quite a bit,but i am also stopping smokig[week 5]is it possible im pregnant or am i confusing it with ...

A.   11 September 2008: Well the stopping smoking would make you moody, irate and gain weight but I doubt it would make you miss a period. I gained 2 stone in 8 weeks when I stopped (was painfully thin before) so it can go on quite quick. Why not pop to your doctors and ... (read in full...)

I love him dearly, but I can't deal with his parents!

Q.   my boyfriend and i are 19 years old and have been seeing each other for 4 years and known each other 6. i love him so much words cant even explain but i cant stand his parents. they treat him and myself with no respect but expect us to bow down to ...

A.   10 September 2008: What you have to remember is that if you progress through this relationship you will have your own home and maybe children too one day. You will see a lot less of his parents then and will have more control over the time you spend with them. Grin ... (read in full...)

My period is late and I'm scared. Help please!

Q.   Please help me. Im 15, 16 in early november and I recently had sex for the first time. Now I have done it around 3 or 4 times, but my boyfriend only came twice out of those times. Of course we used condoms each time, and at the end he said he ...

A.   10 September 2008: Its still early days and if you are not regular then it could just be that you are late this month. You are in uk so your doctor may have a family planning clinic session or there should be a seperate clinic available in your area. Look in the ... (read in full...)

He says he misses me, but I always feel like I come second fiddle. I don't understand!

Q.   so this problem I had since last week continues. I just want to know what others think regarding this situation. So to summarize relationship between me and him, we first met at a party early this year in the east coast, where he lives. I am in the ...

A.   10 September 2008: He doesnt see you two as being in a reltionship, it seems to me that he just wants to hang out later for sex? He is either in a relationship with someone else or just doesnt want one at the moment. The fact that he wont introduce you to his ... (read in full...)

I believe this much older guy will only use my friend!

Q.   Hi all. Just a curious question. I have a friend whos 20 dating a 42 year old man with a 15 year old kid.......am i wrong for thinking he's a freak? And now she ses she has feelings for him! Its like dude where do u think this is gonna go? I tell ...

A.   10 September 2008: If its meant to be it will last, if it isnt it wont its that simple. Age doesnt always matter, and 42 isnt OLD, im only 40 , dont look it and apart from having a bigger mortgage, more responsibility, 3 kids, a wonderful husband and a bit more ... (read in full...)

Am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents?

Q.   Okay I need your help. In light of the terrible crimes in uk recently regarding knife attacks, am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents? My son (middle child) is 14 and not what i would call streetwi...

A.   10 September 2008: Re the lack of nswers - Yes me too!!! Its always hard to give all the facts and I often reply and then someone puts more info in and you think, well why didnt you say that in the first place. Thanks for answering. I found a solution last nigh... (read in full...)

Hubby complains that I am not active during sex! What can I do?

Q.   My husband of 5 years and I have a good sex life. BUT, he complains that i don't ever do anything during sex. He just gives me my oral and he gets on top then we're done. Honestly, I feel like I put some motion in it, but, he says "i love it, I just ...

A.   9 September 2008: It sounds to me that you are stuck in a rut sexually. You need to change the routine. Try making the first move and skip the oral, ask him to give you a massage instead kiss and nibble you from the top of your neck right down to the ankles, not ... (read in full...)

Am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents?

Q.   Okay I need your help. In light of the terrible crimes in uk recently regarding knife attacks, am I being a paranoid, controlling mum or am I right to contact his friend's parents? My son (middle child) is 14 and not what i would call streetwi...

A.   9 September 2008: For one Im not a lone parent and two I didnt blow my top he did, I actually stayed very calm and listened to the full story first. He was the one who exploded and ranted and raved and changed his story. I am proud of him for walking away, and I ... (read in full...)

My breasts have been hurting since we had sex, is that a sign of pregnancy?

Q.   me and my boyfriend had sex three days ago, and he injected in me three times, today my breasts have been hurting a little but not much. Is that a sign of pregnancy? somebody please help me....

A.   9 September 2008: It can be a sign of pregnancy but you also can have tender breasts when your period is due x... (read in full...)

How can I tell my wife that we need to separate?

Q.   hmm well i hope you can help ! iv been with my partner of 10 yrs now im 27 and she is 44 ,we have a son who is three and we love him to bits . unfortunately our relationship is very stale and even tho we laugh together and go out together as a ...

A.   8 September 2008: I think you just have to be honest with her. You have outgrown each other but it will only be a split on mutual terms if she wants it too. She may be feeling the same and sigh a huge sigh of relief or she may take this quite badly being the older ... (read in full...)

Is he telling the truth? Should I trust him? He refused to let me see the cell phone bill!

Q.   My husband of 5 years had an affair while I was out of the country for 2 weeks. He said it was over(after 3months). I asked to see the cell phone bill. He refused and I needed to trust him. He gets so angry when I ask. Is he telling me the truth. ...

A.   8 September 2008: I agree if he had nothing to hide he would go out of his way to show you the phone bill. How can you trust him if he wont let you even look. I think you need to confront him about this and tell him you really need to talk x ... (read in full...)

Should I worry that we have sex all the time?

Q.   Me and my fiance have sex all the time. We love eachother and would die for one another, what we have is something special. We werent always like this. I was afraid to kiss her for the first 3 months we dated and after that i was terrified of sexual ...

A.   8 September 2008: Its quite normal to be at it like rabbits when you first start dating. the more sex you have the more chemicals that your release this helps you fall in love and makes you want even more sex. Usually things start to slow down a bit but varies ... (read in full...)

Everytime we come close to have sex, I can't, it hurts too much. What can I do about this?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been happily dating for over 2 and a half years (our third will be February 1st of next year) and we are totally committed to each other. We just got our own place and things are pretty good. However, there's just one ...

A.   8 September 2008: Its probably vaginismus where your vaginal muscles tense up when penetration occurs, its usually psychological so go see you doctor and get help for this condition. It happens to lots of women so dont get embarrassed your doctor will have seen lots ... (read in full...)

Is it ok if an eight-year-old masturbates?

Q.   I been babysitting all my life since i was 16. I baby sit this 8 yr old girl she's Always wanting Privacy. One Day I was Baby sitting Just her cause the other went to spend the night with grandparents. well One Day i was down stairs Doing some ...

A.   8 September 2008: Perfectly normal, as long as she knows to do it in private then it isnt even something you need to discuss with anyone. One of my earliest memories is being caught by my mum she taught me it was ok in the privacy of my own room but not in public ... (read in full...)

When a man is aroused by a sex scene in movies or porn, is it due to the beauty of the woman or the act of sex?

Q.   When a man is aroused by a sex scene in a movie or a porno, is it because of the amazing beauty of the individual woman or the act of sex itself? Thanks....

A.   8 September 2008: Often both, if you watch a sex scene with two really ugly people you may think yuuuk! Its normal to be aroused by sex on tv me and hubbie have often watched something with a particularly powerful sex scene and then jumped on each other x... (read in full...)

Can having sex weeks before your period make your period late?

Q.   i want to know if you have sex a few weeks before your period can it cause you to come n your period late ? if so, how late ...

A.   8 September 2008: Having sex two weeks before your period is around the best time to get pregnant so do a test even if it was protected sex. If you havent been having periods all that long however it may just be you are not in a regular cycle yet and it is nothng to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is too "shy" to call or initiate contact...any ideas?

Q.   I've been dating a woman for a few months, and lately we've had to spend some time apart, I've realized that she generally waits for me to initiate any communication. I understand that she loves me...or has said so- she come to visit from a great ...

A.   8 September 2008: She may be playing it cool. Some men get put off by needy women who call all the time, and I have deliberatly not contacted men because I wanted them to enjoy the chase, its worked every time. Or she could just be generally shy, talk to her about ... (read in full...)

He says he doesn't do oral sex - is he lying or is it something else?

Q.   I am hooking up with a guy who does not perform oral sex. He says it is reserved for his wife-to-be or if he is drunk. He has done it before, but not to me. He says it is a cultural thing for him, that the boys he grew up with are all the same. ...

A.   8 September 2008: It could just be he doesnt like it. I have only let a few people in that area for two reasons. One was to do with a very bad sexual experience when I was younger, it would be called date rape now, and another reason for me is that I dont think ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to 'snog' - any advice?

Q.   Oke so i am 15 neally 16 and i dont know how to snog. Girls keep asking me out and i say no then ma m8s say why did you say no she is hot so i gotta keep makin excuses. Can sum ppl give me some advice on how to snog?Would love to have a gf to send ...

A.   8 September 2008: It does kind of come naturally once you start but its hard to describe really!! I would advice no tongues at your age not everyone likes it, a quick flit across their lips might be okay occasionally but dont stick it down her throat. Keep it ... (read in full...)

Do guys like curly hair, or should I straighten it?

Q.   ok.. so i have pretty long hair. it goes down to my ribs. my hair is naturally very, very curly! usually i just scrunch my hair and work with my curls.. but lately like halfway through the school day, my hair gets very frizzy. it bugs me alot. i ...

A.   8 September 2008: All guys like different things. Try a product to ease the frizz after you have washed it to see if that helps but I would do what you are doing now, straighten it occasionally so you have a different look every now and then. Another alternative is ... (read in full...)

His ex wife won't let me see my step daughter...what can I do?

Q.   My husband's ex-wife won't let me see my step daughter when he leaves for boot camp (army) what can I do about it?...

A.   8 September 2008: You could try talking to her one to one but she may not want to talk to you. I suppose it depends on the circumstances. If you two got together whilst he was still with his ex then that could explain her actions. If not it could be that she is ... (read in full...)

Is alcoholism hereditary?

Q.   last year i sent a question in about my dad being sick, well he died. im going through a stage of being terrified im going to turn out like him. he was an alcoholic. iv looked it up and it says that it is genetic. am i going to turn out ...

A.   6 September 2008: First of all Im sorry about you father, it cant have been an easy time for you. Its more about being genetically predisposed to having an 'addictive' personality. But it is influenced by envronmental factors which shape you throughout your lif... (read in full...)

Cosmo says sex should last 45 minutes. What do you do all that time?

Q.   Hi I have a question about sex. Basically, I just read in cosmopolitan that 34% of a poll of men thought the best length of time to spend having sex was 45 minutes. As a virgin, I was just wondering how you have sex for a length of tim eth...

A.   5 September 2008: No that would include foreplay too. God if a man banged away for that length of time you would be seriously sore! The actual act probably lasts 10-15 mins on average x ... (read in full...)

I'm disabled and can't date. Is it wrong to pay for sex?

Q.   Im disabled for 3 years now, is it wrong to pay for sex ive never had to resort to this but now because of my disability i cant get out to meet women so i feel that is the only answer...

A.   5 September 2008: Well you could try internet dating or try looking harder. Strangely enough this conversation came up earlier with me and my husband as he was talking about a job he is doing for a guy who relies on a wheelchair when I realised it was a guy I used ... (read in full...)

Can you help me figure out my conception date?

Q.   If my last period was on November 20-29th(not sure the exact day) and i gave birth on August 19th to twin girls both weighing 6pds, could i have conceived on December 15th? I know i need to get a DNA test between 2 men. I was with one guy for the ...

A.   5 September 2008: Twins usually come early so you cant really use their birth as a guid. It sounds more likely to me you conceived by the earlier guy as women tend to ovulate around day 14 of their cycle counting day one as the first day of your period. And the ... (read in full...)

I'm 42 and I may be pregnant and don't want to be! What are my options?

Q.   I'm 42 and think I may be pregnant. Don't want to be! I already have 2 older kids and this was just a slip up. Apparently the chances of fertility decreasing over 40 didn't apply to me. I want to get the abortion pill but it costs over $400 and a ...

A.   4 September 2008: Before I comment please note I am not anti-abortion or being judgmental just trying to be objective. You were not solely responsible it took two to make this baby. Carefully weigh up your options, could you forgive yourself easily if you had a te... (read in full...)

Does she have a personality disorder?

Q.   i'm confused about a personality issue. A couple I know is getting divorced. He pretty much can convince her of anything. He told her not to get a lawyer, not to tell her friend and family until after the agreement was made and signed and she does ...

A.   4 September 2008: i wouldnt call it a personality disorder more of a personality trait, i.e. submissive, introverted etc. She obviously is used to him running her life and he may have even been physically or mentally abusive towards her, certainly controlling at the ... (read in full...)

How do I make him give me the commitment I'm looking for?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. In the time that I have known him he has lived with his dad and he is far too old to be doing that. I lived with him there for a while and have my own place now, but how do I convince him he needs to ...

A.   4 September 2008: Then maybe hes not the right guy for you. Why do you want him to move out of his dad's already, you are fairly young I assume he is around the same age?? Its normal for girls to want to leave as soon as they can but boys actually tend to stick ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I'm a sex addict because I want him to go down on me?!

Q.   hi there i have a peculiar problem..my boyfriend doesnt want to go down on me..he makes me do it to him... he says hes never done it to another girl..though hes had sex a lot...i cant understand..he thinks im a sex addict..theres nothing wrong wi...

A.   4 September 2008: Stop going down on him, tell him its a 2 way thing and if he is not even prepared to try it then you aint gonna do it either!! You need to talk to him about this too and find out what he is scared of x... (read in full...)

Question about my height?

Q.   Hi i have just turned 15 years old and my peers tower over me at average of 5'9, i am 5'5 and am around girl height at my school. My question is will i still grow to at least 5'9 (My dads height). Thanks...

A.   4 September 2008: You will probably still grow, its hard to know what height you will get to but boys tend to keep growing until around 20 and girls usually stop at 18. I keep wondering the same about my son who is 14 and 5ft 5. His dad is 6ft 1 but Im only 5ft 3 ... (read in full...)

Will he change as he gets older and seek a younger chic?

Q.   Hi guys I am a lady of 35 and dating a 23 yr old MAN. my friends have a serious problem with this and keep on telling me that he is just going on a ride with me. What they do not know is the fact that I am HAPPY. I was married to a 37 year old ma...

A.   4 September 2008: Maybe your friends are a little jealous that you are not stuck in a rut but are enjoying a new life with a younger man. I personally think each relationship is individual, I know of a bloke who married his mother's best friend when he was 23 and ... (read in full...)

I need help coming up with some romantic ideas!

Q.   Hi, I was just wondering if any one knew or could think of any romantic ideas for me and my partner. My partner has been away for two weeks and would like to do something romantic on his return. Thanking you in advance x...

A.   4 September 2008: Leave a trail of flower petals around the house and leave little love notes where he can find them. Start off with nice things about how much you love him, missed him etc, photos and 'remember this moment' notes, lead him to the bedroom with the ... (read in full...)

This stunning girl I met at a club is only 17! Is this okay?

Q.   I met a girl in a club few weeks ago and we hit it off really well im 25 and was surprised when this stunner started talking to me. We had a lot in common and she told me she was 19 and at uni! We exchanged numbers and then since then we ha...

A.   4 September 2008: Even though most girls mature before boys, 17 is still quite young. My daughter is 17 next year and I cant imagine what a 25 year old would have in common with her, apart from the obvious. You may find that you have different interests, that your ... (read in full...)

Should I be angry or have mercy? My dad cheated on my mom.

Q.   hey i dont know whats right anymore! ok so my father cheated on my mom... and then he is still living in our home but he is being insulted by my other relatives and others are saying he is a shame to our family...a part of me feels sorry for him i ...

A.   4 September 2008: Its very hard to know why he did this and sometimes there are reasons for this to happen that you may be to young for your parents to discuss with you. At the end of the day he is still your dad and still loves you. If he is living at home and is ... (read in full...)

Beard or Sheared?

Q.   I am trying to get close to girl at the moment and am hoping to make a move over the few times we go out but i am wondering if i should shave. I have about 10 days worth of growth and like to keep it that way because i think i look far too young ...

A.   4 September 2008: My husband no longer shaves but keeps a bit of stubble that he trims regularly. I find it very sexy but all girls are different. If this is how she is used to you looking leave it for now x... (read in full...)

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