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I want out, but guilt kills me!
Q. I seriously need help... Ive been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and she is great.. Shes always there for me, she doesnt treat me bad, and we never have sexual problems or even huge arguments.. And yet I don't want her.. I didnt wa...
A. 15 March 2010: Hey, you just broke up with someone...even if you had good intentions you'll always feel bad about it. In the end thought, it's the best thing you could have done. She'll get over it in time :)... (read in full...)
Get back together or no contact - did I make the right decision?
Q. My ex boyfried dumped me about a month ago, I don't know why, and has been texting me recently whilst I've been sticking to NC (Mod note: No Contact). I replied to the first few just incase he had changed his mind, but after realizing he was just ...
A. 15 March 2010: You did the absolutele right thing. I was glad to read about what you did...good on you for sticking up for yourself and not letting him mess with you.
He dumped you and gave you no reason why, he has no business keeping in contact if, as you s... (read in full...)
What does his hug mean?
Q. I went on a date with a guy i work with and i feel like i am gettin mixed signals bc we kissed during the movie and afterwards we talked for an hour and he gave me a hug and then he texted me afterwards asking me if i was able to come to his friends ...
A. 12 March 2010: Nothing to worry about just yet...and no, don't ask him about it.
The problem many women seem to have (me included) is that we overanalyze everything and we want to read into little things like this to try and predict what a man's next action w... (read in full...)
My crush on my teacher who doesn't see my good qualities, is keeping me from dating guys that do...how do I get over this crush?
Q. I have had a crush on my teacher for a year or so, and every day I look for an excuse to stay in his classroom. It's odd because some days we seem to have interesting discussions, and other days we just do our own work. From time to time I see him ...
A. 12 March 2010: Ah, crushes on older men...I remember those. As long as you're not doing anything about this crush and as long as it's not interferring with your studies, you should be ok.
But it does seem to interfere in a way, doesn't it? You probably have a c... (read in full...)
Would guys like a 19 year old virgin. Or would the innocence drive them away?
Q. How many people like me still a virgin? I mean as far as age goes..I'm not ashamed of it but here where I live there's very few girls who remain virgins. Reason being I just haven't found the right guy yet. I also wonder do guys usually like ...
A. 10 March 2010: Many of my friends back in college were virgins at your age...absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don't compare yourself with anyone else, you are you.
As to whether guys like virgins? That depends. The guys who are only looking for sex won't us... (read in full...)
Is this too good to be true?
Q. I have been dating a man for about a month, he told me that we was falling for me almost immediatly. We seem to share the same world view, he tells me he's been looking for his mate for two years. He is divorced since 2001. He has opened up his ...
A. 10 March 2010: Only time will tell if he's genuine or not. What I can tell you is that quite often the men who want it all right now and who profess their love for you within a short time frame are not really in it for the long haul. But this is just a ... (read in full...)
He's great in lots of ways, but he's dull and argumentative too
Q. I have a fiancé whose main points are he doesn't snore, do porn, watch cricket or sports fanatically, tries hard to be attentive, doesn’t womanise or socialise with the boys as he prefers to be with me, doesn’t gamble or waste money, drinks ...
A. 10 March 2010: I think that relationship are about compromise and taking the good with the bad. Nothing and no one is perfect. It's easier to overlook the good and concentrate on the bad.
What you have to ask yourself is whether the good outweighs the bad. You... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become increasingly distant, am I just being overly sensitive?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, and in the last 2 months he has become increasingly distant. We used to be together pretty much all the time, and when we werent together we spoke or texed frequently. We used to see each other 2 ...
A. 10 March 2010: I don't think you're being overly sensitive. While relationships 'slow down' after that initial burst of seeing each other and phone calls and texts, if he's being the way you describe then I'd say that something is definitely up.
He could be... (read in full...)
I want out, but guilt kills me!
Q. I seriously need help... Ive been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and she is great.. Shes always there for me, she doesnt treat me bad, and we never have sexual problems or even huge arguments.. And yet I don't want her.. I didnt wa...
A. 5 March 2010: Hey, at least you're being honest.
You don't want to stay, you don't want to go...but you can't sit on the fence. You have to make a choice either way.
I think you'd be best of ending your relationship. She might be great and a wonderful girl, ... (read in full...)
After our weekend getaway he has changed.
Q. Last weekend, I slept with a guy from work, we were both sober so it wasn't a drunken mistake and actually it was a long time coming after weeks of flirty texts and flirting on nights out. I had absolutely fantastic weekend with him and even took me ...
A. 5 March 2010: You have done nothing wrong. I agree with Aunty Bim Bim, sex is all he wanted. You shouldn't do anything now. Ignore him, don't be concerned about his activities, actions or anything...he doesn't matter to you anymore.
I'd just like to ask you ... (read in full...)
Just got married, flirtatious friend of wife, I think I want to have sex with her, what should I do??
Q. Help, i got married last year and i love my wife to bits. The problum is when we go out with her friends one of them flirts with me all night. At first i didnt mind but now i really want to have sex with her. I dont know if its because i know i cant ...
A. 4 March 2010: I sure wouldn't want to be your wife. Do you really love her? Respect her? If so, you won't have sex with this other woman.
What do you think will happen? Whether you sleep with this woman once or many times, the result is the same...you will hur... (read in full...)
Dumped and don't know what to do...
Q. Six months ago, an old classmate from high school contacted me on facebook. We never talked in high school, but knew who each other were. So we messaged each other back and forth for about three months, then decided to go out. Our first date was ...
A. 3 March 2010: I doubt it was anything you did...and if it was, then he's just immature. But like everyone else said, there's more to this than meets the eye.
What struck me about your post is how quickly you fell into a relationship. I know you talked back and... (read in full...)
He cares for my feelings but the relationship may be moving too fast.
Q. Okay My boyfriend is 17 and after over a month that we've been together..he has started to get a little more intimate than before. We make out on a daily bases and it turns me on...but we never passed that. Till now he's been a lil foward which i ...
A. 3 March 2010: If you're not a 100% sure then don't do anything. You say you're unsure, and that's perfectly fine. So you know where you stand. It seems to me that you're at a cross roads because you know that he wants more and you're not sure if saying no to him ... (read in full...)
He broke up saying he isnt ready for committment
Q. I have been with this guy for about 7 months. everything was going good and all of a sudden he breaks up with me and says that he just waants to be friends for now and he doesn't want to be in a commited relationship. i never said anthing to him ...
A. 3 March 2010: You say you've been with him for 7 months...what was that? Just dating or were you in a relationship? I ask that because he says he's not ready for a committed relationship. What was he doing with you all this time then? Anyway, you don't do any... (read in full...)
Been with my boyfriend for 2 years but I'm afraid sex will change things!
Q. Hi I am new at this, I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 18, I am very happy with it. And i can tell you that i love him. I have 2 years with him, but he just asked me to have sex with him, but iam afraid that things would change between us. What s...
A. 3 March 2010: Although I think you're quite young to be having sex, I won't push my beliefs on you here.
You say that he asked you to have sex with him? Do YOU want to?
The fact that you think sex would change things between you two tells me that you're n... (read in full...)
Is he just planning on using me?
Q. hello, i was with my boyfriend for three years, in that time he cheated twice, and also dumped me once before he finally dumped me again. His reason being that he just did not have the time and money to come and see me, although i was travelli...
A. 3 March 2010: Walk away right now and never contact this man again.
I read your post and with each paragraph I read I kept thinking 'oh no.' He's used you before and he'll do it again. You were vulnerable and available and he took advantage of that.
Even th... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my ex that cheated? Or try the new guy out?
Q. ..I just recently got out of a relationship.. Where i was lied to multiple times, but ONLY cheated on once..with his ex..but never told me about it till i had legit proff.. but anyways I have found myself liking this guy from work, but can't seem to ...
A. 3 March 2010: You say your ex "cheated on me once, made out with a bunch of girls when we broke up while of course i was balling my eyes out, semi Jealous, trust issues, Never took me out with his friends, lied."
That's all you need to walk away from him. Onc... (read in full...)
I need him, but I am just not in love with him.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year. There were no fireworks when we met but he grew on me through his kind personality. We slowely became close but I always felt that he was not ultimately the one for me. He is incredible thoughtful, ...
A. 2 March 2010: You say you need him but that you don't love him? Could it be that you're just confused?
I agree with CaringGuy and don't think you should stay in a situation where you're not happy.
BUT, having said that, I would think more about this befor... (read in full...)
Should I stay and wait or just go?
Q. Hi, So ive been wanting to go see my LDR gf who is currently living in texas, but when i told her she told me not to come. She said that she doesnt want me to waste soo much money to come and visit her cause she gunna come back to MD(where i am...
A. 2 March 2010: Oh, I forgot to add...if you're willing to spend the money and go, then go and see what's up. Calling and emailing is too hard...you need to see her face to face.
Talk to her first and tell her that you really want to see her and that the money do... (read in full...)
Should I stay and wait or just go?
Q. Hi, So ive been wanting to go see my LDR gf who is currently living in texas, but when i told her she told me not to come. She said that she doesnt want me to waste soo much money to come and visit her cause she gunna come back to MD(where i am...
A. 2 March 2010: Although she might be genuine, you should find out the real reason she doesn't want you to come.
I highly doubt that her concerned about you spending money to come and see her is making her tell you not to come.
If I was her and I wanted to ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my boyfriend when I was talking to another guy. Now the other guy says I cheated!
Q. My relationship with my guy started out all wrong. We met on an internet site not intended to *hook-up* people-MFI (a site were you can have friends and benefactors contribute to your boob job). At the time I wanted implants to restore and enhance ...
A. 2 March 2010: GrimmReality...what a fab answer!... (read in full...)
I had sex with my boyfriend when I was talking to another guy. Now the other guy says I cheated!
Q. My relationship with my guy started out all wrong. We met on an internet site not intended to *hook-up* people-MFI (a site were you can have friends and benefactors contribute to your boob job). At the time I wanted implants to restore and enhance ...
A. 2 March 2010: The others have said it well...you cheated on your BF. This other guy was not committed to you and you were not committed to him, so you did not cheat on him.
You said that you guys "agreed that since we were in relationships we should deal wit... (read in full...)
Everytime I get upset or sick she tells me to deal with it! What makes her this way?
Q. Hey, all. I've been with my current girlfriend for about 16 months (same girl as my last question). She's begun pressuring me pretty hard to get engaged, but I have one big (in my opinion, anyway) roadblock to that happening. In a nut-shell, I ...
A. 2 March 2010: If this girl is as bad as she sounds, she's definitely not wife material. You've seen how she treats you in time of need...do you want this sort of behaviour when you're married and when she's the first person you have to rely on?
Sure, we all g... (read in full...)
My husband leaves me and his daughter to go out drinking constantly.
Q. I been married for 4 years i have a a 6 month old girl. My husband drinks to much and i suspect hes using drugs he never wants to take me out anywhere. He just wants to go out and drink with his friends and forgets about us should i leave him or ...
A. 2 March 2010: He's not giving you what you need and you should consider leaving him, especially if he is taking drugs.
Before you do so, make sure that you have the social and financial support to survive on your own with a small child. Plan ahead and you shou... (read in full...)
Does anyone use Nair on their arms?
Q. hey, does anyone use nair or something like it on their arms? does it work? what about hair regrowth? does it come back darker and thicker or just as it did before? does it grow back stubbly? thanks!...
A. 1 March 2010: Do you mean wax, or depilatory cream? I haven't tried either on my arms. I'd say the regrowth would be just as you'd get it on your legs. And no it won't come back thicker or darker...whether you shave, wax or depilate.
How dark is your hair? Ho... (read in full...)
Do late night texts mean he's looking for a 'booty call'?
Q. "i've heard a lot about when you receive a text from a guy after 10pm it's supposedly a booty call. we're not old enough to go to bars yet, but we do get drunk...by "booty call," i don't necessarily mean sex, just the fact that a guy is using you. ...
A. 25 February 2010: We need a lot more information to be able to even guess what his motivations are. My BF doesn't usually call until 10pm or after. We both work long hours and by the time we get everything else done, it's quite late. Perhaps after 10pm is the only ... (read in full...)
She never says anything bad about her husband. Will she ever leave him for me?
Q. I have been dating a married women for some time she says she is leaving her husband but when. She tells me she has no feelings for him. She also says that she has told him already and she says she is not leaving him because of me. She say he is ...
A. 25 February 2010: I doubt that she will leave him anytime soon. He gives her security and you're a risk...even if she loves you. She's been with him for 12 years, they have children together and I'm sure their families are connected as well by now.
She might no... (read in full...)
Got contact but what should I do next?
Q. I used to know this girl, but havent talked to her in months, and we just started talking again on facebook. She said we should chill sometime and catch up, so i asked her for her number and i got it... now what?...
A. 25 February 2010: Don't text...call her. See how's she's been doing and casually suggest you go out for a drink or something.
She's the one who suggested you hang out so you don't have anything to worry about here.
Go for it... (read in full...)
Will wishing an ex happy birthday seem clingy?
Q. (Mod note: Titled by poster) Ok, so I was wanting to know if I should wish an ex a happy birthday if he broke up with me because I was too "clingy?" His birthday is 3 weeks away...will it seem like I want him back if I do? Also, he said that ...
A. 25 February 2010: Yes it will. You've broken up and I don't think there's any need to be sending him any texts. He's been clear in telling you that he doesn't want any involvement with you (even as friends) so I think you should let it go.
You say you don't wa... (read in full...)
Please someone help, I'm scared I'll fall pregnant!
Q. please somebody, im begging you for urgent help :( im due on my period on the 3rd march, but tonight (23rd) i had sex with my partner and for some stupid reason i had unprotected sex with him - we never do, please don't ask my why :( he didnt pul...
A. 24 February 2010: In order to stay sane, go and have the pill. You'll just worry yourself silly thinking about it. Go and see a doc... (read in full...)
Best friend told me he loved me but didn't want a relationship, now he's back.
Q. My best male friend confessed he loved me a few months ago, and also confessed he wasn't ready for a relationship as he was in the early stages of admitting his depression, and felt it wouldn't be fair on me. - which i accepted. Time past and ...
A. 24 February 2010: I think you've got a lot of insight into this situation and that's a great start. You can already see that he's perhaps not after you for genuine reasons.
What I think is going on is that in the beginning he did like you and was attracted to you b... (read in full...)
I've not heard anything... am I being paranoid?
Q. I recently took a great woman out on a date on Sunday and had an amazing time. We both fell into easy conversation and tentatively planned on going out swing dancing the following Friday night. I waited until Tuesday night to give her a call about ...
A. 24 February 2010: So I'm guessing you left a voicemail message? I think you still have today and half of tomorrow before you can get paranoid. She could be busy. But if it comes to Friday and you haven't heard from her, I'd say she's either not that keen, is too busy ... (read in full...)
My fiancee wants to go see her ex bf..without me!
Q. Okay, Never done this before but I need some advice and really want to do the RIGHT thing here. My fiance and I are due to get married this May, we love each other, care about each other, but we don't always see things in the same light. Things ...
A. 24 February 2010: I agree with CaringGuy...something is definitely up. I commend you for allowing her to do as she pleases but you have to draw a line somewhere. If she is marrying you, you should be number one after the wedding...not friends, family and definitely ... (read in full...)
Scared of getting hurt!! Please Help
Q. Ok so heres the story. I have been talking to this guy everyday for the past few months and we are meeting up when im off work for a weeks holiday which is in 2 weeks(Its the only time we will both be free cos the days he has off i work and vice ...
A. 24 February 2010: You say that you're afraid of getting hurt and that you've never been in a relationship before. My advice to you would be to get to know this guy slowly and don't rush into things. I would also advise you to not sleep with him during this holiday. ... (read in full...)
How can I make him more into me?
Q. DEAR CUPID! There's a guy at work I have been messing around with secretly for a little bit now. The thing is, he doesn't want anything serious and my problem is that I know this but still really like him... I think about him all the time .... I ...
A. 24 February 2010: He will never want you the way you want him to want you. He's getting what he wants without giving anything back or making a committment.
To most guys, girls who sleep with them and mess around with them without being their girlfriend, will alw... (read in full...)
I'm really worried I may have blown my chances!
Q. I'm worried I may have screwed things up with a guy I just started seeing. See, I started talking to this guy on a dating site a couple of weeks ago. He seemed really nice (unlike a lot of guys on dating sites!) and we seemed to really click. ...
A. 22 February 2010: Wait, wait...WAIT. Let him contact you.
You had two good dates and he seemed interested. If he saw something in you to ask you out twice, I doubt he'll be turned off by your little Sat night performance. I don't think it's anything bad by the way.... (read in full...)
How do you show that you want to move the relationship forward?
Q. I have been seeing a guy about a month and a half now. Everything has been going good. He keeps telling me how awesome I am and when we first starting seeing each other couldn't believe that I wasn't taken already. He is also a very shy person. ...
A. 21 February 2010: What's your definition of the next step? A BF/GF relationship perhaps?
To some, a month and a half is not long (it's only 6 weeks when you think about it) and some guys take longer to decide where things are going. But, having said that, I think ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant and I'm out the door!
Q. Hey, i've been dating this 31 year old women with a kid already, im 25 no kids and on the track of geting a IT degree. I been dating this girl for 7months, then she tells me she is pregnant AND she tells me she dont want it and wants to have an ...
A. 19 February 2010: Is it possible that she's scared that if she has the child, you will eventually change your mind about the relationship (there'll be 2 kids in the picture) and leave her?
I'm guessing that's what already happened to her once and now she's a single... (read in full...)
Should I lay back and keep seeing him or forget about him and stay friends?
Q. Hello, I've been going out with a guy for almost 6 months now. He is a very nice person. We are friends with benefits. I have a daughter and it's just very hard for me to find a guy that I want to be in a serious relationship with, and a...
A. 19 February 2010: You did the right thing the first time when you decided not to see him again but then you stuffed up when you slept with him again.
No, you're not being too serious...you're looking after yourself and I think you need to demand what you want.
... (read in full...)
I love my married man but feel like I'm being used for sex.
Q. Hello i'm a 32 year old woman and i've been seeing this married man for years. Anyway i love him alot and i do things for him but i dont think he feels the same way, and it hurts. His wife recently called my cell phone and i hung up because i did ...
A. 19 February 2010: You let go when you realize that this man does not love or respect you.
You let go when you realize that you deserve a man who will only committ to you and not cheat on his wife to be with you.
You let go when you realize that he's not go... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this?? Does he just want SEX?
Q. a guy i met on plenty of fish dating site.. we've met in public once he says he wants to come to my house and chill with me cos HE HAS NO MONEY TO TAKE ME OUT. but he drives a very posh car and has a good job. i said i want to go out on d...
A. 19 February 2010: Yeah, that's all he wants. He doesn't want a girlfriend.
Take DoubleM's advice...don't even respond. Let this one go...you'll only get confused and hurt if you continue with him.
There are better men out there :)... (read in full...)
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