What to do in a situation like this?
Q. You are 27 After 6 months you cannot forget about her. You are learning Korean and plan on visiting Korea because you have been inspired by your emotions to do so. You try to convince yourself that this is not obsession You know you will n...
A. 3 November 2009: what do you do?
you tell your closest friends the situation..you open up about it instead of festering this secret love and bathing in it.
you tell them about her-that you miss her, you think about her always, you want to let it go as you know ... (read in full...)
I was upset, went off alone, was raped and none of my friends even bothered to call me to see if I was ok!
Q. On Saturday night I went out with 3 of my friends and was supposed to be staying over at one of their flats. I've never really felt like these girls like me that much, although they say things that make me feel like they do ("i'm soooo excited that ...
A. 16 September 2009: They deserve to hear what is on your mind. You should let them know that the way they acted was pretty pathetic and it almost seems fake that they are interested now. That don't they think it is a 'bit too little, a bit too late?" etc
I feel for... (read in full...)
Everyone thinks my ex b/f was so great but he abused me!
Q. I am struggeling to deal with the break up with my ex abusive bf. I feel so confused as my feelings are very conflicitng. It hurts to love someone who abused you. It doesnt even make sense. I know i shoudlnt feel this way but I do. I love him. ...
A. 16 September 2009: Tell someone
Tell someone the truth. Tell them the way he abused you and the way you feel so trapped now witht he expectations, with the idea that you have to pretend to people that they are right 'and that it is sad that you guys split"
... (read in full...)
Do I have normal expectations or am I being ethnocentric?
Q. My bf and I have been together for quite some time, are in a long-term LDR and reside on different continents. We have all of the normal couple issues but thus far they are something we seem to have been able to work through. Many of his closest ...
A. 14 September 2009: I have to be honest and say i am maybe a female version of your partner.. in that i hang around lots of guys and being a completely open person i see no point in censoring conversations or experiences with others because i am in a relationship. My ... (read in full...)
I really believe we are meant to be together; has anyone got any advice on how I can show her how great we can be together?
Q. My fiance ended our 3 year relationship last month. We had the most fantastic relationship. Yes, we had little bumps along the way (as everyone does I'm told). However, this year I let her down in areas that are most important to her. I'm talking ...
A. 14 September 2009: following her wishes is the best thing right now. Hoping for everything will threaten to destroy what you want , so take it as it comes..she will sense the expectations if they are there.
Take it slow, you sound on the right track, and listen m... (read in full...)
I left my shy, dull wife for a wildcat. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster!
Q. Left my wife of 15 years because we grew apart and it seemed like we just wanted different things in life. The thing is, my wife has always been painfully shy. Always hates crowds, or parties or bars. I live for the crowds and the parties and the ...
A. 14 September 2009: I think it is more than a midlife crisis. But i would say that firstly you need to think long and hard.
You are scared, tatiana most likely won't last, and you are scared she will spit you out. So you think you 'should' choose your wife because ... (read in full...)
Should I ignore what I think are lies and try to move forward in our marriage?
Q. Several years ago my wife and I had a real problem. My wife moved in with another man. We had 2 young children (2 and 3). At first she asked me to move out and take the kids with me. Anything my wife really wants I will do (within reason). A good ...
A. 14 September 2009: Sorry dude, but the question you pose at the end of your last scrap is something you know the answer to, and you almost say it as if to spur this go on longer.
Ofcourse the answer is Yes. It is something YOU need to forgive..you have heard ma... (read in full...)
She's not really affectionate with me and now I found out another guy likes her
Q. Hello dear cupid, my problem is this. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a few months now, and let's face it. She hasn't been the warmest of girlfriends. She never hugged or kissed in public, through the months, she has difficulty with ...
A. 12 September 2009: hmm I think you know the answer..
But all you can do is ask her if she is serious with you or not , ask her to be honest and that it is ok if she is not.
Then you get your answer. If she is hesitating , you could say that you guys had planned... (read in full...)
How can I get my friend to see just what her boyfriend is like?
Q. Hi there, I was hoping I could get other people's opinion on a tricky situation (sorry it's a long one)... I guess there is nothing I can do and I should mind my own business but I'm just curious to hear your opinions... I am good friends with my ...
A. 12 September 2009: At first when reading i thought by the title that it is not really your business. But after reading that if i were you I would step in for sure
If you were jenny, you would want to know this stuff. You should tell jenny atleast about your friend h... (read in full...)
I can't find someone to be with!
Q. This is really starting to become upsetting to me. I'm almost 19. Ive dated two people. neither for more then a month, but yeah, it's really starting to upset me that I can't find someone to actually be with. I'm not ugly (people always tell me ...
A. 12 September 2009: Stop looking. Only when i have stopped looking and found that femistic spur to go out and not need to fill anything have guys come into the picture
Everytime with OUT fail this has happened. Don't look, be proud being single and you will see guys... (read in full...)
Is he shy? Not into me? Unsure?
Q. I've 'dated' guys who want to get physical too soon and most often when I say no they just disappear on me. It hurts at the time but I get over it and realize they weren't worth much in the end anyway. Right now I've been on four dates with a guy...
A. 12 September 2009: Out of those options I would say A... I mean you clearly told him you were not ready..so if he can't be 'a nice guy' and also make 'a move' here.
You will have to make the first move to tell him you are ready. I don't think it is fair for guys to ... (read in full...)
He didn't make any attempt to get back with me but do you think he wants to?
Q. My ex bf broke up with me 1 week before he was due to leave for an long overseas holiday with his guy mates. At first he suggested we go on a 'break' and I said that I didnt want to go on a break because the whole time he was away I would just be ...
A. 12 September 2009: you could be right, it seems that is what he initially thought..but now that you ditched him he realised that he doesn't want to sleep around with just any old girls and that he'd rather you over such a quick fling and immature ,..well bachelor ... (read in full...)
B/f cheated on me with ex
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past 9 mos. When we started dating he had came out of a 10 year relationship and had a 6 month old son with his ex. I was hesitant about dating him at first because of this and had told him on quite a ...
A. 12 September 2009: firstly you ARE NOT DUMB
from the way you write you and the things you have said and cared enough about , you are really, definiately not dumb
You strike me of anything but dumb. What you have just been through, especially since you are yo... (read in full...)
How do I know whether I'm over my ex, or I'm trying to find a rebound to move on?
Q. 2 months ago my gf if u can call it that broke up and we talked everyday but when she told me she was hooking up with guys when she was drunk i was jealous but didnt tell her. a month ago i told her that i couldnt be friends with her anylonger if ...
A. 12 September 2009: every relationship is ..in some ways a rebound i believe.
But you go into it and you discover how cool that person is, and what qualities they have and you just have a new experience. You are not using her unless you are wishing to get back wit... (read in full...)
PLEASE help! My family are threatening to disown me and could possibly hurt my partner.. but I want to be free!
Q. Hello Every one I am a 22 year old female living in nyc and always lived here. My parents are strict European and also Muslim. I am and was always the blacksheep of my Family. I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy the same natonality and ...
A. 12 September 2009: Sometimes in life you need to make a really tough call. You are young but you have the logic there..you have the previous examples of your sister and your own relationship..and now you have found a guy you know is right for you. Maybe it doesn't ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if you are in a used relationship?
Q. Can someone tell me what does it mean if you are in a used relationship? And how do you move out or move on out of a relationship like this? Thx...B...
A. 11 September 2009: Did you misunderstand perhaps?
Maybe it was you are being used "in the relationship"
It means that the other person is not into giving back to you, but just 'using' you for their own selfish reasons, - sex, money , insecurity ..it is an expre... (read in full...)
Love? Ex-girlfriend? New boyfriend? What's going on here?
Q. I just got off the phone with my ex-girlfriend and now I'm confused. I'll give you a play by play on the last few lines of conversation we had before we hung up. Her: Well, I'm dying my hair. Now I have to go and dry it out. Talk to you next ti...
A. 11 September 2009: I genuinely think she just means life long love.
She still cares about you and would like to have that connection with you that you could tease her , or tell her your latest goss or treat her affectionately as buddies like before. Because you brok... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I need some advice on turning my life around
Q. Hey everyone. Im just here to ask for a few words of wisdom and advice. Im a 14 year old male who's going through alot at the moment and its tearing me down.Im a currently a freshman in highschool and with all the grades/test/classes/and drama it ...
A. 11 September 2009: You are completely normal. Honestly. It is just a phase that happens . I remember when i was your age and all these happy clappy people would be running around hypoactively and i was like..hmm i feel like a fake or different to all these people.
... (read in full...)
I've been too shy to say I like her, so now I think she thinks I'm a weird! Please advise..!
Q. There is this girl in two of my classes and I think I'm in love with her. The first couple of days that schools started she would say hi to me, when ever she saw me looking at her she would smile, but I just didn't have the guts to talk to her. Now ...
A. 11 September 2009: To be honest, you cant really say you are in love with her if you haven't really spoken to her so much and know her so well..in my opinion that is. You have a crush, you are attracted , you think she is cute, you love her face, her eyes etc etc. ... (read in full...)
Should I just settle?
Q. I am 29 and have never been married. I have been involved in a couple of serious relationships, but have never lived with any of my boyfriends. I don't put up with a lot of games or garbage and some call me too picky. I have a full social life and...
A. 10 September 2009: It's a tough , tricky, two edged sword question...i like it :)
I would say . that you can have a bestfriend who you have fun times with , but when it comes to a partner for life, it is not about settling but about finding the Right guy for you.... (read in full...)
Should I believe him? or still worry?
Q. I have a problem. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 16 months i'm 18 and He's almost 20, hes just a jerk now. He acts like my dad... literlly. hes exteremely sexual and I am too but not as bad as he is.. I dont love him like i used too he ...
A. 10 September 2009: I just read the other question you posted.
I don't know why you are with him to be honest. You say he is a jerk. You got a busted lip to prove it. You cheat on him and feel better for being treated like a human , he then threatens you insecure... (read in full...)
Should I ignore what I think are lies and try to move forward in our marriage?
Q. Several years ago my wife and I had a real problem. My wife moved in with another man. We had 2 young children (2 and 3). At first she asked me to move out and take the kids with me. Anything my wife really wants I will do (within reason). A good ...
A. 10 September 2009: i have to personally, completely second code warrior. Aboslutely.
Unfortunately we can't be in your head, and are not the ones to be victim to suc a horrible thing eating away at you. You not being able to discuss it , so that you can be more ope... (read in full...)
Will writing my feelings down help me get over my ex or will it bring back all the memories?
Q. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago and I'm still getting over it. I'm wondering if writing things down will either help me get over it (by letting some stuff out on the paper) or it will make me reminisce and think about all ...
A. 9 September 2009: if you want to truly get over it , and move on from the hurt i can only tell you something from my own experience.
After a terrible breakup i went to a councillor and she said that 75% she was seeing were seeing her for dealing with breakups... (read in full...)
We planned to have this baby and try to make things work, but all of a sudden he wants me to have an abortion!
Q. Hi Guys, Just want some outside opinion on a tricky situation. I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months and last week we found out I am pregnant. I know it is iresponsible, but I don't want a lecture! We talked about it, and even though w...
A. 9 September 2009: You can only communicate this with him and get the jist with him.
I had a similar experience but the guy did not change like this guy of yours did..and maybe this guy of yours has not changed. I found that the more we talked the better it got and ... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 8 September 2009: I'm sorry to go against the stream of people here...well i am not really going against the stream as i see it..
But why haven't you picked up her phone to talk to her. It seems a bit childish to not atleast communicate and to act so brashly ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that I crave my boyfriend's attention a lot?
Q. I'm not sure why but I crave my boyfriends attention a lot. I want him to talk to me when I want him to. Console me when I need him and just be there more me when I need him to be. Which he isn't sometimes. Today I spend time with him and we ...
A. 6 September 2009: To crave his attention..no
TO crave so much attention yes.
To crave so much attention that you judge is choice of female friends is also not so good.
You sound like a sweet girl, but you can't put all your stuff on him to solve. You need to spre... (read in full...)
I'm emotionally confused,and I tested the water to see if he would come running back
Q. Hey everyone, this site is new to me, so lets see how this works out. I am a gay male and I have been dating my partner for 10 months now, its been the greatest 10 months, complete with roller coasters, emotional confusion the works of a long-...
A. 5 September 2009: I think Em's answer and your take are very very wise and accurate.
I would say that since you know you have very strong feelings you need to just cough up your weaknesses when they arise. There is no need to be scared of such and run away to your ... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 5 September 2009: I think they work together and they are happily interacting in the work place. Being around this guy a lot, it would make sense that they have facebook chatter and jokes which you dont understand and that you would misunderstand.
I think you just... (read in full...)
Should I ignore what I think are lies and try to move forward in our marriage?
Q. Several years ago my wife and I had a real problem. My wife moved in with another man. We had 2 young children (2 and 3). At first she asked me to move out and take the kids with me. Anything my wife really wants I will do (within reason). A good ...
A. 5 September 2009: She has lied, i think that is common knowledge. She doesn't want to hurt you, to admit to being an idiot, or lost and confused and making such a stupid mistake and face those feelings now. Some people lie a lot, maybe they can be the nicest person, ... (read in full...)
I want her back in my life. Its so sad to throw it away
Q. i need help. i have been married for 9 months now and my wife left me last week. we have been arguing for months about silly matters and managed to resolve them but recently things started to get worse. the past 4 weeks we have had breaks, slept at ...
A. 4 September 2009: you both need to calm down. the more you dig at a scab on your knee the worse it will get.
You should have never said hurtful things, and even now if something goes down DO NOT SAY HURTFUL THINGS! YOU DON"T mean it and you are just reacting... (read in full...)
I know he has a girlfriend but does the fact I give him good sex make any difference? Is he into me? Help!
Q. Ok no judgement please.... Well I met this guy a few weeks back in a night club in Manchester, i was drunk so we decided to go back my house. We had sex which was good but he said it was the best sex he ever had and he cant believe how amazing ...
A. 4 September 2009: This situation is screwed, i know , we know, you know.
I think it means nothing to him. At first i was seeing it like you, that maybe he was unhappy, maybe he could move on with you. But then i thought about it.
He told you immediately that... (read in full...)
My ex wants to give us another try, just after breaking up with someone else
Q. My ex who I have been broken up with now for over 4 years very recently got out of a very long relationship of probably over 2 years. She has made it more than clear that she would like for us to be together again which totally took me by surprise. ...
A. 3 September 2009: why did they break up?... (read in full...)
I proposed and now she wont answer my calls!
Q. kindly help me out, am finding it difficult with my relationship.acturally i propose to lady and her reaction has been so bad that she hardly pick my calls.am so worried in that i usually find myself thinking about her,emotionally am not balanced.i ...
A. 3 September 2009: you fell in love and now you are blinded by the idea of being in love and maybe you went a bit far by proposing marriage.
The thing is..this guy just proposed to me . He is an ex. But he seems to be doing the same thing you are.. but here is my pr... (read in full...)
I'm never around for my son, and I cheat on my husband. Am I a bad mother?
Q. Am I a bad mother? Out of my sons 3 years of life iv been gone for 2 years. Im in and out. Im either deployed or in training. The only person he knows is his father who has him. But my relationship is going down the drain too. Iv been gone most of ...
A. 1 September 2009: i COMPLETELY second, softtouchmale, please listen to him , you are sounding quite rushed and not really aware of what you are feeling or what is the real right thing to do in this situation, but his methods would mean that whatever you decide, it ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might be wasting time on this man, I really want to settle down with him but he seems to be unsure of what he wants!
Q. Dear Aunts, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now - I am 34, he is 39. Neither of us has children, although he has been married before when he was in his early twenties. Their breakup was amicable, they had grown apart. At the...
A. 1 September 2009: i think it would be a big step for him to say he wanted kids with you if only three months ago he said he loved you. I would also say that for him to say he specifically, at that arising of the conversation- wanted kids with you, and marriage with ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me, but her committment is non-existent...
Q. Give me your thoughts on this one... About 8 months ago, I started dating this girl I have known about 4 years. She gave me the signs she was attracted to me when I first met her. I tried to get her to go out with me at that time, and twice ...
A. 1 September 2009: i think she is not the one for you
she is rude and wreckless, and continuing to talk to these guys on such topics tells me that she doesn't love you enough or maybe , that she wont let go of them for her on insecurities and thus, she is not for ... (read in full...)
He won't give me an orgasm because my semen smells too strongly
Q. Hi. I'm a 22-year-old gay guy, and I have an extremely difficult decision to make. My partner and I are on the verge of breaking up. The reason for our break-up has to do with our sex life. For the two-and-a-half years we've been together, my ...
A. 1 September 2009: everyone has pretty much written as good as it gets.
I think also he is being selfish..but i'm curious what 'intense' feelings you feel for him, that you can feel so unsatisfied and put up with someone who is being a brickwall in somethig... (read in full...)
How can I get the relationship with my daughter back on track?
Q. I have a 27 year old daughter who left home and does not speak to my husband, myself and my son. She does speak to my twin sister and my sister does not share what is going on in her life and that has made my sister and my relationship rocky. My ...
A. 31 August 2009: i think honestly..she just wants space from you all. Grant her that, respect her wants.
I know my parents are always thinking to interfer and they have so many times almost derailed me. One can't blame others for their emotions, or reaction... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do with my life since my girlfriend went back to her ex!
Q. met a divorced girl just under 2 years ago with a 3 year old boy she been through a tough relationship with her ex im not rich or well off but i did offer her love and affection always and made lots of effort with her son..i took him to thomasland ...
A. 31 August 2009: i think the next 2-3months for you will be a write off in terms of obsession and illusion ,and messy feelings.
Consider those 2months a getting over her period.. and be kind to yourself that you are down in those months. it is ok to write them off... (read in full...)
I want to go out with him, but I feel that the age difference is holding me back! What do you think?
Q. Ok so Ive met this one guy online a few months. We live close and I actually found that we go to the same college. Well we met one day and hit it off. He is a sweetheart and I really like him. I think he has serious boyfriend potential. He is pretty ...
A. 31 August 2009: that is nothing!
2 years girl?? dont be silllllllllllllllly!
seriously, that doesn't even constitute as a reason.. you have blown this up.
Are you scared of what who thinks? Your parents. Friends ?
his friends will think it's cool , h... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do with my life since my girlfriend went back to her ex!
Q. met a divorced girl just under 2 years ago with a 3 year old boy she been through a tough relationship with her ex im not rich or well off but i did offer her love and affection always and made lots of effort with her son..i took him to thomasland ...
A. 27 August 2009: Ofcourse you don't know what to do
what you are feeling is emotionally overwhelming and you are just feeling comlpetely normal reactions to all that has happened.
you need to just spend time by yourself. sort this out.
relax, cry, get a... (read in full...)
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