Could this be called psychological abuse?
Q. Hello. Advice would be really welcome here. In a long distance relationship of over a year. Good times and bad. Currently we had a heated discussion last week which we did not share a view on, and he did what he has done before and totally ignor...
A. 9 March 2016: Psychological abuse includes many things and ignoring is one of them. But this situation sounds like someone being impossible and not being able to communicate properly if at all.
Psychological abuse wouldn't apply unless a lot of other things w... (read in full...)
I’m with the wrong sister! I need advice!
Q. Hello!My name is Cameron and I'm 20.I desperately need some help because I have no idea how to deal with the situation that I'm in right now. My ex gf Natasha(25) and I dated for nearly a year.Prior to getting together we were really good frie...
A. 9 March 2016: This is a disaster! You slept with her sister and in any circumstance this is wrong! Thankfully you're not with your g.f now as this would cause a lot of friction in the family.
Call this a lesson learnt and move on. Yes, you're heartbro... (read in full...)
I am interested in a friend of the family's daughter who is 10 years younger than me. Should I not go there?
Q. Please don't be upset with me as I know how it looks and seems but I'm really confused. I'm a 31 year old male (Jan.) and I've been single since the summer of last year. Just recently during the holidays I have been spending a lot of time with my ...
A. 7 March 2016: Firstly it's legal for you to date...lol so technically you can date each other. However will the family be happy about it? If you split up will you still be friends with everyone like before? Therein lies a potential problem.
However if the fami... (read in full...)
I used a fake name on the website because I had been stalked in the past, now my b/f wants to end things!
Q. I met an older man about 14 years older then me on an online dating site. I went by my username since I met him, however I started a physical relationship with him 7 months ago. I just recently told him my real name because I started falling in love ...
A. 7 March 2016: I don't think your usename was the issue. I online date myself and its suggested for safety&privacy to use fake names. A lot of people use fake names until their comfortable giving their real name. So its unlikely this was the problem.
Onlin... (read in full...)
My husband says that I take advantage of him because I'm a stay at home mom!
Q. husband says i take advantage of him. i hurts my feelings. everyday he gets mad and tells me that.. im a stay at home mom of 3 ages 5 to 10.. i try to make everyone happy. but husband is not happy. he tells me he loves me then uts me down. i dont ...
A. 2 March 2016: I always maintain that if I get married and have kids, if money allows me to, I'll be happy to stay at home and raise the kids until maybe they start school. Depends on how my husband feels too. But after that I'd like to go back to work. In s... (read in full...)
Older men are my weakness. Should I be worried?
Q. Why am I attracted to older men? I have have dated men my own age but I feel nothing. I have had two serious relationships one with my ex' who was 38 and I was 20 and I was head over heels for him. Then 1 year later I met my Daughter's father who...
A. 26 February 2016: Like you do I like to date older men. It wasn't always like that though. Guys my own age even in my 20's didn't seem interested in me nor was I that interested in them. But the ones I did date, dumped me and basically treated me like dirt. But for ... (read in full...)
Frustrated love life. Is it true that some people truly are unlucky in love?
Q. Bad luck with love! Is it true that some people are unlucky with love? Finding the "one"? Having a serious relationship and growing old together? I'm starting to think I'm going to have that problem. I'm turning 25 soon and I've only ha...
A. 19 February 2016: Reading your post made me remember my own relationship experiences and I felt just like you do back then. As a teenager I was never interested in dating although my bff's were dating and even went on to marry their childhood sweethearts. I was happy ... (read in full...)
Severe depression and anxiety after worst breakup
Q. My ex and I split up about 2 months ago. Mainly because I felt I was putting more effort in than him. He's 30 and I'm 28. I refused to see him for 5 weeks as I believed the distance would do us good and give us time to figure things out. He was me...
A. 18 January 2016: You're going through a breakup which is always hard. It's normal to feel hurt, depressed etc when a r/ship ends and after a while you get over it. For some people that could mean days other longer before they move on. Then there is depression...... (read in full...)
I'm hurt and feel disrespected because of the way my husband kept looking at a woman all night
Q. Went out new years eve to a hotel party. The hotel asked when we booked a while back if we minded sitting with other people, we said thats ok as we were by ourselves just hubby and me. Found that we were sitting with other couples and there ...
A. 1 January 2016: It is disrespectful to eye up other people when your partners there. If he couldn't help it he should have been more discreet. Whether we're single or not, it is common to notice other people that we find attractive but if you have a partner it's ... (read in full...)
How do I survive this nightmare of bitchiness at work
Q. I have a problem with the people I work with and I'm thinking of leaving as it's getting to me a bit. I work in a small local business and there are only a few of us. We all have to put rotas in the system every day for gas and plumbing enginee...
A. 31 December 2015: Like you say, you need this job. And why let them push you out of a job? They sounds very b*tchy! You sound like a reasonable lady who is sensitive to others feelings. Good on you! But no one should make you unhappy! For now I'd suggest you keep... (read in full...)
My mother is having an affair with a married man. Worried that she'll be hurt. What can I do?
Q. Dear cupid, My mum is having an affair with a married man. It started 5 years ago when she was caring for my father who had dementia. He was coming around the house as his job is to teach computers and mum wanted to learn. I knew about it b...
A. 31 December 2015: Sadly there is not much you can do but give advice. You're mother is an adult and is entitled to do what she wants. You're right to be concerned about this r/ship but you also don't want to fall out with your mother.
My advice is to make clear yo... (read in full...)
Should I insist on her leaving her husband before I move to Germany to be closer to her?
Q. I have met a German married woman. I am in UK, 57 divorced. She is 44 with 3 children. We met at a party in Germany and she told me her husband no longer has sex with her since 6 years. We talked all night. The past 4 months we talk every day on...
A. 23 December 2015: I'm pleased you decided to stay and have met someone new. Sounds like the German lady wanted an affair partner (what you'd call a mistress) if you were female. You honestly deserve better.... (read in full...)
Should I insist on her leaving her husband before I move to Germany to be closer to her?
Q. I have met a German married woman. I am in UK, 57 divorced. She is 44 with 3 children. We met at a party in Germany and she told me her husband no longer has sex with her since 6 years. We talked all night. The past 4 months we talk every day on...
A. 23 December 2015: Oh boy! This sounds complicated. The bottom line is she's married. Asking her to leave her husband may not help. If she is unhappy with him them she needs to leave but it must be her decision. Affairs are never good and cause a lot of stress and ... (read in full...)
Is it bad for me to get mad with him? Or am I justified in feeling this way?
Q. I have been with my daughters dad for three years. We've had our ups and downs but have managed to stay together for the most part. Well, in July and August we separated due to him being really different so I packed up and left. We were still being ...
A. 20 December 2015: No you're not overreacting. He was having sex with you AND another woman! That's shameful. But...being separated to some people means freedom to have sex with someone else or date other people. Did you two make clear what you'd be doing during this ... (read in full...)
He's being generous but I don't feel I can accept his gifts and money!
Q. I met a guy about 6 months ago. I'm 23 and I work as a bartender while going to school. He is a lot older then me (he's 38). He came into the bar I work one night with some friends and we ended up chatting. He came in the following night and asked ...
A. 20 December 2015: I've been in similar situations with b/f's giving me expensive gifts, money etc. I'm independent and have always been. I grew up penniless and that taught me not to be materialistic. I don't mind people giving me gifts...as long as they're not ... (read in full...)
How do I get this married man out of my head?
Q. I have posted a few times about this situation. I have fallen for a married man. I don't want to feel a thing for him. Let me be clear I have never allowed us to cross the line. I have tried to avoid him, but down to his work this is impossible. S...
A. 15 December 2015: You won't get over him overnight. But sounds like you're doing all the right things to avoid things getting out of control. At some point in our lives, we do get attracted to married men or women. That's OK as long as it stops there. I've been ... (read in full...)
My master manipulator sister is ruining our wedding plans and our life. Help!
Q. My sister is a master manipulator. Over the past year, since getting engaged, not only has she tried to get money out of me for stuff we borrowed, as well as bringing money for family suppers (instead of food), but she also has tried to interfere or ...
A. 15 December 2015: Weddings in any situation can be a huge headache. Families bickering, trying to out do each other etc the list is endless. This is YOUR wedding day. A day that's meant to be happy but sounds like your sister is putting a dampener on things. Is s... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about this skinny shaming?
Q. OK, I have a gay male friend who to me seems obsessed with my weight/body. I m female, a size 8 weigh 57kgs and i m 169cm. According to my doctor i m in excellent health and the right weight etc for my BMI (Body Mass Index). I ve never had an...
A. 15 December 2015: Thanks for your advice. My friend is clearly unhealthy but rather than worry about himself, he takes digs at me. He's told me i looked 'painfully thin' once before. When I told him on another occasion that according to the BMI i'm healthy, he's ... (read in full...)
Should I find some new friends who are like us and don't have children?
Q. I want to start by saying that I hope what I'm about to write doesn't appear selfish as its really not my intention. I have 3 really close friends and we have all know each other since school (give or take 12 years). We are all married and 2 ...
A. 17 August 2015: You're not being selfish at all. Friends come and go. Often because of life changes e.g focusing on their career's or getting married. Yes, when you become a parent your life tends to be about family, kids etc. Not always though. Everyone is ... (read in full...)
We've been together 6 years and still his ex keeps contacting him. How can this woman be discouraged?
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years and his ex girlfriend won't leave him alone. She keeps pushing him about wanting to know if he is still in love with her. What can we do about her ...
A. 31 July 2015: How does HE feel about his ex still contacting him? Sounds like she is still hung up on him. 6 years is a LONG time and I would have thought she'd have moved on.
Do they have kids together? If so then she'll be a part of his life forever. But that... (read in full...)
Used a fake name on a dating site. Then chatted there with a great guy. How do I break this news to this great guy?
Q. Hi all. In a bit of a small situation that I'm tryin to get out of and I would appreciate a little help. I joined a dating site last week. I started chatting to this guy who is great. Exchanged numbers and been texting back and forth since. Thing is ...
A. 31 July 2015: You're actually encouraged NOT to give your real details online. I internet date and see some weird and wonderful names on there e.g MuscleHunk or HotCandy or Brad Pitt and no it isn't the actor either...lol
Or some guys msg me and say "Hi this... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and in love with my 30 year old principal
Q. I'm 15 and in love with my principal. He's around 30. I know it's not a crush; I joined this school last year and I just liked him last year; I tried to forget him, but my love for him just keeps increasing. All the other girls in my class also ...
A. 31 July 2015: It may be love yes, BUT he's 30 AND your principal. It's ok to have feelings for him but NOTHING will and must ever come out of it as it is illegal. You're underage and it's unlikely he'll risk his career and end up behind bars in order to date you. ... (read in full...)
Is this man using me as a back up or did he actually like me?
Q. Should I give this guy another chance? I recently met a guy on match, he is 11 yrs older than myself and is early 50s. We met at least on 5 occasions. The last time I stayed over at his place, we got a little intimate but we never went all the way...
A. 31 July 2015: I've dated older men myself and agree, you'd expect better given their life experience. Online dating which i've tried and met some great men with, can be a pain. Yes, there are people out there who use it as a site to meet and hook up with loads of ... (read in full...)
All my friends are moving on, dating ect and I feel left behind!
Q. Well you may not know this but this is the 5th time I wrote here in an ever increasing attempt to turn my life around. Let me start by saying...yes i have experience with women and the only reason i 'll act the way i am now because being alone is ...
A. 31 July 2015: You sound like someone MUCH older but...you're 18-21. So you're still young and have a WHOLE future ahead of you. In life friends come and go, likewise with girlfriends & boyfriends. People move on or away, make new friends etc
We ALL experien... (read in full...)
I want to know his thoughts about our dating future but I'm afraid to ask
Q. I have been divorced for 20 years, dating but without commitment. Seven months ago I met a recently widowed man (whose family I had known for years, but not him). I am 78 and he is 72. I want to know his thoughts about our future together, but af...
A. 31 July 2015: If you've been dating for 7 months then things seem to be going well. Before you know it you'll have been together a year. Question is what do you want out of it? You say you've been dating without commitment but ask about his thoughts for the ... (read in full...)
What can I do? He's shrugged off my complaints about his online contact with his co-worker.
Q. We have been married for 13 years and we love each other and think he loves me more than I do, maybe because he is more expressive than I am. Right from the beginning the only concern I have had is his flirting nature with other women. I don't t...
A. 13 May 2015: Everyone has boundaries in a relationship especially in a marriage. If our other half feels were are flirting with someone and says they don't like it...stop!
Even if we're friendly with everyone, in a relationship you have to draw a line. I ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my mother, to get her to accept and understand that we love each other?
Q. I am 30 years old woman. My boyfriend is 46 years old. We both really love each other. But my family is not accepting this relationship. I always have a fight with my mom. I cant anymore tolerate. She think that he loves me because I am young a...
A. 3 May 2015: I'm in a similar situation. I'm your age too and my gentleman friend is the same age as yours. However my family don't like him because of his baggage. He has 2 failed marriages with kids from them. If it works out, i'll be wife Number 3...lol. ... (read in full...)
Older guy at work keeps flirting with me and it's unwanted - should I tell him off or ignore him?
Q. I know this is long but please read, I'm in my first "proper" job and its annoying me. I'm 21 and in my current temp job till the end of May. I really enjoy the workplace though I am the youngest person there by about a decade, and I get on well ...
A. 23 April 2015: Being a temp does'nt help. Temps don't have many rights and can get let go at anytime with no reason. I've never done temp work but know people who have, especially girls who've also experienced what you have. Do you say anything? If it's making y... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself falling for an older married man?
Q. Please don't judge me on this, but I'm falling for an older married man. I see everyday and can't avoid him (tried not possible). At first I noticed him watching me all the time, then he would offer to help me out all the time which I admit al...
A. 23 April 2015: My advice comes from experience. I like older men and have had attention from some older married men. I'm OK with harmless flirting but regardless of age, if it becomes more than just fun...be careful! This is a married man PLUS he's a boss. So ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty much a social reject!
Q. I can't seem to make any friends because I'm single with no kids. Everyone views me as desperate or needy and stay far away from me as possible. Even when I don't announce my relationship status I still get the lonely and desperate tag. At work, ...
A. 23 April 2015: You are best off without these people. Rejecting you because you're single and judging you! That's awful AND discrimination! Being single is not a bad thing. For goodness sake hun, you're young and should be out the embracing your freedom. I'm sin... (read in full...)
My mom has always been mean to me ever since I was just a child, but she's gotten worse and worse and I'm really heart broken.
Q. I have not spoken or seen my mom in almost a year. To put it nicely, she was never a good mom. She was emotionally and physically abusive through out my entire life, and has never changed. I've always tried to talk with her about our problems and...
A. 23 April 2015: I'm recently estranged with my mother. I cut her out of my life because she was and is emotionally abusive. I also suffered sexual abuse from a family member twice as a child and when I told her, she called me a liar and asked me never to tell ... (read in full...)
How long, on average, does it take to get over a 7 year relationship?
Q. Hi there, My question is about breaking up with someone. How long, on average, does it take to get over a 7 year relationship with someone you really loved and still love? I am going through this now and it's been about 3 weeks but I am still ...
A. 9 April 2015: You want to enter a new relationship (if that's what you want) in positive state not holding grudges or still hurting. Talk to friends and family, look online for advice and tips on coping with a relationship breakup. If however you feel you're ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friend is flirting with me and I'm not sure what to do about it
Q. Hi, this is kind if a weird question but here it goes. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I love him to bits. Recently we started hanging out with some of his old friends more, which I am super happy about because ...
A. 9 April 2015: We can usually tell if someone is attracted to us. If this guys attention is making you uncomfortable, try to discourage him e.g talk about your boyfriend, hint that you'd never been unfaithful. Basically anything to let this guy know you're off ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friend is flirting with me and I'm not sure what to do about it
Q. Hi, this is kind if a weird question but here it goes. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I love him to bits. Recently we started hanging out with some of his old friends more, which I am super happy about because ...
A. 9 April 2015: We can usually tell if someone is attracted to us. If this guys attention is making you uncomfortable, try to discourage him e.g talk about your boyfriend, hint that you'd never been unfaithful. Basically anything to let this guy know you're off ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my husband's infatuation and his need to talk, all the time, about a girl he works with?
Q. I am so frustrated with my husband! We have been married ten years but together for 15. I thought things were really good we have a child both have good jobs and holidays. Right now we are on a family holiday. My husband keeps bringing a girl up ...
A. 9 April 2015: His behaviour is unacceptable. He should not be infatuated with anyone! He needs to take his responsibility as a husband and father seriously. He's behaving like a love sick teenager.
Put your foot down with him! Tell him to his face to grow up ... (read in full...)
How does one know when it's time to leave a relationship ?
Q. Can I ask everyone, if they gave up on a long term relationship, and how they knew the time had come to say goodbye. We have been together nearly four years and he has just stopped making the effort. I have suggested several meets and he alw...
A. 9 April 2015: Sometimes relationships end abruptly without reason but sometimes...they just come to an end as time goes on. For one reason or another.
Either the spark has gone or something has happened and you just can't find it in you to try any more even if ... (read in full...)
Will a married man ever replace his long term mistress with the next best thing?
Q. I am here to ask a question to everyone but WITHOUT JUDGMENT or PREACHING. I know affair posts get everyone very worked up. But I am not here to be crucified. Just to get help. I want to know what you think the answer is. It will help me immensel...
A. 7 April 2015: The dynamics of Extra Marital Affairs (EMA) differ. Some men will move from woman to woman whilst other men will remain loyal to BOTH wife and mistress. Everyone's need in an EMA is different. Cheating is NEVER good but for women AND men in this ... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed she owes me money, and that our friendship isn't important to her!
Q. I'm quite a generous person and I always try to put people ahead of me. However I feel used at the moment. Most of my friends no longer live where I live, moved away, uni, jobs etc so I barely see them. I saw one of them who I've always cons...
A. 7 April 2015: Money is the root of all evil! Money can ruin ALL kinds of relationships. I know two older ladies who I used to work with. They were best friends and decided to leave and go and start a business together. Fantastic right? No! Money got involved and ... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 7 April 2015: Emotionally it is! Men are lucky though that there is no time limit on having kids. You don't go through a menopause. However there are health risks associated with older dads having kids e.g autism and other illnesses. I'm not a doctor but have a ... (read in full...)
My mother is NOT a positive person!
Q. I came here because right now i dont have anybody to talk to. Im typing in tearz. .my heart broken. .my soul weak. I wish i had a good relationship with my mother. We argued again today. She thinks i hate her but little does she know how much i love ...
A. 7 April 2015: I'm sorry this is happening to you. It must be awful at home right now. Sounds like your mum is stressed out and so are you. Please take a deep breath and try to relax. Go for a walk whatever helps you relax.
I doubt you're a bad person. I'm sure... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for your bf to take his daughter to a party you were invited to?
Q. Is it wrong for your bf to take his daughter to a party you were invited to? This is how it started. I asked my bf to go to a Billy Joel concert with me, but he didn't seem to interested as his ski trip was in the same month and as of yet did not ...
A. 7 April 2015: There seems to be a lack of communication. Yes, you and him talk but never make clear sense of what's going on with each other. This is not your fault at all. However communication is important in a relationship. Sometimes misunderstanding... (read in full...)
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