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| | justgirl's profile:HI, I am newly single mom (age 46) whom has been married twice. I am sure I will never allow myself to marry again. I would live with someone as a companion, but beyond that, no go. If this person exists I would wait quite sometime to make that decision.
I am a music lover, grew up on a farm, like horses (though I haven't own one for years), have allowed myself to be emotionally abused in most relationships (I say allowed because I did nothing to stop it and I hope I have learned my lesson), I have four children and work full-time and recently took on a part time job to pay off the debt my past hubby and I acquired. I hope to purchase my own farm someday (goal-four years) and live comfortably. I get easily distracted and like to try all different kinds of things. My goals for the year are to take swimming lessons and return to taking guiter lessons. As my children get older I am finding time to do more for me. I recently loss over fifty pounds and I have thirty more to go to be my ideal and skinny weight. I need to exercise to get my body back into shape and care a great deal about this. Life has been very kind to me and I blame myself for allowing my relationships to turn our the way they did or the choices I made were very wrong and I need to have more ability to retrospect others. I don;t ever want to stop doing new things and hope I can learn to be more secure and learn to enjoy every moment instead of letting my past control my future. |
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Is there any way of terminating my child support payments?
Q. I was wondering if there is any way of terminating a child support payment. My ex no longer allows me to see my daughter and I don't believe I should be paying for her when I can't even see her let alone talk to her. I could use that money for ...
A. 23 July 2008: Fight to see your child...what in sam hill is wrong with you. Leave your ex out of this and biuld a relationship that your daughter will grow from and have a positive upbringing. And pay your SUPPORT....it took two. And you need to be a father ... (read in full...)
Is my wife just down or is there something more to this?
Q. I've worked for 23 years and recently laid off my wife hardly wants to have sex and leaves 45 minutes early to work..she eventually said, she will break down to someone because she keeping everything inside. We are having hard time finaully. Is ...
A. 23 July 2008: Well, my ex was laid off four times in the last five years and I never took this out on him. He kept trying and would get jobs eventually and never any long periods in between. So, I think women shouldn't be hard on guy for that reason...Heck, you ... (read in full...)
I am so embarrassed... how do I stop thinking about this incident?
Q. This really isn't a relationship question but I need advice..please :( So I was in self defense class today and I was paying no attention when during the second half of class, my partner brought it to my attention that I was bleeding on my foot. I ...
A. 23 July 2008: I know this hard to imagine. You will laugh about this someday. Listen, hold your head other and tell yourself it was no big deal. People treat you how you present yourself. You don't make a big deal about this, no one else will. If they do, ... (read in full...)
Why is he playing me hot and cold?
Q. Hi all. My situation is something that has been breweing for a few months now (since about April). My problem in a nutshell is: I have a co-worker I am very attracted to, and I'm fairly certain he is attracted to me to some degree, ho...
A. 22 July 2008: Please remember you are not in joint relationship with him, so you are on the one sided which probably means you don't know him that well and your feeling are more attracted or lust as they call it now a days. Unless he reciprocates you don't know ... (read in full...)
I want to be a teen dad, but how do I tll my parents?
Q. How can I tell my parents that me and my partner are trying for baby and will get a flat when the baby is born? My dad is quite old fasioned, he will probably go mad what should I do, Im excited if my partner gets pregnant because I love her lots ...
A. 21 July 2008: Okay, Please try to understand that all these comments are coming from individuals that have been out in the real world for a while now. I have one suggestion. You and your partner each convince your parents to allow you to have a kitten. And you ... (read in full...)
How do I escape this violent relationship?
Q. my husband is an alcoholic and is very abusive towards me both when he is drinking and when he is not. He is a control freak who will not let me do anything or go anywhere, and if i do there is always a hugh fight that lasts for days..he is always ...
A. 21 July 2008: Please leave at the first available time. Call your women's shelter and run from him. The damage emotionally and physically will take years to recover from!! You deserve better!!... (read in full...)
My wife moved out with our kids because I had a drink after major health problems. I want her back.
Q. my wife recently moved out into her own apartment with our 4 kids. circumstances: in january i had a stroke, was given 72 hours to live, docs told my wife that i would be restricted to a wheelchair. she never believed them and passed her strength on ...
A. 20 July 2008: I am definitely the last person to be saying this. I am all for love and even if it is wrong love, I still think people need happiness even when they can't get it from their spouse. I truly believe God does not want us to live in misery and if we ... (read in full...)
My wife moved out with our kids because I had a drink after major health problems. I want her back.
Q. my wife recently moved out into her own apartment with our 4 kids. circumstances: in january i had a stroke, was given 72 hours to live, docs told my wife that i would be restricted to a wheelchair. she never believed them and passed her strength on ...
A. 20 July 2008: I am definitely the last person to be saying this. I am all for love and even if it is wrong love, I still think people need happiness even when they can't get it from their spouse. I truly believe God does not want us to live in misery and if we ... (read in full...)
My wife moved out with our kids because I had a drink after major health problems. I want her back.
Q. my wife recently moved out into her own apartment with our 4 kids. circumstances: in january i had a stroke, was given 72 hours to live, docs told my wife that i would be restricted to a wheelchair. she never believed them and passed her strength on ...
A. 16 July 2008: It is going to take her time to trust you again. I have just started gamblers anonymous. It is hard admiting you have a ton of character flaws in your self at any age. I know you are a good person, but she needs to have some space longer than ... (read in full...)
Would you cheat on a boat with George Clooney?
Q. If you were married and knew it was going to be the end of the world and you were on a boat with George Clooney, would you cheat? What movie star would get you to cheat?...
A. 16 July 2008: I still think this is George Clooney!!!... (read in full...)
One of the secretaries has placed an unopened tampon under my personal belongings, any idea why?
Q. Hi I have returned to work in a healthcare organization and share an office with 12 colleagues. A few other secretaries also have access to the room. I don't know any of them too well as I have been away for 2 years. One of the women has placed...
A. 14 July 2008: They think it is funny. They are trying to play a joke and get a laugh. No reason. Women are women and get really silly and like to try to mess with a man head. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my sister's relationship with an older man?
Q. Here's another question of does age really matter! My sister, whose almost 19, has recently started dating a 32 year old. I've never met him and neither has any of my family, but her good friend, whose 23 and also knows him and introduced them,...
A. 14 July 2008: I don't think so. But she will be shocked if she fast aged him to 59 and she is 46. No seriously, I think she is over 18 and it is not an issue...if they get along and all the attraction is there. ... (read in full...)
Seriously - Would you cheat with a celebrity if it was safe?
Q. i need serious answers. Married or single women - if you could sleep with any hot celebrity you wanted to and there was no way in the world you could get caught would you cheat on your husband or boyfriend? Serious answers only please....
A. 14 July 2008: I am starting to think this question was asked by a hot male celebrity that was turned down and he can't believe that he was...so he is questioning what the heck happened. My mind is wandering about this whole question and I am going places. Sorry ... (read in full...)
Seriously - Would you cheat with a celebrity if it was safe?
Q. i need serious answers. Married or single women - if you could sleep with any hot celebrity you wanted to and there was no way in the world you could get caught would you cheat on your husband or boyfriend? Serious answers only please....
A. 14 July 2008: Okay, question back at you. If your most attractive female movie star let it be known to you that she wanted you in a sexual way....What would you do??... (read in full...)
My wife told me she would cheat on me with George Clooney if she had the chance!!!
Q. Guys, would it bother you a lot if this happened to you? My wife and I were watching tv last night where a woman was asked a question, if George Clooney asked her to have sex with her and there was no way she could get caught would she cheat on her ...
A. 14 July 2008: Oh yeah...definitely Johnny Depp. But, he would have to be dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow. ... (read in full...)
I dream of having sex with an old, ugly, fat man. What does it mean?
Q. Hey Aunts Well lately ive been having really strange dreams about having sex with a man whos really old, ugly and fat. In the dream i never see his face and i have the sex with the same man in my dream each night. Could anyone tell me what it ...
A. 13 July 2008: Oh dear, this must be a very scary experience for you. I hope it is nothing but drinking coffee late at night. I am going to give you my own knowledge of what this dream could mean. As I personally have had some psychic experiences. You are ... (read in full...)
My wife moved out with our kids because I had a drink after major health problems. I want her back.
Q. my wife recently moved out into her own apartment with our 4 kids. circumstances: in january i had a stroke, was given 72 hours to live, docs told my wife that i would be restricted to a wheelchair. she never believed them and passed her strength on ...
A. 13 July 2008: Well, I would wait it out. How long do you think you can go on like this? If would interesting to see how she reacts if you started to do just the opposite. Maybe things are better than when you were married and she is not giving up the good life ... (read in full...)
He loves me, but now his wife has found out he doesn't want to know me.
Q. I have been with someone for the past 3 years but found out 6 months ago that he has recently married. Because I love this person so much I agreed to be the other woman. I know that he loves me and he tells me all the time that it was a mistake ...
A. 13 July 2008: Oh, well I bet she was standing over his shoulder when he texted you. And I bet, after awhile, he will contacting you again. However, if he did not love you he will not be back. There are true jerks and then there are guys that are truly ... (read in full...)
How do I make him understand that overt flirtations and his forgetting my feelings is wrong. Or should I pretend nothing is happening?
Q. I have been married for 23 years. Last year, I found that my husband had been texting and emailing a colleague (and she had responded over 200 times) with extremely explicit sexual language - It read as though they were having an affair - even ...
A. 13 July 2008: He is what he is. Chances are he is not going to change or can you change or have you change in the last five years. Have you asked what these women can give him that you are not giving him? Maybe he wants you repond as the women are through ... (read in full...)
Have just broken up with my married boyfriend... How do I move on? I am thinking of telling his wife about us.
Q. I have been seeing a married guy. He has 3 kids and he and his wife have been together for 9 years, married for 3. i asked him when i met him if he was married, as i had a feeling he wasn't telling me something. to this he answered no, this was a ...
A. 12 July 2008: I know the pain is unbearable. Please remember he is not happy either with his situation. Everyone bashes these guys and tells everyone this a big no no. However, he probably can't leave his wife due to finances and family. Men are very ... (read in full...)
I want answers from real women about parenthood!
Q. Hey girls( andblokes without sonding too sexixt)! I'm in a dilemma at this point in my life. You see, I really think that I might want a baby. Im 26, have a great career(well okay career- I'm a family planning nurse-the irony!), loving partner, ...
A. 12 July 2008: I was career oriented and on my way to college degree and working. Well, I had similiar desires and finally it won over. I would not give up my four girls for the workld, but I must confess, I wish I would have prepared more financially. That is ... (read in full...)
Has anyone heard of affair partners actually working out? He's the love of my life.
Q. Ok here goes I have been married for many years, Married at 19. Things have not been all bad but for a while now I have not been happy almost left last year a few times. Things are still rocky. I happened to call my brother in law (my husbands ...
A. 11 July 2008: You are fine and will make it through this no matter what happens.... (read in full...)
Has anyone heard of affair partners actually working out? He's the love of my life.
Q. Ok here goes I have been married for many years, Married at 19. Things have not been all bad but for a while now I have not been happy almost left last year a few times. Things are still rocky. I happened to call my brother in law (my husbands ...
A. 9 July 2008: YOu go girl.....follow your heart. I agree one hundred percent. It is like living without oxygen when you can't be around the person that makes you feel like that. I don't blame you a bit. Maybe someday you can be together for now enjoy each ... (read in full...)
Embarassed about gingery brown pubic hair...
Q. I have gingery brown pubic hair although my natural hair colour is dark brown...I've always been really embarassed about this because when I was at school, kids would always make fun of 'ginger pubes'. Now I'm 25, and no man has ever seen me in ...
A. 6 July 2008: Give me your life just once that I have to worry about such a possibly really unique trait. And the guy who falls in love with you will be fasinated by it all.!!! Please don't fret, enjoy!! ... (read in full...)
Can you stay friends with someone you were in a relationship with?
Q. Can I still be a friend? Hello everyone. I have asked this before, but the question remains. I was in a very long relationship with this woman. We still talk/see each other on occasion. I guess what I am asking is: If you say yes-How did you do i...
A. 6 July 2008: Yes, it would depend. If she wants a relationship and you don't then....she will have to decide if she can accept a relationship with you as friends. Personally, I have friends that were boyfriends now that I am divorced. And I thought years ago ... (read in full...)
Is this married man being flirtacious with me?
Q. Is there a way a married guy can send signals to a single girl in which he may be interested in something shady without telling it directly? If that is so, what kind of signs are there? I ask this cuz I met a guy a year ago, and being keeping ...
A. 6 July 2008: Ask around about him. Usually, if he is constant cheater. Everyone knows his history. Don't be afraid to do so...be non-chalant about it. Just drop a few lines to another pretty face around your age..and say, "Hey, Guy seems really nice to work ... (read in full...)
He's addicted to porn but he's perfect in every other way. I don't know what to do.
Q. I'm pretty depressed right now. I've been with my 42 year old boyfriend for 3.5 years. I am 40. At the start of our relationship he was upfront about his porno tapes. About 6 months later when feelings started developing I became insecure with ...
A. 6 July 2008: Wow. It is a shocker. Be careful. Addiction to Porn you can make your guy distant when you are with them 24/7. I would also check if there is prositition involved in his life. This is a very addictive pleasure...since it excites the most ... (read in full...)
I feel invisible as a sexual being...can our marriage survive??
Q. Thanks for listening. This is really an awful question...But I have been struggling a long time with this and can't really ask friends or family. I am married to a lovely man for a few years now. And we have a child. We are both in our late thirtie...
A. 5 July 2008: As time wears on and if he will not do as the other Aunts have suggested. It will be tough. Hopefully he will agree to all the suggested before my answer. If not, you are going to be miserable. And yes, always someone comes in the picture ... (read in full...)
Should I just try and forget these feelings I am having??
Q. I am 24 yrs old and married since 5 yrs quite young and 10yrs with my hubby ,i dont have any kids. We were in love since i was at school ,our married life is very nice its just hubby works a lot so do i and we don't have enought time together but ...
A. 5 July 2008: Why does he work he alot. There in lies the problem. Is he working all those hours because he has to or because of other reasons. If he continues working and not taking time for you, it will be more difficult when you find someone that makes you ... (read in full...)
Has anyone heard of affair partners actually working out? He's the love of my life.
Q. Ok here goes I have been married for many years, Married at 19. Things have not been all bad but for a while now I have not been happy almost left last year a few times. Things are still rocky. I happened to call my brother in law (my husbands ...
A. 1 July 2008: NO one is really going to know what to say on this one. As agony aunts, it appears people are really hard on these feelings when one is married. You sound as though you have totally detached yourself from your husband. He appears to be free. ... (read in full...)
My husband has severe anger and control issues, will this ever change?
Q. Help, my husband of only 1 1/2 years is very controlling, he does not let me have any friends and has even made me give up my best friend. He swears at me and calls me names on a daily basis and even insults my kids. I don't want to be without him ...
A. 29 June 2008: Yes, most definitely. Call the women's shelter and take your kids and leave. HE is bomb waiting to explode and any given time. Please, for the sake of your children. They deserve a peaceful in environment to grow up in, because the visuals they ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this guy I like him even though he doesn't feel the same?
Q. I really, really like this guy I met a year ago in a meeting. He then had to move away, but I manage to contact him by email. Since then, we've being in touch by email and have become friends, sharing thoughts, updating on stuff happening around ...
A. 29 June 2008: It is quite simple. Just tell him something like this, "If you are visiting in my area and want to do something together as friends, let me know and if ever I am in your town I will let you know. If you are free we can do something together." I ... (read in full...)
My partner is controlling and lies to me. Should I leave?
Q. I need help, I found out my partner was arranging to meet by text someone they met online for real for coffee, it was all hugs and kisses texts, and they said lets meet coffee, then I found out and said what is it going to be me or that coffee, they ...
A. 29 June 2008: Sounds like he is making your life miserable. You could suggest counseling and see if he loves you enough to try to change. Would your friends give him another chance. Maybe they feel these vibes from him and it so uncomfortable and they may know ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex contact me for no reason? Was she thinking of me?
Q. so i live in the states for univeristy, and on the last day of exams my ex decided to text me for no reason other than to ask me how i was, and how the semester ended. i replied with a cold good and im getting ready to go back home, and then she ...
A. 27 June 2008: It could be. You will have to wait and see if she text you back again. Why don't you just flat out ask her. Do you miss me??? What do you have to lose? ... (read in full...)
He's ignoring me and I don't even know if we are together or not...
Q. Hi, I've been with my partner for 5 years. When we argue he goes into silent mode and just wont talk. We were in a really great place in our relationship two nights ago and then it all fell apart. We were invited to my sisters and he said he wasn'...
A. 23 June 2008: Wow. He is on a strange bender. Odd, that he used the wine for reason to initiate a fight with you. As if he were searching for more reasons. Really mind bending. I think he was looking for reason to cause a rift between the two of you, to have ... (read in full...)
My sex life lacks passion, should I stay with my BF that I DO love or keep in contact with the other man who made me feel so special...?
Q. I went away for the weekend with a group of friends to Ireland. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, who I love very much. Our sex life hasn't been very good for the last 1.5 years, he doesn't initiate things very often and only makes an ...
A. 23 June 2008: Oh dear. Imagine what the future holds with your boyfriend when he doesn't give you affection. I can tell you, if you are the one doing all the intiating then it is going to be a lonely life. I was married 11 years and the same situation. We ... (read in full...)
He left me for this woman a while ago, now we are back together and I don't know how to deal with their friendship!!!
Q. I do not know how to deal or if I can deal with my boyfriend's frienship with an ex. I left my husband for him 4 years ago as we had an affair and I really do love him otherwise I wouldn't have gotten divorced. I feel that he is my soulmate. We were ...
A. 23 June 2008: I am wondering if you notice his personality change when she texts him and the way acts when you ask him to end the friendship. He may love both of you. As we have seen in prior in questions. Men love their cake and eat it too. So you have a ... (read in full...)
How to extinquish the affection for a married woman..any advice?
Q. What makes a man want to have the affection of another woman when has been married for years? How can the urge be extinguished? Is it really that bad if there is no sex involved? ...
A. 16 June 2008: I think you need to tell your wife about her. Tell her the truth. Tell her you can't figure out what is going on. Ask her if she has ever felt that way about someone else. Maybe you need to work on an area in your marriage that is lacking and ... (read in full...)
I need help to make my choice between these two women!
Q. My dear Friend who come out here to chare your opinon to star let me tell you will apreciate every comment that will establish my decisin. I been married with my wife for almost 12 year and in those 12 year we have been trough hard ship, accid...
A. 9 June 2008: Yes, you know the answer, you need to get the divorce. Move close to your son, get as much visitation as possible. Live your live with the woman you love and share your life with your son as much as possible. You need to step up with getting ... (read in full...)
Marriage break-up-Does anyone have any advice on how I can move forward and what is best to do first?
Q. Feeling pretty desperate today and would be grateful for advice. I am 36 and been married for 15 years. During my 20's my marriage turned sour but it was never bad enough to leave. There has been a lot of verbal abuse and overbearing behaviour on ...
A. 26 May 2008: Isabella gave great advice. While you walking make a decision whether you need to make a plan to start moving out or you are live in the same situation. Can you go to him and say, I am unhappy and I am not attracted you anymore, for whatever ... (read in full...)
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