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He says I do not set aside enough time to spend with him. What should I say or do in response to him?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a guy from my office. I'm a self confessed workaholic and he is always complaining that I don't make enough time for him on the weekdays. However every alternate weekend, he goes to his parents house where he maintai...

A.   29 June 2016: I agree with Denizen. Both of you should sit down have a good talk and come to terms with each other's expectations. It would be unfair to demand from his side if you are not prepared to make compromises on yours. I'm not asking you to spend a lot ... (read in full...)

Why do some people not say hello? Especially at work?

Q.   Why do some people not say hi back, especially in work or social situation? I was told once to always say hi as i walk into work or in a social situation and im introverted, saying hi is hard but i do! So why do colleagues and some others igno...

A.   29 June 2016: There are all kinds of people at work. Having said that, it's important that you do not take things personally or end up you are the one who's gonna suffer. Why do I say that? There will be people who like you and those who don't like you. The... (read in full...)

If he hates other men looking at me why does he find it ok for him to go and look at other women.

Q.   Firstly I want to start by saying that I am not a prude at all, I have no problem with pornography and stuff like that, I'm very open when it comes to things like that. I've even taken my boyfriend to a strip club before. But I've been with m...

A.   29 June 2016: I just feel that, men being men, they know what a man is thinking when looking at other women. Someone once admit that he likes to mentally undress the woman in her mind. I don't know if that is the case for all men. As for your beau, no point ge... (read in full...)

I feel hurt and depressed that my sister and her daughter don't seem to care about me and my sister only talks about her problems

Q.   My sister and her daughter live quite a distance away. I used to phone her a few times a month but all she ever spoke about was herself, her health and family problems, never asking how me or my family were keeping. The only time she seemed t...

A.   15 September 2015: When it comes to family, there are all kinds of personality. The selfless one, the selfish one, the arrogant and tyrannical one or the only think of themselves one. The same goes for my family. And over tme I have learnt to have the wisdom w... (read in full...)

I am absolutely dreading going to the mutual friend's wedding because my ex will be there with the other woman. I feel like the loser and she will be gloating and all over him :(

Q.   Dear Cupids I was seeing a man for a few months and we were getting on really well and his behaviour towards me showed that he was really interested and keen. He said that I was fun, interesting, and pretty, and we had some wonderful times ...

A.   15 September 2015: In all honesty, I feel the guy's reason tp keep you as a friend is to (sorry if I sound harsh) to keep you on the side because he isn't really sure the sudden change in attitude in the girl he's dating now and he isn't sure if things will really ... (read in full...)

My Bf, while still a child, suffered sexual abuse by a male pedophile. Can this affect the relationship between my Bf and I, long term?

Q.   My boyfriend recently told me that he was sexually abused by his male coach when he was 8. I am the only woman he has ever had sex with and he says loves making love to me. He says he feels very loved and complete afterwards. He said that he does...

A.   22 August 2013: I agree with the previous poster. Your boyfriend should go for counselling. It's not ok and whether there are "side effects" leading to repercussions in his life, no one knows yet. My husband was sexually abused just for 9 months when he was 7 ye... (read in full...)

I have a great husband and family but can't forget a guy from my past

Q.   Am a 26 year old lady married with 2 kids. I have everything I want. Am educated/smart, Great hot husband with enough income, 2 amazing kids, lots of sex with my husband but I still can't get over a guy I met 3 yrs ago. He is married too and I know ...

A.   22 July 2013: When you open yourself up to another party and start sharing more and more things, there's usually a transfer of feelings and you start feeling here's a guy who will listen to you everything you have to say and never rejects you or despise you. ... (read in full...)

Is the Personal Trainer Guy Interested in Me or just Grooming Me for a Sale?

Q.   I know this sounds like a really cheesy cliché question that hundreds of women have asked many times but I'm more confused by my potential personal trainer. After going in to speak to one three days ago and asking about what the sessions involve/...

A.   14 July 2013: You can only tell when you reject his PT sessions and he still initiates. But most trainers are downright flirtatious so dun read too much into his actions especially if you are a member there. The last thing you want is for him to badmouth you. ... (read in full...)

Put a dent in my boyfriend's car, how do I handle this?

Q.   I backed into something last night in boyfriends new car and now he is not speaking to me after though he was rude and acts like i did it on purpose. How long will he be mad? It isnt even a big dent (2in) also how should i handle it we live together...

A.   14 July 2013: I think fair enough you should offer to pay and fix it. It's not so much about the dent size but who likes to have a dent on his car? It's unintentional though but you probably should offer to do something about it. Yes, the car model matters too. ... (read in full...)

She's married but we're sort of friends. Is it ok to invite her for coffee?

Q.   I've got to know my next door neighbour over the past year or so. She walks her kids to school at the same time I go to work, and we spend the time chatting. I haven't seen her in a couple of months and this week we bumped into each other. We said ...

A.   14 July 2013: If you don't like her, I think it's ok to invite not just her but also extend the invitation to her spouse as well. Usually people don't just invite 1 party but the couple. However, due to the fact that you like her, I feel that you should just let ... (read in full...)

I'm engaged but my guy friend who's interested in me just wont take no for an answer

Q.   Hi there, I have a question about one of my guy friends.He is a sweet guy that would do anything for me.We hang out get along great but are just friends. he has been hinting around that he wants more, but I have a fiance and just want to remain ...

A.   29 June 2013: I don't think he's genuinely interested in you, more like he's for the sex. If a guy is genuinely in love with you, yes he would drop hints but he would respect you but the things he did are out of the question. It's outrage of modesty and he's ... (read in full...)

I want to make it clear that there will be no sex on the first date

Q.   Basically, I am in a bit of a situation with this guy. I met him in a student bar and we hit it off. We had a bit to drink and ended up making out throughout the night. After this, we ended up exchanging numbers. He text me last week asking to meet ...

A.   29 June 2013: I think he has made subtle hints suggesting to rent a hotel. Even to cut costs by saying he would gladly stay overnight at your place. I like what one of the moderator said once, you talk before you have sex not after you have sex. You could go... (read in full...)

Does this sound like my boyfriend was molested by his dad?

Q.   I think my boyfriend was molested as a child. The even crazier thing is I suspect it was by his own parents. The first time I thought something was weird was because he told me he knew about sexual acts at a very pre mature age. He said when he was ...

A.   5 June 2013: Hi Can you private message me? ... (read in full...)

Mother, Baby, BF and financial Woes

Q.   Been seeing a guy from work for past 3 months, everything's going lovely, he is 54 and I'm 22! Yeah big age gap I know, I have a one year old but he's completely fine with that my issue is my mum, I currently live with her as she looks after my baby ...

A.   27 March 2013: Why doesn't your mum like your boyfriend? Have they ever spend time getting to know each other? Did your boyfriend try to improve your mum's impression of his?... (read in full...)

Why would my man choose to have fake Facebook pages? He gets angry with me. I'm troubled by why he does this

Q.   My husband and I just got married last year but we had a long relationship before that. We are expecting our first child and everything seems to be great. The only thing I just can’t understand about him is that he keeps having fake Facebook acc...

A.   23 March 2013: Usually when one has a fake facebook account, its either to spy on someone else or to befriend others. In your husband's case, he creates fake accounts but uses his real name. My guess is, he doesn't want someone to track him down if he were to use ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife?

Q.   Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife, she's got a lovely arse and she's the only person I want it with, we have been together for 20 + years and have a fantastic sex life, I'm just wondering if my penis would be too big for her, it's 6 ins but ...

A.   22 March 2013: It seems like most guys wanted to try anal sex and yes it is perfectly normal wanting to do with your wife. Afterall, which woman out there would want to have anal sex with you unless you have paid sex? The thing is, does she want it? It's her anus. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend his lateness is driving me mad?

Q.   Hello all I think my bf has issues with time management. He's a lovely guy and he tries his best to spend time with me despite his busy schedule. Sometimes when he says he would call at a certain time, he ends up calling an hour later. I wish he ...

A.   22 March 2013: I once have a girlfriend who used a tactic on her girlfriend who is always late. No matter how many times she tells the girl to be punctual, no matter how nicely she tells her or even if she is pissed off, the girl simply fail to be punctual. She ... (read in full...)

My daughter was bullied into sending a nude photo to a boy. What should I do?

Q.   Ok, so my 13 year old daughter comes to me in the middle of the night crying because she did something really bad. She said she was pressured into sending a photo of herself nude to a boy in her class. He was being really mean and bullying towards ...

A.   21 March 2013: I also agree to call the cops or at least notify the school. He needs to face disciplinary action and his parents need to be told. Don't wait until he did something before it's too late to salvage. You could tell the school to keep your daughter's ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend kissed a friend who likes him. I know he might let this happen again. What should I do?

Q.   I know a lot of people don't believe that kissing someone else is cheating but i do. Anyways, my boyfriend and I have been dating since June 2011, I didn't know at the time we began dating that one of his friends had feelings for him. He told me ...

A.   21 March 2013: First of all, when both of you were dating, he was not seeing her. He was single. So when both of you are in a relationship, it may appear as if you have snatched him from her but the fact was he was never hers to begin with. That was her own wrong ... (read in full...)

Two years ago I was a jerk, and I still miss her!

Q.   i had made a big mistake. there was a girl. we were good friends. i mean best friend until she went on to study to another city but we remain in contact and always texted and talked on phone.due to some issue we stopped talking.she said she have a ...

A.   21 March 2013: If she was the one who chose to stop contact without giving you a proper explanatiion, I don't think you are the jerk. A relationship takes two to clap. As much as you miss her and would like to rekindle the sparks, I would say it is time you should ... (read in full...)

Should I try to reconnect with my mother in law or not?

Q.   I am having a hard time reconnecting with my mother in law and don't know if I should. My mother in law has always been pretty nice to me, even though she said something very offensive about me before we even met. She did not want her son (my now-...

A.   20 March 2013: If I were you, I would forget about it. I mean, no point confronting her. If you were to be honest but frank with her, she might find you rude and disrespectful and have another chance to badmouth you. Also you have indicated that she is the type of ... (read in full...)

How can someone have such strong feelings about you and make serious promises then switch them off so suddenly?

Q.   Hello all..So I need some advice about my current ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure, but looking back I think he had bipolar disorder. He has never been diagnosed, not that i know of, but some of his behavior drove me crazy. When we first started sating he ...

A.   20 March 2013: He either is someone who is quick to promise without thinking hard about his promises if he could fulfill and get cold feet after that or he basically has serious mood swings and temperament problems and he has a tendency to take it out on his loved ... (read in full...)

Why would a man leave a classy woman for a piece of trash?

Q.   How can you be in love with someone and barely know them after 2 months of dating all you really do is talk on the phone you. You dont know nothing about this person I would think that first get to know a person before calling them your trophy or ...

A.   20 March 2013: With all due respect, a trashy woman in the eyes of someone could be deemed as a wonderful person in the eyes of another. Forgive me for saying this but usually when a relationship fails, both parties have to play a part. It's not just the fault of ... (read in full...)

Sleep deprived boyfriend has money for everything except an engagement ring. Should I cut my losses?

Q.   My boyfriend is sleep deprived. He gets about 4 hours of sleep per night. It's almost like a badge of honor for him that he works nights. He often talks about "day" people who get up in the morning, go to work and come home and eat dinner like ...

A.   13 March 2013: Seriously, I don't think he's gonna change. 2 years been together but he's telling you he doesn't have money to buy you an engagement ring, we're not even talking about a wedding ring. Yet he has all the money to buy whatever he fancies and the list ... (read in full...)

Why do I hurt people that love me unconditionally? How do I stop this?

Q.   i control my wife with passive-aggressive words, i challenge my kids about stupid things, stupid things that if my parents had said the same to me, i would have gone nuts about i try to control our finances so i can bye cannabis, spend to much of ...

A.   13 March 2013: You mentioned you would say the same things to your kids if your parents said to you before. May I ask how is your relationship with your parents? The way you treat your wife and kids, did your parents treat you the same way? ... (read in full...)

Do I look for sexual pleasure elsewhere since my wife has no interest?

Q.   We are both 60, very active and coming up to 30 years of marriage but we haven't had sex for three to four months. She has become very sore down below and despite visits to the doctor things are not getting better. Understandably perhaps her ...

A.   13 March 2013: Some guys I know could simply have intimacy even if the wife cannot have sex with him. They could stop at that. But some couldn't. OP, when you longed for intimacy as your wife couldn't have sex with you, has she ever been intimate with you and ... (read in full...)

Help! I need some support and advice about the actions and behaviour my boyfriend's sister. Is something going on or am I too suspicious?

Q.   I started dating my boyfriend (age 21) around 5 months ago. At this point, his sister (age 24), lived with his parents and he lived out of home. Within the first months of dating, his sister's behaviour was a litle questionable, and quite frankl...

A.   13 March 2013: Even her own mother admits that she is weird. I presume she behaves like this only in front of her brother and you? Assuming that she would have done it more outrageously when she is alone with him. I agree partly with the female anon. The ball... (read in full...)

My Bf claims a supportive girlfriend would stay awake with him everytime he can't sleep, How can I best support him?

Q.   Hi all, my problem is simple I need to know how to stay awake even when I'm really tired. My boyfriend has trouble sleeping and I really don't understand it because he says he can never sleep but by the time I wake up he's swaying back and forth a...

A.   12 March 2013: He is indeed childish as KC has put it. What he is doing is that he is imposing on you and each time you tried to do that for him but you failed, he is inducing guilt on you and making it seem as if it was your fault he loses sleep. I used to ... (read in full...)

Help! I need some support and advice about the actions and behaviour my boyfriend's sister. Is something going on or am I too suspicious?

Q.   I started dating my boyfriend (age 21) around 5 months ago. At this point, his sister (age 24), lived with his parents and he lived out of home. Within the first months of dating, his sister's behaviour was a litle questionable, and quite frankl...

A.   12 March 2013: Agree with Intrigued. If that was a common behavior even among her family members, esp that runs in the family, it could be a cultural shock for most people but something common among themselves. However, I feel that since you are the girlfriend, ... (read in full...)

Do I look for sexual pleasure elsewhere since my wife has no interest?

Q.   We are both 60, very active and coming up to 30 years of marriage but we haven't had sex for three to four months. She has become very sore down below and despite visits to the doctor things are not getting better. Understandably perhaps her ...

A.   12 March 2013: I agree with CindyCares. Some women I know of has such a problem even when they were younger and no amount of lubricant or foreplay could help them. I felt that your wife has been really accomodating to an extent she only stopped having sex and ... (read in full...)

Two years ago I was a jerk, and I still miss her!

Q.   i had made a big mistake. there was a girl. we were good friends. i mean best friend until she went on to study to another city but we remain in contact and always texted and talked on phone.due to some issue we stopped talking.she said she have a ...

A.   3 March 2013: May I ask what was the issue which caused both of you to stop talking? ... (read in full...)

Friday night? My Boyfriend of seven years has asked another woman to join us on our Friday night outring. Do I have a right to be miffed? What should I do?

Q.   Am I being spoilt and a pain? My Boyfriend of 7 years has asked a fellow dog walker to join us on our regular and special Fri nights out. I am sure their relationship is platonic but one can never be sure . I have met her on a few occasions a...

A.   3 March 2013: If he does invite others on and off, it is not a problem but he actually asked the woman to join you guys on a regular basis, then that is a problem, in my opinion. Also since it is something special just between the two of you except for some ... (read in full...)

Will my married lover leave his wife? Or just keep me holding on to hopelessness?

Q.   I have fallen in love with a married man. He has not divorced her. Our relationship has been 3 yrs. I want to end the relationship but things keep getting better between us. She was in an accident last year and still in recovery. I am unsure i...

A.   3 March 2013: If he really wanted to leave her for you, she would have done so during the 2 years before she got into the accident. Now that she needs him, he will tell you wait for a better time. When is a better time? ... (read in full...)

I got drunk and made out with co-worker. My husband said don't ever tell him if I cheat but I can't handle the guilt!

Q.   I did something awful and I don't know what to do. I was out of town for work and was hanging out with other people in my field. We were drinking and a man who's very well known in my field started paying attention to me and I was flattered even ...

A.   18 February 2013: I think its not about what others think but how could we give you insight from a third parties point of view and help you prevent it from recurring again. Like what Abella says, who hasn't err before? When a party cheats, often or not, both parties ... (read in full...)

Best friends nightmare son affecting our friendship! Help!

Q.   My best friend whom I love to bits has a four year old son that is a NIGHTMARE... I am pretty sure he is ADHD.. and I have commented about this before and she rejected that so fast! But he is such a nightmare to be around. When they come to my ...

A.   14 February 2013: My nephew is like that too. Although it would be nice to entrust the boy in the care of someone else she can trust, not everyone is patient to babysit him. The babysitter has to constantly keep an eye on the boy to make sure he is not doing ... (read in full...)

Did she end our friendship (again) because she likes my husband and cant stand seeing us happy?

Q.   So I've been best friends with a woman for 15 years. The first 5 we were inseperable. We met husbands around the same time 5 years later but after the birth of my son, she dropped me. I called and left messages but never heard from her again for 5 ...

A.   8 February 2013: It's pretty sad when you thought you have a good friend but she constantly likes to compare herself with you over everything. I mean who's comparing and what is there to compare? I believe she has strong inferiority complex. It could boil down to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been so supportive that I worry I'm becoming dependant on him.

Q.   I've been through a rough time recently, with depression and self harming. I've promised myself though that I won't ever hurt myself again and am currently not as depressed or low in mood as I have been compared to last week. The thing is, I've been ...

A.   8 February 2013: I agree with Iamheretohelpyou. I have depression for years and it only improved when I started seeing a psychiatrist and was on medication. I have a girlfriend who was suffering from bipolar and she would self harm for many years. Whenever she had ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been so supportive that I worry I'm becoming dependant on him.

Q.   I've been through a rough time recently, with depression and self harming. I've promised myself though that I won't ever hurt myself again and am currently not as depressed or low in mood as I have been compared to last week. The thing is, I've been ...

A.   8 February 2013: It really depends on how you feel. Frankly speaking, you are very sensible considering what you went through but you still wanted to be independent instead of being reliant on him. Are you seeing a therapist or counselor? Please do not take offence ... (read in full...)

My ex has moved on but I don't feel ready to

Q.   Hi I've quite recently just broken up with my girlfriend of 3 years (or so). I have been trying to distance myself from her for some time now but recently I have had to get back in contact. We still get on amazingly well (and I think I still lo...

A.   8 February 2013: Actually since both of you have broken up and you are not over her, why do you have to get contact? That ain't gonna help you. Now that you know that she is seeing someone, it's gonna make it worse. I would suggest you have to learn to give it ... (read in full...)

He's an older married man and the chemistry between the two of us is elecric. How can I get over this strong attraction?

Q.   Hello all I am separated. He is married. We work together. There is this crazy, undeniable electricity between us. Just hit us both out of the blue. We have known each other for a year in the workplace. It is at the point where when we look at each...

A.   8 February 2013: I agree with SVC. Most men from work I do know who flirt outrageously do not actually cheat on their wives whereas those who do cheat do surprise you as they don't flirt that much. I know there's exception but if you have been on DC long enough, you ... (read in full...)

I got drunk and made out with co-worker. My husband said don't ever tell him if I cheat but I can't handle the guilt!

Q.   I did something awful and I don't know what to do. I was out of town for work and was hanging out with other people in my field. We were drinking and a man who's very well known in my field started paying attention to me and I was flattered even ...

A.   7 February 2013: From the looks of it, your marriage is a happy one. Your husband tells you that he loves you. However, you did mention that this co-worker has been paying attention to you and you feel flattered although you were not attracted to him at all. Could... (read in full...)

Did she end our friendship (again) because she likes my husband and cant stand seeing us happy?

Q.   So I've been best friends with a woman for 15 years. The first 5 we were inseperable. We met husbands around the same time 5 years later but after the birth of my son, she dropped me. I called and left messages but never heard from her again for 5 ...

A.   7 February 2013: Her marriage ain't happy. Perhaps her husband couldn't be bothered to put in extra effort to make the sparks alive. Yours did and turned around. I guess she's jealous of the way your husband is treating her, why do you deserve all that whereas hers ... (read in full...)

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