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*HateWomanBeaters agony aunt

*HateWomanBeaters

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*HateWomanBeaters's profile:

In my short life, I have seen some amazing things and some equally disgusting things.

I am here to turn the disgusting things amazing.

A few examples might be

A. helping a child get out of a household where the step father abuses her and her mother sits by idly, whether out of fear or simple malice is beside the point.

B. Helping a victim of abuse become an independent individual that can accomplish his or her goals that he or she wanted to do for so long. (an example would be a 17 year old that was not allowed to go to school by her pedophile 27 year old bf that is now in premed to become an anesthesiologist)

C. In one case, getting a female police officer to arrest her own abuser.

Together we can do things to make this world a better place.

I intend on doing more than give advice. I will do what it takes to help others.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [14 pages, 515 answers]

He says he trusts me, but his actions say otherwise. What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't like my friends because of how they behave when they go out. For example, a friend of mine tells my boyfriend early one night that she is engaged to "john doe." Later that night she tells me, drunk and in the front of my ...

A.   22 August 2011: You need to think about self-preservation on both sides of the coin. First off, make sure that you don't do the same things that can bring you down as your friends do. More importantly, do not date a guy that cheats on you, yet doesn't trust yo... (read in full...)

Guys - which is best - your woman or porn?

Q.   A question for the straight guys: If your girlfriend/wife gave you the ultimatum to choose between her and porn, which would you choose? Regardless of her reason, would you choose her if you knew that you would never be allowed to look at porn...

A.   21 August 2011: If I was pleasing my wife sexually or my girlfriend sexually to their content and beyond, and I still watched porn, I would choose porn, because it represents something. When a woman or man puts an ultimatum out there that irrationally mak... (read in full...)

How do I moderate my behaviour and be a good girlfriend?

Q.   Sorry for any rambling but here is a quick low down of my situation. Basically,I have a boyfriend who is kind, sweet, ect. ect. I am not in love with him and doubt I ever will be but we are really close and I genuinely like him a lot and he knows...

A.   26 July 2011: You are changing for him, and what he needs is a woman that already is what he wants. That is what you need. You know, what you said is really, really hot to me; a woman that will do what I want, etc. However, it is a fantasy and it is not re... (read in full...)

Is there a subtle way to suggest trying bondage?

Q.   This is going to sound strange, but I want to experiment with bondage. I love being controlled in the bedroom and I want to ask my boyfriend about it. What is the most subtle way I can suggest this to him? Is there a subtle way to do this?...

A.   9 July 2011: They are both right. You should just tell him. I have been heavily involved in S&M for five years going on six. Always have a safeword and use it when you need to use it. Good luck! Enjoy yourself and don't be afraid to explore what ... (read in full...)

Does anyone have any advice for me until my doctor clears me?

Q.   I was raped two years ago, and the guy gave me HPV. I have been cleared of the virus, but I still have cancer cells that my doctor is trying to remove. He just performed a procedure where the cells were frozen. He has instructed me not to have sex ...

A.   29 June 2011: No, you are not the cause of this. The rapist is the cause of this. As for whether or not to have sex? The answer is no, because if you do give your boyfriend HPV, he is going to be fine, but assuming you two do not marry and live together... (read in full...)

I don't want to waste any time if he's going to cheat on me again!

Q.   So, I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years now. He has always been on the sorta jealous side and he has cheated on me in the past. I broke up with him for like 5 months and we ended up getting back together. He always blames me for cheating, ...

A.   16 June 2011: He is cheating on you still... If someone is going to call you and check up on you to make sure that you are where you claim to be, that is because they think if they are willing to cheat on you, you are willing to cheat on them. ... (read in full...)

I could be "the one" for him, but he pulled back

Q.   About six months ago I started becoming really good friends with this one guy, and I now consider him to be one of my best friends. We both like each other a lot. We started hanging out a lot more and we would do stuff such as kissing, etc. but we ...

A.   11 June 2011: He is playing the role of victim, and rejecting what he has in front of him, because he feels betrayed by the world. I agree with #1... Leave him be and he will come back for you when he is done saying "woe is me".... (read in full...)

My self image is shattered by BF's obsession.

Q.   All I want is to feel good enough for someone, ever since I found that my boyfriend looked at loads of pictures of women with large breasts I've never been the same. I have quite small breasts, and have always been a bit conscious of that. But when ...

A.   20 May 2011: oh wow... you never mentioned that he made fun of you and joked on you for your breasts. That guy is a real jerk off. You did the right thing by breaking up with him. ... (read in full...)

My self image is shattered by BF's obsession.

Q.   All I want is to feel good enough for someone, ever since I found that my boyfriend looked at loads of pictures of women with large breasts I've never been the same. I have quite small breasts, and have always been a bit conscious of that. But when ...

A.   11 May 2011: The fact of the matter is, he probably likes both! However, I am going to compare it to penis size. In an instance where a girl says I am not the biggest, when I ask, I don't feel inadequate, I strive to perform. I have always been the best per... (read in full...)

My boyfriend called me a slag even though I lost my virginity to him!

Q.   me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 to 6 months and have a good relationship we were getting over an arguement that was his fault so i was a bit heated at him when the question about sex came up. he was being abnoxious at the fact that i l...

A.   11 May 2011: ok.... male anon is an idiot. It does not matter one bit whether someone is a virgin or not when they meet you. this whole concept is childish. This whole relationship needs to end. ... (read in full...)

Should I jump the gun to let him know I want him?

Q.   If you felt that a man showed interest in you, would you reciprocate even further? There's a guy - an older man - at my university who I'm physically attracted to (just thinking about him turns me on!). He's recently let me know that he's noticed ...

A.   11 May 2011: If you like him, tell him! Games are for kids. I think he would consider you to be much more attractive and worth talking to if you indicate and reciprocate back. One thing that is a huge turnoff for me that I absolutely cannot deal w... (read in full...)

Why does my husband watch porn videos?

Q.   I been married for 8 years and I just found out that my husband likes to watch porn videos. And I don't know what to do about it? When we are in bed together he aways claims he is too tired (for sex) and I don't know what to do. I asked him if he is ...

A.   11 May 2011: Personally, I feel that these types of things are relationship killers, and they need to end. However, I also think talking to him first might be appropriate. First, tell him that you want to be intimate, and tell him how you feel about the l... (read in full...)

I'm being abused by my husband but have no where to go. Should I leave or stay?

Q.   hi, my husband has only increased his drinking since our marriage 8 years ago. he has quite grand ideas about himself and considers himself to be a blessing to humanity. He started physically abusing me from the 3rd month of getting married, even ...

A.   25 April 2011: The answer is... leave.... (read in full...)

My friend's dad beats her and I don't know what to do to help her

Q.   today my friend came over and started crying it took me 15 minutes to get her to tell me wats wrong...she told me that if she gets in trobule her dad will beat her mom and sometimes her..i'm soo scared for her i didnt know how to react when she ...

A.   25 April 2011: She is not thinking clearly. It is the same thing as not telling someone that your friend is going to commit suicide, because they won't be your friend anymore. A true friend will ALWAYS do what will be beneficial for the friend, even if ... (read in full...)

Bought a sex-toy, but I'm not sure if it is safe to use.

Q.   So, I have recently purchased a sex toy called "Ring o's" which is a small rubber hoop, which you put on the base of the penis, it is described as "enhancing the lastability and hardness". Now, I tried it out once, and it was pretty tight, so tight...

A.   25 April 2011: I would not use it, unless you have problems maintaining erections. There are several different sizes that you can use. If you are thick, then you have to use a bigger one than normal. The idea behind it is to keep the blood in, but not... (read in full...)

How can I move on in a respectful way?

Q.   I've always defended my other half, when friends and family have always told me I could do so much better. I've been with a man who drinks too much but won't get help, who has let me down many times over the year and and really I know, underneath ...

A.   25 April 2011: Love is not about the words you say to someone, but how you back those words up. If he says that he loves you, then he wouldn't do that. It is quite simple. ... (read in full...)

Why does she want to speak to me, after rejecting me?

Q.   Hi! I'm in love with a girl she is my collage mate. I proposed to her but she rejected me but she spoke to me for two months. This new year she suddenly stopped speaking to me, I asked her the reason but she said "no I don't want to speak to you". I ...

A.   25 April 2011: You don't love her. You are infatuated with her. Trust me. You cannot love someone that you do not know. Leave her be and get a realistic view of how people work. ... (read in full...)

Guy turned a 180 and is now ignoring me..

Q.   Sorry, this is long! I've just never been in this position. Okay so my friends introduced me to this guy about a month ago. We’re both 20. I guess he went to our high school freshman year, but I didn't remember ever seeing him. I guess like a month ...

A.   21 April 2011: It is easy to say things like, "good morning pretty lady", and how are you doing, and sweet dreams, etc. It is easy to act, but hard to back up your words.... (read in full...)

Why is he being like this with me?

Q.   Ok i hang out with a group of people, not to many but its a nice little group, 2 of them are a couple but theres me and this guys thats known each other a while. I used to invite him out. But i dont even feel like he respects me as a friend. Its ...

A.   20 April 2011: I am one to cut people off right away if they piss me off. If they act one way and do something else, it is game over. I literally talk to about 70 girls a year and will end it abruptly, and give a real reason vs the cold shoulder crap. However, ... (read in full...)

Guy turned a 180 and is now ignoring me..

Q.   Sorry, this is long! I've just never been in this position. Okay so my friends introduced me to this guy about a month ago. We’re both 20. I guess he went to our high school freshman year, but I didn't remember ever seeing him. I guess like a month ...

A.   20 April 2011: Leave the guy. DO not talk to him again. He is jealous and insecure. Do not hang out with him again. Seriously... (read in full...)

Husband found out about an encounter I had before we met and now wants to leave

Q.   I had sex with my stepfather when i was 33 yrs old i was very drunk, i don't remember much, this was a year before i met my husband. After 10 years together he found out and wants to leave me. He said he can't handle the fact that this happened and ...

A.   20 April 2011: Well, when someone keeps their rapist close to them, it does seem kind of hard to believe that it was actually rape. Stay far away from your step father if he actually forcibly raped you, vs you being drunk and him being drunk as well. If he a... (read in full...)

Do long distance relationships ever work?

Q.   i really like this guy but we are both afraid of becoming too close due to our distance. do long distance relationships ever really work? in this case both people would be as devoted as possible....

A.   11 April 2011: Hi. I think that they can work, and that if you are willing to put forth the colossal effort required, absolutely! However, I personally would talk to that person and keep my options open until you are absolutely positive you want to commit. ... (read in full...)

How do I make things work with my best friend and my boyfriend?

Q.   My best friend is starting to ditch me because I'm with my boyfriend too much at school instead of how it used to be with just me and her.. I don't want her to feel forgotten but I also want to be with him and have been with him for a long time. ...

A.   9 April 2011: Well, you can find out more accurately if you feel he is controlling you by going off this checklist of things. Does your partner… ____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family? ____ Put down your accomplishments or goa... (read in full...)

Is it right to stay in this relationship when I am hurting myself so badly?

Q.   I dont want to love him anymore. For months of our relationship i found out that he had a live in partner and they are living together,ofcourse. Three months when we're together i found out that she was fregnant but i love him so much and i can't...

A.   9 April 2011: Are you saying that your boyfriend is sleeping with his female roommate and she is pregnant by him? If so, LEAVE. He doesn't need you, and you most certainly don't need him.... (read in full...)

We fought over housecleaning and he walked out. How do I make him understand?

Q.   Ok, living with my boyfriend is killing me! Lately we have been arguing because he doesn't clean up after himself. I do all the cleaning and I don't mind seen as I don't work as much as him but the guy does nothing and when he eventually does ...

A.   8 April 2011: You have told him a million times that he needs to clean up after himself. He is slovenly, a pig, and does not even shower in the morning before work. Dump him.... (read in full...)

My love has faded. Is this just a phase, or should I call it quits?

Q.   i have been with my bf for over a year and i feel as though we have drifted apart i never see him (with the hours he works and what i work, even though we live together). and when we talk it is only really because i come home from work and he has ...

A.   8 April 2011: I don't buy into the idea that your relationship is meant for marriage, especially since you have met, done all the adult stuff, loved, and lost love in just over a year. I would call it quits, honestly. Relationships are not supposed... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend was so large I'm afraid its ruined me for anyone else!

Q.   Hello, agony aunts. Thanks in advance for reading my question, and for any thoughtful advice or answers. I have recently come out of a two year long relationship and I am now fresh on the single scene. My ex and I got together when we were bot...

A.   8 April 2011: I read your followup and I am glad I read what I read, minus one thing. Don't have a set time limit where you must wait 1 year to have sex, etc. Trying to predict when sex is okay to have in a relationship is a bad idea. If you feel right h... (read in full...)

Advice on rebuilding my life and moving on after abuse has ended

Q.   Dear Aunts and Uncles, Firstly thank you so much for taking time to read my question. I really do need help. I have recently come out of an abusive relationship, I have been out for roughly three months. It was a terrible experience that h...

A.   8 April 2011: Sometimes, what we have to do, in order to build a good life, we have to tear the old one down.. You have torn all the bad out of your life, and now you have the materials to build the foundation for a great new one. Take some time to work on ... (read in full...)

I've never felt passion for my husband

Q.   I married very young to a really good guy that I dated exclusively for 3 years during high school. We have been married for almost 20 years and things are good... gets better each year. I am thankful that I chose well and life has been good. To ...

A.   8 April 2011: Yes there is. Put yourself in this scenario. You are walking on the beach and you stumble upon a lamp. You pick it up, rub it, and out comes a genie. The genie says, "Thank you for setting me free, as a reward, I will grant you three ... (read in full...)

I'd like to have sex once a day, not once a week!

Q.   For the past few years, my sex drive has been so much higher than my husband's. I am starting to feel like a big old slut in comparisson. We usually have sex about once a week, but really, I would rather once a day. I'm starting to take this ...

A.   8 April 2011: Don't fall for stupid bullshit like the word slut. That is a subjective word that only imbeciles and jackasses take seriously. With that said, have you tried to communicate with your husband on the matter? Relationships are abo... (read in full...)

How do I make things work with my best friend and my boyfriend?

Q.   My best friend is starting to ditch me because I'm with my boyfriend too much at school instead of how it used to be with just me and her.. I don't want her to feel forgotten but I also want to be with him and have been with him for a long time. ...

A.   8 April 2011: Normally, the best friend does not react that way unless they feel that the boyfriend, in this case, is forcing you away from your friends, etc. Is there any signs that he is controlling you? ... (read in full...)

How do you get away from a manipulator?

Q.   How do you get away from a manipulator? My bf and I have been together over 2 years. Its long distance as he lives in the states. We met online and its definitely been a roller coaster from the jump. He's "cheated" on me with many other women on...

A.   8 April 2011: This is a long distance relationship. Change your number and make your online accounts private. He is done with. If he decides to stalk you for real and find where you live, thats what a restraining order is for. I don't think he wou... (read in full...)

After I had sex with him he told me he was involved with another girl!

Q.   Hello, So I've always liked this guy. Ever since middle school I've had the biggest crush on him. I'm in college now, and we've just started corresponding last summer. We used text each other about once a week or so. I could tell he was generall...

A.   8 April 2011: Let him go, not worth your time. ... (read in full...)

A Greek mythological name for my daughter?

Q.   I am 7 months pregnant with a little girl and im having a really hard time finding a name for her since i dont like traditional names much im looking for unique names does anyone have any suggestions. I love greek mythology and dark beautiful names ...

A.   8 April 2011: First off, congratulations to you! Second, I just read the story of Echo, and it is really a dark, and sad, but really good story from Greek Mythology as well. Nyx is "Nox" in Roman translation, so perhaps Nox Echo or Echo Nox so as to sound ... (read in full...)

One aspect of boyfriends behaviour frustrating me.

Q.   My boyfriend gets angry whenever i become a little possessive about him.I dont like it at all that other girls try and draw his attention and if i tell him about it he gets upset.even in office i dont like him borrowing a shawl from any girl to wrap ...

A.   8 April 2011: You have issues and are insecure with yourself. That is why you do not want your boyfriend to be around other women. You feel they are better than you. If you continue on your path, then you will have proven that statement right. I th... (read in full...)

Do men become immune to small fights?

Q.   **Sorry to re-post my question but I didn't receive any answers :(** Is it normal for men to become 'immune' to small fights and arguments? My fiance just doesn't seem to care about talking things out, but would rather sweep it under the rug and ...

A.   6 April 2011: It is not normal and a lack of communication at such an early stage in a committed relationship means that it is not going to change. I recommend you suggest him changing or you guys not getting married. He does not have the right to get engage... (read in full...)

Help! I think my boyfriend is sleeping with his younger sister!

Q.   Help! I think my boyfriend is sleeping with his younger sister! I have no proof, what should I do? They both smoke pot, and talk about porn and things....He has even told me that he thinks his sister looks like Angelina Jolie (v.unlikely) and this...

A.   5 April 2011: We are focusing on the wrong thing... But to satisfy your question... Your rationale is being wrongly influenced by your past. 1. What is the violent situation? 2. Family is not family if hey disown you for having someone of a different f... (read in full...)

Should I date a guy who is recently divorced?

Q.   hi this is gonna be quite long and a bit weird so im sorry. ive been friends with this guy for years. i mean we grew up together; he was an older brother. he got married out of necessity because he got this girl pregnant and he felt bad so they...

A.   5 April 2011: This guy is not traumatized by the divorce. He was traumatized by the marriage. In most divorce cases, people do not need "recovery time". People need real connections and real intimacy. You already have that base of friendship and y... (read in full...)

How do I make my cousin realize my deep feelings for him?

Q.   Hi! My matter is verrry complicated! Please give me a solution! How can I win his heart? How can I make him talk to me ? Be mine? I don't know whether it's love or not, whatever it is, I like my cousin a lot. He does not live in the same country ...

A.   5 April 2011: Ignore people that say. OH MY GOD IT IS ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!!! Duh it is illegal, duh it's incest, duh duh duh. We understand. It is like saying MARIJUANA IS ILLEGAL! Well, who gives a fuck. To answer your question. It depends. I have been... (read in full...)

My parents don't approve of our relationship and no longer trust me

Q.   Hey, I'm kinda in rut now and i need advice pronto! I dated this guy for about 2 years, even though my parents did not approve of the relationship. Ever since then, my parents stopped trusting me. It was hell for me. When i'm out with friends, my ...

A.   5 April 2011: Choose between true love or racism. It is your choice. Know that they are bigots and you love this guy who supposedly treats you right. If he does treat you right, then disappoint the people that treat you wrong. Marrying to satisfy your par... (read in full...)

Husband cant satisfy me because of premature ejaculation.... perhaps I need to have my physical needs met elsewhere?

Q.   I love my husband very much. We did not have a lot of sex before we married, so it wasn't until after our wedding that I confirmed that he has premature ejaculation. This has effected every single time we have had sex for the past two years, without ...

A.   5 April 2011: You should talk to a doctor with him. Premature ejaculation can be fixed.... (read in full...)

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