I am 13 and in love with my bf, is it too soon to plan a future together?
Q. My bf *ethan* and I have been together for 7 months. We're both 13 and I have been thru so much pain torture and scariness that I learn not to trust many people. Him and I are completley in love....I have never felt like i do about him. i''ve never ...
A. 18 June 2011: What harm can there be in planning your future? It is just a plan, what harm can there be in drawing up a plan? I can plan to fly to the moon in the next 10 years. It might sound unrealistic, but if I really want to fly to the moon, it surely won't ... (read in full...)
According to the rules of dating, should I text my bf to tell him whenever I am going out?
Q. I just want to know what are the rules of dating? Am i supposed to let the person know when I'm going out or not?...simple as that..I'm dating a guy but I'm not sure if he's serious cuz I always am the one who texts him no matter what and he texts ...
A. 18 June 2011: I would think if you are dating, you are not under any obligation to let him know where you are at any given point in time. However, you need to ask whose dating rules you want to date by. There are "the rules" which are the socially accepted norms, ... (read in full...)
How does ballet "objectify" women?
Q. How does ballet objectify women? I am a dancer, I've danced for 7 years, and i do ballet, jazz, tap, and pointe but have also done lyrical and jazz funk. I heard recently that ballet apperently "objectifies women". I have never felt this way, ever. ...
A. 17 June 2011: Interesting question. Ballet is a dance form, most would say it is intended to be an expression of artistry through physical movement. It involves a high degree of technical ability which has to be gatherd through hard work in combination with ... (read in full...)
I kept my love for my teacher a secret all through high school; now that I'm in university I learn he has a girlfriend
Q. Hello there, I fell in love with a young man, who unfortunately happened to be my high school teacher. Although he was not involved with anyone during my high school years, I knew the implications of being in love with a teacher so I kept silent...
A. 17 June 2011: Lets talk about the differences between being in love and being in a relationship.
Being in love has to do with the way you feel about someone, and the way you are connected with them. It is your measured through your internal experien... (read in full...)
Is it true that the one who cares the least has the most power in a relationship?
Q. they say the one that cares the least has the most power- is this true? Boy, am i in trouble. I care the most....
A. 16 June 2011: That depends on how far your care reaches. If you care the most but your care only extends to him, then he will have the most power. If you care the most, but you care about yourself as much as you care about him, you have the most power.
Peopl... (read in full...)
Is it possible that professionals cannot diagnose ED?
Q. Is it really possible not be able to diagnose, cause of sexual dysfunction by professionals? They say,they dont know... How common is that, that you go to the doctors and they say, well I don't know why do you have this problem. I have a longstand...
A. 16 June 2011: Doctors will be looking for something physical. You might be physically fine. If that is the case, it is emotional most likely. The other indicator that it is emotional is the statement "I can't even tell my wife". It sounds like there is a kind of ... (read in full...)
Caught my dad red handed with porn, what do I do?
Q. I don't know wha to do. This evening I walked down stairs to find my Dad in the sitting room on his own watching "Pornhub". He wasn't doing any hand 'business' but it was clear what was going on. I dont mention it at the time. But i am now left ...
A. 12 June 2011: It is normal for family to have arguments, but it is unacceptable for you dad to be pushing you and causing you harm. It is also unacceptable for him to destroy a door, this behaviour would be threatening for you and your mum. This behaviour is ... (read in full...)
I gave her my all, but was it enough?
Q. I just turned seventeen this week. I met a girl over the summer and fell in love with her. Just the way she looked at me and the way she would smile just blew me away. a month and a half into the relationship I lost my virginity to her, wasn't p...
A. 10 June 2011: Sometimes when a relationship ends, it really isn't because you did anything wrong, it might not have anything to do with you. Even if you do everything right, it still doesn't work out. That's sad, and maybe sad for her too, but it is comforting to ... (read in full...)
Relationships and titles...
Q. When in a relationship, how important is a title (boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, etc) to you? Does it matter if you have a title or not? Do you think a title means committment? Very interested in hearing your thoughts... ...
A. 10 June 2011: Titles are important because they have meaning attached to them, significance. They might mean different things to different people, and have more or less significance, but they do have significance, and they do mean something to everyone. We change ... (read in full...)
He apologized, but I can't get over why he asked me this!
Q. Husband told me he wanted to have sex with another women. It really up set me that he told me this. We have had a three-some before and have a pretty good sex life. He has apologized over and over for saying but I can't seem to get over it. My ...
A. 10 June 2011: The main thing about this post that sticks out is the line "I don't know what this means". You aren't communicating properly with your husband. Ask him what it means. Ask him if he wants to swing or divorce. Ask him what was behind his intentions. ... (read in full...)
Can a 20 year age difference really make him feel that insecure?
Q. I have had a friend for over 8 years now. There has always been an attraction between us we have never acted on it. We never really discussed age etc it was never an issue. I knew he was older than me (he is a young looking active attractive man)but ...
A. 10 June 2011: He might be uncomfortable, because it is a risk for both of you. He might be insecure thinking about what you will want when you are 45 and he is 65, as someone already mentioned. You mention he isn't comfortable with the age difference, but you ... (read in full...)
I fancy his personality, not his looks. Is that shallow?
Q. i really like this boy at college, and i no he likes me too as hes told me, we flirt all the time and we recently went on a residential trip with college and we was together all the time, everyone noes we like each other and asking why we are not ...
A. 10 June 2011: Just take a little more time. If your connection and chemistry grow over time, eventually how he looks will lose its focus for you, and you will just be into him. If you get to that point, go out with him. If he wants to know what is going on, be ... (read in full...)
Caught my dad red handed with porn, what do I do?
Q. I don't know wha to do. This evening I walked down stairs to find my Dad in the sitting room on his own watching "Pornhub". He wasn't doing any hand 'business' but it was clear what was going on. I dont mention it at the time. But i am now left ...
A. 10 June 2011: Most of the advice you have recieved so far is something like "don't say anything, don't do anything, its none of your business." That is most people's response to discussing other people's sex lives with them, particularly your parents. Most people ... (read in full...)
Would it be weird if I was just to be blunt and say we should go out sometime?
Q. I'll make this quite short. So basically there is a guy at work that I like and I think the feeling is mutual. By like I mean we both find each other attractive and we do flirt with each other when we can. We do talk sometimes, but because of work ...
A. 10 June 2011: Dating has always been a little weird, and these days with all the rules and influence of the media, it is weirder than ever. Being direct is a great way to cut through all that bullshit. Its a great idea to say "Hey you're nice, I like you, do you ... (read in full...)
Just when I decided to give our relationship a real try, he goes distant and uninterested!
Q. I was seeing a guy who was really into me. A really great guy but I guess I was questioning my feelings a little, it sounds terrible but I'm sure most people would agree that when someone's too keen at the start it makes you less keen, or wanting it ...
A. 10 June 2011: It is natural to run from something that is chasing you. If a dog starts chasing you, you run. If a group of cows starts chasing you, you run. If a guy starts chasing you, you run. Its natural. If a guy chases you and he doesn't get enough back, or ... (read in full...)
Fallen for b/f's brother?!
Q. i need help i really really fancy my boyfriends brother. we both had a night we shared for a kiss and a lil sexual encounter. we both didnt regret it but we both said it feels so right but so wrong with the complications. now i cant him out my head. ...
A. 10 June 2011: There is often a heightened sexual attaction between people and their partner's siblings, because they are forbidden territory, off limits. Most people don't go there because they would not want to betray their brother or sister in that way, it is ... (read in full...)
This guy is a little shy so it's hard to tell.
Q. Help! there is this guy that i really like i like him for several reasons but one is because he is super sweet and seems really respectful but i feel like i don't actually know much about him but anyways i need to know your opinion on weather he ...
A. 10 June 2011: I can't be sure if he likes you or not, it seems like it, but you sound pretty sure that you like him :) maybe let him know, and ask if he wants to hang out with you after school?
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I still do love her. And I do want her back. So how can I get her to come back to me?
Q. hey my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and we were together for 1 year and a half. Tomorrow is the last day of school. but she completely changed. now all she does is hang around the people I'm jealous of, she sings a lot now and she only sang in ...
A. 10 June 2011: Why do you want to be back with someone who doesn't love you, treats you badly, and has completely changed from the person you used to know? Is it because "you love her"? Relationships require two people's love, not one, you can love her but you ... (read in full...)
Trust - can it either make or break a relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a question. My bf cheated on me a while back so we broke up and I tried to see other people but I couldn't. We worked things out but the trust is still not there. What can I do to trust him again or what can he do to gain my ...
A. 10 June 2011: Yes, trust can make or break a relationship, and I don't think a relationship can survive long term without trust. People have to be trusting and trustworthy. In other words, you need to be able to trust him, and especially in light of the fact that ... (read in full...)
Split up with my GF, did I do the right thing?
Q. I have broken up with my girlfriend after bieng together a few years. She wouldnt let me see my friends She over reacted at the smallest things She worshiped me too much. She had loads of insecurities and pushed them onto me Did I do th...
A. 10 June 2011: Breaking up with her is one way to let her know that you aren't prepared to put up with all of those things, and that you don't like the relationship running the way that it is. Another way is to stay in the relationship and tell her all of the ... (read in full...)
I like him too much to let him walk away but I also don't want to pester him!
Q. So i recently broke up with my boyfriend after about a year and 8 months.. because i had feelings for another guy. I got really into this other guy and we were getting on soo well, we'd never made anything official but he told me he liked me a ...
A. 10 June 2011: Take some time to think about what you want to happen with him, given the circumstances, and then tell him. That's it. He is obviously not sure what he wants to do so he is avoiding you, and your feeling that pestering him is a bad idea is probably ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in puppy love?
Q. A couple years ago, there was this guy I had a huge crush on. He asked me out and we had a happy relationship, but then I had to move to a different school. We promised to keep in touch, but we just didn't, and after a while, we moved on with our ...
A. 10 June 2011: You do not need to wonder how things were meant to be or not. All things that are meant to be will happen, if they are meant to be, you don't need to think about it. What is important to realise is that you play an active role in the things that ... (read in full...)
Haven't even been on their first date yet and they're already in love!
Q. What is going on with my friend? Lets call her A. A recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months. Lets call him B. Apperently A dumped B, but i don't know why. About two weeks later, she was asked out by this guy (C) that she liked before but ...
A. 10 June 2011: There are many experiences in life that people give the word love to, and many reasons why people say I love you.
For some people, especially young people, love can be that connection that they feel with someone they are getting to know well for... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but says he loves me, should I believe his words?
Q. I have been with a guy for 6 months now. When we met, it was supposed to be a one time sex thing. But we fell in love. I knew he had a girlfriend, she is 20 yrs younger than him. We recently had a talk about "us" and he begged me to stay with him ...
A. 9 June 2011: This is really simple. You don't need to be unsure of whether or not he means what he says, because what he says is irrelevant, it is what he does that counts, and it comes down to what you do also.
At the moment, he is controlling this situatio... (read in full...)
Is it normal to search the Internet for sexual content in my spare time?
Q. Is it normal if i have the tendency to search for sexual contents in the internet whenever I have spare time? I want to stop, as what I read or see keep popping out in my mind during my daily activities, but I just can't stop my "addiction". What to ...
A. 9 June 2011: It is normal for people to seek out sexually stimulating content, and it can become addictive in this way. You are curious, and at an age when it is normal to be sexually curious, but you are also starting to learn how it feels for something to ... (read in full...)
Why do I get sexually stimulated so quickly whenever I make out with my bf?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together over a year and it's only been the last 4 months we've been sexually active. We've done everything but sex; masturbating each other, oral (inc. 69er). I just seem to get so horny as soon as we get in, h...
A. 9 June 2011: Why do i get so horny so quickly?
Some people get more horny quicker or slower than others, and it also depends how much physical chemistry you have with your partner, but you are designed to get horny to someone that you are attracted to that you ... (read in full...)
I believe I am doing the right thing, but would like reassurance.
Q. Hello everyone, I recently posted a problem about how the internet conversations with this boy I met briefly were getting a little serious, and how I was confused being only 15 and getting myself into a silly situation without realizing it. An...
A. 9 June 2011: This is great experience for you. Notice how you were confused about something, so you started to write it down just putting your thoughts on paper, and eventually how you feel about the problem becomes clearer? Sometimes writing helps, sometimes ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My marriage is falling apart.
Q. Married 45 yrs-I can`t do anything right for wife anymore..No sexual relations now for 2 years--I`m not interested !! We constantly argue over unimportant things. I've tried very hard to keep the marriage going but I`m losing any motivation to go on...
A. 9 June 2011: It takes two to argue. Do you know why you argue with her over things that are unimportant? Have you asked her what she thinks you could do in order to make your marriage better? Have you asked her what she thinks she could be doing better? Have you ... (read in full...)
Why is she trying to break us up? We don't even know her. Help!
Q. I've just started dating a girl and a complete stranger to both of us has just started emailing my girlfriend telling her I'm a fake and that I'm not genuine, I'm really confused because I've never spoken to this person before and neither has my ...
A. 8 June 2011: Invite them to tell you, or your girlfriend, to your face. Or, tell them that your girlfriend got the email that they wrote and that you both know they tried to send it as if it was from you, so you both know not to believe them, and that they are ... (read in full...)
My mum was caught cheating on my dad! How do we get over this?
Q. My sister just rang and told me she found another man in bed with my mother. We speculated mum was cheating on dad for a while, she swore on our lives and our childrens lives that she has and never would cheat on my dad...and now this has ...
A. 8 June 2011: Your mother's affair is a result of a breakdown in her relationship with your father, and they both need to take responsibility for that. I know you are angry and upset with her and her actions, which is fair enough as this was not the only choice ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women rub their breasts on men, when talking?
Q. Why do some women press and rub their breasts into you when they talk to you? This seems to happen frequently, especially when going to bars and parties with friends. These are happily married women. Actually, the single women I know do not do ...
A. 8 June 2011: For some women it can be a subtle way of flirting, sometimes even unconscious, for other women they don't really consider their breasts as sexually as men do, so they are unaware that it is happening or its just not a big deal to them. My money is ... (read in full...)
Which is worse, her cheating or my looking at her email?
Q. Long story short, girl I was seeing I found out was having sexy liaisons on the Internet with a couple of guys she knows. They didn't have sex or were intimate (I don't think, anyway) but exchanged a bunch of messages like "I miss you" or computer ...
A. 8 June 2011: Unfortunately, it is not exactly clear from what you have written that her actions constitute any kind of untrustworthy or inappropriate behaviour, because they are out of context.
She may have flirted with with the guys she knows in that way... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my former ex-FWB's sister's boyfriend. But I'm afraid my ex will find out!
Q. I used to date "joe" for a month when he broke up with me. I really like Joe and we decided to stay friends with benefits. Joe cheats on his girlfriend and I have always felt like a horrible person. Then, Joe finally told me he had sex with his girl ...
A. 8 June 2011: Wanting to have sex with someone that you are attracted to does not make you a whore. Having sex is not the issue. The issue is that having sex will involve betrayal to others. To have sex with someone who's girlfriend loves him, and who you know ... (read in full...)
Give up or hold on?! How can perfection. Just stop
Q. My question involves abit of a background so here goes, I have been with this girl for three year we met in high school and were extremely close we did everything, and were madly inlove we went to the same college, and always were staying over at ...
A. 8 June 2011: You can only keep up the relationship if both of you agree to it, and she does not. You cannot make her decision for her, she has to do that, and if she decides she doesn't want to have a long distance relationship, you cannot have a one sided ... (read in full...)
Husband with my friend he cheated with, our son doesn't want to go with his dad now and I'm a mess!
Q. I am such a mess, how am I going to get through this, I can't stop crying, I just want the pain to go away, how am I going to cope? Long story short, my husband cheated on me with my friend 3 months ago, he is in a relationship with her and living w...
A. 8 June 2011: You are spending so much time worrying about your son, and your son's relationshp with his father, that you aren't spending enough time worrying about youself, and doing what you need to take care of yourself. You need a break, you need support, and ... (read in full...)
I need to move on after I misled this person with fake pictures, how do I do that??
Q. I posted the question about meeting a girl for the first time and coming out about using fake pictures. I finally came clean and turns out, it didnt end so well. She infact loved the pictures she saw not so much the person or my heart. I figured ...
A. 8 June 2011: Your assumption that she liked the pictures, and not the person you are, is not necessarily accurate. The reason is that the person you are is also different from the person you represented online.
What I mean is, in real life you may be a wonder... (read in full...)
We had potential but I ruined it!
Q. Hey all, Basicly i just want to ask for some advice on what to do next. i got with this guy, let's call him 'K', at a club one night and we stuck together and had been on 3 dates. On our 3rd date we went clubbing together and i did some...
A. 8 June 2011: You're welcome. There isn't always a way to get over someone quickly. We can't escape from the things that make us sad, frustrated, disappointed, angry, we have to work through them till they are resolved. It can be helpful for you to get to the ... (read in full...)
I have a lot of big problems, appreciate any suggestions where I could find help??
Q. How can you find help, if your problems are very unique? I tried to get help for years, for my problems, from psychologists and counselors , but even them, they rated them to difficult to deal with. As many big problems in life gets tangled up, and ...
A. 8 June 2011: Firstly, you are right your problems are unique, but this is true of everyone. People may have similar conditions, but everyone's life experience is unique, and their problems are too. Having unique problems does not prevent you from solving your ... (read in full...)
We had potential but I ruined it!
Q. Hey all, Basicly i just want to ask for some advice on what to do next. i got with this guy, let's call him 'K', at a club one night and we stuck together and had been on 3 dates. On our 3rd date we went clubbing together and i did some...
A. 6 June 2011: Try writing a letter to yourself. Part of the letter can be all the things you would like to say to him, and all the things you would like to say to yourself, about what happened. Then you could write about what you learned, what was negative about ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend almost hit me, did I make the wrong choice by forgiving him?
Q. 2 days ago i was at my boyfriends house (we r both 18 and have been together for 2 years) and he was studying for some upcoming test. I was getting bored so I started talking to him asking him questions like "how is the studying going" etc. I"ll ...
A. 6 June 2011: Pursuing this relationship does represent a risk. Your bf might be testing the waters to see how you react to his violence, and his violence might escalate, it often does. However, it might not. Your bf might be at an emotional crossroads in his ... (read in full...)
Siblings before spouse and family
Q. I have been married 14 years to the love of my life, and she claims the same is true for her. But in the last couple of years she has been funneling a lot of our money to her sister. She's done this without telling me. Lately it's only one sister, ...
A. 4 June 2011: Your wife has no right to take funds that belong to both of you and do anything with it without your agreement, if they are joint finances it takes a joint agreement, it is not her money to give. Not only did she not have your consent, she did not ... (read in full...)
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