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*doneitagain

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< Prev1234567891011Next > [14 pages, 512 answers]

Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...

Q.   My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...

A.   5 August 2011: Have you tried communicating about this issue? Like I said before, I don't mean striking up a conversation randomly, I mean setting aside a time and a place without distractions where you can sit and face your fears? You may be right, he might ... (read in full...)

Should he have asked me first before going and making these plans?

Q.   My husband just informed me he asked two of his single guy friends to go on a roadtrip to see a baseball game. He didn't ask me before he asked them and I know these guys are single and always looking for women. should he have asked me first before ...

A.   4 August 2011: Even though he is married, he does not have to answer to you when making decisions about his own life. A loving partner will take their partner into consideration always, but it is ok for him to make his own plans. He doesn't have to check ... (read in full...)

A life without sex?

Q.   I'm 35 years old and I have been married for 8 years. My wife says she only wants to be friends and nothing more. We haven't had sex in a year. I love my wife and I dont want to leave her but its very hard to live without sex. I workout 3 days a ...

A.   4 August 2011: When something like this comes up, the lack of willingness or interest in sex, or the aversion to sex, has underlying emotions. There is a reason behind it, and you don't know what that reason is. She might not either. The way to find out what is ... (read in full...)

Could this technique help people to keep that 'honeymoon' feeling forever?

Q.   Hey everyone, i've read loads of great advice on here about the 'honeymoon phase' of relationships, and how this fades in time in all relationships, and it leaves me wondering why we stay in long term relationships then? The honeymoon phase is great ...

A.   4 August 2011: There are several reasons why people stay in long term relationships. Firstly, to successfully raise children in a healthy emotional environment. Ironically, often long term relationships are not healthy emotional environments, but when it works... (read in full...)

Is it an out of body experience?

Q.   is it true that the big jumpy feeling you get when you're asleep, like you're falling, is reallly your body trying to keep your soul from leaving your body? like an out of body experience? ...

A.   4 August 2011: No one knows the truth about this, there are only theories, and no one can know what your experience is like. You are the only one who has your experience, so you will have to decide with theory most closely matches your experience. However, most ... (read in full...)

Is this cheating?

Q.   Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...

A.   4 August 2011: Yes, it is cheating because it is a breach of trust. It is like planning to commit a murder and getting busted before you have a chance to commit the murder. You haven't committed a murder, but it is still a crime, you are still breaking the law. ... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for my friend's 16 year old son, how can I make this go away?

Q.   Well here goes : i'm just 40 (look about 30-32-so i'm told)n seem to be having a mid-life crisis!! I've lost over 6 stone and feel great. Background: I'm married with 2 young children and a lovely caring husband who is the same age. Problem: ...

A.   4 August 2011: Whoops, managed to click send without finishing my answer :) The end of the second last paragraph should read: ... the kind of relationship you have now would not stay the same if you were to try and make the relationship more than what it is ... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for my friend's 16 year old son, how can I make this go away?

Q.   Well here goes : i'm just 40 (look about 30-32-so i'm told)n seem to be having a mid-life crisis!! I've lost over 6 stone and feel great. Background: I'm married with 2 young children and a lovely caring husband who is the same age. Problem: ...

A.   4 August 2011: Humans are designed to live in loving harmony with other humans, play together, have fun, enjoy life, be creative and spontaneous. We also have to work to create the world we want, deal with our responsibilities, and with the complexities of life. ... (read in full...)

Pain after sex? is this normal?

Q.   My fiance and ENjoy really rough sex every now and then. we like to use toys. we always use lube. the other night we used one bigger than normal and very roughly and very deep. i started having some bleeding about two days later. still pretty steady ...

A.   4 August 2011: Internal pain and steady bleeding is a normal result for having sustained an injury. Go to the doctor. It could just be bruising, but it could also be more serious than you realise, I would get it checked out asap. Delaying or putting it off could ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has cheated on me. How can I get through this?

Q.   My boyfriend cheated on me. We've been together 10 months and the girl told me. She didn't know he had a girlfriend. I love my boyfriend soooo much. I truly thought he was one of the few people I could really trust. He was sweet and nice to me ...

A.   3 August 2011: If you did have a fight where you said you didn't want to be together with him any more, and told him mean things, I think you need to understand how hurtful it might have been for him to hear that, he might have felt that he was truly losing you, ... (read in full...)

Is he going to break up with his other woman? Should I give him a second chance?

Q.   A bit long but please read and advice! :( I met my boyfriend at work. We work in the same department. He was separated from his wife (they are yet to divorce) while I was single when we first met. We started out as friends and then graduall...

A.   3 August 2011: People need a reason to change. This is a guy who has a history of cheating, so it is the pattern of behaviour that he is comfortable with, and likely to fall back into. It seems he is not secure in relationships, and needs the security of someo... (read in full...)

Three years together, then we have sex and he breaks up with me the next day!

Q.   My partner (who is 37) left me (mid twenties) after having sex with me. I had been with my partnr for three years and last week, we finally had sex. At first I wanted to wait, as I had never had sex before and was afraid it would hurt and I wasn't ...

A.   3 August 2011: Having bad sex does not cause people to do a runner. He has done a runner because the prospect of the growing level of intimacy between the two of you is scary for him, if he has the kind of self esteem issues that would prevent him from having sex ... (read in full...)

She is still with her thuggish boyfriend. Should I pursue her again or not?

Q.   So this time last year everything was perfect, I had the girl, the money and the friends. In september she left me for her ex who had started to threaten me over her. Everything went downhill from here, stuff at work went wrong and ended up in me ...

A.   2 August 2011: First you need to know what you want. Then you need to find out what she wants. Texting is not a good form of communication, but it has to start somewhere so I understand her texting you as a start, it is easy and not intrusive. However, texting is ... (read in full...)

Her 16 year old son is ruining our relationship. What should I do?

Q.   after 2 and a half years of dating my girlfriend tells her 16 year old son that lives whith his dad about us and he flips out and tells her if she does not break it off with me he will mever hav anything to do with her again. now she says she has ...

A.   1 August 2011: She feels at the moment that she has to choose between the two of you. She doesn't realise that she can have both. Her son has told her she can't have both but it is not true, he is just too young to realise it, and it is also an opportunity for him ... (read in full...)

Incredibly attracted to a guy and don't know if I can resist him for much longer

Q.   I am 35 and have a warm attractive intelligent man working on my house. He has a good body and is tall and athletic. He used to be a lecturer but was made redundant and now runs his own specialist business. I have a loving relationship with my ...

A.   29 July 2011: Not only do you have control, you are actually actively creating this situation on an ongoing basis. There is a part of you that wants to create it. You are choosing to have him work at your house, choosing to be around him, choosing to develop your ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??

Q.   Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?......

A.   29 July 2011: Yes, the fact that you are older than he is may be part of what he finds you attractive for. However, there are lots of different reasons why we find one person or another perosn attractive, that's ok. The main thing is that you both like each other ... (read in full...)

Is it legal to date an ex teacher?

Q.   Is it legal? Some close teachers, were aware I had feelings for this teacher. and they were actually okay with it! He never taught me. And yes, mostly everyone has agreed he feels the same. Question is, would he be in trouble with the law? T...

A.   29 July 2011: Given your age it would still be illegal, and given your age still unethical. The fact that you have moved schools and did not start a relationship with him whilst at your previous schools would mean that it would not really be unethical for you to ... (read in full...)

Just curious, why do parents put their kids into honors classes they aren't ready for?

Q.   I'm an incoming freshman who attends public school. Its a good school, but not the best. Its just a regular school but has alot of very intelligent people. Anyway, earlier this year course selection. You teachers would write down our reccomended ...

A.   28 July 2011: Parents want the best for their kids. Sometimes, parents do it for the wrong reasons, they want their kids to do well so they can show the world how special their kids are, and how great they must be as parents to have such special kids. In the mean ... (read in full...)

All he can ever say to me is "I wish I loved you"! Why cant he like me?

Q.   Hey. I'd like help from guys around 17 but ayone would be a read great help right now. Im popular,funny,confident,outgoing but most guys will just call me ''fine''. ok why is it that out of the 2 out of the 6 bestlooking guys in my school wanted me, ...

A.   28 July 2011: This guy is being really honest with you, which is really good of him. It is a hard thing to admit to someone else, that you don't really love them, when they want you to. You want him to, but he doesn't love you. There isn't really anything you can ... (read in full...)

Is it legal to date an ex teacher?

Q.   Is it legal? Some close teachers, were aware I had feelings for this teacher. and they were actually okay with it! He never taught me. And yes, mostly everyone has agreed he feels the same. Question is, would he be in trouble with the law? T...

A.   28 July 2011: The legality of a sexual relationship has to do with the age of consent, which is probably 18 for you. However, it is inappropriate for a teacher to date a student, he would be breaching teacher's ethical guidelines which could cost him his job, ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??

Q.   Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?......

A.   28 July 2011: You can date, but he is very unlikely to have the emotional maturity to handle a sexual relationship. If you are ready for a sexual relationship and want one, it might be unfair on him to try and have one with him as he is only 14. However, the most ... (read in full...)

He hasn't said anything about last night......

Q.   I am living with my boyfriend. We are together a year now. He has a 7 year old son. He had to work last night so I was babysitting his son. I hadn't heard from him all night so at 10 I text him and said we are off to bed and what time would he be ...

A.   28 July 2011: He may be immature, and a fool, but you are the one keeping your mouth shut. This may be the hard part for you in the relationship, to tell him stuff he does in the relationship that you don't like, or won't accept, or that he was being a pratt and ... (read in full...)

The ex that wont go away.....

Q.   My relationship with my husband has been one I have never experienced. We met online and 7yrs later we'd never thought wed be this happy as parents. There's one issue that has haunted our relationship since day 1-his ex girlfriend. She ...

A.   28 July 2011: She doesn't sound like she is doing anything other than being nice to you guys and trying to be on good terms with both of you, based on the information in your post. There may be more to it than that, but you don't give any indication of it, and in ... (read in full...)

Her 16 year old son is ruining our relationship. What should I do?

Q.   after 2 and a half years of dating my girlfriend tells her 16 year old son that lives whith his dad about us and he flips out and tells her if she does not break it off with me he will mever hav anything to do with her again. now she says she has ...

A.   28 July 2011: Her son does not have the emotional maturity to understand the complexity of adult relationships. He is obviously very hurt by his parents separation, and her going out with another man feels like a betrayal to his parents relationship. It is ... (read in full...)

I was mad and cheated on her, but now her family and friends hate me.

Q.   My ex and I got into a fight while we were still dating and I was mad and cheated on her. I felt horrible and told her about it the very next day. She was mad and we broke up. A few weeks later we got back together and I cheated again. This all ...

A.   27 July 2011: Trust takes time to earn, and it is earned through actions not words. Talk is cheap, you can say you will never cheat on her again but it is only when you go through something difficult like you did before, and resolve it through a better way than ... (read in full...)

Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...

Q.   My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...

A.   27 July 2011: "I'm lost because I keep going over and over the events trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong..." "I'm trying to figure out what I do or say to set him off..." Have you thought about the possiblity that you aren't doing anything wro... (read in full...)

How do I get the confidence back?

Q.   Hi there, I am female age 30 and had quite a few sexual partners (most of these in relationships), I used to be pretty good at sex, but I had one bad experience and it really put me off and made me not want to do it for ages. The last time I did,...

A.   27 July 2011: A good start would be to reach a point where you are comfortable to tell him your current thoughts on having sex, and then tell him. You don't need to go into your past experience, but having a conversation with him about how you feel about it now ... (read in full...)

Paid online jobs to help people with their problems?

Q.   Does anyone know if there are any paid jobs where you can help people with their problems online, or would it be voluntary ?. I have been thinking recently that i'd like to have a job where i can help people, and, of course, being on dear cupid made ...

A.   27 July 2011: Some counselling organisations have phone based and chat based support services offered, but you have to be qualified to do that work as you would need to be in order to work as a counsellor in any way. Also, for reasons to complex and numerous to ... (read in full...)

How do I make it clear that I want him to take my virginity?

Q.   I have the most lovely boyfriend and we have been dating for a while now. We can get a bit frisky when we are alone and I know that we work together. The thing is that I would like to move it to the next level and would like to do "the deed". The ...

A.   27 July 2011: Ask him what he means by what he says. What does the idea of taking your virginity mean to him, when you say that he says he would be spoiling you, or that he cares too much, what does that mean? Understand there is a difference between you want... (read in full...)

His debt is ruining our lives and relationship....what should I do?

Q.   My partner is in SO much debt and is very very stressed. We don't go out and we don't do anything as there is no money. he is self employed so his income in quite low, and whatever income he has goes on paying back the debt and other bills. I ha...

A.   27 July 2011: Something has to give. If your relationship is good, preferably the thing to give way is the way you are managing things financially, but if that doesn't give, you may find the relationship does. Basically, he needs to have a better plan for deal... (read in full...)

I don't like sex, people think thats a bad thing

Q.   Hello, I am an 18 year old female and I dont like the thought of sex, at all. I think its repulsive and gross. I am still a virgin and perfectly okay with it. I dont see how its can be enjoyable or pleasurable for anyone. I have not been ...

A.   26 July 2011: This question is written from an intellectual perspective, it is not written from your own personal experience, because you have not had sex so you have not had the experience of sex, you only have ideas of what it is like to have sex. Any t... (read in full...)

Do sociopaths ever get lonely?

Q.   Hello aunts and uncles, So I recently got out off a (short term) relationship with a man who I believe was a sociopath. (He had all the signs, he lied all the time, was manipulative, said things he did not mean, was promiscuous, etc). We date...

A.   22 July 2011: Feelings of being lonely need not be closely related to the emotional qualities which we might use to define someone as a sociopath. In many cases a sociopath will have a need to have other people around through which they will express their ... (read in full...)

I love him but life is passing me by. I don't know how much longer I can wait around hoping things will change.

Q.   Hey Guys I have a dilemma. My bf and I have been going out for 5 years now and I've reached a point where I'm seriously starting to question where this relationship is going. Our problem is that we're not financially equipped to marry or even re...

A.   22 July 2011: Tell him all of this. I doubt that you have told him all of it, you have told him parts of it, for example that he needs to study, or that you aren't happy with the current set up, but you probably haven't said "I am worried that this relation... (read in full...)

Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...

Q.   My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...

A.   22 July 2011: There are a lot of forces at work affecting your relationship. Your husband's style of dealing with the stress of his job, and general anxiety in his life, is by switching off emotionally, he uses the tv and sleeping to do this, and it is his s... (read in full...)

Is cybersex cheating?

Q.   I have a cybersex habit. I had it before I met my wife and I still have it. I have a very high sex drive and my wife just doesn't keep up with me by any stretch. To me it is just a step beyond jerking myself off. In fact, that's what it is. Some...

A.   20 July 2011: The issue here is that people have differing opinions as to what constitutes cheating, betrayal, or disloyalty. For some couples in open relationships, having sex with other people outside of the relationship is not considered cheating but there are ... (read in full...)

I don't earn money so it's his way or no way

Q.   I have a complicated problem. I have been married for 3years now.. I have three kids and my husband has three kids. Two of his kids are grown and out of the house . Well when ever it comes to his kids he tells me he makes all the decisions ...

A.   20 July 2011: Your husband has set up a relationshp where he has all of the power and control. You are being controlled and manipulated, emotionally and financially. He will never change things for the better on his own, because he has things just the way he ... (read in full...)

Still in love with my ex, but she's getting married in August!

Q.   This is a bit long and I apologize in advance for that. My ex girlfriend is getting married to a guy she's been with for two years now. She was my first love and although I've had other girlfriends after her, I still can't stop thinking about her. ...

A.   14 July 2011: You do not get to choose who your ex marries, or how she behaves, but you get to choose how you feel and behave. The object is not to try to "get the girl", or destroy her good relationship. The object is to speak your truth, let her know how you ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has been acting different after getting back together.....

Q.   So here is the thing im 38 weeks pregnant and due any day now. a few weeks ago my boyfriend/baby dad broke up and we got back together last saturday. from june 30 untill now he has been hanging out with his friends all the time. alot more then he ...

A.   14 July 2011: What you should do is learn to start communicating with your bf. You are going to need to learn how to do this for the sake of your child more than anything else, so even though it can be difficult to talk about things that are hard, such as ... (read in full...)

Have you ever dumped someone despite knowing how much they loved you?

Q.   Who has dumped someone even if you knew how much they really loved you, and was how much they loved you the reason why?...

A.   14 July 2011: Questions about love with regards to relationships are sometimes difficult to answer because love means so many different things to different people. I was in a relationship with a woman I loved and who loved me, but the way in which we loved ea... (read in full...)

I want someone to love...

Q.   Hi guys... I'm a person who wasn't sure of her sexuality. Well, I only have always fantasized about a woman. Never a man. I have never been in a relationship. I haven't ever kissed anyone. In short- I'm pathetic. The place I live in is very shocked ...

A.   12 July 2011: You want other lesbians to tell you that they are lesbians but you are not able to do it yourself. They are probably feeling the same pressure that you are feeling if you live in a community that is not accepting of homosexuality. In other words, ... (read in full...)

I need some opinions on whether I am being used by my boyfriend!

Q.   Hey, I need some opinions on whether I am being used by my bf...I feel like I am at the moment, but need some perspective. We've been together 7 months, don't live together, both work shifts, full time. But I find myself feeling used by him at ...

A.   12 July 2011: Your post is amazingly insightful, and you are spot on. Your boyfriend is is not using you, he does ask you to do things for him, sometimes asking you to do things that are pushing the boundaries of what is a reasonable request, but it is ok that he ... (read in full...)

Despite telling me that she was sexually abused as a child, the relationship is getting physical. What should my next steps be?

Q.   Hi I've been dating a girl for a short while, we have been on 6 dates so far and have spoken on the phone every day. I really like her and when we are together we enjoy each others company. Things were going okay but we still hadn't kissed ...

A.   12 July 2011: The reality is that neither you nor her will know how she will react to a normal relationship, having been in abusive situations in her life before. You don't know if you can trust her to be able to handle a healthy relationship, because she doesn't ... (read in full...)

Despite telling me that she was sexually abused as a child, the relationship is getting physical. What should my next steps be?

Q.   Hi I've been dating a girl for a short while, we have been on 6 dates so far and have spoken on the phone every day. I really like her and when we are together we enjoy each others company. Things were going okay but we still hadn't kissed ...

A.   11 July 2011: Firstly, do not make the mistake of thinking badly of yourself because you wanted to go upstairs with her, because you want to have sex with her, or because you find her attractive and want to be physically intimate with her. Sex is not bad and your ... (read in full...)

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