I'm heartbroken that my high school crush turned me down.
Q. I am a 16 year old guy. I believe i been heartbroken for the first time and I have dated a lot and had a girl cheat on me before but i have never been this hurt before. Here's the story, I met this girl during cross country i thought she was cute ...
A. 1 September 2011: You are welcome, good luck, it is nice to see you taking the bright side of the difficult parts of relationships, if you can take something from the enjoyable and unejoyable moments, life becomes a much easier place. ... (read in full...)
I know he truly wants us both!!!
Q. hello, I'm not sure what to do about a situation I've been involved with for two years and need other peoples advice! i met a man by accident two years ago. from the moment we started talking we couldn't leave each other alone. texts run into at ...
A. 31 August 2011: Ah, I understand, forgive my presumption :)
I know it takes discipline, but don't even read them. Just use the delete key. You don't need to know what he has to say. ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken that my high school crush turned me down.
Q. I am a 16 year old guy. I believe i been heartbroken for the first time and I have dated a lot and had a girl cheat on me before but i have never been this hurt before. Here's the story, I met this girl during cross country i thought she was cute ...
A. 31 August 2011: You are very kind, but you give me way too much credit, my thoughts come from things I have learned from other people's great ideas on how people and relationships work :)
If she is avoiding you, you just have to give her space. She might make con... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken that my high school crush turned me down.
Q. I am a 16 year old guy. I believe i been heartbroken for the first time and I have dated a lot and had a girl cheat on me before but i have never been this hurt before. Here's the story, I met this girl during cross country i thought she was cute ...
A. 30 August 2011: You are welcome. I would encourage you to speak to her and express your feelings. You might not get everything you want, but you have a better chance of getting what you want if you say something, rather than saying nothing. More importantly, when ... (read in full...)
I know he truly wants us both!!!
Q. hello, I'm not sure what to do about a situation I've been involved with for two years and need other peoples advice! i met a man by accident two years ago. from the moment we started talking we couldn't leave each other alone. texts run into at ...
A. 30 August 2011: You are welcome, I am glad you have taken something from choosing to seek out advice here. It is interesting that you say you "asked him to let me move on", it is probably a subtle indication of your style of relating. You probably tend to be a ... (read in full...)
In love with a trucker I have never met?
Q. This is going to sound crazy but I met an amazing man about 3 months ago playing poker on my phone through a live app. We have been talking and texting everyday since. The connection seems amazing. I feel like I have known him my entire life. Like ...
A. 29 August 2011: Feelings are always real. What they mean is a different thing.
First of all, it is important for you to understand what you are in love with. You have not met this man, you have only communicated with him through technology. Therefore, you don'... (read in full...)
Is it me? Does my attractiveness make people not take me seriously?
Q. For some reason, nobody takes me seriously. For reference, I've heard from my friends that I have a fairly, ahem, attractive face and body. I've been told I'm very pretty and have quite the voluptuous body. And I'm not trying to sound arrogant or ...
A. 29 August 2011: Our brains are designed to quickly make sense of the world and our immediate environment as a way of assessing threat and giving us a sense of control and security, so when we were cavemen and women living in the wild, we would know the animals and ... (read in full...)
I am miserable being married to my husband.
Q. I have been married for 29 years.All these years were very tough I feel like I am in prison.We are like day and night. I got depressed. I had a break down before and i Can feel one coming soon. Ijust want to dissapear and never come back.I hate him ...
A. 29 August 2011: Why would you want to survive in misery and depression, rather than move forward in happiness. You have at least two other choices that involve being happy, rather than keeping things the same. One is to learn how to be happy with your husband, and ... (read in full...)
My fiance says he doesn't trust me!
Q. I have been with my partner for 6 1/2 yrs, we are coming up to our 1yr anniversary for when we got engaged. And yesterday, he tells me that he doesnt trust me. He didnt give me specifics...but he says he has problems trusting people...is that a good ...
A. 29 August 2011: Trust issues arise either because a person is untrusting, or the person they are in a relationship with gives some indication that they are untrustworthy. You sound trustworthy, so the issue lies with him. Chances are he has an issue trusting people ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken that my high school crush turned me down.
Q. I am a 16 year old guy. I believe i been heartbroken for the first time and I have dated a lot and had a girl cheat on me before but i have never been this hurt before. Here's the story, I met this girl during cross country i thought she was cute ...
A. 29 August 2011: She is at an age where she is having a hard time dealing with all of the different feelings she is experiencing. Part of relationships in your teenage years is having experiences where you learn about the different feelings you can have and ... (read in full...)
Reading other's texts--snooping? or confirmation?
Q. I am curious to know what other people's opinions are with reading each others texts when you should have nothing to hide? I seem to look at the topic from anoter point of view or maybe I am just right?? help ...
A. 29 August 2011: Reading your partner's text is an invasion of privacy, and feeling that you need to is an indication that either you don't trust them or that they are untrustworthy, which can sometimes both be the case.
If my partner asks, she is welcome ... (read in full...)
I know he truly wants us both!!!
Q. hello, I'm not sure what to do about a situation I've been involved with for two years and need other peoples advice! i met a man by accident two years ago. from the moment we started talking we couldn't leave each other alone. texts run into at ...
A. 29 August 2011: Having love and having a relationship are two different things. You may love this guy, and he may love you, but he is not in a position to give you a relationship because he is choosing another one. Give him your love and support to the relationship ... (read in full...)
He says they're only text messages, but they're about trying to meet up for sex with another woman!
Q. I seen some text messages on my partners phone which indicate he trying to meet someone for sex but she turns him down when I confront him he pleads with me and begs me to stay saying its only messages and he regrets it. Now we been together 5 yrs ...
A. 29 August 2011: I agree with other respondants, I would consider this cheating and you should deal with it appropriately. This means working to repair the relationship, and the breach of trust this would have caused, or possibly ending the relationship. If there is ... (read in full...)
Three questions for men!
Q. Three Questions to guys : 1.)Do men go out their way to make an ex/ or current girlfriend jealous? And if so, how? 2.)Why would a man in a 3 year relationship make an online Dating profile? 3.)What are the signs that a man is no longer ...
A. 29 August 2011: 1.)Do men go out their way to make an ex/ or current girlfriend jealous? And if so, how?
Sometimes, but this is not a mature approach to relating to others. If a guy does something to make you jealous, rather than react in jealousy, it is often a ... (read in full...)
My boss and I text each other, now his wife is furious at me. Did I do something wrong?
Q. This is a strange one I'm having mixed opinions about. Basically my boss is 20 years older than me, and married... and male also! However we text back and forth just silly jokes, general day to day stuff, and sometimes just to see how each other are ...
A. 29 August 2011: You didn't do anything wrong. Your boss' wife was totally out of line. They may be having relationship issues that you don't know about, which are none of your business, and she is taking them out on you incorrectly. Or she may just be insecure. You ... (read in full...)
My friend left me on my own during our night out in a town I don't know
Q. Am i overreacting or taking this too far by telling my best friend i don't want to be friends anymore. Would you still be friends with someone who did this... Before I start, i just want to say unlike the girl. I didn't know the area we were in, the ...
A. 26 August 2011:
The problem is not with you or your friend actually.
The problem is you both had different agenda's, and you both have different styles of being in the world.
Your agenda when meeting up with your friend was that you wanted to spend qual... (read in full...)
He asked me out but he really wants a FWB relationship. I don't!
Q. So the guy i liked, happens to like me back. So after like two weeks of flirting and talking. We kissed. Later on that day i asked him, where we were heading? So he asked me out...and i asked him if thats what he wanted? He didn't really answer me. ...
A. 26 August 2011: If you want a relationship with this guy, don't have sex with him. If you have sex with him, he will bolt, he has at least been honest enough to tell you that he likes you but has made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship. Just stay friends ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a lasting marriage?
Q. I read so many questions here about married people who have fallen out of love, married people who cheat, married people who are tempted to cheat, etc. etc. Does marriage even mean anything these days, other than being tied together by law?...
A. 25 August 2011: Lasting marriages are possible. I would estimate about 30-40 percent of marriages would be lasting. The ones that don't get more marketing and media attention, we read much more about divorces than 50 year anniversaries because they are more ... (read in full...)
I ask him why he doesn't want to have sex and he says "I don't know"
Q. My fiance (26) and I (21) have been together for about two years now. We got pregnant quite early in the relationship (unexpected) but our son is the best thing that has ever happened to us and he will be one in September. Any ways! The reason why I ...
A. 25 August 2011: It is most likely his current emotional state which is the reason he isn't feeling very sexual at the moment. The biggest factor could be stress, but there can be other factors too. It is possible that it doesn't have anything to do with you, so it ... (read in full...)
Is it true that most people never confess to cheating and don't get found out?
Q. Hi my question is pretty brief and it goes like this... Do most people that cheat end up telling their partners or keep quiet? I have been trying to research this on the internet and have so far come up with that most keep quiet. What do y'all ...
A. 25 August 2011: There is no real answer to this question, only guesses, estimates and statistical probablilities. Of all the people who cheat, some tell, some don't tell but get found out, and some don't tell and don't get found out.
I would guess that accross ... (read in full...)
Married man wants to keep me as his side dish. How do I walk away?
Q. Hi Cupids. This is my first time here. I could really use your advice. You can be honest and harsh, whatever you feel is necessary. I know what I have done is not right. I am a married mom and I have been having an emotional affair (no physi...
A. 25 August 2011: The short version of my view on things is that the two of you have become close, there is attraction, and he recognises that this puts pressure on his marriage and family, so he is backing off a little and putting some of his focus back into his ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped. What should I do? I've had a threesome and my husband does not know.
Q. Hi i'm 32 year old wife and a mom with a kid of 3 years old . I'm feeling confused and trapped with a dilemma all because of my mistakes. Almost 3 months before I met a nice and good looking girls who's 23 years at the gym. We had the same gym ins...
A. 25 August 2011: It is natural that you would want to talk about things when you aren't sure what you want to do, and you feel guilty about something or are confused about something you are going through.
You have put yourself in a situation where there are no s... (read in full...)
Why can't he stop seeing this woman? He still lives with me
Q. my husband told me he is having an affair and that he had to tell me. we are still living in the same house we are still making love from time to he says he dont want to have to choose he tell me thing that hurt me so much he say i can stay here...
A. 25 August 2011: You are waiting for him to decide what he wants, as if he is the only one that can make any decisions in this situation. This is not true. You can make decisions too.
At the moment he is living with you, and has a girlfriend on the side. And you ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married man now I am scared he will tell his wife, is this likely?
Q. Hello. My predicament is a little sensitive so please be gentle on me. Me and my bf were going through a lot and I had a one night stand, with a married man. To be fair we did not have intercourse but I accept that I was unfaithful. I have spoken to ...
A. 25 August 2011: People are not defined by the mistakes they make, or by the fact that they made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. It is how we responde to our mistakes that defines us. It is a good idea to use the mistakes you make in your life as a learning ... (read in full...)
Can having lots of casual sex affect people psychologically?
Q. Hi, I read recently in an article written by a prominent psychologist that lots of casual sex or sex with people you do not love can cause a person to "split off" from him- or herself, losing touch with his or her emotions. The person then becomes ...
A. 24 August 2011: I would say this is true in the majority of cases but not necessarily in all cases. For the most part though, people who seek out lots of casual sex use it as a way of making themselves feel better to compensate for other parts of their lives not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains when I eat his food!!!
Q. Hi. Me and my bf have been togther almost 2 years and we are about to buy a house togther. He is fronting all of the deposit and paying for most of the fees (around £20,000). However, sometimes when I go round to see him and want to eat his food...
A. 24 August 2011: People have different styles of sharing, and different styles of managing money. Some people are generous with giving and gifts but refuse to lend money. Other people will be happy to give money to friends if they ever need it but don't like lending ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to do more, but I am not ready! How do I tell him, and how do I stop hating myself?
Q. (Mod note: the question is edited to remove details.) My boyfriend and I made a mistake and went too far (still a virgin, but it went too far). I regret it. I guess I was trying to grow up fast. It was so, so stupid. I'm worried about what oth...
A. 23 August 2011: This is a story of a girl who doesn't like olives. One day, she decided to try an olive because lots of other people eat them, and discovered she didn't like it, she thought it was horrible. After a while she felt like she was more accustomed to the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to do sexual things but I am still very shy
Q. So, there's this guy that I've been seeing and we've been having sex for about a month. Everthings great but he keeps wanting to go down on me. I know it would feel really good but I'm just really shy and I don't like the idea of someone seeing my ...
A. 23 August 2011: Your feelings of being shy are because you are worried about your body image. You are judging yourself, and are worried that he will judge you too. You aren't comfortable with your body, and this is bound to affect how you feel during sex.
Reali... (read in full...)
My questions about love
Q. One is How do you tell someone that you really like that you are falling in love with them ? Number 2 How do you know that you have found the guy that you want to spend your life with? number 3 How do you know that you are happy with the guy tha...
A. 23 August 2011: Here are some thoughts on love, and responses to your questions.
1. The best way to tell someone that you love them, is to be simple, direct, and honest about it. In other words, just look at them and tell them. It is best to also not expect a... (read in full...)
Why do men avoid confrontations?
Q. Why do men always avoid confrontations? Just today, my bf and I touched a topic about food and an argument was starting. While I was trying to explain things and wanted him to have his say on this, he just started to say he was going to sleep. ...
A. 22 August 2011: All humans find a system of managing their anxiety. Your boyfriends system is one of avoidance. When something comes up which heightens his anxiety, he takes steps to avoid it. Going to sleep is a great way to do this of course. Some people avoid ... (read in full...)
I want to try to be a vegetarian. Any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian. There are many reasons behind this, but I need some advice. I'm an animal-lover and a bit of an environmentalist. I don't like our general lifestyle either. I know that people have always relied on meat a...
A. 22 August 2011: This is a good question, and not a simple one.
We live in a culture in the western world where meat consumption is dominant, but we also live in a culture where information is vast and easily accessed, and one where a wide variety of food is ... (read in full...)
Are love spells considered to be 'witchcraft'?
Q. Are love spells considered a Witchcraft type of practice or anything of that sort that deals with the dark side?...
A. 22 August 2011: Any spell which tries to convince someone to do something they wouldn't normally naturally do, or choose willingly, would be a witchcraft or dark magic spell. Making someone fall in love with you is a form of manipulation, in fact, making someone ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too soft in bed. Any tips on how to make him give it to me rough?
Q. My boyfriend is too soft in bed. if im being honest, looks wise, i am out of his league, but he is cute. he treats me all the time and i love him. he is okay is in bed. he is very good at passionate sex, when we are both taking it slow, but ...
A. 22 August 2011: The question for you to ask is not "anyone got any tips on how to make him give it to me rough", the question for you to ask yourself is "why am I unable, or uncomfortable, to talk to my boyfriend about this? Why am I considering ending the ... (read in full...)
Before love comes into the picture, is dating basically just a way of women getting men to pay for sex?
Q. I want to get to the bottom of something... If there is no love involved (or before love comes into the picture), just sexual attraction, and the man pays for dinners or whatever, he is, underneath it all, paying for sex. Love is an additional re...
A. 19 August 2011: Most species of animals higher up the food chain have mating rituals, courtship. Often this involves displays of power, virility, physical strength or beauty, dancing, etc.
In humans this still exists, so instinctively women seek out men that hav... (read in full...)
Can an 18 year old student consent to sex with a professor in Canada?
Q. What are the age of consent laws in Ontario, Canada regarding having sex with someone in a position of authority? Can an 18 year old student consent to sex with a 27 year old professor?...
A. 11 August 2011: Yes, if you are at an age to give legal consent, it is not illegal to have sex with someone in a position of authority. However, it is unethical, and prohibited by his profession. It it were known that you were having sex he could lose his job or be ... (read in full...)
Can I get some sort of camera to watch my ex with our baby?
Q. ok before i ask for help i want to make it very clear i am not a nutter pretty much me and my bf are not together any more and we have a newborn baby now he want's to take the baby but i don't want him to have it in saying that i don't want to be a ...
A. 11 August 2011: Unfortunately for you, what you are proposing is not legal. Firstly, it may not be a question of you being a bitch or not being a bitch which determines whether or not he gets to take the baby at times. This may be his legal right as the father, he ... (read in full...)
My sister's ex is coming on to me -- hard -- and I don't want anything to do with him
Q. I don't know how to explain this situation. I just know that it's the worst thing that could have possibly happened. Basically, my sister and her ex had been together for almost 14 years and they have two children. They only split up a few months ...
A. 10 August 2011: You are right that he should never be putting you in this situation. It is highly inappropriate for a 38 year old man to be expressing his love to a 16 year old girl in this context, and it is equally inappropriate for him to have any kind of ... (read in full...)
How do I spit out cum without it being awkward?
Q. Okay so... My boyfriend is always asking me to give him a blow job, and i love doing it for him... one problem, i tasted cum once and hated it... he says he doesnt mind, that i can start with a blow job and that he will tell me when hes close to ...
A. 9 August 2011: It is nice of you that you want to because you think he does care inside, but you also need to care about what you want inside too. Don't put his feelings ahead of your own. You can let him speak for his feelings and you can speak for yours. He has ... (read in full...)
Do guys get nervous when having sex ? ...
Q. I am a girl ... and i always hear all these guys talking about sex, and asking girls all these sexual questions .. and always watching porn and fantasizing about it, and then girls are always really nervous to have it and ask questions ( Not all ...
A. 9 August 2011: Yes, guys do often get nervous about having sex, it depends on the guy and on his experience. At the age you have posted, 13-15, guys don't have a lot of experience if any, and many guys will talk tough because they think they need to behave like ... (read in full...)
Can I pass on herpes from a cold sore?
Q. I suffer a lot from coldsores, and I've recently learned that coldsores are caused by a strain of the herpes virus. If I have sex, is there any chance of me passing herpes onto my partner? ...
A. 9 August 2011: This site is best used to get opinions rather than facts. If you punch your question in to google there are plenty of sites where you get factual information that is of a greater validitiy than the opinions of people you will get here. In summary ... (read in full...)
He denied and lied and lied but finally admitted that he cheated on me while we were broken up!
Q. Hi everyone, sorry this is so long. I have been dating a guy for almost a year and he seemed like the sweetest, most genuine and trust worthy guy. It was such a relief to have him after my ex boyfriend who was such a flirt and cheater. We were rea...
A. 5 August 2011: Relationships are not defined by having problems. All relationships have problems. What defines them is how you deal with your problems, how you react. You guys are young, and probably a little inexperienced, and so when problems come up you both ... (read in full...)
Someone help! I don't want to make the wrong decision on my future!
Q. I know this is relationship advice, but this website gives me the best, most insightful advice!! I don't know what to do, i have a vitally important life decision to make. And i have to make it as my future starts in a month!! Ever since i was 10 ...
A. 5 August 2011: Rather than thinking of this as an either/or decision, you can do both, as the previous poster has said. You can work for a year in the US, and then if you choose, you can come back to the uk and study at uni. We can never know where life w... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...
Q. My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...
A. 5 August 2011: Have you tried communicating about this issue? Like I said before, I don't mean striking up a conversation randomly, I mean setting aside a time and a place without distractions where you can sit and face your fears? You may be right, he might ... (read in full...)
Should he have asked me first before going and making these plans?
Q. My husband just informed me he asked two of his single guy friends to go on a roadtrip to see a baseball game. He didn't ask me before he asked them and I know these guys are single and always looking for women. should he have asked me first before ...
A. 4 August 2011: Even though he is married, he does not have to answer to you when making decisions about his own life. A loving partner will take their partner into consideration always, but it is ok for him to make his own plans. He doesn't have to check ... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...
Q. My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...
A. 27 July 2011: "I'm lost because I keep going over and over the events trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong..."
"I'm trying to figure out what I do or say to set him off..."
Have you thought about the possiblity that you aren't doing anything wro... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't pay much attention to me...
Q. My husband for a couple years has been coming home sitting on the couch, watching tv, waiting for dinner, then falling asleep on the couch at times without speaking a word to me. I've tried talking to him about my loneliness but he always lashes ...
A. 22 July 2011: There are a lot of forces at work affecting your relationship.
Your husband's style of dealing with the stress of his job, and general anxiety in his life, is by switching off emotionally, he uses the tv and sleeping to do this, and it is his s... (read in full...)
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