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*poco agony aunt

*poco

Switzerland  (Female   XML/RSS

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*poco's profile:

Hello,

I live in Switzerland, but grew up in America. I think sites like these are very important, because people often feel ashamed of having problems, or have a difficult time accepting advice from their peers/family, and an outlet like this allows you to get varied advice from people you don't know, which is sometimes the only advice a person will get on an issue! I love that we all have our own "column" and can give advice and ask for help at the same time.

< Prev1234 [4 pages, 138 answers]

Advice re au pair jobs abroad!

Q.   Hi. I'd really appreciate some advice on these job offers. I'd like to go and work abroad as an Au Pair. I'll write about both families, and you can tell me what you think. One of the families is from Switzerland. They have three kids , a girl...

A.   8 April 2010: I have been an au pair/nanny on and off for years, and I loved it. Based on how you describe these two jobs, I agree with the other aunts: take the one in Italy. It just sounds easier. If you really want a challenge and you have a strong desire to ... (read in full...)

Bunny Boiler trapped my husband in a 5 year affair!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 16 years, we have two children ages 9 and 10, I caught him at this girls house 5 years ago, and he said he was helping her thru issues and they were friends- dumb me right- I believed him. I ask him to not talk ...

A.   8 April 2010: Tell him you at least need some time apart, which is totally reasonable. Separate from him, move out, and see how quickly he goes back to her or finds someone else (I'm guessing it won't take long). He's just a liar. Its not important for him to be ... (read in full...)

Nothing is putting me off wanting a baby, am I really ready at 14 or is it just a phase?

Q.   [Moderator's Note: Poster's real age is 13, not 18-21] okay, this question wasnt posted for me to be insulted. so if you have a problem then please leave your comments out. im 13, nearly 14, and i am desperete for a baby. i was watching a docum...

A.   8 April 2010: The other aunts have excellent responses, read them and heed them! I just wanted to add that wanting a child is not usually a "phase" for a woman. I am 27, and I knew I wanted to have children since I was about your age. I also knew it would be ... (read in full...)

Ready to lose virginity at 13, everyone else has!

Q.   MOD NOTE: Age posted is not right, poster says they are 13, NOT 19) hi. im greenpink, im 13 years old (i'll be 14 in may) and i think that i am ready to loose my virginty. we just offically met a few days ago (through mutual friends) but i have bee...

A.   7 April 2010: You say "everyone else you know" has lost their virginity, then you go on to mention that one of your closest friends hasn't even thought about it. I'm sure if you think hard, you know a lot of girls your age who are not having sex. Don't feel ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend talks to himself! Should I be disturbed about this?

Q.   My boyfriend talks to himself. If I would have known this when we first met two years ago, I would have never talked to him. It disturbs me and he sees talking to himself as being more intellectually intuned than other humans. I have no clue what to ...

A.   7 April 2010: I would be less worried that he talks to himself than that he thinks he is more intellectually in-tune than other humans! I think its normal to talk to oneself a little, but someone regularly having full-on conversations would be disturbing to see. ... (read in full...)

I'm late for first time, could I finally be pregnant?

Q.   im 20 and have been with my man for 2 years. its been nine months since we started having sex without using anything (we do want a baby), we have sex a few times during the week, and at weekends we do it like 2-3 times in one day, he usually does ...

A.   6 April 2010: I wish I had psychic powers so that I could tell you if you are pregnant or not, but unfortunately, I don't. Take a test! Its the only way to know. A week late is something. The worst that can happen is you get to keep trying. Good luck :-)... (read in full...)

Why hasn't he proposed after all this time?

Q.   I'm 29 and I've been with my man for 11 years. We have a 10 year old son together, we've purchased a home together, cars together, and basically everything together as if we are married, but we're not. Everytime I bring up marriage he says everythi...

A.   5 April 2010: If you think this will be an effective way of getting him to marry you, I have to disagree with you. Its risky and may not work. Also, is that really how you want to get married? With threats of leaving someone? Him feeling pressured and forced? ... (read in full...)

When I spend a lot of time with her I feel claustrophobic, does anyone else have this problem?

Q.   I'm dating this girl who moved from Arizon to where to Long Beach and we've been seeing each other for four months. Everytime we spend a lot of time together, I start to feel claustrophobic. I've been honest with her about these feelings but we both ...

A.   4 April 2010: Of the two things you don't want to do, being alone or stringing her along, I would say you should opt for being alone. It sounds like you feel that is inevitable anyway. But, if that is not an option, you could try making an attempt to figure o... (read in full...)

Should I tell my friend I have fallen for him even tho he is unavailable?

Q.   Ok so here is the situation: I am good friends with a guy from work, I would class him as one of my best friends (and the other way around) we spend quite a lot of time together, talk on the phone, text etc. He has stayed over at my house a few t...

A.   4 April 2010: I agree with all the other aunts, its best to say nothing and put your energies into finding a different relationship. Ordinarily, guys will go after something if they are sure they want it. You are single and available, its HIS move to make, if ... (read in full...)

I don't want him to take my top off!

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been going out for about five months. he regurally takes his top off when making out, when we were making out in a forest he told me he would have taken my top off but i would be cold. he didnt but thing is, i don't want him ...

A.   4 April 2010: I just want to add a message to some of the other aunts who have responded, that its all well and good to advise a 16-ish girl to be direct about sexual matters with her boyfriend, but that absolutely doesn't mean she has the communication skills ... (read in full...)

I'm happy with my boyfriend but can't stop thinkingof my ex!

Q.   I strated dating a guy when I was 17, but then moved to college and we drifted. I met someone else and broke up with him when I was 19. I don't think I was very nice about it and I really think I broke his heart ( He is a few years older than I am). ...

A.   4 April 2010: If its upsetting to you to think of him, and these thoughts honestly don't make you want to do anything, like get closer to your ex-ex, then stop communicating with him in any way. Un-friend him on all social sites, delete his number and definitely ... (read in full...)

How do I get her to love me again?

Q.   Ok where should i start !!! My girlfriend and i have been together for almost 5 years. She moved in with me after we dated for 1 year. In the last 5 years we have been threw it all... I have cheated on her both emotionally and physical, and even tho ...

A.   4 April 2010: When she says she has no feelings for you at all, I have to say I think that is not true. I'm sure that she does, be they good/bad feelings, I can guarantee she feels something. There must just be something blocking her, stopping her from accessing ... (read in full...)

I don't want him to take my top off!

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been going out for about five months. he regurally takes his top off when making out, when we were making out in a forest he told me he would have taken my top off but i would be cold. he didnt but thing is, i don't want him ...

A.   3 April 2010: If you feel like he is starting to go for your top, just find an excuse to stop making out, he will most likely get the clue that you aren't ready. And if you can't find an excuse, just say "wait", and tell him directly that you aren't ready yet. ... (read in full...)

How do you stop being controlling?

Q.   How can you stop being controlling? I know that sounds strange but I,ve been told I,m quite a controlling and I know I am. I,m a type person who has to be on control on everything , Organising party I insist I have to do everything , I,m getting ...

A.   3 April 2010: Controlling people truly enjoy only things/people/situations that fulfill their expectations, and they worry that nothing else will give them satisfaction. If they don't get exactly what they think they want, they can't be happy. This is very ... (read in full...)

He never wants children, I definitely do, and I don't approve of his job!

Q.   My boyfriend never wants to have children, and I absolutley do, and lives a lifestyle I know I would not be happy with living in the future. (he is a porn director!) I know he won't change and I know I can't change him. For now I have a fantastic ...

A.   2 April 2010: Why is your desire for children and marriage something you need to "get over"? Those are normal desires that can offer you a lifetime of companionship, happiness and passion. Maybe instead of suppressing your desires and prolonging the inevitable, ... (read in full...)

Men & affairs--what's it really all about?

Q.   Do men who have affairs really enjoy having another woman or does it all become a bit of a chore keeping everything secret? Plus do these men just latch on to anyone who'll have them - or is there always an attraction there?...

A.   2 April 2010: I think the attraction is rarely about the other person, unless the guy's current relationship is truly, deeply troubled, and he actually sees a future with his mistress (which is not usually the case). If he did see a future, it wouldn't be an ... (read in full...)

Should I try again with my husband?

Q.   2 1/2 years ago I asked my husband for a little space to evaluate our relationship and work on our problems. After a month he started a physical relationship with another woman. I was so hurt and devastated by this, that I took him back and even ...

A.   1 April 2010: Do you actually want to take him back or are you just afraid of being alone? What he did, both times, was really unacceptable. If I were you, I would not take him back. I am sure he is sorry, and I am sure there is still love between the two of you. ... (read in full...)

How to get him to talk to me after our break up?

Q.   Hi. My bf broke up with me a month ago. He said he wanted a break and needed time apart because we were arguing. Iv tried txting him and calling him but he wont reply . I dont know what to do as i really love him and we had a real connection. I ...

A.   1 April 2010: I think you should stop trying. If he won't reply to your attempts to talk, there isn't much else you can do (while keeping your dignity intact). Focus your attention instead on letting go of the relationship and moving on. Remember, he has your ... (read in full...)

Mismatched sex drives...

Q.   Me and my partner have mismatched sex drives and attitudes to sex. Mine is high, his is low. He is 41 btw, and says he's gone off sex. It's not a sgood as it used to be. We have a LDR and I've been back with him for 5 days, after 2 months apart. L...

A.   1 April 2010: I have a higher sex drive than my husband (we have a 7 year age gap), so I think I really know where you are coming from. Its an awful, terrible feeling to get rejected sexually on a regular basis. He has had to reassure me VERY often that he ... (read in full...)

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