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*oneygirl

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She used to have affairs with married men. Is she dating material??

Q.   I met this really beautiful girl a couple months ago. She seemed nice and sweet too. Almost too good to be true! I asked her to lunch and surprise to me she said yes. We sort of started a relationship. I mean not too serious yet. Just movies a...

A.   1 March 2012: "She said sometimes it happened when she was a student and also when she moved to the city where we live. She needed the money" Do I read this right... she had sex with married men for money? Wow, so what do you think this makes her? Definite... (read in full...)

How can I relax and not sabotage this potentially wonderful relationship?

Q.   Hi everyone. A quick question, I am in a relationship with a stunning gregarious woman. We're to married in August and have talked about having a child together. However, I live daily in fear that things will turn sour. I try not to look for reasons ...

A.   31 January 2012: Maybe it is not the relationship that is the problem, have you chatted to your Dr. You might be suffering from depression?? Or perhaps, go and see a clinical psychologist to help you get to the root of your unhappiness.... (read in full...)

He will Will but I wont!

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 years has told me that he has already changed his will although we are not married yet to make me a beneficiary (along with ather beneficiaries). I have a will as well (predating our relationship) but have not made him a benefici...

A.   24 January 2012: Leave your will as it is for the moment. If you do decide to get married, then surely it is up to you as to which of your assets you leave to whom? If in the event you change your will, then later you and the bf part ways, and you just dont get... (read in full...)

Should I reveal my feelings to my professor?

Q.   I'm in love with my professor.I'm a 2nd year student in college. I don't know why but I'm crazy beacause I always think of him every time. Actually I have just bought him a book because he loves to read. Maybe he already an idea that i like him.I ...

A.   10 January 2012: Good advice from Starlights!!... (read in full...)

I am due to fly out to see my bf but he has just dumped me! I am distraught!

Q.   Ok so its less than a week before Xmas. I am due to fly out to be with my boyfriend tomorrow (6 year relationship) and he has just told me, out the blue, that he doesn't feel the same way about me any more... and he told me by email. I am totally ...

A.   21 December 2011: Don't go, but he does owe you an explanation as to why he dumped you. Dumping by email is a coward's way - he must tell you face to face. I suspect that your bf has gotten involved with someone else and if you arrived, well that would just ... (read in full...)

How to show her I'm not cheating? She won't listen to me!

Q.   I need help with my girlfriend I am in a desperate situation and I know many of you will just say to break up with her but I'm not looking for that I am looking for advice on how to fix our relationship Recently while I was on the phone with h...

A.   21 December 2011: Sorry let me get this straight, she is accusing you of cheating but she ss/was chatting to some other guy and she got drunk and slept with him??? This girl is trying to make you out as the 'baddie' but to be honest, this is a doomed relation... (read in full...)

Should I have stayed with him?

Q.   Me and a guy were seeing each other for a few months and we proposed going slow. I found out just recently that he has 2 children. I found this out from a close friend of his, he didn't tell me. He is a heavy drinker, drinks every nigh...

A.   21 December 2011: Stay away from this one... he will drag you down to his level. Appears he is an alcoholic, that is NOT YOUR PROBLEM! I am sorry for the children but once again WHERE IS THEIR MOTHER? Dont let someone else's problem become yours!... (read in full...)

We separated due to his telling another woman he was only sticking around till he could afford a divorce, now when we were trying to reconcile he's messaging women again!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 5 months. This is going to be a long story everyone I am apologizing now. I guess to start we both changed after we got married. We moved into a camper trailer right after we got married. It is located on his ...

A.   21 December 2011: Find yourself a lawyer and get your ducks in a row... this man sounds like he has a problem!... (read in full...)

Should I proceed with the wedding after having been lied to and cheated on?

Q.   In 10months time i will be getting married to my 3years boyfriend. Our first year of relationship didnt started out well (it'll be too long for me to tell the reason as theres loads of it) and maybe probably because of his work as well as it ...

A.   21 December 2011: Your relationship has been bad since the begining and now it is getting worse.. do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a liar and a cheat? Is that what you think you deserve?? Oh, I am sure the bf of the woman he was 'not' ha... (read in full...)

We're unofficially dating and he's flirting with another girl

Q.   I'm dating this guy nothing is official yet but I recently found out he has been talking to another girl using the same pick up lines on her as he used on me and been flirty and offering to meet up. Am I making a big deal of this ? Also should I...

A.   21 December 2011: Well since you are not an official couple, you are more of a frind with benefits... there are no ties to this guy he is free to pursue other girls.... As him to make it official, and if he continues chatting up girls, dump him!... (read in full...)

Why does this guy only text me after 11pm?

Q.   Hello everyone, so there's this guy. I have had feelings for him in the past, but he's currently in a relationship. I really don't know my feelings for him right now. I've hung out with him recently, and I've noticed that (unless he wants to set up ...

A.   21 December 2011: He is spending the earlier part of the evening with his gf.. Also, do you think it is fair on his gf if he is chatting you up?? How would you feel if your bf was chatting up another girl? Suggest that you put him in his place and he is really g... (read in full...)

Is it time to exit this relationship? His actions are scaring me. Plus my Bf watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.

Q.   Need some help.. Basically last weekend I went on my boyfriends phone and found he watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.. Which I really dont understand. He said he rang it as needed someone to talk to, but a gay chat line...

A.   7 November 2011: Sorry hun, but no matter how much you love him, he is an abuser. He might not have hit you YET... but that will come probably sooner than later. This is clearly a toxic set-up and I urge you to cut ties with him before serious physical damage i... (read in full...)

He said that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head that our marriage will be over!

Q.   I have been with my husband for almost four years. When we had been dating for a month I told him that I hated giving head. We have been married for a little over a year now and he is telling me that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head ...

A.   4 November 2011: This man is using emotional blackmail to get oral sex from his wife. Not exactly a recipe for a happy marriage if everything is about him and his penis.... (read in full...)

What do you do when the distance between you starts to grow bigger?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 14 years and together 5 years before that. Things haven't been perfect and we have been working on things for quite some thime now. We see a counselor once a week and he sees someone on his own. I have and ...

A.   4 November 2011: Just by going to a counsellor your marriage will not magically repair itself. It takes work and lots of communication. Even with a counsellor helping there will be bumps in your relationship and it is how you with the help of your counsell... (read in full...)

Hubby gettin porn in emails!

Q.   I am a 60 year old women who has been blind sited by my husband's use of porn and emails. As both of us worked and I never saw his work computer I had no idea he received emails from his "buds" that contained naked women, porn video's,s and m, and ...

A.   4 November 2011: I think that the point of the matter is that because of his behaviour he has destroyed the trust in the marriage. Even when the proof was in front of him he lied. Before I get shot down here, men watch porn, there is no denying it, but when a m... (read in full...)

Found out my husband had an affair and frequents massage parlors....should I leave?

Q.   We have been married for 30 years. I thought we had a great sexual relatioship but find out now that my husband had an affair for 2 years in our 3rd yr of marriage. Ten yrs later he met up with the same woman and I'm not sure what took place ( ...

A.   3 November 2011: Please private message me.... (read in full...)

Do guys eventually give up if the girl wont have sex with them?

Q.   do players get turned off by girls who don't want to have sex with them straightaway? surely at some point they lose interest and give up on a girl who won't give them what they want?...

A.   3 November 2011: If all he is interested in is sex and it isnt forthcoming, then yes, he will move onto easier conquests.... (read in full...)

Sent a girl a dirty pic. Things are weird. Now what?

Q.   I am sort of new top this online dating thing. I met this girl online and we hit it off real well. We started chatting via I'm and some of our chats got explicit. She sent me some photos of her bare legs (waist down) in the past. Last night, s...

A.   20 September 2011: Sorry hun but this woman is just wanting to chat dirty with you - she will never meet with you and you shocked her by sending her a dick-pic - it probably made it real to her that you wanted her for sex. It is one thing to chat over the internet... (read in full...)

What's wrong with my husband? Is he insecure?

Q.   my husband used to rebuke girls(when he was 24-26) who would reject him or didnt consider him as gods gift to women,calling them the C word or sexually abusing some girl whom he fancied and she didnt return the gesture.then he would hit on gir...

A.   20 September 2011: He is a user and an abuser. You say you are married to this man yet you put up with his disgusting behaviour? ... (read in full...)

Am I obliged to tell his wife the details about the sex we had?

Q.   A few months back I slept with my married boss twice. We got on great in work and in general, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Things were awkward and a mishap in communication led to a second 'mistake'. We agreed it would ...

A.   20 September 2011: What I suspect has happened is that your boss is lying to his wife, saying that the two of you were only friends and all you did was talk, there was no sex involved. The next time she calls you please ask her to ask her husband for the truth, t... (read in full...)

Husband cheated on me wev been together 30 years please help

Q.   Hi I have been with my husband for 30 years married 26 we have got 4 boys, just before christmas I found out he had an affair 8 years ago hes a builder and and a girl in a sandwich shop asked him and his partner to do a job for her she had been ...

A.   11 June 2011: Hon, get you and your man off to a marriage counsellor for additional help - your man sounds like he is really sorry for causing you pain, but you need to address the problem as to why he had to have sex with this woman. Go get yourself tested f... (read in full...)

Attached men visiting strip clubs?

Q.   How to deal with a man who use to visit strip clubs when he was single!!My boyfriend was a strip club visitor when he was single. He tries explaining to me that he feels those were better places to hang out, have a beer and relax, than a normal bar. ...

A.   26 May 2011: Sounds like the lame excuse men use for buying a porn mag.. "they only bought it for the insert on the car" How would he feel if you hung out in a strip bar oogling naked men all the time - my bet is he wouldnt like it!... (read in full...)

My husband's female co-worker seems to be stepping out of bounds in texting non-work related things at all hours. Help!

Q.   My husband works with mostly females in an office including his boss. That sort of bothered me at first but not that much until his boss began sending emails to his phone on the weekends that had nothing to do with work. Sometimes the emails were ...

A.   26 May 2011: Hon, okay, he is claiming all innocence - then what about sexual harassment?? A formal letter should be addressed to this superior and if the superior doesnt take action, well laywer up!!... (read in full...)

I'm reluctant to reccomend my friend for a job at my workplace

Q.   About 2 years ago a woman I worked with left the company as she decided she wanted a more flexible job  so she could have more time with her 2 children. I kept in touch with her via facebook and she often texts me. She has now decided that she...

A.   13 May 2011: Hon, you dont have to lie, just put in her CV and wait for the outcome. If she has a bad record with a company, these things have a tendancy of coming out somewhere along the line, dont get railroaded into vouching for her when you know in your ... (read in full...)

Dating him for 4 years but he is flirting with other girls! Why am I not enough?

Q.   I've been dating him off and on for four years. I peeked at his phone hes flirting with other girls and trying to hire hookers. Why arent I good enough? Why is he so verbally abusive? ...

A.   13 May 2011: Sorry Hon, this guy is a waste of time and will be the source of lots of heartache. He has serious issues and it is not your fault. Time to re-evaulate your relationship - and considering you have written into Dear Cupid, you are already ... (read in full...)

I'm tense about my husband talking to our neighbour, a lady.

Q.   My husband talks to the lady who is our neighbour by hiding from me. I m really tensed about it. He says me she is just a friend. Her husband is also unaware about it....my husband tells me that she is just a friend an now they have shifed to ...

A.   13 May 2011: If he is hiding the fact that he is speaking to your neighbour then, yes, there is a problem. The other woman's husband is also unaware of them...mmmm.... maybe it is time to invite the other womans husband with you and show him that something is ... (read in full...)

Should I let her go? My wife says she loves me but is not in love with me.

Q.   My wife told me she loves me, But not in love with me. how should i react to a statment like this. She's been comming to me with these crazy idea's. Like wanting to move to FL. from MI and discussing what would happen to the kids if we were to di...

A.   13 May 2011: If she loves you but is not in love with you --- then who is she in love with??? Huge red flags here IMHO.... (read in full...)

How could he say this to me!

Q.   My husband and I fought over something stupid on Mother's Day...we have not talked to each other about our child since then. On Monday our son had his last soccer game. We all went and some man held the door open for us as he was going out. I said ...

A.   13 May 2011: You dont tell us what your fight was about - however silly it was your husband was hurt and this is why he lashed out at you with that nasty comment. It was uncalled for however he wanted to hurt you like you have hurt him. You and your husband ... (read in full...)

Do you think my married friend has feelings for me?

Q.   I have a friend that is having a hard time in his marriage. We always talk on the phone; but it has gotten to the point where he talking to me while she is at home also. Today, we were talking about his children when he said, ''In another lifetime, ...

A.   10 May 2011: You need to be firm with this friend - he is using his marriage issues to get closer to you - in honest terms - he is having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR with you. YOU are the third person in their marriage!! If he is having problems with his wife he ... (read in full...)

My wife is cheating and I don't know what to do, please help!

Q.   i been marry for 18 years with my wife we have 3 kids and she cheated on me with some guy about 3 years ago the in November last year i seen her texting some one she got nervous and hid her cell phone so later that day i found it and was checking ...

A.   10 May 2011: I am so sorry that you are going through such pain. I feel that your decision to stay because of your children is more damaging than if you divorce. Your children will adapt and you deserve better By her having sex with other men is putting ... (read in full...)

Husband's Old Secret Destorys Marraige and Friendship Both

Q.   My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. It was important to him that I get along with his friends when we first met. I managed, including one female whom was friendly, but pushy and boisterous... she was not married at the time I met ...

A.   19 April 2011: you sound like you are in so much pain - pain which has been caused by your husband and this 'friend'. Short and sweet, file for divorce and move on with your life, the two of them deserve each other. This 'friend' has never ever had your... (read in full...)

Do I confront him to what my psychic said or do I keep quiet and say nothing?

Q.   i am at my wits end. I just dont know how to go about this situation, i am hoping i get some advice on what to do here i go .. I saw a pyschic the other day, and he was spot on about a lot of things that he could not possibly know of. but the one ...

A.   15 April 2011: Before you saw the psychic did you have a gut feel that something was wrong with your relationship?? It does sound that you have trust issues, and a clever psychic works on body language, we dont realise that when they say something they watch yo... (read in full...)

My BF is stuck to his other colleague like a "magnet" and I don't know what to do now!

Q.   Hey guys I have a problem, See,I own a horse and I've met my BF through a horse ranch. Lately we've been having issues with our relationship. When it first started I felt so lucky meeting him like I did. He's wealthy handsome and smart. See, he'...

A.   15 April 2011: Sorry hon, but if all he has been doing lately is telling lies and hurting you, I have to say he is no longer into you. Sounds like he is a player and my suggestion is to let him go - he obviously likes the company of this other woman, so let him ... (read in full...)

Is my wife done with me? Or is having sex just once every 5-6 months normal?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 6 years and we have a 2 year old. We use to have sex quite often, but not anymore. I know that things change when you have a kid, but we used to have sex 5 times a week, now it's once every 5-6 months if we are ...

A.   15 April 2011: Hon, there is something wrong in your marriage, and needs to be sorted out. I do suggest you sit down with her and ask her how she is feeling about the marriage and you, and would she be prepared to go to counselling with you. It might be a pos... (read in full...)

Son is dating an older woman with children. How can I make him come to his senses?

Q.   Hi all, I've been pretty confused about something lately and just can't seem to get my mind off of it. I'm really having a hard time figuring out why my son who is 22 y/o is dating this older woman who's 33 and has 2 kids (twins). I feel like he's ...

A.   13 April 2011: Hon, your son is an adult and must now make his way in life. If he makes mistakes he must learn by them. I understand that this woman is not the woman you would like him to be with, but she is HIS choice. I have a son older than yours, and it is... (read in full...)

Why is my ex hiding and lying about the girl he cheated on me with?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend of 3 years had a great relationship.One day he started acting funny so i questioned if everything was okay. He looked at me and said stop being silly everythings fine. the next day he said we need to talk and he told me he was a ...

A.   13 April 2011: Sometimes people find it easier to lie than to tell the truth - he wont tell you the truth because then he will have to admit to himself that he is a liar and a cheat. Honestly, send him a text ending your relationship with him, then stop texting ... (read in full...)

I'm not happy about boyfriend's secretiveness about me!

Q.   hi, i've been seeing a man for over 8 months now and he says he loves me and i do love him too. we're both in our mid forties and although I live with my son in my own house, he lives with his mother in a small spare room. The trouble is, for me...

A.   13 April 2011: What about if you just arrive at his house and introduce yourself?? Usually when a person doesnt want the gf/bf around the family it is because that person is in somewhy attached to a spouse.... Are you positive he is not married?... (read in full...)

Desperate to be touched again

Q.   Looking for a reality check here, particularly from people in longstanding relationships. I’ll try to keep it as short as I can, but I suppose a certain amont of background is necessary. I’m 49, been married for 25 years. The last time I was phys...

A.   13 April 2011: I suggest that you seek the services of a marriage counsellor - and do so immediately!! Cheating is not going to solve anything, infact it will make matters worse. You and your wife need to communicate, this is were a counsellor would help, ma... (read in full...)

Should I run away from home and marry the boy I love?

Q.   hi; i am 25 and dating a guy from past 1 yr , he is a diabetic type-1 from his childhood and fully insulin dependent twice a day. i want to marry him but my parents are refusing because of his diabetis and also because of intercaste marriage...

A.   13 April 2011: I can understand about your parents not wanting you to marry a man of another caste, but it is unfair to blame him for his diabetes, he did not do anything to cause himself to get diabetes. Diabetes is not curable, but it is treatable. I cannot ... (read in full...)

He cheated, and I'm later totally grossed out

Q.   My boyfriend cheated on me a couple years ago with his ex wife. I figured it out and he finally admitted it about a year ago. We have been working on it and overall it is better, but I still have major trouble with one aspect of it. He slept with ...

A.   13 April 2011: What you are feeling is anger at your bf cheating on you. What you are feeling is normal, you are hurt, the trust in the relationship is gone and you have no where to turn. I suggest you find yourself someone, a minister or unbiased friend o... (read in full...)

Do I respect that he's still hurting from being dumped, but then maybe lose him, if another girl connects with him first?

Q.   The guy I like was recently dumped by his GF. He is in love with her. He used to flirt with me before, but more as a friendly flirt. I like him, but he's telling me he's not ready for relationships b/c he still hurting. I cannot tell him how I feel...

A.   25 March 2011: The best you can do is just be there for him. If he links up with the other girls its probably just for sex. He needs time to sort his mind out, dont pressurise him into any decisions as he could come to regret those later on. ... (read in full...)

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