My boyfriend constantly brings up my past, how do I get him to see I've changed and help us move on together?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 11 months. 16 months ago I split up from my husband and went a little crazy, craving attention from absolutely any guy I met. I slept with a few guys but would also get guys numbers and constantly text them and email ...
A. 27 November 2012: Hon, what you do have to understand is that your bf has no trust in you. He doubts everything you tell him or have told him because he caught you lying to him.
I suggest if you really want to work on this relationship you need to find a counsell... (read in full...)
Six months later I'm still grieving at the passing of my grandfather and feel like people think I should be over it
Q. i know this isnt a relationship question but i'm still grieving over my grandpa's death and dont know who to turn to about it. i havent had a nice year, i lost my horse suddenly, i became ill with anemia and then close to a year ago my grandpa w...
A. 26 November 2012: Hon, you have had a lot to deal with and I urge you to find a grief counsellor to chat to. Lifeline offers these services usually for free or a donation.
Grief affects everybody differently and sometimes you need to lean on someone else to ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to fix the problems with my Gf since she cheated. WHAT should I do?
Q. I need help. I have a girlfriend who, like me had a rough childhood, which has ultimately made us both kinda crazy. When we are happy, it is obvious we are in love, but when we are mad, you would think we have been married for 45 years. She...
A. 26 November 2012: Sorry hun, but this problem is not for YOU to fix it is for HER to fix. She has cheated on you - sorry but that is the bottom line - she can blame it on anything but the truth of the matter is SHE CHEATED! Since she is not showing ANY remorse o... (read in full...)
What can I do to discourage this woman who's been having meaninless sex with my husband for two years?
Q. Hello, I'm dealing with my husband's infidelity right now.He's the best hubby in the world and I love him to bits.. Only one tiny little problem.He's been having a meaningless sex fling with this floosy for 2yrs.It's a lady I have to see on a regu...
A. 13 June 2012: Sorry hon, but you need to get rid of the husband then the floozy will go away. Kick him out, seek legal advice and start divorce proceedings against him. Go and get yourself checked for STI's. Stop allowing your husband to treat you l... (read in full...)
He left me for his mistress
Q. Ok i took my husband back after we lived with his mistress for 4months he came back for only 2 and a half months then told me he wasn't in love with me and he was in love with his mistress. She lives 1400 miles away we have two kids. Who he says ...
A. 6 June 2012: Sorry that you are going thru this.
Firstly go NO CONTACT with your husband, stop calling him, texting him in other words act like he doesnt exist. If there is an issue with one of the children, text him a short message. No "I love you's". ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mentally unstable and I can't leave relationship
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for one and a half years. I no longer want to be in the relationship as it feels destructive and neither of us are happy, however whenever I try to end it she guilts me back into it by describing how ...
A. 6 June 2012: You are not responsible for your gf's behaviour. She is emotionally blackmailing you.
Pack your stuff and get out while she is away. If she continues to threaten to kill herself, then report her to the police or lifeline.
You are going... (read in full...)
My wife says I'm a worthless man because I cheated. She cheated first!
Q. My wife keeps calling me a worthless man. I work two jobs to support three kids plus my wife and I feel she is being ungrateful. My wife cheated and I cheated after to get revenge, she has been calling me this ever since. She also says I have don't ...
A. 1 June 2012: Time for you and your wife to seek marriage counselling.
Your wife is feeling hurt that you cheated, however she has not considered that you felt hurt when she cheated. Two wrongs dont make a right, so I would suggest you seek professi... (read in full...)
I think my wife is lying about cheating on me
Q. My wife and I maybe have sex 2 times a month and all of a sudden she feels way too loose ,so much so that i cannot stay erect and I know this is stupid but i asked her if she was using toys or if she was having sex with someone else ,her reply was ...
A. 22 May 2012: Sorry hon, lots of red flags here!! It does sound like she is cheating on you. Time to do the detective thing and find out if she is cheating, then confront her with the evidence. You dont say which std she gave you. Think of it this way,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly talks about himself and has no interest in me
Q. My boyfriend seems to only talk about himself, there's the usual conversation of him asking me how I am, what I've been up to and that'll be it, he'll start to ramble on about his ridiculously large collection of games, or his passion for the ...
A. 22 May 2012: Hon, sounds like your are not into him anymore. Since you say you have only been going out for a short while, why dont you chalk this one up to experience and move on with your life?
... (read in full...)
I asked my husband to move out but he's acting in front of his visiting family like everything is just fine between us!
Q. i have a controlling Husband trying to prove me wrong and put me down quite often - making jibes at me infront of the kids and not helping out at home generally. I work full time and look after home/ two kids. Etc. I warned him before that i had ...
A. 22 May 2012: Well hon, if you are so dead-set on getting him out of the house, then you need to seek legal action.
Go and see an attorney for advice.
However, have you never considered marriage counselling? You dont really tell us enough about what is ha... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my wife pregnant?
Q. I've been married to my wife for over a year now, but I failling to impregnant her, it seems I'm the one with the problem because she never misses her periods. Is it normal? Its now disturbing me. Pliz help. ...
A. 22 May 2012: You and your wife need to discuss this matter with your doctor.... (read in full...)
A man wearing pink skinny jeans?
Q. First reaction/ thought that comes to mind when you see a male wearing red/pink skinny jeans???...
A. 14 May 2012: Generally speaking : pink in South Africa = homosexual.
Personally, I feel that we should be able to wear what we like [in the colours we like] and not be judged by it!!
... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to send flirty messages when one is married and the other involved?
Q. Question I trust my guy of over 16 months but angers me that he send flirty suggestive taggs to one particular woman and she sends them back, she is married. I feel this is sends out the wrong message and when I sat down and talked with him about ...
A. 10 May 2012: Does the husband of this married woman know about these texts? I would guess he doesnt and certainly wouldnt approve of them!
You have two choices here, either get evidence of all these texts and give them to her husband;
or
accept ... (read in full...)
The lack of sex has put me in a constant state of frustration and I don't know what to do
Q. Hi there. I am 53 f engaged to 51 m. We have been living together for 2 years and are getting married later this year. I keep putting off the date as I get a knot in my stomach when I think about it. The problem is that sex is not happenin...
A. 15 March 2012: I think that you should take matters into your own hands... so to speak... Invest in a vibrator and dont be shy to use it!!
You might find that by incorporating some sex toys into your sex life things might get a bit more spiced up.
Does yo... (read in full...)
Why does my daughter love this man?
Q. Why does my daughter love this man? My daughter is a beautiful 23 yr old talented woman ,voice that mimics the likes of Christina,Beyonce.Dating a man 35yrs old,who from the begining of their 9 month relationship has created nothing but drama and ...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, I dont think that there is anything you can do to get your daughter to come home.
Think this is going to have to be a tough love situation, tell her how you feel and tell her that when he finally does dump her, you will be there for her.... (read in full...)
Arrested but the charges were dropped, but my boyfriend has vanished! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months. We have a great relationship and never had a fight. We have said the love word and we are always together. Last Sunday, while together, I was picked up by the police. They arrested me for some ...
A. 15 March 2012: "My boyfriend has blocked me on Facebook and has cut off all communication, his roomates have even unfriended me as well."
Here's your answer - he ran because he didnt want to deal with someone who was on the wrong side of the law.... (read in full...)
Married woman in love with married professor
Q. I am plenty old enough to know that this is no good for me...but I can't stop feeling the way I do. I met him a year and a half ago and I still feel this way. He wasnt married at the time that I met him but I fell in love with his sweet, tender p...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, no you are not in love you are in lust!! All you see is whatever persona this professor shows to the public and you are comparing this 'perfect' person to your husband who you know inside and out.
Do you think your husband hasnt noticed ... (read in full...)
Not ready to take the risk and date again, is it so bad to say to men I want to meet up as friends? Or am I just being a chicken?
Q. They call it a "dry spell", when nothing happens for a very long time, it has been a long time, time that I spent healing past issues and throwing away bagagge, but now I notice that I am just terrified, and just can t do the traditional date: maybe ...
A. 15 March 2012: "Is it so bad to just say: I am sorting through some issues, I like you, can t we meet as friends for some time?"
This is an excellent idea! You will feel safer and it will be easier to move into a deeper relationship with someone who you real... (read in full...)
Has his sex drive decreased with age? Or is he getting it elsewhere?
Q. Hi I'm in a fwb kinda arrangement, I was wondering does a mans sex drive go down with age? he is 36 I am 26. or do you think he is getting it elsewhere? this is what has been happening, when we met he would come round two three times a weeks an...
A. 15 March 2012: Yes, I do think this man is going elsewhere. Since it is a "FWB" type arrangement, well you really dont have cause to question him.... There is no exclusive relationship between you... you are just convenient to him when he cant get sex from ... (read in full...)
So many problems in our marriage and a husband unwilling to work on anything, what should I do?
Q. I have been married 15 years now and i will be the first to admit i was most of the problem in the marriage due to bi polar and low self esteem but my husband has made it tricky too because he suffers from what they call sexual anorexia. i know ...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, sounds like there are lots of unresolved issues, both yours and your husbands.
I think both you and hubby would benefit from some relationship or marriage counselling.... (read in full...)
Ladies, is a 4.25" penis big or small?
Q. Ladies, do you consider a 4.25 inch erect penis to be big or small? Do you have experience with this size? If so how did you like it? ...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, it is perfect.... please try and remember that it is the technique that is important not the size of the tool!... (read in full...)
Rather than dealing with our problems, at the first sign of trouble she goes straight onto dating sites!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3 years now. It appears that every time there is a problem or I am not up to scratch, that instead of telling me what I have done or not done, she goes on date sites and talks to men. For the last year I have been ...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, NOTHING you have done is a reason for cheating on you... yes going onto dating sites is cheating.
You need to draw some boundaries with your gf. Both of you attend relationship counselling and she needs to understand that she is being se... (read in full...)
How do I control my jealousy and inecurities? Or has his behaviour caused me to be like this?
Q. Hi everyone.. i just need some advice. for the last year i have been seeing a lovely man. in this year he's went into great detail about his sex life with previous partners, telling me about how he made this and that happen for these girls and ...
A. 15 March 2012: Sorry Hunni, but this man is not "a lovely man" - he is a player, and quite possibly is cheating on you.
When he tells you about his sexual prowess with other women what is expecting??? Perhaps he sees you as 'one of the guys' and by discussi... (read in full...)
Does he love me or is he messing with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months or so. (I'm 29, he's 35). We spend a few days and/or nights together each week, and we keep in touch every day via phone/texting. We have not said the "L" word yet, but we have done other things ...
A. 15 March 2012: Mmmm... maybe you should tell him you love him!
Some guys just dont like to use the "L" word.. so you get in first and guage his reaction!... (read in full...)
I am tired of living with a dog I don't want and a wife I don't trust.
Q. I live in a small 2 bedroom condo with my handicapped wife and our two girls, 8 and 5. We run a business out of our home as well. Needless to say, the place is crowded and life for me is restrictive. For years my wife has asked if she could get...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, is this really all about the dog or is the dog just what has set off this whole lot of anger in you?
You sound like you have the world on your shoulders and trying to juggle home and business with very little help from the family. ... (read in full...)
Why do these few faults in my fiance make me feel like he is replaceable when I know that I will never find another guy who will be there for a woman who has 4 kids and a truckload of baggage?
Q. I have been with my fiance "Juan" for 5 years and we make a great couple and a great team. But he frustrates me. He occasionally insults me about my weight and says I am lazy when it's a symptom of my depression (my doctor and I are trying out ...
A. 15 March 2012: Hunni, first of all you dont need to be called names and insulted... this is a form of EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
Ever heard about wife-beaters who buy their spouse gift the day after they have beaten them bloody? Does that make the beating ok?? NO IT D... (read in full...)
Pictures of my boyfriend with girls on his lap, trips to strip clubs and hanging out with wild girls.....I'm not happy about this, but he says I'm taking away his freedom!
Q. Hello everyone, i am facing an issue and i cant figure exactly whats the underlying cause. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years.And right now we are doing longdistance due to college.I love him a lot and he loves me too;however we are having s...
A. 14 March 2012: This guy wants to be single as well as have a faithful gf waiting at home for him.
NO WAY!!!
You dont need this in your life. ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings about my friend after she gave me tainted drugs.....
Q. I can't see objectively outside of my situation and need advice. I am in grad school and I was with someone I thought was my best friend. this is NOT my typical lifestyle, but I had a couple sips of a beer and I took a puff of pot, and immediately ...
A. 14 March 2012: Okay, so this friend also too a couple of puffs of the same pot that sent you on a monumental trip?? And how did they affect her, probably she is used to whatever was mixed into the pot.
Learn a vauable lesson from this, not everyone has your bes... (read in full...)
My boss is married. He rubs and pats me at work. What are your thoughts? He's older but attractive to me.
Q. I've been working at a local restaurant in my town for almost two months now. It's the first real job I've ever had. I've been recently getting vibes from my boss. Last week, we had a moment. The area behind the counter is very narrow. My co-wo...
A. 14 March 2012: Sorry but this man is married that means he is OFF LIMITS so keep whatever thoughts you have as a fantasy.
... (read in full...)
He had sex with his ex....we were seperated but neither of us had filed for divorce, so did he cheat on me?
Q. My husband and I were separated for a year. After the first 6 months we started to talk and go out to dinner and such. We do have a daughter together and we were only married a little over a year when we separated. We worked on things and he had ...
A. 14 March 2012: This is a difficult one and all depends on one's viewpoint.
Separation usually means the end of the relationship however I concur from your post that during the separation you didnt seek a relationship with another man. He on the otherhan... (read in full...)
My son's father walked out on us and my son has gone from being a sweet, innocent, clever child to an angry, resentful boy
Q. I have a serious problem thats ruining my life no end. Ive been a single mother(technically) for a couple of years now since my sons father decided todo a dissapearing act. I always managed to cover this up with a story about my sons father work...
A. 14 March 2012: It sounds like your son is very confused with what is happening in his life.
I suggest that you get your son to a child psychologist as soon as possible.
Bribing him is a good idea for the short term but what happens when bribes no longer... (read in full...)
Dating a guy but found out my best friend liked him too and now we barely speak! Should I break up with him to save our friendship?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for 3 months now. Only thin is I found out my best friend liked him as well. I found this out a month ago. When she heard we were dating she told me and said that it's gonna take a while to get used too. Since then, we ...
A. 14 March 2012: If you like this guy carry on dating him.
Just because your friend likes him too is no reason to dump him.... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?
Q. I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...
A. 14 March 2012: Why do you have a need to tell her?
... (read in full...)
Why did she have to go to some random guy at a party to make her feel special?
Q. ok people i need some help im going to try to keep this as simple as i can but no promises. soooooo me and my gf are dating for almost 2 yrs and we have had our good days and bad days just like everyone, this just so happens to be the bad days....
A. 14 March 2012: Sorry but your gf cheated on your with that other random drunk guy.
Sit down with her and discuss your relationship as there is obviously wrong. Maybe she just isnt into you that much anymore.. but regardless cheating is NOT the way to sort out... (read in full...)
He asked to be my FWB, I turned him down because I want a relationship, then he claims to have feelings for his ex wife but got upset when he saw me kiss another man! What is going on?
Q. Hi everyone this is the situation, I met a man a year ago today, he had split from him wife nearly two year before we met. we agreed to take things slow then he asked me if we could be fwbs to which I told him no I want a proper relationship with ...
A. 14 March 2012: Outstanding advice from AuntyEm.
... (read in full...)
She's been dating him and me for almost 4 years, now she says she wants me. Is she lying?
Q. I'm so confused right know I've been sorta dating this girl now for almost four years now and I am madly in love with her but she also has a boyfriend of three years. And she was always sleeping around with other guys and then lieing to me about it ...
A. 9 March 2012: Clearly this is a bad relationship. She is cheating on you, as well as cheating on her other bf, then she is also sleeping with other guys as well....
Honey, pack your bags and run. In the event the child she is carrying is yours [DNA testing ... (read in full...)
Am I jealous? Or do I have something to actually be woried about regarding my Gf's actions????
Q. I have been dating my girl for a year and a half and love her so much we are planning to get married net year. But one thing i need to know is if she is cheating on me , she has a male friend which she goes out to dinner with once a fortnight and ...
A. 3 March 2012: Sorry hon, lots of red flags here. Sounds like she doesnt want you along because you would be in the way.
I think that marriage plans should be called off until you can find out what is going on.
... (read in full...)
Why would my Bf react in this very strong way when I touched his anal area?
Q. Most men like some anal activity; yes or no?? Is it wrong to insert a finger in your bf anus if you blow him? My bf almost went beserk and told me to NOT do that!!Is he scared that i might find out he had sex with another man....or is he just scar...
A. 3 March 2012: Some men like and some dont - your bf obviously doesnt like it.
Just because he doesnt like you touching his anus doesnt mean that he has had sex with another man. You dont know the circumstances if he did have sex with another man, maybe he... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to understand why my husband had affairs!
Q. My husband established two illicit text relationships over a period of two months, he slept with one of the woman after getting seriously drunk. I have decided to give him a second chance and I am plagued with the usual hauntings a victim of an ...
A. 2 March 2012: Why did your husband have affairs? Well because he is selfish and only thinks of himself and his needs.
He has something inside of him that needs fixing.
PM me if you want to chat further.... (read in full...)
My FWB keeps pushing me for a threesome and I am just not interested. How do I communicate this?
Q. I have a casual acquaintance that I sleep with. We have been together a couple of years. She sleeps with other people, too, and I am fine with that. The problem I am having is that more and more often she keeps suggesting that we involve the...
A. 2 March 2012: Hon, just tell her that adding others to the mix just does not do it for you.
I do hope that you are being careful and using a condom and going for regular STD checkups... ... (read in full...)
She used to have affairs with married men. Is she dating material??
Q. I met this really beautiful girl a couple months ago. She seemed nice and sweet too. Almost too good to be true! I asked her to lunch and surprise to me she said yes. We sort of started a relationship. I mean not too serious yet. Just movies a...
A. 1 March 2012: "She said sometimes it happened when she was a student and also when she moved to the city where we live. She needed the money"
Do I read this right... she had sex with married men for money? Wow, so what do you think this makes her? Definite... (read in full...)
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