My wife went to an adults-only topless pool in Vegas. I'm not so sure what to think about it
Q. My wife recently went on a bachelorette party to Las Vegas. Some of the girls decided to go to the adults-only topless pool. My wife and a couple other girls (single) decided to take their tops off. The one's who were married did not. My wife ...
A. 10 September 2015: mmm.... couple of red flags here.. first your wife bared her breasts infront of other people, and if she was so comfortable doing this, perhaps she has done it before? I am under the impression that these adults-only topless pools were for ... (read in full...)
Do I let my wife have a threesome with 2 guys? I feel I'll lose either way
Q. My wife wants me to watch her have sex with 2 of my buddys Do most girls want to have sex with 2 guys at the same time ??? I don't know what to tell her. If I say no. ??? She may cheat. ?? If I say yes she may always wAnt it. ???...
A. 11 August 2015: If this is something that your wife is desperate to do, then there is no hope for your marriage.
She would rather give you and her marriage up to have sex with other people.
Also, you mention being worried about her possibly cheating if you ... (read in full...)
He's mean to me and I don't feel loved. What do I do?
Q. Why does he always shout at me? He says I complain to much:(? So I ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. He s been unemployed over half the time we ve been together. I ve supported him financially, I ve been there when he had no one, pra...
A. 6 August 2015: Cant say anything more than what the other Agony Aunts have suggested.
Please listen to them!... (read in full...)
He has never divorced his wife. It makes me uncomfortable and I'm wondering why he hasn't divorced her!
Q. Hi, I have been dating a guy i met in a social group, for around 4 months. After a few dates, he told me he was married but separated, for 7 years. Now had I known this beforehand I would not have dated him as I didn't want the emotional baggag...
A. 6 August 2015: Sorry hon, this man is just loving all the female attention.. you on one side and his WIFE on the other..
Time to move on, he is really not worth the effort.
Oh, and by the way he behaves I would doubt that he was telling the truth about his ... (read in full...)
How do we choose a couples therapist we both like?
Q. My wife and I have had some troubles in our marriage and agreed to go to therapy to see if we can work through them. The trouble is that we have trouble agreeing on who to see. We got some names by searching the Internet for reviews. Pl...
A. 6 August 2015: "I don't like to discuss intimate details of my life (sexual or otherwise) with men "
"All the rest of my friends are female"
These two statements are worrying....
If you are more at ease with telling your intimate details to a female ... (read in full...)
I feel unloved by my partner and don't know how to fix it
Q. I feel really unloved by my partner of six years and dont know how to fix this. Every night when we get home from work he sits on playstation and I sit downstairs alone. If i get him to spend time with me, he acts ezasperated and like hes doing me a ...
A. 6 August 2015: Hon, stop waiting for him. He is content with his playstation. Stop doing his washing, cooking etc., Start dressing up and going out with your friends.
Don't stay home and wait for him to notice you, because he won't.
It does sound like ... (read in full...)
Should I call it a day? I forgave him the affair but now he seems to be hiding things!
Q. I've asked for advice on numerous occasions regarding my partner, now of 10 years and a lot of you told me then to get rid of him as long ago as 5 years but Ihave always thought things would change. However, I then found that he has cheated on me ...
A. 6 August 2015: Hon, this man has shown you who he really is, a liar and a cheat.
I strongly suggest that you get your ducks in a row and leave him
You need to have a full panel of STI checks done as well as HIV as he is putting your health at risk.
... (read in full...)
Cheating online boyfriend
Q. I met a guy on a dating site in another state in July 2012 who lived on the other side of the country. Well After September and talking everyday on the phone we said we'd be exclusive and 'date'. We chatted and talked everyday on the phone, sent ...
A. 1 July 2015: Hon, this guy is showing you who he really is - a liar, cheat and a jerk.
He is probably spending every free minute he has trolling the internet for women to chat to. He will never be faithful to any one woman.
He is only telling you that... (read in full...)
Is it ok to help him out with money until he starts to get paid again? How do I make it clear it's temporary help?
Q. I recently started dating a guy, i really like a lot. He has been laid off of his job. Is it ok to help him out with money until he starts to get paid again? I dont make a lot of money but i live comfortably. If i do this how can i make sure he...
A. 26 June 2015: Hon, You are doing too much for this guy. You have only recently started dating and you want to lend him money and you are being his unpaid cleaning service. STOP!
What did he used to do before you were on the scene? He used to clean up after... (read in full...)
I just want someone to tell me if my feelings are justified?!! Or not?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now and things have never been perfect from the start but I chose to ignore the first warning signs. We met years ago then lost contact and started talking online again 3 years ago, we decided ...
A. 26 June 2015: Hon, but this man has very poor boundaries when it comes to other women, and if anything will destroy a relationship it is lack of trust because a partner lies and cheats.
Yes, face it, he is a liar and is cheating on you.
You say the relation... (read in full...)
He has double standards and I'm not sure how to approach this! Help?
Q. I met a man a year and half ago. He had just been divorced and has full custody of his two kids. We moved in together in January and now we are talking about getting married, but I have a major issue now. When I was moving my stuff in he didn't want ...
A. 26 June 2015: Hon, rethink getting married to this man. He has some serious issues one of which is CONTROL. I also think that he might have issues with trust with you - even though you have done nothing to break his trust.
Think carefully before settling... (read in full...)
He sent this woman sexual text messages but he said he did it because he thought it was a friend of mine I sent to play a trick
Q. Hello i am a 37 year old woman and i have been in a relationship with this 50 year old man for two years. We've gad some rocky times but overall its been nice, we love each other and we had plans to marry, but last night i was on the phone with him ...
A. 26 June 2015: I would say that his story is all lies... I have no doubt he is on dating sites and playing the field.
Be kind to yourself and find someone who will be honest and trustworthy.
Oh, and sorry to bring this up, but as you probably have an intimate... (read in full...)
Without making her mad, how do I let her know I want to sleep with her?
Q. I just met a woman at new housing development and signed paper work to buy a house from. She is know longer with the company and I have met with her once for coffee. My question is how can i let her i want to sleep with her witout offending her or ...
A. 26 June 2015: So this is all about your want to have sex with a woman that you barely know?
Bit selfish I would say.
Why don't you get to know her first, that is if she is actually interested in you and see where that leads.
If you just proposition her... (read in full...)
Love/loveless relationship?
Q. How do you feel after you've been in a relationship over a year? I'm struggling with what love actually is. My boyfriend and I are about to the point where in the next year or so we might marry, but I don't know if I love him back in the right way. ...
A. 26 June 2015: "We've spoken about it, and he said he knows he can make everything work, and make me happy."
Yes, he might be able to make you happy temporarily, but you will never be happy within yourself.
Suggestion is for you to see a counsellor to di... (read in full...)
He's amicably seperated but procrastinates about divorce
Q. I am in desperate need of advice. My boyfriend has been seperated and not living with his wife for five years, they have no kids. We have been dating for 3 and a half years. My boyfriend and his ex are friends and as a child of divorced parents ...
A. 26 June 2015: Hon, he has no intention of divorcing his wife to be with you. If he was truly into you and committed to spending the rest of his life with you he would have divorced her already.
He is sitting on the fence here, got you on one side and the wife... (read in full...)
Should I respond or shut it down?
Q. Sheesh this is a long one, sorry! I was with this guy for almost 2 years. While it wasn't the best of relationships (it was rife with cheating and all sorts of lies and disrespect) he was my first pretty much everything and I really really li...
A. 26 June 2015: Wow.. this guy is a jerk! He was very comfortable having you as FWB and it just didn't get in the way of his 'other' life...
You have been played. Delete him, block him, ignore him. ... (read in full...)
My current Bf claims my vagina is too loose and accuses me of cheating. What else would make it feel loose to him?
Q. I had my daughter at the age of 14 through a c-section.. i have had several of sex partners in the years since then and no one has ever complained about my vagina except my current boyfriend. He believes i'm cheating on him cause he say my vagin...
A. 22 June 2015: There is only one answer for your bf.... GOODBYE!
Listen to what the other Agony Aunts are saying to you.. excellent advice!... (read in full...)
Why is this ex trying to turn friends against me?
Q. Why is an ex trying to turn my friends against me? I had a brief affair with a guy who was a bit of a player - chatting and flirting with women etc. I told him I didn't think I could be part of his life like it is and told one of my friends that ...
A. 22 June 2015: I agree.. Who cares what he thinks??
So you outed him - burst his little bubble.. some players really don't like it when faced with home truths!
... (read in full...)
My friend says it's emotional blackmail. My mother says breakup with him. He's my first ''proper'' relationship. What should I do?
Q. So I've been in a relationship for 2 years, I just turned 17 and I have known him for goodness knows how long, we went to primary together and I know people say going out with you best friend never work but I genuinely thought we did, until the last ...
A. 22 June 2015: Hon, this guy is an emotional abuser, and don't for one minute think that as time goes by things will get better... they will get worse.
It will eventually get to a point where he is physically abusing you.
Also please remember you are... (read in full...)
Has he got a compulsive addiction? Dating him for 4 years. My bf's unusual obsession is joining free dating sites.
Q. I have been in a relationship for more than 4 years. This has been held back by my bf's unusual obsession with joining free dating sites. It had been a good few months and I really thought he at last had learned his lesson. Clumsily he ac...
A. 22 June 2015: Wow... Huge red flags here...
* He is on dating sites
* He has another mobile phone
* He is sending and receiving sexual pictures
What should you do?
Dump his ass as fast as you can. This man will bring you nothing but pain. If you ha... (read in full...)
I don't want things to get uncomfortable at work, but could she be indicating that she likes me?
Q. I have this coworker, She have a BF who lives in New Jersey and we live in Texas and work at a restaurant together. She's sarcastic to me, sometimes laughs at my jokes, we hung out once at my house before work just watched tv for 30mins Tod...
A. 22 June 2015: She could be fishing.... trying to find out whether you are interested in her... which would be a bad idea. She has a BF.
Rather keep things professional. If she is really into you then she must break up with the BF.
... (read in full...)
What was my G/f (who I'm in a Long Distance Relationship with) doing at 4:00 AM and why is she evading my question?
Q. Hi there, I'm not sure how these things work so I'm just going to post the situation and hope for a response. My girlfriend attends the University in Liverpool and I'm home in Coventry, it's been like this for about a year now and the long distance...
A. 25 May 2015: Hey maybe she couldn't sleep? I think that you are over-reacting.
If you don't trust her for whatever reason, then you need to discuss this with her and part ways. Then you wont have to worry about her being awake at 4am!... (read in full...)
Why does my ex blame me for his failed conquests?
Q. Why does my ex blame me for his failed conquests? I fell out with a guy I had a brief fling with. He is one of these smooth talkers, who likes to chat the women up - so I said I couldn't cope with his flirting around etc anymore. So anyway, we fi...
A. 25 May 2015: This man is a jerk - he is playing the "I am a victim" card making out that you are the baddie in the situation. You see... it makes him feel better about himself and makes it easier to blame his poor choices/actions on someone else.
He is not w... (read in full...)
A man I chatted with online showed up unexpectedly at my home and now I am creeped out. What should I do?
Q. Hey all. So a year ago I met a guy online on an Expat blog through travel groups. Groups that travel together and have lots in common. In the group we had all planned to go to spain but i cancelled it because the booked date was my mum's birthd...
A. 25 May 2015: This guy sounds like a stalker. Honeypie & AlexaT have given you awesome advice. HEED IT!... (read in full...)
Should I allow my boyfriend to keep his ex in his life?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years but I don't think we should be together anymore. I've tried to end things on a few occasions lately but I can never just stick to my guns and cut all ties with him. I did love him a lot at one...
A. 25 May 2015: Sorry Hon, but sounds like you bf is cheating on you with his exgf.
He gets angry with you when you stand up for yourself - it is his way of controlling you - he likes his life - you on one side and her on the other!
If you want to be adult... (read in full...)
I'm tired of my boyfriend's mother blaming me when he does something wrong
Q. I'm tired of my mother in law (MOD NOTE: technically boyfriend's mom..they aren't married) I have been living with her for 2 years now but one thing she does in particular annoys the shit out of me whenever my boyfriend her son posses her off I get ...
A. 22 May 2015: Time for you and your bf to look for a place of your own.
Maybe his mother is finding that she needs her space and doesn't need a grown up child and his partner living at home.... (read in full...)
Its going on 2 years, we've never met and he won't respond to my questions of "what are we"
Q. So I've been in this Long-distance "relationship" for more than over 1 yr., almost 2. I'm 21 and he's 26, we met on an app and have been talking ever since. Yes we have seen each other so there's no cat fishing here. He lives more up north and I ...
A. 22 May 2015: Sorry Hon, but you don't have a "relationship".
Cut all ties with this guy and go out there and find yourself a real bf.
You know nothing about this guy - yes he has told you all the things you want to hear - but that is all it is.. word... (read in full...)
He's been visiting a single female friend's home and did not tell me. Am I over-reacting to this?
Q. Would you be ok with your husband going to single female friend's house to hang out alone with her? Husband has done this more than once without telling me and i've just found out. He promises nothing is going on with her and that he just wasn't t...
A. 18 May 2015: NO you are definitely not overreacting.
It is inappropriate behaviour and not acceptable. He is trying to make out that you are crazy and irrational... How would he have acted if you were visiting a single man? I have no doubt he would have acc... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex believes we were cheating before they broke up and keeps writing nasty things online about me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend officially for about a month, but we have been seeing each other since early February. We worked together for a while last year, so I knew him before when he was with his ex girlfriend. I totally admit, I liked him then...
A. 18 May 2015: Your BF needs to block her from facebook. Stop all contact with her.
The less she knows about what's happening in your lives the better.
If you have to, deactivate your FB profiles completely. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me badly and I worry that it will continue after I marry him
Q. hi I am 23 year old and I know my boyfriend since primary school. our parents are friends and we became friends as well .we are in a relationship since 10 grade. the problem is ,he sometimes abuses me , makes me cry for some stupid nonsense stuff an...
A. 18 May 2015: Sorry Hon, but just because you marry someone it doesn't magically change them!
There are lots of red flags here, my advice to you is to get out of this relationship. He doesn't love you, he just wants to control you. Once you are married ... (read in full...)
I lost my grandfather and my boyfriend in the same week and 5 months later I'm still not coping well!
Q. Having a hard time, not sure where to begin. I lost my Grandad whom was very close to us and split up with my boyfriend the same week as his funeral. Everyone around me is sad and my Nan isn't coping well but is refusing help, to leave the house et...
A. 18 May 2015: Hon, please get yourself into counselling. You have been through a lot recently and a counsellor would be able to teach you how to cope. Alternatively, go and see your Doctor, he/she would also be able to advise you on where to go to from here.
... (read in full...)
I've given him lots of hints that I would like to date him ....
Q. I work with a guy that I think likes me. We talk almost every day. We do not work in the same department so we don't see each other except in passing occasionally during the day, so it's usually on the way in that we talk. We text almost every ...
A. 14 May 2015: Okay, are you sure he is not married or has a girlfriend? He might just enjoy the chatting but doesn't want to take it further because he is committed to someone else?
If he is indeed completely single - then ask him out - and tell him that it ... (read in full...)
I didn't even notice he was cheating on me .......
Q. My ex cheated on me repeatedly throughout our relationship, until I had a bad car crash and spent a long time recovering. He would later tell me that it made him realise what he had and he didn't want to lose me. I thought everything was going ...
A. 14 May 2015: Hon, his actions are his actions to own. Nothing you did could have changed his mind.
He is and always will be a selfish person. You are definitely better without him. The feelings you are having is because you would never cheat on him and ... (read in full...)
She is 42 years old. What do I need to consider when I go on our first date together?
Q. Modnote: later correction made to title based on followup post by the Original Poster .................. Hello everyone I am dyslexic with a So if my English is hard to reaped I apologize. Well everyone I been out from seven years I dated wom...
A. 14 May 2015:
Just be your usual self, and enjoy your date! Don't be in too much of a hurry to see it as a serious relationship, she might just want friendship. Just go with the flow!... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 14 May 2015: Bit odd that this has gone on for so long, are you sure he is telling you the truth about being a widower?
Just the fact that after 2 years you are no closer to meeting the family is a red flag.
You need to tell him how you feel and if ther... (read in full...)
Should I listen to my instincts and cut her from my life?
Q. Hi, I am writing again to put this into more depth so you Aunts can help me decide a bit more if I have the problem or does she? I have become really suspicious of my so called 'female' friend. Last year we used to get on well - until she became...
A. 14 May 2015: Hon, this girl is not a friend. Block her from your FB and have as little contact with her as possible.
Friends don't treat other friends this way.... (read in full...)
Every time I think about him I feel ten times worse!
Q. I've got depression, dropped out of uni due to it and am stuck back at home again with an abusive family due to financial reasons. I have no friends but I did meet a guy through temp work, who's older, in his thirties. He was bullying and rud...
A. 13 May 2015: Firstly I would suggest you get yourself to your Dr and discuss your depression, get some meds to help you to cope better.
It might help for you to find a counsellor to chat to about your issues, I do feel with would be of great benefit to you.... (read in full...)
Do you think it is a reasonable action on my part to ask my boyfriend for a loan? I don't think I can ask anyone else
Q. I'm a young female who is currently going through a struggle financially. I had lost my job and am in the process of finding a new one. I've been in a serious relationship with a great man for over 3 years. He has a great job and does good for hi...
A. 13 May 2015: What do you plan to use the money for? Surely if you are in such dire need of money your bf can see and would offer to help?... (read in full...)
Should I have to give up on my dream of travelling?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years, he is studying at university and I am working full times and have been since I was 18. The thing is I am suffering through some hard times and I want to get away from my home town for a bit. My dream ...
A. 13 May 2015: You are still so young, go and experience the world. You are only young once, and before you know it - you are settled with a mortgage and kids, and then there is no chance of experiencing these things.
Your bf's attitude is a bit worrying... (read in full...)
When is my man likely to feel motivated enough to tell me that he loves me? what could be holding him back?
Q. When will my man say that he loves me? We've been together for 4 months. I've asked some of my girlfriends and they've said he should have said it after about 3 months. We spend every free moment we can together, we have similar interests, he al...
A. 13 May 2015: There's no time limit on when a person should say the "L" word. In my opinion you should look at his actions, he sounds like he is really into you.
Don't be in a hurry just to hear him say he loves you, let him take his time... maybe he feels yo... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for my boyfriend to give his number to other women?
Q. Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to continuously accept other girls numbers and/or give his number out to other women? I'm in a long term relationship and I've noticed that my boyfriend has done this several times through out the course of ou...
A. 8 May 2015: How would your bf feel if you randomly handed out your mobile number to other men? I don't think he would like it at all.
Time to have a chat with him.... !
... (read in full...)
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