Do I risk our relationship and hurt his feelings or do I keep this to myself?
Q. I've been with my bf for a number of years and we are childhood sweethearts. we're at the stage where we're both ready to get engaged and i don't think it will be long before he asks me to marry him. all sounds good but..... about 2 years ago, whi...
A. 23 September 2008: Doesn't sound much to me like you are deciding wheather to tell him or not because of him. It sound more like its all to do with you. You say you're quite sure he wouldn't split with you, but know that it will devestate him.
So wheres the bene... (read in full...)
She wants him to give her money, if he doesn't - he doesn't get any sex either.
Q. I met a 40yr old man that had been living with a 19 yr old and he was gaga over her. she decided to call it quits. Though it boosted his ego 'cause of her age, said he probably would not ever get it again {the age thing}. He has been married to an a...
A. 23 September 2008: so he's a pikey basically. Even more reason to be glad you haven't got him. Anyone that goes out their way to avoid paying for their children is a low life anyway. And its a classic the older guys that go for younger girls because they cant maintain ... (read in full...)
Do you think he only wants me for one thing?...
Q. hiya .. i have been with me boyfriend nearly 7 months now and everything was going perfect i havnt slept with him yet but last friday i at slept his house and was too drunk to do anything with him .. the next day i got a text of him saying i dont ...
A. 22 September 2008: He's waited 7 months to sleep with you, and you wonder if he'sonly after 1 thing? It doesn't sound like it to me. He might be thinking your drinking bothers him, or he might be thinking its never going to happen. If we are in long term ... (read in full...)
Why did her feelings for me fade as soon as she moved in? Did she do all this just to use me?
Q. Before I met my girlfriend it was always her dream to come and liveand wrk in my country, we met and a long distance relationship developed,and we visited eachother. I moved Heaven and Earth for her and her Daughter to come over, never ever done so ...
A. 22 September 2008: She maybe got homesick?
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
She wants him to give her money, if he doesn't - he doesn't get any sex either.
Q. I met a 40yr old man that had been living with a 19 yr old and he was gaga over her. she decided to call it quits. Though it boosted his ego 'cause of her age, said he probably would not ever get it again {the age thing}. He has been married to an a...
A. 22 September 2008: He sounds like a bozo. Wreckless and no ability to plan ahead. Had a lucky escape didn't you!
Blokes that allow themselves to be used are not emotionally stable and would make a bad relationship prospect.
c xxxxx... (read in full...)
What are the rules of a casual relationship?? We connect intellectually and will provide comfort, intimacy and attention to each other, but neither of us is ready for a serious deal!
Q. what are the rules of a casual relationship? Hi all, I'm in a 'contractual' relationship with a guy. He's 10 years older than me, divorced and is not looking for a serious relationship. Plus he's not local. I just got out of a messy relationship as ...
A. 21 September 2008: What you wrote started off sounding ideal. By the end, why are alarm bells ringing about this guy? Doesn't want you to date anyone else, yet doesn't want to get serious with you, but wants sex etc? Hmmmm seriously smelling a rat. Sounds very ... (read in full...)
Is he asking me to coffee because he's being 'nice', or is he asking me on a date? He's married!
Q. I've known this guy for about a year now. He's 11 years older than I am, married, and I'm confused about his intentions. I always made sure that we only interacted at work. I'm not going to deny that there is an attraction there, but I'm not that...
A. 21 September 2008: Of course he's inviting you to coffee for other reasons, he's not just looking for a chat about work lol
You might not be 'that kind of girl' but he's somehow got the impression you are.
Be cautious. I smell a rat. Dont you?
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
I'm a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl...
Q. i am a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl..im also impotent but manage to satify my girl in other ways..we love each other very much..i have tried to end it with her...for her sake but she wont have it...am i being selfish in ...
A. 21 September 2008: Your being foolish, i dont know about selfish. I would be willing to bet my life on a 20 yr old wanting to move onto someone nearer her age within, say, atleast a yr. Its got no chance of working long term. You cant offer her children, you cant ... (read in full...)
Why do girls keep running back to the guy they know hurt them most?
Q. why do girls keep running back to the guy they know hurt them most? what the hell is it?? i was once a strong girl who never thought to do that...but once i opened up my heart to someone, they basically threw it back in my face and even though after ...
A. 21 September 2008: Lots of reasons. Scared of being single, love addiction, numerous varied reasons.
Its a case of being stubborn and knowing you will move on eventually.
It helps if you have had good relationships in the past, because you know you can and have don... (read in full...)
They say time heals but how long will it take to get over my break up?
Q. how do you get over a guy? its been a month and i was doing fine then all of a sudden i start missing him and start thinking about him even though i know that we could never work because we're just too different and he doesnt match my needs. I cant ...
A. 21 September 2008: Thats the mind playing tricks, happens to most of us at some point. Its like giving up smoking, you know its no good for you so you stop, but then your mind gets depressed about it, so you go back to it, then you remember why you stopped before. Its ... (read in full...)
What do I do if I want to marry my fiance but he's technically married to someone else?
Q. What do I do if I want to get married Now to my Fiance but he is still techinally married to someone else? ...
A. 21 September 2008: Then they can get a divorce based on 2 yr seperation. If she hadn't consented, it would of been 5. When i got divorced 16 yrs ago, i did it myself through the court on the 2 yr seperation, and it cost 50 quid! Ah just noticed, You're in the states ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm addicted to my ex! Is there anything I can do?
Q. I dated the girl since my senior year in high school. She was a sophomore at the time. I went to college about 30 minutes away from our hometown so I came back most weekends to see her. After 2 years, she broke it off because she didn't want to do ...
A. 20 September 2008: Dont think because someone posts stuff on f/b that they are all hunky dorey. We all do it, split with someone, feel crap inside, but still post those silly bits about what a good night we had out on the piss in the status bit. But its usually ... (read in full...)
I wake up feeling miserable and my chest hurts. What is it, and how can I avoid it?
Q. Do you ever wake up feeling angry or miserable? This morning, like many mornings, I woke up in a sort of "I just don't care" sort of mood. Also, there's this sort of... tight feeling in my chest, which worries me. What is this?? I got probably ju...
A. 20 September 2008: Sounds like stress and anxiety maybe. Have a look on 'no more panic' web site. Chest pain is quite common with anxiety.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I am ashamed that we are hurting both of our spouses but no matter how hard I try I cannot give him up. Your thoughts? Do you think he'll leave his wife?
Q. My lover said he wants to leave his wife to marry me but keep her as a a business partner. Do you think that he is just keeping her around because he is afraid to let go of her completely? We have been having an emotional affair for about 2 year...
A. 20 September 2008: Well me and my kids dad split in the feb 7 yrs ago officially, but he still lived with us until the following november, so it can work. We didn't argue though, never really had, so that made it easier.
I actually met him originally at work too. And ... (read in full...)
What do I do if I want to marry my fiance but he's technically married to someone else?
Q. What do I do if I want to get married Now to my Fiance but he is still techinally married to someone else? ...
A. 20 September 2008: He commits bigamy.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I am ashamed that we are hurting both of our spouses but no matter how hard I try I cannot give him up. Your thoughts? Do you think he'll leave his wife?
Q. My lover said he wants to leave his wife to marry me but keep her as a a business partner. Do you think that he is just keeping her around because he is afraid to let go of her completely? We have been having an emotional affair for about 2 year...
A. 20 September 2008: Sounds more like symptoms of lust that. You know its love when you dont mind them leaving their dirty undies on the floor (well, might mind, but put up with) and various other symptoms. I dont remember going dizzy when i loved someone.
But the fact... (read in full...)
How can he really love me if he's with someone else?
Q. I really need help! Jusge me if you want but I was 16 at the time and naive now I am stuck! I started to see this guy when I was 16, he was bit older than me. When we first went on a date he told me he had a girlfriend and like an idiot i carried on ...
A. 19 September 2008: No he doesn't love you, and he doesn't love her either if you ask me. You are the sex, she is the stability. End of.
He's a low life, why would you want him? He has cheated on his wife since before they were even married. Why would you want a blok... (read in full...)
HOw do I fall out of love with the man I am having an affair with?
Q. Hi, I'm having an affair with a married man....yes i'm married too. we're friends and about two years ago we stepped over that line. .....I've always thought that people who have affairs are cold people only thinking of themselves and vowed...
A. 19 September 2008: I'm struggling to understand how not splitting from your husband is worse than cheating on their father, and them also basically.
Morals all over the place and using this affair as escapism. Yes, i expect we have all done it to a varying degree at s... (read in full...)
How do open relationships work? Why would anyone want to have one?
Q. How do open relationships work? What happens if you fall for one of the 'other people' you've been messing around with? Isn't it just asking for trouble? I recently met a married guy who I have strong feelings for- who has an open relationshi...
A. 19 September 2008: It wouldn't be for me. The thought of sharing someone with someone else is yuk. But i'm old lol
C xxxx... (read in full...)
She is listed in her profile as being in an open relationship. I told her we should meet. Is there any way I could consider a possibility of a relationship at some point?
Q. As I mentioned, I am starting uni soon. I added a few people on facebook doing the same course or are in the same hall as me. Anyway, I was talking to a girl I added a few weeks ago today on the facebook IM service. She doesn't know anyone...
A. 19 September 2008: Definately sounds like loose morals then. The person she's in the open relationship is obviously very insignificant. And i would be wondering WHY they were in an open relationship. If she's on a dating site looking for dates, does she just want a ... (read in full...)
She is listed in her profile as being in an open relationship. I told her we should meet. Is there any way I could consider a possibility of a relationship at some point?
Q. As I mentioned, I am starting uni soon. I added a few people on facebook doing the same course or are in the same hall as me. Anyway, I was talking to a girl I added a few weeks ago today on the facebook IM service. She doesn't know anyone...
A. 19 September 2008: Not meaning it horrible, but this girl has very loose morals. To be able to be in an open relationship, i personally believe you have to have.
In which case can you see yourself with someone like that?
You cant expect her to change for you or want ... (read in full...)
I got called a fat cow and now I'm paranoid....am I overweight??
Q. Well, i just wanted to no if you think im over weight, Im 14 nearly 15, im 7 stone 2 Lbs and 5"4-5, i think im pretty chubby for my height and age, all my friends tell me im not fat and that im skinny, but the other day this person called me a fat ...
A. 19 September 2008: 5'4 and 7 stone? Well i was 5'3 and about 7 and a half stone when i got married at 18, and i was skinny! Shoulder blades poking out in my off the shoulder dress. I'm now 10 stone! But apparently my bmi is only just over normal. So i wouldn't say you ... (read in full...)
The 'situation' that will dumbfound you!
Q. About 2 years ago I met a woman on an online dating site. She had just finished a 3 year relationship. This guy was verbally abusive and always wanted a 3some. She was very much against that. They subsequently got engaged and then he left her out of ...
A. 19 September 2008: Could be something as simple as she used pictures that weren't her. Did you see her on web cam atleast?
Something is stopping her meeting you, and whatever it is, it sounds a messy start.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever had a serious relationship develop from a one-night stand?
Q. I am just curious, has anyone ever had a serious relationship leading to love after a one night stand or sex the first night you've met them? Is it possible for him to respect you after you did the deed?...
A. 19 September 2008: I dont know if respect comes into it, but ive personally not had a long term relationship with someone i slept with on the first night. But i havent over analysed why that is. And these days i dont do 1 nighters. I personally think you cant go wrong ... (read in full...)
Would it be right to leave my current gf for my ex??
Q. Hello, A few days ago, my "ex-girlfriend" recently got back in touch after 2 month without so much as a hello or goodbye. My ex and I had alot in common and i really start to care for her. But we never really had a relationship. we just use to s...
A. 18 September 2008: I think it would be very right to leave the current girl for the ex. Because there is only 1 thing more annoying in this world than people not being able to cope being single, and thats people that use anyone just to not be on their own.
The ex soun... (read in full...)
Can I fix this relationship? I don't want to walk out on my family.
Q. I'm not sure what to do with my situation anymore, i am in a relationship with a 19 year old girl and i am 30, we have a 9 month old daughter, and a baby boy on the way, she also has a 2 year old son from a previous relationship. We lived together...
A. 18 September 2008: She sounds a bit too spontanious to me. 3 kids by the age of 20? I always wonder why guys think they are going to make it last long term with a girl 10 yrs younger than them. Especially when she's still a teen. Maybe you like a challenge? Of course ... (read in full...)
My ex rings me out of the blue...to tell me his g/fs brother died. Why?
Q. I guess i'm just a little confused as to why my ex (broke up 9 months ago) rang me after not holding a conversation with me for months. He owed me money and after he paid me all of it, (which i may add was like drawing blood from a stone) i tried to ...
A. 18 September 2008: 1am??? He was drunk. End of really.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I have two men I don't want to lose, P is now amazing with the children and F also digs my children
Q. Ok ... so I have been with P for 7 years on and off, lived together again... on and off .... this year I told him to move out on his own and he did ! Long story .. but bottom line ... really mean to my kids ! Since he moved out ... huge turn ...
A. 18 September 2008: I expect your children are confused too! I dont agree with children meeting loads of different 'uncles' its not teaching them anything for the future. And its not fair on them when you decide one of the guys is a gonna.
As to who you choose, only... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for being jealous of my boyfriend looking at younger women?
Q. Am I crazy for being jealous of my boyfriend looking at younger women?...
A. 18 September 2008: If they are legal age then theres nothing wrong with it in my opinion. Blokes like looking at women, its hardly a new craze. If he literally leers in front of you, then thats rude. But expecting him not to notice other women is asking a bit much. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend about my debts? I would rather do some clean up before letting him know...
Q. I have really bad credit that I am working on. I don't want to tell my boyfriend but I think this is the one I will marry. I am sure we won't get married for well over a year, is it bad that I am keeping this information from him? I would rather ...
A. 17 September 2008: As long as you're not planning on living together, its up to you. But if he is living with you and you have a bad credit score, he will end up with a bad credit score too. Does he have a right to know that?
I dont think its right to keep things like... (read in full...)
I made him move out and her's was the only place he could go, we're back together now but she's pregnant, how do I accept this?
Q. Me and my partner have been together eleven years. he recently had his head turned by someone at work. I made him move out and she was the only place he could go. After a few weeks he knew he had made a mistake and i accepted him back but now she ...
A. 17 September 2008: Babyduck is right on the button. Cant add anymore than that really. But i feel for you. Both of you, meaning this other woman.
Hope you get it sorted soon.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
I want to focus on my marriage but how can I carry on with my life without feeling resentful towards the man I had an affair with?
Q. I am married and very stupidly had a brief relationship with another man a couple of months ago. We were going through a very rocky patch in our marriage and although that isn't an excuse, I feel it was a way of escaping it. The other man is now ...
A. 17 September 2008: The grass is seldom greener on the other side, and if it is, people are better off getting out of what they're in before embarking on something else. I dont know where anyone gets their energy from these days. I cant be bothered getting into a ... (read in full...)
I want to focus on my marriage but how can I carry on with my life without feeling resentful towards the man I had an affair with?
Q. I am married and very stupidly had a brief relationship with another man a couple of months ago. We were going through a very rocky patch in our marriage and although that isn't an excuse, I feel it was a way of escaping it. The other man is now ...
A. 17 September 2008: You're angry with yourself more than him, for letting yourself be used as a fling. He is making a proper go of his relationship now though. Hense the reason he is spending more time with her. And he's possibly scared you will tell her, hense the ... (read in full...)
I keep thinking that I'm missing something in my current relationship.
Q. I was wondering if someone can help me. I cannot seem to keep thinking about my ex girlfriend. I have been dating another girl, and though I do not believe in cheating - I feel like I am, because I keep thinking about my ex girlfriend? I keep thi...
A. 16 September 2008: Nope, you're just not ready to start dating yet. But you're ex is more than likely not interested in you anymore and has moved on. Sorry to be blunt. But you probably just need some you time on your own to get over it, before you try getting with ... (read in full...)
How do you find a decent man? One who doesn't just want you for sex?
Q. How do you find a decent man? who doesnt just want you for sex? How do you know when they are telling the truth and not just trying to get into your knickers? coz I dont have a clue, and neither does anyone else I know. Please help, Im starting to f...
A. 16 September 2008: Good instincts, good luck, not handing your body to them on a whim, and hanging out and getting to know them.
If you get caught out after that, then you're either an extremely bad judge of character or extremely unlucky!
C xxxxx
... (read in full...)
Are all 21 year old guys this careless about there finances?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years is very and I mean very bad at keeping his finances in order. He's 21 years old and he has collection agencys calling him every day. he gets numerous letters in an atemt to collect debt, and his checking account is like ...
A. 16 September 2008: Be VERY careful! There is a saying thats very true...'its not what you got, its what you do with it'
I am as poor as a church mouse hun, BUT, i dont have credit cards, i dont have loans, and i dont buy anything unless i have the money for it. I use ... (read in full...)
How should I break the news to my gf about her increased financial commitment without upsetting her?...
Q. I'm in a bit of a pickle. I have been dating my gf for over five years and we have 2 kids together. I also have a child from a previous relationship and still occassionally have sex with the ex. Last month, I had a one-night-stand with a 23 yr old I ...
A. 16 September 2008: Stop being a ponce and stand on your own 2 feet.
Real women like men, not little boys.
She wont support you or your offspring anymore once she finds out about this, unless she is a complete dinlow, in which case she deserves all she gets. Win win ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when you are dating but you are not boyfriend and girlfriend?
Q. I have been dating this guy for four months and we arent seeing anyone else but he doesnt want the title boyfriend. What does that mean. I dont undererstand the difference. Does "boyfriend" change things?...
A. 15 September 2008: He's 'seeing' you then. Basically not putting all is eggs in one basket. Dont get too attached to him, and date other people. He is admitting he isn't up for anything exclusive. Good on him for being up front. The rest is up to you.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
I refused to continue my affair with a married man, as I don't want to be hoodwinked again (I am also married) - did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi, Please tell me I have done the right thing? Some years ago I had an affair with a married man. We were both married at the time. After a few months it ended and it took me time to get over it. Recently after 6 years he contacted me and ...
A. 15 September 2008: The best thing about affairs is the way they make you feel so special. But this guy doesn't sound like he had the affair for that reason, he is doing the exact opposite, because you know he's just proving to himself that he can still pull the ... (read in full...)
I dislike anal sex, I think it's strange and I'm scared of it, but I do it for my husband's sake; our sex life has deteriorated.
Q. i have been with my husband for over 10 years and married for 5, our sex life was fine up in till a couple of years ago we got a strap on dildo he wanted anal sex. lets put it this way i have never seen him like that before, he really enjoyed it. t...
A. 15 September 2008: Just because he likes anal sex with a strap on doesn't mean he's gay! I know shed loads of loads of guys that like the feeling, but they wouldn't get with a guy. Thats like saying a woman that likes oral done on her is a lesbian. Thats complete... (read in full...)
How do I make my boyfriend realise that I'm more important than anything else and to quit smoking?
Q. my boyfriend likes to smoke but i dont want him to smoke.every now and then so i permitted him to smoke once in 2 months..but he cant wait...for him smoke is more important than me..i said him that i dont need him if he cant live without ...
A. 15 September 2008: Hang on a mo, you dated a guy that smokes even though you dont like it? This is a no brainer really, if you dont like him smoking and HE wants to smoke, then its not going to work is it. Its not as black n white as smoking being more important than ... (read in full...)
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