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*elples agony aunt

*elples

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How do I get my boyfriend to change his thought that I'm controlling him?

Q.   I found out from a friend my boyfriend created a facebook today. I dislike social networkings like that because myspace caused so many problems between us before. I stopped going on it but I let him continue to go on it. One day, during summer, we ...

A.   15 October 2009: I wasn't trying to control anyone on this website. I read many of the posts posted on this website and most of the answers I see automatically is "break up." I simply don't think that with every little problem someone has, it should lead to a break ... (read in full...)

How do I get my boyfriend to change his thought that I'm controlling him?

Q.   I found out from a friend my boyfriend created a facebook today. I dislike social networkings like that because myspace caused so many problems between us before. I stopped going on it but I let him continue to go on it. One day, during summer, we ...

A.   15 October 2009: Its just.. I don't want to break up with him. He's my first love. We did have trust issues before, which lead to a break up. After months, he pleaded in being my boyfriend. He was so different from before. Honestly, this is the only thing I can't ... (read in full...)

I'm drowning at university, and feel like I don't have the strength to paddle

Q.   I am a senior in college and I just transferred to a new university. The semester started at the end of August so I am about 2 months into the term and it is not going well at all. Midterms have just ended and I have received most of my exam/essay ...

A.   14 October 2009: You're not a failure. You said it yourself, you use to be a straight A student. You still are, just at the moment, you're sad. Do you not like the new school you're in? Why'd you transfer? If possible, can't you transfer back..?... (read in full...)

Do I have the right to tell him off?

Q.   im in a ldr. i came down to see him this weekend. on my way here, driving, he asked if i was going to come see him. his mother said no because itll be 11 pm by the time i got to miami. however, he and his brother are allowed to go to their friends ...

A.   10 October 2009: he knew i was coming down this weekend and his mom allowed him and his brother to go out, after she told him no to me, to see their friend that they havent seen in three weeks. we havent seen each other in a month. his friend lives a few blocks from ... (read in full...)

14 years down the drain because she's confused?

Q.   Hello. I've been with my partner for 14 years and it has been fantastic. We both met after having broken hearts and have become each others soul mate, best friend, etc. We always say that we were brought together by fate. We have rarely argued an...

A.   28 September 2009: I honestly think you two should talk more about this before calling it off. She's your world, clearly. And she still cares for you very much since she had the decency in telling you instead of cheating on you. Find out if this is just a temporary ... (read in full...)

Can't stop thinking of girl from boyfriend's past!

Q.   I can't stop thinking about this girl that has caused so many problems between my boyfriend and me. He said he doesn't talk to her anymore (he chose this) when I asked him one day out of curiousity. But that was during mid-summer. Lately, I've had ...

A.   27 September 2009: Thanks... (read in full...)

Ladies: How long do you wait to have sex?

Q.   ladies,how long do you wait before you have sex with a guy-I'm confused because if you make them wait a long time,they may cheat and if you don't they may use you-what to do ?!...

A.   27 September 2009: It doesn't really matter what other girls do since everyone is different... If you feel you want to have sex with him and you have a hunch he'll cheat on you, best not to do it and listen to your conscious. Your heart is the best advice anyone can ... (read in full...)

She's pregnant by another guy and broke up with me, I'm heartbroken

Q.   she is the same age as me and in truth weve known each other for about 4 1/2 weeks and we've "liked" each other for just as long. well about a week ago she broke up with her boyfiend so i asked if she'd go out with me and she said yes. well ever ...

A.   27 September 2009: If the fact of her having a baby from someone else doesn't bother you, and you're willing to be with her, why does she have to break up with you? If she loves you and you love her as much as to not even leave, which is great of you especially at a ... (read in full...)

I feel my girlfriend treats me like shit!

Q.   hey whats up guys and girls i need help i dont know what to do. my girlfriend always dresses nice when im not going to be around and she never wears nice things when i am does she have something on the side, is she cheating on me is she going to ...

A.   27 September 2009: Yes, I definitely understand the reason for you to worry. Have you asked her directly about it?... (read in full...)

He's too immature and inconsiderate! Should I end it?

Q.   Hello, I have a problem. I have been going out with my boyfriend for just over 7 months. I never really thought I loved him. He never seemed too bothered with spending time together on our own. 4 months ago I cheated on him. We only kissed but I fe...

A.   21 September 2009: No, I don't think you overreacted. He really should have waited for you. Or gone to get you if he knew your car broke down. If you don't want that type of relationship anymore, simply leave it. I don't think you should suffer anymore. If you do ... (read in full...)

My LDR seems to be fading away

Q.   My boyfriend and I started college not too long ago. It's a long distance relationship. I had the upper hand since I started it during summer, and everytime class ended or between my classes, I'd call him and he would always pick up. The long ...

A.   20 September 2009: I didn't mean by I have the upperhand in the relationship, I meant I already knew how the college life would be before he did.... (read in full...)

If you're 16 do you have the right to get engaged?

Q.   Im 16, my boyfriend and i have been together for year+ , he is amazing and ive never felt in away towards anyone as i do for him, hes helped me through so much, we've talked about engagement but we just dont want to cause the drama with our parents, ...

A.   19 September 2009: I like to think once you're engaged with someone, you can start living with that person immediately after you two get married. But that'll be pretty tough to do at the age of 16/17 considering the bills of living in a house, balancing school and a ... (read in full...)

I feel my girlfriend treats me like shit!

Q.   hey whats up guys and girls i need help i dont know what to do. my girlfriend always dresses nice when im not going to be around and she never wears nice things when i am does she have something on the side, is she cheating on me is she going to ...

A.   19 September 2009: I think communication is the key. Have you asked her why does she dress more stylish when you're not around? It also could be that she feels very comfortable with you and knows she doesn't have to dress to impress you. =] But don't assume the worst, ... (read in full...)

He kept me waiting but didn't call me back, should I be upset?

Q.   my boyfriend and i are in what i think a good relationship... i also like to think we express our loves differently. for example i call him a lot more than he does and he says i love you more. but last night we had an argument that lead up to me not ...

A.   8 August 2009: Thank you.... (read in full...)

Is there some kind of insecurity on his part, that makes him tell me these things?

Q.   Recently I broke up w/ my ex. we've talked alot since then and slept together.Last time we talked it was kinda iffy cos I asked if he was goin on a date/who he was hanging w/ and he felt I was pryin *he also said its not his friends/my biz who ...

A.   6 August 2009: Did he talk to her the time you two were dating? That could be why he didn't brag about you to her. Maybe he is trying to get you jealous, but if you're not, simply say "Congratulations," and hopefully he'll stop talking about her if you haven't ... (read in full...)

Jealous over walpaper?

Q.   i came home from college today. i asked my mom to drop me off mu boyfriends house. he was excited to see me as i was to sew him. when we did see each other, we hugged and what not. not soon after, he found my cellphone wallpaper was of zac efron. i ...

A.   1 August 2009: I know, I never said I wouldn't get mad if I found out he had a picture of some other girl. I just didn't know what to do to resolve the issue. ... (read in full...)

I am pondering an affair because my husband won't initiate intercourse!

Q.   Thanks for reading my question... My husband has over the last few months lost interest in me sexually. At first i didnt notice, we are busy and all. But suddenly realised that it had been 4 months... I spoke to him and said hon, whats happenin...

A.   31 July 2009: I don't suggest an affair. It isn't the road to go. Think about being in his shoes, would you like it if your partner had an affair with someone else? Try going to sex counseling, if they have the sort of thing.... (read in full...)

Would you let go?

Q.   Hi, i have been in a relationship for 5 years, he was my first everything and now i just dont know what to do, he doesnt seem to care anymore, this past week when i didnt call him it was 4 days till we talked, apparently according to him thats ...

A.   31 July 2009: Wow, I can say I have been in the same situation as you. The only difference is I was into my one year with him. He was exactly like yours. He seemed bored of me, he didn't show much affection especially not the way I did. He had a horrible ... (read in full...)

I think he's still logging into his online dating profile! Help!

Q.   Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend (6 months). Things are going good!! Anyways, we met online and still have our profiles up. In the beginning he had mentioned..'yeah, I should delete this profile that I hardly log into.' And as time went by I n...

A.   28 July 2009: Honesty is the best way. I think I would go about it by being the first to bring it up, to see if he lies to you. Ask him, "Out of curiosity... Have you checked out the so and so website these passed few weeks? I wonder if it has changed." If he ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I lost the necklace and earrings he gave me?

Q.   okay so me and this guy dated like 4 years ago. we dated 8xs.[we were young and dumb] the last time we broke up it was for good. i didnt get jealous when he had his first serious girlfriend, that didnt bother me at all.[i took his virginty]. and the ...

A.   28 July 2009: Before you think about telling him, make sure you have checked everywhere. Check the little spots you think it cannot possibly be, because to your surprise, it may just be there. If worst comes to worst, tell him that you misplaced the jewelry ... (read in full...)

He's talking to a girl I'm uncomfortable with

Q.   My boyfriend is talking to a girl through text I'm uncomfortable with. I can not force him to stop talking to her. So I simply have to deal with it. The thing is, I think I can deal with it by knowing if they are talking every day or not. I plan on ...

A.   15 July 2009: She is two years younger than him and she's always chasing after him. Even though we graduated from high school this year, it's like she's not letting go. I have this hunch she may be attracted to him.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants to break up to ease off any difficulty in the future

Q.   well i have been in a relationship for 2 years now and i love my girl friend alot!!and she loves me alot too.But our high school is about to get over and its time for college..:( We both might seperate in the coming future. she says we should b...

A.   14 July 2009: Convince her you guys can make it work. =] Do webcam chats. Call each other every time you can! ... (read in full...)

There is no proof he is attracted to her, but I don't like her being in his life!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been broke up but went back out. The first time we broke up, one of the reasons was another girl in the picture. He didn't cheat. They were becoming good friends as were getting worse. It annoyed me to the point I couldn't ...

A.   14 July 2009: Maybe I explained it sort of wrong- I wrote it upset.. It hurts to know at any time of the day, he could be talking to her. It leaves me extremely uncomfortable, a feeling I know quite well that I’ve experienced before. That feeling is one o... (read in full...)

How does anybody forgive someone that has cheated on them?

Q.   I found out that my boyfriend of 8 months cheated on me. The girl he cheated on me with is suppose to be one of my good friends, and her boyfriend told me. I didn't talk for like twenty minutes, because I just sat there in shock. Apparently thus ...

A.   13 July 2009: This is my belief: Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you forgive him now, he'll think it's okay to cheat since nothing happened between you two. I don't think anybody wants a boyfriend who cheats on them. Nobody should have that kind of ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if I like this guy in my class?

Q.   There's this guy is my class. Everyone says he likes me, but i don't know if it's true. Everytime he sticks his tounge at me, I kinda smile. I don't know if I really like him. I'm not sure. How can I tell if I like him? If I do have a crush on him, ...

A.   13 July 2009: Ask yourself these questions: Do you look forward to seeing him? Do you sometimes find yourself thinking about him when you're having a "boring" moment or perhaps doing something? Do you have butterflies in your stomach when you see him or you ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to put space between us to stop any feelings developing?

Q.   Very confused. In a very close friendship with a married man whose marriage has collapsed, or so he tells me. About two weeks ago we met up and discussed feelings for one another. however we decided (mainly his decision) to just try and remain...

A.   13 July 2009: Agreed with Samii. After all, you wouldn't want a guy whose cheated on his wife/girl friend. The chances are, he'll probably cheat on you too. ... (read in full...)

Thinking about having sex for the first time and need advice!

Q.   ok will im 15 and im thinking really hard about havin sex for the first time but im really scarred that its ganna hurt and im not ganna know what to do please help me...

A.   13 July 2009: Think about this carefully. It will mean a lot more to do it with a guy you truly love. My friend had sex just to lose his virginity to a girl whose really loose around the school. He didn't like it much. It would have meant more to do it with ... (read in full...)

Can I make my period come sooner or later?

Q.   I'm going on vacation with my best friend on the 24th and I'm susposed to get my period then which will be horrible ... so is there anyway I can make it come sooner or later ?...

A.   13 July 2009: I honestly do not think so. Your body works the way it should. Unless your period is irregular, coming in different times but usually it bounces near the "normal" time. If it helps, this is gross, you are still allowed to go in the water. M... (read in full...)

Break up? Don't want to hurt him!

Q.   Ok well... There's this guy in the year above who really likes me but I keep turning him down coz I like this other boy in my year I've liked since I was 10... well I really really love him... So I eventually said yes to the boy who asked me out...

A.   12 July 2009: I honestly believe telling the truth is the only thing you can do. Tell him, you are unsure of your feelings. This is true, you are confused about two boys. You need time to clear things up, to see how you truly feel about this guy. I don't think ... (read in full...)

Break up? Don't want to hurt him!

Q.   Ok well... There's this guy in the year above who really likes me but I keep turning him down coz I like this other boy in my year I've liked since I was 10... well I really really love him... So I eventually said yes to the boy who asked me out...

A.   12 July 2009: I honestly believe telling the truth is the only thing you can do. Tell him, you are unsure of your feelings. This is true, you are confused about two boys. You need time to clear things up, to see how you truly feel about this guy. I don't think ... (read in full...)

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