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... Send *arshbutfair a private message | | | *arshbutfair's profile:Some people are going to hate what I say. But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
"Most people live lives of quiet desperation"
My advice is always intended to be harsh, but fair and helpful. I hope you enjoy and that it raises the occasional smile. Now get the hell out of my face. Choose life. |
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Could I bring back a lost love with a love spell... or is that just a scam?
Q. I have a question about somehting a Lil bit different. I was doing a search for love advice and came across this one and another one that I have a question about. It was bring back a lost love by ordering a spell .Do you think these really work or ...
A. 6 January 2006: Bev - take that back about santa this minute!... (read in full...)
Why am I so spotty? I'm really clean...
Q. Please help me. I am 15 years old, and have so many spots. I am quite pretty (I don't want to boast) and when I get spots I feel that people stare at me, some even say "Urgh, you're dead spotty!" and it's really making me depressed. I have tried e...
A. 6 January 2006: Bev says one thing that is SO IMPORTANT. Be gentle when you are washing your face. Be gentle with the products you use. If anything is making your face hurt or red or sting, stop using it.. You will make your skin and your acne much worse and ... (read in full...)
At it like rabbits?
Q. What is the reason behind increased sexual promiscuity in recent time?...
A. 6 January 2006: Great response by "purr" below. The stigma as sex as something dirty, 'orrible and never to be discussed never mind "done" has drifted... Except in certain right-wing-christian parts of the USA.... (read in full...)
I think my 12 year old was masturbating. I feel I should be aware of this..so how do I ask her?
Q. I have a daughter who is over 12 yrs now and knows most everything about the human body, its functions, about sexual intercourse and has also started her periods. A few times, on my way to bed, when I go in to straighten her blanket (she rolls ...
A. 5 January 2006: You have no right whatsoever to know whether your daughter is masturbating. If you ask her you will start to sew seeds of sexual self-doubt in her which could fester and cause problems later in her life. It's her private space, allow her that ... (read in full...)
How can we help each other with our New Year Resolution?
Q. I gave up smoking yesterday and Im struggling so much! New Year Resolution. My boyfriend has given up too. We live together. The thing is, he said he never liked smoking anyway so it isn't too hard for him. He slipped more into a habit. But me...its ...
A. 4 January 2006: Get some celery and carrots, cut them into sticks, put them in the fridge and when you have the urge to smoke, chew on a veg-stick instead.... (read in full...)
I'm so terrified about sex I can't even use a tampon. How could I ever have a baby?
Q. I have a huuge problem that I'm not exactly ready to face. I have a problem with sex. Im 19 and my boyfriend and I have decided to wait till marriage to have sex. I'm fine with that, but I'm dreading the day we do get married and I'll be ob...
A. 4 January 2006: I can't understand this no-sex-before-marriage mentality. Have you considered that you may not be sexually compatible with your husband-to-be?... (read in full...)
I want to register with an adult dating site. Are they a rip off?
Q. Am i asking for trouble if i register with a an 'adult' dating site? Are they a rip-off?...
A. 4 January 2006: Some are, some aren't. Try adultfriendfinder, which is the biggest on the web. Don't forget that many will charge you monthly so you will need to cancel your billings if you don't want to use it anymore!... (read in full...)
Dating someone older???
Q. hi i was wonderin what everyone thought about datin older ppl??? im 14 and datin a 28 year old man. what u fink??...
A. 2 January 2006: I think that no matter what GL may say, this is wrong. He may not be a paedophile but there is something disturbing about a grown adult wanting to date a minor. If I found that an adult was showing interest in a daughter of mine your age I would ... (read in full...)
When my in-laws come and stay they practically take over the place!
Q. I am really struggling for some answers on how to deal with my situation. My wife and I are struggling with a certain issue which on this subject has really driven a spike between us. My wife's parents regularly come to visit at least twice a...
A. 2 January 2006: At some point in your life you need to make a choice. You can have people trample all over you and get sad and frustrated about it. Or you can be a man, and take control of the situation, and put your foot down. Sure there are risks, and dangers, ... (read in full...)
Girls my age think I look too young, but will I be asking for trouble to go out with a 15-year-old?
Q. I'm 19 and I've became good friends with a girl who is 15. I know she fancies me. I really like her back and we have so much in common. We are perfect for each other. The only thing is the age difference is holding me back from asking her out. I'm ...
A. 31 December 2005: Unless you are a chav, dating underage girls when you're over 18 is seriously not cool. Far more uncool than being a virgin.... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 31 December 2005: I agree with anon. Why is this such a huge issue?... (read in full...)
I despair... My Xmas present from my younger boyfriend was a 2nd hand book about rabbits!
Q. Iv'e been having a relationship on and off for more than 3 years now with a man who is 9 years younger. I am 42 and have 2 grown up children, I'm educated and have just become a grandmother on xmas day,(which he made a sarcastic remark about me...
A. 29 December 2005: Great question. I would ask you to re-read it. Apart from the fact that you are somehow "with" this guy - and you don't say how you originally hooked up, there is not even the slightest hint in your question as to WHY you are together. You have ... (read in full...)
Gay porn for straight guys?
Q. Do any men who consider thmselves 100% hetro ever enjoy looking at gay porn??? It would be great to get some honest feedback to help settle a little debate going on here. ...
A. 23 December 2005: Lorel - great comeback but if that comment was aimed at me - hope you ain't assuming I'm a man.
I may be a fully fledged, card-carrying, lesbian, greenpeace-supporting, working single mother (with aids). For all you know. So please don't ju... (read in full...)
Gay porn for straight guys?
Q. Do any men who consider thmselves 100% hetro ever enjoy looking at gay porn??? It would be great to get some honest feedback to help settle a little debate going on here. ...
A. 22 December 2005: Sounds like the clue is in the question: Your boyfriend likes gay porn and you want affirmation you're not some dating some repressed, closet-hiding, shirt-lifting sausage jockey. Well let me tell you, you ain't gonna get that sort of affirmation ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend, who prefers to masturbate rather than have sex, going to marry me or is he waiting for a "better deal"?
Q. My bf of 4 years prefers masturbation than sex and is not committing in our relationship. He tells me that masturbation is easier, and that we don't have to have sex everytime we see each other, and that he gets tired when having sex. We only have ...
A. 22 December 2005: Sometimes my mind boggles and my eyes pop out when I read these questions. WHY would you want to date this guy, who prefers the love of his own right hand, to the love and touch of his sweet, sexy, smiley, shiny-haired girlfriend? And WHY would you ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about him being irresponsible?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He says he does love me and can be gentle and thoughtful. There is another side to him. He is in his thirties but can be 'one of the boys' when he is out, looking at other women, making comments and ...
A. 22 December 2005: I think some of the answers here are unfair. Sounds to me there is a crucial thing that most people aren't picking up on. Your bf likes to have FUN. Is there anything wrong with that? Personally I don't think so. I'm not saying this guy is ideal ... (read in full...)
I still can't stop the internet gay porn thing...why am i so weird and what should i do?
Q. Alright I am fucked up, From what I can remember I always seemed to be attracted to girls, but I never had much luck with them growing up. I seemed to always end up in the friend zone or for being to nice in jr high and high school, i figured it ...
A. 20 December 2005: Wow what a great question, I commend you for having the courage to come here and open your heart to the world.
This is a tough one. The mind is such a delicate thing; I have heard it said that "pornography poisons the mind" and maybe it is true.... (read in full...)
How can I forget about my wife's past?
Q. My wife has had vaginal intercourse (about 48 times with three guys, 6+12+30), anal intercourse (one time each with two guys), and/or oral sex (about twenty five times from four guys) with six men other than me. She has given manual and/or oral sex ...
A. 20 December 2005: Make a decision either to leave or stay and never think about these things again. Then never go back on that decision.
Quite seriously, you may find this is the kind of problem that responds well to hypnosis or techniques you can learn yourself... (read in full...)
Are there any differences that come along with dating a black guy?
Q. Are there any major differences between a spanish female and a black male who date? I'm dating a black guy right now and he is very sweet, but are there any differences that come along with dating a black guy? I've only dated an egyptian guy and ...
A. 20 December 2005: As long as he doesn't try to put you on the game you'll probably do great.... (read in full...)
Guys: is it better for a woman to look like a porn star?
Q. Question for guys Do men find the bodies of women in porn superior to those of their girlfriend/wife? I'm not talking about the feelings or warmth etc, just the way we look. Honest answers please...
A. 20 December 2005: Lorel
I understand where you're coming from but I think this is more animal (yes, animal) and genetic than you think so I would say to that extent YES men are born with these desires. It is the result of millions of years of evolution (or a fe... (read in full...)
Guys: is it better for a woman to look like a porn star?
Q. Question for guys Do men find the bodies of women in porn superior to those of their girlfriend/wife? I'm not talking about the feelings or warmth etc, just the way we look. Honest answers please...
A. 19 December 2005: Lorel, the media is simply REFLECTING rather than CREATING public opinion. Whether or not you like it and wish it weren't so, MEN AND WOMEN are naturally attracted to fit, healthy members of the opposite sex. We're talking about physical ... (read in full...)
Guys: is it better for a woman to look like a porn star?
Q. Question for guys Do men find the bodies of women in porn superior to those of their girlfriend/wife? I'm not talking about the feelings or warmth etc, just the way we look. Honest answers please...
A. 19 December 2005: Lorel get that chip off your shoulder right now.
A fit bod is a fit bod is a fit bod. Perky tits and a tight butt are just that. Doesn't mean I'd want to spend my life with that person but is it attractive... Hell yeah. Over cellulit... (read in full...)
Guys: is it better for a woman to look like a porn star?
Q. Question for guys Do men find the bodies of women in porn superior to those of their girlfriend/wife? I'm not talking about the feelings or warmth etc, just the way we look. Honest answers please...
A. 19 December 2005: This is the dumbest question I have ever read. Ok, that was harsh, but top-10. You get porn stars in all shapes and sizes and pretty much by the nature of the job-description they are in reasonable shape (at least when they begin). So yes a lot ... (read in full...)
I don't see my girlfriend apart from at work!
Q. Ok, here goes... my girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months. I hardly see her out side work because she has fibromyagia and this time of year isn't nice to her. Still she doesn't call, visit or write. The only time I see or here from ...
A. 19 December 2005: Eyeswideopen is right here kidda, you're dealing with "platonic pussy".... (read in full...)
Can't form relationships with guys because of my Dad... e.g. we didn't talk for two whole years despite living under the same roof!
Q. Can someone tell me what is wrong with my Dad and how I can get around this problem we’re having because it is seriously affecting me in that I can’t form relationships with men (by that I mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships)? From my teenag...
A. 18 December 2005: This is very sad.
There is an insidious disease that some people suffer from.
I see and hear these people on a daily basis. They are the people who are complaining about their boss and how everyone else got promoted but them. They are complai... (read in full...)
Paranoid that my Internet lover will turn up and reveal all to my husband
Q. this is a really odd question but its really starting to worry me. i have been married for 4 years now and its been up and down most of the time. during one of these down times i met somebody over the internet. we have only ever met twice and chat ...
A. 17 December 2005: That fear and paranoia you feel is caused by your conscience gnawing away at your soul. If you don't want to be with your husband you should think long and hard and leave him. Cheating is no way to carry on. And yes, if he wanted to, this Internet ... (read in full...)
I've suckled on a nipple but never had sex. People say I send out a "non-sexual vibe"... What can I do?
Q. I'm an incredibly frustrated 24-year-old virgin who's never even had a girlfriend (the farthest I've gotten dating wise was going out with this one girl for a couple of weeks at the start of this year ... I've made out with a lot of girls, and got ...
A. 16 December 2005: You need to screw a whore and get this whole "virgin" chip off your shoulders. Seriously. Quick in-and-out, no-one gets hurt, and you'll wonder what you've been beating yourself up about. Then you can go about getting a proper bird.
HBF... (read in full...)
I am reserved but the gentleman I like has this certain "something"... help me understand it!
Q. There is this guy I like but he is extremely outgoing and I am reserved. He is very sweet and a gentleman. I am told that he likes me too, but I’m feeling confused about his feelings for me and about an aspect of his character. I have never met ...
A. 15 December 2005: Call it what you like: Character, charmisma, charm, allure, appeal, magnetism. Personally I like to call it "mojo"... Sounds like this gentleman has it in SPADES. If you're lucky you are born with it, if you're not you can learn it to a degree - ... (read in full...)
My old boyfriend is making life a complicated nightmare!
Q. I am frightened and in a spider's web! 6 weeks ago I got involved with a friend who is having an affair with someone else who is still living with her man (they are not married). I split with my man 6 months ago and my new man split with his g...
A. 14 December 2005: Yes you should phone the police. Certainly in the UK it is an offence to send threatening communications via whatever means. Go to the police station, present the text and at least make them aware of this. They should be able to log it and give ... (read in full...)
We've had some problems and now he wants to have a serious talk. Does he still like me?
Q. me and my boyfriend been going out for 2 months now. but for the past week it has been different he hasn't call me no more and i don't call him cause he don't call me. when i ask him why he don't call me when he don't hear from me he said that" ...
A. 14 December 2005: Serious talk sounds like dumping talk. Sorry sweetie.... (read in full...)
What do I do about this flirtatious female who flirts constantly with my husband?
Q. i have been with my husband for about 18 years and i have a problem with some mutual friends , we have been friends with these people for about 5 years from the beginning i could sense a attraction between my husband and the my husbands friends ...
A. 14 December 2005: Sounds like these are those "sex people" you hear about on the radio, and the next thing you know you'll be walking in on the 3 of them (him, her and your husband) in bed together, arms and legs akimbo, trying to get you to join in. Keep your ... (read in full...)
I need some costume ideas...for my boudoir photo shoot! Help.
Q. For a change, this is a fun question. Not sure if I'll get any responses but I thought "what the heck..I'll give it a try"! lol I'm hoping for some great ideas. I'm getting some 'Boudoir' pics done as a surprize gift for my partner this christmas. ...
A. 13 December 2005: Nurse.
Strict young teacher.
Naughty schoolgirl.
Policewoman.
That's it.... (read in full...)
Are there any ways to make your vagina smaller, without surgery?
Q. Is there any way to make a vagina smaller? My friend is asking and she doesn't have an account, so I figured what the hell, cuz if it was me, I would have asked for myself, hell, i think I will actually, Is there any way to make your vagina smaller? ...
A. 13 December 2005: Search google for "kegel exercises" they are designed to tone up vaginal muscle.... (read in full...)
He's so friendly that he's hard to read..is he interested in me as girlfriend material?
Q. I need some advice. I met this really lovely guy just over a year ago. He gets on really well with almost everyone he meets, but I am unsure whether he is interested in me as girlfriend material or whether he is just being his usual friendly self. ...
A. 12 December 2005: He's interested in you.... (read in full...)
During sex, if a guy doesn't pull out fast enough when he's hard, what will happen?
Q. This may sound dumb, but I have litte sexual experience and then I thought about something. If a guy doesn't pull out fast enough when he's hard, what will happen? ...
A. 10 December 2005: Two scenarios:
1) Condom-wearer. Guy shoots his load into the plastic. While he still has some hardness he withdraws, throws the condom away, wipes himself clean, gets into bed. Falls instantly into blissful sleep.
2) Non-condom-weare... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't have sexual fantasies about my boyfriend. So how do I stop?
Q. Hi, hoping you guys can help: I notice I always have sexual fantasies about my bf. I know I shouldn't entertain the idea of sex with him because he is practicing celibacy, and I agree with it totally, but I can't help but think of how lovely it ...
A. 10 December 2005: This is where the whole "celibacy movement" is in trouble. Celibacy isn't normal. It's not biologically what you are programmed to do. It's not what millions of years of evolution have developed you to desire. Why is your b/f celibate? Why does ... (read in full...)
Ok so he IS a goth AND shorter than me BUT we both like each other. That IS all that counts... Right!?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are different in a lot of ways. For instance I'm a girle-girl while hes a goth, I'm a year older than him, I'm a little taller than him...... then again does it really matter? We both like each other thats all that ...
A. 10 December 2005: Goths and trendies will never get along. Period. You also need to ask what insecurities (and trust me there will be some; there are with all goths) caused him to "go goth". Harsh? Yes. Fair? Hope so sweetie.... (read in full...)
We met on a dating site-but his profile is still active and logging on to it, regularily!
Q. I have been dating a guy i met on a dating site for 8 months now, and i thought everything was going really well. He has got to know my kids and is buying them xmas presents, we have been on holiday etc... So, i was showing a friend how the dating ...
A. 9 December 2005: This is a CLASSIC internet dating problem I'm afraid. It seems that some people become addicted and even after hooking up with one person for a fully-fledged relationship can't help but keep their profile active and keep that stream of ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from a girl... Should I confront her?
Q. About six months ago I asked a female friend who I really like if she would like to go out for a drink with me sometime. She sent me a text message back saying she would thought she was busy the coming weekend she suggested the following weekend. ...
A. 9 December 2005: Hate to say this but for some reason she doesn't want to go out with you. Chicks send confused messages ALL THE TIME - if you confront her you'll just look like an uptight stalker. Take a break from her, forgot her and chill for a bit.... (read in full...)
I think I'll be famous, rich - and probably beatiful too. Big-headed... Or confident?
Q. Im nearly 16 soon, but all of a sudden, I have a feeling, and this might be big headed, that I will be famous, and rich. But where does this come from? And is it just a crazy fantasy or might it happen? Im confused, because when I have asked ...
A. 8 December 2005: I actually think this is pretty cool. By your age most people have had their confidence, dreams and ambitions crushed by a combination of parents, siblings, teachers and peers. Good on you for thinking big. I say, go for gold. Good luck!... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 7 December 2005: To the lady who thinks porn is sexual violence and hate towards women... Wrong! Most guys who watch porn love chicks.... (read in full...)
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