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... Send *arshbutfair a private message | | | *arshbutfair's profile:Some people are going to hate what I say. But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
"Most people live lives of quiet desperation"
My advice is always intended to be harsh, but fair and helpful. I hope you enjoy and that it raises the occasional smile. Now get the hell out of my face. Choose life. |
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Guys: is making noises during sex, especially when its our first time sleeping together, sexy?
Q. Stupid question really. Having sex with someone new is always abit weird when its your first time I think. I just wanted to know what people think. Do guys prefer it when we make sex noises or not? x...
A. 18 May 2007: It's bloody ruddy brilliant.
As long as your heart is in it and it's real, go for it. Whimper as he touches you, moan as he enters, scream (quietly, if need be) as you hit orgasm.
I love it when my girl makes noise.... (read in full...)
Save yourself the pain - don't text!
Q. In all communication there is translation. Even if the communication is in your mother tongue. We interpret our partners' sentences, trying to get to the emotional core of the message, under all the words. This is of course the source of the endl...
A. 10 May 2007: I love sending and receiving texts. They keep me up to date on what everyone in my life is doing. I want texts to be funny and contain at least one exclamation mark (but no more than 3).
Recently sent:
"Just spotted two lesbian student ... (read in full...)
Im 14 and I have a wierd smell down below.... what could this be ?
Q. Okay. I Will Try Not To Write An Essay. I’ve Been With This Guy For Like 7 Months He’s Really Nice And I Love Him. But He’s Way Older Than Me, I’m Not Going To Tell You How Old He Is But He’s Way Older Than Me. Im 13 But I Told Him I’m 14; I Am 14 ...
A. 19 April 2007: Ok I'm gonna cut to the chase because this is asked all the freakin time.
PUSSY SMELLS. Period.
Turned on (hot! wet!) PUSSY SMELLS EVEN MORE.
Pussy also varies in smell during the month, and it depends on how often you're fucking/bathing/swea... (read in full...)
Is it normal for breasts to get bigger before period?
Q. this is going to seem very vauge, but is it normal for breasts to get slightly bigger before your period? xxx...
A. 22 March 2007: "how possible is it that im pregnant"
Given that you've had a penis in you without wearing a condom, and you're not using any other forum of contraception, it's not exactly going to be a virgin birth, hon.... (read in full...)
Do men like the larger ladies? Sensible answers, please!
Q. Hi there, this is a really boring question but I have to ask it as when I have asked male friends in the past they have literally made me feel worse. Right do men like larger ladies? I myself am a larger lady im a size 18-20 and fairly attractive. ...
A. 22 March 2007: I don't find fat chicks attractive.
Yes, they can have pretty faces and flawless complexions (they usually don't) or nice, shiny hair and beautiful "blow me eyes". But for me anyway, the whole package is simply not sexy. Just my opinion.... (read in full...)
Im due to meet my fiance's family, Im American breed, they are British, I want to make a good impression, whats the expected etiquette?
Q. I'm meeting my fiance's family for the first time. They're British and live in London and we'll staying at their house for a week. I know this could sound silly, but I was born and raised in America in a family where "proper" etiquette wasn't ...
A. 22 March 2007: You are a very wise young lady for asking this question. In England, and in London in particular, things are done rather differently. I'll try to summarise:
It is considered extremely rude not to drink tea. If you've never tasted tea before, ... (read in full...)
How can I stop looking at porn?
Q. I have a big problem at looking at porn....I usally look it up once every day......I need some help or advice to stop this bad habbit i would be verry gratefull for some feedback. thanks....
A. 11 February 2007: First, I think it's good that you're mature and self-aware enough to realise that looking at porn can be harmful and that there are better ways to waste your time. So, well done.
Porn addiction is often borne out of boredom. Try to avoid situatio... (read in full...)
My wife has never been interested in sex, even on our wedding night she said she was tired!!!
Q. We've have been married five years and it's all going the opposite way for me. The thing is I can - literally- count the number of times we've made love. according to her the very first night we did she was tired and would rather not have- and that ...
A. 10 February 2007: This will never get resolved if you stay with your wife. If life there are basically two sexualities: sex people and NOT sex people. Sex people think about sex, have sex and love sex. If they don't get sex they get cranky.
NOT sex people c... (read in full...)
Are many women into abstaining from sex till they are married?
Q. Abstaining from sex till marriage advice. I’m a guy, who’s still a virgin at 24 years old. I have always had this idea in my head, that I would like to wait till marriage to have sex. The thing that worries me is, do you think that many women ...
A. 10 February 2007: You might want to read questions like this if you think no sex before marriage is such a great thing.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-wife-has-never-been-interested-in-sex.html
It's not.... (read in full...)
Do I tell him his mother ruined his proposal?
Q. My boyfriend (now fiance) and I took a trip to Australia with his family last March. The day before we left for the trip his mother e-mailed me and added the words "almost mother in law" beside her name. Well this was pretty much a dead give away ...
A. 2 January 2007: If this is your biggest worry in life you need to thank your sweet lord for all the blessings you have..... people are dying out there and you're worried that your princess "moment" wasn't quite perfect... wow.
... (read in full...)
My face goes red when I'm embarrassed!
Q. hi im 16 and whenever someone embarresses me i go bright red! i hate it, i go so red it looks like my face is going to burst! how do i stop this? its getting me down......
A. 24 November 2006: Hon, the important thing is not to let this get you down.
Some people, particularly white people with fair skin (or those with ginger hair) are prone to facial flushing (i.e. the capillaries in their face dilate easily and noticably).
Their f... (read in full...)
What does anal sex feel like?
Q. Is anal sex sore? What does it feel like? Any tips...
A. 10 October 2006: Feels like you need a poop, so everyone says. I wouldn't know, because GOD intended it to be a one-way-street and that's the way I intend to keep it.... (read in full...)
Can somebody give me some 'turn on tips' for my new man?
Q. Would like some input here please. What can a woman do to turn on and impress a man in the bedroom? I am with a new guy and would like some tips please, perhaps from the guys out there - what is it you like? Thanks x...
A. 10 October 2006: Some or all of
Dominate him, get on top press his hands down with yours
Slurpy oral with blowjob eyes
Sit on his face
Cute sexy underwear
Lots of sexy noises
Smiles: Look like you're enjoying it
... (read in full...)
To Spit or Swallow? What is normal thing to do?
Q. I need help! When people say "Spit or Swallow" when giving head, what is the normal thing to do? Isn't spitting rude, but swallowing pretty disgusting? Help!! xXxXx...
A. 2 October 2006: Only hookers use condoms for blowjobs (unless he has an STD... how well do you know this guy?)
If you pad him up before sucking him off he'll go limp and it will be like licking a wet weiner.... (read in full...)
To Spit or Swallow? What is normal thing to do?
Q. I need help! When people say "Spit or Swallow" when giving head, what is the normal thing to do? Isn't spitting rude, but swallowing pretty disgusting? Help!! xXxXx...
A. 2 October 2006: I eat seafood.
Mostly prawns, oysters and languistine.
The odd snapper.... (read in full...)
To Spit or Swallow? What is normal thing to do?
Q. I need help! When people say "Spit or Swallow" when giving head, what is the normal thing to do? Isn't spitting rude, but swallowing pretty disgusting? Help!! xXxXx...
A. 2 October 2006: Swallow.
It's less messy. It shows commitment.
It tastes like seafood.
(or so I hear)... (read in full...)
Sunbed question:- Are you supposed to turn over when using one ?
Q. Stupid question on a sunbed are you supposed to turn around or not? I was on the sunbed this morning and my back got more red than my top side? Are you meant to turn on your stomach?...
A. 24 August 2006: Sunbeds are a near guaranteed way to get skin cancer. Far worse than "natural" tanning in the sun.... (read in full...)
Tips for eating before the Gym!!
Q. Hello, need some health and gyming advice. Is it recommended to have a meal before gyming? If you have a heavy meal or dinner then go to gym thereafter, does it do more harm then good?? Thanks...
A. 24 August 2006: Won't kill you (usually) but it's more common to eat after going to the gym than before. Depends on whether you're after weight loss/muscle building etc. There are lots of good sites on weight loss, try a google and see what comes up.... (read in full...)
I love her so much that when we are apart it hurts so much, how can I deal a bit better ?
Q. Is it possible to love somebody TOO much? I am engaged to a girl, she has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life. When we are together, I am in heaven, but when we are apart, I am like a lost puppy. When she is not around, I become moo...
A. 24 August 2006: Sounds like you're "in love". It will pass.... (read in full...)
What to do with my not so "everyday" journals ?
Q. I know this problem may seem a bit silly, but it is worrying me, and I WILL have to make a decision one day. It has been playing on my mind more than usual as my father died recently, very suddenly, and at a young age, so I know how unpredictable ...
A. 24 August 2006: Great question.
You should get an agent and publish them. Quite seriously, you'd make a million. You could remain anonymous too.
If you don't want to do that, you could mention them in your "will". Just explain that they are personal diaries... (read in full...)
My parents are upset that I am dating a co-worker! What wrong with that??
Q. I really need help!! My parents are upset that I got invovled with someone from work! Is getting invovled with someone that you work with that bad or is it just them? Help PLEASE!!...
A. 24 August 2006: I think the problems of being involved with a co-worker are over-rated. Sure there can be problems but THAT'S LIFE. Some of the happiest people I know hooked up at work. It's not like we're doing jobs for life anyway so you won't be working ... (read in full...)
I love her so much that when we are apart it hurts so much, how can I deal a bit better ?
Q. Is it possible to love somebody TOO much? I am engaged to a girl, she has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life. When we are together, I am in heaven, but when we are apart, I am like a lost puppy. When she is not around, I become moo...
A. 24 August 2006: You need to build your own life because otherwise you'll smother her... Or you'll go to pieces when she leaves you.
Imagine your life as four boxes.
Leisure
Work
Friends/Family
Bird
Each should be even. You've allowed the "bird" (gi... (read in full...)
Any ideas how I can orgasm through penetrative sex?
Q. I find it really hard to have an orgasm when I have penetrative sex. In fact, I have only ever come once doing this. I find it hard to come at all in front of someone so this was the only time. I want to start getting out of sex what my partner ...
A. 17 August 2006: Dearest Yos,
Please don't keep us on tenderhooks! What were these two critical tips!??!?
Your dear friend,
Harshbutfair... (read in full...)
Is a relationship ok when it has no sex?
Q. I met my boyfriend in late Jan through a mutual friend of ours. And while I wasn't attracted to him at first (I'd just gotten out of a relationship and he had a grilfriend) we continued to hang out and see each other because of our our shared ...
A. 29 July 2006: In a word... No. It's not ok. A relationship without sex, when you're young and healthy won't last. One or other partner will stray. One or other partner will become bitter. Or or other partner will turn to the Internet for their sexual ... (read in full...)
Boys/guys: What do you think about?
Q. What do guys think about? can anyone give me a true breakdown of their minds cos at the moment i dont have a clue. Help please! This seems very random but i have my reasons...so any boys wana share their thoughts?...
A. 26 July 2006: Money.
Ladies.
Friends.
Cars.
Wars.
Politics.
Science.
Food.
Drink.
Pooping.
(in that order)... (read in full...)
My fiancee was brutally honest in telling me she thinks my penis is too short!
Q. Dear Cupid, My penis is 4.5" short. I've spent the past several years convincing myself that that's OK. I read up on it and discovered that most women either don't care or prefer medium length. I told myself "size doesn't matter" over and...
A. 18 July 2006: This is the most idiotic thing I've ever read on here.
Not her, you.
You're "engaged" to an Iranian chick you've never met? Get real. Seriously, you need to switch off the interweb, get outside and meet someone real and form a real relations... (read in full...)
What does sperm taste like?
Q. Can anyone tell me what sperm tastes like because me and this boy are planning on doing stuff but i dont know if i want him to *** in my mouth in case it tastes nasty. Can anyone help?...
A. 17 July 2006: Sea water that's had a penny (cent if you're USA) added, and been mixed with a pureed oyster.
There are many things more nasty. Think of it as a character test.
Harshy.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks penises are gross and disgusting!
Q. I have been dating my gf for over 3 years and we have a great relationship. I love her deeply and we are planning on getting engaged soon. We never really argue or fight about anything but if there was one thing that bothered me about us, would be ...
A. 17 July 2006: I've written about this before and I'll write about it again.
Two types of people in this world
SEX PEOPLE - they're into sex
Others - they're not into sex
Someone who isn't a sex person can't become one... Ever. If you want to enjoy ... (read in full...)
Does chocolate really give you spots?
Q. My boyfriend said that chocolate gives you spots... is this true? I have loads of spots and eat chocolate all the time! If Cocoa Butter is good for spots/skin, well why when eating chocolate (that contains Cocoa Butter) gives you spots?? Confused...
A. 11 July 2006: Excellent answer by Dr.Psych. The answer is that no-one knows. Only a handful of poor quality studies have been performed into this question, so for anyone to state that "it does" or "it doesn't" as a fact is wrong. That said, there are a couple ... (read in full...)
My wife just isn't interested in sex, and it's driving me mad!
Q. Hi, I have a question. I'm 27. I'm in marriage that's devoid of affection and sex, and I'm losing my mind. Basically, I'm the only man on the planet not having regular sex, and the sexual fustration makes me deeply depressed. My wife is cool per...
A. 3 July 2006: With regards to sex, there are fundamentally TWO types of people. There are SEX PEOPLE and there are others. Sadly, you have married someone who is not a SEX PERSON. It is almost impossible to change someone who has no natural interest in sex, ... (read in full...)
Dating wouldn't pull me away from God, would it?
Q. I am a very strong Christian if you get different strengths). My dad's a vicar and I have set up and run the Christian union. I'm friends with many people and because of me many people have become Christians. But my best friend, who is a lad, is ...
A. 2 July 2006: I don't believe in a God and certainly not a Christian god. So you may want to take my words with a pinch of salt.
Surely you're best off making your own decisions rather than trying to second-guess some Big Fella you believe in. If He's tha... (read in full...)
How do lady lesbians... do it? What goes where?
Q. hi, i dont understand gay and lesbian sex. if two women are having sex then how cos there vaginas go together but how to they get an orgasm? cos wiv a man and a women the mans willy goes into the women and that feels nice but in gay/lesbian sex ...
A. 2 July 2006: Brace yourself because I was horrified when I found out. When gay men have sex one man's willy goes into the other man's butt!
I know it sounds appalling but people tell me it's true.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has made my life a misery... I need to leave him but how?
Q. I love my boyfriend and we have been togethr a little over two years now, but I have to leave him. He loves me and is not bad to me in any direct way. He just makes me unhappy. When we first started seeing each other, I had a good social life....
A. 22 June 2006: The thought is harder than the reality. Wise advice from Paul Simon: "there must be 50 ways to leave your lover". Fifty! Just pick one.... (read in full...)
What clues would suggest my husband might be gay?
Q. Are there signs that could tell me if my husband is gay?...
A. 22 June 2006: He fancies men?... (read in full...)
Do boys know when girls have a period
Q. do teenage boys know when teenage girls are on their period?...
A. 20 June 2006: Yes, because girls on their period turn cows mad and milk sour.... (read in full...)
Wedding is next Monday but I dont want to marry him at all! Help.
Q. Wedding is Next Monday but I dont want to marry him at all! I (27 years old)can not believe I will marry a man(29 years old) I have lost sexual interest in him for almost one year, he is kind,loyal and giving, but he is not my type. At the begi...
A. 20 June 2006: So you agreed to get married when you didn't want to, and haven't had the guts to cancel. And he is spineless, wanting to still get married when you say you're not keen.
To be fair, you both sound as daft as each other... I say get married,... (read in full...)
Promised God that I wouldn't have sex again, but I can't empty my mind of thoughts about it!
Q. Recently I made a pledge with God to not have sex again because I had sex with my ex-boyfriend which was a really awful mistake because I wasn't able to deal with the emotional consequences of losing my virginity to someone who really wasn't a good ...
A. 16 June 2006: Bonym... Ignoring your belief in God do you believe *yourself* that abstaining from sex is the right thing to do, for *you*? For what reasons?
And are you worried that you may not be sexually compatible with a future husband, or that you may redu... (read in full...)
Promised God that I wouldn't have sex again, but I can't empty my mind of thoughts about it!
Q. Recently I made a pledge with God to not have sex again because I had sex with my ex-boyfriend which was a really awful mistake because I wasn't able to deal with the emotional consequences of losing my virginity to someone who really wasn't a good ...
A. 16 June 2006: "just don't know any different"
Anja, I'm curious if you could explain the personal journey that you took that gave you the view that there is a God (and a Christian one, at that). I'm sure it will be of genuine interest to everyone.
My feel... (read in full...)
Promised God that I wouldn't have sex again, but I can't empty my mind of thoughts about it!
Q. Recently I made a pledge with God to not have sex again because I had sex with my ex-boyfriend which was a really awful mistake because I wasn't able to deal with the emotional consequences of losing my virginity to someone who really wasn't a good ...
A. 16 June 2006: HOLY JESUS ANJA! Take it easy.
To the chick who asked this question. Why deny yourself the pleasure of physical closeness? The first time you had sex it was with a Bad Guy. Maybe what you *actually* did was make a little promise to yourself... (read in full...)
I'm taking laxatives every day... Is this a good thing?
Q. Hi all... I am 25ys old. Since I can remember (14-15 yrs old), I never had free bowel movements. I would poo like once every 2-3 days. I figured that it was because of my dieting and irregular eating habits and not drinking enough water. But, now I ...
A. 14 June 2006: Hello my constipated angel.
Firstly, see your doctor about stopping the laxatives. Only they can tell you what you've done to your health and how to get off them and normalize your bowels.
Now for my opinion.
You say that you're eating "... (read in full...)
What are male preferences for girls hair and height?
Q. teenage male advise - do you prefer a girl with their hair up in a pony tail or down? second question - curly, wavy or straight hair? third question - do you prefer a girl that is tall or average height cos my mate is very tall and all the boys loo...
A. 1 June 2006: I'll help.
Hair. Straight or curly not too worried so long as it shines. Do not scrape it back from your head (that's for chavs). Two pony tails one each site is cute and sexy, but only save for special occasions (sex and clubbing). Hair should b... (read in full...)
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