She says she wants to be friends but I feel like she is blowing me off all the time!
Q. So, dated this girl a while back, but I always tried to keep in touch. She said she wanted to still hang out and stuff, but she never initiates contact.(none of my friends ever contact me, not unless they need something or something bad has ...
A. 2 July 2011: hello, Ok, you don't want her as a friend, you want her as a girlfriend. That is what you need to understand. If you accept this then realise that she isn't into you. Don't hang around for emails and crumbs of texts and communication. It's all a wa... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: It's a very vivid scene for you to see. Both naked and all his things on display. There was way too much drinking on all sides. Best to get tested and then try to move on. Maybe nothing happened and that could be the best way to be thinking. No one ... (read in full...)
Is my ex still upset about us breaking up?
Q. Do you think my ex is still upset about us breaking up ?. He sent me a message a couple of weeks ago out of the blue saying " well, i hope your life is better, and that you are happy, i really do " . We've spoken again a couple of times since then, ...
A. 1 July 2011: OP--You have to tell us how you broke up. Did he break or you? At moment, sounds like you both miss each other a lot. ... (read in full...)
He said he was going away for a few weeks, now it has been 4 months! Should I wait or move on?
Q. Help me! my boyfriend has been away on a so called business trip for four months now(South America).When he left,he said it will only be three weeks.We have a child together( eleven months old)he hasnt sent any help finacialy since he left,he phones ...
A. 24 June 2011: Hello,
If you are speaking once a week, then you need to ask him this question. Ask him what is happening? How long is the trip? What's going on? You need to find out. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend will not have anything to do with my second ex!
Q. I need a question answered but first i will try to tell you the history I have been with a girl now for 1.5 years she is great and we get along so well. However there is one issue that i can't resolve and it will break us up! I have been in two ...
A. 24 June 2011: Your girlfriend dated you and knew full well about your situation. It is obvious to assume that birthdays, marriages, baptisms, funerals etc and the "whole" family would be around including your children's mother. So she is not supportive to you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is getting divorced but his soon-to-be ex wife just moved back in, should I believe him?
Q. Hi. Some background 1st, I guess would be helpful. I'm 25, my BF is 41 and his "soon to be" ex wife is 35ish. (Not real sure) Anyway they were together 8yrs and have 2 younger kids together (6 and 10). We have been dating just over 6months now ...
A. 24 June 2011: There are too many stories here from him. They tell you what you want to believe. Any person that was free from ties could web cam whenever and do whatever. It's not your fault about the living together, it is just his way of moving the problem onto ... (read in full...)
I'm not usually one to break up families, but I can't help the way I feel about him.
Q. I've got a bit of a dilemma and would really like some advice. I've fallen in love with a man who is already in a relationship with another woman. He said he loves me too, but the only problem is, is that he lives in Wales, and I live in England....
A. 23 June 2011: Hello,
I just read Wheeler's advice. What an amazing insight and very heart wrenching.
Well OP, all I can do is advise against this. He has his child and girlfriend and is miles away from you. In affairs, they really do tell you all you need or ... (read in full...)
We started off on the wrong note. Does he want me back or is he just messing me about?
Q. I met someone a couple of weeks ago on an internet date. As soon as I met him (and this wasn't all to do finding him physically attractive), I knew I liked him. I've been waiting a long time to feel chemistry with someone and I'd finally found it! ...
A. 22 June 2011: Thanks for update. You say things got nasty in the texts and the aunts here advised against this guy. But then you meet him for dinner!
Just be careful with him as it is odd that his texts don't match his in person. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that a guy can be this shy?!
Q. Is it possible that a guy can be this shy?! Ive been texting a guy i met in a nightclub, he lives in another town almost 3 hours away. He came across shy and awkward, but he was nice. He did explain he really likes me but that he is super shy. ...
A. 21 June 2011: He needed to do a lot of things to further something with you but he didn't. He needed to accept a date, call you but he didn't. I don't think it is worth waiting too much longer here. There is not a lot you can do. Move on or try one more text for ... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out for a September date?
Q. Alright so there is this girl i had met at university who i really liked and coincidentally she lived in the room next to mine in residence so we got to know one another by the end of the year. So here is my problem, for most of the school year she ...
A. 21 June 2011: Well, if I were you i would simply keep the communication going. Be interested in what she does, share whats happening over the next few months. Build up and continue your communication. Don't ask her out yet, you need to keep getting to know her. ... (read in full...)
Do you think there is someone else and he is too gutless to tell me? Is that why he has withdrawn?
Q. Hey There I am having a problem wih my LDR. Its been a year now and we were all guud up until march of this year. He started to withdraw from me and we stopped talking everyday how we used too. We fight a lot coz I cant take the emotional abuse ...
A. 21 June 2011: Oh get rid now! I see you already have. Great move lady. Congratulations. Don't take that off of anybody again. Well done. ... (read in full...)
Flame agrees to hang out but not giving me his number. Whats that mean?
Q. Hey guys , I've fallen for guy I used to work with whose recently become one of my good mates .. Before I got to know him I really fell for him pretty hard without knowing he was taken .. He found out i liked him thru a friend of mine ..We ...
A. 21 June 2011: He says meet some time and then doesn't give you his number straight away. Doesn't sound keen to me. Just be careful he is not still with his girl. He may use you. ... (read in full...)
We started off on the wrong note. Does he want me back or is he just messing me about?
Q. I met someone a couple of weeks ago on an internet date. As soon as I met him (and this wasn't all to do finding him physically attractive), I knew I liked him. I've been waiting a long time to feel chemistry with someone and I'd finally found it! ...
A. 20 June 2011: Creepy. you don't need this in your life. all games and strange behaviour. Cease all contact. ... (read in full...)
Not in the mood for sex after childbirth. What am I going to do?
Q. i've been with my husband for alittle over 3 years. we have a 19 month old boy and after he was born my sex drive has gone from waking him up to make love to pushing him off me when he wants to. what am i going to do?...
A. 20 June 2011: You need to speak to him. Tell him, be honest, tell him that ever since the birth of your son you have lost desire. Be honest, he will suspect things are not right. But communication is the best way. Explain how you feel and whats happening. Then ... (read in full...)
He went from speaking to me every day to nothing! What is going on?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles.... Really need advice about a man. Where shall I begin...will give you the short version. Met guy I'm 31, his 27. Liked him. Usual stuff doesn't do relationships! Find out was in a 5 year one long time back which he wasn't ...
A. 20 June 2011: Oh dear. Well, I have to say that he is now with this new woman. Don't buy into any of this new job and busy business. All rubbish. Obviously, I don't know how long you were with him, time frame, sex etc but it now appears he has moved onto this new ... (read in full...)
She wants to be friends but I like her; what should I do?
Q. I need to move on and fast because I love my neighbor but she loves me as a brother and since we live a minute away from each other I want to stay friends but its hard because I have feelings for her. Yesterday was terrible I was staying with her ...
A. 20 June 2011: Well, dealing with this girl first. You don't want her as a friend. You can see what happens there by the beach. Friends are friends and she is perfectly within her rights to have a boyfriend or hug another guy. It sucks being the friend as you ... (read in full...)
Is a vibrator useful to women. Is the orgasm better with a vibrator?
Q. Do women who enjoy having sex and have a vibrator enjoy using it??? If you do, Do you get a quicker 'Orgasm than with your partner?...
A. 20 June 2011: Yes, I use one as the orgasm is so quick. Sex with partner is great but has always taken time to orgasm. ... (read in full...)
Since I asked her to be my girlfriend she backed off, what do I do?
Q. Hi dear cupid, I'm 19, she's 17. I met her, got her number we started calling and texting each other very frequently. After a month it was almost like we were boyfriend and girlfriend but I hadn't officially asked her, but in theory we were. I...
A. 20 May 2011: Hello,
I'd try to further with the girl you just met. The first one had to think about it and that's never a good sign. What's there to think about? Nothing you either want or you don't. She became distant because she didnt want to answer with a no... (read in full...)
The friend zone!!!
Q. hello everyone. basically i would like to know what is your stance on the friend zone. As a guy i think that it's wrong. there is this girl who is a close friend but whenever i try to get closer to her she resists. however she wants to be my f...
A. 20 May 2011: Hello,
The friendship line is often misused. It really means I'm not into you in that way. While you are with this girl you are not happy and also it can prevent chances with other girls. So, if you are not happy just have a little chat with her ... (read in full...)
A night of fun or the real deal?
Q. At the end of the school year I ended up going out on the town with a good female friend of mine. Alcohol was involved, and by the end of the night we were sleeping together and making out. When we woke up the next morning, we were both sober and ...
A. 18 May 2011: Hello, If you are interested get in touch. She may feel you just had pleasure and didn't contact. ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex log into messenger everytime I do and stay on for as long as me, when he had blocked me before?
Q. HI All, Your insights would be most welcome!! I finally ended it with my ex- well he was an ex but we were still kind of in touch. It was a very volitile relationship,I really loved him, but I got very hurt, and was very angry that he would se...
A. 18 May 2011: Hello,
He seems to be leaving the door open for further communication. I dare say the ball is in your court. You could block him permanently if you are finished with him. If not, then message him if you still want him. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so horny?
Q. I am Thirteen (Almost 14) and almost always horny. I'm ok with the fact, but not that I am horny all the time. Is there any way to keep my self from being like this so much? I know it would go down if I had sex, but I'm 13, that's not happening any ...
A. 18 May 2011: Hello,
Well, you could masturbate and enjoy this. It is your age and growing up and moving away from being a child to adult. Don't start the sex at such a young age, just enjoy masturbating. Have fun!... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend is not paying any attention to me!
Q. i m in committed ldr relation since 2 years. lately i have realised that the things have changed. my bf has stopped paying attention.he doesn't wish me gm, neither he texts me. At the night he calls only if i will msg him something. he...
A. 18 May 2011: Hello,
I'm afraid it's time to call things off. You are both too far away. You will only do your head in by worrying and thinking about what's going on and what isn't. Time to call it a day and then move on. no one's fault, just distance and no p... (read in full...)
The weight and height difference is getting in the way of us being together!
Q. ok so im a freshman in high school so is he. we text a lot it seems like he likes me. the only thing holding me back is my weight. im 5'2" and 115lbs. hes 6'3" and so tall and skinny. what do i do?...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello OP,
Who says the tummy fat turns him off? It's never turned them off in my experience. He texts you and obviously likes doing it. We would all confess to one or two specific things we dont like about ourselves. I say keep getting to know him.... (read in full...)
How do I get into the friend zone?
Q. i hang out with 2 very good friends, the girl i liked knows that i like her and she doesnt like me. i am getting over her now hopefully. Now this girl has really started to hang out with us and although she isnt into me, i just wanna be really g...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello,
Yes it is awkward and I can understand your situation. Did you ask her on a date? Or, are you just thinking she doesn't like you? If you haven't said any of the above, just talk to her and clear the air. Ask her if there is any reason she ... (read in full...)
The weight and height difference is getting in the way of us being together!
Q. ok so im a freshman in high school so is he. we text a lot it seems like he likes me. the only thing holding me back is my weight. im 5'2" and 115lbs. hes 6'3" and so tall and skinny. what do i do?...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello, I can't see a problem. He texts you so obviously has seen you and still texts. He likes you. I've dated guys above 6ft, even one at 6ft8. All head and shoulders above me and it never made a difference. You ask what you do? Keep texting ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex is accusing me? And what should I say when I respond to his text?
Q. Right, so I went through a break up with someone called, lets call him D, I was heartbroken because I really did like him a lot, I was actually properly upset for a few weeks, like to the point where I stopped my studies and just stayed home in ...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello,
Text back and say..."Hi, I'm good. The tracking number is dddcccvvv. I don't know anything about your camera. Thanks."
And then leave things at that. I see that its a LDR so let things go know and carry on healing yourself. And of course, ... (read in full...)
Is this a good long term method to desensitize the penis?
Q. I read somewhere that for uncircumcised/sensitive penis a remedy to desensitize it is to expose the head of the penis (or glans) for by pulling the foreskin back, for long period each day for several days (or even weeks). Say I pull my foreskin...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello,
I'm just wondering why you would want to do this? For what reasons? Both circumcised and foreskin penises are perfectly adequate for any girl! ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish that I don't want my boyfriend's 2 kids to live with us?
Q. My boyfriend has two kids from a previous marriage. One is 7, and the other one is 5. They are two very hyper boys. We have a 9 week old together. I never knew his boys were living with their mothers grandmother. So, not too long ago, she told my...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello,
You are not selfish but it looks like the most practical decision. If no one wants them then their father has to take them. Of course he has to. There is no other option. They are his children. The DNA business is another problem beca... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend is not paying any attention to me!
Q. i m in committed ldr relation since 2 years. lately i have realised that the things have changed. my bf has stopped paying attention.he doesn't wish me gm, neither he texts me. At the night he calls only if i will msg him something. he...
A. 17 May 2011: Hello,
I don't know how long your distance is? 50 miles? 200 miles?
Do you meet up regularly? Once a month?
It seems this LDR has run it's course. He seems as if he has drifted away from it. No one's fault really, just distance and not meeting ... (read in full...)
I need to walk away from my married lover for good!
Q. I need some help to walk away from my married lover for good. We have been together for 4 years, hes in his early forties and im 26 with a young child. Over the years he has hurt me numerous times, told me he was leaving his wife almost every we...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
You need to have an iron will and never ever doubt your decision. Never doubt you have left him. The longer it becomes, the better it gets. It really does. Just find that iron will inside you and no matter what happens or befalls you, neve... (read in full...)
How do I ask out this friend?
Q. So here's the thing, I have this friend (female) that I'm actually really into, I see her about 2 times a week (but in a group of friends, not one on one). She's coming to a house party on this week, I just want to know how to pull her aside, out of ...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
Based on what you say, this is a high risk to ask her out. What signs do you have that there are mutual feelings? I don't recommend telling her she is amazing. You tell her that when you are an item. This is high risk. She may feel it odd ... (read in full...)
I have asked her to be my girlfriend but she has not given me an answer! What can I do now?
Q. I love my Friend, we are like just friends for about 1.5 years, now I feel that I am in love. I want her as my Girlfriend and i've told her but she is not giving me positive answer. one thing which could be important that she does not want to break ...
A. 16 May 2011: Nothing you can do. You asked and now it is up to her. I worry that you are more important to her as a friend than a boyfriend though. Also, if she was really into you as a bf, then she may not have mentioned breaking the friendship. ... (read in full...)
A quick (honest) survey: How often do you and your partner have sex?
Q. This is something I am interested in as this often comes up on Dear Cupid, how often are couples actually having sex? I know personally I feel that my boyfriend and I are not having enough sex, I am 24 and he is nearly 28 yet we have sex once or...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
Well around a couple of times a month and we are great with that as were both working and finish late or feel tired and enjoy relaxing together. But it is whatever suits both people and communication is vital. Holidays are free from work... (read in full...)
Did she purposely text me and pretend it was an accident to let me know that she's thinking about me?
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months and about 3 weeks ago I found a text to her ex bf that lives out of state now and I approached her on it. For the next few weeks we have not hung out at all, we've been texting here and there, just ...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
I can't say if she texted you late or made a mistake or was texting someone else. I would let this one go. She went off you when you found the Ex text. That was an ewww moment. Then she went silent and casual and lost interest in you. You ... (read in full...)
What really happened here? He said he was leaving her for me and would step up and be a man, but I have not heard from him in a month!
Q. Hello, My question is, I'm confused about my x, we broke up about a year ago...we didn't see each other for the whole year, we were under strict rules not to, after the year was up he came right to me, told me how much he had missed me, loved me...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
It's a familiar pattern and I believe he will be back and he will be so convincing that you'll be back where you started. But he will never truly be there for you. He won't leave and he will never be committed only to you. Use an iron will... (read in full...)
Contacted by my first years later, and he wants me to behave like a whore
Q. I am 55 yrs. old. Out of the blue and old boyfriend of mine from high school, contacted via facebook..He was my first. I was 17 years old and was what i thought was true love. I was inexperienced and scared back then. Throghout many years I have ...
A. 16 May 2011: Hello,
I can only say that the advice that has been given already is very helpful. In your case I would use a saying, "When you have read the last page, it's time to close the book." Your book here was closed a long time ago and I would leave it c... (read in full...)
Internet love gone wrong...
Q. Hey :) Okay i really need some help x im 15 years old and well im on a couple of teenage dating websites, i only joined them at first to make some friends but i met this really lovely guy. Hes so sweet and we clicked ...
A. 13 May 2011: Hello,
If you feel like this then don't meet up with him or further anything. It's not fair to lead people on etc. So you now need a way out?
Ok, depending on what information he already has....
1, Tell him your parents are not allowing you... (read in full...)
Suggestions needed please on how to cope with his ex's and still be friends with them?
Q. Hey so this isn't a huge problem but my boyfriend is still friends with a couple of his exes from high school. We have been out of high school for 4 years and none of their relationships were very long. But he wants us to all hang out together. I ...
A. 13 May 2011: Hello,
It would depend what kind of relationships he had with the exes. Was it schoolboy crush and friendship or sexual relationships? I would be uncomfortable with getting to know his former sexual partners. In fact, i wouldn't, but that's just... (read in full...)
Old boyfriend had cancer and I want to start it up again but I'm scared
Q. Hi, I think i need some opinions because am at a crossroads! Sooo I will have to start from the beginning so it makes sense. When I was 14 I went out with a lad I went to school with and afterwards we generally stayed in touch. He got diagnosed wi...
A. 12 May 2011: Hello,
Just evaluate your role and ask yourself if you are tring to be a rescuer in this situation. Sometimes, there is a need to rescue people and our own needs are not being fulfilled. That's all. Good luck in what you do. ... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating asked me if I want to see sex tape of her and a guy from college, and says her ex-bf liked to watch it! What do I make of this???
Q. Aunts, can you please give me some perspective of this please. I have been dating this girl for like 3 months. she is gorgeous, 26, very sweet. I know she has a number of bfs in the past and she's experienced with guys. But i dont let that intimid...
A. 12 May 2011: Oh dear how awful. I wouldn't put up with this. I'd be devastated if I even knew that my guy had a copy of something like this. ... (read in full...)
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