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*riffo agony aunt

*riffo

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Oh well some don't like my thoughts. Got a few poor ratings there, anyway ive made many people happy too. Honestly, i wont tell you what you want to hear ill tell you what i believe.

Mind you please keep in mind this is not advice im giving you they are mearly my thoughts, feelings, and impressions I feel when reading and answering your questions.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [17 pages, 659 answers]

I am afraid to tell him I want to spend as much time with him as possible incase I scare him away

Q.   So I had been talking to this guy through email over a period of three months, he would tell me about his journeys overseas and about himself and vice versa and we really connected and we even spoke on msn on christmas day. Each day I would wake up ...

A.   18 May 2010: No, your just thinking too much about it now. Love is simple it just happens you can make it happen. If you feel that your not giving him enough space and you haven't even met then there is something really wrong ...don't you think? When two peop... (read in full...)

He told me he's territorial and doesn't want me hanging out with other guys! What does he mean?

Q.   hey i gotta question whats it mean when my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't want me hanging with other guys or really talking to them.....he told me hes territorial...??...

A.   11 February 2010: In smaller weaker primitive groups and tribes there is teritorial element buts thats very primitive and is only because the group or individual is feeling threatened or is becoming an extinct species. In your case its the same thing, he's fee... (read in full...)

Can friendship turn to a romantic relationship?

Q.   Is it possible to be with someone romantically that i have been just friends with for years and have it actually work out?...

A.   2 February 2010: Yes, certianly! Thats how all the greatest love stories begin. With a good solid friendship. love is best when your in love with your best friend.... (read in full...)

My friend is being too obsessive

Q.   Hello everyone, I have a problem, at school there's this girl who I was nice to and we became friends, but now she's too obssesive, she waits for me after every class, intimidates my other friend, make me feel really down when she always complaine...

A.   2 February 2010: Dont ignore her. give her some time and talk with her about this. If she is truly your friend she will understand ... and a good friend will bring it up.... (read in full...)

I dated a known cheater and now he has cheated on me I have trust issues.

Q.   I apologize if my question is long, but you must know all the details for it to make sense. I also changed the names of the people. Thank you for listening I really need advice. . Spencer and I met last year in May,(we have been together for alm...

A.   2 February 2010: "Cheating doesn't make the person a bad quality person. It's just one aspect of things" WRONG! Cheating makes the person bad quality, they distroy your dignity. Of all aspects that is humiliating for someone, and it means you are not that special ... (read in full...)

We are both like a pair of rabbits, but how can I take it to an even higher level?

Q.   Here is one that only women with a high sex drive can help me with. My girlfriend of six months is an old high school interest. We met after both having kids and long marriages, she has always owned part of my heart and while I sometimes feel l...

A.   2 February 2010: I'm not a gal! But what I can tell you is a woman needs to be eroused with the mind as well. Make her feel loved. Love her and all her fantasies will multiply by infinity and you will reach that 10.... (read in full...)

I dated a known cheater and now he has cheated on me I have trust issues.

Q.   I apologize if my question is long, but you must know all the details for it to make sense. I also changed the names of the people. Thank you for listening I really need advice. . Spencer and I met last year in May,(we have been together for alm...

A.   2 February 2010: If you knew very well he was a cheater, how the he'll do you think he's a great guy? He's not a great guy and you should not be holding on to such a back stabber. You sound like a really great girl. Don't let this ruin your heart but do mov... (read in full...)

Do I need to let her go home to her family and trust her? I'm afraid she will meet her ex.

Q.   I need advice on whether to be ok with my fiancé, soon to be wife, going back home for Christmas. Her parents and some of her family live in Florida. About 3 states away. Her sisters live in Texas. She moved here with one of her sisters two year...

A.   2 February 2010: Tell her exactly what you wrote here. Even show it to her. Firstly, if she really truly loves you she will say good bye to him in a flash. And secondly is it worth having a fiancée who gives you these worries? I hope she understands that she prob... (read in full...)

What does one do with themselves, when they realize their life plan and biggest hope will never happen?

Q.   Well, I'll try to make this short, but I always wanted to have kids. Or I should say I thought that I'd have kids by now. But I don't and I doubt that I will find someone before I am infertile, to be biologically honest. I recently got out...

A.   2 February 2010: I think you got a bit of it the wrong way round. You see, most people first date, then get a little more serious, then get married, and after marriage comes the children. Some people don't get married but live as a defecto couple and have children. ... (read in full...)

She asked if I would have unprotected sex with her, what should I do?

Q.   hello, my name is lachie. i am 14 nearly 15, currently single, i have alot of feelings for a family friend of mine, i know she has feelings for me to, but both of our parents dont want us to be togeather, and the other night, she asked if i would ...

A.   2 February 2010: Could be for baby reasons, could just be that she wants it to be natural. How old is she? 16 or over? if so does she take the pill? It could very well be that she's afraid that it won't fit you and it could get list somewhere! Talk to her a... (read in full...)

Why do men hurt the women they love? He was my friend for 7 years.

Q.   I have been really close friends with a male coworker of mine for seven years. When he was much younger, his girlfriend did some serious damage to his ego. The way he told me was like a joke though when we first met. Over the summer, we grew very ...

A.   2 February 2010: You will find in life that many men do not want to get to close to a woman as a friend. Sometimes when they do it is for the reasons that when they are seen with women it makes them look more attractive. I believe that's what's happened in this ... (read in full...)

I've had meaningless sex and didn't enjoy it. What can I do so that my next time is enjoyable?

Q.   Petra at home, I love your comments! More advice please! Yes the times I have had sex are really spaced apart. The first time I had sex was June of 2008. Then again in July. Then again in August. All with the same man. Then I didnt have sex til Feb....

A.   2 February 2010: Fall in love. And all the good feelings will be multiplied by infinity.... (read in full...)

What little things do girls do that you love?

Q.   okay, i know i'm young, yeahyeah. blahblah 'dont have sex,' blah! thats not what i want to hear, what i want to know is little things that you love that a girl does. and i dont just mean during sex, but other times too, like to be romantic or ...

A.   2 February 2010: I know this special girl who comes in and out of my life, but I don't know when she'll come back or if ill ever see her again untill the next time. I like that sence of unexpected surprise from her. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. ... (read in full...)

I have a guilt riding on my conscience about trying to take someone away from someone else!

Q.   Could really use some help here. I just started a new job and came across the most beautiful girl I have ever met. The problem is that she is in a relationship with another man. The thing is that she has been in this relationship for over four years ...

A.   2 February 2010: If she's told you all of this. Then the best thing you can do is be her friend and support her. She will really appreciate that from you especially from a guy she can trust. I would not snatch her away just yet because what likley will happen i... (read in full...)

How much money will we need?

Q.   How much money should me and my boyfriend save up before moving into a place of our own? I currently live with my mum, and he lives with his mum and step dad, but i'll be moving in there in the summer and we'd like to get our own place as soon as ...

A.   2 February 2010: To rent: I'd say at least around £3000. this is for deposit, items and start up expences. you may need some things. To buy, I'd say about 10% of the value of the property, plus a very good solid stable income. Work out your weekly or monthl... (read in full...)

Was it rape or attempted rape?

Q.   Is this rape or attempted rape? I'm 18 years old now and when this first started i was 17 almost 18. Well my mom wanted me to get a job. so she asks her friend who i didn't really care for about letting me work for him. she has known this guy s...

A.   2 February 2010: Okay, you said no. Then id go to the police as soon as possible and explain your situation to them. its imoprtant that you do this otherwise, the idiot may get worse.... (read in full...)

Was it rape or attempted rape?

Q.   Is this rape or attempted rape? I'm 18 years old now and when this first started i was 17 almost 18. Well my mom wanted me to get a job. so she asks her friend who i didn't really care for about letting me work for him. she has known this guy s...

A.   2 February 2010: In criminal law, rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with another person without that person's consent. Can you talk to your mom about this? If not id go see a councellor at the local police station as soon as you can,... (read in full...)

Is dating someone who is financially unstable with stress and anxiety issues worth it?

Q.   My boyfriend is broke. After working as a stock broker and earning a very high income, he began suffering medical issues from the stress and pressure of the job. He eventually quit this job so that he could improve his health and found something ...

A.   2 February 2010: Why doesn’t he go see a counsellor and then begin bankruptcy procedures? He obviously cannot handle too much of these stresses anymore. There are professional people out there who can help with this. When it is all finished he will be debt free and ... (read in full...)

After he told me his plans for our future I am just dazed

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am white 25 year old Christian girl. My boyfriend is 31 year old Muslim man. I want to convert to Islam and plan to do so soon. I split with my ex-boyfriend (a university 5 year romance) just before I started dating my curren...

A.   2 February 2010: "His main fears are that his mother and friends would not accept me and would treat me cruelly as I am not from the same culture as them (even if I was to convert)." This will be the hardest part of the relationship. But at the end of the day ... (read in full...)

Why do I always end up just being 'the friend' when I want more than that?

Q.   Why am I one of those guys that women want to be friends with but nothing more? Of my ten closest friends, nine are female. They all say I would be a great catch. I have asked them, seriously, what I could do to make myself more appealing but ...

A.   1 February 2010: Mate what ever you do don't play the moron dumbass wanker bad boy. You will burn the bridges with your current girlfriends who will help you find more girls. Plus women have already figured that one out so just be more "mascline" ie don't where ... (read in full...)

Shy people..what kind of impression do they give off?

Q.   A simple question: What is your most lasting impression of a person who is shy and who does not get involved much in casual and impersonal social events? Say, you had a neighbor who was always nice, but never just came over and knocked on your door ...

A.   1 February 2010: My most lasting impression of someone who is thought to be shy is not really shy at all. some people simply have a much higher intelligence than most of the people around. Some think that in those social environments people just simply talk too much ... (read in full...)

He's my best friend so what are the signs he like me more?

Q.   how can girl tell her if her guy best friend likes her more? What are the signs? I mean he calls everyday, or texts when he can call! Knows my family, worked with my mother! Knows my close friends Said to a mutual friend that I will alway...

A.   1 February 2010: I think he already likes you. Why don't YOU ask him on a date? Times are changing for you ladies, you don't want to let it fly by and see him be with or even eventually marry someone else you know. If he says "I just wanna be friends" then at ... (read in full...)

She is 19, I am 16 and her boyfriend is threatened

Q.   I am 16, well a month away, and she just turned 19, she lives in another state and her boyfriend told her not to talk to me cause i guess he feels threatened. He told her to tell me to lose her number. But we had a conversation and she doesnt really ...

A.   1 February 2010: She's gonna 'miss' talking to you? she even already has it in her mind sooner or later you will be gone. She's just laying the sympathy factor on you. Maybe she's playing you? maybe to see her BF get revved up and she likes that heroic factor in ... (read in full...)

We decided to start anew and admit past cheating...I told him and now he's upset!

Q.   i been in a relationship with my boyfriend for six years and we met really young i cheated on him two years into the relationship and he found out and i just recently told him we were not very stable at the time i cheated on him and were together ...

A.   1 February 2010: This relationship began six years ago. It ended the moment one of you cheated. you've entered the vicious cycle of in and out of the cycle. it is'nt even a relationship anymore. it's just comfort because he's what you know best. I'd move on and a... (read in full...)

I'm in love with him...how do I tell him?

Q.   Hi- I have been struggling back and forth every day as to what to do about my situation. It's all I think about all the time and I need some answers. Heres the down low- I've been really good friends with this guy for about 3 or 4 years, ...

A.   1 February 2010: The best thing ive ever done was tell a lady straight out that I loved her. You already know he likes you back, its reciprocated and im sure if the moment is right under the summer stars you could simply say: 'I think im falling for you. I love y... (read in full...)

I want her back...how do I tell her this?

Q.   I dated a girl few years ago but we broke up shortly after. We've been friends since but I want to go out with her again. How do I tell her I want her back?...

A.   1 February 2010: Just ask her on a date and spend alone time with her, be nice, and the heart and time will do the rest.... (read in full...)

He mistreated me badly and I'm scared of him! How do I deal with this?

Q.   I've been with this guy for four years, we both are 19. A few days ago I was visiting him at college, and I accused him of cheating on me, because hes done it before, but he yelled at me and told me to get out of his house. He dragged me and pushed ...

A.   1 February 2010: Never speak to him ever again. Get all your stuff, don't say a thing and leave. But Let him know that if he comes near you, or tries to do it again you will report him to the police. Thats all you need to say. You may want to send that as a message ... (read in full...)

Why do I always end up just being 'the friend' when I want more than that?

Q.   Why am I one of those guys that women want to be friends with but nothing more? Of my ten closest friends, nine are female. They all say I would be a great catch. I have asked them, seriously, what I could do to make myself more appealing but ...

A.   31 January 2010: Women like a man that is physically appealing in the sporty sence add that to the mix of who you are and you'll have no problem. they will come to you. Don't worry about: bad boy/mr etiquette and seduction (nice guy) iys actually all marketin... (read in full...)

To move on or not when we have trust issues?

Q.   We are having trust issues because he decided to bring a girl home, got touchy feely with her and in his bed. Then he updates her with his new number after swearing he is not going to have anything to do with her again. I went through his phone ...

A.   31 January 2010: Tell him to pIss off. Then go get yourself a decent bloke who will treat you with respect. Save your dignity and move on. This relationship has no future. ... (read in full...)

He told me he's territorial and doesn't want me hanging out with other guys! What does he mean?

Q.   hey i gotta question whats it mean when my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't want me hanging with other guys or really talking to them.....he told me hes territorial...??...

A.   31 January 2010: Tells me he's a very insecure bloke who needs serious help. At least you had a heads up as he told you. So now you have a choice. No mOe friends and possible abuse and/or stresses in future when you do make male friends or say good bye arsehole. ... (read in full...)

Given his ex is on the scene should I even be considering marriage?

Q.   My fiance continues to talk with his ex. I believe it is her that initiates the contact. I've read his emails to find this out. She says things like, I miss you more than ever and I miss you so much I could puke. It has been 3 years since they hav...

A.   31 January 2010: He is obviously a man who is too weak to close the book on past relationships. I would not consider marriage untill you feel in your heart that you are one hundred percent sure he is the one for you and you trust him with your life. But he lied ... (read in full...)

He calls me names and he has stopped taking care of himself. Should I dump him?

Q.   My boyfriend calls me a bitch sometimes when he's mad. We've been together for 4 years now, but we just got back together at the end of October after I broke up with him for 3 months. One of the agreements for us to be a couple again was that he ...

A.   31 January 2010: I didn't read your whole post because of two things: 1. He calls you a bitch! 2. You already have broken up before. If you've broken up before, that's it, it's finished forever. Why? because the same thing is bound to happen again and you... (read in full...)

Met a great guy and didn't get his contact info...I need tips on how to be proactive in tracking him down.

Q.   I met a nice guy when I was out with my brother last night and I'd be really interested in meeting up with him again. The thing is, we lost track of time until my bro realised we had just 5 mins to get to the other side of town, so I had to rush off ...

A.   31 January 2010: That is so hot when a girl takes the initiative! Well done finally a bit of evolution. I'd just ask your bro about him and see if he can hook you guys up but sort of set it up where you and this guy you like meet at the same place then your bro... (read in full...)

Is love supposed to hurt?

Q.   I need some major advise i am so confused i wonder at times is love suppose to hurt? i have two daughters with two different men and the last man was almost perfect except for the fact that he didnt work..he was so nice understanding and romantic ...

A.   31 January 2010: No, true love never hurts nor does it allow torment. If he truly loved you he would not have done such a thing especially in front if people you know mutually. What he has done is humiliate you. Te question is why? My only guess is he either b... (read in full...)

I am afraid to tell him I want to spend as much time with him as possible incase I scare him away

Q.   So I had been talking to this guy through email over a period of three months, he would tell me about his journeys overseas and about himself and vice versa and we really connected and we even spoke on msn on christmas day. Each day I would wake up ...

A.   30 January 2010: The biggest mistake in this instance if that females expect the man to do all the moves. ie: waiting for him to call you. us men call because we are doing what our heart tells us to do ... My suggestion is to not listen to what your friends say and ... (read in full...)

We were dating, he was a sweetheart, we slept together and he went cold!

Q.   I was dating a guy for a little while, things were going great then all of a sudden he went really cold - the day after the first time we slept together. I questioned what was up and he said he didn't feel ready for a relationship...His ex of 9 ...

A.   30 January 2010: Yeah he's playing mind games. I'm sorry to hear. A nice guy would not do that for sure! I have the inclination that with his ex it was the otherway around it was her who cut contact with him and he layed the sympathy factor on you as a hook then ... (read in full...)

Am I being too fussy? People tell me at 27 I am leaving it too late to find someone and settle down

Q.   I had a serious relationship that ended 4 years ago (we were together 4 years). I could have married him had we met when I was a bit older, I wasn't ready to settle down then. He was no doubt my first love but we have remained friends and both are ...

A.   30 January 2010: Yes just wait for the right guy, but don't wait forever! although For me 20 to 30 was a good way to have fun and do all things I wanted to do that was both bad and good. 27 is a prime time in terms of your youth, physical appeal to the opposite sex ... (read in full...)

I am afraid to tell him I want to spend as much time with him as possible incase I scare him away

Q.   So I had been talking to this guy through email over a period of three months, he would tell me about his journeys overseas and about himself and vice versa and we really connected and we even spoke on msn on christmas day. Each day I would wake up ...

A.   29 January 2010: No, meeting him in real life will be almost like starting again. Because when you are speaking face to face there are so many other communication variables such as body language, including eye contact, mannerisms, body movement and speach and ... (read in full...)

I was on the phone with her a few hours ago and she said hold on one second and I said ok, I was on hold for 30 minutes before I hung up.

Q.   i am 14 and my girlfriend of 7 months in 16 our relationship is really good we go a lot of places and she is always laughing at my jokes and i laugh at most of hers but lately my girlfriend just disapears from time to time, i'll be texting her and ...

A.   29 January 2010: Lol, I do that when a telemarketer calls. No you won't know for sure if she's cheating on you yet. Bit does she call you or did you call her? How is her relationship at home? does her parents know about you? She was probably hiding the fact you... (read in full...)

I have 5 girlfriends and now it's a problem.

Q.   I've got five girlfriends and I honestly don't know what to do. Basically, I met a girl three years ago in college. We began a relationship, got serious, then she left for work in the USA. We're still together in the form of a long-distance ...

A.   29 January 2010: See. I told you. But I have a question. Have you ever been really hurt by a girl in the past? Or gave your heart to one and said you loved her? In the past?... (read in full...)

Why don't I trust my boyfriend? do I need help?

Q.   So, im 18 years old and i started not trusting my boyfriend and getting fishy ever since this: to make a long story short: he gave me his email account/password back in sept to check something. In Dec, i went on his account because i got fi...

A.   29 January 2010: Yes, relax. But do have a chat to him as a mature adult would. Just make sure your clear with the way you feel without exposing any weaknesses. You know I do wonder if he gave you his login details just so you'd go snooping around and see thos... (read in full...)

Why don't I trust my boyfriend? do I need help?

Q.   So, im 18 years old and i started not trusting my boyfriend and getting fishy ever since this: to make a long story short: he gave me his email account/password back in sept to check something. In Dec, i went on his account because i got fi...

A.   28 January 2010: Thats bull$#%&!, you want me to be honest? He kept them because he was having a wank over them. and she's trying to lure him in and away from you. But he's still with you okay. Yeah, this is one of the hard things you'll experience through ... (read in full...)

He's dating another girl but I like him, is there a chance we could be together?

Q.   okaii , so this year my brother who is one year younger than me signed up for hockey , and he's playing on the same team with guys my age. then one day i saw this one guy there that i had never seen before , he was really cute . :$ . so the next day ...

A.   28 January 2010: If you like him your best just to be friends. maybe one day if he breaks up then you might have a chance. but in the mean time, go out and find another one who is not taken and enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)

After he told me his plans for our future I am just dazed

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am white 25 year old Christian girl. My boyfriend is 31 year old Muslim man. I want to convert to Islam and plan to do so soon. I split with my ex-boyfriend (a university 5 year romance) just before I started dating my curren...

A.   28 January 2010: Firstly, be carfull about the conversion thing, no offence, but it seems to be a fashionable thing at the mo for muslim men/women to convert christian/other religion girls/boys then dump them. its happend to quite a few friends of mine. Anyway, its ... (read in full...)

I have 5 girlfriends and now it's a problem.

Q.   I've got five girlfriends and I honestly don't know what to do. Basically, I met a girl three years ago in college. We began a relationship, got serious, then she left for work in the USA. We're still together in the form of a long-distance ...

A.   28 January 2010: I've never met a bloke who can't fling off a woman who means absolutly nothing to him. I'm sorry mate but your not following your heart for if you truly were you'd be with the right one. Blokes more than women often get confused with emotiona... (read in full...)

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