I still want to be with her but she was my bestfriend's lover. What are my options?
Q. three months back my best friend introduced me to his galfriend,a few days from there we became friends with ma friend's galfriend.. Before i knew it we fell in love ,within days of the affair we got caught and i lost a friend,to make things wors...
A. 18 May 2013: If you really do love her and plan on staying with her and think that she is worth losing your best friend over, them cut your losses as far as he's concerned and focus on her, remembering the deceitful circumstances that began your relationship. ... (read in full...)
Should I take my nephew's advice and contact this man?
Q. 5 weeks ago my car was vandalised and a policeman came to my house to take a statement. This was a Wednesday. We started chatting and realised that we had lots and lots in common. I am 53 and he is 49, I am divorced and he has been separated f...
A. 17 May 2013: Hi again, I really don't think it's worth it. Writing and sending a quick email takes what, 1 minute? Meaning that he can only spare you one minute every 3 weeks. Is that really what you want? He is stringing you along. Don't try to analyse his b... (read in full...)
Should my best friend meet up with her (soon to be ex-) teacher?
Q. This is a question as to what would be the right or most sensible thing for me to do with regards to my best friend. We're in year 13 at our sixth form, so our last year before we go to university in October. Throughout the past two years, my friend ...
A. 16 May 2013: He won't be her teacher after next week BUT she is his student now and he is acting very unprofessionally, telling her he's finding it hard to be professional and he's already planning to meet her just as soon as she leaves school. That doesn't sit ... (read in full...)
I wasn't sure if he only wanted me for sex. Was I right to reject him?
Q. My friend at college had a huge dorm party last week and there was a lot of alcohol involved. Long story short, I had drunk quite a bit when one of her friends whom I didn't know hit on me. We ended up making out and kissing, but he was really ...
A. 14 May 2013: Quiet and geeky? The guy sounds like a pushy ass who can't handle rejection. You have every right to turn someone down and you do not have to agree to go out with anyone just because he sulks.
I would completely ignore this guy. You may have fri... (read in full...)
My FWB is sick of me and called me a whore! Did I do anything wrong to deserve to be treated this way?
Q. Dear Cupid I am in on and off FWB with my best friend. I fell in love with him but he says he likes me but no love word. Long story short, he bacame very abusive (physically and emotionally) lately. I couldnt even hold a decent conversation ...
A. 14 May 2013: No, you don't deserve for him to say those things to you, but FWB is basically just an arrangement that allows people to use each other. Maybe he's tired of being used, maybe he senses that you have become too emotionally attached to him and feels ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend runs hot and cold.....is he a narcissist?
Q. Well my bf this notorious habit of being extra vigil about his phone and email and need lots of female attention too. He runs hot and cold and I am rarely sure what he is thinking now . I first thought its me and I have some jealousy issues....
A. 14 May 2013: He could be a narcissist but honestly it's not a good idea to use the internet to try to diagnose him. Only a trained professional can really do that.
He doesn't sound like a very nice guy though, and if any part of you is in doubt, which is... (read in full...)
I am really mad at how he ended our relationship!
Q. Just realized that my boyfriend dumped me over Facebook! How immature and obnoxious is that? We are talking about a 28 year old guy here! We were on a break, and as everyone, I expected him to contact me in order to know if we would stay toget...
A. 14 May 2013: I don't really get how that translates as breaking up with you but then I don't use Facebook to tell people how I feel or what our status is. Why can't people communicate about important things by phone or face to face? I really think that Facebook ... (read in full...)
He wants me to wear lingere but I don't think it suits me
Q. I’m not really sure how to begin but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, he’s 26 almost 27 and I’m 23. We were really close friends for probably 3 years before we started dating. So my boyfriend and I have been having… I wouldn’t call it a fight ...
A. 14 May 2013: I suspect he's getting bored. If the sex is always the same then it will eventually get stale. I'm not saying you should be someone you're not, or that boring sex should give someone a green card to cheat, but you do risk losing him this way. ... (read in full...)
Sister and husband had an affair, and I am expected to act all happy at family gatherings!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'd married my first love for more than 10 years. we have one college daughter. Few years ago, I found out he cheated with my younger sister. I filed for a divorce, but never left our house beacause he was begging, crying ...
A. 13 May 2013: I don't think you should continue this marriage. Can you ever be ok with this? Especially if you say he still seeks your sister out at family gatherings. I know that I personally could never get over something like that. I could never be fine with ... (read in full...)
The guy I like has been acting all tough around me ever since I told him, instead of the sweet guy I love
Q. Hi, i like this boy, and he recently told me he likes me back. Im 13, and neither of us can date yet. Now he is acting all tough and a little pervy around me, instead of the sweet, smart, sensitive, funny, wimpy nerd i fell in like with. What do i ...
A. 13 May 2013: Maybe he IS being himself, and the sweet, nerdy guy you thought you knew was just an act. If you don't like this "new" him then maybe it's better to just forget about him. ... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of guys like easy girls? Will my boyfriend cheat on me?
Q. Why do a lot of guys like and go for really easy and slutty women? The reason I ask this is because even though I'm a woman myself, I've had bad experiences with these types of women. The current situation I'm in is really annoying me. Ther...
A. 12 May 2013: They "like" her because she's slutty and easy. Except they don't actually like or respect her.
Your fears are not necessarily justified but they are very understandable. Tell your boyfriend what happened with your previous relationship. If he ha... (read in full...)
I'm aware I don't love him, but I wonder if I'm being abused
Q. I am 22. My boyfriend is 39. Let's call him J. We've been dating for four months now. We just had our first fight. I slapped J's face as a joke and then he smacked my ass. Yes, I know that sounds funny and I probably shouldn't take it seriously but ...
A. 11 May 2013: You're not going to end your relationship just because we all think you should? Great, but this is quite a strange post on the whole OP. You ask for advice, which you don't like. You say you don't love your boyfriend and are considering breaking up ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend of two months be cheating on me?
Q. I'm in a relationship for 2 months only, the beginning was amazing but last 2 weeks i feel like my boyfriend got bored from me or he found someone else .. i bought him a new phone and he began to know everything about instagram and other ...
A. 11 May 2013: I don't quite understand. He sends you messages telling you someone else has cheated on him? Someone he's with now? Maybe I misunderstood that bit. Why would you buy a phone for someone you had been together with for less than two months? If he ca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's drink was spiked and the woman he woke up with now says she is pregnant!
Q. Help me, please. My boyfriend of a year just told me that about a month ago, he went to this girl's house to help her with her abusive ex. He didn't have a way home, so he sat down and she asked him if he wanted anything to drink. I guess it was ...
A. 11 May 2013: His story is highly implausible and I'm surprised that you seem to have blindly accepted it and aren't suspicious. I doubt his drink was spiked. More likely is that he went to her house, maybe got a little bit drunk, slept with her (willingly), woke ... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex. Should I ask if everything is ok with her cycle?
Q. okay, awkward subject: I've been dating a girl I really like for the past 5 months. We've been having sex on the regular basically every time we see each other. Only thing though, last month (the 25th specifically) she was on her per...
A. 10 May 2013: OP you don't need to "tactfully mention" the need to be more careful. In this case it's better to just be very straightforward and honest. Tell her how worried you are and that together you have to make sure that you are careful every time. That ... (read in full...)
Is my B/f still not over his ex? And is she the reason why he wants to go for the party?
Q. My boyfriend of 8mths who I live with, has been asked to go to a 30th birthday party. He asked me to go with him, and I said yes. It was a Facebook group invite and I have since seen that his ex (who broke his heart ) is invited. He has been ...
A. 10 May 2013: It's also possible that he wants to show her what she lost. I haven't seen any of my exes since things ended but I know that if I had an opportunity to see them I would, not because I'm not over them but because I AM over them.
... (read in full...)
My friends were pushing me so they could upset me and it worked.....was it really a joke?
Q. I had two friends. Il call them friend A and B. We have been friends for 5years since grade 7 (now in grade11). Well, we had conflicts here and there but they never lasted this long. Unfortunately, something unexpected happened the day before ...
A. 9 May 2013: Some friendly ribbing is fine but they were ganging up on you and being horrible. They are bullies and friend A doesn't sound fun or understanding, she sounds like a total bitch. In a way, the person who stands by and watches or eggs someone else on ... (read in full...)
When is the right time to sleep with a guy after you have started going on dates?
Q. Hello Aunts, I have a question that I feel I haven't been able to find an answer to because every way I try it I seem to be wrong: When is the right time to sleep with a guy after you have started going on dates. I used to start the physi...
A. 9 May 2013: It's not necessarily to do with having sex early, there could be any number of reasons why things aren't working out for you, but it does often happen that things fizzle out quickly if you have sex early on. The second date is very early, but so i... (read in full...)
I feel guilty because he has a girlfriend, but I kinda want to make out with him again
Q. I had a party last weekend and I made out with a guy who has a girlfriend. we've been friends for years, he's had a crush on me for most of them years. I told him to stop because he was drunk and had a girlfriend and he replied: 'i'm not drunk and I ...
A. 9 May 2013: Ask yourself, why do you want to sneak around with this guy who is taken when you've had ample opportunity over the years to go out with him? That's not the behaviour of someone whose moral compass is pointing north. I think it makes you feel good ... (read in full...)
He's asked me to be more aggressive during sex. Suggestions?
Q. So, my boyfriend has been asking me to be aggressive with him while we're having sex. His most recent request "I seriously want you to rape me sometime. Force me to do stuff like that, hit me, scratch me, bite me, punish me. Call me names. Pee on ...
A. 8 May 2013: OK, but do you want to do it because it's a fantasy of yours or because you think he'll like you better if you do it. You should only agree to do things that you yourself feel comfortable with. Have a word with yourself about this. Don't just go ... (read in full...)
What will my ex think of me sending her 2 birthday presents?
Q. My long distance girlfriend and i recently broke up a week ago and did not talk or text for the last week. We have recently began casual texting again and I feel like I don't want to lose our connection because she is still very special to me. Its ...
A. 8 May 2013: It all sounded nice right up to "My gut tells me she'll love the thought and think about how special I am to her." That tells me your main motivation for sending her the presents is that you think she'll want to get back together with you.
Send ... (read in full...)
Is it really just that I have terrible luck and that every time we make major plans she has some other important thing come up in her life?
Q. am I overreacting and being unnecessarily suspicious or do I have actual reason to worry here? my gf and I have gone out for 3 years. we're in college together. over the time we've been together, things have been great. we have minor arguments ...
A. 8 May 2013: The Christmas and Valentine's Day and a couple of other excuses are valid, but it's the fact that it happens all the time. A couple of times would have been understandable, but if you haven't spent time together in months, that's ridiculous. She ... (read in full...)
How can I have clean fun at work when my husband works there too?
Q. Help!!!! I work in the same department as my husband and we have been married for three years. However I find one particular man at work very attractive and sweet. He is young and I am so sexulay attracted to him. We talk and work together but I ...
A. 8 May 2013: When you say clean fun, what do you mean exactly? You want to flirt with this other guy or you want something else to happen? I would let go of the whole idea if I were you. It would be very disrespectful to your husband to flirt with another guy... (read in full...)
They've been acting odd ever since we came back from our holiday and asked them to move their car from our drive!
Q. I'm in an awkward situation with my neighbours and need advice... My husband and I live in an area whereby none of the houses have a garage and there is only 1 car space in the drives. There is an alternate parking area which is 10 minutes wa...
A. 8 May 2013: I would just stop texting them to tell them they can use your driveway. Let them see your empty driveway and wonder if you've just gone out for the evening or for several days. They were clearly in the wrong and were rude about it. And holding a ... (read in full...)
I'm aware I don't love him, but I wonder if I'm being abused
Q. I am 22. My boyfriend is 39. Let's call him J. We've been dating for four months now. We just had our first fight. I slapped J's face as a joke and then he smacked my ass. Yes, I know that sounds funny and I probably shouldn't take it seriously but ...
A. 8 May 2013: A lot of people on this site give really good advice but it's up to the OP to use that advice. You might think that slapping a guy is funny and cute but to most people it's annoying and immature. Also, if you slap him a lot, that's likely to signal ... (read in full...)
I just want to know which method is highly risky or if both methods are equally risky? help me
Q. Dear friend, I had unprotected sex with a guy but he ddnt ejaculate a week later I had protected sex with a different guy. I jus want to know how safe are condoms compared to non ejaculation? Nine months is far for me to get a partenity test a...
A. 6 May 2013: Condoms are way safer. That's why sex with a condom is called safe sex. You should be worried about STDs, too, not just pregnancy. ... (read in full...)
LDR and first time bad sex. Do I want to continue?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. We've been together 3 year. He's so amazing and Im very much in love with him. Due to the distance we were finally able to have sex recently. I was a virgin and he wasn't. It was horrible. Even though I'd never ...
A. 6 May 2013: OK so you've found someone who's bad in bed, but you can work on this. The first thing is that you should insist on him using a condom. INSIST. If he gives any kind of excuse for not being able to wear one, then you don't have sex. No sex is worth ... (read in full...)
We'e only seen each other once and when I talk about seeing each other he gets mad!
Q. A year ago I met my boyfriend through my friend who lives in Texas. I have only met him once. Every time we talk he says he loves me and misses me and he can't wait till he gets to see me again but every time I bring up him visiting me up here or me ...
A. 5 May 2013: Let me get this straight - you have been together for one year and you've only met once. I'm sorry but that isn't a relationship, it's a fantasy. How can you know someone if you never see them? He's stringing you along and you should ditch him asap.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont be nice to me!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf hasnt said once nice word to me in the past 5 months. He is verbally very abusive, always belittles me, never calls me, if i get lucky he might pick up my calls once in 2 days may be and that call might not last more than 10 min...
A. 5 May 2013: Sorry, I think that I misunderstood your original question a bit, it sort of sounded like you were stalking him. I apologise.
OK, so you have a history with him and it's natural that you would want to speak to him, but I still stand by most of ... (read in full...)
He wants anal but it hurts, and he says I'll get used to it!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we have tried anal sex in the past but I find it painful at times and other times it’s alright. My issue is he won’t stop asking me for anal sex even after I've had some tearing as a result ...
A. 5 May 2013: Your boyfriend is the selfish one. You've tried it several times, so he's already got more than a lot of women would ever have agreed to. You find it painful and it's caused you injury and you're afraid to do it again and STILL he keeps badgering ... (read in full...)
What to do now, do I say something else to him? I feel lost and crushed by his lies and his games
Q. I am going to try to make this as short as possible by giving enough info but it's a long story. any advice is welcomed. refrain from judgement and ill comments please. My fiance and I got into an argument one day. very stupid argument and...
A. 5 May 2013: None of this is your fault. If he had truly loved you, he would have spent the months when you were keeping him out of your life (with VERY good reason, by the way) working on himself and making himself a better person and a better father. Instead ... (read in full...)
Disagreement about parenting styles is threatening to end our relationship. How should I approach this?
Q. I can't even think straight right now. My relationship with my boyfriend of nearly three years, who I love more than anything in the whole world, is on the brink of collapse. This is partially my fault, because I never brought it up before, an...
A. 5 May 2013: If this is a deal-breaker for both of you then you shouldn't raise children together. If you are planning to have children in the near future, then this is a big deal. I understand both sides of the argument but essentially I am against any kind of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont be nice to me!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf hasnt said once nice word to me in the past 5 months. He is verbally very abusive, always belittles me, never calls me, if i get lucky he might pick up my calls once in 2 days may be and that call might not last more than 10 min...
A. 5 May 2013: From what I understand, you call him every day and write him emails and text messages. He doesn't reply to these and he only picks up the phone sometimes and when he does, he verbally abuses you. I'm sorry to be harsh, but it's no wonder. I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Would being involved with his friend's mother make him uncomfortable?
Q. I fell for a guy who is 34 and i am 45,however he is my son's friend . He has not denied his attraction for me ,at first he thought I was his friend's sister :)I really like him a lot,we spoke and we have so much in common i have never met anyone i...
A. 5 May 2013: Nothing you can do, I'm afraid. He probably (and understandably) feels uncomfortable with it.
Imagine if you did get together. Even if your son says he's "cool with it", it would completely shift the dynamics of their friendship. The friend w... (read in full...)
The relationship was great when it was long distance, and completely fell apart when we lived together
Q. Dear Cupid My relationship with my bf was perfect when i was staying in different city (away from him) for work. I came back 4 months back and thats when all the troubles started. 1. He wont even talk to me for days, we stay together but no tal...
A. 4 May 2013: You've found out the hard way that people aren't always who you think they are. He was good to you when you were just friends, "perfect" when you were together but apart, and now that you're together properly (which is what most couples aspire to be ... (read in full...)
I don't want to do it but I don't want to lose him!
Q. I have been In a great relationship with my boyfriend for the past two years. But now wants to spice up our sex life with anal intercourse. I cant stand it and I told him that. He just told me get lubed up and ready for action or else. What do I ...
A. 4 May 2013: If he gives you an ultimatum, i.e. anal sex or the relationship ends, then you should end the relationship. Do not ever give in to ultimatums.
He is asking you to do something that you don't want to do and that would cause you pain. Some people l... (read in full...)
My man pushes me to be bisexual!
Q. hello , i would like to share my relationship problem , because its making me suffer long long time.I was married unhappily (fighting and prisoned in a house)and had 2 children . i met this man in internet and we were chatting everyday for a long ...
A. 3 May 2013: This sounds a lot like my ex. He used to do the same thing and I said no time and again and he just carried on pestering me and it was such a turn-off. This man is trying to control you and get you to live out his fantasy. He doesn't care tha... (read in full...)
Co-worker will not stop asking me out even after saying no several times... what should I do?
Q. There is this guy I work with who has been showing interest in me for over a year. He is older than me by 10 or so years, but he is in a position below me. Several times he has told me that he is attracted to me, that he cares for me, and that he ...
A. 3 May 2013: You have just given him excuses so far, which are likely to make him think that if he hangs around a bit longer and tries just a little bit harder, things will go his way. I understand your feelings because it's very uncomfortable and turning a ... (read in full...)
How to approach girl. Will I have to make a random approach on Facebook or is there a better way?
Q. Hey everyone, So a while ago I saw a photo from a female friend of mine on Facebook which was with her and this really attractive girl. Didn't think much of it. Turns out I saw her on the bus going home a few days ago, I couldn't approach he...
A. 2 May 2013: A random Facebook add IS a bit lame and she might just find it weird. I never accept friendship requests from people I don't know, even if we have friends in common. Asking your friend, who you know has feelings for you, to introduce you would be ... (read in full...)
We are keeping things casual so how do I broach the subject of being exclusive without scaring him off or appearing needy?
Q. Hi everyone I think I'm being paranoid about this but just wanted a bit of advice. I've been seeing this guy for the last 2 or 3 months but neither of us want anything serious so we 're just keeping things casual and not telling any of our friends. ...
A. 2 May 2013: I don't think you're being honest with yourself when you say you don't want a serious relationship. Are you going along with it because that's what he wants and you don't want to lose him?
If you are just seeing each other casually then you have... (read in full...)
How do I ask him in a nonchalant way what he expects from our next date?
Q. I have been on 3 dates with this guy and things are going smooth,he suggested our next date should be at his 'apartment'..we haven't had sex or made out yet we r just in 'getting to know each other' phase..he sent me a text earlier today saying 'so ...
A. 1 May 2013: He wants sex, end of. He will try it on and you'll have to say no and things may be awkward and uncomfortable after that. If you've been on some nice dates on public then tell him you're enjoying yourself and would like to carry on dating him. In ... (read in full...)
Should I take my nephew's advice and contact this man?
Q. 5 weeks ago my car was vandalised and a policeman came to my house to take a statement. This was a Wednesday. We started chatting and realised that we had lots and lots in common. I am 53 and he is 49, I am divorced and he has been separated f...
A. 28 April 2013: I don't know. I would be wary. He had no problem hanging out at your house for several hours, chatting you up while he was working, so I don't know if it's about professionalism. And dropping a DVD off at someone's house is hardly crossing a line if ... (read in full...)
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