Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 17 June 2013: You stay to make a person who's hurt you happy, because you can't stand hurting him. That's heartbreaking to hear.
This is exactly how I used to be. I let people walk all over me because I was concerned about their feelings. I didn't want to ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 12 June 2013: Most women haven't had an abortion, but there are many who have. I know a few women who have had one, the first back in the 70s and the last I think about four years ago. While I haven't spoken to all of them at length about how they feel now, they ... (read in full...)
Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 11 June 2013: He cheats on you with your best mate then wants you to be open and vulnerable? She thinks it's OK to have a thing for her best friend's husband and to act on it? You don't owe your friend anything. You don't have to pretend that she is still you... (read in full...)
Is it charming or tacky to give daily Online updates about your relationship?
Q. OK, so my friend and I got into a argument today. He started dating this girl, a real looker. I'm subscribed to his facebook and in the past two months it's like every post is about her. Her photo, stuff she said, places they went. He's my bu...
A. 10 June 2013: Facebook is great for making you feel rubbish about the things you don't have. I know how you feel but you have to remember that he's not trying to rub your nose in it. He just can't relate to how you and your other friends feel right now because ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get over this frightening experience? My parents still haven't yelled at me! Is this normal? Should I have cried?
Q. Friday I was in a wreck. I was going to surprise a friend. I was driving and my best girl friend was in the passenger seat. I wasn't using electronics, that was her job. We were about 2 hours from home and 20 minutes from the play. I t-boned ...
A. 10 June 2013: Your parents probably got a horrible shock, too, and are just relieved that you're alive. It sounds like it was the other driver's fault, so it wouldn't do anyone any good for your parents to shout at you. Maybe you want them to because you're in ... (read in full...)
Help me deal with my longing for my absent girlfriend
Q. Hi, I'm currently in a really happy relationship but my girlfriend has gone away for a couple of months and I can't cope. I have been seeing her a couple of months but we practically live together and we are pretty much the same person in d...
A. 10 June 2013: "I have been seeing her a couple of months but we practically live together and we are pretty much the same person in different bodies."
This is somewhat unhealthy, not because it's bad to have a close relationship but because she seems to have ... (read in full...)
Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 10 June 2013: Never stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of your children. You will not be doing them a favour. They will grow up to think that being unhappy and feeling trapped and disgusted by your spouse is normal, and that cheating is acceptable and ... (read in full...)
Why would someone cheat so much on their boyfriend...and should I let my friend know what's going on?
Q. Hi, my good friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with several different men. I know it's not my business but I know the guys and since I talk to them often they've eventually told me about this girl. I've seen her myself kiss other guys and o...
A. 10 June 2013: I would tell him, but be prepared that you might lose his friendship. People are not always happy and grateful if you tell them things like this. If you don't say anything and he finds out you know, you could also easily stand to lose the friendship ... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 10 June 2013: His behaviour tells you everything you will ever need to know about him. I'm sorry for you because it sounds like things were going well and this came out of the blue. Perhaps there was some hint, some tiny doubt among the way that you ignored? ... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 10 June 2013: The guy is a slimy, poisonous snake. He was lying to you. I'm wiling to bet a ridiculous sum of money that that was not the first time he cheated. And now he won't leave his wife, and he won't have an affair, but he'll give you oral whenever you ... (read in full...)
Date didn't even call or text to say he wasn't coming for our date!
Q. Me and a guy suppose to be going to the movies but he didn't come pick me up from my house, he told me he would come and we already made plans, I'm already dressed waiting for him but he didn't show up... He didn't even text me or call to tell me he ...
A. 9 June 2013: Unless there was a genuine emergency of the type where he is, say, in a coma, his behaviour is unforgivable. If he did just stand you up then you should never see or talk to him again. ... (read in full...)
A gorgeous guy appears interested in me but I lack confidence in myself!
Q. Hi everyone! How shall I begin? Well, the purpose of me writing is to gather other people's thoughts and advice on this situation that I'm currently in because I don't know what to think of it. I would also like to clarify that I would like to re...
A. 8 June 2013: The fact that he is constantly surrounded by other male models could be a reason he wants to spend more time with you. He works in an extremely shallow, competitive, image-obsessed world and you are someone who is real. Try to spend some time with ... (read in full...)
Is it just time to walk away?
Q. Right, i have a boyfriend who i've been with for 6 months and we argue constantly. he does mean everything to me and i dont know what i'd do without him. recently, we've been arguing more than usual. we're on the verge of splitting up but i don't ...
A. 8 June 2013: If you're arguing and feeling like crap after just six months it's time to walk. As long as you stay with someone who makes you unhappy (regardless of how much you love that person) you are potentially keeping yourself from meeting someone who would ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to tell his kids that I'm not there to pay their way?
Q. Ok, I have posted about my LDR before and this is kind of a follow up and a question. As I have said before about me not being invited to his house and being the one that is out all the money on dates and weekend trips to visit and I was worried ...
A. 8 June 2013: Wow, OK, you need to kick this cheapskate to the curb right now. He is taking advantage of you. Him not bringing money and bringing his kids was no accident. He knew that you would feel sorry for then having nothing and pay for them. Stop paying for ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy back to his warm usual self?
Q. Hi, need help understanding the male psychology a bit please. There is a guy I met at the pub (35), he was going through divorce and my case is the same. We connected, in his words he was very intrigued by my story and he found me very attractive. ...
A. 8 June 2013: "when I said you don't reply to messages so I've stopped because its a monologue and he said I just don't like being slave to my phone; you think too much...do you suppose he's not all that bad?" Why would you accept this as an explanation? Thi... (read in full...)
I don't want to steal my teacher away from his wife but I do want a kiss from him!
Q. Hello everyone. I am in very difficult situation. When I was in 9 grade I felt something for my science teacher,the problem is that he is more older than me, he is over 50, I was 15 y.o. At first I didn't understand what is happening with me, I ...
A. 8 June 2013: Stop being so selfish. He's married. It's none of your business what goes on between him and his wife. His behaviour sounds pretty inappropriate, too. You'd do well to just stay away from this man who is old enough to be your grandfather.... (read in full...)
Do I plan a surprise visit for a 7000km long distance relationship for a few weeks?! HELP!
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We have been going out for a year and a half and he's in the uk due to an injury and I am in Canada for Uni. I have summer break from uni for 3 weeks in august. I just came b...
A. 7 June 2013: I think it's a really sweet idea and a surprise sounds great in theory but has a lot of potential to go wrong. If you lived a couple of hours apart I'd say by all means, go ahead, but this is an expensive transatlantic journey you're talking about. ... (read in full...)
He's controlling. He says no more sex until I get a job. Is it wrong for him to give me ultimatums for not having a job?
Q. Ive been dating a older man for almost 3 years now. im 21 and he's 44. Get ready i could tell stories all day of all the s^^t iv'e been thru with and because him. I love him very much still but not as in love with him as i was before. im s...
A. 6 June 2013: A non-controlling guy wouldn't try to stop you from doing things in the first place. This is not a good relationship. There's a lot of drama and your sister was right when she said he was a creep. Get away from him and live your life the way you ... (read in full...)
Is it healthy to have a relationship with violence in it?
Q. dear cupids my boyfriend of 11 month have a bad habit of hitting me gently on the face, it doesn't hurt but it does bother me, i have told him so, and always ask him to stop it. he stops it for a while and then do it again! today i acted violent an...
A. 6 June 2013: Be more specific. What counts as "gently hitting" someone? When does he do it? Is it a punishment? Look, this doesn't sound good at all. You've asked him to stop and he hasn't. Let that be a warning to you. Whose idea was it for him to be violen... (read in full...)
Is it a bad thing to want to make my boyfriend jealous?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm dating this guy for a month now, and I know I shouldn't be playing games but I like to make him jealouss with other men,like I make sure he knows of the men that flirt with me,or the men that have asked me out and I said no cuz I...
A. 5 June 2013: Why would you want to make someone you supposedly care about feel an emotion as awful as jealousy? It's one of the most horrible feelings I can imagine. Do you like feeling jealousy? Would you think it was OK if he did things to deliberately make ... (read in full...)
My room mate is too noisy having fun! What should I do?
Q. I recently got a new room-mate. He's great so far, cleans up after himself, cleans the floor, easy to talk to. Then his girlfriend.. or as he said it "this friend who he used to date" comes over to stay a few days. And they're going at it like ...
A. 5 June 2013: If he is easy to talk to and considerate in general, and if this is the first thing he's done then you should be able to say something without it ruining the harmony. It's in his own interest to keep it down, as most people would prefer for other ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 5 June 2013: I'm sorry for you. You're in a very difficult situation and the pressure of time doesn't help. This is probably the hardest decision you'll ever make and you need to make it fast. If you keep this child, you will struggle financially. You... (read in full...)
Cybercheating, is it okay? Should I only wait to dump him til he actually does it in person?
Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year. And I oddly have a strange attachment towards him. We mostly are always together unless we know it’s a type of situation that we shouldn’t go together. We have a lot of similar friends and live ...
A. 5 June 2013: I like Tisha's comment that he deserves to be dumped just for the fact that he uses Craigslist. Quite frankly the guy sounds pathetic. I don't even feel like I need to go into the reasons why. Just reread your post and get rid asap. He'll cry, but ... (read in full...)
Too complicated? The guy I like has a girlfriend who is pregnant by another guy! What do I do?
Q. Hello. Well i really don't know what to do.I really like this guy (talked to him a few times and he so sweet) but recently found out be has a gf. However a friend told me she is preggo with another guys baby. The baby daddy is not responding. At the ...
A. 4 June 2013: Goodness, this is way too much drama and there are already too many people involved. You'd do well to stay far far away. The guy having a girlfriend should be enough to push him off your romantic radar, never mind all this other stuff. Let him deal ... (read in full...)
So my problem is my husband says I must convince her to move back. Or he is divorcing me!
Q. My problems with my 25 year old step-daughter have once again reared their ugly head. She moved in with us about a year ago and it was very difficult living with her. I wanted to sit down before she moved in and discuss, like 3 grown roommates, how ...
A. 4 June 2013: i absolutely agree with you. An adult "child" should definitely pay rent and help around the house, respect rules and do his/her best to contribute to a harmonious environment. I had an accident a few years ago which resulted in multiple fractur... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells his friends and family everything...we have no privacy!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year. We are very happy but seem to disagree on matters of privacy in our relationship. For instance, when we first had sex, he told a lot of his friends. I didn't think much of that, and okayed that ...
A. 4 June 2013: I can understand your feelings on this. I would be furious in your shoes. And it's not like he doesn't know how you feel. You've made it very clear that you don't like him talking about private things to people, he knows exactly the kinds of things ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about my older sister? Or is it too soon?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now,we are exclusive and it was love for him from the very start and he has expressed quite a number of times both thru words and actions how he feels for me,I haven't told him those three 'magic words' ...
A. 3 June 2013: Why would you tell a stranger about something private that's none of your business, let alone his? Because after one month that's what he is - a stranger. You are entitled to have an opinion on what your sister did but I don't think you're entitled ... (read in full...)
She's not talking to me since I called her out for seeing a married man! I did it because it was unfair for her to put me on 'hold'!
Q. A girl that i like and i thought she liked me are not talking right now over a silly argument. It turns out the argument was an excuse to put me on "punishment" because i found out she is seeing a married man with a child. the child and wife don...
A. 3 June 2013: Why shouldn't you call a girl out on something if you know or think it's wrong? Are you saying girls should be allowed to get away with lying and cheating and walking all over people? No way. She is a cheat. Even if she is not the married one,... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 3 June 2013: What Cerberus said. I don't think it's rude to ask. I've got lots of scars from various operations and accidents and one from being kicked so hard by a horse that I still have a dent in my leg almost 20 years later, and people often ask where they ... (read in full...)
We don't have enough time for me to reach orgasm. What can I do?
Q. dear cupids, my boy friend of one year doesn't have the enough time to give me orgasm, we have sex at his parents house, and they rarely leave now, so when they are out we have a quick one where he reaches orgasm and i am stocked wanting more but...
A. 3 June 2013: Have you actually told him that you feel upset that it's all about him and you never get anything out of it? If you never say anything he is going to think that you're enjoying it as much as he is, which is great for him because he doesn't have to ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like my boyfriend was molested by his dad?
Q. I think my boyfriend was molested as a child. The even crazier thing is I suspect it was by his own parents. The first time I thought something was weird was because he told me he knew about sexual acts at a very pre mature age. He said when he was ...
A. 3 June 2013: None of that stuff has to mean anything. Kids are fascinated by their genitalia and they are also fascinated with putting things in holes. I don't think they need to be taught/shown that. I'm pretty sure my parents never taught my sister to put ... (read in full...)
My husband spent the night at his "friend's" place when he said he'd be playing pool
Q. I've been with my BF for 3 years this upcoming month. Together, we've been quite anti-social over the course of our relationship save for a couple of friends. Recently, he's been speaking to a new girl in the town we've just moved too. Now, ...
A. 3 June 2013: This girl is not the problem, the relationship is. He may or may not be cheating on you, but you know that he's lying to you, and you have crossed a different line by snooping in his private stuff. There is no honesty or trust in your relationship. ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy back to his warm usual self?
Q. Hi, need help understanding the male psychology a bit please. There is a guy I met at the pub (35), he was going through divorce and my case is the same. We connected, in his words he was very intrigued by my story and he found me very attractive. ...
A. 2 June 2013: You slept with him so soon that you don't actually know him. His "warm usual self" was most likely him turning on the charm so that you would sleep with him. Often when a woman sleeps with a man early on, he takes off, she is left hurt and ev... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 2 June 2013: Though I understand your hurt, I think you may be overreacting somewhat. It's MOTHER's Day, not Valentine's Day. If, when your kids are older, they don't get you anything, then maybe you can be disappointed with them, but why does your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 1 June 2013: "I will let u guys know that he is a lovely man, very thoughtful, respectful, loving, loyal and a gentleman"
Meanwhile, he is asking for advice about his "narcissistic lunatic" girlfriend. This whole thing is really weird. ... (read in full...)
Is being called the other half a good thing?
Q. Is it a good thing if boyfriend refers to you as the other half when he talks to others about plans?...
A. 31 May 2013: I personally despise the expression, as if you are not a complete person, or your own person, when you're in a relationship. But I guess your question is what it means in terms of your relationship, in which case "other half" is his way of saying ... (read in full...)
My remarks were intended to build her up but she's told me they were inappropriate
Q. I'll try to make this fairly quick. I've always been the kind of guy who's really tactful and good with words. I've always prided myself on knowing what to say and having good social skills. But lately, my girlfriend has been making me feel pretty ...
A. 30 May 2013: You sound like a sensitive and caring person and most girls would appreciate your words - in fact, they would expect you to say something like that. You have to remember, however, that eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia are serious mental ... (read in full...)
Suspicious email to husband--he denies he's signed up. Can I believe him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem. I just got married. I h ave been with my man for a long time. I was looking through his emails and came acroos a email from XXXXbook [mod note: actual site name removed, it is not facebook]. I wouldve just deleted ...
A. 30 May 2013: Two things: 1) The chances of a website sending an unsolicited email with your username and password (that you use for everything else) are extremely slim. I am no expert in computers or hacking or spam or anything like that but this has NEVER E... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to be a bit upset that my freshly-out gay friend will never feel for me what I feel for him?
Q. I've always considered myself pan-sexual. I only fall for special people, regardless of gender. I can only fall for personality and not sex, and never people I haven't known for a while. I have a really good friend, whom I've been infatuated with ...
A. 29 May 2013: You're not being selfish at all. You're sad because someone you like doesn't feel the same way about you and you have every right to be upset, regardless of circumstances. You sound like you're handling things just fine.
As for telling him, I d... (read in full...)
Fiance had feelings for old school friend, how should I have handled this
Q. I am a 23 year old woman, and am about to get married to my fiance, but I have an issue. He has some feelings for a girl he used to go to school with, and I let my insecurity get the better of me and caused this girl a situation where I humiliated ...
A. 29 May 2013: I'm not sure I quite understand what it was you did to this girl but I'm guessing you accused her in front of a lot of people of going after your fiancé. In any case, if they have friends in common then this WILL come out sooner or later. Even the ... (read in full...)
Do girls share everything with their friends?
Q. I like this girl lets call her a. So in school a also responded me well.it was well obvious we both liked each other. We chat on facebook. And now i came 2 know.. Whenevr i used to chat with her,she used to share that with other freinds. Does gir...
A. 29 May 2013: A lot of girls do talk to their friends about guys. It's not just gossip, though, it's often because they feel insecure and want their friends to help analyse things for them. A long as she's not revealing anything private or intimate you've shared ... (read in full...)
He asked me for a FWB relationship and I don't know how to proceed from here
Q. I have a guy friend, let's call him A, whom I've known for around an year. He's nice, funny, very intelligent, respectful - basically, he's a nice catch. A month ago I started hanging out with him and a bunch of friends, all male - I'm the only f...
A. 28 May 2013: Ask yourself this question and answer honestly: If he had written to you and told you that he had strong feelings for you and wanted to be with you, would you have turned him down and said that you were actually only interested in sex? I strongl... (read in full...)
I'm unable to see my friends as more than friends.
Q. Is it possible to not be able to bypass the stage of friendship with pretty much all your friends? I know some people can become lovers after friendship, especially after a long one, but I can never seem to find myself more attracted to someone who ...
A. 28 May 2013: I'm exactly the same. I don't think that makes us abnormal. Some people are attracted to their friends of the opposite sex, others are not. I never am. It doesn't mean I'd rule it out if I made friends with someone and developed feelings for him, it ... (read in full...)
I am a fake person online and I don't know how to come clean
Q. I am a fake person online. I fell in love with an Airforce man. I don't know how to tell him, cause I know he won't love me, after he sees the real me. I am trying my best to figure out a way to tell him, I don't know how and I don't want him to ...
A. 27 May 2013: The good news is that what you're feeling isn't real love. It's an infatuation, an obsession, whatever you like to call it. You don't know him, you are in love with a fantasy. It doesn't make it hurt any less if/when things end, but the pain will ... (read in full...)
| *ot Issues's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ot Issues has
added them and they have added *ot Issues!
|
