Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 17 June 2013: You stay to make a person who's hurt you happy, because you can't stand hurting him. That's heartbreaking to hear.
This is exactly how I used to be. I let people walk all over me because I was concerned about their feelings. I didn't want to ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to make me think that ruining our family was my biggest mistake ever?
Q. About two years ago I was going through Great Depression and I cheated on my husband twice and had a 6 week affair. We were in different locations at the time. I fell pregnant and had an abortion because he wanted me to. So I did. We moved into a ...
A. 15 June 2013: You're both much better off without each other. You had an affair, got pregnant by someone else, had an abortion and blamed all that on being depressed. A LOT of people suffer from horrible, crippling depression and don't do any of those things. You ... (read in full...)
We want kids, but I'm terrified of pregnancy
Q. My partner and I are in our late twenties and our relationship is perfect except one thing .. the absence of a child. We both desperately want to start a family, he wants nothing more to be a father and we would start trying immediately if i...
A. 15 June 2013: I remember reading an article a while ago about a woman with tocophobia, a phobia of being pregnant and giving birth, which is every bit as real as any other phobia. It was very sad because she ended up aborting a much-longed-for baby because she ... (read in full...)
Did I get played? Was this my fault?
Q. I was talking with a guy for about a month. We really clicked well and liked each other but I wanted to take things slowly and not really rush into anything. It was neither one of our faults, but we both went kind of distant from each other for a...
A. 15 June 2013: This has happened to me, too, and it feels horrible at the time. I understand your sadness but in time you will be happy again and you will be happy that you didn't end up with this guy. You're not missing out. And just be glad that you didn't sleep ... (read in full...)
I promised my sister I would take care of her family, but this isn't what I bargained for
Q. Few years ago my sick sister made me promise that i would take care of her family if anything happened to her,at the time i didnt really think she would die so young,so the family arranged for me to marry her widower and raise her 4 kids,it was ...
A. 15 June 2013: Sorry, sent too soon. That doesn't mean that you have to be married to him. You've been thrown together by what has happened, not brought together by mutual love for each other.
I think you need to get out of this marriage. You are young and you ... (read in full...)
I promised my sister I would take care of her family, but this isn't what I bargained for
Q. Few years ago my sick sister made me promise that i would take care of her family if anything happened to her,at the time i didnt really think she would die so young,so the family arranged for me to marry her widower and raise her 4 kids,it was ...
A. 15 June 2013: Forgive me but this sounds like an awful arrangement and very sad for all involved. Whose idea was it? Was this really what your sister meant when she asked you to take care of her family? It is extremely unfair to ask anyone, especially someone as ... (read in full...)
Do parents who coddle their kids actually love them?
Q. I was dating this guy and everything was going good and it seemed we were becoming serious until I started finding out more about him and his family dynamics. A few months in I found out he lived with his mother (he was 36 at the time). I was ...
A. 15 June 2013: I see where you're coming from. It sounds like he lacks ambition and is quite happy living like a teenager/young adult. The good news is that it's his problem, not yours, and he doesn't even see it as a problem, so it's actually nobody's problem at ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: If she was conscious, she remembers it. She is using bring drunk as an excuse to get out of this. I got drunk many times in the past. Very very drunk. My memory was often hazy but if I so much as kissed someone, I knew about it the next day. I might ... (read in full...)
I gave in and told him I love him, but I didn't mean it the way I should
Q. I am in relationship wih this guy for over 2 months now,and he has told me he loves me and I dint say it back and he said I can take my time and he'l wait! But a few weeks ago he brought that up,saying he's scared I won't fall in love! When we met w...
A. 14 June 2013: First you say two months, then two days. Did he tell you he loved you after two days and expect you to say it back? Even after two months it's very soon, maybe too soon, so maybe you just typed days by mistake.
You can think you know and love a p... (read in full...)
My address and personal info is listed online. What should I do? Does it matter?
Q. How do I remove online information about myself? I admit that I'm quite the curious person, and have searched many acquaintances by their name and city. All that have come up are social networking websites and old blogs which are harmless. I was ...
A. 14 June 2013: I don't know if it works in the same way in the U.S. but in Britain, if you are on the electoral roll, your details are automatically appear on public directories unless you specify that you do not want them to be.
I had to fill in a form and writ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are not on the same page about how to raise my kids. Please advise?
Q. I have been married for 8 years it has been pretty tough. My boys are from a previous marriage. my husband came into this marriage knowing how I was as a mom. I do everything a mom would do for their kids, have I made mistake absolutely!!! My ...
A. 14 June 2013: Finding a person to raise children with is difficult, and finding a person who will raise someone else's children is even harder. There will always be some level of conflict because everyone has a different background.
You say your boys have tur... (read in full...)
My fiance's behaviour with the bosses daughter is out of line
Q. My Fiancé is friends with his boss and the boss's wife. I really like both of them, but I noticed that the boss's daughter who is 14 years old has a huge crush on my fiancé. Which is fine and normal but at a group party at the boss's house she would ...
A. 14 June 2013: The chatting in the house could have been innocent enough, but he should not have added her on Facebook, he should not be sending her messages and he should not be trying to persuade her to come out, even if other people will be there. Why would a ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: It sounds like you didn't get a good look at the guy (and I can't blame you for legging it out of there) but let's assume that it was him, as the odds are very high.
How you deal with this is up to you but you need to confront him at the earliest... (read in full...)
I met my online date, but do not like him. How do I let this fade away?
Q. I've been exchanging messages with this guy I met online for the past two weeks. We basically wrote lengthy letters to one another, covering a variety of topics. He's basically an open book, and a genuine guy from the "research" I've done on him. ...
A. 14 June 2013: Are you not just jumping to conclusions? You've met once. What makes you think he "probably thinks you are dating"? If he does think that, when nothing has been said about dating, then he's getting ahead of himself and needs to hold his horses, but ... (read in full...)
My friend sends very mixed signals and I don't know what to think!
Q. I met a guy from my high school days. both of us are separated. He has 1 kid and I have 4. He says he is not looking for no woman and I told him that I am not looking for no man either. We keep in contact daily. one day he allowed me to kn...
A. 13 June 2013: I don't think you should pursue anything with this man. You don't know what he wants from you. You could ask him but I suspect he doesn't know what he wants either. From what you say, he doesn't sound great. You have four children so the only man ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to hook up with this man? I'm friends with his ex!
Q. Would it really be so bad if we hooked up? I have a guy who was a mutual friend of mine and my ex husband. We used to hang out together as a group (me, my ex *he was my husband at the time*, him, and his girlfriend-now his ex) I'm very good f...
A. 13 June 2013: I don't know. One of my friends decided to hook up with her (now former) best friend's ex and father of the ex's children. It ruined the friendship and she's no longer got anything to do with this guy. I don't think it's a good idea. If you had both ... (read in full...)
Should I pay to lose my virginity?
Q. Hello I've been thinking about this alot recently. I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl; nor have I been on a date. I'm not handsome in any classical sense, and I'm a big husky guy. Not to mention, a giant geek (read comic books etc)...
A. 13 June 2013: I would advise against it for the reasons others have already listed. Sharing something so intimate and meaningful with someone who would not be there if you were not paying her is so hollow. I'm not a man so I guess I'll never understand the ways ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I'm a chubby chaser? I don't want them to get thin!
Q. please help i want alot of opinions hopefully professional opinions, heres my question- i love dating plus size women over 300lbs but heres the thing, if a plus size woman wants to lose weight all the attraction is over and the relationship is ...
A. 13 June 2013: There's nothing wrong with it as such, but being attracted to someone only because she's obese is no less shallow than only being attracted to thin women, or women with big breasts. It's a fetish, and the "relationships" you're having are based on ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is hanging by a thread. My husband changed his facebook password and won't give it to me!
Q. I need help trying to not let it bother me that my husband changed his fb pass on me and wont give it to me cause i cant trust him. Our marriage is hanging by a thread and im trying really hard to fix this prob. It doesnt help that most people I ...
A. 13 June 2013: If you've been together for 6 years but broken up every year then getting married was a recipe for disaster because then your marriage really is hanging on by a thread. And what on earth was he doing asking you to marry him when things were so ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 12 June 2013: Most women haven't had an abortion, but there are many who have. I know a few women who have had one, the first back in the 70s and the last I think about four years ago. While I haven't spoken to all of them at length about how they feel now, they ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't think before speaking and says very hurtful things. Should I dump him? Or see if he'll change?
Q. Ok, tomorrow will be me and my boyfriends six Monthiversary or whatever. Im not exactly super exciting because i think we arent doing so well and my boyfriend thinks everything is fine. Here's a few problems we have: He hates picking me up now beca...
A. 12 June 2013: Don't just think about dumping him, do it. I don't think anybody's going to tell you that he'll change, or that you can work things out, because people don't change, especially controlling, abusive people, and it sounds like that's what he is. He ... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't feel the same way, but I don't want to let it go
Q. So I'm 16 and I've liked the same person for over a year now and still can't give in and move on. He's a very close family friend so he's mentioned in my family a lot however I hardly see him now, every 2-3 months. Last year it all hit me hard and I ...
A. 12 June 2013: Don't speak to him again. He's known since last year how you feel about him so if he had changed his mind in the meantime he would have let you know. You'd just be making a fool of yourself and pushing him away.
You're 16 and you have a lifetime... (read in full...)
I just want an answer from him -- are we done?
Q. I was seeing a man who is 26. I am 37 with two kids who is recently seperated. We have hooked up a few times. text daily. The past week he seems cold and the texts are zero. He also was at my house and stayed over three times 2 weeks ago, but ...
A. 12 June 2013: You've got your answer already. The fact that he isn't contacting you means it's over. He's got what he wants. That's not to say he won't try again in the future, but for now he doesn't want anything else from you.
It's been mentioned already ... (read in full...)
Planned a vacation with a friend but her negativity is giving me second thoughts
Q. Here is the upsetting situation for me with my friend. More than a year ago we went to a bar with her and I met one of the most gorgeous guys ever. He was younger and really good looking. He took my phone number in bar, and kept texting me after we...
A. 12 June 2013: I'm with the other aunts and uncles on this. I have found myself in a very similar situation to that of your friend. While on holiday with one of my best friends, we met some guys and she hooked up with one of them. Soon after getting home she ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel we're so compatible that we're not compatible. What should I do?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts. First, a little background. My ex and I were together for five years before we split. Factors were very curable, we just needed some time apart. Well, we had a year apart and then I came back from England... with a boyfriend. I can ...
A. 12 June 2013: Usually when people break up it's because they are not right for each other. Over time, memories tend to fade and what was bad at the time and caused you to break up might seem like a very small thing.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you were tha... (read in full...)
Our marriage is hanging by a thread. My husband changed his facebook password and won't give it to me!
Q. I need help trying to not let it bother me that my husband changed his fb pass on me and wont give it to me cause i cant trust him. Our marriage is hanging by a thread and im trying really hard to fix this prob. It doesnt help that most people I ...
A. 12 June 2013: Getting your husband's Facebook password so that you can see what he's been up to online will not save your marriage if you don't trust him. Has he cheated on you before? Have you caught him texting/emailing other women? In that case your problem ... (read in full...)
After 4months my ex girlfriend who broke up with me sent an SMS. What does she want from me.
Q. hi After 4 months my ex girlfriend that broke up a four year relationship with me sent an sms asking me if i knew the price of a good laptop. i didn't reply her, after one hour she sent another sms saying "i sent you a message but you didn't r...
A. 11 June 2013: Either continue to ignore her or send her a brusque message reminding her that you are not together and not friends. The only problem with the latter is that you are then engaging with her and she may take your response as a sign that you are ... (read in full...)
Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 11 June 2013: He cheats on you with your best mate then wants you to be open and vulnerable? She thinks it's OK to have a thing for her best friend's husband and to act on it? You don't owe your friend anything. You don't have to pretend that she is still you... (read in full...)
Is it ok to reconnect with my friend that I haven't talked to in over a year?
Q. I have a really unique situation here. I met this guy more than one year ago on the internet. We were pen pals and wrote back and forth for over 6 months. I was traveling to NYC and we decided to meet for the first time there: best day ever. Two ...
A. 11 June 2013: Don't do it. It won't help and it will only prolong your pain. The fact that you are thinking about him and hurting after all this time is NOT indicative of him being the love of your life, especially because of your age range. Hopefully you will ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about his wife's betrayal?
Q. I have a close male friend. Years back his wife cheated on him, and he knows that. But since then he let that behind him. I was really impressed the way it was handled. However, in the past year I have known the guy his wife cheated on, through a ...
A. 11 June 2013: Tell him what you've heard but don't get involved beyond that. You don't need to tell him this was done on purpose, for example, because you don't know that. Both he and the child deserve to know the truth. Too many people grow up not knowing w... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend's constant texting with his ex die down or should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for around two years and have an apartment together. We have been very happy together. Recently, my boyfriend's ex came back from a study abroad program in Europe. When they split up after dating for 4 years, t...
A. 11 June 2013: It sounds like she is trying to get him back and he is enjoying the attention. Don't tell him to stop texting her, but tell him it upsets you and let him decide what to do. If he is truly considerate about your feelings he will stop contacting her. ... (read in full...)
Doesn't anyone date anymore?
Q. I just became single again after 3 years relationship. Started going out and meeting lots of guys. We exchange phone numbers, then they call or text. Never with an invitation for a date. It's ussualy a little after we met: did you get home alright? ...
A. 11 June 2013: I've found that a lot of guys will take me out on one date but after that they get impatient and it's all about trying to get sex. Even "nice guys", in my experience. It's off-putting and annoying. I would like to get to know a guy gradually, and I ... (read in full...)
Should I do something for my b/f of 6 months on father's day?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months and he has a young son. Should I do something special for him for Fathers Day? I'm pretty sure his ex wife will get some something for him from their son but should I do something too?...
A. 11 June 2013: I wouldn't if I were you. I understand the mother of his child giving him something if the child is too young to do so himself but as his girlfriend you really don't need to. He's not your dad and he's not the father of your child. Sorry to be a ... (read in full...)
Could this man's answer mean that there is more than friendship on the horizon?
Q. Met this man about 3 months ago and while we haven't gone out on an official date I see him and speak to him everyday. Myself, my son and this guy were in the store one day and a lady asked him if my son was his son. He answered her question ...
A. 11 June 2013: Do you not find it a little bit strange that he said you're son was his son even though he's not? ... (read in full...)
Why would he want a LD FWB relationship with me when he can just go down the street and have sex?
Q. So recently I just started talking to an ex of mine. We live states away, so basically the only thing that we do is text for right now. I'm fairly content to be on my own at the moment, since I got out of a long relationship not too long ago and ...
A. 11 June 2013: Don't do it. Cut contact with him. How dare he come crawling back? Don't let him use you. There's nothing to say that he's NOT having sex with these other girls and now he wants to make sure he's got you on board as well. It's dangerous for you ... (read in full...)
G/f can achieve orgasm only by herself not through sex. I'm starting to love her less and less
Q. Thanks in advance for any replies. Basically my girlfriend rarely achieves orgasm when we are together. We've tried the obvious things from me going down on her for a long time, to putting a pillow under her hips for when I am on top. When she...
A. 11 June 2013: Girls don't have to come every time, you know. It's good to do so, but sex is pretty nice even without the climax. If this is making you love her less instead of wanting to try to work things out then maybe it's time for you to go your separate... (read in full...)
I'm devastated after an affair and he will not leave his wife for me
Q. Hi, I decided to reach out to the users of this site because I am in desperate need of guidance and advice. I have been in an affair with a married man for exactly one year now. We used to live in the same town and his wife used to live in another ...
A. 10 June 2013: A good rule to remember is that anything a married man who is willing to have an affair tells you will be a big fat lie. All that stuff about wanting to leave his wife? A lie. All the stuff about not being able to leave his wife? A lie. All the ... (read in full...)
After cheating and a break up, my ex friended me on facebook. How do I respond?
Q. My ex and I were in a LDR. We broke up last month. It was a bad breakup. I asked him for closure, but he didn't say anything or contact me. I was heartbroken and cried to bed almost every night. I defriended him on Facebook after the breakup and ...
A. 10 June 2013: Nooooo. Do not even think about accepting his friend request. Block him. Immediately. Please, for your own sake. Giving him access to your FB page will not make him realise what he's missing, it will just give him an opportunity to wheedle his way ... (read in full...)
He won't tell me if he's gay and neither will anyone else!
Q. I'm 24, and gay, and there's a guy who I like who drinks at a local gay bar - the only one in our small Northern England coastal town. I've spoken to him a few times, seems like a nice guy, but how can I tell if he's gay or not? I know he comes to...
A. 10 June 2013: Being camp and wearing loud clothing doesn't have to mean anything, but he drinks in a gay bar and he openly promotes LGBT issues. Those would be enough for me to assume he was gay, because most straight guys do not do those things. Maybe he just ... (read in full...)
Men: how reasonable is it to think that they sent over 500 sexually explicit messages in a month, that they were only together twice?
Q. I am in a very difficult situation. I found out after 9 years of being with my husband he cheated. He didnt come clean, I just so happened to find out one day and confronted him about it. At first he lied over and over until he decided to "come all ...
A. 10 June 2013: I don't think reading the text will help you, really I don't. It will make you feel much worse, I can almost guarantee you. It will make no difference with regards to what happened, he will still have cheated on you and betrayed your trust and ... (read in full...)
Attempts at anal sex cause extreme pain. What can we do?
Q. I apologize in advance if this gets to be too gross or weird. It is for me but I figured some answers might be helpful since past posts have always been. My boyfriend has tried anal sex a few times but I've always stopped him immediately beca...
A. 10 June 2013: You definitely need to use lube and lots of it. I've tried it twice, the first time was uncomfortable but I sort of got used to it and almost enjoyed it. The second time I experienced the horrible, stabbing, ... (read in full...)
Is it charming or tacky to give daily Online updates about your relationship?
Q. OK, so my friend and I got into a argument today. He started dating this girl, a real looker. I'm subscribed to his facebook and in the past two months it's like every post is about her. Her photo, stuff she said, places they went. He's my bu...
A. 10 June 2013: Facebook is great for making you feel rubbish about the things you don't have. I know how you feel but you have to remember that he's not trying to rub your nose in it. He just can't relate to how you and your other friends feel right now because ... (read in full...)
Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 10 June 2013: Never stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of your children. You will not be doing them a favour. They will grow up to think that being unhappy and feeling trapped and disgusted by your spouse is normal, and that cheating is acceptable and ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 5 June 2013: I'm sorry for you. You're in a very difficult situation and the pressure of time doesn't help. This is probably the hardest decision you'll ever make and you need to make it fast. If you keep this child, you will struggle financially. You... (read in full...)
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