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... Send Giles a private message | | | Giles's profile:I'm happily married. I live in South Africa. I'm a paramedic, so I love observing analysing, diagnosing, then coming up with a logical solution. I believe the world is totally screwed up, and we should help anyone who asks for it, with sincerity and care. |
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My boyfriend was a peeping tom and I am disgusted but we are getting married.
Q. Can you help me...last week i found on a camera a recording of a girl getting dressed in front of a window, my boyfriend had been standing in her garden watching her. He did this about three years before we got together and told me he was depressed ...
A. 28 November 2007: Well I don't like to judge someone based on that. I mean, if thought that sexual preferences /things individuals find erotic that I didn't agree with were wrong, then I would be homophobic, but I'm not. It's not peoples fault if they are turned on ... (read in full...)
How long will a guy wait for sex??
Q. So heres just a general question to see what everyones point of view is. How long is a unreasonable amount of time to expect a guy to wait for sex? What I mean is, say a girl isnt ready to have sex with her bf (whether she be a virgin or not) but...
A. 28 November 2007: Get it out the way as soon as possible, that way, if you don't like it, it's easier to break up! Hehehe! I joke. Having been through something similar myself, I went out with a girl for about 10 months before we broke up. She didn't want to h... (read in full...)
?She needs space what do I do?
Q. Hi there, my girlfriend for 5 months now needs space but she says she loves me. It's been about a week now and she texts me I do miss you. Why is that she told me that she needed to be single for a while and be on here own and she can't be my ...
A. 28 November 2007: This is an opportunity for you to get a huge amount of power in the relationship. and I dont mean power OVER HER, I mean power for where you feel you stand relative to her. The worst thing you can do now is to chase after her, trying to force an ... (read in full...)
My fiance talks to his ex wife every day, why does he do that?
Q. Does anyone know why someone would talk to their ex every single day more than they talk to their Fiancee? I have been dating my Fiancee now for almost 2 years and he talks to his ex-wife every single day. Sometimes more than he talks to me. I wo...
A. 25 November 2007: Hi again. I could actually feel the emotion as I read that! Shame. So sorry that you're in this situation. Heres one thing that I belive: It won't get better, it'l get worse. Have you ever heard of a relationship where people say, "Wow... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 24 November 2007: Allo!
I have a job where I work abroad for 6 weeks at a time. I know exactly the kind of situation youre talking about. Thing is, I'm doing it for my family, and my wife knows this. She doesn't think I'm abandoning her, beacuse my my whole re... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 24 November 2007: I agree with the others, but on the other hand, YOUR hand, I'm sure it must be difficult to work so close to her. Disclipline is probably the answer. You have to be disciplined to not go beyond whatever boundaries you set yourself in your ... (read in full...)
How can I show her that I understand and love her?
Q. hi everyone, This is the sum up of the story and plese ask for help. My gf and I have been 2 months together and now i'm working in other conuntry which is very close to hers.. She is student and as far aas i know she is bit in a hurry to finish ...
A. 24 November 2007: As for the previous answer, I don't know about telling her "I love you." If she's already stressed this might scare her off, especially as you've only been dating for 2 months. Big words. But an obvious gesture to show that you'd love to help her ... (read in full...)
I'm checking men out...and it is unsettleing me.
Q. Hi, Im a 32 year old guy and recently ive noticed something disturbing thats been happening to me. I'll be at the movies or something and I'll say to myself, George Clooney is a good looking bloke or whoever was in the movie at the time. And Im d...
A. 24 November 2007: Sounds to me like you're straight as a freeway!... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my trust issues and stop behaving so bad towards her??
Q. I have a problem with my relationship with my girlfriend, i love her and dont want to split up or hurt her, but i am being a pig. I dont trust her, when she goes out with her friends, i dont like it and when she comes back i sulk and dont talk to ...
A. 24 November 2007: Why don't you trust her? What has she done in the past to provoke your distrust? Has this happened before with other relationships?
You seem like a fairly open minded bloke, at least you can identify a fault in yourself, and you're looking ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend this, is it a big deal??
Q. I am 14 and one of my freinds has a boyfreind they have been going out for about a month. He has already cheated on her, which she forgave him for and recently in my drama lesson another girl was sitting on his lap who my friend dislikes. Should i ...
A. 24 November 2007: I don't think that having a girl sit on his lap is such a bad thing, especially if its only an issue because your friend doesn't like her... Besides, they've only been going out for a month. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell your friend, but there ... (read in full...)
Is love selfish? Opinions please!
Q. My question: Is love selfish? does someone only love because it makes them happy inside? would someone love a person who doesn't make them happy? look at these questions while you answer my question. - why do people stop loving a person? when the...
A. 24 November 2007: Well, your response is a bit muddled, but somehow i sense we're on the same wavelegth. Lets work with the first sentence. Im saying that we should love IN SPITE OF how others make us feel about ourselves. I think perhaps you are getting in too d... (read in full...)
Am I ready?
Q. i'm 15 and there's a guy i really love. we have talked about having sex lots of times but i don't know i'm ready or not. can you help me?...
A. 24 November 2007: Woah! Tough question! Well, first of all, I'm really into freedom and independance and how you should make your own decision and all that, but, girl, they made it illegal to have sex with a minor for a reason! But I know that kids like to be co... (read in full...)
She feeds my insecurities by showing signs that she still feels for him, how can I get this off my chest when she wont speak about it?
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for just about 2 years. I adore her and I know she loves me. OK. i'll get just down to it. Her ex!! He was her first and i know she was crazy about him and I know she still thinks he's the 'perfect' guy. i ...
A. 24 November 2007: Hey. This is not about your insecurities. Don't even think of taking this personally! This is about her. I can tell you for a FACT that she still wishes she was with this other chap. She needs to realise, by coming to her own conclusi... (read in full...)
His sexy talk makes me feel cheap
Q. my boyfreind talks dirty to me whenever i give him a blow job and its making me feel cheap. i dont mind it sometimes in bed, it can be hot, but he does it nonstop when im giving him oral sex. he says stuff like do you love my big co*k, and suck me ...
A. 24 November 2007: Hi. A sexual relationship has to be enjoyable for both people involved. Some guys DO like to experience the feeling of power, hence his wanting to act out the fantasy of being your master, or whatever it is. Some girls like it too! But this ... (read in full...)
What do I do?
Q. I need help...i have nobody to talk to My ex and i broke up a month ago he kept makin love to me and kissing me and sayin he loved me...but the last time it felt werid like he wasn't there and he went to the movies with his dad and said he was goin ...
A. 24 November 2007: Sorry love. I think this is the nature of school relationships these days. They go in, they get what they want, and they move on at the first sign of difficulty. First thing: Don't take it personally. The world is not out to get you. You're ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this, childish, irritating friend?
Q. My situation is probably kind of trivial, but at the moment it's bothering me a lot. I work in a bar and I know most of the clientele pretty well. I used to hang out with a lot of them before I worked there and they got to be fairly good friends - ...
A. 24 November 2007: I reckon, if she's a drama queen, confront her in a situation where you're in control, where you can minimize the drama. In front of other people is not a good situation. She'll probably be her usual dramatic 'vitimized' self. Talk to her calmly ... (read in full...)
I know it's silly but I have a crush on my teacher and it's affecting my grades, how can I get over this?
Q. I'm Sooooo stressed, and it's down to just ONE person! A Teacher... I've had an obsessive crush on him for nearly a year, and it's actually affecting my school work - I'm not a nerd or anything, but if i wanna get my dream job i'm gonna have to ...
A. 24 November 2007: Its a good thing yo're going to see a councillor. Not to say that you're mental or anything, I'm sure young people today are under enormous pressure! Glad to here you're trying to get it under control.
When people want someone, they don't ac... (read in full...)
I cheated on her and she won't take me back because she's been hurt this way before. I can't move on, what should I do?
Q. Hello, I have a question. I had an eight month relationship with a wonderful, beautiful young lady. I had never felt this way about any girl in my life, and I am sure that I was, and still am, in love with her. However, a little while ago, I cheated ...
A. 24 November 2007: You know pal, some people are just people of principle. They'll cut off their nose to spite their face. I once dated a girl, got scared and broke it off. She got hurt, and I spent 3 years trying to mend the damage, but she wouldn't take me back ... (read in full...)
Is love selfish? Opinions please!
Q. My question: Is love selfish? does someone only love because it makes them happy inside? would someone love a person who doesn't make them happy? look at these questions while you answer my question. - why do people stop loving a person? when the...
A. 24 November 2007: I remember asking exactly the same question years ago! Quite disillusioning, isn't it? Kind of makes you think maybe we're all beasts, and to a point we are.
My personal opinion though, is that, while this thing we call love is selfish, TRUE lov... (read in full...)
My fiance talks to his ex wife every day, why does he do that?
Q. Does anyone know why someone would talk to their ex every single day more than they talk to their Fiancee? I have been dating my Fiancee now for almost 2 years and he talks to his ex-wife every single day. Sometimes more than he talks to me. I wo...
A. 24 November 2007: I'm very happily married but I still keep in contact with some of my ex's (not ex wives though, first time for me) and really good girlFRIENDS. For me theres no question of my devotion to my wife, but She can't be the only female in my life! Men ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I tried the 69 position and I think I had an orgasm but I'm not sure, could it just have been light-headedness?
Q. Hey, I have been sleeping with my boyfriend for about 4-5 months. We were in a fantastic 69 position the other day and, I think I had my first orgasm. Though I can't really remember it, it felt special and unlike anything I've experienced before. ...
A. 24 November 2007: Well, Im a guy, but it sounds like it...
Aaahhh... the romance...... (read in full...)
I want my ex back and I know he still loves me too but he's playing hard to get
Q. hi. my name is marie. and i just wanted to know what i should do about the situation im in. there is this man that i love named paul. we use to be together. we were in love and i wouldn't have traded our love for the world. things got bad later on ...
A. 24 November 2007: Hi Marie. Thanks for your time.
So, at the end of the day, you want to know how to get a guy that you once went out with, back?
Well, if he DOES love you, like you say he does, and he IS just playing hard to get, well, thats just a power gam... (read in full...)
I want to tell her I love her, if she rejects me should I show her how badly it affects me?
Q. hi. I need some help on how to tell a girl i love her. I've liked her for a year now. I thought i would stay friends but we're good friends but i love her too much. I've asked her a cinema few times but somethin always come up. Happened twice. Dunno ...
A. 24 November 2007: I see you've already mentally prepared to fail...
First of all, there is no need to say the words, "I love you" just yet. If you say those prematurely it will only complicate things. ACTIONS speak louder than words. your actions will resonant... (read in full...)
My long-distance boyfriend has said he'd change because he doesn't treat me right and I have a male friend who fancies me, how should I handle all this?
Q. I just started at college 3 months ago and I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of over a year. Lately he has not been treating me well and I know he is constantly flirting with other girls. I was ready to break up with him but ...
A. 24 November 2007: I'll give the same advice I seem to be giving everyone these days (not to detract from your situation but just to say that a lot of people are in the same boat...)
Give it time.
In a month or two of just getting to know this other guy, you'll b... (read in full...)
How do you make out with a boy?
Q. help me!! i need 2 no how 2 make out with a guy!! plz help me!! ...
A. 24 November 2007: Difficult question, the answer to which all depends on how far you're willing to go... I mean, 'making out' undoubtedly has a different meaning now compared to when I was your age...
You may be better off talking to someone who's closer to the y... (read in full...)
I want my ex back. He's a drug dealer and I've even bought drugs from him just so I can see him! What should I do?
Q. I think Ive fallen for a boy who I was seeing back in the summer but we finished 2 months ago. I miss him so much and although we had a massive argument when we split up we have only just started talking again and Im really happy. The only thing is, ...
A. 24 November 2007: Before I give this answer, you should know that I have little patince and tolerance for drug dealers. My best friend from childhood days died of a drug OD.
It never ceases to amaze me how desperate people are! Why are you so determined to have ... (read in full...)
Sex life lacking a little variety.
Q. Hi there community! My problem isn't really a problem. You see, I've been married for the last 6 months, and everything is going really well. She's wonderful, we're wonderful, we want to have kids... sounds like bliss? Well it's the closest ...
A. 24 November 2007: The idea about doing things together is something we're working on currently, as for reading cosmo... i dont know about that. Do you think women like a guy who reads cosmo??
I also dont really know about going to a psychotherapist, or at least sugg... (read in full...)
He's more experienced than me and I feel like I'm letting him down...any tips?
Q. Plz help, I've recently lost my virginity to my new boyfriend, the thing is im to worried im not doing more to please him, how do you give hand jobs?like what do i do?, and any more tips on making the sex better for him, hes much more experien...
A. 23 November 2007: It's very difficult to advise on how to do sexual things e.g. handjobs, oral sex, inetrcourse, etc. because its different for each person! Where some men like it hard, others like it soft, where some like nakedness, other prefer a bit of lingerie, ... (read in full...)
3 yrs goin down the drain for HIS FRIEND!???
Q. Okay this is gonna be a pretty long post but i rly need advice... My bf and i have been together for almost 3 years. thats sooo long for me. things were going great and still are. There are just always those "times" when it seems like everything ...
A. 23 November 2007: How about...continue going uot with your bf, and get to know R. as a friened. Tell R. that you have a boyfriend and that you dont want to do anything thats not right. Then after a while of getting to know him, you'll know what kind of guy he is. ... (read in full...)
Is my college teacher attracted to me?
Q. I have a sneaking suspicion that my teacher is attracted to me. I'm 18 and he's 26. I feel like he sometimes makes roundabout attempts to single me out when asking a question or discussing something during class. He's always so interested in what I ...
A. 23 November 2007: I think you must ask yourself if you're not projecting feelings onto him, imagining things that aren't really there. He seems to have a valid excuse every time he chats to you. I'm not saying this is the case but the possibility is there. Maybe ... (read in full...)
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