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*abeP

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She hurts me so much and I don't know what to do!

Q.   I've been with my girlfirend for about 8months now. When we started dating she was a sweetheart and was so nice. After the third month she began to fight with me with for just about anything small or big. She would start the fight, get me heated and ...

A.   5 July 2010: You've got to stand up to her. Explain clearly and firmly what she does that bothers you and why you're going to demand that she stop. In my experience, both women and men will gleefully mistreat their partners if they don't think they'll stand up ... (read in full...)

How do I tell mum I don't have a boyfriend?

Q.   Dear Cupid.. First thing is, how do I tell my mum that I dont have a boyfriend.. I'm turning 18 very soon and I have never had a boyfriend before (many people find that strange, and some find it hard to believe) anyway, my friend came over today ...

A.   5 July 2010: It sounds like you have two questions. The first is the one you explicitly ask: how do you tell her you are single? This is really easy: you tell her and she'll either believe you or not. Just tell the truth and she's going to believe what she'll ... (read in full...)

He keeps running hot and cold

Q.   okay me and my boyfriend were dating after justa few months of being together he told me he wanted to marry me i said yes. We were going great in our relationship after he got in the military 5 months later it was good at first but then he started ...

A.   5 July 2010: I think you're too young for this situation. It sounds like he's being a flake - in other words, he's acting like most any 18-22 year old male would act. I would start by taking his words literally. He might love you, he probably loves yo... (read in full...)

I feel so stressed and drained by my "friends"

Q.   I always try to be there for my friends and no matter what I do it isn't good enough. Friend A: I thought we were close, but she started to ditch me and stopped contacting me. When she would re-surface, I would pick her up, drive to a restaurant ...

A.   5 July 2010: Ma'am, you're twenty five to thirty and it seems like you're hanging out with high schoolers. Being lonely sucks, but I'll bet you're lonely now. You feel too old and tired for it because you ARE too old and tired for it. Find some new friends.... (read in full...)

How do I leave a controlling cop?

Q.   Help, I am living with a controlling man, who is also a policeman. I own my own house and have told him to leave but he refuses to. He had a messed up upbringing, doesnt speak to his family, has issues beyond belief and is manipulative. ...

A.   5 July 2010: You leave him by leaving him. That sounds flippant, but you have to begin with the realization that leaving him is your only option. Maybe he can make trouble for you, but he's making trouble for you now. The worst case scenario is having this ... (read in full...)

Her fooling around... Do I have the right to be angry?

Q.   I just found out that my girl fooled around with this guy from work. We had known each other at the time but it was before we started dating. It just repulses me to know about it. He is a truly disgusting guy. She got checked for STDs because of him ...

A.   5 July 2010: I'll offer a somewhat different view. Rather than ask whether you have the "right" to be angry, ask yourself what her decision to date/sleep with this guy should tell you. Does it tell you that she made a mistake? Does it tell you that she ... (read in full...)

He wants to leave me after the summer!

Q.   Ok, so I've had some ups and downs with my relationship and whatnot. Next week it will be two years being in this relationship. We've been living together for the past year or so and I've been in high school I know really young age to be living with ...

A.   4 July 2010: I cannot think of a kind way to answer your last question, so I'm going to say it bluntly: I think you've already lost him. It seems like the relationship got too grown up for your age and you ended up living with a guy who wanted a homecoming ... (read in full...)

I think he might be cheating on me, should I stay with him anyway?

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for a long time i love him a lot but he has done a lot of things that are weird but i have never caught him cheating but i dont know sometimes i feel like he is and hes kinda mean sometimes but he always tells me im the ...

A.   4 July 2010: Not enough information, but here's what I'll say: if he's cheating now, you cannot assume that he'll stop cheating later. This comes down to the simple Ann Landers question: are you better off with him or without him? Don't assume that engagement ... (read in full...)

How should I tell my parents I'm dating my cousin?

Q.   I'm I'm love with my cousin we have been dating for almost 4 years and our family doesn't have any clue . All our friend know we are dating but don't have any idea we are cousins. I am 21 years and hr is about to be 31. This year has been the ...

A.   4 July 2010: Separating my own feelings about kissing cousins from this situation, MarriedLady is absolutely right: you need a game plan. Not just as to how you're going to tell them, but why you think it's OK to do what you're doing. Their response (as you ... (read in full...)

I have feelings for a coworker, is it a good idea to get close to his friend in hopes of getting closer to him?

Q.   Well i have been at this company for a few years..i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well..just genuinly friendly it seems and very good at work--remains focused and motivated..he is pretty popular in the ...

A.   4 July 2010: Long story, ma'am. I'm not sure this is responsive, but I would relax a little bit. It feels kinda like you're scheming to hang out with him and it just doesn't seem that's necessary. If he was willing to take his pants off, he either thought you ... (read in full...)

He thinks I'm cheating, but I'm not.

Q.   [Mod Note: OP title] Ok, so this is the deal. My boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and 4 months. We met on myspace and live 3,000 miles apart. I cheated on him when we first got together i dont know what i was thinking but it happ...

A.   4 July 2010: Here's the deal. You say you "cheated on him" when you "first got together". In this context, what does getting together even mean? Had you already announced that you didn't intend to date other people, or that you were dating, or that you were ... (read in full...)

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